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The Worst Fake Photoshop Girlfriends

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The 10 Weirdest New Animals Discovered This Century

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Say Goodbye to 'Dexter' with the Lovely Jennifer Carpenter

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10 More Underrated Old School Indie Rock Songs

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A few months ago we gave you a gigantic list of 100 Underrated Indie Rock Songs. Well, we left quite a few important gems off that list. So here's 10 more old school indie rock jams that will either take you down memory lane, or introduce you to a song/band that might change your life forever (I take my indie rock very seriously.) If you have Spotify, you can listen to the song embeds, or you can access the whole playlist here. Otherwise, click the name of the song to watch it on Youtube.

1. Thalassocracy - Frank Black

As a card-carrying indie rock fan, I, of course, know every Pixies song by heart and have an enduring love for them that is deeper than the love I feel for most family members. When they broke up, I took it pretty hard. But when I saw the world premiere of Frank Black's "Los Angeles" on MTV's 120 Minutes I didn't give a shit about the Pixies anymore. Well, to be clear, I didn't care that they had broken up as much as I had before seeing Frank Black ride around on a hovercraft to the back drop of some amazing combination of shoegazer heavy metal. Even though Black Francis was dead, Frank Black looked like he was alive and very fucking well. It was all so clear in my teenage brain at that moment. As a huge fan of the Breeders first album (1991's Pod), it seemed like The Pixies turned one awesome indie rock band into two. That's a win for everyone, right? So, the next week I confidently drove the 65 miles to Lexington, KY to the record store (remember those?) that was selling Frank Black's first album the day it was released and put my hard-earned busboy money down. As I drove home and listened it, it dawned on me that, no, this wasn't good. This wasn't what I wanted at all. Sure, "Los Angeles" was awesome, but the rest was...uhh, sucky. Oh no. OH FUCK! I was hurt. I felt betrayed by Frank. He teased me with "Los Angeles" and then took it all away. So I stopped listening to him. When "Teenager of the Year" came out the following year to rave reviews I didn't even buy it. Kind of unheard of for 1994 me. Recently I came across this album and I just want to say, I'm sorry Frank. Teenager of the Year is an amazing album and the second song, "Thalassocracy" is one of those I've been playing very loudly on repeat. I also have to Google its spelling every single time I type it out (I'm not very smart.)


2. Tell Me What You Want - Human Television

This is a good song by a band that not enough people have heard of. Now you've heard of them. I am doing the lord's work here.


3. This is How It Feels - Inspiral Carpets

If you're British, you're probably saying something like "Underrated? Blimey, this song was number one for 10,000 weeks straight, mate. Now make us some tea." But if you're American, you're probably saying something like "Inspiral whatnow? I have diabetes." Since we live in America, this is going on the list.


4. This World Is Not My Home - His Name Is Alive

The problem with telling friends about a band named His Name Is Alive (or with Guided By Voices) is you always have to couch it as "No, they aren't some shitty Jesus band, they just have a weird name." And the name of this song doesn't help either. And let's be honest, they might be the best experimental Jesus rock band ever. What the hell do I know? Don't worry about what I just wrote, just listen.


5. Math - Supernova

All you really need to know about the song are the lyrics "Bein' with you is like math class."


6. Strange Powers - Magnetic Fields

This band has, like, 100,000 songs. If you started listening to them now, you would be dead before you made it through one listen of their catalog. To save your life, I'm letting you know that you should listen to this one first.


7. I'm So Tired - Fugazi

Everyone knows "Waiting Room" but this Ian Mackaye piano ballad on one of Fugazi's final releases is the perfect ender to an epic band's epic career. It's also a nice song that even your mom might like, and you can't say that about many Fugazi songs. I wouldn't fault you if you want to quibble with this song being included on a "old school indie rock" list. But here we are.


8. Sturdy Wrists - Rocket From The Crypt

RFTC once claimed that Interscope paid them $70 million to sign. While I'm guessing that's not entirely "true," it does make me "like them a lot more for trolling record labels even back in the 1990s."


