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Clemson QB Cole Stoudt Pranks People by Pretending to Be a Mannequin

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Scare pranks are always a good time, especially to people like us who just get to watch and aren't victims. To display new equipment and jerseys, the Clemson football team uses three football player mannequins and sets them up around their stadium. However, when their quarterback Cole Stoudt dresses up in full gear and stands among the mannequins, he blends right in.

To skip the preparation and get right to the fun stuff, skip ahead to the 1-minute mark.

 

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Krystle Lina is the Absolute Peak of Sexy

Guy Stops to Film Lightning, Gets Struck By Lightning

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A Seattle man who thought it would be "very, very cool to see" a lightning bolt from an approaching storm instead found out the hard way that lightning can in fact be a cold, heartless bitch.

Robb Montejano was taking a casual Saturday afternoon walk through a field when he saw several bolts of lightning in the distance. And even though most eight-year-old kids would tell you the safest place to be when you see lightning is inside a house or building, Montejano instead put YouTube hits in front of safety and decided to stand in the field so he could capture a bolt or two on his camera phone.

"I don't know what's going to happen," Montejano can be heard saying in the video. "I'll give it a minute here because it would be very, very cool to see on film. But-"

But yeah, just as Montejano was about to put the phone down, he got the bolt of lightning he was looking for and then some.


"I just felt this surge of electricity go 'boom' through my body," Montejano told KOMO. "The electricity flowing through my body, I can't describe it. It was amazing."

It was amazing all right. Amazingly stupid.

If these people weren't in the market for a new truck, they are now: Lightning Bolt Strikes and Engulfs Truck in Flames, Passengers Survive

 

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Today's Funny Photos

10 Foods You Shouldn't Eat Before Sex

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For those of us who enjoy repeat business from our lovers in the realm of sexual exploration, there's a simple art of what not to eat before sex. In order to minimize flatulence, bloating, discomfort and other problems, consider avoiding these ten food items before you hop in the sack for your next roll in the hay.
couple eating strawberry, sex and food
Dairy
For the 75 percent or so of folks who are - to some degree - lactose intolerant, consider laying off the cheese and whipped cream as you seduce a girl into a false sense of naked security. Dairy products, especially in excess, are tough for the body to quickly break down, leading to pregnant man syndrome (not a real thing) and a bad case of breaking wind. Do yourself a favor and opt for almond milk and just drink the wine at parties instead of shoving cheese cubes down your throat all night.

Nuts & Oats
While some nuts are good - seeds, walnuts, almonds - for your general health, others are salty, spicy, fart-making machines that will upset your stomach and leave you puffy in the gut. Just the same, some oatmeal is good for you in the morning, producing the serotonin you'll want for your sexual release, but too much oatmeal means too much fiber, which tends to overly digest and make you gassy, or worse, poopy. And it can all lower your sex drive. So if you find yourself feeling like you'd rather watch soap operas and cry than get it on, you might be going a little heavy on the oats and nuts.

Mint
Most guys who pop a stick of gum before a hot date think they're helping themselves out, but mint isn't actually man's best friend before sexy time. Mint contains menthol, a compound that lowers testosterone levels and, thus, lowers your sex drive. Any guy packing a ton of gum isn't going to have his gun digging into any girl's hip with as much ease. So whatever you're shoving in your mouth for better breath, right before sex is not the right time. Mint also makes you burp. Maybe it's time you just started brushing your teeth in the morning, or at least once in awhile.
ace ventura chewing gum
Super Veggies
Cruciferous foods like broccoli and cauliflower might be good for your body, but they also make you fart like a backed-up blue whale. Brussels sprouts, asparagus and onions make sex life more difficult by making your pee and other bodily fluids stink, along with making your ass more unpredictable. If you enjoy eating those foods, good for you, but maybe save them for the hours when you're alone, as no self-respecting lady will want a piece of you if your bathing suit region smells like a compost heap.

