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Gamblin' With Gary: 1-10-14

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Hello, ol' gamblin' friends. You may have noticed I took a couple weeks off after returning to form with a 3-1 weekend right before the holidays, but don't think I haven't been paying attention to what's been going on. And now I'm back, with my exceptional 21-9-1 record, ready to feed you a couple hot NFL divisional rounSaints Seahawks Footballd picks. These bets are 100 PERCENT GUARANTEED TO MAKE US ALL RICH, and I am willing to share them with you to prove it. I'm putting my money where my mouth is. Feel free to join me.

CAN'T LOSE BET #1

New Orleans at Seattle - OVER 45.5

I have mentioned before that the Saints are one of the biggest under teams in the NFL. Couple this with the fact that they are traveling to Seattle, where they scored just 7 points and got crushed six weeks ago, and you would think I should jump all over the under. But that's amateur stuff. I love betting against trends, and the Seahawks have played in five straight under games on top of everything else. It may also be a little chilly and rainy in Seattle, too. The public is going to be betting hard on this under (watch for the total to drop more before kickoff), so you, my friend, must hammer the over.

CAN'T LOSE BET #2

San Diego at Denver - OVER 54.5

You may remember a certain game in last year's divisional round playoffs played in the same city where the Broncos were supposed to win - should have won - but blew it. Well, that won't happen again, but I do expect the same amount of points to go up (last year's final score was Ravens 38, Broncos 35). A lot of NFL "experts" are going bonkers about the Chargers defense giving Peyton Manning problems simply because they held his offense to 20 points in one of those shitty Thursday night games a few weeks back. They must have forgotten that he's Peyton Manning and has had an extra week to prepare for this game. Denver is going to score a bunch, but their defense is going to give up a lot of points, too. This should be a great afternoon shootout. Take out a loan if you have to, but bet big on this over.

Bonus note: Last year's divisional round games saw the over go 4-0. As you can see, I have picked two overs here. However, I don't have the same amount of confidence in the over in the other two games. This is simply me passing along some information. Take it for what it's worth (millions of dollars).

San Diego Chargers v Denver Broncos

 

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'Pulp Fiction' in Classic Video Game-Style Is Almost as Cool as the Film

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Our friends over at CineFix do some pretty fun work, and their "8-Bit Cinema" series is a prime example of that. As you will see in this "Pulp Fiction" edition, they "gamify" your favorite Hollywood movies into '80s arcade and NES-inspired action. So while Quentin Tarantino's original movie may still be the masterpiece, a Nintendo-style re-creation following the story lines of Jules, Vincent and Butch is still pretty awesome.

 

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Houston Rockets Mascot 'Clutch the Bear' Scares the Hell Out of the Players

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Houston's NBA mascot Clutch the Bear recently set up shop outside of Rockets practice in order to pull off a hilarious prank on the players. As you will see, Clutch was set up before practice to simply look like a lifeless prop, but at 12:30 pm as players were leaving, he sprung to life to scare the hell out of them. Chandler Parsons and Jeremy Lin are the first victims, but Omri Casspi's reaction at the 54-second mark is probably the best. However, if Clutch thought he could frighten Francisco Garcia, he was dead wrong.

Related: The Best Sports Pranks Caught on Video

 

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This Topless GIF of Alexandra Daddario in 'True Detective' Will Make You Watch the Show No Matter What

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The gritty crime drama "True Detective" features two of Hollywood's favorite actors, Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey, and premieres Sunday, January 12 on HBO. But there's another reason why you are going to want to watch (check that, another two reasons), and this topless GIF of actress Alexandra Daddario proves it. The busty, blue-eyed brunette plays Lisa Tragnetti on the series, and hopefully there is a lot of this from her to look forward to.

alexandra daddario, alexandra daddario tits, alexandra daddario true detective

If you are looking for the NSFW uncensored GIF (which is obviously better), I just provided you the way.

