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The Greatest Wrestler From Each State


Julia Ann is MILF-tastic

Guy Tries to Shred on Guitar But His Cat Refuses to Allow It

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Cats. They don't play with you when you want them to and then need your constant attention when you don't want to give it to them. Take this guy's cat, for example. All the guy wants to do is shred some guitar to post on YouTube where it'll get tens of views. Lucky for him, his cat hilariously interrupts and just like that, his video goes viral. There really is nothing more metal than a cat on your lap.

 

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The Rob Ford Video Game Is Even Better Than It Sounds

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Why would you even think about working today if your company's IT department hasn't blocked the new Rob Ford "Crackathon" video game yet?

Well, at least that's what some people have to say about it on Twitter:
That's right, kids. Toronto mayor Rob Ford has his own online video game that's almost as basic as he is. For free - and that's really the most important part - you and your friends can go to RobFordTheGame.com to play "Crackathon," where you can collect crack pipes, marijuana leaves and bottles of booze while trying to steer clear of police officers and citizens with video cameras.

Crackathon Rob Ford Online Video Game

The goal is to amass the highest party score possible by using your computer's arrow keys to collect the pipes, leaves and bottles before your public opinion rating runs out. But when it does, you'll be impeached (even though Canadian mayors cannot be impeached).

The game is filled with actual sound clips from Rob Ford, and it can really take your afternoon to the next level.

Oh, and in case you've been hibernating, Rob Ford is still the mayor of Toronto even though videos of him smoking crack surfaced last year.

Check out "Rob Ford: The Movie": Rob Ford and Chris Farley Are a Match Made in Heaven

 

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Watch ESPN's Mike Greenberg Milk A Cow, Get Crapped On By A Cow

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New York Jets fan Mike Greenberg and former professional football player Mike Golic have been an ESPN Radio duo since 1998, but it's safe to say that yesterday was their shittiest day on the air. Literally.

The two hosts of Mike & Mike have put their March Madness brackets up against each other for the last eleven years, with the loser having to do some rather embarrassing things on the ESPN campus in front of their colleagues and fans.

This year's loser was Greenberg, and his morning featured eyebrow waxing, singing in concert, and competitive eating. And while we're sure each of those segments featured some good old fashioned LOLing, there is no way any of them came close to the entertainment value provided in this two-minute clip of Greenberg's final challenge in which he had to crank on some udders until he filled a bucket with milk.

The good news for Greenberg is that he was finally able to illustrate what life is like on a daily basis for those who root for the New York Jets.

(via Deadspin)

Hey, at least the cow didn't burn down the entire ESPN campus: 90 German Cows Start Fire By Farting

 

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Today's Funniest Photos

Florida City Official Arrested With A Meth Pipe In His Ass

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Meth makes people do crazy things. Apparently in Florida, it can take you to a level once thought to be unattainable.

According to CBS Miami, the former purchasing director for the city of Hialeah was arrested in downtown Fort Lauderdale for using methamphetamine. While the arrest took place in December of last year, details of the police report were first made public this week.
Florida official arrested with meth pipe in his butt
The report states that Carlos López was pulled over by police after accelerating his 2008 Hyundai to 50 MPH in a 25 MPH zone. The officer noticed López was displaying symptoms consistent with being under the influence of meth, so he called in a canine unit.

After finding a small metal container of the drug, authorities noticed López had his pants unbuttoned and asked him if he was hiding something in there (eh-hem, that's what she said). While it took some convincing, López finally admitted that he had indeed shoved a meth pipe up his ass. In fact, it was so far up his ass that he had to be taken to a hospital to get it removed.

Even crazier than that, López didn't lose his job over the incident, as he was merely transferred to a leadership position in Public Works several weeks later.

Are we the only ones who find this to be beyond shocking? I mean, you are the purchasing director for a city of almost 230,000 people, and you're driving around town in a 2008 Hyundai?

Then again, it appears that a good portion of his salary was being used to pay for other things.

