Couple Awarded $28,000 for Bad Sex Life

April 3, 2014, 5:17 am

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Considering the amount of pathetic sex life complaints I receive from my married friends, they might want to pay close attention to this one.

A judge in Tuscany awarded a middle-aged Italian couple $28,000 after they argued their sex life sucks ever since the wife was hit by a car while she was using a pedestrian crossing.

Even though it's been two years since the accident, the woman still suffers from back pain and is reportedly "unable to enjoy the sex life she once had."

According to The Local, the judge threw out the insurance company's argument that the couple was too old to enjoy the sex life that they once had. Wow, the nerve.

The couple argued that it's not just in the bedroom where their life blows now as a result of the accident. They're also no longer able to play sports, go cycling or travel together.

No word on whether or not the accident also caused the woman to gain 50 or 60 pounds. If she has, according to what I've heard from my married friends, that might be another reason why they're no longer having amazing sex.

Guys, here's how you can make your sex life a little sweeter: Pineapple Juice Really Does Make Your Load Taste Sweeter

 

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The 'Mad Men' and 'Game of Thrones' Character Swap

April 3, 2014, 6:00 am

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Two of television's most anticipated season premieres are right around the corner. Season 4 of "Game of Thrones" begins this coming Sunday and the final season of "Mad Men" kicks off the following Sunday. Which got us thinking ... what if the characters from one show were suddenly starring on the other? Well, wonder no more. Here is what it would look like if the "Game of Thrones" characters were on "Mad Men" and the "Mad Men" characters on "Game of Thrones."

Jon Snow on "Mad Men"

Daenerys Targaryen on "Mad Men"

Hodor on "Mad Men"

Joffrey Baratheon on "Mad Men"

Tyrion Lannister on "Mad Men"

Roger Sterling on "Game of Thrones"

Peggy Olson on "Game of Thrones"

Pete Campbell on "Game of Thrones"

Joan Harris on "Game of Thrones"

Don Draper on "Game of Thrones"

Want more? Check out The Hottest "Game of Thrones" Girls and The 12 Hottest Women of "Mad Men."

 

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Warning: Don't Sneeze Around Your Baby

April 3, 2014, 7:54 am

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This poor little kid is just happily trying to remain standing on her newly discovered legs when along comes the giant one they call "Mama." Next thing she knows, she's startled by the very common occurrence that is a sneeze. You can guess what happens next, but it's way more entertaining to watch. And don't worry, Mama reports that the little one was not injured.

 

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Caitlin Stasey is a Wonder From Down Under

April 3, 2014, 8:48 am

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Here's a Sexy Emmy Rossum Video Just in Time for the 'Shameless' Finale

April 3, 2014, 9:45 am

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Emmy Rossum is best known for her role on Showtime's "Shameless" as the responsible big sister, but anybody who knows Emmy well also knows she's a talented singer, model and activist. Her latest photo shoot with Esquire is no slouch either, as everyone got another taste of Emmy's sexy side, especially around the one-minute mark, just to hold them over until she could show some skin as Fionna Gallagher, the Chicago girl raising her siblings while her father, played by the talented William H. Macy, is off drinking on the government's dime. The season finale airs this Sunday, April 6.

 

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Adelaide Kane is Insanely Sexy

April 3, 2014, 6:45 pm

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Woman's Corpse Thrown in a Dumpster After Being Mistaken for an April Fools' Day Prank

April 3, 2014, 8:48 pm

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A 96-year-old St. Petersburg, Florida woman who committed suicide by jumping from her 16-story apartment complex was thrown in the dumpster by the complex's desk clerk after he thought her corpse was a mannequin that someone had placed there as an April Fools' Day prank.



According to The St. Petersburg Tribune, Ronald Benjamin stepped outside for a smoke break early Wednesday morning and saw the woman's bloody body lying in the parking lot. But he crushed his cigarette and went back inside because he thought the body was a mannequin with red paint on it.

Benjamin and several other employees decided that if it was indeed an April Fools' Day prank, then the mannequin needed to be disposed of. So that's when he asked a couple delivering newspapers to help him throw the body into a nearby dumpster, where it was later discovered by yet another employee to be anything but a prank.

When authorities arrived on the scene, they discovered a suicide note in the woman's apartment as well as the stool she used to climb over her balcony wall.

However, the question remains, if so many people mistook her body as a mannequin, exactly how much plastic surgery did this woman go through while she was still alive?

