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13 Funny Squirrel Photos and Memes

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I don't care what anyone says - squirrels are awesome. In fact, I used to feed one right out of my hand when I was in college. I don't want to say that the squirrel was my best friend, but - OK, maybe for a couple years he was my best friend. Anyway, squirrels are hilarious and these 13 photos and memes prove it.

funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes
funny squirrels, funny squirrel photos, squirrel memes

 

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Cops Call Florida Mom About Missing Child, She Hangs Up on Them to Strip

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Let's be honest: It's probably not the first time some of the patrons at Calendar Girls got a lap dance from a criminal.

According to WTSP, a 29-year-old Hudson woman was arrested and charged with resisting an officer and obstruction after she hung up on a policeman who was inquiring about her missing child because she had to take the stage at a strip club.
woman hangs up on cop inquiring about her missing kid to strip
Bobbey Jo Boucher (not to be confused with Adam Sandler's character in "The Waterboy") allegedly left her 10-year-old daughter at a barbecue Wednesday afternoon because she had to go to work at Calendar Girls.

When Boucher's daughter didn't return home from the party, the child's grandmother called police. But when police reached out to Boucher at work to gather information, she hung up on them because she had to "get on stage."

When police arrived at the "gentlemen's club," Boucher said she didn't hang up on them. She just "transferred to another caller who was calling her." No word on what call she thought was more important than one concerning her missing daughter, but regardless, police didn't buy her story.

Boucher was released from custody after posting $663 bail, which means she'll probably need to learn how to shake her ass to several more songs over the holiday weekend.

Or maybe she should work here: Stripper Posts a Photo of the Whopping $3,345 She Made in a Single Day

 

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New Jersey Idiot Breaks Leg Trying to Use His T-Shirt for a Zip Line

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You do a lot of stupid stuff when you're 15 years old, like asking out the hottest girl in school even though she's taller than you or getting your penis stuck in the swimming pool suction fitting during a dare gone wrong. Hey, it happens.

But a New Jersey teenager is lucky to be alive after falling 30 feet from a high school's zip line because he used his T-shirt as a harness instead of the necessary equipment.

According to Gawker, the teen was playing soccer with some friends when he noticed the zip line. Those "friends" helped him climb a tree that housed one end of the zip line, and he attempted to make his way to the other end using just his extra T-shirt.

Naturally, the T-shirt became stuck on the line, and he couldn't move in either direction. His "friends" convinced him to jump because they would catch him, but that didn't work out too well either.


Wow. We highly recommend watching that again solely because that CBS New York news anchor is a smoking hottie.

When it's not you hitting the ground, it's hysterical: Homemade Zip Line Fail Results in Pain, Funny Noises

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

MacGyver-style Camping Hacks

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As the saying goes, camping means "roughing it" - but how rough it actually has to be is up to you. Read on for 10 camping hacks that would even impress MacGyver.

Camping hacks
1) Toilet Paper Carrier
Camping hacks

Keep your TP grime-free by using an empty coffee can and some string to carry it around with you.

2) Instant Coffee
Camping hacks

Use the coffee from your new toilet paper carrier to make instant coffee pods. Put one scoop into a coffee filter, tie with floss, and enjoy a freshly brewed cup in minutes.

3) Laundry Detergent Hand-Washing Station
Camping hacks

Wash out an empty laundry detergent dispenser, fill it with water, and keep soap and a towel handy for when you need to wash up.

4) Pots and Pans Hanger
Camping hacks

Strap an old belt to a tree, and use hooks to hang up your pots and pans.

5) Egg Carton Fire Starter
Camping hacks

Don't lug the whole bag of coal over to your fire like a noob - use an egg carton to get those flames going.

6) Waterproof Matches
Camping hacks

Give your matches a coat of shellac, and they'll still light even when damp.

7) Glow Stick Lanterns
Camping hacks

What's cheaper than a flashlight and doesn't need batteries? A glass jar with a glow stick in it.

8) Charcoal BBQ
Camping hacks

All you need is a tin can, some foil, charcoal and a grilling rack to roast your dogs.

9) Rake Hot Dog Roaster
Camping hacks

If moderation is just not your thing, cook 15 dogs at once with a rake roaster (after you hose off the leaves).

10) iPhone Speakers
Camping hacks

No fancy transportable speakers required in the great outdoors -- all you need is a ceramic cup that fits your iPhone and it'll amplify the sound.

