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These 20 Very Short Stories Are Better Than Any Book You'll Read

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If you're like me, then you have the attention span of a squirrel. So, I'll keep this intro short for the both of us. Sean Hill, the creator of the @VeryShortStory Facebook page, knocks out some really entertaining stories in just a couple sentences, making books totally unnecessary. So, put down the book (as if you haven't already) and read 20 of his best very short stories instead.




















 

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An Autocomplete Map of the World's People: North and South America

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Google's autocomplete feature is a handy little tool that predicts what we are about to ask our Google overlords, based on what other (English-speaking) people have asked in the past. We can use this tool to see what people are searching, and more specifically to the following map, stereotypes about people from different countries.

It's simple. All we do is go to Google and type in "why are [people from country we're interested in] so" and see what Google's autocomplete spits out. For example:



Google tells us that Americans are stupid, rude, and loud. Quite the ringing endorsement. We then take the most searched term, slap it on the map, and move on to the next country. Before long, this is what we come up with:

N/A = no data (probably because no one knows what to call people from Suriname and Guyana)

 

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If Superman Wore a GoPro Camera on His Head

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Before you roll your eyes, this was more enjoyable than I expected it to be. Every boy has wanted to be Superman at some point in his life. Thanks to the crew over at Corridor Digital, you can now experience the world from Superman's point of view. They shot actual drone footage over Los Angeles and used actors to simulate a day out as Superman if he had a GoPro camera strapped to his head. It's pretty entertaining and worth a watch.

 

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The 40 Greatest Wrestler Intros of All Time

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George Pimentel/WireImage


It's amazing what a good intro song can do for a wrestler's career. There's just something about the perfect song that sends the crowd into an absolute frenzy. Over the years there have been some really terrible ones (we're looking at you, American Males), but some songs have become intricate parts of wrestling history. Here's a look at the 40 greatest wrestler intros of all time. If you have others that you enjoyed, feel free to mention them below. Just don't bring up "Disco Inferno."

40. Big Boss Man
It's not like you need an awesome theme when you can twirl a baton like that, but he had one anyway.


39. Raven
I never wanted a perm until I saw Raven walking to the ring with that song blasting and his ripped jeans.


38. Jake Roberts
You knew as soon as that song started you were going to see Jake toss that python on one of his foes who also happened to have a snake phobia.


37. Sting
It's crazy how much String reinvented himself by completely ripping off The Crow and ditching his spikey hair.


36. Diamond Dallas Page
Did no one else notice his theme song was just "Smells Like Teen Spirit" with a few bits of DDP commentary in it?

35. Vader
When you heard "IT'S TIME! IT'S VADER TIME!" and saw that giant red mask coming to the ring it was impossible not to get excited.


34. John Cena
No one insists on rocking those denim capri pants quite like John Cena, huh?


33. 2 Cold Scorpio
Seriously, if you've never listened to his theme song, do it now. The video that goes along with it is nothing short of magical.


32. The Gangstas
The best part was that they left the song playing through their entire match so it was like a concert of people getting things broken over their heads.


31. Matt Hardy
Maybe the most underrated theme song in recent memory. It was much better than the Hardy's tag team theme.

30. Vince McMahon
While he's far from the best wrestler, you can tell he's in charge because his entrance music rules.


29. Shawn Michaels
If anyone thinks this should be higher on the list, do me a favor and listen to it again. The lyrics are beyond stupid.


28. CM Punk
Let's hope we get to hear this again soon and that he's not done with wrestling forever.


27. Mr. Perfect
How would you sum up his entrance theme? I'd say perfect.


26. Razor Ramon
It's not flashy, but it fit his character and persona so perfectly that you have to respect it.
25. Goldberg
The ominous music combined with pyrotechnics that he WOULD INHALE made for such an amazing thing to see.


24. Ultimate Warrior
You really only got to hear about 5-10 seconds of his song because he ran to the ring so quickly they had to cut it off almost immediately.


23. Kane
Kane's theme could've easily been an Undertaker rip off, but they found a way to make it, not only cool, but unique as well.


22. The Sandman
How can you go wrong with Metallica blasting while a dude with a beer belly smashes beer cans on his forehead over and over?


