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Celebrities Read Mean Tweets About Themselves

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Jimmy Kimmel has started an amazing video series where A-list huge celebrities read very mean tweets about themselves. Everyone from George Clooney to Bill Murray to Jennifer Garner read the trolling, misspelled trash that Twitter throws their way. Someone needs to make a TV show of just this for a half an hour straight.

 

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The Sky's the Limit for Voluptous Texas Model Erin Skye

This Footage of Toddlers Boxing in 1942 is More Entertaining Than It Should Be

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This video was supposedly shot in Annapolis, Maryland in 1942. I'm not sure if this footage is real or not. I'm leaning towards yes, but maybe that's just because I'm hoping it's yes. Either way, it's both very wrong and entertaining at the same time. Mainly because the toddlers fight like a Mandatory editor would.

 

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Recreating Taco Bell's Waffle Taco At Home

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taco bell, breakfast waffle taco

The geniuses at Mr. Breakfast have just improved your next leisurely home cooked breakfast by 1,000 percent. See, they've figured out a relatively simple way to recreate Taco Bell's Waffle Taco. Here's how you do it.

taco bell, breakfast waffle taco

1. Make yourself the largest circular waffle you can. The bigger, the better. Remember, the goal is to cram a ton of ingredients inside this thing. (Side note: since the waffles can get crumbly, you can use a spatula handle to help hold it all together when you form the crease down the center.)

2. Fry a giant sausage patty until brown and thoroughly cooked. The key here is to make sure it's thin and flexible so it's easier to form into the taco shape. Also keep in mind that it will probably shrink significantly in the cooking process. Mr. Breakfast recommends making your raw patty 50 percent larger than the size you want once it's finished cooking.

3. Scramble some eggs. Two eggs per taco is the recommended serving size.

4. Layer your waffle taco. The order is as is: waffle, sausage patty, eggs, syrup. An ounce of syrup spread across the entirety of your breakfast taco should be just perfect.

5. Eat every morning for breakfast until you have a heart attack.

Here are some more photos to make you drool...


taco bell, breakfast waffle tacotaco bell, breakfast waffle taco

Via Mr. Breakfast

 

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Watch Carlos Boozer Punch A Ref In The Crotch Over And Over Again

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Look, I know this is old, but if you can watch this without laughing, there is something wrong with you. The punch is funny enough in the first GIF, but man, that primal scream as he's punching the ref in his balls in the second GIF gets me every time.

carlos boozer, ref punch, balls
carlos boozer, ref punch, balls

Via LOL GIFs

 

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10 Murderers Inspired by TV Shows

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Drunk People Are Really Good At Yoga Poses

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There's a fine line between a person getting so totally smashed that their body collapses into an awkward heap and a person who is just trying to work on their flexibility. These side by side examples will help clarify which is which. (Hint: the ones not wearing yoga pants are the drunk ones.)

drunk people doing yogadrunk people doing yogadrunk people doing yogadrunk people doing yogadrunk people doing yogadrunk people doing yoga

drunk people doing yogadrunk people doing yogadrunk people doing yoga

 

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Which NHL Team Will Have Its Cup Run Effed The Most By Sochi?

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For most of the planet, the Winter Olympics are a special time when the nations of the world come together in the pursuit of athletic excellence. For hockey fans, it's a nail-biting two weeks when your favorite players head off to foreign lands filled with concussions, broken femurs, and potentially career-ending high sticks never to return again. So which teams' Stanley Cup dreams are most at risk in Sochi? The red-hot Chicago Blackhawks are throwing 10 key players to the wolves, while both Buffalo and Detroit are rolling the dice on their farm team depth by allowing both of their goalies to travel overseas. Here's a look at the other franchises sending a ton of players overseas (we've left off the teams that are only sending three or less players-so, sorry, Toronto and Nashville) to play for the honor of the U.S., Canada, Sweden, Finland, and, um, Slovenia (stick tap, Anze) even if it means trading a ring for a medal.