 

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10 Bizarre Real-Life Robot Stories

Rhode Island Man Tries to Shoot Pigeon With Bow and Arrow, Hits Little Girl Instead

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Unless it happened somewhere inside the Renaissance Fair, this is unacceptable.

According to Uproxx, a 27-year-old Cranston, R.I., man violated his probation and then some when he tried to shoot a pigeon in his driveway using a bow and arrow but instead struck a 9-year-old girl.
guy shoots pigeon with bow and arrow hit girl instead
Police said Daniel King's arrow ricocheted off the driveway and hit Lexi Franco in the back as she was walking with three of her friends on a nearby sidewalk. Franco's sister Angel Lucchetti said she thought the arrow was a plastic one at first, but when it fell out and she saw blood, she knew it was more serious.

"She had a hole in her back," Lucchetti said. "Like a big hole."

Franco was treated for minor injuries and later released from Hasbro Children's Hospital, which sounds like a hospital kids try to get into on purpose.

Meanwhile, King is in deep shit, even after turning himself in and checking to see if Franco was OK. He was charged with felony assault and violating probation.

We're assuming both could have been avoided if he would have tried shooing away the pigeon simply by walking toward it.

Just when you thought it doesn't get any stranger than a bow and arrow in an urban area, this guy uses a bucket of piss for a weapon: Man Throws Bucket of Urine on Building Inspector (Insane Mug Shot Included)

 

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Some Photographers Will Do Whatever It Takes to Get the Shot

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If you think being a photographer is easy, let these people prove you wrong. You get to simply enjoy the pictures they produce, while they're literally bending over backwards to get the shot. In some cases - conveniently, like the ones below - the photographers themselves are a more interesting shot than their subjects.






funny photographer poses






 

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The Best of This Year's Burning Man Installations

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Now that the dust's finally starting to settle in the Black Rock Desert of Northern Nevada (though we're pretty sure most of it came home with us - despite the torrential rain), we can take stock of the incredible art installations that came to be at this year's "Caravansary"-themed Burning Man.

Burning Man 2014

"Embrace" by day and, below, by night. This is a self-described "testament to the moment, a cathedral dedicated to the beauty of immediacy. This is a sculpture made to honor all of the relationships in our lives, a pilgrimage through our bodies and our minds."

Burning Man 2014

With a 5 mph speed limit across the playa, the only traffic you'll encounter is of the two-wheeled variety (unless you get stuck behind a parade of mutant vehicles).

Burning Man 2014

Burning Man 2014

Burning Man 2014

Building a pyre beneath 'the Man' in preparation for his ritual burning.

Burning Man 2014

And the desert temperature rises ...

Burning Man 2014

Now we get into art with a message clear enough to comprehend from miles away:

Burning Man 2014


Burning Man 2014


Burning Man 2014

And then back to some structural wonder.

Burning Man 2014

But really, BM is all about the wonderfully wacky people who attend. Here's a human jungle gym of some of our favorites.

Burning Man 2014

 

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Jessica Richens Is a Dancing Dime

Aussie Hottie Estelle George Shows Off Her Comedy Chops for 'ZOO'

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No, it's not Halloween. It's Australian model Estelle George showing off. Zoo Weekly Australia decided it might be funny to take a hot girl and dress her up as the funniest film characters of all time. Excellent idea! We could tally them off for you, but we think you can figure out which character she is on your own (Hint: one of them has the last name of a common wine). Even if you can't, there's no harm in looking. Zoo's comedy issue hits shelves on Monday, and will include all these sexy shots of Estelle below and more. And for you Americans: Happy Labor Day Weekend!

Estelle George, sexy models Estelle George
Estelle George, sexy models Estelle George
Estelle George, sexy models Estelle George
Estelle George, sexy models Estelle George
Estelle George, sexy models Estelle George

Also check out our interview with Estelle George!

 

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How to Carry on a 1:1 Conversation While Staring at your Phone

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You've been there -- on a Tinder right-swipe streak, or beating a high score on Angry Birds, when someone starts talking to you. Out loud. To your face.

