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Mandatory Viewing: The Glow Stick Incident

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Mandatory Viewing: The Glow Stick Incident

Welcome to Mandatory Viewing, our weekly show where men talk sports, politics, current events and really weird Internet videos they hope their children will never see. This week: the latest 'naughty' word you're allowed to say on TV, a hilarious moment on QVC, a father-son moment that'll encourage safer sex, and more.

 

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Kayla Renee Lewis is the Dirty Blonde of Your Dirty Dreams

Natalia Borges is Brazilian and Gorgeous

Sexy Sarah Stage Returns to the Spotlight

Today's Funny Photos

Pranked: The Metal Detector

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Pranked: The Metal Detector

Meet Greg Benson, YouTube's most prolific prankster. We set him loose in Los Angeles to torture tourists for our viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

 

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Fast Food Formations: Homer Simpson Built From Junk Food

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Fast Food Formations: Homer Simpson Built From Junk Food

In our latest video series on Mandatory, "Fast Food Formations," we play with dinner like total pros. In this week's episode, we build a giant Homer Simpson out of treats we picked up in front of the register at the Kwik-E-Mart, including 29 mini-powdered donuts, 96 gummy bears and much, much more.

 

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10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales That Will Make You Never Want To Swim Again

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Shark Week came early this year. I'll keep these stories as graphic as possible, so you can live vicariously through them and never want to go to the beach again. Be warned: These shark attacks are the worst of the worst. Enjoy.

10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales to Tingle Your Spine
1. When Abalone Diving Goes Wrong
Randy Fry and his buddy Cliff went out to catch some abalone off the Mendocino coast in August 2004. Less than 15 minutes in the water, Cliff heard a heavy 'whoosh' under him. The water was a distinct red in a matter of seconds.

"I heard a noise like a submarine, like a boat going by fast."

A Great White shark the size of a pickup truck killed Fry instantly. A couple days later, they found his headless body in the cold Northern California sea.

10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales to Tingle Your Spine
2. Dinosaur-Sized Great White Obliterates Man as Onlookers Watch
Horror would strike a quaint tourist town on the coast of Cape Town on a warm January day. Witnesses saw a "dinosaur-sized" shark "longer than a minibus" attack Lloyd Skinner in chest-deep water 100 meters out.

The only thing they found were his goggles. A man tweeted what happened as he saw it: "Holy shit, we just saw a GIGANTIC shark eat what looked like a person right in front of our house in fishhoek [sic]. Unbelievable."

10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales to Tingle Your Spine
3. "Help Me, Dude!"
In 2010, Lucas Ransom went out to Surf Beach for a nice afternoon of boogie boarding with his friend, Matthew Garcia. Ransom, a UC Santa Barbara junior, was sitting on his board a mere two feet away from Garcia when an estimated 18-foot-long Great White poked its head out of the water and clamped down on his leg.

Ransom screamed, "Help me, dude!" before he was pulled under.

The waves turned red. Garcia saw him drifting lifeless in the water, his leg mauled, and he pulled Ransom to shore and tried to give him CPR, but it was futile.

Oddly enough, Ransom joked about being attacked by a shark the night before.

10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales to Tingle Your Spine
4. Woman Ripped in Half and Devoured by Massive Shark
In 1985, 33-year-old Shirley Ann Durdin was scanning the sea floor for scallops in Fort Lincoln, Australia. Her husband and four children were watching from the beach. Durdin was in only seven feet of water when a gargantuan Great White crashed into her and bit her in half.

The shark was estimated to be at least 20 feet long. The first strike instantly killed her, and the shark doubled back to continue chowing. When rescuers rushed out to save her, they discovered only a headless torso.

Her husband Barry had to be held down while he watched in terror. "She's gone, she's gone," he cried.

10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales to Tingle Your Spine
5. Man Eaten Whole
In June 1959, Robert Pamperin and his friend (and witness) Gerald Lehrer went abalone diving in La Jolla, Calif. They were in about 40 feet of water.

Suddenly, Lehrer heard the screams of Pamperin, 50 feet away: "Help!"

He saw Pamperin rise out of the water with a giant shark latched onto his legs. The shark then slowly brought him under.

Lehrer dove. He saw a 23-foot-long Great White dragging Pamperin down to the ocean floor, thrashing his body. Lehrer tried to frighten the shark by waving his hands, but it didn't help. He beelined it to the shore to get help.