NHL teams in Sochi

 

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Lloyd Christmas: The True Villain of 'Dumb & Dumber'

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If you're anything like me, you've probably seen the 1994 film "Dumb & Dumber" about a thousand times. Its sequel, "Dumb & Dumber To," is on its way to theaters on November 14, 2014, and I for one can't wait to see it. Here's a recent photo of Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels on set for it:

dumb and dumber to on set, lloyd and harry on deer

Giddy with anticipation already, I put the original in the other day and as it played I made a rather startling discovery. As funny as he may be, the character of Lloyd Christmas is constantly wreaking havoc on both he and Harry Dunne's cross country trip to deliver a briefcase that he so selfishly wants to return in order to potentially make it with Aspen socialite, Mary Swanson. Thus, Lloyd is actually the true antagonist of the film.

While it may seem preposterous to accuse Lloyd Christmas of being the film's villain, I'd like you to hear me out as I narrate you through the story, focusing solely on him throughout the adventure. When I'm finished, you'll discover there are no real redeeming qualities to Lloyd, and that Harry's journey, along with everyone the pair come in contact with, is nearly destroyed by his inconsiderate, self-centered actions.

The movie starts off innocently enough with Lloyd pretending to be a big shot in the back of his limo in order to attract the attention of a sexy Austrian woman at the bus stop, but we very quickly realize that when Lloyd sets his sights on something he truly wants, he will consider no one else in the pursuit of it. That "something" in this case happens to be Mary Swanson, and once smitten, Lloyd carelessly injures and maybe even murders several people through his incredibly reckless driving in order to simply talk to her. To top it off, once at the airport, he causes yet another wreck while looking at Mary, almost killing a pedestrian this time, as well. Of course, he flees the scene immediately once he realizes that Mary left her briefcase behind in the terminal.

mary swanson dumn and dumber explosion

Now, this is merely implied to have happened off-screen, but after Lloyd fails to deliver the briefcase, he attempts to go through it but can't get the lock open. So instead, the wheels start spinning in his head and he realizes he can take advantage of his sweet, loyal, yet slow-witted friend and roommate, Harry Dunne, whom he instantly ridicules, calling him "one pathetic loser" for getting fired that day (even though this has happened to Lloyd often). Harry is clearly the breadwinner of the two, as it is implied through their initial conversation that he spent his life savings on his "Mutt Cutts" van (the alarm alone cost him $200) in order to raise enough funds for their worm store venture -- something it seems only Harry is working hard on.

You'd think all that would be enough for Lloyd to cut Harry some slack, but instead, he blames Harry for not paying the gas bill when armed henchmen show up at their door, and the two slip away to unsuccessfully hunt for new jobs.

lloyd grabs harry, dumb and dumber

Later, after spending the last of their dough on booze, sombreros, and copies of the Rhode Island Slut, Lloyd's utter disrespect for elderly women gets him robbed by one. While most people in this situation would see it as a sign that they need to get their life together, Lloyd sees it as an opportunity. It will now be easier to manipulate Harry into driving him to Aspen, especially once he finds out that Harry's parakeet Petey has passed away, too. So he turns on the waterworks, and sure enough, his plan works and the two are on their way (after screwing over the "gas man" one last time with a poorly worded and misspelled note).

lloyd and harry hug, dumb and dumber

However, it wasn't enough to use Petey's death to his advantage once, so Lloyd went ahead and sold the bird corpse to a blind kid for a couple of bucks to boot. Why not? He Scotch Taped the head back on. What a monster.

pretty bird petey blind kid, dumb and dumber

After stopping at a diner on the way to Aspen and mingling with the "laid-back country folk" there (which consists of calling waitresses "Flo" and laughing hysterically in their faces), Lloyd convinces his poor friend Harry that he should throw salt over his right shoulder to bring them good luck, causing an altercation with truck stop bully, Sea Bass. Instead of fessing up that throwing the salt was his idea, or simply backing his friend up, Lloyd instead narcs Harry out immediately in the face of danger, yet still calls him a wimp after Sea Bass spits in his burger.

lloyd points at harry, dumb and dumber

Being the stand up guy that he is, Lloyd is able to help Harry exact revenge on Sea Bass, but with a very cowardly plan he stole from a movie that got the character's throat slit. Nevertheless, his ill-conceived idea works, but causes Harry to be pulled over for speeding. Harry probably wouldn't be that upset about this if Lloyd wasn't also simultaneously spilling urine all over the interior of his van (seriously, if you look closely during the beer bottle scene, you can see pee flying everywhere as Lloyd switches bottles).

