Quantcast
Channel: Mandatory
Viewing all 11431 articles
Browse latest View live

Adult Kickball League Email Asks Male Players Not to Have Sex With Female Teammates

0
0
If that's the case, then what's the point of signing up?

The guys at Deadspin have come across an amazing email that was recently sent by an unidentified co-ed kickball coach to his team's male players that basically tells them to wait five weeks before humping their female teammates.
kickball coach tells male players not to have sex with female teammates
The reason? You guessed it: it's all about the championship, baby.

According to the coach, there are three things that will guide his team to a title this year: how well the men play, how well the women play, and if the women show up. And by his rationale, the women aren't going to show up if the guys take turns plowing them after a few pitchers at McGillycuddy's following the first couple of games:

The main reason for this (women not showing up), is screwing. No joke, you bang some chick, she's ashamed, maybe you sucked at it (none of us, obviously) and she doesn't want to see you, therefore she doesn't show up again.

As a result of this analysis, the coach lays down one simple rule:

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FUCK ANYONE ON THE TEAM UNTIL AFTER WEEK FIVE.

Of course, it wouldn't be the greatest kickball email ever created unless it ends with a reminder that it's all about the team:

Please be a team player, wait a few weeks. If you're that good, it won't matter anyway. Don't break up the team because of your dick.

Speaking of hysterical emails: Inside Richard Sherman's Gmail Account

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments


6 Sorta Reassuring Facts About Flying

0
0
6 Mostly Reassuring Facts About Flying

If you're like me, then you're pretty terrified of flying. Even if you aren't, it's still comforting to know certain facts about plane crashes that might put your mind at ease. While even just thinking about a plane crash might increase your heart rate at first, all of the facts in this convenient video end up being reassuring. Sorta.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Study Says Our Brains Peak at Age 24

0
0
Well, unless you're Justin Bieber. In that case, your brain peaked at the age of seven.

According to a study conducted by researchers at Simon Fraser University, human beings are "over the hill" once we reach the ripe old age of 24.
study says our brains peak at age 24
Students and advisers studied 3,305 people between the ages of 16-44 as they played StarCraft 2, analyzing "thousands of hours of cognitive-based moves" and stacking those results up against other players. They concluded that even at the highest levels of skill, players over the age of 24 showed "slowing in a measure of cognitive speed that is known to be important for performance."

However, the same study showed that older players were smarter than their younger counterparts, as they were more prone to use shortcuts or any other method to gain an advantage.

One major disadvantage for the older test subjects not mentioned in the study? The fact that they played StarCraft 2. You know that if they would have busted out the original Super Mario Bros., they would have come to the conclusion that our brains don't fully develop until the age of 40.

(via Newser)

Here's a less depressing study: Smartphone App Says People in New Mexico Have Longest Sex

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

The Ultimate Pole Dancing Fails Compilation

0
0

Pole dancing isn't for everyone. Lucky for us, that doesn't necessarily stop people from trying it. As you will see in this video, people attempting to master the stripper-dominated art of pole dancing on camera pretty much always results in pure comedy gold.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

I Could Listen to Munenori Kawasaki Get Interviewed All Day

0
0

This is just good stuff. Munenori Kawasaki is a Japanese baseball player currently splitting time at shortstop with the Toronto Blue Jays. I don't know much about him, but based on this interview alone, he seems like an excited, happy guy who is loving life. His fervor for learning the English language will lift your spirits, and his impression of his young son will bring a smile to your face. I love you, Munenori Kawasaki.

More fun baseball stuff: MLB All-Stars If They Looked Like Kenny Powers

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

10 Surprising Facts About Ebay

0
0
The 9 Surprising Facts About eBay

Did you know that Ebay hasn't always been called Ebay? And do you know what Ebay is short for? All these questions (and tons more) are answered in this interesting and informative video about one of the largest websites in the history of the Internet.


 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Historical Facts About Birth Control

0
0
Historical Facts About Birth Control

When you think of birth control, you probably think of condoms and "the pill." But it's taken many moons to arrive at the current state of contraception, and if history is any indication, we are not done evolving just yet. From animal skins to magic yams to "ribbed for her pleasure" rubbers, we've come a long way in terms of birth control. This video shows just how far.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Jessy Schram From 'Mad Men' Makes Men Go Mad


The Greatest Hacks and Cybercrimes in History

14 Infamous 20-Year Anniversaries in 2014

The Best of TL;DR Wikipedia

A Guide to 'Game of Thrones' Monsters

0
0
Not only are the lands of Westeros and Essos filled with a-hole kings and a shockingly high number of prostitutes per capita, but they're also home to a wide variety of mythical beasts, all of which you probably don't want to be trapped in an barn with. So let's explore these monsters, and determine if we're lucky they don't actually exist.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

The Secret Recipes for KFC and Coca-Cola Actually Aren't That Secret

0
0
secret recipe for kfc not so secret after allThe lab results are in: Colonel Sanders is a big fat liar.

