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Very Sneaky Little Dog Swipes Sausages From Two Big Dogs

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Here are three very patient dogs. They are so well-behaved that they deserve a treat. Their owner agrees and places three very generously-sized sausages before them. They are still patient and await their owners command to eat the treat. They finally get the go ahead, when little Speedy over there makes his move. There's a lesson to be learned here. Good things don't come to those who wait - good things come to those who make their move while others are waiting.

 

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Couple Arrested for Engaging in 'Sex Acts' on Church Lawn

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As is usually the case, it wasn't a couple you actually wanted to see going to town on each other.
couple busted performing sex acts on church lawn
According to The Smoking Gun, a couple in Utah was arrested last weekend for engaging in sex acts on a church lawn during some other couple's wedding.

A Salt Lake City police officer passing by Sacred Heart Catholic Church on his cruiser Saturday evening was flagged down by a concerned wedding guest. As he approached the church, he found Wilson Benally and Sandra Kruser going at it on the lawn, noting that he specifically saw Benally's "tongue and finger inside of Ms. Krusen's vagina."

Benally and Kruser initially refused the officer's request to stop expressing their love for each other, and only after the officer was forced to physically separate the two did the sex sesh come to an end, probably much to the delight of parents of the four children from the wedding party who were labeled as onlookers.

Benally's "gross lewdness" marked the 102nd time he has been arrested and thrown in the Salt Lake City clink, while it's only the 15th time Kruser has seen the inside of a jail cell.

It couldn't be confirmed, but based on what we see in the couple's mugshots, we'll assume that the crime scene smelled terrible.

If church sex isn't your thing, then give comic book sex a try: 10 of the Dirtiest Sex Scenes From Comic Books

 

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British Man Gets Accidental Vasectomy

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There's a slight chance that it's considered good luck in England, but we're pretty sure this is the exact opposite of winning the lottery.

According to Huffington Post, some poor bastard went under the knife at Royal Liverpool University Hospital for a minor urological procedure but was instead given an accidental vasectomy.
man gets accidental vasectomy
The hospital's medical director Dr. Peter Williams said in a statement that they have "apologized unreservedly" to the patient and are offering him their full support.

"We greatly regret the distress this has caused him," Williams added.

We'll assume the patient regrets it just a tad more than they do.

Nothing talks quite like cold, hard cash in 2014, and lawyers have said the man can expect a settlement to be somewhere in the six-figure range.

Royal Liverpool University Hospital is part of the National Health Service, and this isn't the first time Britain's public healthcare system has ruined somebody's life. Over a six-month period in 2013, more than 150 patients were victims of "botched procedures," including one woman who had her fallopian tube taken out instead of her appendix.

Now, if it turns out that this guy didn't want to have kids, then jackpot, baby.

Maybe an accidental vasectomy isn't as bad as concrete ass implants: The Worst Botched Surgeries and Medical Procedures

 

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The Very Best of People Fighting Inanimate Objects

Denise Schaefer Brings the Sexy

The 30,000 Calorie Burger Has Finally Arrived

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Seriously, who gives a shit about what's eating Gilbert Grape? We're more interested to see who has the stones and the stomach capacity to take down this monster.

According to the Daily Mail, a restaurant in the United Kingdom has created "The Pie-Scraper," a 30,000-calorie burger than stands 64 inches tall and contains 8.5 kilograms of beef.
pie scraper 30,000 calorie burger
The man behind what is probably the world's tallest burger is John Clarkson at Mister Eater's Eating Emporium in Preston, Lancashire. Clarkson said he researched to see if anybody had created a taller burger, but nobody has.

It took Clarkson 90 minutes to assemble his new creation, using a special metal plate to make sure it didn't topple over. His "Pie-Scraper" contains ten three-quarter pound cheeseburgers and another eleven-and-a-half pounds of beef stuffed with pies, sausage rolls, bacon butty, spam, black pudding, and spaghetti bolognese.

Clarkson doesn't expect anybody to buy one, but if someone was actually going to attempt to tackle this thing, it would set them back 150 pounds.

Apparently, the dinner table isn't the only place that the 54-year-old Clarkson can really "bring it," as he runs Mister Eater's Eating Emporium with his 39-year-old wife Corinne.

We're almost positive "The Pie-Scraper" falls under this category: Foods That Make You Poop

 

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Joy Corrigan Models Her Joyous Bod

Cindy Prado is Perfection


Kangana Ranaut Seduces Our Eyes for GQ India's May 2014 Cover

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Kangana Ranaut is the face and body of GQ India for May 2014 and very much to our liking. India's hottest actress stripteases for the camera in a classy mix of black and white shots tied together with colorful backgrounds of Sri Lanka, a beautiful part of Southeast Asia. The 27-year-old actress found her first success in Bollywood films, landing a lead part in her first role after being spotted in a coffee shop, but now Kangana is gaining recognition. We hope to see more of this pretty face on American soil as we continue to enjoy her half-naked contributions to the fashion and modeling world.

 

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Guy Pranks Hot Girlfriend With Leaf Blower and Flour

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There are many ways to test how strong your relationship is. This is one of the more extreme ways. Using a brilliantly crafted method, this guy convinces his hot girlfriend to take a leaf blower to her face. What she doesn't know is he has added a little flour to the mix for a pretty hilarious result. If she doesn't want to dump him after this, then their love is definitely real.