9. My Insatiable One - (London) Suede

Sure, Suede were the overly gay version of The Smiths (for the record, Brett Anderson couldn't carry Morrissey's vegan, free range soy-based water), but they had some high points. This is one of them (which Morrissey actually used to do a great cover of live.) (Sorry for all the parenthesis.) (OK, one more: this is the only song I think in the history of the world that has the lyric 'On the escalator we shit Paracetamol' which I think is worth noting.)


10. Williamsburgh Will Oldham Horror - Jeffrey Lewis

If the true definition of indie rock is bedsit nerds singing brainy lo-fi songs with references that require actual reading to comprehend, then someone should turn this song into a flag and fly it over the Indie Rock Headquarters. Anyway, this song is a work of art, with an epic set of lyrics with an even more amazing ending. If I ever meet Jeffrey Lewis I might give him a hug. And not one of those bro-hugs that's basically a handshake with a back pat. I will give him the full embrace that I usually reserve for my mom or the pizza guy.

 

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Hilarious Meme Gallery: Philosoraptor

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South Park: A History of Controversy

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With "South Park" scheduled to return for its 17th season on September 25, 2013 after nearly an entire year off, we realized that the show's absence has not only left us with a major void in the comedy department, but without biting social commentary, as well. Every year, the show's creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone skewer at least a few major events, celebrities, or beliefs of a large group of people, and at least part of the fun is guessing which topics will be tackled next. Moreover, which of the show's digs will end up causing some sort of public outcry has become the other major draw, as certain viewers can be offended by something that seems so minor to most, while obviously offensive subject matter to the majority will slip through the cracks. In this article, we'll attempt to recap as many of the show's major controversies as we can recall, as well as give a few huge examples of jokes that somehow came out on the other side unscathed, even by the overly critical.

Season 1

Obviously we don't plan to go through every season episode by episode, but during "South Park's" first year, it was so fresh, and yet so ludicrous and vulgar to many, that almost every episode was fraught with controversy. It was the perfect template for the many categories of controversy that would become commonplacesouth park sally struthers for the show. From the initial pilot episode, which was panned by most critics as "sophomoric, gross, and unfunny" (Orlando Sentinel), the show couldn't make a move to establish itself and its brand of humor without pissing someone off. Some episodes, like "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride," were criticized for their themes or messages by certain groups before they even aired. Audiences began to realize Jewish jokes would be a recurring theme around "Pinkeye," and celebrities such as Sally Struthers and Barbara Streisand took offense to the way they were portrayed and the shows general sense of humor respectively. "South Park" was even accused of plagiarism by "The Ren & Stimpy Show" creator, John Kricfalusi, for the character of Mr. Hanky, and threatened with legal action by the U.S. Postal Service for use of their logo. But all of that was just the beginning.

Language

Clearly, this show has a potty mouth. In recent years, they've been able to be even more vulgar with their language, as words like "shit" are often allowed depending on the time the episode airs. Since the harsh language has become commonplace for the show by now, most of the time south park, apologies to jesse jacksonit doesn't even draw much attention. When it does, however, it can be a bit baffling. For example, in the Season 5 premiere episode, "It Hits the Fan," where the show said the word "shit" uncensored a record-setting 162 times (200 if you include when it was written), no one seemed to mind. Co-creator Matt Stone's take was "No one cares anymore...The standards are almost gone. No one gives a shit or a bullshit." Yet, in the Season 13 episode "The F Word" (referring to "fag"), reception was much more harsh, as many felt it was used with less tact. Even Season 11's "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson" drew little to no flack for its repeated use of the word "nigger." So as far as the show's language is concerned, it's hard to gauge what will stir the pot and what won't.

Religion

Religion is the hottest button of all hot buttons, "South Park"-related or not. But when the show does mock the beliefs of a certain group of people, it is sure to illicit at least some blowback every time. Even when they aren't so much mocking a religion, but presenting it as-is in episodes such as Season 7's "All About Mormsouth park tom cruiseons" (which resembles their later Broadway musical "The Book of Mormon") or Season 10's "Trapped in the Closet" (which we'll review other aspects of later), they still draw a lot of negative attention from that particular group. Of course, the Muhammad controversy involving showing the prophet uncensored in the shows "Cartoon Wars" set of episodes in Season 10 and "200" and "201" in Season 14 drew the most controversy of all and even resulted in death threats to Parker and Stone from radical Muslim groups. Ultimately, the character was censored, even though the show had already showed him in a Season 5 episode titled "Super Best Friends," which received very little attention at the time.

