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Mark Twain Meets With Studio Execs About Making a Movie - 'ThisIsMarkTwain@aol.com'

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Things are going pretty well for Mark Twain in this week's episode of "ThisIsMarkTwain@aol.com." Two big Hollywood executives are interested in making a movie out of "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," and they are trying to get M.T. on board. The only problem is, they are overly excited about taking the book to some interesting new places on the big screen, and Twain may have issues with that. Or will he?

For more funny original content, subscribe to Mandatory's YouTube channel and be sure to follow Mark Twain on Twitter.

 

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Mandatory Viewing: The Best Ad Banned from TV

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Welcome to Mandatory Viewing -- our weekly show where men talk sports, politics, current events, and really weird Internet videos they hope their children will never see. This week: Britain's ad so sexy it's been banned, the dangers of riding shotgun, and much more.

 

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Alabama Man Mistakenly Gets Penis Amputated Instead of Circumcised

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Unless this guy's father was an earthworm, that thing is pretty much a lost cause.

According to Huffington Post, an Alabama man went into a Birmingham hospital for a routine circumcision last month but instead woke up without a penis.
man gets accidental penis amputation instead of circumcision
Johnny Lee Banks Jr. and his wife Zelda Banks are suing the Princeton Baptist Medical Center and doctors for medical malpractice for mistakenly removing his baby maker. Even crazier, Banks and his wife never received an explanation as to how in the hell something like this could happen.

Doctors had been treating Banks for unnamed conditions that led to the botched circumcision before what can only be described as the worst-case scenario took place.

The lawsuit says that "the mistaken amputation has caused the man extreme pain, and that his wife also is suffering."

Um, no shit.

The hospital released a statement saying the lawsuit lacked merit, but if the victim's claims are true, the lack of a boom stick should be all the evidence he'll need to win the case.

On the bright side, maybe this means his wife won't cheat on him: The Bigger Your Penis, The More Likely Your Wife Will Cheat

 

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16 Photos of Old People Partying That Prove You Are Never Too Old to Have a Good Time

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Old people were young people once. Never forget that. They drank and partied and did all of the other stupid things you did (or are still doing). Apparently, some of them never grow out of their party phase. Here are 16 amazing photos of old people getting crazy.

funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people
funny old people

 

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Today's Funny Photos

The Wins and Fails of the 'Share a Coke With' Name Campaign

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It's safe to say the "Share a Coke With" campaign has paid off. The Internet has exploded with free publicity for the soft drink giant simply because people are sharing images of their names on Coke products. But, just like anything else out in the world, you don't get to be popular without the Internet bringing its best and its worst at you. Here are the best and the worst of both real and fake names that we could round up:

Let's start with this one that probably came straight from Comic-Con.
funny coke bottles, coke bottle names, share a coke with
Never forget, "Breaking Bad" fans.
funny coke bottles, coke bottle names, share a coke with
Have you seen this boy?
funny coke bottles, coke bottle names, share a coke with
If you don't understand this reference, you need to watch this clip immediately.
funny coke bottles, coke bottle names, share a coke with


Ah, the classic Coke nativity scene ...
funny coke bottles, coke bottle names, share a coke with
Um...
funny coke bottles, coke bottle names, share a coke with

funny coke bottles, coke bottle names, share a coke with

funny coke bottles, coke bottle names, share a coke with

funny coke bottles, coke bottle names, share a coke with
Just gonna leave this one here.
funny coke bottles, coke bottle names, share a coke with
And if you have a name like mine, you can relate to this:
funny coke bottles, coke bottle names, share a coke with

 

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Indian Kid Has 232 Teeth Removed From His Mouth

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Let's be honest, there isn't enough Mountain Dew on the planet to rot away all of those chompers.

According to the BBC, a 17-year-old kid in India might have set the world record for most teeth in a human mouth after doctors removed 232 of them during a recent surgery.

Indian kid has 232 teeth removed
Ashik Gavai traveled to Mumbai after 18 months of suffering and swelling, and doctors said that if he would have waited any longer, the plethora of teeth could have broken his jaw.

It took almost seven hours to remove enough teeth from Gavai's pie hole to give him a semi-normal set of 28. Doctors said they couldn't cut out most of Gavai's ivories, so they had to resort to using a chisel and a hammer to remove the hundreds of "little pearl-like teeth."

Gavai's condition was obviously very rare, and doctors said it was a result of a benign tumor in his lower jaw. Similar tumors had yielded as much as 37 teeth in the past, but doctors planned on contacting the "Guinness Book of World Records" in Gavai's case.

Much like "most weight lifted by eye sockets," Gavai's probable world record is one that most people wouldn't want to hold: 10 World Records That Nobody Should Have Wanted

 

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Minor League GM Gets a Prostate Exam While Singing 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game'

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Finally, here's a valid reason for making your way to the parking lot before the ninth inning.

According to Deadspin, the general manager of the Myrtle Beach Pelicans - the Texas Rangers' Single-A affiliate - got a prostate exam in front of the crowd while singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" during the seventh-inning stretch of last night's 5-4 victory over the Frederick Keys.


Andy Milovich told reporters the procedure wasn't that bad, as Dr. Glenn Dangi had pretty much finished in about 15 seconds. He had promised to get the live prostate exam done if a 10-year-old kid with brain cancer received 10,000 likes on his Facebook page.

