10 Absurdly Lavish Toilets That Actually Exist
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Russian Courts Will Treat Teen as an Adult Because of His Penis Size
Finally, here's something out of Russia that is crazier than those dashboard camera videos of tanks zipping across the highway or robberies in rush hour traffic.
According to UPI, a 13-year-old Ukrainian boy who stands accused of stealing a cellphone will be treated as an adult in Russian court because of the size of his penis.
![teen in russian court treated as adult because of penis size]()
The boy is named Tomas, and his Ukrainian documentation indicates that he was 12 at the time of his arrest.
But this is Russia, and because of a dispute over Tomas' age, Russian prison doctors were allowed to conduct medical examinations of his teeth, as well as his twig and berries. Somehow, the examination concluded that Tomas was somewhere between 16 and 17.
Because Russian law states the age of criminal responsibility is 16, Tomas can now be treated as an adult. He was thrown in a Russian prison and will remain there until his case is reviewed by a regional prison service.
For his sake, let's hope the news of his huge boom stick is something that the rest of the prisoners don't find out about.
More fun from Russia: Funny Russian Dash Cam Fight Video Set to 'Mortal Kombat' Theme Song
According to UPI, a 13-year-old Ukrainian boy who stands accused of stealing a cellphone will be treated as an adult in Russian court because of the size of his penis.
The boy is named Tomas, and his Ukrainian documentation indicates that he was 12 at the time of his arrest.
But this is Russia, and because of a dispute over Tomas' age, Russian prison doctors were allowed to conduct medical examinations of his teeth, as well as his twig and berries. Somehow, the examination concluded that Tomas was somewhere between 16 and 17.
Because Russian law states the age of criminal responsibility is 16, Tomas can now be treated as an adult. He was thrown in a Russian prison and will remain there until his case is reviewed by a regional prison service.
For his sake, let's hope the news of his huge boom stick is something that the rest of the prisoners don't find out about.
More fun from Russia: Funny Russian Dash Cam Fight Video Set to 'Mortal Kombat' Theme Song
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UK Man Using Sex Doll to Sell His Car on eBay
And from the looks of it, she's pretty excited about doing her job.
According to the Daily Mail, a man in the UK has resorted to using a nipped-out sex doll in an effort to sell his otherwise huge pile of crap Volkswagen Golf on eBay.
![man uses sex doll to sell VW Golf]()
Angus Dean says he has used "Sandy" before to sell a ride-on mower and it "sold straight away." He hopes to get around 450 pounds for what he calls a "future classic" this time around.
Naturally, the sex doll doesn't belong to Dean. He's just using it to help sell his VW Golf, which "needs a bit of work to get back on the road." He says he borrowed "Sandy" from a friend, a married father of three who only uses her for "professional purposes."
"I've asked models if they would pose for eBay adverts before and most aren't interested in it," Dean's friend told the Daily Mail. "Poseable mannequins are ready, and do what you need them to do. You don't get the fuss you might get with models."
Um, let's be honest. If he's a married father of three, he's using Sandy for more than professional purposes.
If Sandy ever falls in a river in China, it looks like she'll be in good hands: Chinese Police Rescue Sex Doll From River
According to the Daily Mail, a man in the UK has resorted to using a nipped-out sex doll in an effort to sell his otherwise huge pile of crap Volkswagen Golf on eBay.
Angus Dean says he has used "Sandy" before to sell a ride-on mower and it "sold straight away." He hopes to get around 450 pounds for what he calls a "future classic" this time around.
Naturally, the sex doll doesn't belong to Dean. He's just using it to help sell his VW Golf, which "needs a bit of work to get back on the road." He says he borrowed "Sandy" from a friend, a married father of three who only uses her for "professional purposes."
"I've asked models if they would pose for eBay adverts before and most aren't interested in it," Dean's friend told the Daily Mail. "Poseable mannequins are ready, and do what you need them to do. You don't get the fuss you might get with models."
Um, let's be honest. If he's a married father of three, he's using Sandy for more than professional purposes.
If Sandy ever falls in a river in China, it looks like she'll be in good hands: Chinese Police Rescue Sex Doll From River
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This Has to Be the Best Dog Tackle Ever
We have no idea where or why this video was made.
