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Vera Eremeychuk Could Be the Best Russian Import Since Vodka


What the Hell Are the Rules in the CFL?

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The above video is a few years old, but it is so baffling that it has to be shared in case you haven't seen it. It is the ending of a game between the Montreal Alouettes (coached at the time by current Chicago Bears coach, Marc Trestman) and the Toronto Argonauts, and somehow Montreal ends up winning. I have no idea how. The Canadian Football League is insane.

h/t The Daily Upper Decker

 

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A Bunch of Strange Facts About What You're Wearing

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Strange Facts About What You're Wearing
Did you know that boat shoe soles were modeled after dog paws to keep you from slipping on wet surfaces? Did you also know that your socks absorb nearly half a liter of sweat every day? Yes, that's kind of gross. But that's just a couple of the odd, amazing, gross and cool facts you'll learn from watching this video.

You'll never look in your closet (or at your dog) (or at your socks) the same way again.

 

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Cindy Crawford Cleans Your Crib

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There's nothing worse than spending all night impressing a woman just to watch her cringe at the site of your bachelor pad when you think you've sealed the deal. Trust me, my mattress is on the floor, so I know the cringe weMIAMI, FL - DECEMBER 03:  Cindy Crawford attends Art Miami  on December 3, 2013 in Miami, Florida.  (Photo by Larry Marano/Getty Images for Art Miami)ll. So for those whose New Year's resolution is to shape up their home, I asked Cindy Crawford - the ultimate dream girl - how us guys can live up to her standards. Crawford has a furniture line and she pulled up to an Art Miami VIP party in an all-new Maserati Quattroporte GTS, so she knows a thing or two about style. Thankfully, she's here to help. Here's a helpful Q&A with the wonderful Cindy Crawford.

What's the most important thing a single guy should have in his home?
Clean sheets.

How about furniture? Guys tend to hang on to stuff from college a bit too long, right?
Yeah, that's probably a thing to note. I love leather. I think leather is masculine and also very durable, so I'm a fan of leather sofas. Overall, though, I think, just keep it simple.

So should a guy get rid of the sports memorabilia and video game paraphernalia?
If it could all be relegated to one closet or one shelf, that would be good.

Speaking of closets, what should a guy have in there to look sharp?
Age appropriate. Some guys tend to hang on to their T-shirts with cut-out armholes from back in the day. I think women appreciate when it looks like a man at least puts a little thought and care into what he wears.

How about art on the wall? What makes good bachelor pad art?
I could give a funny answer, but the real answer is that you have to choose art that speaks to you and not to impress. If you love something then that is what you should have on your wall. I don't believe in purchasing art for investments or as a statement. Even if it's something that you find at a flea market or something that is by a well-known artist, because then if someone says 'oh, what's this painting?' you have a story. You have a passion behind it that you can share with whoever is noticing it.

Tell me about this Cindy Crawford art.
These photographs are all of me by Marco Glaviano. He's a photographer I've worked with a lot back in the day. He did all my swimsuit calendars, so a lot of these images are from the swimsuit calendar and a couple of the others are from Italian Vogue.

So if a guy wanted to hang one of these over his bed, that's a good look?
Well, I think as long as the lady approves it. Maybe not the butt ones, but one of the friendly face ones, how about that?

MIAMI, FL - DECEMBER 03:  Cindy Crawford  attends Art Miami Pavilion on December 3, 2013 in Miami, Florida.  (Photo by Larry Marano/Getty Images for Art Miami)
Pictured: Cindy Crawford poses in front of her photo at the CC Lounge during Art Miami's VIP Preview Opening Night. (Credit: Getty Images)

 

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16 Reasons Dogs Are Awesome

The 12 Drinks of Christmas

The 10 Biggest Social Media Fails of 2013

The Worst Bootleg Toys of All Time


Honest Kids Test Answers and Notes Are Always Hilarious

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Kids don't pull any punches. That makes them more honest than 99 percent of the people I know. It also makes for some hilarious test answers and notes. Here are some of our favorites.


honest kid answers

 

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Animals vs Babies: A Hilarious GIF Collection

My Friend's Grade School Drawing of His Mailman May or May Not Have Led to a Molestation Investigation

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The below picture is a drawing my friend sketched in grade school. It's supposed to be a detailed rendering of his childhood mailman. It was prompted by a routine drawing exercise that the entire class participated in. As you can see, he got a little carried away with one particular part of his mailman's body. I'll let him take it from here:

I'm not entirely clear on the details, but yes, I was asked to draw the mailman, and they told us to make the drawing as detailed as possible. I don't know if child services was called or if there was just an investigation by the school, but yes, the obvious implication was that the mailman was delivering more than just Highlights magazines.