Fast Food
If it's long, phallic foods you like to eat before sex, try a banana (which can also be used fochili dog, foods to avoid before sexr oral foreplay). Hot dogs, on the other hand, along with hamburgers, greasy fries and other junk you find at the gas station, are boner killers. Although greasy food works on a hangover, your lady won't like it when those grubby fingers are on or near her lovely lady parts. The fat content alone clogs up your penile arteries - yes that's a thing - and makes it difficult for old lumpy to get excited about much of anything. That includes bar food too, boys. Before you know it, your kielbasa will look like a limp, uncooked hot dog no girl is going to want to touch. Substitute with the fish tacos or grilled chicken next time, pal.

Sugary Drinks
A soda might tide you over when you have hungry eyes and an empty stomach, but the abundance of sugars and general unhealthiness of junk drinks only make you tired when you need energy most. Sugars and sweeteners in mixed drinks are major bloaters that can lead to a sugar high followed by a sugar crash. Your best option might be some fruit juice or a glass of water, but don't drink too much and fill up your bladder before it's time to get busy. That's a rookie mistake.

Beansblack beans, foods to avoid before sex
Beans have a great many benefits, but like most good things, too much can make you poop. Bloating aside, certain sugars in beans don't easily digest. especially when you overdo it, and make you extra farty. These things in turn lower the lady's sex drive and overall interest in you. If you want to be known as the guy who can't control his farts when he's getting his knob slobbered on, be our guest, but don't think that won't catch up to you in the end. You'll have to travel to far off, unheard of countries to find a woman who isn't aware of your bean butt.

Canned Foods
Processed food will bring you nothing but trouble whilst you attempt to please your lady, as high sodium content reduces the blood flow in the body. That includes the blood flow all the way to the tip of your nether regions. If you were looking forward to getting lightheaded as you rush all the blood from your body into your little head, think again on the canned food, son.
red meat, foods to avoid before sex
Red Meat
Some call it red meat shock, but the fact is that red meat makes you tired. Although there's protein, which is good for your body, large amounts of it will leave you somewhat comatose compared to a turkey burger or anything a bit lighter. So unless your girlfriend is into having sex with a lifeless body - a fetish to keep your eye on - reconsider the sloppy amounts of red meat and try something lighter.

Fruity Snacks & Desserts
Most of the things in dessert - the fruit, sugar and dairy - quicken the bowel movements. Snacks in general (black licorice especially) lower the sex drive and makes your breath smell like your dick, which is quite unsettling. Like most foods in this list, certain sugars and high amounts of it make your body do extra work. Instead of doing the extra work, it just looks fat and makes you fat so much it sounds like you're running on a field of ducks. You want our advice? Lay off the loads of sugars and salt before intercourse. You don't want our advice? Good, you'll never get laid again. Although that was a likely circumstance to begin with, wasn't it?

 

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A Map of the Richest Person in Each State Is Here to Make You Weep

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If you've ever wondered who the richest person in your state is and also just how rich that person is, wonder no more. A convenient little map has made its way around the Internet to make us all feel dirt poor. No matter how much money you make, you're not making as much as the person of note in your state.

Anyway, if you need me, I'll be moving to Alaska so my bank account won't look as small next to the mere $700 million that Robert Gillam has. I mean, $700,000,000? That's it?! Man, Robert. Step it up.

To view the full map in all of its interactive glory, including info on each wealthy bastard, head over to Movoto.

(h/t Happy Place)

Richest Person in Each State Map

 

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Foreign Comics That Would Make Awesome Movies

These Funny Groomsmen Photos Must've Really Enhanced the Wedding Album

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Your wedding album is something you look back on for the rest of your life. Do you want to look back and realize you were a boring, old stiff? Of course not, that's why while you knock out all of the typical artsy wedding photos, it's OK to have a little fun, as well. All of these grooms and their groomsmen know exactly what we're talking about.