But how's a person meant to interact without Emojis? Does it even count if it isn't temporarily recorded on Snapchat? If you actually have to conduct a 1:1 conversation, IRL, follow these steps until you can successfully make it back to your screen.
1) Make eye contact
Conversation gifs
Look the person speaking to you in the eye, similar to the way you keep your eyes focused on your phone's camera when you're taking a selfie.
2) Smile and nod
Conversation gifs
When the person says things like, "Right?", "You know?", and "You get what I'm saying?", smile, nod and agree.
3) Start talking once they stop talking
Conversation gifs
By this point you might be ready to swipe left, but unfortunately 1:1 conversations just don't work that way. To avoid having to actually contribute, use phrases like "Tell me more", "Could you repeat that?" or "What does your friend/co-worker/mom think about all this?"
4) Act interested
Conversation gifs
You know the attention you give to your phone following a new Instagram comment or a re-tweet? Pretend like that's happening, and give the same look to the person in front of you.
5) React appropriately to sneezes
Conversation gifs
When you're face-to-face with a real person, their monologue may be disturbed by a bodily function, like a sneeze. Say "Bless you", or, if you're feeling fancy, "gesundheit." You now have another three seconds of screen-time while the person in front of you recovers.
6) Start planning an exit strategy
Conversation gifs
If the conversation goes on much longer, you will miss out on vital virtual ongoings. Start looking around, tapping your watch, and mumbling the words "appointment," "meeting," "work," and "parole officer" indiscriminately.
7) Let the person know how much you enjoyed talking to them
Conversation gifs
Apparently there are some people who actually enjoy this kind of communication.
8) Head for the door
Conversation gifs
As soon as you're home free, send the person you've been "speaking" with an Emoji, so there's an actual record of your dialogue. This makes it real. Conversation gifs

 

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The 9 Worst Passengers in the History of Flying

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Thanks to the good people of the Facebook page Passenger Shaming, we can now all collectively point our finger at those terrible people on airplanes who have no regard for the other passengers around them. Seriously, if I ever got stuck near one of these people on an airplane, I would immediately de-plane. I'd rather walk from New York to LA than sit in front of someone who wants to poke their bare feet through my armrest hole.

terrible airplane passengers
terrible airplane passengers
terrible airplane passengers
terrible airplane passengers
terrible airplane passengers
terrible airplane passengers
terrible airplane passengers
terrible airplane passengers
terrible airplane passengers

 

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Today's Funny Photos

Lead Singers Who Defy the Sexy Rock Star Stereotype

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Talented frontmen like Jack White might not be the prettiest things to look at during a live rock show, but there are some dudes who flat out defy the good-looking lead singer stereotype. That's not to say these guys aren't talented. Perhaps they are so talented that nobody cares how unattractive they are. Having said that, we still notice. Here are 14 of rock 'n' roll's least handsome singers

Chad Kroeger, lead vocalist/guitarist of Nickelback since 1995
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, chad kroeger
Ian Fraser "Lemmy" Kilmister, lead vocalist/bassist of Motörhead since 1975
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, lemmy
Tom Petty, lead vocalist/guitarist of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers since 1976
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, tom petty
Serj Tankian, lead singer of System of a Down since 1994
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, serj tankian
Shane MacGowan, lead singer of The Pogues from 1982-1991
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, shane macgowan
John Lydon aka Johnny Rotten, lead singer of the Sex Pistols from 1975-2008
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, johnny rotten
Dee Snider, lead singer of Twisted Sister since 1976
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, dee snider
Adam Duritz, lead singer of Counting Crows since 1991
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, adam duritz
Ric Ocasek, lead vocalist/guitarist of The Cars since 1976
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, ric ocasek
Jonathan Davis, lead singer of Korn since 1993
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, jonathan davis
Alice Cooper, singer/songwriter since 1964
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, alice cooper
Marilyn Manson, lead singer of Marilyn Manson since 1989
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, marilyn manson
Meat Loaf, lead singer since 1970
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, meat loaf
Thom Yorke, lead vocalist/guitarist/pianist of Radiohead since 1985
ugly rock stars, ugly lead singers, unattractive lead singers, thom yorke

 

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Missouri Duo Takes Selfie With Corpse of Overdosed 'Friend'

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We have to put the word "friend" in quotes, as someone not high on meth would tell you that real friends don't dump another friend's body on a driveway along a rural road in the middle of nowhere Missouri.

According to The Smoking GunMissouri duo takes selfie with corpse, a 24-year-old woman and 28-year-old man linked to the Joplin Honkies street gang are in deep shit after taking a selfie with the corpse of a "friend" who died of a drug overdose before ditching the body along a rural road.

The Newton County Sheriff's Office said Chelsie Berry was driving around with Dennis "Nathan" Meyer last week when he injected himself with the painkiller Dilaudid. He began "acting crazy" and kept "pulling out his penis" before passing out in the front seat of Berry's car.