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After a run-in with Joe, the "gas man," whom the movie paints as one of the actual bad guys, Lloyd convinces Harry the best course of action after accidentally murdering him is to, again, flee the scene of the crime, a move that now gets the FBI on the duo's tail.

lloyd and harry kill the bad guy, dumb and dumber

Oblivious as they are, they continue their ever-troublesome journey. Lloyd nearly gets them killed while daydreaming of Mary, and also drives them way off course because he was too busy trying to prank Harry while he slept to pay attention to big, obvious road signs (keep in mind that Harry has driven most of the time and never once bothered Lloyd as he slept). If Harry weren't so misguided, thinking that Lloyd is actually savvy for trading in the van for a pull-string moped, this is where the journey would end. Instead, they continue on to Aspen, with Lloyd making Harry ride bitch the rest of the way.

lloyd and harry ride moped, dumb and dumber

As Lloyd slowly pulls into Aspen while holding up several cars in the process, we realize he made Harry come all this way for a woman he doesn't even know the last name of. The two have to spend the night freezing in the park, and Lloyd eventually reveals to a gloveless Harry that he has been wearing two pairs of gloves the whole time. This leads to Harry finally snapping, and the only thing that saves Lloyd from being beaten to a pulp is the money they discover in the briefcase. So does Lloyd put the money back and continue his search for Mary? Of course not. Instead, he uses it to fund a new lavish lifestyle until randomly stumbling upon her location in the newspaper.

lloyd and harry money, dumb and dumber

From here, Lloyd convinces Harry to butter Mary up to meet him, only Harry accidentally gets forced into a date with her himself. Meanwhile, Lloyd readies himself for a meeting with Mary with blatant disregard for everyone, including women he doesn't care about and sympathetic bartenders, until discovering Harry has actually fallen for and stolen Mary from his grasp. Even though this may seem like foul play on Harry for once, keep in mind that Lloyd has stolen Harry's actual girlfriend in the past. Nevertheless, Lloyd sees this as betrayal rather than a "what goes around comes around" situation.

So sure enough, Lloyd then poisons his best friend, steals back Mary while Harry is incapacitated, and tricks her into coming to his hotel room for the briefcase, even though he has already spent all the money he came all this way to return as her knight in shining armor.

lloyd gets revenge on harry, dumb and dumber

When things finally get real and Mary states that she has no interest in Lloyd and is worried about her kidnapped husband, he quickly puts her neck on the line when ransomer Nicholas shows up, making her reveal at gunpoint that the briefcase is full of IOUs. Harry then arrives, and even though Lloyd now stands no chance with Mary, he would still have no problem throwing their friendship out the window for her. He does eventually come around and offer himself up to be killed, but his true colors show soon after and he encourages Nicholas to kill Harry instead. Harry is then shot and would have been murdered had he not been a decent person whom the cops were willing to save. Finally, Harry attempts to save Lloyd's life, and all Lloyd does in return is tell him what a terrible shot he is before the authorities show up and save the day.

harry gets shot, dumb and dumber

Thus ends the story of "Dumb & Dumber" focused primarily on Lloyd. As you've now hopefully seen, he is by no means a good person. In fact, he's quite the jerk who would sacrifice his best friend, anyone's dignity, and even screw over the very person he says he cares about most if it meant getting what he wants (which he never actually puts much thought into). Seeing as how the "villains" of the film are in it for a combined 20 minutes and even then don't expose themselves as the like until the final 10, it would stand to reason there would need to be a bigger antagonist at work for so much to go wrong. I propose Lloyd Christmas, and leave it to you to make your own judgment from there.

lloyd shooting gun, dumb and dumber

 

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25 Great Moments In "Hold My Beer" History

Today's Funniest Photos

Insane Video of U.S. Troops Kidnapping A Terror Suspect In Under Two Minutes

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This grainy footage is from last October in Tripoli, Libya and shows the capture of Nazih Abdul-Hamed al-Ruqai, an alleged terrorist and close associate with Osama Bin Laden.

Watch as two cars roll up on Ruqai and corner him before jumping out with guns drawn. American Special Operations forces grabbed Ruqai from his car, took him to a Libyan military base and then transported him to an American warship waiting off the coast of the Mediterranean Sea. The arrest was the end of a 13-year hunt and was carried out by the CIA, the FBI and the U.S. Army's elite Delta Force.