Remember how the folks at Kentucky Fried Chicken used to throw it in your face as a kid that their chicken had 11 different herbs and spices in it? And you were so amazed by it because you couldn't even count that high? Well, according to William Poundstone's book "Big Secrets," it turns out their coating mix contains only four ingredients: flour, salt, monosodium glutamate and black pepper. And, ahem, zero herbs.

Poundstone came to this conclusion thanks to advances in laboratory analysis and an increase in the amount of information companies have to disclose regarding their products. So don't believe everything you hear about your favorite fast foods and junk food products.

Just about every major product in the food and beverage category seems to have some kind of mystery attached to their recipe. Hell, tons of people still believe Coca-Cola has actual cocaine in it. But don't worry, the great white horse has never been a secret ingredient in the most popular soda in the world. Sure, it uses coca leaves and kola nuts for flavoring and stimulants, but that's a pretty far cry from snorting a line off a Las Vegas hooker's jugs.

(via LiveScience)

However, it's still a mystery as to what's in the DNA of these winners: The Weirdest Fast Food Customers Ever

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Goat Sneeze Scares the Crap Out of Girl

0
0

There is not much I can say about this video. A goat sneeze shouldn't scare someone as much as it scares this girl. But thankfully it did and a camera was rolling to capture it.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Jesus Named 'Fan of the Game' at Easter Sunday NHL Game

0
0
For two thousand years, Jesus Christ has been called a savior, a miracle worker and a man of peace. And after making an appearance at an NHL playoff game on Easter Sunday, he can now add "Fan of the Game" to his resume.

According to UPI, a man dressed as Jesus at the TD Garden in Boston for Game 2 of the Bruins-Red Wings series had quite an eventful day that involved hitting on women, being escorted by security back to his seat, and eventually being shown on the Jumbotron after he was named "Fan of the Game."

After walking down to the first level to "shake hands and pray through the crowd," he started spreading the word with a lovely female Bruins fan. At that point, a security guard came down and escorted him from the area, drawing boos from the crowd.


While many in the arena and on Twitter thought he was ejected from the game and arrested, it turns out Jesus was just asked to return to his seat. He was later named "Fan of the Game," which drew a huge ovation from the crowd when it was announced on the Jumbotron during the third period:


Maybe it was just what the Bruins and their fans needed, as Boston won the game 4-1 to even the series at one game apiece.

Surprisingly, the Jumbotron is not the strangest place he's been seen: Odd Places Jesus Has Been Found

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments


Fat Clown Makes Worst 'Royals' Parody Video Ever

0
0

If you currently go to Florida State University or are an FSU alum, I'm sorry, because this man has just given you all a bum rap. In what is quite possibly the worst video ever uploaded to YouTube, this loser attempts to rap along to the beat of Lorde's "Royals" with lyrics about how much the University of Florida sucks and how awesome FSU is. The problem is that he is terrible in every regard, and FSU has now opened itself up to "Fat Slob University" jokes galore, or probably much worse.

Let this be a lesson to all of you: Friends do not let friends make parody videos like this.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Two Guys With a Six-Pack Help Save a Woman From Vicious Dog Attack

0
0
Here's as good as any reason not to scorn somebody for buying a six-pack of beer on Good Friday.
men save woman from dog attack with six-pack of beer
According to the Brisbane Times, a father and son are being hailed as heroes after using their fists and a six-pack of Victoria Bitter to fend off a dog who was "basically chewing a lady's face off."

Justin Innes and his son Jacob were walking to a dinner on Good Friday in Sans Souchi, Australia with their sixer of VB when they stumbled upon a dog viciously attacking a 90-year-old woman. The elder Innes jumped in and began hitting the dog with his fists but to no avail, so he told his son to throw him a can to use as a weapon. When that didn't work, his son began whaling away on the dog with the rest of the six-pack.

The dog eventually went after the two men, and they were able to wrestle it into a nearby house and lock it inside. The woman was rushed to hospital but is expected to survive after undergoing surgery to her head.

Meanwhile, the Innes family could be the funniest heroes of 2014 after leaving us with quotes like, "I got bitten on my left inner thigh. Thank God it was a bit lower. I've already got kids though, so I'm all right."

Not to be outdone by his father, Jacob told reporters, "My dad was a bit upset because it was his six-pack. I said, it's all good, I'll buy him a case."

Surprisingly, a six-pack is not the strangest weapon of the year: New Mexico Woman Arrested for Beating Her Mom With a Vibrator

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Jennifer Nicole Lee Will Pump You Up

Maitland Ward Is Blowing the World Away

Stray Cat Freaks Out in Man's Home, Hilariously Destroys Blinds

0
0

Warning: Some NSFW language.

This video has been on YouTube for a while. We have no idea why were just seeing it now, but it definitely deserves more views than it has. A man pulled out his phone to record a stray cat who had made its way into his home. It isn't very long before the cat starts freaking out and hilarity ensues. Isn't the Internet glorious?

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Viewing all 11431 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images