We're doing something wrong, America.

On Instagram? Like sexy? Then check out our sexy Instagram.

This photo makes me throw up.

Like real ones? Check out our gallery of exceptionally busty ladies.

So close.

For no reason at all, here's a sexy girl gallery.

April Vaughan is a hot, young Australian model who has been featured in Zoo Weekly and the 2012 Monster Energy Drink Calendar (June). She is also a former Miss Teen Australia finalist. You may have seen Vaughan on Mandatory before as a dark-haired beauty, but for this sexy shoot she is donning the blonde look. We can't decide which is better. Click ahead for more of the 21-year-old model from Down Under.

April Vaughan is a hot, young Australian model who has been featured in Zoo Weekly and the 2012 Monster Energy Drink Calendar (June). She is also a former Miss Teen Australia finalist. You may have seen Vaughan on Mandatory before as a dark-haired beauty, but for this sexy shoot she is donning the blonde look. We can't decide which is better. Click ahead for more of the 21-year-old model from Down Under.

April Vaughan is a hot, young Australian model who has been featured in Zoo Weekly and the 2012 Monster Energy Drink Calendar (June). She is also a former Miss Teen Australia finalist. You may have seen Vaughan on Mandatory before as a dark-haired beauty, but for this sexy shoot she is donning the blonde look. We can't decide which is better. Click ahead for more of the 21-year-old model from Down Under.

April Vaughan is a hot, young Australian model who has been featured in Zoo Weekly and the 2012 Monster Energy Drink Calendar (June). She is also a former Miss Teen Australia finalist. You may have seen Vaughan on Mandatory before as a dark-haired beauty, but for this sexy shoot she is donning the blonde look. We can't decide which is better. Click ahead for more of the 21-year-old model from Down Under.

April Vaughan is a hot, young Australian model who has been featured in Zoo Weekly and the 2012 Monster Energy Drink Calendar (June). She is also a former Miss Teen Australia finalist. You may have seen Vaughan on Mandatory before as a dark-haired beauty, but for this sexy shoot she is donning the blonde look. We can't decide which is better. Click ahead for more of the 21-year-old model from Down Under.

April Vaughan is a hot, young Australian model who has been featured in Zoo Weekly and the 2012 Monster Energy Drink Calendar (June). She is also a former Miss Teen Australia finalist. You may have seen Vaughan on Mandatory before as a dark-haired beauty, but for this sexy shoot she is donning the blonde look. We can't decide which is better. Click ahead for more of the 21-year-old model from Down Under.

A Dozen Tattooed Body Parts

Obviously, the sewer is going to be a popular dumping spot for corpses, but usually they're pretty identifiable. Not so in the case of a grotesque load of human remains unearthed in the Detroit sewer system in 2012. While a construction crew was excavating, they pulled out 12 hunks of flesh, each about the size of a softball. This was no ordinary murder, as the pieces had been cut with disturbing precision. Several of the pieces had parts of a tattoo on them as well. The mystery is still unsolved, and more chunks were found a few months later.

Annelid Worms

I really feel bad for the people who have to go underground and explore sewers for blockages. Sometimes they run into things that are too horrifying to process. One amazing incident happened in 2009 when sanitation workers in Raleigh, North Carolina, were terrified to discover what seemed like an alien life form growing all over the tunnel walls. They were massive, fleshy polyps that appeared to be breathing and would jerk and twist every so often. It took weeks for somebody to figure out exactly what they were. The gross growths were annelid worms, a kind of parasite that feeds on filth. A huge mass of them had coiled around each other, giving the impression of a single huge (and scary) organism.

Human Placentas

There's a lot of folk wisdom about the placenta, that temporary organ that feeds a baby in the womb. Some people believe that eating it after the birth can provide significant health benefits to the mother. Somebody else - in Champaign-Urbana, Illinois - believes that you should just flush it down the toilet. Over a short span of time in 2009, the Urbana-Champaign Sanitary District reported pulling at least three fresh human placentas out of the sewer system, relatively intact. Considered medical waste, placentas need to be disposed of in biohazard bags, not down the potty. The source of the placentas was never discovered.