Meth heads do crazy stuff in Seattle, too: Supposed Meth Dealer Flashes Bus Passengers For $5, Threatens to Stab Them

 

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Hilariously Ridiculous Dummies Used By Busted Carpool Lane Violators

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At the very least, we've all had the thought of using the carpool lane when we're not technically allowed to. But all it takes is one cop who spots you with no one else in the car and all of a sudden you've got a hefty fine on your hands. Believe it or not, some people go to extremes to try not to get caught while enjoying the benefits of the less-congested carpool lane. These people who built their own homemade passenger dummy all get an A for creativity and effort. They may have failed to fool the cops, but they've succeeded in making us laugh.

http://blog.seattlepi.com/thebigblog/2008/01/09/single-in-the-hov-lane-what-a-dummy/ Jan 8, 2008    About 6:30 a.m., a Washington State Patrol trooper stopped a man in a Mazda for traveling alone in the carpool lane along state Route 167 near Kent, only to find the motorist was transporting an elaborately dressed mannequin in an apparent effort to fool the trooper.  �This guy, he went to great extremes,� Trooper Jeff Merrill said.  The dummy sported a denim jacket, hooded sweatshirt and glasses. The driver had also painted on bright blue eyes and a heavy black beard.  The trooper found the mannequin in the rear passenger seat. But the dummy was not seat belted in, so had slumped forward which was why the trooper didn�t see it until he stopped the car.  The driver, a 41-year-old Puyallup man, was unrepentant and told the trooper that next time, he�ll let the mannequin ride shotgun and use the seatbelt. He was cited for an HOV violation, which carries a $124 fine.  The traffic stop, and the mannequin, drew gawkers, which led to a two-car fender bender. No one was hurt in that crash.









To be clear, State Patrol troopers say, kids do count for the carpool lane tally. Just not fake ones.  On Thursday, the State Patrol detailed a stop in which a man late for work put his daughter�s doll in the front passenger seat and tried to slide by in the carpool lane.  The doll was Diego, cousin of Dora the Explorer.  Diego got his own show, a spinoff of the Nickelodeon pre-school-age series, in 2005: �Go Diego, Go.�  Fortunately for him, fake kids don�t get tickets from troopers.  The incident happened Nov. 29 on the northbound state Route 167 ramp to northbound Interstate 405. The driver was one of 21 people stopped for carpool lane violations that morning.  �As cars moved past in the HOV lane the trooper observed a vehicle whose passenger had huge unblinking eyes,� Trooper Julie Startup said in a statement. �Realizing it was a doll in the front seat the vehicle was stopped.� Dec 9, 2010 But at least the driver was conscientious with his daughter�s doll. Diego was wearing his seatbelt.

Another HOV violator was caught Wednesday with a doll in the front seat. 2011

http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/2009/03/12/another-commute-another-carpool-dummy/

At 7:55 a.m. on Nov. 22, a trooper watching traffic on northbound I-5 at SR 516 saw a Scion zip by in the HOV lane with a passenger that looked a little � plastic.  Turns out, he was.When the trooper contacted the driver to inquire about the welfare of the passenger he quickly observed that the passenger had much bigger problems,� reads the press release from the Washington State Patrol.      Located in the passenger seat was the pale head of a mannequin stuffed in a sweat shirt and wearing a hat. The usually white, styrofoam head had been painted beige to give it a more life-like appearance. On the head was a baseball hat tilted toward the driver. The human dummy was held in place by the seatbelt, obviously for its safety.  The Olalla, Washington, driver was given a citation after he was �re-educated in the definition of 2 or more occupants,� the release said.

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Driver-used-skeleton-to-be-in-carpool-lane-2443733.php  January 5, 2012  A man stopped for aggressive driving in a carpool lane last month had an unusual passenger: A seat-belted, plastic skeleton.  A Washington State Patrol trooper had stopped the man on Interstate 5 at South 272nd Street near Dec. 20.  The trooper had clocked the driver going 82 miles per hour and watched him make some dangerous lane changes.   The driver, in a silver Mazda, had also been driving in the carpool lane. At first, the trooper thought he had a passenger. Then he realized it was a propped-up, plastic skeleton, draped in a white hoodie, with some kind of metal cookie tin between its thighs.