This security video was unearthed by The Washington Post's Adam Goldman. According to Goldman's story, Ruqai is alleged to have played a roll in the African embassy bombings in 1998, which resulted in more than 200 deaths.

It's incredible how well the kidnapping was pulled off. This is the kind of stuff you're used to seeing in action movies or on "Homeland." When it's the real deal, it is way more badass.

Via The Washington Post

 

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Virginia Churchgoers Worship in the Nude

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But don't pack up your Chevy S-10 and move across the country just yet. As is usually the case, the nudist churchgoers aren't the people you want to see talking to God wearing only a smile. And naturally, there's at least one dude with a nipple ring.

nude virginia church

A church in Ivor, Virginia is encouraging their members to practice their faith naked as a jaybird. Their reason for doing so, according to Pastor Allen Parker, is quite simple:

Some of the biggest moments in Jesus' life he was naked. When he was born he was naked, when he was crucified he was naked, and when he arose he left his clothes in the tomb and he was naked. If God made us that way, how can that be wrong?

According to WWBT-TV, even in February when the temperatures dip into the low 20's, members of the White Tail Chapel will show up to worship in various forms of nudity. Some go topless, others wear just a T-shirt with nothing between their God and their disco sticks, and the rest show up butt-ass naked:

NBC12.com - Richmond, VA News

Judging from the size of his audience, Pastor Parker shouldn't be expecting too much after passing around the collection basket this time of year. And given that it's been a pretty chilly winter, we'll assume that won't be the only part of the congregation feeling a little short-changed.

Related: A Gallery of Very Odd Church Signs

 

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Student Shows Her Pornhub Bookmarks on Live News Broadcast

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student wgn pornhub bookmark

One time a female co-worker came up to my desk to ask me something and I had the word "chlamydia" written in my Google search bar. Now, it was simply there because I was verifying the spelling for a story, and I am not sure if she even saw it, but it was very embarrassing and I always wonder if she thinks I have an STD.

Anyway, none of that is as bad as what happened to a Chicago student who forgot to clear her phone's porn history before being filmed for a news report. The report was about students developing an app that helps people expunge their criminal records, but when the female student opened her browser the audience was treated to Pornhub bookmarks about masturbation and squirting.

A quick video of the WGN news segment can be seen here, and another nice screenshot of the embarrassing gaffe is below (via Gawker and Reddit).

student pornhub bookmark WGN news

 

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Florida Woman Stabs Fiance for Not Driving Her to Liquor Store

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Her fiancé might not be thinking it right now as he lies in a hospital bed with a stab wound to his stomach, but given that the wedding was only one week away, this might be the best thing that could have happened to him.
melissa bopp stabs fiance liquor store
In your daily dose of "This Shit Only Happens in Florida" news, a Fort Pierce woman was arrested and charged with aggravated battery after stabbing her fiancé in the stomach because he wouldn't drive her to a liquor store.

Cedric Henry told police his fiancé Melissa Bopp stabbed him with a "big knife" after he made what must have seemed like a rational decision at the time to not drive her to a liquor store because he himself was too intoxicated.

And just when you thought in no way could anything else have happened to make Bopp look like an even crazier piece of trash, the whole incident went down in front of Bopp's child.

We've got 20 bucks that says that kid doesn't turn out to be his school's valedictorian.

(via WESH)

At least she didn't stab him with a squirrel: Woman Stabs Husband With Ceramic Squirrel For Not Bringing Home Beer

 

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This Is the Worst Cheap Shot We Have Ever Seen in Sports

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This dirtbag might've just won the title of "The Biggest Scumbag in Sports." During a brief break in the action during a soccer game, watch as the kid in the striped jersey runs down the field to backhand his opponent to the ground. That's dirty enough.

Then it really gets obnoxious.

As the kid is rolling around on the ground in pain, the same kid comes back and winds up to deliver a full kick to his opponent's ribs. Disgusting. Then he throws a punch at someone from the other team who challenges him over his ridiculous actions. This kid should never be allowed on a soccer field again. Hell, he shouldn't be allowed to play any sport ever again.

 

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Drawing Cartoon Heads on Unsuspecting Passengers Makes Commutes Fun

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