 

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Dive Into These Busty Stacey Poole Photos

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Movie lovers know that award season is upon us. The Golden Globes came and went, and soon the Oscars will follow. So what's this have to do with British pin-up Stacey Poole? Well, actors have awards; hell, even porn stars have the AVN Awards. But what do our gorgeous gals from across the pond have? The occasional blurb in Zoo magazine. Where is the outcry for glamour models and their own award shows? Until then, we'll have to be satisfied with sexy pics from Twitter (which is sometimes NSFW). Scroll down and consider a world without glamour models. It would be a sad world, indeed.

Stacey Poole, Stacey Poole sexy photosStacey Poole, Stacey Poole sexy photosStacey Poole, Stacey Poole sexy photosStacey Poole, Stacey Poole sexy photosStacey Poole, Stacey Poole sexy photos

 

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Don't Drink Alcohol? Well, Have Fun Dying

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What are seven words never uttered by our guidance counselors, Alex?

According to a recent study published in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research (not to be confused with The Amy Winehouse Story) and Time, people who abstain from alcohol are more likely to die sooner than those who engage in drinking it, even those who do so in a John Blutarsky fashion.

heavy drinkers outlive non-drinkers

For twenty years, researchers followed 1,824 participants between the ages of 55 and 65 who had some kind of outpatient care in their previous three years, and the results were almost as shocking as the band Train winning multiple Grammys:

69% of those who laid off the sauce died while 60% of the Nick Noltes ate it. However, only 41% of the moderate drinkers met their maker.

So, for the single ladies heading out to the clubs and corner bars this weekend hoping to find a guy to grow old with, maybe it's worth giving the guy at the end of the bar who's passed out in a puddle of his own piss a second look. (via Time)

More drinking stories: The 'Family Guy' Syndication Drinking Game

 

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If You Want to Know What it Felt Like to be Aboard the Sinking Titanic, Pack Your Bags for China

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File this one right next to your Rascal Flatts: Greatest Hits album in the bad taste category.

A Chinese theme park has announced plans to build a $16.3 million life-sized replica of the Titanic, complete with a museum and - wait for it - a shipwreck simulator.

According to Su Shaojun, the chief executive of the project's investment group, the simulator will allow a few hundred people to experience what it was like to be on-board the Titanic that fateful night in April of 1912:

When the ship hits the iceberg, it will shake, it will tumble. We will let people experience water coming in by using sound and light effects. They will think, "The water will drown me. I must escape with my life."

Maybe.

Or...maybe they'll be thinking, "Oh my God! This is horrible! So, this is what it feels like to be dying! I'd rather be at home applying a prescription fungus medicine to my husband's feet! Why did I pay to do this? Getting on this ride was a bad choice!"

Call us crazy, but we're pretty sure the survivors of the real Titanic in the picture below weren't thinking, "You know what's funny? Someday they'll be making an amusement park ride about us."

titanic Chinese theme park ride

The "ride" is expected to open in 2016. No word yet as to whether or not the investment group plans on following it up with a Tiananmen Square Massacre simulator.

(via UPI)

More: People on Twitter Don't Know the Titanic Was Real

 

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17 Very Funny 'Drunk Woman' News Headlines

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Ahhh, drunk women. They really are the best, aren't they? We saw a couple "Drunk Woman"-themed news headline screengrabs on Tumblr and decided to dig a little deeper and find a few more for you because they are just so damn good. Every single one of them tells a story I would like to know more about. But since this is all we have, let's enjoy this collection of hilarious Drunk Woman news headlines.

drunk woman smoking cigarette backwards, funnydrunk woman bites cardrunk woman breast milkdrunk woman cheeseburger shoedrunk woman crapping creperiedrunk woman poo on car defecate copdrunk woman shocked electric fence zoo elephantfox news drunk woman swearing
drunk woman rescue tree house snowstormdrunk woman hold up mcdonald's demanding free breakfastdrunk woman steals ambulance pretty good timedrunk woman impale arms on railingdrunk woman steals ferry jack sparrowdrunk woman makes herself at homefunny drunk woman pants off power wheels truckdrunk woman claim republicandrunk woman stuck treehouse

 

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The Eddie Murphy Characters Last Supper

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