Politics

Of the top two topics most people steer clear of if they want to avoid an argument, politics would be the other one right behind religion. "South Park" refuses to steer away from any subject, and that is why the show's creators are such great satirists. While most of the time, their views on political issues are met with great praise due to how they handle the subject matter (Season 9's "Best Friends Forever" comes to mind), more often than not they end up upsetting other countries instead of anyone here in the U.S. A perfect example would be the Season 3 premiere, "Rainforest Shmainforest," which upset the Costa Rican government when the Cartman character said it smelled "like ass" and was portrayed as full of prostitutes and other such trashy people. Of course, the observations made were actually just the sentiments of creator Trey Parker after a bad vacation there, but that excuse still didn't fly. Most recently, the show upset Russian LDPR member and Deputy of State Duma Vladimir Dengin after last year's episode "A Scause for Applause" included Jesus wearing a "Free Pussy Riot" t-shirt, which he felt sought to further humiliate the Russian Orthodox Church.

Celebrity Parodies

As mentioned before, often times celebrities are parodied on "South Park." While many are either honored by being roasted by the show or even occasionally humbled by their portrayal, assouth park steve irwin Kanye West claimed to be before interrupting Taylor Swifts acceptance speech at the VMAs mere months after being satirized in Season 13's "Fishsticks" episode, sometimes celebrities take their licks a bit too personally. Obviously, "Closetgate" (which is what the L.A. Times dubbed the controversy and backlash from Season 9's "Trapped in the Closet" episode) is the most highly recognized example of this, as not only did Tom Cruise allegedly get the episode pulled from the airwaves, but it resulted in Isaac Hayes leaving the series for making light of his and Tom Cruise's religion, Scientology. There have been other celebrity beefs as well, including but certainly not limited to evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins being upset about his portrayal "buggering a bald transvestite" in Seasons 10's two-part "Go God Go" story and outcry for the poorly timed Steve Irwin joke in the same season's "Hell on Earth 2006," even though "South Park" wasn't alone.

General Lewdness/Poor Taste

Sometimes, good old-fashioned potty humor and insensitivity can be enough for some to take a cartoon a little too seriously. A few of the more shining examples of such episodes include Season 3's "World Wide Recorder Concert," Season 5's "Proper Condom Use," Season 7's "Krazy Kripples," and Season 12's "The China Probrem," in which fictional character Indiana Jones is shown being physically raped by directors Steven Spielberg and George Lucas to illustrate just how bad Parker and Stone thought the fourth installment in the film franchise was. But in the end, no harm; no foul. However, the Season 9 "Ginger Kids" episode has probably drawn the most flack in this department, as it was partially blamed for inciting young, ignorant bullies to participate in "Kick a Ginger Day" several years after the episode aired.

Legal Action

It can be quite perplexing how "South Park" manages to get away with parodying so much copy written material on a week-to-week basis, but let's just chalk that up to a stellar legal department and a great understanding of fair use laws on their end to save time. But just because they are pretty sly when it comes to this sort of thing, it doesn't mean there haven't been a few instances of legal action brought against the show. Sursouth park imaginationlandely, every "South Park" fan is aware of the massive amount of well-known characters used in their "Imaginationland" saga. Strangely enough, though, it only spawned one lawsuit that ultimately went nowhere. Season 12's "Canada on Strike" was also targeted for a copyright infringement lawsuit due to its recreation of the YouTube video "What What (In the Butt)," but was dismissed as well due partially to the fact that revenue lost could only be measure in Internet dollars, and hence had no commercial value, much like the episode itself joked about.