In addition to watching Milovich get a finger or two jammed up his anus, the first 1,000 men attending last night's game received a large foam finger.

The live prostate exam during a baseball game was not only a first for Milovich but also Dr. Dangi, who told reporters after the game that even though he had performed numerous exams in prisons for three years and New York City for 17 years, this was his first at a sporting event.

A mid-game prostate exam is almost as crazy as these minor league mascots: 9 Minor League Mascots You Never Knew Existed

 

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Street Art Combined With Real World Surroundings Is Pretty Awesome

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Sometimes we take the things we see every single day for granted. That's where street artists come in. They very cleverly use their surroundings to create pieces of art that are very enjoyable. Here are some of the best examples that have made their way around the ol' Web.

Street Art Nature, Cool Street Art, Clever Street Art, Funny Street Art










via Tumblr

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

Girls in Bikinis Getting Photobombed

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If there's one thing summer is good for, it's making memories. For girls, the most important thing is documenting those memories - at the beach, pool or wherever they are having summer fun. For the guys (and some dogs), it's all about photobombing these summer babes in the most hilarious manner possible.

hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs
hot girls getting photobombed, bikini photo bombs

 

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Seldom Heard Stories Behind 10 Classic Rock Songs

Mother Claims Her Huge Fake Boobs Improve Her Parenting

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Hot Mom, Fake Boobs
Meet Tamsin Wade, the 19-year-old mother from the U.K. who is making headlines (and turning heads) all over the Internet today for telling The Daily Mail that her G-cup breast implants make her a better parent.

After her son was born a couple years ago, she says her large breasts got small and uneven, which made her incredibly self-conscious about showing off her body. She had to go through the horror of wearing baggy clothes like it was the '90s and would never take her son swimming because the thought of wearing a bikini was just too much bear (or bare - either works).

So rather than spend the rest of her life having to look like Brian Austin Green in every episode of "Beverly Hills 90210," Wade decided to do something about.

The mother did what anyone would do for their child and took out an $8,500 loan to have her breasts enlarged to a G-cup. She pays around $240 a month for the new gals, but says it's all worth it now that she can spend time with her toddler outdoors and in public without being embarrassed that her boobs are too small. Sure, that $240 every month could be going towards the kid's college fund, but let's not get carried away here. There are little things called priorities.

Here is an actual quote from the article:

'I feel comfortable to take him abroad now too as I won't mind wearing skimpy clothes and bikinis - it'll be great to go on holiday with him. We will probably go on a last-minute holiday.'

Phew. It would've been a nightmare to not be able to vacation (again, something the $240 a month could've gone to). Oh, and she claims her boyfriend is "thrilled with the results," too. Huge surprise there!



(H/T to both Gawker and Bro Bible)

 

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'Game of Thrones' Season 4 Bloopers are Very Enjoyable

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Comic-Con 2014 is currently going down in San Diego, and one of my favorite aspects of the convention is that new trailers (like for The Walking Dead) and videos like this one get unveiled. "Game of Thrones" is such a hardcore intense drama that it makes this short blooper reel even more entertaining. Also, I think I love Lena Headey.

 

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Here's Proof That Girls Like Touching Boobs as Much as Guys

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Boobs are awesome. Guys love them, girls love them - everybody loves them. There's really not much else that needs to be said, but if you require proof of the greatness of breasts, here are several photos of women who can't keep their hands off other ladies' boobs. My work here is done.

girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs
girls grabbing boobs, girls grabbing each other's boobs, rosie jones emma glover
via Izismile

 

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Stephen Hawking is 'Somewhat of a Regular' at California Strip Club

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Stephen Hawking might be smarter than every man on the planet, but when it comes to having a naked girl with an awful father grind on his naughty parts, he's apparently no different than the rest of us.
stephen hawking frequents california strip club
According to Radar Online, the renowned physicist is "somewhat of a regular" at Freedom Acres, the largest on-premise swingers club in the Los Angeles and Orange County area.

A source who has been a club member for almost five years told the website that he has seen Hawking there "more than a handful of times," adding:

He arrives with an entourage of nurses and assistants. Last time I saw him he was in the back "play area" laying on a bed fully clothed with two naked women gyrating all over him.

While what sounds like the greatest night of his life is going down, his nurses and staff stand nearby and watch him.

An annual membership to Freedom Acres will set you back 40 bucks, but I guess that's not bad for a club that offers its members a two-hour orgy every Sunday night.

Hey, it sounds a lot classier than this club: Four Students Caught Having Sex in Nightclub Parking Lot

 

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12 Pics of Fabio Posing With Strangers Like They're on a Romance Novel Cover

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You gotta respect Fabio. The dude has been a sex icon for the better part of three decades, yet seems to be a super nice guy with a good sense of humor. Reportedly, Fabio has been on a supermarket tour lately to promote his line of protein powder, and along the way he is totally cool taking photos with adoring fans while pretending they are on the cover of one of his famous romance novels. Fabio's the man.

funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
funny fabio, fabio picking people up, fabio romance novel covers
via HappyPlace

 

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10 Times Famous Athletes Completely Lost Their Minds

How To Hail A Taxi

Teachers Hilariously Putting Students In Their Place

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Students can't have all the fun and a lot of teachers are aware of that. So, for every student that pulls a prank or causes some trouble, just know that there are teachers out there who can bring it just as hard as you can.



Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school
Funny teachers, teacher pranks, funny students funny school

 

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