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And Now It's Time For Leonardo DiCaprio's Head on the Bodies of Strangers

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If you're here, you're pretty much aware that the Internet is a very, very random place. We can thank Joel Strong and his website, My Day with Leo, for adding to it. Strong walks around with cutouts of Leo DiCaprio and places them over the bodies off strangers he encounters and snaps a photo of it. If you've ever wanted to know what a young DiCaprio would look like with the body of your grandmother, you're about to find out.

(H/T Distractify)


leonardo dicaprio, leonardo dicaprio's head on other people's body








 

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A Dozen Helpful Tech Hacks That Will Keep You Happy

14 Parents Share the Weirdest Thing Their Child Has Randomly Said

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funny kids saying weird things
Kids are infamous for saying horrible, inappropriate, yet hilarious things. You'll be humiliated, but you can't help but laugh. A Reddit thread asked parents to share the most unintentionally hilarious thing their child has ever said. Here are some of the funniest ones out of the conversation:

1. No More Cable For Her
My 4 year old blond angelic looking daughter told her visiting grandparent's to "Bite my shiny metal ass". Bless her.

2. Cheap Present
I asked my three year old what he wanted for his birthday. His response? "Cheese."

3. The Party Worm
My five year old daughter was playing My Little Ponies when I heard her say the funniest thing I've ever heard. She said, "I'm Slurms McKenzie, the Original Party Worm." No idea where she heard that or how she came up with it.

4. The Tooth Fairy
Daughter (3 1/2 years old) - The tooth fairy came last night.
Wife - Oh really.
Daughter - Yeah she was really, really big.
Wife- Oh yeah?
Daughter- Yeah, but it is ok I killed her. She is dead.

5. The Walking Dead
My son, 4 at the time, looked me square in the eye during dinner and said "I'm not worried about Zombies mom, I'll just dig out their eyes with my fork."

6. Different Language
My nephew had inner ear problems for quite a while and so his parents and my parents seemed to be the only people who could understand him until he was about 7. It was very confusing for me when he'd run into the room and yell what sounded like "FLAGNA TRUMIN BRANA FNUAR!" and my mother would say "No you can't have a bag of crisps".

7. No Thanks, Maroon 5
My three year old daughter loves listening and dancing around to 'Moves like Jagger'. After about the 4th repeat my eight year old son stands up and says, "That's it, I am going to my room to listen to Pink Floyd!" and storms off. Never been more proud!

8. Story Time
My four year old will sit next to his little sister (one and a half) and ask her if she wants to hear a story. If she keeps looking at him, he begins with "Once upon a time," and then he launches into his latest exploits on Mario 64 or Zelda. He goes into detail about the "monsters" he can't get past and how his trains keep getting blown up. He's very original.

9. Star Wars
My girlfriend's kid calls Star Wars "Tar Whores"

One time while playing he loudly declared "I want octopus water, to hell with your drinks!"

10. Self Esteem
My daughter is three, and has taken to coming up to my belly, jiggling it, and saying, "Ewwwww, that's your body!" Self-esteem boost, let me tell ya.

11. Mariah Carey
Not my child, but my little sister, at age two, was with my family at Christmas. 'All I Want for Christmas is You' by Mariah Carey started playing. She immediately stopped playing with her toys, tilted her head sideways quizzically, then said: 'This isn't good music!'

12. Brutal Honesty
I just had a baby a week ago (C-section) and was in the bathroom looking at my belly in the mirror. My 5 year old son walked in and with a very serious, very pained voice said "your body is... so OLD."

13. Ominous
The other day, my three-and-a-half-year-old daughter was hanging out with my wife. My daughter said "I love you so much! I want to keep you forever, but I can't because you're gonna die.....BUT NOT YET!" and then she gave my wife a big hug.

14. Jesus is Cool
A family friend's four year old came up to me and said, "Jesus is pretty cool."

I wasn't really sure what to say to that, so I just said, "Yeah, why do you think that?"

He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Jesus came back from the grave, which makes him a zombie. Zombies are awesome!"

