13 Very Awesome Groomsmen Photos
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These Cats Really Love Boobs
And the obvious question to ask here is, Can you blame them?
The video above refers to them as "pervert cats," but we beg to differ. Cats are simply a species that knows what it wants, and kneading or resting on a pair of ample breasts is just that. We can relate.
We doubt all of these kitties are male, either: Here's Proof That Girls Like Touching Boobs As Much As Guys
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Russian Model Helga Lovekaty Remains a Sexy Mystery
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Lauren German is a Fiery Hot Actress
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Tegan Martin is Universally Hot
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Sexy Kate Compton is Incomparable
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Today's Funny Photos
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Picking Apart the 2015 Coachella Lineup: Is It Worth It?
Every year, the burning questions mount. How should I wear my hair? What changes do I need to make in my life? Should I get tested? Is Coachella worth the trip? Well, Mandatory can help you with the last one, as the 2015 Coachella lineup has been out long enough for us to pick it apart and break down the simple pros and cons of another staple music experience. Use them to answer the most important question of the bunch: Is Coachella worth it?
Pro: Rocking Aussie Band All the Girls (And Some Guys) Want to Bone [Tame Impala]
Tame Impala is back after a brief hiatus from their 2012 "Lonerism" album, and word on the music highway is that they've got new music brewing for one of 2015's anticipated albums. These guys will offer one of the last remaining psychedelic rock experiences of the festival with more of the electronic music taking over.
Con: Aussie Rock Band Too Old to Get It Up, Let Alone Play More Than Eight Songs [AC/DC]
Apparently seniority is taking the reigns this year, as some of the better smaller bands are getting pushed to smaller fonts because someone had the foresight to call up AC/DC, or what might be referred to as the morning breath following the afterglow. With one member out due to serious illness and another in trouble with murder and meth, lead singer Brian Johnson says the show will go on, but for how many minutes before one of them has a stroke? Drummer Phil Rudd claims, "We'll all have to be dead before it stops." Sounds about right, Phil. Oh, and don't forget Steely Dan. Viagra will be the new ecstasy this year!
Pro: Underrated Best Band of the Festival [The War on Drugs]
You'd be best off going to see The War on Drugs -- sans Kurt Vile -- who had arguably one of the best records of 2014. With an energetic, groovy twist on a young Bob Dylan, the boys continue in support of their impressive offering of last year's "Lost in the Dream."
Con: Overhyped Jackass With A Microphone [Drake]
Everyone will want to see Drake, but just pray he's not going on at the same time as Ryan Adams, Fitz & The Tantrums or Brand New. If fact, you'll likely miss out on something better if you see Drake, who is expected to make weird faces while vomiting into a microphone, when you could be watching anyone else, anyone at all. Standing in a four hundred deep line to the porta-potties would be a better life experience.
Pro: Renowned Guitarist Too Pale for the California Sun [Jack White]
The Coachella sun is not for everyone, especially the pasty skin of the ghostly Jack White, but more importantly, Canadians (see below). Expect Jack White to take over at night with his vintage amps, electric sneeze and new music from his latest "Lazaretto," but don't be surprised if he busts out some White Stripes music therein. You should be so lucky.
Con: Canadian Who Won't Be Invited Back [The Weeknd]
And don't be surprised when you hear new music from across-the-border faces like The Weeknd, a young Abel Tesfaye trying to bring some R&B to the "Chella-shere." I just made that up, and it's awesome. Abel has music in the new "Fifty Shades of Grey," a big movie for the ladies this year, along with expected new music since his 2013 "Kiss Land."
Pro: Songwriters Too Good for This Many People at Once [Ryan Adams, Father John Misty]
Don't let Jenny Lewis and the pretty ladies take you away from seeing great rock acts though, like Mandy Moore's man Ryan Adams or Josh Tillman's Father John Misty. Adams will dish out some electric rock from possibly one of his best solo albums, and Tillman is back with one of the most anticipated albums of 2015, his follow-up record to 2012's "Fear Fun," called "I Love You, Honeybear," which will offer more than your everyday singer-songwriter, especially live.
