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Today's Funny Photos


English Man Walks Into Bank, Poops Several Times, Walks Out

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I guess you could technically say that the man made a deposit.

According to the Daily Star, a middle-aged man walked into the Barclays Bank in Andovers, England, on Friday and pooped several times in different areas of the bank before calmly walking out.
Barclays Bank Pooper
The man entered the bank around lunchtime wearing shorts and flip-flops and "deposited multiple poops on the floor."

Gareth McCarthy witnessed the shit show and said he wasn't really paying that much attention to the man until he "noticed a foul but unmistakable smell."

"He didn't say anything at all," McCarthy said. "But you can tell from his face that he looked angry. It's quite clear what he was doing - he just had this calm but angry look on his face, as he walked around leaving special deposits on the floor. And then as calmly as he walked in, he left."

The man's poop sesh forced the bank to close temporarily while several employees/poor bastards cleaned up his crap.

Odds are the man ingested something off of this menu. Well, either that or Taco Bell: Foods That Make You Poop

 

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The Cleveland Indians Turned the Craziest Triple Play Last Night

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The Los Angeles Dodgers made history Tuesday night, but they were on the wrong end of it.

The Dodgers left the bases loaded three times in the first five innings of the 10-3 ass-pounding they suffered at the hands of the Cleveland Indians, but perhaps the most embarrassing part of their evening took place in the bottom of the fourth inning when they ran themselves into the first ever triple play that required the use of instant replay.


With Dee Gordon on third base and Yasiel Puig on first with nobody out, Adrian Gonzalez lifted a short fly ball to Michael Brantley in left field for the first out. Gordon decided to tag up but was thrown out at home by a perfect one-hop throw from Brantley for out number two. Then, as Cleveland catcher Yan Gomes showed the home plate umpire that he still had possession of the baseball, Puig attempted to take second base and was thrown out by a dart from Gomes for the third out.

But what made this triple play historical was the fact that Puig was initially ruled safe, so Indians manager Terry Francona was forced to challenge the call. Upon further review, the umpires determined Puig was actually out at second base, and the Indians were credited with a triple play.

However, Dodgers manager Don Mattingly then challenged the call at home plate, but that one wasn't even close. So, if you were keeping score at home, it should have been marked 7 to 2 to 4 to the replay booth for a great challenge and back to the replay booth for a dumb one. History made.

Another Must-See Baseball Clip: Probably the Best Throw You Will Ever See

 

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These NASCAR Tattoos Are Totally Insane

The 13 Hottest Babes of '90s Television

Man University: How to Fix a Flat

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In this week's episode of Man U we'll teach you how to change a tire. And no, we won't be telling you to call AAA.

 

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How She Feels vs. How You Pretend to Feel vs. How You Really Feel

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Dating is tough. Honesty is important in every relationship, but it also doesn't hurt to hide certain feelings in order to maintain the peace. Here's a breakdown of what typically runs through the mind of every guy as he tries to react properly to all of the ups and downs of a relationship.

 

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Surprising Flavor Combinations for the BBQ


Cowgirl Alana Pallister Will Make You Swell Up With American Pride

Warren Sapp Stiffed a Bartender Because She Called Him a 'Boy'

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Warren Sapp was part of a 59-page bankruptcy filing last year, so the fact that he is being accused of leaving a little less than the norm for a tip isn't all that shocking.

But according to Deadspin, the reason why Sapp stiffed a waitress while watching the World Cup at the Upper Deck Ale and Sports Grille in Hallandale Beach, Florida, on Tuesday is beyond ridiculous.

Warren Sapp leaves zero for tip
After racking up what might actually be the healthiest meal he has ever chowed on, Sapp felt inclined to leave nothing for a tip on a bar bill that fell just shy of seventy bucks.

His reason? The waitress kept referring to Sapp and his friends as "boys."

Sapp argued that the waitress's service was terrible, and she kept asking if he and his "boys" were OK with everything. The waitress maintains that she did everything in her power to make sure Sapp was happy with his experience, including refilling his bucket of Heinekens with ice to make sure they didn't get warm.

Either way, a zero-dollar tip from a former NFL player, especially one that has played in this millennium, is pretty pathetic.

We might have to redo this post because I'm pretty sure Sapp's stiff qualifies here: These are the Most Obnoxious Tips Anyone Has Ever Left

 

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Houston Rockets Dis Jeremy Lin by Pitching Carmelo Anthony in a #7 Jersey

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What is the "key" to an NBA championship in the city of Houston?
Carmelo Anthony Jeremy Lin Rockets Jersey
According to a billboard inside the Toyota Center, Carmelo Anthony wearing #7 in a Rockets jersey is the key. The only problem with that? Point guard Jeremy Lin currently wears #7 for the Houston Rockets.