Funny Groomsmen photos, funny groomsmen pics
Funny Groomsmen photos, funny groomsmen pics
Funny Groomsmen photos, funny groomsmen pics
Funny Groomsmen photos, funny groomsmen pics
Funny Groomsmen photos, funny groomsmen pics
Funny Groomsmen photos, funny groomsmen pics
Funny Groomsmen photos, funny groomsmen pics
Funny Groomsmen photos, funny groomsmen pics
Funny Groomsmen photos, funny groomsmen pics

Funny Groomsmen photos, funny groomsmen pics

And just today another wedding photo made its way around the Internet. What's so special about this one? "I just saw a T-Rex wedding photo", you say? Well if you look carefully, you'll see "Jurassic Park" star, Jeff Goldblum (just to the right of the bride) making a cameo appearance in this one:
Jurassic Park Jeff Goldblum Wedding

 

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Naked Oregon Man Falls Into River While Masturbating

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We've heard before that the Willamette River is beautiful, but this is ridiculous.

According to KPTV, a 31-year-old naked man was arrested Saturday afternoon because he was "masturbating in plain sight of people" on the edge of a cliff bank along the Willamette River in Oregon City.
naked Oregon man falls into river while masturbating
Police said Ernest Kirk was butt naked and punching his clown on a cliff bank 75 feet below the Oregon City-West Linn Bridge and continued to masturbate for several minutes even after they arrived on the scene.

But as a Clackamas County Sheriff's Office boat approached him, Kirk fell into the river and had to be rescued in what we can only assume was the worst day ever for those responding officers.

Kirk was first sent to a local hospital for a medical evaluation and was charged with public indecency, harassment, and a parole violation.

Police said Kirk appeared to be under the influence of an unnamed controlled substance. For Kirk's sake, and really for all of humanity's sake, we hope that was the case.

They must have the same drugs on the East Coast: Drunk Man Crashes Into Restaurant Then Gets Out and Masturbates

 

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A Guide to Jobs in Social Media

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The key to success on the Internet today is ruling the world of social media. In order to win at social media, you need to hire as many people as possible and give them fancy titles. To help you get a leg up on the competition, we've put together this helpful guide to jobs in social media. Now that we've broken it down for you, there's nothing left to do but assemble your social media team and become a millionaire.

social media guide to jobs

 

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This Michigan Dude Threw a 'Party for the Record Books'

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Let's be honest, the Goo Goo Dolls could stop to use the john at a Hinton Township gas station, and it would probably be the greatest day in the town's history. But, a 20-year-old man is claiming he threw a "party for the record books" last weekend, after more than 2,000 people showed up to his crappy house to celebrate a high school friend's birthday.

James Taylor hired two DJs, a fire thrower, go-go dancers and strippers for what he said was the "largest party ever to hit West Michigan."


Taylor figured he had at least 500 people inside his family's small farmhouse Saturday night, and the floor boards were shaking because of all the extra weight. Now, all that remains inside the house is a box of premium saltines, broken speakers, busted blinds and one guy who is still passed out on his floor.

Meanwhile, the Mencosta County Sheriff's Office is more concerned about the six drug overdoses and one sexual assault that allegedly took place at Taylor's "epic party."

In any case, from the sleeveless Ft. Myers Beach shirt to the dude still passed out on his floor, Taylor's interview with FOX 17 is probably the greatest local news piece you'll see this year.

These live news reports were also pretty awesome: People Passing Out on Live TV

 

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10 Steps to Being the Most Annoying Person at a Concert

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annoying concert

There are few things in life better than seeing one of your favorite bands in concert. The problem is, not everyone in attendance is there for the magic. Unfortunately, every concert is full of trolls and cretins. Perhaps you're tired of going to simply enjoy a concert and you'd like to become one of those annoying jerks. Here are ten steps to achieving your goal.

Step 1: Record the entire thing on your iPhone.

You're going to want to relive this moment over and over, so keep that iPhone recording the entire time. Who cares if you could watch the entire concert professionally filmed on YouTube? Hold your phone up as high as possible so those suckers behind you can't see a thing unless they watch it through your screen.

Step 2: Throw blunt objects into the crowd.