Authorities only found a swim fin and an inner tube.

10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales to Tingle Your Spine
6. Man Watches Father and Brother Get Eaten as He Clings for Dear Life
A man and his two sons were forced to abandon their fishing boat when it capsized amid gale force winds in Northeastern Australia in 1988. They boarded a half-submerged dinghy, which they clung onto after calling in a mayday.

While battling huge waves and howling winds, they noticed two sharks twice the size of their dinghy stalking them. The sharks eventually began pounding on the small lifeboat. Father Cedric Coucom fell and the two massive sharks tore off his leg and pulled him from the boat as his kids helplessly watched.

Later, younger brother Bruce couldn't hack it much longer; exhausted and delirious, he decided to let go of the skiff and drifted away. His brother James witnessed yet another of his kin get killed. The sea beasts took his head.

Rescuers came upon James in shock as two massive sharks ominously circled the dinghy.

10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales to Tingle Your Spine
7. Haitian Immigrants Capsize Boat, Tiger Sharks Take Advantage
"It was a pretty horrible sight. It's just not something you can get out of your brain."

Coast Guard Jonathan Rose came upon an overturned vessel off the Florida coast in 2008. He saw tiger sharks circling the boat. He also saw three bloody bodies floating in the water, and he watched as one was being mauled and consumed.

A large group of Haitians capsized the boat due to overcrowding. The sharks came and began feasting on the crew. The names of the three men and woman killed are unknown.
10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales to Tingle Your Spine
8. Brazilian Teenager Dies After Shark Tears Apart Leg ... All Captured on Video (NSFW)
An 18-year-old woman was wading in waist-deep water when a bull shark bit into her leg. It was all captured on video. Rescuers brought her to shore, but she later died after doctors amputated her mangled leg.

A total of 28 fatal shark attacks have happened in the same spot Bruna Gobbi met her demise.

10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales to Tingle Your Spine
9. Woman Witnesses Husband's Death by Great White on Honeymoon
It was the happiest week of her life. Gemma Redmond was honeymooning with her husband Ian on the Indian Ocean archipelago of Seychelles. One day, Ian went snorkeling only 20 yards out while Gemma sat on the beach reading.

She suddenly heard his screams. When Ian arose from the water, she knew it was serious.

His face pale, Ian fell as blood poured from his wounds. He had been bitten several times by a Great White. He soon died.

When asked why the couple chose Seychelles for their honeymoon, Gemma said because of "the beautiful waters and the fact that there aren't really any dangerous animals." She says she still hears his screams when she closes her eyes.

10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales to Tingle Your Spine
10. Shark Kills 10-Year-Old in Four Feet of Water
Young Virginia boy David Peltier was hanging out on a sandbar some 50 yards from the shore. Beachgoers saw what appeared to be a shadowy blow-up toy in the distance, but it wasn't. "The way the child screamed and the reaction of the dad, I knew it wasn't a toy," one witness said.

A large shark clamped down on David's thigh and thrashed. His father fought and punched to release him, and when he did, David suffered massive blood loss due to a severed artery.

He died in the hospital.

 

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The 10 Best Films Starring Dogs

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Most decent films feature a love interest in their plots, but really great films feature man with his best friend--his canine companion. We found the 10 best films starring dogs, and we dedicate this to them in all their slobbery glory. "Marley & Me" didn't make the cut, so hopefully you won't be in tears by the end of this. Honorable mention to the animated animals we adore, "Up" pup Dug and the beautiful cocker, Lady (not Tramp).
Turner & Hooch (1989)
The Best Films With Dogs as a Lead, Turner & Hooch
Hooch was the slobbery throat-choking beast who terrifies neat freak, small-town detective Scott Turner (Tom Hanks) at the start of the film. When his owner died, Turner is forced to board the French mastiff, despite his clear disdain for it, in an attempt to solve the murder case. The two go from mangy mutt and type-A cop to man and best friend with a whole lot of drool and even more ruined upholstery.

Beethoven (1992)
The Best Films With Dogs as a Lead, Beethoven
The lost pup who searches out the Newton family to raise him quickly became an overgrown hairball that could not win over the stereotypical family man and his indifference to pets, especially a giant St. Bernard. It's not until Beethoven is the subject of animal cruelty that the family's dad, George (Charles Grodin), changes his mind about Beethoven, or just gives in to all the slobber.