Creative Integrity/Plagiarism

Last but not least, sometimes controversy derives simply from fans either expecting too much, or more often than not, complaining when something isn't up to par with what they would expect or want it to be. Of course, in the case of the episode "Insheeption," in which creators Trey and Matt actually admitted to lifting dialogue verbatim from a CollegeHumor sketch based on the film "Inception" due to the fact that they believed the dialogue from the sketch was itself lifted from the film verbatim, complaints about expecting more from the show were somewhat justified. However, in most other cases, dating all the way back to Season 1's "Damien" episode in which fans began inexplicably accusing the creators of "selling out," it's just a matter of geeky fanboys being too picky and not realizing the show isn't theirs to critique, as the creators can and will continue to do whatever they please. The same could be said for Season 2's April Fools' Day prank episode "Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus" and Season 4's "Pip." When you read too much into a show that is meant to satirize and make you laugh first and foremost, much like fans did after Season 15's "You're Getting Old," you're bound to cause controversy where there should be none.

 

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Today's Funniest Photos 9-23-13

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How We're Training for Tough Mudder in the Office, Part 3

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Recently, my fellow editor Gary Dudak and I were invited to join the "Degree Men DO:MORE CORPS" team at the upcoming Tough Mudder event in Lake Tahoe on Saturday, September 28, 2013.

Since our time is very limited, we decided to start training around the office. After applying Degree to make sure we'd be protected all day long as we proceeded to push our limits, our intense training began. In this first video, we prepare for the Hold Your Wood challenge.

Make sure you check out Part 1: The Funky Monkey obstacle course here and Part 2: The Boa Constrictor challenge here.

For more on Degree Men and Tough Mudder:

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HeisenBrock - The Breaking Bad Spinoff We Really Want To See

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SPOILERS BELOW

I know we're going to get Better Call Saul as the Breaking Bad spinoff in the coming months, but I think the world would be an even better place if we had HeisenBrock to look forward to. The plot writes itself: a young orphan who's survived a brush with death at the hands of the infamous Heisenberg grows up to assume his place as the head of the southwestern meth empire. Maybe his meth is in the shape of Froot Loops? I dunno, I'm just spitballing here. If Vince Gilligan is reading this, let me know if I should start working on a script.

 

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Laphroaig Live: The Ultimate Live Online Whisky Tasting

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This Thursday, you can raise a glass and enjoy a toast with 2.5 million of your closest drinking pals. Laphroaig Live is an online whisky tasting taking place on September 26, 2013 at 8 PM from Brooklyn, NY. But you don't need to be a Big Apple resident to enjoy the show. As long as you have an Internet connection, you will not be drinking alone.

A panel of experts that includes Laphroaig Master Distiller John Campbell as well as Simon Brooking, Master Ambassador for Laphroaig, will host a 45-minute live stream to sample four whisky expressions that highlight the spirits' strong ties with America.

Drinkers from around the world will have front row seats to join the panel as they taste and discuss the complex flavor profiles of four different Laphroaig blends: Laphroaig Quarter Cask, Laphroaig QA, Maker's 46 and Laphroaig Cairdeas 2013.

Visit laphroaig.com/live to download your own tasting mat (see below) and find out more about this one of a kind cocktail hour.

 

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The Best Autumn Ales of 2013

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The NFL All Criminal Fantasy Team

The Dark Knight Trilogy Villain Guide

Sorry Your Team Lost: NFL Roundup 9-24-13

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Well, week 3 has come and gone. If your team lost, let's take just a moment to examine why this happened and how we can prevent future calamities. It may seem like we're just making fun of them, but it's coming from a place of love. It's constructive criticism.

Philadelphia Eagles
Where on earth did the Chiefs come from? They're now 3-0 while Michael Vick had more turnovers than Andy Reid's continental breakfast plate. Chip Kelly has the Eagles moving fast, but in no real direction. They're like "Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift." This is the kind of things that Eagles fans have come to expect, unfortunately. You'll have huge games where you look like the greatest team in the world, and the next week they'll look like Simon Birch in an arm wrestling tournament.

Arizona Cardinals
Drew Brees just demolished the Cardinals. Arizona, who may have the least intimidating mascot in any sport, took the lead early, but thank to Carson "Here You Go!" Palmer's interceptions, that didn't last long. If the Saints were still doing their bounty program, they would offer more money to not hit Palmer so he could keep throwing interceptions. Somebody get Larry Fitzgerald out of there so his career isn't a complete waste.