 

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Today's Funniest Photos

What If Hercules Was in the NFL Draft?

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The first round of the 2014 NFL Draft takes place tonight, meaning all you die-hard NFL fans will get a glimpse of the player who you will potentially love or loathe next season (except for Redskins fans; you don't have a first round pick). Although football lovers mostly enjoy this blessed event, there have been whispers of the draft growing stale with its exhaustive coverage. That got us thinking - what can be done to spice it up?

One idea is that teams could have the option of scouting outside of College Football, and target action heroes as well. So, along with analyzing Jadeveon Clowney's NFL Combine performance, GM's and coaches could consider guys like Hercules coming in and being a difference-maker on the field. Lucky for us, we have an exclusive look at what this would be like, as we acquired Hercules' "Spider Chart," which is commonly used by NFL scouts to gauge a player's physical attributes vs. his peers. Of course, Hercules' measurable are off the charts. He may not be the biggest, tallest or fastest guy in the league, but he more than makes up for it in strength, brute force and heroics. As a Bears fan, I'd be hoping he fell to #14.

hercules nfl spider chart, hercules nfl draft chart

 

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13 Classic Summer Cars With Hot Model Accompaniment

What Are People Searching for As We Head Into the 2014 NFL Draft?

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After all of the mock drafts, all of the rumors, all of the hairspray sprayed onto whatever that is atop Mel Kiper's head, the 2014 NFL Draft is finally here. In order to keep track of the biggest names and stories, Yahoo! Sports broke down all of their search trends to help you keep your eyes on the stories that matter.

2014 nfl darft

 

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A Guide to Complimenting a Stranger's Body

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Talking to strangers is a minefield of personal boundaries and interpersonal game-playing. Nobody wants to come out and say they like somebody else, and even when you do compliment another person, sometimes you end up offending that person instead (for some weird reason.)

A Guide To Complimenting A Strangers Body

 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week

Guy Scares Friend With a Paranormal Prank for Revenge

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You know what they say, payback is a creepy girl in the middle of nowhere. Or at least that's what they'll say now. Cenek (the pranker) needed to get Erik (the prankee) back for giving him sleeping pills and having him wake up in his bed in the middle of town. To switch it up a bit, Cenek took Erik far away from town to the middle of nowhere where he had two creepy figures waiting to scare Erik. One was in the middle of the road, while the other was hiding in the trunk. It's safe to say that Cenek succeeded and Erik's gonna have to step it up to top him the next go round.

 

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The 'Clean Indian' Is Fighting Public Urination in India With 'The Pissing Tanker'

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Peeing in public is apparently an epidemic in India, and one group of concerned citizens in Mumbai has taken to the streets with "The Pissing Tanker" to do something about it.

According to DNA India, "The Clean Indian" is a new anti-public urination activist group using the motto "You stop, we stop." The group has taken the fight against public urination into their own hands, literally fighting it "one spray at a time."

Armed with a massive truck boasting water cannons called "The Pissing Tanker," group members wearing white hockey masks are on the prowl for guys who are pissing on trees, walls, and as you'll see in the video below, Nike advertisements.


The group was actually quite clever on the social media front as well, posting these gems on Twitter before strangely removing their handle recently:

People who piss must be pissed on. Old jungle saying.
- The Clean Indian (@TheCleanIndian) on May 1, 2014

You're unlikely to be attacked in your toilet.
- The Clean Indian (@TheCleanIndian) on May 1, 2014


Apparently, owning a toilet in India is like having a Ferrari in America: Mr. Poo Aims to Get People in India to Stop Pooping in Public

 

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Seattle Mariners Minor League Team Overcomes 16-Run Deficit to Win

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In the type of sports story usually reserved for Hollywood, one of the players on the winning team was actually named Burt Reynolds, and of course he hit a home run.
lumberkings erase 16-run deficit and beat bees
According to Deadspin, the announced attendance last night at Community Field in Burlington, Iowa was 558, and you have to figure that most of them left for their trailer homes after their Burlington Bees took a commanding 17-1 lead over the visiting Clinton LumberKings in the fifth inning.

And that means most of them missed one of the greatest comebacks in baseball history.

The LumberKings scored six runs in the top of the sixth inning to cut the deficit to ten, thanks to two base hits, a double, triple, and home run. Five more runs in the eighth inning cut the Bees' lead to five, and by the time Marcus Littlewood came to the plate with the bases loaded in the top of the ninth, Clinton was down just a mere four runs.

Grand slam, baby.

The game would head into extra innings, and the LumberKings eventually took care of business by plating three runs in the twelfth while shutting down the Bees for the seventh consecutive inning, which we're sure sent "Louie the LumberKing" and the two or three LumberKing fans who stuck around into a frenzy.

More from America's pastime: 25 Funny Baseball Card Fails

 

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Airborne Remote Control Car Takes Little Kid Down

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Life is about trial and error. Especially as a little kid. You learn what to do and what not to do by making mistakes. In this case, this kid learned that you should never get in the way of an RC car being launched off a ramp.

 

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