The Sandlot (1993)
The Best Films With Dogs as a Lead, The Sandlot
When it comes to Hercules, it's a classic case of a dog's bark being worse than his bite. The staple children's film circles a boy who moves to town and joins a group of baseball-loving suburban kids who lose many a red-stitched ball to the monstrous paws of "The Beast." That is, until they realize looks can be deceiving when it comes to their neighbor, Mr. Mertle (James Earl Jones) and his English mastiff, Hercules, in the summer of '62 when Marley Shelton was in her lifeguard bikini prime.

The Mask (1994)
The Best Films With Dogs as a Lead, The Mask
When your owner wears a green mask and dresses like a psycho, only a good dog like Milo in "The Mask" can help his dad (Jim Carrey) find the right outfit before terrorizing the town. The Jack Russell terrier not only frees his crazy companion from jail, he even tries on the mask himself and takes a real "bite" out of crime. See what we did there?

Old Yeller (1957)
The Best Films With Dogs as a Lead, Old Yeller
No dog list is complete without the original man's best friend, Old Yeller. The labrador retriever/mastiff mix stars in the 1957 film during post-Civil War Texas and is--still to this day--the iconic protector of his owner, sacrificing himself for the young boy. Old Yeller was then put down "out back" because he had contracted rabies from the wolf, a scene that is referenced to this day.

Anchorman (2004)
The Best Films With Dogs as a Lead, Anchorman
A Spanish-speaking border terrier with a love for cheese and his mustached master, Baxter is a classic modern-day mutt with a brain for communicating with orphan sharks, as well as having the resilience of a cat with a hundred lives. Although "Anchorman 2" didn't hold up for a lot of people, everybody loves Baxter, even the evil, soulless dog-haters of the film-buff community.

Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)
The Best Films With Dogs as a Lead, Ernest Scared Stupid
Ernest P. Worrell and his Jack Russell sidekick, Rimshot, are at it again in a playful twist on trolls and Halloween. Fitting this time of year, a paranoid real-life Inspector Gadget, Worrell (Jim Varney) has to take down a gang of ugly mutants from taking over despite the townspeople's disbelief in horror stories. But as usual, Rimshot is the unsung hero in this small-town fight against evil as he silently saves Ernest from all his clumsy mishaps.

As Good As It Gets (1997)
The Best Films With Dogs as a Lead, As Good As It Gets
An OCD addict Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) goes from homophobic dog-hater to obsessive, compulsive dog-lover while caring for his gay artist neighbor's Brussels Griffon, Verdell. What starts as a truly disturbed man who disturbs his neighbors becomes a blossoming human being in the throes of canine camaraderie. In fact, little Verdell even helps old Jack get into the pants of single mom, played by Helen Hunt. Dog truly is man's best friend.

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993)
The Best Films With Dogs as a Lead, Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey
Shadow is the Golden Retriever ringleader who tries to get back home with the help of his sidekicks, Sassy the cat and Chance the erratically dimwitted American Bulldog. With a little dog wisdom and a lot of close calls, the furry trio make their way home to their family, all thanks to Shadow and very little to Chance.

The Artist (2011)
The Best Films With Dogs as a Lead, The Artist
Possibly the most beloved Jack Russell terrier movie dog of all would be Uggie, the Oscar-worthy canine who managed to steal the show in the silent, Academy Award-winning film. George Valentin's (Jean Dujardin) little friend is more than just a stunt dog in films, he's an actor in his own right--nobody can play dead like Uggie. Not only was he a hit on screen, he was spectacular at the Golden Globes too, walking on two legs on the red carpet. He also became the first dog with his paws on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

 

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British Tabloid Headlines Are Ridiculously Outrageous

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Everyone knows that sex sells, and in this day and age, a little hyperbole doesn't hurt either. For the British tabloid newspapers, though, that's not enough. Bizarre stories, hearsay blended with speculation and ridiculous puns all make up the fabric that is the perfect British tabloid headline. Here are several of our favorites.

insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines
insane british tabloid headlines, crazy british news headlines

 

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The Actual Inspiration for the Film 'The Silence of the Lambs'