A Six-Foot Python

When you're a kid, the toilet is a scary thing. It's a mysterious portal to who knows where that you send waste down. As you grow up, you learn that nothing's going to come back from the sewers, right? Not so in the case of a poor chump in Australia, who went to use the toilet on the tenth floor of his high-rise apartment in Darwin only to discover a six-foot-long black-headed python curled up in the bowl. The snake had obviously escaped down a drain and spent some time traveling through the building's sewer system before stopping to rest in the toilet.

A Little Girl's Severed Head and Torso

William Heirens, the serial murderer known as the "Lipstick Killer," was a sick son of a bitch. In 1946, he kidnapped six-year-old Suzanne Degnan from her family's Chicago home, leaving a ransom note. When the ransom wasn't paid, he called the Chicago police department and told them to check the sewers around Degnan's home. They pulled out the young girl's severed head, torso and limbs from four different storm drains. She had been expertly butchered, but despite the heaviness of the iron drain covers, nobody had heard them lifted or replaced. It was several years before Heirens was brought to justice for this and two other murders.

Thick White Foam

Sure, it's pretty gross that all this stuff is in the sewers, but what about when it comes out of the sewers? That's what happened to residents of Point Loma, a small community outside of San Diego, in 2010, when a heavy rain caused a very disturbing occurrence. Thick, stinky white foam began pouring out of the city's storm drains in huge amounts, covering roads from sidewalk to sidewalk. As quickly as it appeared, it began to flow downhill into the San Diego Bay, never to be seen again. Speculation is that it was an algae colony dislodged by the rain, but we may never know.

A Ninety-Foot Blob

When things go into the sewer that don't belong there, all hell can break loose. You've seen warnings on toilets instructing users to flush nothing but poop, pee and toilet paper. Residents of Lewiston, Maine, ignored those warnings and as a result, built one of the most disgusting sewer blobs of all time. In 2008, sanitation workers were investigating the cause of a water backup on the city's Main Street line, only to discover that it was due to a wad of greasy, doughy material that stretched a staggering 90 feet through a pipeline a foot in diameter. They ended up having to remove the entire pipe to dispose of it.

A Live Teenage Boy

No, we're not saying that Ohio teenager Jeffrey LaPorta is gross - he seems like a very nice boy. But his odyssey through the sewers of a Cleveland suburb is one of the most disturbing things we've ever read about. Torrential rains in September 2012 should have kept Jeffrey off the streets of Parma, but he decided to go ride his bike through puddles with friends. Unfortunately, one puddle was deeper than he thought and he got pulled off his bike and through a storm drain tube about two feet in diameter. From there, rushing water carried him underwater, through a series of pipes and beneath roads. He finally managed to grab a handle and pull his head above water to call for help. Rescuers discovered that he traveled more than a quarter of a mile through the sewers.

No. 10 - Organic Web Shooters

Issues: "The Spectacular Spider-Man" (2nd Series) #17-20 (2004)

Don't get us wrong, it was pretty cool how in the 2000-era "Spider-Man" films, Peter Parker generated his webs from his own body instead of pressurized web-shooters he designed himself and wore. In the comics, however, it had always been the mechanical web-shooters, and for the most part, no one really had a problem with it. So for no real reason, Marvel decided to greenlight the story "Changes," in which a new villain by the name of The Queen kisses Spider-Man and makes him slowly transform into a giant spider. (Get it? Spider Man!) Once he fully transforms and The Queen prepares to breed with him (seriously), he dies, but then gives birth to a Peter Parker. This time, however, Peter can make webs organically. Cue the music. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl3vxEudif8)

No. 9 - Peter Parker Dies (Ultimate Spider-Man)

Issues: "Ultimate Spider-Man" (2nd Series) #155-160 (2011)

For those unfamiliar with comics, there are basically two types in the Marvel Universe: the traditional ones that date back to the beginning (more or less) and the Ultimates. Ultimate comics are essentially a rebooted version of the traditional in a more modern setting. Therefore, they can switch things up however they see fit for a newer generation of readers. However, new to the comic books scene or not, most know Spider-Man to be Peter Parker. When the Ultimate version of Peter Parker was killed in battle with the Green Goblin, regardless of the story being good or not, it got under a lot of people's skin that he was replaced by 13-year-old Miles Morales for the foreseeable future. Now, since it was just the Ultimate version, not that big of a deal, right? But ...