(H/T 22 Words)

 

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Final Season Predictions for 13 Major 'Mad Men' Characters

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mad men season 7, mad men season 7 castLike all good things - "Breaking Bad" mostly - the hit AMC original series "Mad Men" must come to an end after its upcoming seventh season. A lot of things are left to be figured out, and although plotlines are very hush-hush (rightfully so), we wouldn't let you return to Don and company without offering a few predictions for the cast members in its last hurrah.

The new season premieres on April 13, but what many people don't know is the final 14-episode season is split into two parts, the second to finish airing in 2015. So before you start drinking at work and throwing weird theme parties in honor of the premiere, let's consider the future of each of these classy folks based off what we know and hope for. (WARNING: SEASONS 1-6 SPOILERS AHEAD)
don draper season 7, mad men don draper
Don Draper

Last season, we saw Don fight to go to L.A. only to hand it off to his partner, Ted, simultaneously causing Megan to run out on him. After railroading a big meeting with Hershey's, he was suspended indefinitely. The season 7 premiere is titled "Time Zones", and for Don, that could mean Megan went to Hollywood as planned without him. By now, Don could be back in the office battling a hefty commute to keep his marriage afloat. If he's cleaned up his act, things may be business as usual, but in the final season, expect his secret past to come full circle and bite him square in the buttocks of his fancy smoky suit. We saw some of that with his candid meeting with Hershey's. He'll be looking to make his way to L.A. to escape the weight of New York and get back in Megan's good graces, but will he get there before it's too late?


Megan Drapermegan draper season 7, megan draper mad men

The biggest character change will be Megan, who we believe will carry on to Hollywood, get away from her New York life, and blossom into a truly big actress. And Don won't know how to reconnect with her. She'll catch everybody in Hollywood's eye, much like Jessica Pare did in her Esquire photoshoot, just before this season premiere. As she finds fame, look for her to grow apart from Don, and once again, Don will find himself alone (yet in the company of many beautiful women). Megan will have many gentleman callers, as well. Let's hope she gets a little slutty this time around, but in a totally classy way of course -- which makes it not slutty at all.


Sally Drapersally draper season 7, sally draper mad men

She'll play a crucial role in the final season as she holds all the cards with the secret she's keeping of her father's extramarital affairs. As Don tries to reconnect, Sally will attempt to take big steps toward adulthood knowing that she can. Megan will already be growing apart, and Sally's looming confession will be the last straw to cut ties with Sally's father. Look for Sally to be a manipulative little bitch, a bit of a wild child, and a real handful for her folks this time around as she makes her dad earn back her trust while throwing a kegger or two to piss off Betty in the process.


Roger Sterling
roger sterling season 7, roger sterling mad men
Chances are, Roger Sterling will continue to be cocky and sophisticated in the final season, battling tooth and nail for clients with the slick Pete Campbell. He'll also miss a friend in not having Don around, so he'll push to get Draper back to work. But last we checked, Sterling was getting into Joan's good graces, getting to spend the holidays with his estranged son. Look for Sterling to take the absence of his own family as a sign to be a good father to Joan's and his son. Maybe he'll finally get around to smacking Bob Benson around, too, because somebody really should.

betty draper season 7, betty draper mad men
Betty (Draper) Francis

Somewhat fazed out of the show last season as Megan Draper took over, January Jones' character Betty Francis will likely make a big comeback in season 7. Besides another change in hair color, expect Betty to step in as the chief parental figure to Sally as Don struggles to connect with his daughter, and while Megan is away, don't be surprised if the slim-again Betty falls into Don's lap once more, so to speak.