Green Bay Packers
I have no problem admitting that I'm a huge Cincinnati Bengals fan, so this one was particularly sweet for me. The Packers had the lead with a little over three minutes left and decided to go for it on fourth and inches. Here's a list of the worst possible scenarios that can happen to an offense when going for it on fourth down:
  • You don't get the first down
  • Your quarterback's arms fall off
  • Zack Morris yells "Timeout!" causing your team to freeze
  • One of the defensive players has a cousin that works for AMC and he whispers "Breaking Bad" spoilers into your running back's ear while he's on the ground.
The worst thing that could happen? You turn the ball over. Not only did the rookie running back fumble, but Cincinnati picked it up and returned it for a touchdown. Green Bay has the same record as Arizona. Wow.

St. Louis Rams
Welcome back St. Louis! Sam Bradford was sacked six times, including four in the first half. Their offense was worse than the one that tried to convict Kobe Bryant in 2003. On top of that, Tony Romo put up three touchdowns, but that's what we've come to expect from Romo. He'll have monster games against a garbage team like St. Louis in games that don't really matter, but if it was a game they had to win to get into the playoffs he would have six interceptions, four fumbles, and one play where he brought his lunch onto the field and starting eating a sandwich instead of throwing a pass.

Minnesota Vikings
After the Browns got rid of the one good player on their awful team, Trent Richardson, everyone assumed the rest of the season would be a series of horrible losses. Apparently Minnesota didn't get that memo. In what could only be described as humiliating, Minnesota lost a game that saw Jordan Cameron leading either team in scoring. Never heard of Jordan Cameron? Join the rest of America. You know who did know Jordan Cameron's name? The jerk I played in fantasy football this week. I guess the enticement of seeing Brian Hoyer take over as quarterback for the Browns was the push he needed to stick Cameron into his lineup. I hate fantasy football so much. Glad I paid $100 to scream at Brian Hoyer.


San Diego Chargers
It must be so frustrating being a Chargers fan. You knock off a high powered Eagles offense last week, lose a tight game to the Texans the week before, and then drop a close one to the Titans? Maybe it's time for the Chargers to pull a Cleveland and clean house. Antonio Gates was great a decade ago, they haven't had a decent run game since Ladainian Tomlinson left for the Jets where hopes and dreams go to die, and Philip Rivers' biggest contribution to the NFL is this picture:



On the bright side, at least San Diego still has the Padres.....

Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The Bucs are so forgettable, I actually forgot to write about them last week. Josh Freeman went from a promising, young quarterback to counting down the days until unemployment. They have all the talent in the world but still find a way to be completely awful. They're like the cast of "Dads." This week, it was the Patriots tearing them apart in what will only be one of many huge losses for Tampa. Look on the bright side, Tampa fans, at least hurricane season is almost over so your home won't get demolished by God. That's a plus, right?

Washington Redskins
The Redskins were defeated by the ground this week. RG3 threw a beautiful pass to Aldrick Robinson who couldn't hold on after a vicious hit by...the ground. Later, during a key drive, RG3 was trying to make something happen but instead of sliding like a normal quarterback, he tried to go head-first at the end of a run which meant the ball was still alive and his fumble meant the end of the Redskins day. I'm actually happy for plays like this because quarterbacks get to do whatever they want and there are no consequences. They're like hot girls in a club. They can dance on the tables, grind on the stage, but if you touch them, get ready to pay for it. No more velvet rope for you, RG3.

New York Giants
The Giants are now 0-3 but thankfully for Eli Manning, all the players still get ice cream after each game. Eli had 119 yards and one interception so for all of you Eli defenders, enjoy. David Wilson got a few more carries than usual, but nowhere near what he should be getting. We get it Tom Coughlin, you're so cool because you're in charge. Why don't you stop being an idiot and start balancing your offense instead of punishing a young, promising running back who had one bad game? If the Giants get tired of him and he loses his job, at least he'll still have a position as the banker in Harry Potter.