No. 8 - Ben Reilly

Issues: "Web of Spider-Man" (1st Series) #117-129, "The Sensational Spider-Man" (1st Series) #0-11, "The Amazing Spider-Man" (1st Series) #394-418, "Spider-Man" #51-75, "The Spectacular Spider-Man" (1st Series) #217-240, "Spider-Man Unlimited" (1st Series) #7-14 (1994-1996)

... try this story on for size. The man on the right in this picture is Peter Parker. The man on the left is Ben Reilly. Both of these men are indeed Spider-Men. But imagine we told you that Peter was, in fact, a clone of Ben, and that Ben was the true Spider-Man. Now, imagine you'd been reading Spider-Man comics since the '60s and we sprung this on you out of nowhere. Now, imagine we didn't tell you this, but Marvel comics did, and they expected you to welcome this "Clone Saga" with open arms. Obviously, such audacity didn't go over quite so well, and, long story short, Ben was killed off and everything was put back to normal. For a more detailed description, swing on over here.

No. 7 - Cyborg Parents

Issues: "The Amazing Spider-Man" (1st Series) #386-388 (1994)

Back in issue 365 of this same series, Peter Parker's parents, who happened to be undercover secret agents his whole life, came back into the series after a long absence and seemed to be there to stay. Then, when Marvel decided they wanted to get rid of them, they decided, "Eh, let's just make them robots sent by the Chameleon to try and figure out Spider-Man's secret identity." Or at least, we imagine that's how much thought went into this story. It's essentially Spider-Man as told by M. Night Shyamalan. You gotta really hang in there until the end to be disappointed.

No. 6 - Fast Cars and Loose Women

Issues: "The Amazing Spider-Man" (1st Series) #130 & 131

Sounds pretty awesome, doesn't it? We'll admit, we just put that as a title to hook you, and because "Aunt May Marries Doctor Octopus While Spider-Man Drives Around in a Wall-Crawling Bug-Mobile" sounds corny. But alas, this is what fans were dealt. So many things about both of these storylines are mind boggling that we're glad they were short-lived. For instance, how would a giant "Spider-Mobile" (as it was called) that can somehow drive up walls and shoot webs benefit the agile Spider-Man in traffic-heavy New York City? Why would sweet old Aunt May fall for a certifiably insane Doctor Octopus (who doesn't even know she's Spider-Man's aunt) who is clearly trying to marry her for a uranium mine she randomly just inherited? Why are we still trying to justify to you why these ideas are terrible?!

No. 5 - Radioactive Semen

Issues: "Spider-Man: Reign" #1-4 (2006)

You know that scene in the movie "Mallrats" where Brodie meets Stan Lee and starts asking him a bunch of inappropriate questions regarding superhero sex organs? This is kind of like that: an answer to a question that no one is actually really thinking and would more than likely be embarrassed to ask if they were. This mini-series is set in a gritty, distant future where an old Peter Parker is thrown back into action in his sixties, and is all the while distraught by the death of his lady love, Mary Jane, to cancer. But what caused the cancer, and what makes the entire terrible story even more ludicrous, is the fact that Peter himself caused the cancer from years of pumping MJ full of his radioactive, um, fluids. Luckily, the story isn't canonical, and thank God. Changes to a character like the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man that are this dark and twisted should be left in the creepy heads of whoever the hell thinks of them.