Nervous, Berry called Jared Prier, and he arranged for them to meet in a McDonald's parking lot. The two determined that Meyer was no longer breathing, but they refused to take him to a hospital because they were both "high on meth and Xanax and thought they would get in trouble."

The duo instead moved Meyer's body to the backseat because they "did not want to look at him any longer and also the fact that he began to smell bad," but before doing so, they snapped a selfie with the corpse and later posted it on Facebook.

The picture has since been removed, and the duo has been charged with voluntary manslaughter and abandonment of a corpse.

Maybe it's just us, but Berry sure looks a hell of a lot like a young Kurt Russell.

Compared to a corpse, posting a picture of weed on seems rather innocent: Florida Man Arrested After Bragging About Selling Drugs on Facebook

 

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The 13 Most Ridiculous But Totally Real Book Covers

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The more you read, the more you learn. Reading develops your imagination. Reading helps humans communicate information and ideas. And I truly believe all of that, until I see books like these. Then I just think we're all getting stupider as a society.

funny book titles
funny book titles
funny book titles
funny book titles
funny book titles
funny book titles
funny book titles
funny book titles
funny book titles
funny book titles
funny book titles
funny book titles
funny book titles

 

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12 Innovative Products That Are Perfect Solutions to Annoying Problems

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Life's tough, and the little everyday annoyances we deal with only make it tougher. But if we could invent products using our advanced intelligence and technology to get rid of these annoyances, we'd all be happy and everything would be perfect, right? Right. Here are 12 products and concepts that can make our world a better place.

Butter-Warming Butter Knife
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
Book Stand With Page Holders
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
Ice Cream Lid Lock
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
Silicone Oven Rack Pull Tabs
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
Passcode Protected USB Stick
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
The Coolest Cooler
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
Snack Dish With Discard Dish
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
Water Bottle Wallet
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
See-Through Highlighter
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
Smartphone Door Lock
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
Spaghetti-Spinning Fork
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
Glow-in-the-Dark Toilet
cool gadgets, genius items, annoying problem solutions
h/t Viralnova

 

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'Madden 15' Player Is Just 14 Inches Tall

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Sometimes talent doesn't cross over all that well from the college football game to the pros.

Apparently, neither does height.

According to The Des Moines Register, a former 6-foot-2 standout linebacker from Iowa is just 14 inches tall in "Madden NFL 15."

Madden 15 player is just 14 inches tall
Christian Kirksey was a 235-pound Honorable Mention All-Big Ten player last year for the Hawkeyes and was drafted in the third round by the Cleveland Browns in this year's NFL Draft. But gamers who decide to take the "Madden Solo Challenge" will probably tell you that the fact he's playing for the Titans instead of the Browns doesn't chap their asses as much as the fact that he's just over one foot tall.

Naturally, the glitch exploded on social media over the weekend, and some of the images are beyond amazing:
Let's be honest: Despite his lack of height, it looks like the virtual Kirksey would still be good enough to start for the real-life Oakland Raiders.

Kirksey will have to eat his Wheaties before he makes this list: The 20 Greatest Video Game Athletes of All Time

 

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12 Classic Horror Movies That Are Still Really Scary

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the shining twins

Some horror movies were absolutely terrifying the first time you saw them. You think about them for years and remember how much they horrified you as a kid. Eventually, you decide to watch them again and they just don't have the same effect. The problem with so many classic horror movies is that the story is strong, but sometimes the special effects or the acting just doesn't hold up to today's standards. There are, of course, exceptions to the rule. Here are 12 classic horror movies that are still really scary.

1. The Shining
There's something about "The Shining" that makes it timeless. That movie will still be just as scary in 20 years as it was the day it came out. It's so psychological you don't even notice how many things are now outdated. Those twin girls and the old lady in the bathtub will haunt me until the day I die. That's an amazing accomplishment.

2. A Nightmare on Elm Street
I love the Freddy movies, but after the first one, they were way too comical to actually cause fear. Plus, the second film almost ruins the franchise when Freddy is running around a pool party flipping over chairs like a drunken frat boy. The first one is still so scary because you don't see all that much of Freddy. You just get glimpses of him here and there, which makes him so much scarier because you can't fully grasp what he is. Ignore that terrible remake from a few years ago and stick with the original.