21. Rick Rude
No one could pull off that porn mustache and airbrushed tights quite like Ravishing Rick Rude.

Click here for the Top 20 Greatest Wrestler Intros of All Time

 

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The 40 Greatest Wrestler Intros of All Time, Part 2

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Click here for The 40 Greatest Wrestler Intros of All Time, Part 1

20. Ric Flair
The best part of his theme was how classy it felt. A rock song would've felt ridiculous with his feather-trimmed robe and luscious blonde hair. The beauty was in its simplicity.


19. Macho Man
As soon as his song would start, you knew you were in for something spectacular. Again, he could've gone with a rock song similar to Ultimate Warrior, but this one just felt triumphant.


18. Rob Van Dam
Even now it's hard to hear this song and not start chanting, "RVD" while he struts to the ring.


17. Bret Hart
How is this not the Canadian national anthem?


16. Legion of Doom
I feel like if I was on a tag team wrestling against the Legion of Doom, as soon as I heard, "WHAT A RUSH!" it would be hard for me not to start cheering along with the crowd.

15. Edge
If you've forgotten how great Edge's theme music was, give it another listen. It's seriously criminally underrated.


14. Val Venis
No one will ever be able to convince me that he didn't have one of the most perfect themes (and video) in the history of wrestling.


13. Goldust
It felts like the entire arena transformed when Goldust would walk out to the ring. It was ominous and strangely sexual. It summed up everything that is Goldust.


12. Million Dollar Man
No one has a better laugh than Ted Dibiase so when you combine that with the simplicity of singers chanting "money" over and over is nothing short of classic.


11. The Undertaker
Nothing gave children in the early '90s more nightmares than Paul Bearer and The Undertaker walking out to that terrifying music while carrying an urn.



10. The Brood
Seriously listen to this song again. It feels like if the movie "Blade" made a top 40 song, but in the best way possible. Too bad Gangrel wasn't as awesome as his theme music.

9. The Rock
There was only one other wrestler that had a theme song that would immediately bring fans to their feet faster than The Rock and he's still to come on the list. It didn't even matter what played after the first two seconds because you couldn't hear it over the cheers anyway.


8. Triple H
When you've been around as long as Triple H you'd better have a great theme song. He not only has a good one, he has one of the best.


7. Hulk Hogan (WCW)
It wasn't quite as great as his original WWF theme music, but everything about it felt right. It summed up the hero that was Hulk Hogan and felt like a seamless transition from one organization to another.


6. Stone Cold Steve Austin
This was the one mentioned on The Rock's theme. That glass breaking was the most exciting sound you could possibly hear on a "Monday Night Raw."

5. New Age Outlaws
No one cared about Billy Gunn and Jesse James' wrestling abilities because when you have a theme like this combined with the greatest introduction of all time nothing else really matters.


4. Chris Jericho
Jericho's theme was so good that it didn't even seem like an intro song, but instead just a normal song that you'd listen to outside of an arena. That may sound like an insult, but it's a huge compliment.


3. nWo
The nWo was the coolest thing that ever happened in wrestling so, of course, it needed one of the most memorable themes if it was going to represent so many superstars.


2. Degeneration X
When alternative rock was ruling the radio, DX came out with the ultimate anti-authority theme music. To this day, their theme song is still one of the best the WWE has ever produced.


1. Hulk Hogan (WWF)
It's the defining wrestling theme of all time and may have single-handedly brought America together in the 80s. Go put it on your iPod immediately.

 

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Randy Couple Caught Having Sex by Dumpster on St. Patrick's Day

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The photo below is everything that is wrong (or maybe right) with St. Patrick's Day. That, of course, depends on your views of having dumpster sex behind a Dunkin' Donuts.

According to the Huffington Post, things got a little too horny for two college-aged patrons of the St. Patrick's Day festivities in Newark, Delaware over the weekend. The two apparently had such a hard time keeping it in their pants, that they decided the best course of action would be to display their love for each other in the rear parking lot of the Galleria Building, which so happens to be on the city's Main Street.

st. patrick's day couple having sex, sex by dumpster

Needless to say, several spectators were able to capture the event in all its filthy glory on their cell phones, with several posting pictures to social media within minutes of it taking place. Oh yeah, there was a NSFW video taken, as well. Have a look:


Perhaps just as funny as the incident itself, it seems no one officially reported the act of public lewdness to the authorities while it was in progress. Instead, they had to find out via social media just like the rest of us. The suspects are still at large, and have been described as a college-aged white male with brown hair wearing a green, button-down shirt and khaki pants, and a college-aged white female with blonde hair in a leprechaun-green green shirt and blue jean shorts. So, um, keep a lookout?