Con: Beautiful Girl With Too Soft of a Voice for 2 Million Screaming Idiots [Jenny Lewis]
Last year was a lesson to the band bookers when Lana del Rey and Lorde brought their pretty faces and tiny voices to the big stage. They stilled booked some killer lady acts like Jenny Lewis, who opened for Ryan Adams last year. She's still in support of her latest record from last year, "The Voyager," a colorful bit of music most people would enjoy. And Florence + The Machine falls somewhere in the middle of these two acts, so this is a win/win really.
Pro: One Man Transcending All the Drug Use Instrumentally [Tycho, Flying Lotus]
There is a fine line between good and bad electronic and DJ'ed music. Most of it is just noise, but performances from artists like Tycho and Flying Lotus are something to write your prison pen-pal about. Check out songs from Tycho ("Awake") and Flying Lotus now. These guys bring a respectable new flavor to the festival music landscape.
Con: BEATS, BEATS, BEATS! [Alesso, Kaskade, Ghostface Killah]
As for the rest, judge for yourself. Alesso, Kaskade and Ghostface Killah are continuation of Coachella's attempt to adapt to the new music culture, moving in more dance party fun and moving rock 'n' roll to the back of the party bus. Each act had a new album they can still support from last year (Ghostface Killah - "36 Seasons, Kaskade - "I Remember," Alesso - "Heroes"), but just to be safe, bring ear plugs and sharpened pencils.
Pro: British Band Making Fun of America Before Performing, Maybe During [alt-J, Kasabian]
Two of the best bands to see in a live forum at this year's festival will easily be alt-J with their new music and a rare visit from Kasabian, essentially an upbeat Oasis on cocaine, err more cocaine. Not that they'll be high on drugs, but more in the sense that they'll bring a fresh, intoxicating breath to a very diverse festival that will leave you craving more until you're flat out offering sexual favors. Plus they'll probably do some drugs before going on. In addition to alt-J's new "This Is All Yours," Kasabian will boast their latest effort, "48:13," a quietly released experimental album that barely hits the states last year.
Con: Resurgent Punk Band Everyone Assumed Was Dead [Bad Religion]
Although we bag on old dudes trying to book it, Bad Religion will likely put on one hell of a show. The LA-based punk band hasn't put down their axes yet, and from the looks of the lineup, there is a good chance this is where the most banging will go on during the festival's entirety. The band is still putting out consistent music, so don't be baffled if these old fogies show you a thing or two about a good time.
The Verdict:
There's more than enough good music to go around at this year's festival, although they're not getting the spotlight this time around. The cons aren't nearly as bad as they could be, as we'll take Drake over Kanye, AC/DC over KISS and The Weeknd over having to hear Vampire Weekend play "A-Punk" again. Is it worth traveling hours into the desert and spending close to a grand for lodging and tickets while sweating your balls off into dehydration from all the drugs and lack of clean water? You bet your ass it is. It's Coachella! Get your tickets, available now.
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Famous Lesbians Who Have Been Married to Men
You know what they say: behind every great man is a great woman ... and behind her there may have been another woman at some point. For many famous lesbians, there was once a marriage to a man before they came out publicly. Here are ten notable examples, along with the men who didn't see it coming.
Portia De Rossi (Mel Metcalfe)
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The "Arrested Development" star was married to the very famous sound engineer Mel Metcalfe from 1996 to 1999. She came out as gay in 2005 and then started playing house with spunky television host, Ellen DeGeneres, her current partner since 2008.
Lauren Morelli (Steve Basilone)
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"Orange Is the New Black" writer Lauren Morelli realized she was gay while penning the overtly sexual girl-on-girl Netflix original in 2012, leading to an amicable divorce from her then husband in 2014. Upon announcing her switching of teams, Morelli also announced her relationship with Samira Wiley, star of "Orange Is the New Black." What a coincidence!
Billie Jean King (Larry King)
![billy jean king, famous women married to men before being lesbian]()
Famous tennis player Billie Jean King was married to Larry King for 20 years before coming out publicly in 1981 after having a long affair with her secretary. However cliche, she was the first female athlete to come out publicly.