Nothing says, "Wow, what a great show!" like throwing an object into a group of concertgoers. It is such a joy to possibly injure a stranger because you're really pumped Alan Jackson is doing one of his deep cuts. Honestly, it's their fault for getting a closer spot than you. You're the real victim here.

Step 3: Post to social media continuously.

Remember how I said to never stop recording the concert? There is an exception. Not only do you need to keep taking unnecessary and repetitive pictures, you also need to constantly be posting them on social media. Double down on it and check how many Likes your pictures have gotten every 30-45 seconds. This is best when the lights are down and it's an intimate moment.


Step 4: Drink waaaaaay too much.

It's not like you can have beer whenever you want at any given time, so make sure you drink all the alcohol a human being could possibly consume. You should aim to be completely plastered before the opening act is done. That way you can either get kicked out for fighting before the headliner gets up, or miss most of the show because you're puking in the bathroom.

Step 5: Dry hump like a Terrier.

What better time to start dry humping the woman you love than in the middle of a Stain'd concert? People are going to get mad because you're "blocking their view" or "being a huge distraction," but they're just jealous of true love. You keep dry humping away, my friend. Dry hump so hard that the denim of your jeans literally bursts into flames.

Step 6: Sit in someone else's seat.

If it's a crowded or sold out show, be sure to sit in a seat that isn't yours. I mean what are the odds that the person who bought those seats will actually want to sit in them? If they do come by, make a big deal out of it and just slide to the next set of seats and wait for the next people to yell at you. What a bunch of losers.

Step 7: Hit on every girl there.

What a better opportunity to be creepy to girls than during a concert when they're focused on the music and have no interest in meeting someone new? The more she ignores you and keeps singing along to Paramore, the more obvious it is that she wants you to tell her about yourself and try to get her number.

Step 8: Have a conversation that is somehow louder than the music.

Sure, people are there to hear songs, but why shouldn't you be allowed to talk to your friends at an insanely loud volume? Someone in your group definitely had a recent breakup. What better time to loudly discuss it than during the acoustic part of the show?


Step 9: Get up on someone's shoulders.

If you're not on someone's shoulders, you're wasting your time. Get up there and make a complete idiot of yourself. Once security sees you and asks you to get down, ignore them. What do they know? They're wearing a plastic jacket for crying out loud.

Step 10: Pay no attention to your surroundings.

Try to be generally inconsiderate. If it's a family show and the people in front of you have kids, swear constantly. Not PG-13 swearing, either. I'm talking "The Departed" Director's Cut level of swearing. Maybe even spill a few drinks on them. That'll teach kids to enjoy music!

 

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This Little Kid Gave The Greatest Interview and Is Taking the Internet by Storm

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Meet little Noah Ritter. This 5-year-old is the Internet's next big thing, thanks to this hilarious interview he gave a Pennsylvania news station during his trip to the fair. He's being called the "Apparently Kid" and once you watch the interview, you'll understand why. We're not sure, but we get the feeling he's never been on live television.

(h/t Gawker)

 

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Emmanuelle Vaugier Looks A-Okay

Gemma Merna May Be the Hottest Soap Star Ever


Today's Funny Photos

Check Out These Pictures of Jerry Jones Groping Women in a Restroom

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Let's be honest, there is no way the owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars is having this much fun.

According to Deadspin, photos surfaced this week of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in what looks like a restroom with two women, including one of a woman's face pressed against his junk and another of him using his hands to get a little more than a woman's phone number.

Jerry Jones woman bathroom
Jerry Jones woman bathroom
Jerry Jones woman bathroom
The pictures were first posted to the internet by a man named Frank Hoover, who also released a 20-page manifesto explaining that the pictures were taken as part of an attempt to blackmail the Cowboys owner. Along the way, Hoover also makes the claim that he is in fact the son of God.

The manifesto was meant specifically for Jones and goes into detail about a script that Hoover began working on in 2005 about the extortion he was about to be a part of.

How much of the letter is truth might never be known, but one thing we can probably all agree on is that Jerry Jones' life is much better than ours.