 

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Here's a Pretty Good Reason Why You Should Always Treat a Snakebite (Warning: Graphic)

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Tina Turner, Heidi Klum and Rihanna have all taken insurance policies out on their legs, so something like this would have meant a major payday for them.

Unfortunately for this poor girl, even a leg amputation at this point might not mean she's in the clear.

According to UPI, a 13-year-old Venezuelan girl's family didn't immediately seek treatment after she was bitten by a snake last month, and now her leg is probably the grossest thing we've ever seen:

girls leg snake bite
The girl is a member of an indigenous tribe, and her family didn't make the trip to Caracas for medical attention until one month had passed because they first tried to treat the bite with their own remedies.

One doctor said the snake's venom caused severe necrosis, causing the "tissue in her leg to die, leaving it withered and rotten." He also said the necrosis has led to rhabdomyolysis, which means her muscle tissue "will begin to die throughout the body."

In a related story, I think I'll pass on lunch today.

Here's a bite that is surprisingly worse: Indian Woman Bites Off Husband's Balls Because He Cooked His Own Food

 

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Pepper to the People!

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Pepper to the People!

Meet Greg Benson, YouTube's most prolific prankster. We set him loose in Los Angeles to torture tourists for our viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

 

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Coolest Dog Ever Fetches a Beer For His Owner

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I've heard of dogs doing amazing things for their owners before, but I've never witnessed it firsthand, as expecting anything more than a blast or two of unwanted wind from my wife's purse dog while he's lying on my chest during the game would simply be wishful thinking.

That's not the case with Bennett, however, as the cattle dog not only retrieves a beer for his "parched" owner on command, but also opens the refrigerator to do so and closes it after he's grabbed the bottle of suds:


Bennett has probably set the awesome bar for dogs to an unreachable height. Well, unless his next move is to walk down the street and pick up two college coeds to enjoy the beer with his master.

But I guess we shouldn't be getting too greedy here. For his owner's sake, let's just hope he didn't spend the previous half hour chewing on his ass before putting the bottle in his mouth.

​This suddenly seems way less impressive: Watch This Adorable Dog Ring a Bell Every Time She Wants a Treat

 

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We'll Pass on This Carton of Buttermilk With an Orange Penis on It

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It's not like we're drinking buttermilk on a regular basis, but looking at the carton only to see a giant set of orange male genitalia staring back at us isn't going to entice us to try it.

According to Huffington Post, the latest logo for Tesco buttermilk is pretty much the outline of a pitcher set inside a giant orange scrotum. And of course, thanks to the carton on the right side having a crease in it, there is also what looks like a large orange dick attempting to lure you in for the purchase:

tesco orange penis buttermilk
79 pence seems like a decent price for a liter of buttermilk, but just for some peace of mind, we'll go ahead and pay a little extra for a carton without the orange dong. And we'll also be content with drinking the buttermilk straight from the carton instead of the manner in which their logo is suggesting.

Move over, Doughboys. There's a new poorly chosen penis-esque logo to take your place on the list: 15 Very Poor Business Logo Choices

 

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This Poor Little Girl Just Learned a Very Sad Lesson About Life

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This poor, sweet girl. So much joy, so much excitement, so much horror as she watches it all go up in flames.

Fortunately, her painful life lesson turned into a prize-winning video on "America's Funniest Home Videos," so now her father with slow reflexes should be able to buy her a new toy fairy. He just needs to keep it far away from the fireplace this time.

 

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Today's Funny Photos

10 Myths About Animal Intelligence Debunked

10 Great Movies With Disappointing Endings

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There's nothing worse than investing hours into a great movie only to have the bottom drop in the last act with a disappointing ending. Keep in mind that these films are all considered great by me, a very prestigious film writer (Editor's note: this is highly debatable), and that my hopes for their endings were much greater than their crappy ones. What do you think? **Beware: spoilers ahead**

Gone Girl (2014)
movies with disappointing endings, gone girl
That's right, I said it. What an incredible back-and-forth, love/hate relationship you have with these two great characters (played by Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike); you're uncertain whom to root for from start to finish. But sitting through their relationship on both sides of the bench, you knew one of them had to come out the victor, only to watch their relationship drag on into eternity with all the other failed marriages of the world. He should have cleverly stuck it to her in the talk show interview at the end, like he planned, or she should have stayed clear of people instead of having movie night with her new neighbor, like anybody else would have planned. Talk about zero closure. (Photo credit: Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation/Photofest)