Hey, at least the guy who thought she was a mannequin didn't do this to her: Surveillance Camera Catches Suspected Thief Humping a Mannequin

 

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Cardinals First Baseman Matt Adams Shoved a Fan Yesterday

April 3, 2014, 10:00 pm

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It wasn't as spectacular as Ron Artest and Jermaine O'Neal throwing haymakers at the wrong fans during an NBA game almost ten years ago, but nonetheless, St. Louis Cardinals first baseman Matt Adams shoved a Cincinnati Reds fan yesterday after the fan caught a foul ball that Adams himself was trying to make a play on.



In the fan's defense, he did nothing wrong. In fact, he did everything a fan should do when an opposing player is trying to make a catch in the stands. He didn't extend his glove or his arm into the field of play, and he made a nice catch while at the same time preventing Adams from making it.

The fact that he's an adult and brought his glove to a Major League Baseball game does make him a huge dork, but it definitely doesn't warrant a shove from a professional athlete.

When asked about it after the game, Adams said he was just trying to keep himself from tumbling into the stands, but if you watch the clip above several times, you'll see that he's clearly full of shit.

(via SB Nation)

These girls are getting the ol' love shove from some of MLB's best players: The Hottest MLB WAGs of 2013

 

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Woman Survives After Falling Down a Well During Sex

April 4, 2014, 12:16 am

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Not only did Edelia Aponte survive the fall into a 15-foot well, but she did so after the guy she was fornicating with just left her there.

According to UPI, the 21-year-old woman in Spain fell to the bottom of a well while having sex because she didn't notice that the wood covering the top of the well was loose.

The man she was bumping uglies with bolted, but authorities suspect he was the one who placed an anonymous phone call that alerted them of the woman's situation. Firefighters were able to rescue Aponte and transport her to a hospital where she was treated for hypothermia and released.

If police are able to track the man down, he could be charged with "failing to aid someone in need of assistance." But Aponte told investigators she didn't know the man's name because she had just met him that night, so we're assuming the only thing they know about him at this point is that he is pretty damn smooth.

Here's a woman he probably wouldn't have to use his "A" game on: Florida Woman Calls 911 for Sex

 

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Today's Funniest Photos

April 4, 2014, 1:00 am

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The 20 Greatest Weird Al Parodies Of All Time

April 4, 2014, 2:00 am

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Drugs: Fantasy vs. Reality

April 4, 2014, 4:00 am

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All of us have gone through experimental phases in our lives. It was during those phases that most of us realized drugs aren't always as super awesome as they're made out to be. This chart breaks down what you expect from a crazy night out partying and what actually happens. And it's not pretty.

 

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Forrest MacNeil Explores Road Rage in Exclusive Sneak Peek of 'Review'

April 4, 2014, 4:59 am

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Review
Get More: Comedy Central,Funny Videos,Funny TV Shows

If you're not watching "Review" on Comedy Central, you're missing out on one of the most unusual and brilliant comedies out there right now. On "Review," Forrest MacNeil (played by Andy Daly) reviews life experiences rather than movies, TV shows or books, and gives them a rating out of five stars. Forrest has already reviewed hot-button issues like addiction, racism and divorce on his show-within-a-show, and in this exclusive sneak peek of the upcoming episode, which airs on April 10, you can watch him explore something we have all dealt with before -- road rage.

New episodes of "Review" can be seen Thursdays at 10/9C on Comedy Central.

 

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Overconfident Dog Learns His Lesson In Slow Motion

April 4, 2014, 5:26 am

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This is the best possible video for a Friday. Everyone's in a good mood, which means everyone's feeling a little overconfident. But let this little dog be your reminder that confidence doesn't necessarily equal success. It's actually the perfect metaphor for the weekend. The beginning is Friday evening and the couch is Monday morning. We would feel bad for the little guy if we weren't too busy roaring with laughter.

 

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This Week's Funniest Tweets

April 4, 2014, 6:00 am

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10 Actresses Who Have Gotten Sexier With Age

April 4, 2014, 7:00 am

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Today's Funny Photos

April 7, 2014, 12:06 am

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10 Scams You Should Actually Be Afraid Of

April 7, 2014, 1:24 am

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These Package Opening Fails Will Elicit Feelings of Anger

April 7, 2014, 2:00 am

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Is there anything more frustrating than really wanting something, but not being able to obtain it? Probably, but when you scroll down and look at these packages that consistently play cruel jokes on us, you won't be able to think of anything else. From shoddy wine corks to indestructible plastic clamshell containers, these items will push you to the brink of insanity, simply by trying to open them.

 

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10 Fantastic Horror Movies on Netflix You Probably Haven't Seen

April 7, 2014, 2:00 am

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