Houston Texans
Let's be honest, Matt Schaub isn't that good. As fantastic as the Texans' defense is, there's little they can do when the offense is more eager to give the ball away than a registered sex offender on Halloween. Arian Foster went from dominant to dud almost overnight and Andre Johnson is older than Andy Milonakis, who I'm fairly certain is 67 years old with Benjamin Button disease. The Texans are 2-1 but don't count on that to last long.

San Francisco 49ers
Are the 49ers proving that last year was a fluke? They're now 1-2 and looked completely overpowered by the Colts who added Trent Richardson 15 minutes before the game so he was definitely familiar with the offense. It's a shame all of the bandwagon fans who jumped on last year already have to find another team to cheer for. Luckily they still have the New York Yankees and the Miami Heat.

Atlanta Falcons
If you asked me ten years ago who I'd rather have as a starting quarterback between Ryan Tannehill and Matt Ryan I'd have no idea who you were talking about because they were teenagers at that time. However, if you asked me a week ago I would take Matt Ryan every day of the week. Who would have thought that the Dolphins would be 3-0 while the Falcons are stumbling like Walt Jr. trying to do the Electric Slide on a trampoline? I hope the Falcons don't finish with a losing record because that's a terrible way for Tony Gonzalez to end his illustrious 240-year career.


Jacksonville Jaguars
Was anyone surprised the Seahawks won this game? At this point instead of betting on the Jags to win a game you could just tie your money to a brick and toss it into the nearest open body of water. On the bright side, at least Maurice Jones-Drew had a touchdown. The easiest job in the world has to be the guy who repaints the Jaguars endzone after a game. Be sure to check your email tomorrow morning because you might be Jacksonville's quarterback next week!

Pittsburgh Steelers
Hahahaha the Steelers are now 0-3. The only way that could make this any more enjoyable is if every time Pittsburgh had a turnover, Hines Ward was forced to eat a live rat. Steeler Nation is currently located directly south of Cleveland in the division and don't expect that to change anytime soon. They look terrible, despite Antonio Brown having a great game, but with the Vikings, Jets, and Raiders coming up soon there may be a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Nope, not a light, just Hines Ward eating another live rat.

Oakland Raiders
Well here's an outcome that literally everyone predicted. What idiot thought it would be a good idea to put the Raiders on a national platform? Relatives of the players don't even watch the game, so why would a guy in Roanoke, Virginia? Peyton Manning now has one more touchdown than Tom Brady did the year he broke the single-season passing TD record. Is there anything Peyton Manning can't do besides buying a fitted hat without having it custom made to fit an oversized hard boiled egg?

 

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Kids Getting Hilariously Injured: A GIF Collection

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Today's Funniest Photos 9-24-13

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Man Adds Flamethrower To Wheelchair

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Man Attached Flamethrower to Automated Wheelchair

Every wheelchair needs the basics: a comfortable chair, two wheels and a flamethrower that can spit out a 35-foot flame. Wait...what?

Lance Greathouse of Phoenix, AZ spent a month and about $1,000 on this contraption. He wanted to build something that allowed wheelchair users to express more personality. Looks like he accomplished that goal.

Greathouse calls this fire-spewing beast "The Lord Humongous." The customized chair is made up of pieces from an electric golf cart, a helicopter seat, all terrain tires and old dental machines.

While wheelchairs are his passion, Greathouse has a day job as a dental equipment engineer. His interests in unique wheelchair design was sparked by an appearance on the BBC2 show "Robot Wars." Greathouse has been able to donate some of his more interesting wheelchair designs and hopes to continue to do so in the future.

 

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Jacinta Rokich Alone in the Bedroom

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Why Are Trey Stone and Matt Parker Smack Talking Penn Jillette?

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In this video that made it's way online today, South Park creators Trey Stone and Matt Parker discuss one of magic comedy's most famous duos, but manage toconfuse which one Penn is and which one Teller is. Apparently, Penn is the evil one. Or at least he really wants to be.

You can actually help Penn Jillette in his quest to be the bad guy by supporting him in his Fund Anything campaign to make his next movie, "Director's Cut."

 

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10 War Heroes Who Faked It

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