The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (2003)
movies with disappointing endings, lord of the rings return of the king
What a strong ending to one of the most epic trilogies in history. Which ending am I referring to though? Because there were about six of them. "Return of the King" wrapped up Peter Jackson's exhausting journey for the hobbits and their golden quest to Mordor, but did they really have to say a thousand goodbyes before cutting to black? At least 30 minutes of my life could've been spared if they had just picked one ending and called it a day. In fact, the endings alone could've made a fourth film out of the series for Mr. Jackson: "The Lord of the Rings: The Never-Ending Six Goodbyes." (Photo credit: Photofest)


Signs (2002)
movies with disappointing endings, signs
"Signs" offers a realistic family dynamic between Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix, along with Abigail Breslin, with a bit of suspense and some interestingly burned crop circles. The suspense of an alien invasion in your own home is great, but the convenience of water-the most prevalent and easy-to-find thing on the planet-being the one thing to disorient the aliens seems too sloppy. The only thing more classic than the 'poisonous' water is Joaquin Phoenix 'swinging away' with a bat at a low-budget looking alien man in the living room even after Mel Gibson realizes the water kills them (and then does the slow turn to his daughter). Maybe just turn on the hose next time. You'd think with a $72 million budget they could get a better looking alien in that living room. (Photo credit: Buena Vista Pictures/Photofest)


War of the Worlds (2005)
movies with disappointing endings, war of the worlds
The whole Spielberg film-based loosely on the H.G. Wells novel-centered around the death and destruction brought on by a long-winded battle with aliens who had plotted our demise long before our arrival. The film, starring Tom Cruise, was visually appealing as well as suspenseful throughout. We just can't get over the fact that everything was seemingly done until the extraterrestrials caught a bad case of the flu and started dying off on their own. Then it ends so perfectly in a nice autumn neighborhood not too far away, as if all that death and destruction somehow didn't make its way to that side of town. Thank you, Hollywood, for another Hollywood happy ending. (Photo credit: Paramount Pictures/Photofest)


Scream 2 (1997)
movies with disapppointing endings, scream 2
Everybody loves a good scary movie, especially this time of the year, but after one of the classic '90s horrors "Scream," its sequel was worth shouting at when they revealed that the mother of Billy Loomis (from the original) was one of the killers. Not only is Laurie Metcalf an old, skinny bag incapable of being sly or dangerous (especially without her gun), but no dude would ever team up with such an unlikely killer and start offing people, except of course in "Breaking Bad." What's your favorite scary movie? Not this one. (Photo credit: Scream 2)


Kill Bill Vol. II (2004)
movies with disappointing endings, kill bill vol. II
Never has there been a more nonchalant end to a fight scene in film. Original in its delivery, Tarantino delivers Bill a knock-out punch from Uma Thurman with her time-release "five-point palm exploding heart technique" that sends him (David Carradine) walking slowly to his death. After five steps, the person's heart explodes. Maybe he should have stayed in that chair. And it felt horribly placed considering the amount of swords available in the film. The first time we saw it, we thought "how original." But after that, it felt more like "I think he'll be OK if he has a glass of water." At least he called her "a real cunt" before it was all over. (Photo credit: Miramax/Photofest)


Cast Away (2000)
movies with disappointing endings, castaway
One of Tom Hanks' most incredible films, "Cast Away" takes you on a great stranded-on-an-island journey only to have his character travel the seas and make his way home to the arms of his loving wife, who happens to be with another man. Although the realistic sensation it brings when you see Chuck Noland's heart sink is gut-wrenching, we can't help but feel the whole trip home was for nothing, other than being stuck in the middle of a dirt road with no direction at all in the end.(Photo credit: DreamWorks SKG/Photofest)