But after watching it a few dozen times, there are two things we can tell you about it. One, this dog isn't named Lassie. And two, it's probably the greatest thing we've seen since the homemade Polish cannon.
This has to be something that came out of Eastern Europe, even though the guy on the left is sporting a German flag on his jacket. Meanwhile, we're pretty sure the guy who got destroyed by the pooch is sporting a pair of bruised grapes.
Who knows? Maybe this is the way they deal with people who don't pay their taxes in Bulgaria. Either way, it's one of the best videos we've ever seen.
You thinking what we're thinking? Yup, it might be time to get that dog and this cat in the ring for a pay-per-view special: Badass Cat Saves Boy From Vicious Dog Attack
But after watching it a few dozen times, there are two things we can tell you about it. One, this dog isn't named Lassie. And two, it's probably the greatest thing we've seen since the homemade Polish cannon.
This has to be something that came out of Eastern Europe, even though the guy on the left is sporting a German flag on his jacket. Meanwhile, we're pretty sure the guy who got destroyed by the pooch is sporting a pair of bruised grapes.
Who knows? Maybe this is the way they deal with people who don't pay their taxes in Bulgaria. Either way, it's one of the best videos we've ever seen.
You thinking what we're thinking? Yup, it might be time to get that dog and this cat in the ring for a pay-per-view special: Badass Cat Saves Boy From Vicious Dog Attack
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10 of the Best 'So Bad, It's Good' Movies Ever
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Man U: How to Iron a Shirt
Our last episode of Man U taught you how to shave. Now you have to clean up your wardrobe. Stop pulling rumpled shirts out of the dirty laundry. You look like a schlubby college kid. Get your act together with our foolproof guide to ironing a shirt for the perfect clean and crisp look. And remember, always take your shirt off before you start ironing it.
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Real-Life Backgrounds Filled in With Movie and TV Scenes on an iPhone
Just when you think everything that could possibly be posted on the Internet has been posted, along comes someone else to add to the mix. Photographer Francis Dourlen has made it his mission to bring all of our favorite films and television shows to life ... sort of. He grabs screenshots of well known movies, TV shows and cartoons on his iPhone and holds them up in various settings to create the awesomely hilarious outcomes you'll see below. You can check out the whole collection on his Facebook page, but here are some of our favorites.
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11 Brand Spanking New Photos of Amy-Jane Brand
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Today's Funny Photos
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15 Women Reveal the Worst Things Guys Do to Try and Impress Them
The things that guys have done to try and impress women is completely astounding. The main reason it's so astounding is because most of the time we have no idea how to do it. "Should I cut the sleeves off my shirt?" Why? Why would you need to do that? Instead of hearing from a guy on the topic, a group of women revealed the worst thing guys do to try and impress them. Take notes, fellas, you may have been doing it wrong.
1. Creepy Guys
Walking up to a girl who is just relaxing and telling her to smile is the worst. GTFO OF HERE. It's not cute or endearing. I don't really want to be with a man who is already correcting me and we aren't even acquaintances. Sod right off.
2. The Gym
Guys at the gym that start grunting and thrusting dramatically while working out when a female is present.
3. The Camera Roll
One time, a guy was showing me some picture he took on his phone. As he's scrolling, tons of nudes from other girls pop up in his camera roll. Like WTF, dude, this is our first date, I don't want to see sketchy pictures like that. At least save them to another album.
4. Bad Lines
Trying to be classy when it's sexy time. It's just creepy. True story, my now-husband and I were getting busy in the shower. He was giving me some fingering action and after checking out the goods, he blurted out, "Mmmm you're really starting to blossom." The muffin shop immediately closed its doors until further notice over that little chestnut.
5. A Tip of the Hat
One time a guy kept saying "m'lady." Uh, no.
6. So Blessed
When they say, "I could be with any girl right now, but I chose you." GOD BLESS YOU. OMG SO BLESSED.
7. Look At This Photograph
I once had a guy try to impress me by telling me he had seen Nickleback in concert 5 times. It didn't work.
8. Revving It Up
I once went on a second date with a guy who came to pick me up. I live in apartments and try to be super considerate of my neighbors all the time. As soon as I get in his car he starts revving his engine super loud. A.) I'm not impressed by that, whatsoever, and B.) I'm sure none of my neighbors appreciated the noise. That was our last date.