No. 4 - Gwen Stacey + Green Goblin = Ewwwww

Issues: "The Amazing Spider-Man" (2nd Series) #509-514 (2004 & 2005)

After promising ourselves we'd never, ever start a sentence this way ...

Speaking of semen, the "Sins Past" storyline counted on it heavily in order to not only make a story, but simultaneously tarnish the good name of Gwen Stacey, one of the most beloved Spider-Man characters of all time, in the worst possible way. As it turns out, before being killed by the Green Goblin all those years ago, she was secretly getting doinked and impregnated with fraternal twins by him. Long gone are the days of the Comics Code Authority indeed (only our second nerd reference). Anyway, the twins were then genetically altered to accelerate in age quicker so that they could be adults and go after Spider-Man for killing their mother. Seriously, it makes no sense to continue, because the story ultimately went nowhere and was just another unfortunate misstep of many in the Spider-Man mythos.

No. 3 - Spider-Man Reveals His Secret Identity

Issues: "Civil War" #2 (2006)

Yeah, this sounds like a really smart idea, considering the fact that he's refrained from doing this for the last, let's say, his entire career in order to protect the ones closest to him. And wouldn't you know it, soon after this brilliant plan (more details in the next slide), his dear sweet Aunt May is shot and nearly killed, all setting up the event that rocked the history of Spider-Man as we knew him.

No. 2 - Reset Button

Issues: "The Amazing Spider-Man" (2nd Series) #544 & 545, "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man" #24, and "The Sensational Spider-Man" #41 (2007 & 2008)

The story was called "One More Day." It is regarded by many as one of the worst things to happen to Spider-Man in the history of Spider-Man. In a nutshell, the villain known as the Kingpin sends a sniper to pick off Peter Parker after he has revealed his secret identity to the world. The sniper hits Aunt May instead. Rather than letting the feeble old woman die like she probably should have years ago, Peter and Mary Jane decide to make a deal with Mephisto (the Marvel Universe's Devil, more or less) to erase their marriage in exchange for Aunt May's life. This was done basically because Marvel's editor-in-chief, Joe Quesada, never liked Peter Parker being married. So basically, one man's greed erased years of storytelling. That's worth ruining things for millions, right? Again, more details can be found here.

19. Bewitched

What could go wrong when you cast Will Ferrell opposite Nicole Kidman in a remake of a '60s TV show? Pretty much everything. It's like a "Saturday Night Live" sketch but with less story.

18. A Night at the Roxbury

Speaking of "Saturday Night Live" sketches, I didn't really like "Night at the Roxbury" when it was three minutes long, so you can imagine my pain at sitting through an 82-minute version. 

17. Superstar

OK, maybe I just don't like "Saturday Night Live." You could argue that and you wouldn't be completely wrong, but I think it's more that I don't like movies that don't have plots.

16. Land of the Lost

"Land of the Lost" was just weird. And not in a funny type of way. It also constitutes Ferrell's biggest box office flop, costing $100 million to make (not counting marketing) while only bringing in $68 million. Woof.

15. Casa de Mi Padre

Great if you want to READ your movies. Also, "Casa de Mi Padre" fits into a category I just made up called "Netflix queue cloggers." That is, a movie you instantly put into your queue but never get around to watching. (Mostly because you have to read it.)

14. Blades of Glory

"Blades of Glory" proves that Jon Heder as anyone besides Napoleon Dynamite pretty much sucks. I know a lot of people (especially my stupid friends; yeah, I'm talking about you, Carl) liked it, but to me it's one of those movies where the jokes seem to be aimed at 7th graders. I like my comedy to strive for at least 8th grade levels. 

13. Melinda and Melinda

It's a Woody Allen movie, so it's a lot like a Woody Allen movie and, for me, Woody Allen movies land in the Woody Allen movie range of goodness: The middle.

12. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

In terms of movies where Will Ferrell acts like Will Ferrell always acts, this is one of the worst. It might stem from my hatred/fear of all things white trash (hits too close to home), but I just didn't find "Talladega Nights" to be as entertaining as the rest of the world.

