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Man Jumps Into Water in Sydney Harbour Wearing GoPro, Lands Next to Shark

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Yes, the first very obvious question you have to ask yourself after watching this heart-stopping, terrifying video is, "Real or fake?" I don't know for sure either way, but if this were to happen to me for real, I would probably die of a heart attack before the shark could do the trick. The video was uploaded by user Terry Tufferson, and shows the first-person POV of a swimmer who jumps off Manly's Jump Rock in Sydney Harbour, Australia, and is then approached by a great white shark once in the water. What would you do if this happened to you?

 

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Mandatory Viewing: Episode Four

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Welcome to our weekly show where men talk sports, politics, current events, and really weird Internet videos they hope their children will never see. This week: what women want from a one-night-stand, the 'sport' of cheerleading, tales from outer space and much more.

 

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Lena Gercke is a Gorgeous World Cup WAG

Today's Funny Photos

The 10 Most Famous Unresolved Celebrity Rumors

Bae Come Over: How Far Guys Will Go For a Little Action

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When there is some sweet, sweet lovin' on the table, guys will do just about anything to see their girl. Nowhere is that more apparent than in the very enjoyable Bae Come Over meme.
















And last but not least, probably the most realistic of the bunch ...

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

If Whole Foods Receipts Were Honest

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Everyone loves a trip to Whole Foods. Their selection is so extensive and everything is incredibly healthy, right? Right?! But then you get to the cashier and watch in horror as this week's groceries end up putting you in serious debt for the next few years. The least they could do is be honest about it all. This is what every Whole Foods receipt should actually say.

 

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With More Dads Like These, the World Would Be a Better Place

Florida Man Gets Year in Jail After Epic Court Rant

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Let's be honest. Telling somebody to "suck your d**k" usually isn't a good idea, especially when the person you're talking to has the power to lock you up in a place where you could wind up doing the sucking.

Christopher Colon was in Broward County Bond Court on Thursday afternoon, facing charges of domestic battery, and he was apparently under the impression that Judge John "Jay" Hurley would let him return home before the trial.

But when Hurley informed him that wasn't going to be the case, Colon went off on a rant so epic and vulgar that it made 2 Live Crew sound like a Christian rap group:


We're still trying to determine which moment was funnier. On one hand, listening to old man Judge Hurley read over the names Colon called his alleged victim - like "the p-word" and "racist-ass, white-ass cracker" - was hysterical.

On the other hand, listening to Colon tell Judge Hurley that he was "dead-ass serious" about Hurley sucking his d**k just might be the 2014 equivalent of "Give me liberty, or give me death!"

Speaking of epic rants: Man From Mars Won't Take Orders From Women

 

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Chinese Man Who Got His Penis Stuck in a Pipe Says He Slipped While Painting

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Telling doctors your penis became lodged in an air-conditioning pipe still attached to the wall because you slipped while painting in the nude is probably the biggest line of crap we have ever heard. In fact, it's so big that it just might be true.

According to UPI, a Chinese man waited two days before finally seeking medical help to remove his manhood from an air-conditioning pipe, something he said happened because he slipped while painting in the nude.

chinese man gets penis stuck in pipe
61-year-old Lian Tien said he tried "everything he could think of to get the damned thing off once it got stuck." That included cutting the pipe from the wall, pouring oil and liquid soap down the sides of his penis and sleeping.

After two days of trying to dislodge his "manhood" from the pipe, Tien finally decided to see a doctor because his boom stick had become "red and inflamed." But doctors said his genitals were so swollen that they couldn't do anything for him. Firefighters were called to the hospital, and after four hours of maneuvering and cutting, they were finally able to separate Tien from the pipe.

It couldn't be confirmed, but we're sure Tien would have sought help right away if the pipe had been a tad larger.

Hey, these guys shamelessly stuck their dicks in inanimate objects: The Weirdest Objects People Have Had Sex With

 

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Off-Duty Cop Saves Man's Life After Fiery Gas Station Crash

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Whoa. Last week, off-duty police officer John Vescio was pumping gas at a station in Westchester County, New York, when out of nowhere a car crashed into the pump he was using and immediately started a fire. After initially being injured by the wreck and running to safety, Vescio (wearing the #13 jersey in the video) returned to the carnage when he realized the driver was trapped inside the car. After a bit of a struggle, he was able to pull the man out and drag him to safety, and is now being heralded as a hero (rightfully so). For the full story, visit News12 Westchester.

 

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Worst Prank Ever Fails to Get Reaction Out of Victim

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There are a lot of good pranks out there. This is not one of them. The idea is highly unoriginal and not very creative. However, the reaction of the victim, who has clearly had a horrible day, really makes prank screw-up hilarious. The cherry on top is the little kid involved. Keep your eye on him at the 1:02 mark.

 

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Paraplegic Sues Hospital After Surgery Shortens His Penis

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Wow. Is this guy the unluckiest son of a bitch of all-time or what?

According to Huffington Post, a Canadian man is suing a hospital near Montreal for negligence after a surgery they performed on him not only shortened his penis but also prevented him from having sex, a deadly combo that ruined his marriage.
paraplegic sues hospital after surgery shortens penis
The man, who is also a paraplegic, even went as far as saying the surgery had caused a greater impact on his life than when he lost the use of his legs.

After initially injuring his penis while having sex with his wife in 2011, the man said neither the on-site nurse nor the off-site urologist ever physically inspected his manhood, so he was misdiagnosed with "minor trauma." Unable to have sex in the three months that followed, the man sought a second opinion, which revealed he actually had a fractured penis.

Surgery followed, and not only was the man's love muscle left with a permanent scar, but it also lost about an inch in length. The man said he was unable to have sex for two years, and his wife left him as a result.

He is seeking $155,000 in damages, which to us also sounds like it would be a little on the short side.

Time to make room for a new entry: The Worst Botched Surgeries and Medical Procedures

 

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Melissa Satta Will Satisfy You


The Lovely Spencer Grammer Is Set to Follow in Dad's Footsteps

Today's Funny Photos

These People Should Not Be Allowed on Instagram

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Ah, Instagram. The social network that anyone can join and immediately begin sharing photos they take with their friends and the rest of the world. What could possibly go wrong? Well, as you will see with the following series of photos, a whole bunch of things. We're not exactly sure why the people who posted these photos chose to do so, but we hope they'll delete their counts before all hope for humanity is completely nonexistent.



















 

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Animals Sure Do Like to Photobomb Family Vacation Photos

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Summertime means family vacations. Family vacations mean photos with (and of) the ones you love. And let's be honest, no one really cares to see those photos except the people in them. Unless you are lucky enough to be photobombed by an animal on your vacation. In that case, everyone on the Internet wants to see them. Here are some of the best instances of animals photobombing family vacation photos.

























 

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Kacey Barnfield Is the Queen of Bustyville

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