9. Dirty Talk
Not me, but an old friend of mine. He's a really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. A total gentleman and a graduate student in the liberal arts. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative and vanilla sexually.
He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. She is much kinkier in bed. She floats the idea of dirty talk and apparently likes to be objectified, even demeaned a bit, from time to time. He's hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn't dismiss the idea outright. Changes the subject and figures that they'll revisit the idea another time.
Anyway, they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. They're really going at it, doggie-style, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fucking requesting, but demanding it. He comes up with: "Yeah, you like that, you fucking retard?"
10. The Little Lies
The biggest one for me is lying about the things he's into just because I said I said I'm into those things. If you've never seen "Blade Runner," for example, don't say you have just because it's my favorite film. I can always tell when they're lying about this and I don't think its sweet.
11. The Ultimate Sin
Pick up a guitar during a party and play "Wonderwall."
12. Humble Brag
Immediately bragging or showing off within 5 minutes of conversation. That includes how much you make, your job, etc. One guy at a bar last week grabbed my arm to shout in my ear, "I HAD CANCER WHEN I WAS A KID." Yeah, don't do that.
13. Casual Racism
Went out with a dude I got set up with. He seemed OK, albeit not my type. But I'm like, whatever. We'll eat and have an alright time. Nope. We get to the restaurant and as soon as our (Latina) waitress leaves, he starts spewing all of this garbage about "Mexicans," saying they're lazy and that he wanted a new server. Awful. I just looked at him, went "Lamento que te sientas asi," and broke out of there.
14. The Other Number
When they tell me how many girls they have slept with. Most of the time they are lying, and if they aren't then ... eww.
15. *Deleted*
Dick pics. You're gross.
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The Funniest GIFs of the Week
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The Official Guide to Birthday Parties by Age
Birthday parties. They tend to lose their luster as we age. With the exception of your 21st, they really are never as fun as when you were a kid. That's why we've created this handy guide to birthday parties as you age and everything you can expect from each as you hit life's major milestones.
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Canadian Man Arrested for Masturbating With a Cucumber in a Library
Looks like Frederick Tennyson Davis is giving "Florida Man" a run for his money.
According to the Sun News, Davis was arrested and charged with committing an indecent act and two counts of failure to comply with his probation last week after he sat down next to a woman in a Toronto library and began masturbating while holding a cucumber in his other hand.
![Man arrested for masturbating in library with cucumber]()
Toronto police said this isn't the first time Davis has punched his clown while holding the accessory fruit in his other hand at the Agincourt Library in the city's Scarborough area.
In April, a woman complained that Davis sat down next to her, opened his laptop and again began cranking one out while holding a cucumber in his other hand. He was also charged in a similar incident at a library in Markham, Ontario, in June 2012.
Authorities think there are more victims in this case and are urging people to come forward with information.
But they're also keeping their sense of humor about it.
When asked if Davis had posed a threat to any other library patrons, an officer told the Sun News, "I don't think he had any free hands to make a threat."
Think jerking it while holding a cucumber is weird? Check out these books: The 40 Weirdest Books Of All Time
According to the Sun News, Davis was arrested and charged with committing an indecent act and two counts of failure to comply with his probation last week after he sat down next to a woman in a Toronto library and began masturbating while holding a cucumber in his other hand.
Toronto police said this isn't the first time Davis has punched his clown while holding the accessory fruit in his other hand at the Agincourt Library in the city's Scarborough area.
In April, a woman complained that Davis sat down next to her, opened his laptop and again began cranking one out while holding a cucumber in his other hand. He was also charged in a similar incident at a library in Markham, Ontario, in June 2012.
Authorities think there are more victims in this case and are urging people to come forward with information.
But they're also keeping their sense of humor about it.
When asked if Davis had posed a threat to any other library patrons, an officer told the Sun News, "I don't think he had any free hands to make a threat."
Think jerking it while holding a cucumber is weird? Check out these books: The 40 Weirdest Books Of All Time
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Man Purchases Penis Enlarger Online But Is Sent a Magnifying Glass Instead
You have to give the orchestrator of this scam some props. I mean, that's pretty damn funny.
According to The Star, a Malaysian man isn't very happy after buying a penis enlarger online but getting a magnifying glass with the sole instructions, "Do not use in sunlight," shipped to him instead.