3. Phantasm
There are definitely some parts of "Phantasm" that aren't quite as effective as when it came out, but Angus Scrimm (who's still alive!) is probably the most underrated horror villain of all time. If you think it's not as scary as it used to be, wait until the end. That mirror scene gets me every single time.

4. The Blair Witch Project
I know it sounds ridiculous calling this a "classic" but it's been over 15 years since its original release, which makes me feel incredibly old. I know this movie gets a lot of hate, but let me explain why it's so good. In almost every horror movie that comes out now, there are loads of fake, jump scares. It's those annoying little moments that are completely fabricated to get you to jump out of your seat. They don't advance the plot and usually it's either in the character's mind or a false alarm. "Blair Witch Project" avoids all of that. It's somewhat of a slow burn that establishes a story, let's us develop a relationship with the characters, and then manically tortures them.

One of the biggest complaints, which is completely absurd, is that you never actually see a witch or whatever is hunting them. Uh..yeah, that's the point. Remember in the movie "Jeepers Creepers" how terrifying the first 20-30 minutes were? Then remember how unbelievably bad the last 2 acts were? It's because after a half hour, "Jeepers Creepers" goes from a shadowy figure we only see in glances to an over-the-top monster that spends way too much time on screen. What you can't see is always scarier because your mind will create something much more devious than any special effects team. When you see the monster you can process it and it loses the scare element. That's exactly why Blair Witch Project should be appreciated for how amazing it truly is.

The Omen Damien
5. The Omen
I may be one of the few people that didn't mind the Julia Stiles 2006 remake, but it was nowhere near as good as the original. The feel of dread and despair was so heavy through the whole film and it still evokes those same feelings today. I don't think Damien will ever not be creepy. Add that with the brilliant acting of Gregory Peck and it's a timeless story that I'm sure will be recycled again and again.

6. Suspiria
There is no horror movie from the '70s that will still completely terrify you like "Suspiria." I'm not forgetting "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" either. Dario Argento did some incredible work through his career, but the surreal atmosphere he created along with a perfectly disturbing score makes it relevant to any generation. If "Suspiria" came out in theaters today as-is, it would still be a hit.

7. Cujo
I have no idea why my parents let me watch "Cujo" as a child. It totally made me terrified of dogs for a large portion of my childhood. What makes Stephen King's tale so chilling is that the "monster" is basically a part of the family. Cujo is the boy's best friend and a loving dog, but with one false step he becomes a rabid beast trying to kill them. It's terrifying to think something we love and trust could completely transform in an instant. King understands that and created true horror by bringing it down to the smallest of scales.

8. The Brood
If you're looking for a movie you can kind of pay attention to while texting or checking your Facebook, this is not the film for you. "The Brood" builds slowly, as most horror films should. We don't know these characters, so without giving us a chance to invest them, they become generic, cardboard cutouts just waiting for their turn to die. "The Brood" may take a while to get there, but when it does, you actually care.

Hellraiser pinhead
9. Hellraiser
I actually didn't see "Hellraiser" until 2010, many, many years after it hit theaters, but that didn't make it any less terrifying. The acting isn't superb, but the visuals Clive Barker created makes you feel like you're actually looking into hell itself. It's gory and grimy and makes you want to go take a shower after you watch it. No movie portrays evil better than "Hellraiser."

10. Night of the Living Dead
"Night of the Living Dead" is nearly 50 years old and is still unbelievably scary. There are movies from 5 years ago that feel dated, yet George A. Romero created such an iconic film, it still feels fresh today. I remember watching this with my dad in the late '80s or early '90s and he had to turn it off because he kept feeling like there was something or someone behind him. Years later, I watched it again and it still feels that way. It's just a haunting movie from beginning to end.

11. Event Horizon
For the most part, the 90s were a terrible time for horror. You could honestly count the good ones on a single hand. Not only is "Event Horizon" one of the best of the decade, it may be one of the best sci-fi horror films ever made. Alien gets all the love, but Sam Neill being exceptionally creepy combined with all those quick cuts of demonic imagery make "Event Horizon" one of those movies that stick with you for days after you watch it. If you haven't seen it, you owe it to yourself to check it out.

12. Invasion of the Body Snatchers
I prefer the 1978 version because the pointing and screaming move the infected do throughout the movie is nightmarish to say the least. The problem is that the story has been redone so many times most people won't see the point in checking out a classic version of a movie they've already seen. I didn't hate the Nicole Kidman remake, and the 1956 version is good, but neither feel as chilling as Philip Kaufman's take on it.

 

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