11. Kicking and Screaming

"Ladybugs" meets "The Mighty Ducks" meets "Dodgeball." Not a terrible brew.

10. Winter Passing

Sure Zooey Deschanel is annoying and this is one of those movies that's going to make you "feel things" but it's got a "Garden State" vibe to it and, eff you, I like "Garden State."

9. The Other Guys

"The Other Guys" is about two cops (Ferrell and Marky Mark) who are not very good cops but end up being pretty good cops. No spoiler alert on that one because if you didn't see that coming you probably can't read anyway. Unoriginality aside, Ferrell is just the right levels of neurotic and weird to be pretty hilarious. 

8. Semi-Pro

As an ex-basketball player, I get "Semi-Pro." I get the jokes, I get the setting, and most of all, I get Will Ferrell's surprisingly well-done portrayal of a professional basketball player. Semi-Pro always gives me a semi-semi.

7. Step Brothers

You're going to yell at me for not having this higher up in the list but, to be fair, look at the competition it has. "Step Brothers" is the pinnacle of the Will Ferrell/John C. Reilly dynamic and while at worst it can be a little annoying ... at best, it's classic Will Ferrell.

6. The Campaign

I think "The Campaign" scores so highly on my list because my expectations were so very medium. I can't tell you why this was (maybe I had just watched "The Hangover II") but I greatly underestimated the greatness of a Ferrell/Galifianakis showdown.

5. Everything Must Go

By FAR the most depressing movie on this list, but don't let that keep you from seeing it. It's another "Netflix queue clogger" but unlike most Will Ferrell movies, this one makes you feel feelings other than laughter and raw sexuality.

4. Old School

I love this movie. It's one of those that I could watch anywhere and at any time. I think it's because I didn't have any fun in college and I'd love to do it again. But even if you aren't a sadsack like me, you'll enjoy it because ... funny.

3. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

"Number 3?!? Matt, did you get high this morning? Or are you just incredibly stupid?" That's what you're saying right now. "Anchorman" is probably the funniest movie with the best cast on this list, but that still just lands it at number three. Direct all hate mail to bballdude69@geocities.com.

2. Elf

Nostalgia is a powerful thing. Christmas movies make me remember my childhood, when I would play games with my brothers next to the fire, open heaps of presents on Christmas morning and my parents still talked to each other. This is probably why "Home Alone" and "Christmas Vacation" are both in my top three movies of all time and why "Elf" lands here at #2.

Click here for more very creepy OK Cupid profiles.

And here for our epic OK Cupid trolling article.

You are a model and an actress, but which profession do you prefer?

It's hard to pick one over the other because to be a great model you have to act and be in character. That's what really sets you apart. I would say I prefer acting, though, because there are no set rules.
 

You are involved with several charitable causes and awareness programs, one of them being anti-bullying. Why is this subject so important to you?

It has always been important to me because of my experiences growing up. The key is to have confidence in who you are and be willing to stand up for what you believe in. Don't follow the crowd; celebrate our differences and what makes us unique. I feel this is a message that needs to be heard and finally the last few years people are no longer looking at bullying as a right of passage through school. Instead, they are realizing the serious side effects, and I'm glad attention is finally being payed to this cause!

What's the greatest reward from working with so many students in your philanthropic efforts?

The greatest reward of all is when I have an affirmation that I am making a difference in their lives. I have received letters from students or been contacted by teachers saying that a student has come forward about an incident because they finally felt comfortable to. Knowing that in some way I can make a positive difference, even if it
is in the life of one, is the reason I have pursued the career I have.

What are some of the major objectives of the Model Alliance? Why do models need an alliance?