![man buys penis enlarger online gets magnifying glass instead]()
The man's name is Ong, and he probably made the right choice by not disclosing his full name to reporters. Ong said he dropped nearly $140 on what he thought was going to be a penis enlargement device, but was shocked when he opened the box and found just the magnifying glass.
Malaysian authorities said men and women have lost nearly $25,000 already this year due to scams like this one. Meanwhile, lawyer Alex Kok said it's very difficult to sue the scammers because of the "dubious nature of the business."
"It's especially hard if there is no proof of purchase, such as receipts," Kok said. "We wouldn't know who to sue or where and how to sue them.
Plus, you have to think those who have fallen prey to a scam like this would be pretty reluctant to take the stand and testify that they have a small dick.
Hey, at least he didn't order a mushroom and get a sex toy sent to him instead: Chinese TV Station Confuses Sex Toy for Mushroom
According to The Star, a Malaysian man isn't very happy after buying a penis enlarger online but getting a magnifying glass with the sole instructions, "Do not use in sunlight," shipped to him instead.
The man's name is Ong, and he probably made the right choice by not disclosing his full name to reporters. Ong said he dropped nearly $140 on what he thought was going to be a penis enlargement device, but was shocked when he opened the box and found just the magnifying glass.
Malaysian authorities said men and women have lost nearly $25,000 already this year due to scams like this one. Meanwhile, lawyer Alex Kok said it's very difficult to sue the scammers because of the "dubious nature of the business."
"It's especially hard if there is no proof of purchase, such as receipts," Kok said. "We wouldn't know who to sue or where and how to sue them.
Plus, you have to think those who have fallen prey to a scam like this would be pretty reluctant to take the stand and testify that they have a small dick.
Hey, at least he didn't order a mushroom and get a sex toy sent to him instead: Chinese TV Station Confuses Sex Toy for Mushroom
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The 18 Hottest 2014 World Cup WAGs
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If 'Seinfeld' Was a Facebook Newsfeed: Part 1
Seinfeld is one of America's greatest TV shows. Facebook is one of America's greatest social networks. It's only natural then, to combine the two and see what it would look like if the show was narrated entirely through a Facebook newsfeed.
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Yet Another Epic 'Wheel of Fortune' Fail
I believe it was Harry Dunne who once said, "Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this."
Except there was nothing redeeming about "Wheel of Fortune" contestant Stephen's answer to this insanely easy puzzle on last night's episode of the hit game show:
Did he really just guess the answer to that was "Surf Clay, Where We Go"?
Look, I haven't been a "Wheel" watcher since my grandma died, but I'm pretty sure you're still not able to add words and change others that have already been established. I mean, that guess was so pathetic that Stephen is lucky they didn't hook up a car battery to his nipples and electrocute him.
Some are calling this the "dumbest Wheel of Fortune guess ever" and based on what we've seen, we're going to have to go ahead and agree with them on that.
And just in case this video gets taken down, here's a high-quality Vine of the "Wheel of Fortune" fail:
Although, if you're looking for a solid candidate for runner-up, check this one out: This Is The Worst 'Wheel of Fortune' Contestant Of All Time
Except there was nothing redeeming about "Wheel of Fortune" contestant Stephen's answer to this insanely easy puzzle on last night's episode of the hit game show:
Did he really just guess the answer to that was "Surf Clay, Where We Go"?
Look, I haven't been a "Wheel" watcher since my grandma died, but I'm pretty sure you're still not able to add words and change others that have already been established. I mean, that guess was so pathetic that Stephen is lucky they didn't hook up a car battery to his nipples and electrocute him.
Some are calling this the "dumbest Wheel of Fortune guess ever" and based on what we've seen, we're going to have to go ahead and agree with them on that.
And just in case this video gets taken down, here's a high-quality Vine of the "Wheel of Fortune" fail:
Although, if you're looking for a solid candidate for runner-up, check this one out: This Is The Worst 'Wheel of Fortune' Contestant Of All Time
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Awesome Free Games You Should Already Have On Your Phone
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Mandatory Viewing: Episode Three
Welcome back to Mandatory Viewing, our weekly show where men talk sports, pop culture, and really weird Internet videos they hope their children will never see. This week's episode touches on Rihanna's see-through diamond dress (and twerking), the most bad-ass judge you will ever see and much more.
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Today's Funniest Photos
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More Pages to Explore .....
