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Louis C.K. Sure Likes to Talk About Dicks

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The fourth season of Louis C.K.'s critically acclaimed show "Louie" returns to FX on May 5th, with two new episodes every Monday night for seven weeks. If you are a fan of Louis C.K. and his show, you have probably noticed how much of his comedy is focused on male genitalia humor (i.e. dick jokes), most notably his "suck a bag of dicks" bit. But you may not have realized just how much Louie enjoys working dicks into his routine. This supercut paints a pretty clear picture.

 

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'Crocodile Chop' is the Musical Mashup of the Year So Far

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What's the craziest musical mashup you can think of that would still result in an awesome song? If you guessed anything other than Elton John and System of a Down, you are wrong. The video here mashes Elton John's "Crocodile Rock" with SOAD's "Chop Suey!" The result is "Crocodile Chop," an incredibly catchy mix of pop and hard rock that you will listen to at least three times today. For more cool mashups like this, check out Neil Cicierega on Soundcloud.

 

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Baltimore Landslide Swallows An Entire Street Of Cars

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Heavy rains have been pounding down on the streets of Baltimore over the past couple of days. And if you find yourself saying, "meh, it's just water," you need to watch this video and reconsider that thought. The video was shot in Baltimore's Charles Village neighborhood where the massive amounts of water caused a giant landslide. At first, the damage looks minimal, but eventually the landslide swallows an entire street of cars that crash down to the railroad tracks a whole 75 feet below. Onlookers can only watch and scream as the damage is done right before their very eyes.

The good news is that no one was injured. However, there are homes on the collapsed street that will probably have to be evacuated for some time to keep everyone safe from harm.

 

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How Not To Drink Absinthe

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Fire and alcohol should never be combined. Especially in your mouth. This young man learns that lesson the hard way when he tries to show off (for a girl, presumably) by lighting an Absinthe shot on fire and then pouring it down his throat. The results are immediate and terrifying, as it looks like not only the inside of his mouth catches fire, but somehow his outer cheek, too. Good God, learn a safer party trick, buddy.

 

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Sarah Dumont Gets Her Due in Maxim Spread

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Sarah Dumont might be somewhat new to the entertainment scene having only been around since 2009, but the "Don Jon" girl is now working her way up the TV circuit as the guest "cute girl" on new shows like "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D," "Mixology" and even a few upcoming films. Sarah got her start in acting on the "Melrose Place" remake in 2009 and since then has been typecast as the beautiful girl in the room - not a bad title to have. Maxim gives Dumont her due with a sexy spread for their upcoming issue, so if you like Sarah as much as we do in this behind-the-scenes clip, you won't have a problem clicking the play button over and over and over again, at least until your index finger goes numb.

 

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Guys Turn Their Roommate's Room Into A Beach

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If you're living with other people, you better have some respect for them. Otherwise, you could end up like this guy. Due to excessive bragging about a tropical vacation he had won in a drawing, his roommates decided to pull a little prank on him for when he returned. The roommates helped extend their buddy's vacation by turning his room into a beach. Sand and all. Once the prank was complete, they took to Reddit to give every other person with a roommate an excellent idea for a prank.











 

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Today's Funniest Photos

Basil Hayden's Puts Two New Twists On The Classic Derby Julep

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The Kentucky Derby is all about two things: picking a winning pony and enjoying a quality Mint Julep. The good folks at Basil Hayden's don't have any tips on which horse is going to trot into the winner's circle, but they do have two totally fresh takes on the Julep that will make your race day a success no matter how many winning picks you make. Here are two new twists on the classic Julep...



Basil Hayden's(R) Jockey's Julep
Created by Rob Floyd (Los Angeles, CA)

Ingredients:
- 2 parts Basil Hayden's(R) Bourbon
- 8-10 Mint Leaves
- 8 Blueberries
- 1 part Fresh Lime Juice
- 3/4 parts Simple Syrup

Method:
1. Muddle mint leaves and blueberries in a mixing glass.
2. Add remaining ingredients and shake over ice.
3. Fine strain into a rocks glass with crushed ice.
4. Garnish with blueberries and a sprig of mint.








Knob Creek(R) Storyville Julep
Recipe by Bobby "G" Gleason, Beam Master Mixologist

Ingredients:
- 1½ parts Knob Creek(R) Bourbon
- ½ part Thin Honey Syrup (3 parts honey, 2 parts water)
- 1½ parts Fresh Pressed Pineapple Juice
- 6 Fresh Mint Leaves
- Club Soda

Method:
1. Muddle pineapple, honey syrup and mint in a tall highball glass.
2. Fill with ice, add Knob Creek(R) Bourbon and stir top with club soda.
3. Garnish with a pineapple clip and mint top.