Basically, there was a serious conversation had with my parents, who had a serious conversation with me, and determined that the mailman was not showing me his dick. Sorry I don't have more details on this. But they definitely did not fire the mailman.


Take a look at the photo and judge for yourself what happened.




In any case, I'm hoping this post jogs some horrible repressed memories in my friend. Then we'll finally know the answer.

 

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Today's Funny Photos

There Is Nothing Dowdy About Leilani Dowding

Sarai Givaty Is an Israeli Hottie

Guy Dresses Up Like Real Estate Agent Ads. Is Awesome.

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I didn't know who Phil Jones was before today, but I like him a lot now. Mostly because he did these photos of himself dressing up and posing like Minneapolis-area real estate agent head shots and posted his version on their ads. And, why not? He's also a designer, so if you need a designer, we highly recommend hiring him. We like his style.

Hat tip: Imgurhttp://imgur.com/a/pR5aR

 

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Dee Dwyer Gets Sexy in the Sand

The Golden Girls as Raiders Fans

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It can't be easy being an Oakland Raiders fan, as the franchise continues to suffer through one losing season after another. Although the blame for this is divided among Al Davis, the tuck rule and Darren McFadden's constant injuries, Raider Nation itself remains united, strong, and a little insane. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the "Black Hole," a section of the Oakland Coliseum where maniacal fans dress in black and silver garb that looks like weaponry. So naturally this got us thinking, what if the Golden Girls were a part of this fan base? Here are Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia as Oakland Raiders fans.

golden girls as raiders fans, dorothy golden girls raiders fangolden girls as raiders fans, rose golden girls raiders fangolden girls as raiders fans, blanche golden girls raiders fangolden girls as raiders fans, blanche and sophia raiders fansgolden girls as raiders fans

 

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Kids Crying On Santa's Lap

Sorry Your Team Lost: NFL Roundup Week 15

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DENVER, CO - DECEMBER 12:   Peyton Manning #18 of the Denver Broncos thows a first quarter pass under pressure from Kendall Reyes #91 of the San Diego Chargers at Sports Authority Field at Mile High on December 12, 2013 in Denver, Colorado.  (Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images)
Well, week 14 has come and gone. If your team lost, let's take just a moment to examine why this happened and how we can prevent future calamities. It may seem like we're just making fun of them, but it's coming from a place of love. It's constructive criticism.

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Denver
Denver lost to San Diego because Wes Welker was out and you can't expect Peyton to pull out a win with only 5 good wide receivers. If I were Peyton Manning, anytime a reporter asked me about my struggles in a game I would respond with, "Yeah, sorry I threw that interception. Did I mention that my neck was so messed up they had to fuse it together like a robot in 'Pacific Rim' less than two years ago? Next question."

New England
There's nothing funnier to me than seeing Tom Brady throw an interception to lose a game. You know he plays it cool, but as soon as he walks into the locker room he starts throwing bottles of Evian water everywhere. I bet he goes home, locks himself in the bathroom, and angrily applies various gels and putties to his illustrious hair for hours while mumbling curse words under his breath.

Cleveland
No team can blow a lead like the Cleveland Browns. There's no way Josh Gordon wants to sign a long-term contract with this team. He's responsible for approximately 9,000 yards over the past five weeks, but his team still finds a way to lose. What if Josh Gordon holds a nationally televised press conference then announces he's signing with the Miami Dolphins? The citizens of Cleveland would march like Revolutionary War soldiers down to Florida and declare war.

Washington
Does Mike Shanahan just hate his job? He benched RG3 for the year, you know, because he needs to be healthy in case an NBA team picks him up next month. Now, his team gets a touchdown with just seconds left at the end of the game, he decides to go for two instead of taking it to overtime. Rumors have it that he went for it so the game would be over because he's a big "Homeland" fan and wanted to make sure he was home in time to watch it live, avoiding any chance of spoilers.

Philadelphia
The Vikings were missing 80% of their offense on Sunday, since Adrian Peterson was out. Apparently the Eagles did what the rest of the world did, and completely overlooked the Christian Ponder-less Vikings. Minnesota put up 48 points on the shoulders of Matt Asiata who is the 37th string running back for the team. If you don't recognize his name, it's because, before this week, his only NFL accomplishment was completing the tutorial on Madden 09.