Frida Kahlo (Diego Rivera)
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The artist married in 1929, divorced and remarried painter Diego Rivera while having a series of extramarital affairs with women. Seems Kahlo was a bit of a free spirit until her death in 1954.
Anne Heche (Coleman Laffoon)
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Before her marriage to cameraman Coleman Laffoon, the "Psycho" actress was in a well-known, long term lesbian relationship with Ellen DeGeneres from 1997 until 2000. However, all of her other relationships have been with men. Heche had a child with Laffoon before their divorce in 2007 and now has another child in her current relationship with James Tupper.
Julie Cypher (Lou Diamond Phillips)
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Cypher was Assistant Director on the movie "The Film Power," which starred Lou Diamond Phillips, whom she was married to from 1986 until 1990. She was then in a relationship with Melissa Etheridge in the '90s until 2000. She's currently married to a man named Matthew Hale, but she gave birth to two children with Etheridge, all thanks to David Crosby. How many women can say that? Possibly a lot.
Wanda Sykes (Dave Hall)
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The comedian/actress was married in 1991 to record producer Dave Hall, which ended in divorce in 1998, although Sykes didn't come out publicly as a lesbian until 2008. One year later, she married her partner, Alex, who is a total bombshell. Good for you, Wanda.
Meredith Baxter (multiple)![meredith baxter, famous women married to men before being lesbian]()
One of our favorite fictitious mothers was Mrs. Keaton on "Family Ties," but Meredith Baxter wasn't always so traditional after having four marriages since 1966, the first three of which were with three different men. In 1972, she starred in TV series "Bridget Loves Bernie" across from her ex-husband David Birney, which was canceled in 1973. She had children with her first two husbands before coming out in 2009, then married her live-in partner Nancy Locke in 2013.
Alice Walker (Melvyn Roseman Leventhal)
![alice walker, famous women married to men before being lesbian]()
Author of "The Color Purple," Alice Walker was married to Melvyn Rosenman Leventhal from 1967 until 1976. Later in the '90s, she had a relationship with R&B artist Tracy Chapman. She has one daughter with Leventhal.
Angelina Jolie (Jenny Shimizu)
![angelina jolie, famous women married to men before being lesbian]()
OK, this one's a little backwards, but before she was ever Mrs. Billy Bob Thorton or Mrs. Pitt, Angelina was publicly in a relationship with actress Jenny Shimizu in the late '90s. This was just before her wet and wild "Gone in 60 Seconds" days. You know, the days we try to forget.
Portia De Rossi (Mel Metcalfe)
The "Arrested Development" star was married to the very famous sound engineer Mel Metcalfe from 1996 to 1999. She came out as gay in 2005 and then started playing house with spunky television host, Ellen DeGeneres, her current partner since 2008.
Lauren Morelli (Steve Basilone)
"Orange Is the New Black" writer Lauren Morelli realized she was gay while penning the overtly sexual girl-on-girl Netflix original in 2012, leading to an amicable divorce from her then husband in 2014. Upon announcing her switching of teams, Morelli also announced her relationship with Samira Wiley, star of "Orange Is the New Black." What a coincidence!
Billie Jean King (Larry King)
Famous tennis player Billie Jean King was married to Larry King for 20 years before coming out publicly in 1981 after having a long affair with her secretary. However cliche, she was the first female athlete to come out publicly.
Frida Kahlo (Diego Rivera)
The artist married in 1929, divorced and remarried painter Diego Rivera while having a series of extramarital affairs with women. Seems Kahlo was a bit of a free spirit until her death in 1954.
Anne Heche (Coleman Laffoon)
Before her marriage to cameraman Coleman Laffoon, the "Psycho" actress was in a well-known, long term lesbian relationship with Ellen DeGeneres from 1997 until 2000. However, all of her other relationships have been with men. Heche had a child with Laffoon before their divorce in 2007 and now has another child in her current relationship with James Tupper.
Julie Cypher (Lou Diamond Phillips)
Cypher was Assistant Director on the movie "The Film Power," which starred Lou Diamond Phillips, whom she was married to from 1986 until 1990. She was then in a relationship with Melissa Etheridge in the '90s until 2000. She's currently married to a man named Matthew Hale, but she gave birth to two children with Etheridge, all thanks to David Crosby. How many women can say that? Possibly a lot.