I'm so proud of Sara Ziff for making these huge strides in the modeling industry! One of the main objectives for the Model Alliance is to bring fair and ethical labor rights to working models. We want to make sure that every model is working in a safe and professional environment. The Alliance is something that has been needed for a very
long time because the industry has been so unregulated and unfortunately there are a lot of things that should not be happening in any sort of
work environment. You look through magazines and see advertisements on a daily basis but do you ever wonder what that model has experienced
to capture that one image? A great documentary that Sara did prior to launching the Model Alliance is called "Picture Me." It is available on Netflix and I encourage anyone interested in the fashion and modeling industry to watch it. Log on to www.modelalliance.org for more information.

Okay, so we know you love to model and act, and that you're a passionate activist. What are some of your other hobbies?

Some of my favorite hobbies are traveling, painting, writing, reading and watching a great film!

This one's a two-parter: favorite sports teams and guiltiest pleasure. Go!

The Indianapolis Colts (I am from Indiana) and the New York Giants, and cupcakes!!!

What are your favorite Twitter accounts that you follow?

Three of my favorites are @FashionweekNYC, @HarryJoshHair and @Epic_Women.

Also, follow Brittany Mason on Twitter.

Tell us three things you can't live without.

Bio-Oil, a great book, and not to sound cliche, but my cell phone. I don't know how anyone can live without that nowadays.

Nikki admitted people treat her differently when they find out she's a Playmate.

Related: Some very sexy Instagram girls.

Nikki's secret talent is...eating. "I'll out eat you! Steaks, sushi, pasta, you name it, I'll eat it."

Check out other hot blondes on Mandatory.

Owen Wilson (2005 and 2013)

Between you and me (and Dupree, of course), we're pretty sure Owen Wilson has found some sort of fountain of youth, because he hasn't seemed to have gotten any older since his "Shanghai Knights" days. But then again, maybe his surfer hair is the key to it all, like Sampson. Think about it, he hasn't cut it since the early 2000s. Coincidence?

John Stamos (1987 and 2013)

John Stamos recently did a reunion show with his 1990s band, "Jessie & the Rippers." We gotta say, he looks like he may have come to the show straight out of a time machine, outfit and all.

Mario Lopez (1990 and 2013)

Although he now uses his muscles to hold a microphone for various hosting gigs, as opposed to bench pressing nerds on "Saved by the Bell," he still looks as in-shape and youthful as ever more than 20 years later.

Morgan Freeman (2002 and 2012)

If someone were to say "Name an actor who looks like he is perpetually 60 years old," odds are that 99% of people would say Morgan Freeman. But at the same time, who would ask such a strange question in the first place?

Elijah Wood (2002 and 2013)

These photos are roughly 11 years apart. So why does it look like all he's done in the interim is get a haircut?

Mark Wahlberg (1998 and 2013)

Besides the goatee, there is absolutely nothing different about the men in these two pictures. Oh, and the fact that one is from 15 years ago.

Samuel L. Jackson (1996 and 2012)

Samuel L. Jackson is in his mid 60s. So, A) why does he look like he is in his 50s? and B) why does he even sometimes look older in photos taken at least 15 years ago?

Patrick Stewart (1987 and 2013)

Along with his trademark voice, Patrick Stewart also has a trademark look. And neither have changed in over 25 years.

Tobey Maguire (2000 and 2013)

He played a teenage Peter Parker in "Spider-Man" back in 2002. Our stance is that he could play a teenage Peter Parker now if he really wanted to and we'd have no qualms about it whatsoever.

Ewan McGregor (1999 and 2012)

What better way to show how an actor has not only seemed to not age over a period of 13 years, but perhaps looks even younger than with a really slobby picture of them from 1999? We surely couldn't think of one, so enjoy.

Jerry O'Connell (1995 and 2013)

For a guy who changed so drastically from being the pudgy kid in "Stand by Me," Jerry O'Connell sure hasn't seemed to age much, or look all that much different for basically his entire adult life. Case in point, his "Sliders" days to now.

Jim Carrey (1994 and 2013)

Apparently, it isn't just the comedy of Jim Carrey that is immortal.

Seth Green (2002 and 2012)

It's hard to believe that Seth Green is 39 years old. That being said, it's even harder to believe that he hasn't been 39 since at least 2002.