Peggy Olsonpeggy olson season 7, peggy olson mad men

After a quick affair and a rough ending with Ted, Peggy is forced to run the New York branch in Don's absence. In the time she has being in charge, we believe she'll come into her own and probably turn out to do a better job than Don altogether, and everyone will notice. If that doesn't happen, expect Peggy to make some important life decisions instead of letting her work dictate her life. Now that Ted is out of the picture, she has some big choices to make, and we expect she'll come out on top in the end because although Don is the main character, the story follows her just as much as it does him.

ted chaough season 7, ted chaough mad men
Ted Chaough

The episode title "Time Zones" might also refer to Ted and Don trying to balance the company between the two coasts. Of course, if Ted isn't up to par, Don will be there to call him out. He'll find that being away from Peggy was harder than he thought, and eventually he'll cave in under the pressure one way or another. Ted is a caver.



Joan Harrisjoan harris season 7, joan harris mad men

Joan and her awesome bazungas will be back to keep it classy. The tagline for the new season is "everything is up in the air," and with planes being featured (and Joan walking off of one) in the secretive teasers and the episode called "Time Zones," look for Joan to be traveling to the west coast. Maybe in the end, the whole company will take to L.A. Wouldn't that be darling? And look for Joan to take an interest in Roger Sterling taking an interest in being a part of her son's life. He'll announce it to the world, and maybe sparks too will fly - again - this season.


Pete Campbelpete campbell season 7, pete campbell mad menl

With plans to move out to Los Angeles, leaving Trudy and his child behind, Pete will become the big dog on the west coast, but his head might get a little big in the city of sexy angels. He'll likely have a power struggle with Ted, the other guy who's been shacking up with Peggy. They'd be a good match for a fight, and we love watching Pete get his ass kicked. Expect Pete to run his mouth, get slapped in it and continue on as the conniving little weasel he always was. And if Sterling doesn't kick Bob Benson's ass, hopefully Pete will. Such a violent group, these mad men.

betram cooper season 7, bertram cooper mad men
Bertram Cooper

Old man Cooper will bite the big one this season. He's old, barely does anything and sits around like a zen master waiting to judge people. His departure from the show will be sad but quickly forgotten, just like that British guy. What was his name? Hangey McGlasses? Too soon?



Ken Cosgrovken cosgrove season 7, ken cosgrove mad mene & Harry Crane

These two will continue to thrive in their own little expertise fields, but Ken Cosgrove will eventually flourish as a sci-fi writer and quit the business. Harry Crane will just eat a ton of food and sexually harass women verbally in the office. These two -- you've got to love them.




bob benson season 7, bob benson mad men
Bob Benson

He'll be awkwardly found out by the entire office and awkwardly leave the show. That, or he'll shoot up the office, take Joan's baby for ransom and make a sexual pass at Pete Campbell while he sleeps, in that order. Only time will tell.

 

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Gary Player Says Arnold Palmer Once Pooped on a Green in Japan

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Let's be honest. When Tiger Woods isn't playing in the biggest tournament in professional golf, you have to do whatever it takes to get people to pay attention.

Telling a story about one of the greatest golfers in history taking a dump on a green in Japan is one way to do it.

According to CBS Sports, Gary Player sat down for an interview that aired live yesterday on Golf Channel, and it was during that interview that Player told what could go down as the greatest golf story ever. You know, it's the one where Arnold Palmer dropped a deuce on a putting green during a tournament in Japan, only to have an official blame Player for it because Palmer was a king and wouldn't do something like that.

Trust us. It's a lot better when Gary Player tells the story:



We would like to think the story of how Arnold Palmer came up with the drink that bears his name is just a tad more on the romantic side.

Speaking of romantic stories: Model Sues Playboy For Hitting Her in Butt During 'Golf Tee in Butt' Stunt

 

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Realistic Mario Shows Us The Darker Side Of The Game

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"The Pete Holmes Show" is here to take the fantasy out of your childhood in this video where they examine how a game of Super Mario Bros. would go if it were more like real life. Let's just say, Mario doesn't get too far.

 

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