Wanda Sykes (Dave Hall)
The comedian/actress was married in 1991 to record producer Dave Hall, which ended in divorce in 1998, although Sykes didn't come out publicly as a lesbian until 2008. One year later, she married her partner, Alex, who is a total bombshell. Good for you, Wanda.
Meredith Baxter (multiple)
One of our favorite fictitious mothers was Mrs. Keaton on "Family Ties," but Meredith Baxter wasn't always so traditional after having four marriages since 1966, the first three of which were with three different men. In 1972, she starred in TV series "Bridget Loves Bernie" across from her ex-husband David Birney, which was canceled in 1973. She had children with her first two husbands before coming out in 2009, then married her live-in partner Nancy Locke in 2013.
Alice Walker (Melvyn Roseman Leventhal)
Author of "The Color Purple," Alice Walker was married to Melvyn Rosenman Leventhal from 1967 until 1976. Later in the '90s, she had a relationship with R&B artist Tracy Chapman. She has one daughter with Leventhal.
Angelina Jolie (Jenny Shimizu)
OK, this one's a little backwards, but before she was ever Mrs. Billy Bob Thorton or Mrs. Pitt, Angelina was publicly in a relationship with actress Jenny Shimizu in the late '90s. This was just before her wet and wild "Gone in 60 Seconds" days. You know, the days we try to forget.
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19 Photos That Prove Resourcefulness is a Virtue
You are all faced with new or difficult situations on a daily basis, and how you handle those situations and find solutions to problems defines you. Are you someone who cowers in fear and hopes that someone else will handle things? Do you hit the panic button and make the situation worse? Or, like the folks below, do you stay cool and utilize the resources around you to take care of business? These 19 photos prove that resourcefulness is a virtue we should all strive to attain.
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10 of the Creepiest Unexplained Photos of All Time
A picture is worth a thousand words, they say, but sometimes you can replace words with "howls of pure animal terror." In this feature, we'll spotlight ten unsettling photographs that have baffled investigators for years.
The Mary Reeser Death Scene![]()
The Mary Reeser Death Scene
Murder scene photos typically help investigators put together the pieces surrounding a death, but what St. Petersburg, Florida cops snapped in 1951 has baffled us for over half a century. The death scene of Mary Reeser was a grim and bizarre one - the woman's entire body had been engulfed by flame in her armchair, consuming everything but her left foot, which was intact. The intense heat had actually shrunken her skull, but bizarrely nothing else in the room was touched. The pictures baffle forensic investigators to this day. (Photo courtesy of: Blogspot)
The Bound Children
Not all of the photos in this piece are super old. This disquieting image was discovered in June of 1989 in a parking lot in Port Calico, Florida. The shot, which pictures a panicked-looking boy and girl bound and gagged with duct tape, is believed to portray Tara Calico, who was kidnapped from her New Mexico home the year before, although the evidence is inconclusive. The FBI allegedly has two other photographs of Calico taken after her abduction, but they have never been released to the public and her body was never found. (Photo courtesy of: Imgur)
The Newby Church Ghost
Most ghost pictures can be pretty easily explained away as the result of double exposures or other trickery. But this chilling shot snapped by the Reverend K.F. Lord in the interior of North Yorkshire's Newby Church has thus far defied any Earthly explanations, despite being examined by multiple experts. The shot shows a spectral figure wearing a cowl and standing by the altar, but Lord swears there were no people in the church when he took the shot in 1963. It's one of the most famous paranormal photographs of all time. (Photo courtesy of: Brinkster)
The Lady Of Zeitoun
One of the most famous religious apparitions of all time, Our Lady of Zeitoun was observed over a staggering two-year period starting in 1968. First spotted by a Muslim bus mechanic, the glowing form of the Virgin Mary was mistaken for a woman preparing to jump from the roof of the Church of St. Mary. Police investigated and found nobody on the roof, but from that point forward the glowing ghost of Jesus's mother appeared multiple times a week, being photographed many times without any real explanation as to the cause of the phenomenon. (Photo courtesy of: Yourdivineinspirations)
The Giant Mummified Finger