Anthony is one of several superstars who are being coveted by multiple teams in what might be the most impressive class of free agents the NBA has seen in quite some time. But considering the fact that the Rockets could have used 83 other numbers to put on that jersey, you have to wonder what Lin was left thinking after the #7 billboard was published.

To his credit, Lin only tweeted a Bible verse after learning of the billboard:
Obviously, the Rockets aren't the only team wooing Anthony this offseason. But you don't see the Chicago Bulls throwing him up on the Jumbotron wearing Derrick Rose's #1 jersey, right?

Who knows? Maybe Anthony will wind up in South Bitch: ESPN Analyst Says Shabazz Napier Will Keep it Going in 'South Bitch'

 

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Jennifer Lyons: Blonde, Buxom, Beautiful

Is There Anything the Sexy Laura Bell Bundy Can't Do?

Tech's 2014 Summer Steals

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With all the tech announcements in the air, the bright side of summer, other than the obvious, is the number of comparable steals and deals you'll find as stores discount products in order to make room for the industry's latest models. If you can't find something in here for yourself, it might be time to buy that sustainable tree house in Costa Rica. Prices subject to change with time.

Ion Air Pro Wi-Fi Camera $139summer tech, ion air pro
Down from: $349 (Amazon)

The lightweight waterproof 4.5-ounce action cam is making its way into the hands-free high definition world of video capturing quicker than coke lines off a Tijuana toilet top. Shot with a simple one-touch function, Air Pro records in real time and allows you to share your 730 and 1080 images immediately to your social media. Oh, and you get a free 8GB iCloud storage and free shipping too. Let the interactive videos of you spying on your neighbor whilst hanging upside down from a tree commence.


DeWalt 6-Tool 18-Volt Combo Set $489
Down from: $1,197 (Amazon)
summer tech, dewalt 18-volt combo set
Go from bloody knuckling screws with your bare hands to becoming the next Bob Vila with a 6-piece electric drill set from one of the best tool brands out there, nearly 60 percent off. The three-speed hammer drill and circular saw alone will make your life a whole lot easier and more constructive. All the tools, including the reciprocating saw and cut-off tool are 18-volt - a good amount of volts - and the package includes a hands-free floodlight, three-year parts warranty and a year of free service. Not only can you afford to put together that little treehouse for some summer loving, you can build a whole community of treehouses now. Unless of course it's for your kids -- then maybe set some ground rules on the summer loving.


iPhone 5S 16GB $1summer tech, iphone 5s
Down from: $199 with two-year contract (Best Buy)

With the new iPhones expected to rear their skinny faces in the early fall, Best Buy is taking advantage and offering the most current model for only a buck, so long as you promise - for better or worse - to commit to two years with them and trade in your old phone. Most people will suck as many--I mean they'll do just about anything for the new iPhone when it comes out, but we all know it'll be sold out for weeks and backordered, so if you need a new phone and don't really give a damn about being on top of trends, this is a steal of a techie deal.


Sony Smartwatch 1 Android Bluetooth $70summer tech, sony smartwatch
Down from: $149 (Amazon)

It keeps you up-to-date with texts, emails, music and social media in addition to the time, of course, when you're away from your computer, phone and tablet. The 1.3" multi-touch LED display is one of the first models of a booming new wearable technology trend. Expect lots of these models to come out soon from various brands, including a big Apple announcement in the not-so-distant future. Just when you thought you could escape technology just to go for a run, they give you something else to carry around. Well done. You're officially a robot.


Apple iPad Mini 16GB $199
Down from: $299 (Target)summer tech deals, ipad mini

It might not be as big or fancy as the iPad Air, but the original iPad Mini (without retina) is going for about as cheap as an Apple product has ever gone. After announcing the big upgrade with their second model, Apple offered their first model at a modest $229, but Best Buy once again rolls out the summer deals for us with more than 30 percent off on a perfectly charming travel companion in the Mini. There are also rumors of a third model coming quickly. As far as quality goes, I guess it depends how good your vision is, and how much you care what other people think about showing up late to the party. Just get it. You'll have fun.

summer tech deals, asus laptop
Asus Laptop 15.6" Bundle ($269)
Down from: $369 (offers.com)

Let's be honest. Everybody wants an Apple, but not everybody wants to pay for one. If you're not in need of anything that done up - you like to keep it simple - you can get a perfectly decent Asus laptop, the same size as Apple's MacBook Pro - slightly bigger actually - for dirt cheap. That includes free shipping. You're welcome.