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - DECEMBER 15:  Eli Manning #10 of the New York Giants pauses before the huddle in the first quarter against the Seattle Seahawks at MetLife Stadium on December 15, 2013 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
New York Giants
Wait, so you mean to tell me that there are actually people who picked the Seahawks to lose to the Giants this week? There's a better chance of Eli Manning being cast as Othello. Here's a few other roles Eli Manning probably wouldn't be selected for:
  • Man who loves books
  • Any part besides the starring role in a "Simon Birch" prequel
  • Guy who can read above a 6th grade learning level
  • Businessman who doesn't eat cereal for every meal
Jacksonville
I'm sure everyone in Jacksonville and Buffalo had this date circled on their calendar for months. Also under the circle it said, "find something else to do today, because football is dead." There were some points put up, even without Maurice Jones-Drew on the field, but in the end, the real losers were the people unfortunate enough not to have the Redzone Channel and had to watch this game. Don't get me wrong, both teams played hard, but it had as much playoff implications as the time you and your fat cousin Ricky raced down a hill on Razr scooters.

New Orleans
It was bizarro week as Drew Brees was completely shut down. The only thing that ran worse than the Saints' offense was the ObamaCare website. Luckily for the Saints, almost every other division leading team lost this week so no one will notice that Zac Stacy ran over them like Brad Pitt at the beginning of "Meet Joe Black." If you haven't seen that movie in a while, now's a great time to see Brad Pitt bounce off a series of cars like a beautiful pinball machine.

Dallas
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! All the experts want to talk about how great Tony Romo is, and how critics unfairly judge him. This is exactly why the jokes will never stop. It's not that Romo throws interceptions, all quarterbacks do. The problem is that his timing is like a guy who wants to high five you at your dad's funeral. By the way, Romo may not be the best on the field under pressure, but no one is a bigger toddler than Dez Bryant. The last wide receiver that behaved like that ended up doing sit-ups in his front yard hoping a team would sign him.

New York Jets
The Jets lost, which probably wasn't a shock to anyone except Santonio Holmes who said before the game that the Panthers' secondary was the weakest link of their defense. That's a good idea, Santonio. You always want to motivate a defense to play even harder when your quarterback is Geno "At Least I'm Not Mark Sanchez, Right?" Smith. Maybe next week he against the Browns he'll give all of the cornerbacks stilts or make all of his offensive linemen wear blindfolds. Great job, Santonio!

Tennessee
The Titans rallied back from a 17-point deficit, only to lose in overtime. That basically sums up the entire season for the Titans, who are always a threat, but can rarely finish off a game. They're like if "Dexter" was a football team. I know "Dexter" ended months ago, but that show's final season still pisses me off.

Cincinnati
You know how a team will usually lose because of blown coverage or poor throws? The Bengals decided to take a different approach and threw their game away with botched punts and unintentional fair catches. How do you accidentally call for a fair catch? It's like accidentally riding a horse onto the field. "Oh I can't do that? Sorry, I actually forgot I was riding on a horse. This happens at least six or seven times per day, to be honest." Get your life together, Cedric Peerman.

Houston Texans running back Ben Tate sits on the bench during the second half of an NFL football game against the Indianapolis Colts in Indianapolis, Sunday, Dec. 15, 2013. The Colts defeated the Texans 25-3. (AP Photo/Darron Cummings)
Houston
The Texans have lost 12 games in a row. TWELVE games. Maybe Matt Schaub wasn't the problem after all, huh? The fans were so happy to get Case Keenum, whose name sounds like an episode of Scandal, but the results turned out the same. Better luck in 7 years, Texans!

Tampa Bay
Tampa may have lost, but the weirdest moment of the game was when Michael Crabtree missed a pass and, instead of walking back to the huddle, he grabbed the ball and threw it as far as he possibly could. What happened? Did he have the same surgery as Henry Rowengartner from "Rookie of the Year" and can no longer control his arm's strength? Somebody let Daniel Stern know we have a new pitcher for the Cubs!

Detroit
I've tried to defend Matt Stafford as much as possible, but games like that make it tough to justify him. He throws more interceptions than a drunk Tim Tebow. I don't understand how it's possible to throw an interception with Calvin Johnson on your team. You could throw underhand in his direction twelve feet in the air and he'd be the only one who could catch it. The Ravens are now in a wildcard spot so get ready for all those fans who were HUGE Ravens fans during the Super Bowl last year to suddenly remember how much they love their team and start wearing their jerseys again. Welcome back!

 

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35 Very Funny Prank Gifs

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