American Gangster (2007)
movies with disappointing endings, american gangster
The late '60s Harlem crime scene is a fascinating piece of American history, and "American Gangster" is (based on) a true story about the man, Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington), who ran it all and the lawman (Russell Crowe) who brought him down. The one rule of any crime organization: Don't talk to the cops. So what does Lucas do when he's in a pinch? Talks to the cops. After snitching on every person he knows, we watch classic f**k-the-police notorious boss sell out to save his own skin, and somehow manages not to get killed in Ridley Scott's anti-climactic ending. As we watch Denzel broke, walking with his new cop buddy Russell, we realize the movie should have been more aptly titled "American Squealer." (Photo credit: Universal Studios/Photofest)


Batman (1989)
movies with disappointing endings, batman
Arguably the best Batman film to date, everything about this movie feels classic, except the ending. It's rather bothersome how Tim Burton not only killed off the Joker (Jack Nicholson) at the end, dropping him from the top of church cathedral after Batman (Michel Keaton) sent him to his death. In the Christopher Nolan series, Christian Bale's Dark Knight refuses to be a murderer, and in the original "Batman," Keaton does exactly the opposite. (Photo credit: Warner Bros./Photofest)


I Am Legend (2007)
movies with disappointing endings, i am legend
Robert Neville (Will Smith), one of the last surviving people in a post-epidemic, vampire mutant world is immune to the virus, working on a cure. The film follows the novel up to the very end and then hangs a hard left, making Will Smith look like a hero, but in the novel, the reality is that they're attacking his home because he has been capturing and killing them. Turns out they're intelligent, compassionate mutant vampires who just want their captured friend back, and Will Smith is actually the asshole. Who knew? How about Richard Matheson, the original author, for one? But seriously, PETA couldn't have been happy about him snapping that poor dog's neck. (Photo credit: Warner Bros. Pictures/Photofest)

 

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Reporter Loses It On Camera

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Reporter Loses It On Camera

Meet Greg Benson, YouTube's most prolific prankster. We set him loose in Los Angeles to torture tourists for our viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

 

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The Pre-Game: Brian McKnight Sings Honest Lyrics To "Back At One"

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The Pre-Game: Brian McKnight Revisits 'Back At One'

Welcome back to "The Pre-Game" with your host Cy Amundson, our show that features everything you care about in the world of football, social media and comedy. Today's episode features 16-time Grammy nominee Brian McKnight and comedian Heather McDonald breaking down the worse NFL fan outfits and pick winners for Thursday's matchup between the Carolina Panthers and New Orleans Saints. Then Brian revisits his biggest hit, "Back At One"-only this time he sings realistic lyrics. And it's hilarious.

"The Pre-Game" host and producer Cy Amundson has quickly established himself as one of the nation's fastest rising stand-up comedians. He was a standout performer as a New Face at last summer's Montreal Just For Laughs Festival and recently made his television debut on "Conan."

Named CMT's Next Big Comic for 2011, Cy has been on the "Bob and Tom Show" and has performed in the Aspen Comedy Festival, Seattle International Comedy Competition, and the Great American Comedy Festival.

Visit the Home of "The Pre-Game" for more episodes.

 

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9 Inspiring Tipping Stories That'll Warm Even the Chilliest of Hearts

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H.L. Mencken said the way to heaven was to give a homely woman a wink once a day. I'm inclined to agree, but it seems another way to reach that kingdom in the sky is to tip big, whenever you can. Unlike LeSean McCoy, these tippers have transformed lives and become legends in their generous domain.

Waitress Fulfills Dream of Traveling to Italy Thanks to Customer
9 inspiring tipping stories, trip to italy
The bill was $60. The tip was $1,000.

After a waitress struck up a conversation with a diner and mentioned her dream of traveling to Italy, the tip brought quite the surprise. The tipper simply handed her the bill and told her to "take care."

He then walked out, never saying another word.


Mysterious Tipper Leaves over $130,000 at Restaurants Across US
9 inspiring tipping stories, tips for jesus
Back in late 2013, an anonymous tipper began leaving insane gratuities in restaurants in a few states. He left $10,000 at the Hungry Cat in Los Angeles, $5,000 at Paris Club in Chicago and $3,000 at Tio's Mexican Café in Ann Arbor. Altogether this mystery man has given away more than $130,000 to servers, bartenders and caddies.