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Filmmakers and writers get story ideas in lots of weird places--while taking a shower, driving, dreams, news articles and the like. But this has to take the cake as the strangest origin story we've heard. And the best part is that it's 100 percent true.

inspiration for the silence of the lambs
inspiration for the silence of the lambs
inspiration for the silence of the lambs
inspiration for the silence of the lambs
inspiration for the silence of the lambs
inspiration for the silence of the lambs
h/t Afternoon Snooze Button

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

The Pre-Game: Meet The (Creepy) Parents

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The Pre-Game: Meeting The (Creepy) Parents
Welcome back to "The Pre-Game" with your host Cy Amundson, our show that features everything you care about in the world of sports, social media and comedy. Today's episode features actress Mircea Monroe and comedian Ryan Stout. Mircea and Ryan are here to help you figure out how to act around your new girlfriend's parents. (Pro tip: You should probably take Mircea's advice over Ryan's.) Then we pick the winner of this weekend's tilt between the New England Patriots and the Indianapolis Colts with careful thought and consideration. (Not really. We just played a game of Charades.)

"The Pre-Game" host and producer Cy Amundson has quickly established himself as one of the nation's fastest rising stand-up comedians. He was a standout performer as a New Face at last summer's Montreal Just For Laughs festival and recently made his television debut on "Conan."

Named CMT's Next Big Comic for 2011, Cy has been on the "Bob and Tom Show" and has performed in the Aspen Comedy Festival, Seattle International Comedy Competition, and the Great American Comedy Festival.

Visit the Home of "The Pre-Game" for more episodes.

 

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Meet Mixxxer, The Sex App We All Knew Was Coming

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As if the market needed another dating app--there's Tinder, Grindr, Christian Mingle, the list goes on and on for every type and sub-type--here's Mixxxer. What's it about? Well, the triple X in the name should give you a hint as to its purpose. Mixxxer doesn't beat around the bush. It straight-up advertises itself as "The Mobile Sex Finder." Whatever happened to hitting the bar at last call and seeing who was left over?

Unsurprisingly, Apple and Google have banned it from their stores, so it's only available as a mobile app. We have no experience with it (at least none that we're willing to share publicly,) but here are a few photos of its interface, using a PG-cute-as-pie pug in place of the risqué sex pics you're allowed to use. There's three headings: Basics, Looks and Details, where you pick who you are and who you're looking for (singles, couples or mix-and-match). The Looks heading gets into the nitty-gritty of your stats, and you might as well be honest because if things go as planned, there's no hiding you lied when the clothes come off. It works like other apps, in that you can choose with the swipe of a button to meet or delete. Sex goes mobile. Will you?

Mixxxer ap

Mixxxer ap

Mixxxer ap

Mixxxer ap

h/t MTV

 

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Life/Hacked: Wardrobe Edition

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Life/Hacked: Wardrobe Edition

Learn the life hacks you can pull out of your back pocket to amaze your friends and live a better day-to-day, safe in the knowledge that you're a secret genius. This week, we tackle wardrobe hacks that'll leave you looking your best when life happens all over your shirt collar. Or fly. Or both.

 

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Pranked: The Hungry Reporter

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Pranked: The Hungry Reporter

Meet Greg Benson, YouTube's most prolific prankster. We set him loose in Los Angeles to torture tourists for our viewing pleasure. But what would happen if we sent him out with a camera and a mic ... but no lunch? Meet -- the Hungry Reporter. Enjoy!

 

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A Redneck Commenting on Hipsters

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Hipster (noun): A person who phonily subscribes to nerd culture without actually being a nerd; one who fancies himself/herself a member of the cultural intelligentsia without actually being intelligent.

Redneck (noun): A person whose neck has been burnt by the hot southern sun; one who probably didn't vote for Barack.

Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters
Rednecks on Hipsters

 

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Today's Funny Photos

Famous People Yearbook Photos Prove They Were Just As Awkward As You Once

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Yep, even these super talented and attractive people were awkward at one point in their lives. Famous people: they're just like us. (Except after their awkward phases, they blossomed into rich and famous superstars.)
Megan Fox
famous people yearbook photos
Rashida Jones
famous people yearbook photos
George Clooney
famous people yearbook photos
January Jones
famous people yearbook photos
Zooey Deschanel
famous people yearbook photos
Jeremy Renner
famous people yearbook photos
Chris Pine
famous people yearbook photos
Cristin Milioti
famous people yearbook photos
Jake Gyllenhaal
famous people yearbook photos

 

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The Most Expensive Child Support Payments of Celebrities

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It isn't easy being a good daddy (or mommy), but it's probably more difficult writing a fat check every month when you're paying some of the most expensive child support payments around. For every guy with a little extra cash in his pocket, let this be a lesson to think twice before trying to pass off that bubblegum wrapper as a condom. Here are ten famous celebs with very expensive parenting bills.