Nearly all human civilizations have legends of giants, men standing many feet taller than the average with titanic strength. But no fossil evidence has ever been found of one - unless you count the disturbing photographs taken by a man named Gregor Sporri in 1985. On a trip to Egypt, Sporri met an old grave robber who was in possession of a mummified finger measuring 15 inches long - one that would have had to come from a man at least 12 feet tall. Nobody's ever been able to explain or debunk the pictures he took. (Photo courtesy of: Stranger Dimensions)
The Falcon Lake Burns
Images of UFO activity are usually explained away by dust on the lens or otherwise messed-up films, but the bizarre burns in this picture of Stephen Michalak can't be dismissed so easily. While searching for minerals on the shore of Falcon Lake, Michalak was shocked by a pair of flying objects, not to mention the odd humanoid figures that exited from them. When the mysterious craft took off, he was sprayed with super-hot gas through an exhaust grate, which left a grid-like pattern of burns on his chest that have still not been adequately explained. (Photo courtesy of: Unsolvedmysteries Wiki)
The Hinterkaifeck Murder Scene
This photo is certainly unsettling, but it's the backstory behind it that puts it into full-on creepy territory. In April of 1922, the residents of the Bavarian region of Groebern realized they hadn't seen the family of Hinterkaifeck Farm for some time. A party went out and discovered all five family members and a maid brutally butchered and laid to rest in the barn covered in straw. Bizarrely, few valuables had been taken, with jewelry and gold left out in plain sight, and the animals had been fed recently even though the family had been dead for a week. Police interviewed over 100 people but never even found a suspect, and the case is still a mystery. (Photo courtesy of: Hinterkaifeck)
The Naga Fireballs
Most atmospheric phenomena are easily attributed to swamp gas or other natural phenomenon, but this photo of the Naga lights over the Mekong River in Vietnam has baffled scientists for decades. The red-hot fireballs jet out of the water and ascend hundreds of feet into the air before disappearing, and can be seen in the hundreds some night. What's bizarre about these is that they rise so high - typically these phenomena are fixed at ground level. There are plenty of local superstitions as to what causes them but no definitive explanation. (Photo courtesy of: Imgur)
The Ghostly Hand
Most ghost images look pretty fake to the modern eye, but this shot by Montague Cooper is pretty disquieting. Taken in the early 20th century at the request of a furniture dealer who bought the impressive bureau for a song, when the film was developed the spectral image of a hand became visible reaching out from one of the drawers. Photo analysts have worked over the image and been unable to find any signs of tampering or double exposures, which is pretty unsettling. (Photo courtesy of: Montague Cooper)
The Lead Mask Death Scene
Let's close with another mysterious crime scene that features the victims in a very unusual state. On the evening of August 20,1966, the bodies of two men were discovered in the foothills around Rio de Janeiro. When police came to investigate, a few things stood out. One, the men had absolutely no signs of any physical trauma. And two, they were both wearing thick lead masks over their eyes. The discovery of a cryptic notebook didn't help matters much, nor did the multiple UFO sightings in the area. The cause of their deaths is still unknown half a century later. (Photo courtesy of: Quazoo)
See Also: Ghost Photos That Will Keep You Up All Night
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This Airplane Security Logic Will Leave You Scratching Your Head
Don't get us wrong. We appreciate all of the security procedures that keep us safe when we fly. That being said, there are just some things about airport security that don't really make that much sense. Here are a few just for starters.
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Monkey Around With the Stunning Amanda Schull
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This Week's 20 Very Funny Tweets
Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them yourself. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
You ever had sex while listening to Drake? I ended up putting on her clothes and helped her get back with her ex
- yung simba (@ThotsOfAWiseMan) November 10, 2014
You've dropped the last 3 iPhones you owned in the toilet while you were drunk but yeah, congrats on the pregnancy.
- Bill Dixon (@BillDixonish) January 9, 2015
Maybe Liam Neeson's special set of skills is losing his family.