Leaving only the Instagram handle @TipsForJesus on receipts, the person appears to be simply in it for the magnanimity. Several media outlets have fingered PayPal ex-Vice President Jack Selby as the likely tipper.


Man Leaves $10,000 Tip for Burger and Fries
9 inspiring tipping stories, bob erb
Bob Erb walked into a Canadian burger joint and began talking with restaurateur Clifford Luther. Luther mentioned his daughter had recently been diagnosed with cancer. Erb, who was on his way to bury his father's ashes, wrote out a check for $10,000 to pay for his burger and fries.

Luther said: "It's really lifted my spirits. There are just some really caring people out there."

Erb had recently won the $25 million lottery, and it is estimated he's given away $8 million of it. He's even donated $1 million to help legalize marijuana.


Two Tips Totaling $6,000 Mesmerizes Ogden, Utah
9 inspiring tipping stories,
In August 2013, two Utah bars received outrageous tips. One was for $5,000 on a $214.75 bill and the other was for $1,000 on a $49 bill. ABC News alleged Sir Richard Branson as the mysterious tipper, who was spotted in Ogden at the same time, but the bars have kept the identity of the man a secret.

"He seemed like just a guy who does well for himself and chose to share it with others," bar owner Jared Allen said. "It was really generous of the guy and he jumped through hoops to do it."


One More Reason Why Johnny Depp Is the Epitome of Cool
9 inspiring tipping stories, johnny depp
Johnny Depp had just finished filming "Public Enemy." His was celebrating at the notorious Gibson's Steakhouse in Chicago. According to veteran waiter Mohammed Sekhani, the group ordered appetizers like "shrimp cocktails" and bottle after bottle of $500 wine.

Depp left a $4,000 tip.

Sekhani is no stranger to Depp's kindness: "I have worked with a lot of stars like Sean Connery and Robert De Niro but Johnny Depp is my favorite. He is a very soft-spoken guy who is very charming and sweet." Aw.


Kentucky Man Fulfills Brother's Dying Wish
9 inspiring tipping stories, seth collins
"Leave an awesome tip. And I don't mean 25%. I mean $500 on a f*cking pizza."

Those were the dying words of Aaron Collins, a man who passed at the age of 30. It was meant for his brother, Seth. When Aaron died, Seth and his family went on a mission to fulfill his wish.

Seth has left more than $40,000 at 81 restaurants across the U.S.

Julie Bombria, one waitress, said she felt like she was going to faint after receiving one of the $500 gratuities.


Iowa Couple Leaves Big Tip after Bad Service
9 inspiring tipping stories, iowa couple
Makenzie and Steven Schultz dropped a $100 tip after their waiter failed to wait well. It took "20 minutes to get water, 40 minutes to get an appetizer, and an hour to get their entrée."

The couple realized it wasn't his fault, and the restaurant was simply short-staffed. So they paid it forward. Their Facebook post has received over 1.6 million likes.


Man Leaves $1,000 After Bartender Tells Him Her Dog is at the Vet
9 inspiring tipping stories, dog at vet
A couple at a New Jersey hotel bar saw a paw print tattoo on bartender Christina's wrist. They asked her what kind of dog she had. Christina said she had a Labrador mix named Tucker that was currently at the hospital undergoing surgery after swallowing a plastic ball. Christina further explained it was tough at the moment because her three jobs couldn't support her bills or her three children.

The couple left a $1,000 tip. Christina told them she couldn't accept the money, but the man told her he would be honored to help pay for Tucker's surgery.


Waitress Gets $3 Million Tip ... Yes, Really
9 inspiring tipping stories, cop shares lotto tic
Phyllis Penzo was a waitress at Sal's Pizzeria in Yonkers, New York, for 24 years. She often worked six nights a week. When police detective Robert Cunningham, 55, finished his meal, he offered her a deal: split his $1 lottery ticket instead of a tip.