Here's the real reason why the Cowboys are America's Team: 20 Hot Photos of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

 

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20 of the Best 'Pulp Fiction' Mashups to Celebrate the Film's 20th Anniversary

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It's hard to believe that "Pulp Fiction" came out 20 years ago this October. The fantastic film has certainly seen its influence recognized through the years, and nothing illustrates that better than a barrage of art (usually in T-shirt form) based off the original black and white photo of Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield. To commemorate the milestone, we've rounded up the best Internet "Pulp Fiction" mashups incorporating some of your favorite characters from pop culture into the now iconic pose.

Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield from "Pulp Fiction"
Pulp Fiction Mashups, vincent vega jules winnfield pulp fiction
Laurel and Hardypulp fiction mashups, laurel hardy
Barney Gumble and Homer Simpson from "The Simpsons"pulp fiction mashups, barney homer simpsons
Groot and Rocket Raccoon from "Guardians of the Galaxy"pulp fiction mashups, groot rocket raccoon guardians of the galaxy
Tyrion Lannister and Bronn from "Game of Thrones"pulp fiction mashups, tyrion lannister bronn game of thrones
Merle and Daryl Dixon from "The Walking Dead"pulp fiction mashups, merle daryl dixon walking dead
The Tenth and Eleventh Doctors from "Doctor Who"pulp fiction mashups, tenth eleventh doctor who
The Joker and Harley Quinn from "Batman"pulp fiction mashups, joker harley quinn batman
The Minions from "Despicable Me"pulp fiction mashups, minions despicable me
Boba Fett and Darth Vader from "Star Wars"pulp fiction mashups, boba fett darth vader star wars
Leon and Mathilda from "Leon, The Professional"pulp fiction mashups, leon mathilda the professional
Lilo and Stitch from "Lilo & Stitch"pulp fiction mashups, lilo stitch
Jeff Winger and Shirley Bennett from "Community"pulp fiction mashups, jeff shirley community
Gob Bluth and Franklin from "Arrested Development"pulp fiction mashups, gob franklin arrested development
Mordecai and Rigby from "Regular Show"pulp fiction mashups, mordecai rigby regular show
Badger and Skinny Pete from "Breaking Bad"pulp fiction mashups, badger skinny pete breaking bad
Dean and Sam Winchester from "Supernatural"pulp fiction mashups, dean sam winchester supernatural
Agents Mulder and Scully from "The X-Files"pulp fiction mashups, mulder scully x-files
Thomas Bangalter and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo of Daft Punkpulp fiction mashups, daft punk bangalter homem-christo
Ernie and Bert from "Sesame Street"pulp fiction mashups, ernie bert sesame street
Nicolas Cage and Nicolas Cage from your nightmarespulp fiction mashups, nicolas cage
Well played, Internet. Well played.pulp fiction mashups, thumbs up vincent vega jules winnfield

 

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13 of the Highest Paying Jobs Requiring Little Education

Where to Find the World's Largest Slip-n-Slides

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Largest Slip-n-Slides

There's still plenty of summer left (thank God) and, to celebrate, Slide the City is attempting to set up massive Slip 'N Slides across North America. Though their dates are TBD, we were inspired by this awesome-looking 260-foot-long setup and party on one of San Francisco's urban hills.

Largest Slip-n-Slides

Looked like it was a blast.

Largest Slip-n-Slides

But we've found a few more locations that've slipped and slid in a big way as well.

Largest Slip-n-Slides

Recognize Soldier Field in Chicago?

Largest Slip-n-Slides

How about this quad-length run in Western Michigan.

Eugene slip-n-slide

Eugene, Oregon, throws a pretty sweet-looking party for local residents, with some S&S action lakeside.

Largest Slip-n-Slides

And here's a couple of nuts who set up a complete loop-de-loop from the ceiling of their house in Oklahoma City as part of a Kickstarter campaign. Insane(ly cool).

Related: These are the best American water parks for grown-ups

 

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