 

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A Guide To The U.S. Government's Secret Caves

23 Funny Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses

Wasted Gifs are the Best Gifs

Royals Pitcher Throws Ball Into Upper Deck

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After giving up multiple home runs in a game, most pitchers decide to throw the baseball into an opposing hitter's back. Apparently, Kansas City Royals pitcher Jeremy Guthrie likes to take the road less traveled.

With the score tied at three apiece in the top of the sixth inning last night, Toronto's Colby Rasmus, who finished the night with a .196 batting average, took Guthrie yard. It was the second home run allowed by Guthrie, with the other one coming from another below-average player in Juan Francisco.

But instead of drilling Chris Getz in the back with a 90-MPH heater to retaliate, Guthrie decided to hurl a baseball into the Kaufmann Stadium upper deck:


When asked about it after the 7-3 loss, Guthrie said he initially wanted to throw the ball out of the stadium but "thought a fan upstairs deserved a ball."

Former Tampa Bay Rays closer Fernando Rodney was asked to sit out three games in 2009 when he threw a ball into the press box following a victory. So, odds are Major League Baseball will suspend Guthrie in the near future, and that would probably be a good thing for the Royals, as they have lost his last three starts.

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

Kid Singing Through Blow Horn In Backyard Is Surprisingly Awesome

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Before these two, who call themselves The Dead Tapes, make a sound, you're pretty much expecting a disaster. Playing in a dilapidated backyard and singing through a blow horn duct taped to a microphone stand doesn't seem like it will be too promising. But boy, are these fellas going to prove you wrong. This performance of their original song, "Where Did She Go?" is way better than the majority of the crap you hear in popular music today. These kids are talented and deserve to be heard which is why we're sharing this video with you. Hit play and enjoy.

 

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Guy Pulls Evil Saran Wrap Toilet Prank On His Girlfriend

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For the life of me, I'll never understand guys who prank their girlfriends. As if relationships aren't hard enough, giving your significant other a great reason for revenge (and then filming it) just seems stupid. This guy clearly doesn't think that way, as he covers his toilet in saran wrap and waits for his girlfriend to come in and pee all over herself. They either broke up right after this or went on to a beautiful relationship full of love, caring and non-stop fear of prank retribution.

 

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Middle School Students Busted Trying to Make Pot Cookies in Home Ec. Class

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Yet the group who made the lasagna that tasted like pure dog crap got off scot-free.

According to WQAD, four students who just so happen to attend Edward Stone Middle School in Burlington, Iowa were arrested this week after trying to make pot cookies in their home economics class. And they probably would have gotten away with it if it wouldn't have been for one dork who ratted them out.
students arrested for making pot cookies
Burlington Community School District Superintendent Jane Evans said that all four students have been suspended, and since the incident is considered serious, they could all face long-term suspensions.

After being alerted by the concerned student, an assistant principal rushed into the classroom to confiscate the cookie dough before it could be baked by the students or stolen by the janitor.

Lieutenant Jeff Klein of the Burlington Police Department said two students are facing felony charges for delivering the drug while the other two are being charged with misdemeanor possession. He also praised the narc, saying, "Hats off to that individual, hats off to his parents because he did the right thing."

No word on what that student plans to do now that he doesn't have any friends.

Hey, Bill Clinton smoked weed: The Biggest Celebrity Marijuana Scandals Ever

 

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People in San Francisco Can Now Have Sex in a 'Hook-Up Truck'

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Calling themselves a conceptual "art" installation consisting of a box truck converted into a sex suite on wheels, the Hook-up Truck opens for business this weekend in San Francisco.

According to CBS San Francisco, the back of the truck doesn't have a bed, but people can plow each other on a "custom-built metal and wood bench covered with vinyl, which is stain-resistant."
hook up truck san francisco
Owner Spy Emerson said the truck will be free of charge until her lawyer can be absolutely sure that what they're doing is legal. Customers will be given free birth control, other safe sex gear, and even a video of their performance if they so desire.

Emerson also said everything is wiped down and cleaned after every use and added that "it's probably cleaner than the BART or any public toilet you've used."

Anybody interested in using the "Hook-up Truck" must be at least 21 years of age and must first register with the service online.

However, anybody looking for a quickie in the back of the truck cannot be drunk, which is ironic given the fact that most people looking to bang, especially in the back of an old box truck, usually require quite a bit of liquid courage.

At least they're humping in the back of a truck instead of doing the truck itself: The Weirdest Objects People Have Had Sex With

 

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A Hilarious Fail Compilation With Commentary By The WWE's Jim Ross

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Fail compilations are incredible as is. There is very little you could do to enhance an already perfect thing. This video is one of the exceptions, however. Simply dubbing commentary of Jim Ross from the WWE over these epic fails makes an already hilarious thing even more hilarious. It's pretty amazing how perfectly the commentary goes over each incident.

 

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Canadian Actress Cassie Steele is More Than Meets the Eye

Dichen Lachman Has a 'Lust for Love'

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