It sounds like a raw deal at face value. But the next day Penzo received a call from Cunningham telling her they won $6 million together. Penzo leaped out of bed and told her husband they were rich.
The event was made into a movie, "It Could Happen to You," starring Nicolas Cage, before he became the Internet's biggest joke. The two families split the lottery payout of $285,715 a year for 21 years.

Then Cunningham went back to work because he loved being a police detective.

 

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Jose Canseco Shot Off His Middle Finger Last Night

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Some former athletes are pretty desperate for attention once they have left the playing field, but there are probably better ways to get it than this.
Jose Canseco and smoking hot fiancé
According to TMZ Sports, former MLB MVP and admitted steroids-user Jose Canseco accidentally blew off the middle finger on his left hand last night while cleaning his gun in his Las Vegas home.


Less than one week after Canseco used his Twitter account to tell his followers to not fly Delta Airlines because they are a "scam," Canseco's fiancé and sexy WAG Leila Knight used it to confirm the news of the former slugger's injury.
Doctors said that even under the best of circumstances, Canseco will never regain full use of his digit, but even Canseco knows it could have been much worse.
Shooting off your middle finger while cleaning your handgun sounds awful, but it's way more badass than injuring yourself playing Guitar Hero: The 26 Dumbest Sports Injuries of All Time

 

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Your Thoughts As Your Girlfriend Attempts To Parallel Park

Davina Rankin Has Serious Flex Appeal

Texas School Cop Tells Woman He Will Let Her Go if He Can Smell Her Feet

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Yup, this guy was in charge of somebody's kids.

According to UPI, former Cy-Fair School District Officer Patrick Quinn is in deep shit after prosecutors say he told a woman he pulled over that she could go free "if she allowed him to smell her feet or if she gave him her underwear."
School Cop tells woman she can go free if he can smell her feet
Despite the fact that he shouldn't have been conducting traffic stops because he was just a school district officer, prosecutors say Quinn did just that at 3 a.m. on August 11. Quinn allegedly told the woman he pulled over that she had expired plates and her vehicle smelled of weed.

A subsequent search of her vehicle netted a marijuana grinder, which the woman denied owning. Quinn allegedly placed her in the back of his patrol car and then told her she could go free if she let him take a whiff of her feet or handed over her panties. He also said that if she let him smell her feet, he was "probably going to lick them, too."

That didn't happen, and Quinn let the woman go, telling her to "forget about it." That didn't happen either, and now Quinn has been hit with two official oppression charges.

Maybe for a punishment he should be forced to smell this foot: Here's a Pretty Good Reason Why You Should Always Treat a Snakebite

 

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SlickforceGirl Melanie Iglesias Signs Posters For The Troops

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Fans of Melanie Iglesias will appreciate that she's not only good-looking, but that she's doing good for the troops by raising money and signing autographs as a SlickforceGirl, with proceeds supporting Hope For The Warriors. It's great to see someone give back, but all good intentions aside, we're loving that Marine Melanie poster. And we're always loving Melanie in general. We think you will, too.

For more of Nick Saglimbeni's "Girls Gone Hero" series, visit SlickforceGirl.com.

 

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California Man Freaks Out After Not Being Thanked for Holding the Door (NSFW Language)

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This has to be the most exciting thing that has ever happened in Redding, California.

According to Gawker, a man who was holding the door for customers at an In-N-Out Burger in Redding recently was asked by employees to leave the premises if he wasn't going to buy something. It didn't go the way they thought it would (NSFW):


Apparently, this epic rant almost didn't happen. Reddit user Bucky_Dun_Gun uploaded the video on Tuesday and said the man initially left before coming back inside to have his "meltdown."

Surprisingly, despite several children being present amongst the In-N-Out faithful, the "f**king Christian" used language not often associated with religious folk. And while the incident had to be terrifying for those kids, employees and other customers, you have to feel really bad for those plants. I mean, what did they do?

We also feel bad for the guy who lost his sh*t, as it looks like there wasn't much of a wait to get your hands on a delicious Double-Double, and he totally missed out on one.

Usually, outbursts like this take place in Florida: Florida Man Gets Year in Jail After Epic Court Rant

 

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