- Stacey Lynne (@NervousJr) January 9, 2015
Remake Back To The Future 2 where there are no flying cars but people stare at their phones all the time + get offended at everything. #2015
- Trevor Moore (@itrevormoore) January 1, 2015
Everyone is eating once i clock the digits fam 😭👊 pic.twitter.com/zc0mCaAkuE
- FunnyPicsDepot (@FunnyPicsDepot) December 27, 2014
I'm not sure Disney fully understands what a pirate is pic.twitter.com/u8UayKuT63
- bella (@slytherinbella) September 6, 2014
"What's your greatest strength?" Definitely magic. "Sir, this is a law firm..." IS THIS YOUR CARD? [holds up 4 of Clubs] "Actually yes."
- Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) January 8, 2015
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already. WebMD: TYPHOID FEVER
- Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) January 6, 2015
I rarely get nostalgic about my ex, but we just exchanged threats of legal action against each other, and that is so us!
- eve (@hello_saylor) December 31, 2014
Folks are worried about global warming and social security, when the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.
- Kali (@AdderallMomma) September 10, 2014
If you were stranded on a deserted island and could only have one book, how many times would you try to fuck it before you killed yourself?
- Paige (@PeachCoffin) January 5, 2015
My current hunger level is "sexually attracted to spaghetti"
- Krista Doyle (@Krista_Doyle) January 8, 2015
Beyoncé fans support anything she do. She could throw Blue Ivy in the ocean & kill her & they be "YASSSS, B* Throw that lil bitch*
- HollyWoodKurt (@Mypasonna) August 8, 2013
Have a crush on somebody? Play hard to get. Marry someone else. Grow old with someone else. Then when you're 90, text your crush "heyyyy ;)"
- Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) December 22, 2014
Hearing a coyote pack shrieking at 1:37 AM is less unsettling if you imagine they're all tossing graduation caps in the air.
- Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) January 6, 2015
You're making a powerful enemy, people who offer me celery as a snack.
- Jason Miller (@longwall26) January 9, 2015
I have gotten outta bed 365 days a year for 37 years. That is 13,505 sit-ups. And not ONE ab to show for it.
- Corey Paterson (@Midgetspar) January 1, 2015
*a teeny tiny tumbleweed rolls across my ring finger*
- Jackie Carbajal (@jackiecarbajal) January 6, 2015
Why is it called a bathroom towel and not a john linen?
- Terry F (@daemonic3) January 9, 2015
[knocking at the door] VOICE OUTSIDE: Open up this is the fashion police! ME: [furiously flushing bandanas down the toilet] JUST A SECOND
- Joe West (@joejwest) January 7, 2015
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Holly Eriksson Has Double D's to Please
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Sexy Danish Model Mathilde Goehler Does It Right
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Florida Couple Busted Having Sex on Used Car Lot
Inexpensive used automobiles with under 100,000 miles on them can be titillating, but this is ridiculous.
According to the Sun Sentinel, a Florida couple was arrested early Monday morning after they allegedly got buck naked and humped each other on top of a 2004 Kia Sedona at Mike's Auto Sales in West Palm Beach.
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A male witness told police he heard moaning coming from the parking lot around 3 a.m. and was offended once he saw what 18-year-old Erin Byrd and 29-year-old Ramon Mitchell were doing.
When police arrived on the scene, they found Byrd and Mitchell sitting in the Kia van. Mitchell apparently wasn't a fan of their arrival and spat in one officer's face. Both he and his f-buddy were arrested and charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, trespassing and burglary.
Mitchell was also charged with assaulting an officer because of the spitting incident, and the officer was taken to a hospital and treated for "bio hazard exposure."
Let's be honest: If the officer was getting treated after just getting spit on my Mitchell, Byrd might want to think about seeking medical attention immediately.
It must be so damn hot having sex in places that aren't yours: Florida Couple Breaks Into House to Have Sex
According to the Sun Sentinel, a Florida couple was arrested early Monday morning after they allegedly got buck naked and humped each other on top of a 2004 Kia Sedona at Mike's Auto Sales in West Palm Beach.
A male witness told police he heard moaning coming from the parking lot around 3 a.m. and was offended once he saw what 18-year-old Erin Byrd and 29-year-old Ramon Mitchell were doing.