Charlie Sheen: $110K/month
Celebrity's Most Expensive Child Support Payments, Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen was paying a reported $55K for two daughters to Denise Richards and another $55K to Brooke Mueller for their twin boys. However, it was reported in early 2014 that Sheen quit paying the court-ordered support to Richards because she wouldn't let him near his kids, and then he allegedly planned to sell their house (in his name) because he bought it to be close to the kids.

Donald Trump: $950K/year
Celebrity's Most Expensive Child Support Payments, Donald Trump
The "Celebrity Apprentice" host is paying upwards of $1 million each year in support payments to two fortunate women. He pays $300K to ex, Marla Maples, for child support and another $650K to Ivana for child and spousal support. Those kids are old as hell now! That's an expensive love life, Donald, not to mention the amount of money it costs to keep that hair in shape.

Eddie Murphy: $60K/month
Celebrity's Most Expensive Child Support Payments, Eddie Murphy
Eddie Murphy is amongst the list of famous men to father illegitimate kids, but he also pays a hefty reported $59K and change per month to former Spice Girl Mel B. to keep the kid out of his personal life.

Paul McCartney: $70K/year
Celebrity's Most Expensive Child Support Payments, Paul McCartney
That might not seem like a lot, but Sir McCartney already gave his former wife, Heather Mills, nearly $48 million in a divorce settlement, in addition to the annual child support for their 11-year-old daughter, Beatrice. That should help with Mills' reported yearly spending an average of $400K on private flights, $80K on fine wines and $250K on clothing.

Britney Spears: $20K/month
Celebrity's Most Expensive Child Support Payments, Britney Spears
In addition to $15K each month for spousal support to her loser ex Kevin Federline, Britney also pays $20K for child support. Either he has a really good lawyer or she's a real sh*tty mom. Maybe both. Got to support that fedora-wearing habit of his. That guy put on some weight when fedoras went out of style. Must've taken it pretty hard.

Russell Simmons: $40K/month
Celebrity's Most Expensive Child Support Payments, Russell Simmons
The Def Jam co-founder pays $20K each month for his two kids, along with a new car (value $60K or more) for each every three years. Good thing the music business is booming for record labels, Russell.

P. Diddy: $42K/month
Celebrity's Most Expensive Child Support Payments, P. Diddy
Sean Combs may be a questionable reality show star, but he's a damn good check writer, paying more than $40K each month for child support. He was paying former model Kim Porter $20K for his rights to (illegitimately father) their child, and then in 2005, his ex-girlfriend Misa Hylton-Brim received a bump from about $5K per month to $20K, most likely when she found out what Kim was getting. All this, plus the artist formerly known as Puff Daddy is covering tuition, insurance and all legal fees to his ex, Porter.

Nas: $25K/month
Celebrity's Most Expensive Child Support Payments, Nas
Rapper Nas has been paying child and spousal support after his divorce from ex-wife Kelis in the amount close to $50K. That was until Nas convinced the courts he wasn't making much money and they cut the required payments in half, now just $25K per month. Still a lot of dough.

50 Cent: $25K/month
Celebrity's Most Expensive Child Support Payments, 50 Cent
Rapper Curtis Jackson, better known as 50 Cent, is paying a hell of a lot more than that to his ex-girlfriend with whom he had a baby, now a teen son, Marquise. With that kind of child support, you're less likely to see him in the club, and the only bottle full of "bub" is likely the one in the bathtub with its respective rubber duckies.

Mel Gibson: $20K/month
Celebrity's Most Expensive Child Support Payments, Mel Gibson
The "Braveheart" actor currently pays $20K each month to his ex, Oksana Grigorieva. Gibson has recently been attempting to gain more custody, though, as she has pleaded with courts that she has debts close to half a million dollars after filing for bankruptcy four years ago.

 

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