Only in Delaware, right? Wrong!: Drunk Man Crashes Into Restaurant Then Gets Out and Masturbates

 

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NYPD Officers Sued Over White Castle Sliders

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We would expect this kind of behavior from the "Popeye" character Wimpy, but not from any sane, real-life individual. And especially not two of them.

According to the New York Daily News, two Brooklyn men, Danny Maisonet and Kenneth Glover, are suing the New York City Police Department over an incident taking place during Halloween 2012, which ultimately ended in theiwhite castle slidersr arrest. Maisonet and Glover were reportedly exiting a cab in Coney Island while carrying a bag of fresh White Castle sliders when they happened upon police officers rounding up suspects of a supermarket looting incident on Neptune Avenue. The officers on the scene then demanded that the two men hand over their bag of burgers.

After Maisonet and Glover refused to hand over their bag, they claim they were each struck by the officers with flashlights and cuffed. But unlike the rest of the suspects at the scene, the two men were not charged with looting, but instead with obstructing government administration and disorderly conduct. While these charges were eventually dropped, the pain of losing their beloved sliders lived on.

While the New York City Law Department has declined to comment on the impending lawsuit, the officer who swore in the complaint against the two men, Angelo Pizzarro, stated they were standing in his way as he struggled with the other looter suspects. But perhaps he just wanted the tasty burgers for himself?

While some sue for burgers, other sue for booties: Model Sues Playboy for Hitting Her in Butt During 'Golf Tee in Butt' Stunt

 

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Vasectomy Procedures Rise Roughly 50 Percent During March Madness

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Coincidence? We think not. Think about it: What better chance do you have at watching the games in peace than being laid up for several, uninterrupted days on the couch?
march madness bracket
According to CNN, urologists around the country seem to experience drastic spikes in the number of vasectomies being booked in March due to the 68-team college basketball tournament. Other urologists who are booked solid year-round, such as Dr. Philip Werthman in Los Angeles, California, say that they also notice a jockeying for coveted time slots prior to the start of the NCAA tournament, with patients calling well in advice to book a time.

Dr. Ed Sabanegh, chairman of the Department of Urology at the Cleveland Clinic, says that during the month of March, his practice experiences "about 50 percent more vasectomies than in other months." Elsewhere in Ohio, a major clinic reports that they perform somewhere between 40 and 50 more procedures during this same time.

While the American Urological Association still refuses to acknowledge the link between March Madness and vasectomies, we think it seems pretty clear that when it comes to watching basketball, a man's cunning knows no bounds.

There are other options in terms of when and how to get a vasectomy, but they come less recommended: Missing Penis Causes Road Closure

 

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Jennifer Akerman Shares the Same Sexy Genes as Her Sister

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Courtney Love Thinks She Found the Missing Malaysian Airlines Plane

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courtney love malaysian airlines planeMaybe there was a hardcore mixture of barbiturates and little blue pills next to Malaysian Airlines Flight 370's black box, because Courtney Love sure didn't have a problem finding the plane that has been elusive to the rest of the world.

According to Rolling Stone, the lead singer of the subpar 90's rock band Hole says she was able to spot the missing plane by using an online satellite imagery map website called Tomnod that was set up to help find the plane's location. She then took to Facebook to tell her fans about it:



So far more than 14,000 of her followers like the picture of a possible plane crash site.

Only time will tell whether or not Love actually found the missing plane, but if it's going to keep her and her band out the studio longer, here's to hoping she continues to look for it.

Here are a bunch of bands and artists that don't suck: 2014's Biggest Music Festivals and the Best Acts To See

 

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If Tinder Messages Were Honest

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Tinder is an online dating application that allows people who find each other attractive to message one another. It also allows for some very transparent and shallow conversations. Here is one of those conversations, except without the lying.

 

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