39" Insignia 720 LED HDTV $249summer tech deals, insignia 39-inch tv
Down from: $299 (Best Buy)

LED HDTVs are all the rage, at least until people get into the curvy 4K 3D ones that will eventually transport Jason Statham into your living room. For now, this is a great deal, a decent size TV - not too big, not too small - with solid 720 resolution from a reliable brand name, cheap as fuck. And fuck is pretty cheap when it comes to TVs. And for a hundred bucks more ($349), you can get the 1080p set by Panasonic, not a bad deal there.


Panasonic Lumix GX1 $499
Down from: $799 (Amazon)
summer tech deals, panasonic lumix
With new camera models typically released in summertime, popular older models go on discount. But with cameras like Panasonic's Lumix - it's an artistic camera photographers love to have - these cameras rarely see this good of a deal. Canon's big cameras are great, but they're a load to carry around. This handheld beauty is perfect for your travels, as well as photographing your girlfriend while she sleeps.

summer tech deals, apple macbook air
Apple Macbook Air 13.3" 128GB Storage $899
Down from: $999 (Best Buy)

Rarely can you score a discount on an Apple computer unless it's refurbished, that is, used and already covered in another man's juices. The long in short is that you get a small laptop with a smaller amount of storage (128GB instead of 256GB), but if it's simple tasks you need it for and you own a hard drive, it's a pretty good bargain on the table from the folks of Best Buy.


Apple iPad Smart Covers $9.99summer tech deals, ipad smart covers
Down from: $40 (Tanga)

This is why we can't have a nice things; we never take the time to protect them, except in the case of the iPad Smart Cover case. Tanga has all the pretty covers you can dream of for your iPads (models 2-4). And if you want one of the new iPad Air models to go with it, you can find them on Best Buy for up to $100 off, as well. Don't you just love me for this?


Scosche FreeKey Pro Wireless Bluetooth Keyboard ($10.25)summer tech deals, smart keyboard
Down from: $79 (Tanga)

It's easier to make your iPad into a laptop these days with Bluetooth's smart keyboards, and Scosche makes a very comfortable looking keyboard with a leather border, perfect to lean your wrists up against. She's nothing fancy, but it's a hell of a lot better than typing on your touch screen, getting your greasy french fry finger smudges so caked on you can't read the screen.

 

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Today's Funny Photos


10 Cheesy-Looking Comedies That Are Surprisingly Funny

One-Armed Man Fined for Riding Bike With One Brake

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What's next, fining a guy with one leg for excessive hopping?

According to Gawker, a one-armed German man was recently fined 20 euros - or like 60 thousand dollars - for riding a bike with only one hand brake even though he only has one arm.
http://gawker.com/man-with-only-one-arm-fined-for-riding-his-bike-with-on-1599439572/+samer
German law requires that all bike riders have two handbrakes, but Bogdan Ionescu fitted his bike with a left handbrake and right footbrake since he only has one arm. That wasn't good enough for a German police officer who pulled him over in March and leveled him with a 20 euro fine.

Ionescu argued with authorities, but only after his story was published in a German newspaper did the fine finally get dismissed.

"It's great news, I'm really happy," he told Kölner Stadtanzeiger. "It's good that this is how it ends, it's unbelievably good."

No word on what the German police have in store for an encore, but we're sure somewhere there's some bastard who used one too many pennies from the penny dish to pay for his soda last week that could use a good spanking.

Sadly, American cops might be worse: NYPD Officers Sued Over White Castle Sliders

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

15 of the Most Entertaining Vines Ever Made

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Most of us have come to the realization that Vine is a desolate wasteland where comedy goes to die. There are so many people on there that a lot of it is just pure junk. Nonetheless there are the occasional gems. We waded through mounds of putrid garbage to find 15 of the most entertaining and most popular Vines ever made. Get ready for the best six seconds you've had since that one night you don't speak of anymore.


1. Taylor Swift Goat Remix


2. The Pool Dunk


3. Shovel Girl (Kendrick Lamar Remix)

4. The Simpsons Floating Hand


5. DMX Llama


6. The Office Dog

7. Hunter Fell


8. Quicksand


9. Egginem



10. Jay-Z's Accountant


11. The Smoothest Skateboarder Ever


12. My Parents Aren't Home



13. Failed Magic Trick


14. The Crack Kid


15. This one is too amazing not to have on this list

 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week

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