When police arrived on the scene, they found Byrd and Mitchell sitting in the Kia van. Mitchell apparently wasn't a fan of their arrival and spat in one officer's face. Both he and his f-buddy were arrested and charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, trespassing and burglary.
Mitchell was also charged with assaulting an officer because of the spitting incident, and the officer was taken to a hospital and treated for "bio hazard exposure."
Let's be honest: If the officer was getting treated after just getting spit on my Mitchell, Byrd might want to think about seeking medical attention immediately.
It must be so damn hot having sex in places that aren't yours: Florida Couple Breaks Into House to Have Sex
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Is This The Most Genius Way To Trick People Into Thinking You're Working Late?
Office life is no picnic, and if you want to get ahead or be promoted, you often have to put in long hours to show the bosses that you are dedicated to making a positive impact. Or, you can just trick them into believing that. Whichever works best.
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via tastefully offensive
via tastefully offensive
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A Helpful Guide to Making Empty Gestures
We all want to be well-liked and respected, to be considered a "good friend." We mostly want to be nice and compassionate. There comes a point, however, where we also don't want to be burdened with other people's problems. We don't want to appear uncaring or selfish, though. That's where an empty gesture comes in. An empty gesture is something you say or offer to a friend without actually meaning it. You want them to believe that you are there for them, but you have no intention of truly helping out. The art of the empty gesture takes many years to master, but I'm here to help get you started in the right direction. Below are eight common scenarios in which your friend is facing one of life's many difficulties, and the perfect empty gesture to make to avoid helping them -- while still looking like a saint.
1. Your friend is very sick.
Empty Gesture: "Oh man, that sucks. Let me know if I can run out and get you chicken soup or something."
Your friend knows you live 20 minutes away and would never actually ask you to go get him soup. Plus, he's sick as hell and the last thing he even wants right now is any damn soup. But, he now thinks you would do anything for him. What a friend!
2. Your friend needs a ride.
Empty Gesture: "Sure I can give you a lift; I just have a few things I need to do first so I might not be able to get you there on time. Is that cool?"
It's definitely not cool, but you still look good because you said you could give him a ride...you know...if he wasn't in a such a hurry (which he is because he's going to the airport). After he says never mind, offer to call him a cab instead.
3. Your friend is moving.
Empty Gesture: "I already have plans during your move time, but let me know if I can bring beers and pizza over to your new place later!"
You miss out on the shit part of moving day, and are a hero for the best part if your friend actually takes you up on that. It's a win-win.
4. Your friend is looking for a new job.
Empty Gesture: "Let me hit up my HR department and see if there are any openings for you at my company."
You are not going to go near your HR department, but your friend thinks it was nice of you to go out of your way for him. When he questions you about it in two weeks, just say you never heard anything back.
5. Your friend's pet died.
Empty Gesture: "I'm so sorry. Let me know if there's anything I can do."
Of course there is nothing you can do. It was a freaking pet. Your friend will most likely respond with, "Thank you, I'll be fine," but at the very worst he will just want to go out for a drink tonight...but oops, you are busy. So maybe next week?
6. Your friend needs a babysitter.
Empty Gesture: "Yeah, I'd be happy to babysit. I may have a date over for a bit while I'm watching lil' Timmy, but the more babysitters the merrier, right?"
The fact that you may be fornicating while you are supposed to be watching your friend's kid will horrify him, and he will politely never bring babysitting up to you again.
7. Your friend invites you to his show.
Empty Gesture: "Unfortunately, I am out of town that night. But definitely let me know when your next show is and I'll be there for sure."
This one is risky, and you hate to lie to your friend, but in this case he has left you no choice. Friends do not accept weak excuses for missing their shows, especially since they are relying on you to be 20 percent of the audience. But, by telling him you'll be out of town, he'll accept it and understand. And, your friend thinks it's super cool that you're interested in his future shows (but now you have to pray that there won't be any).
8. Your friend needs a place to stay.
Empty Gesture: "My place is a little messy, but I can clean it up real quick and you are more than welcome to crash on my futon for a few days."
You're such a nice guy, but nobody wants to sleep on a futon covered in Hot Pocket stains (and much grosser, blacklight-only stains). He'll find someplace else.
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British Man Labeled as Sex Offender After Having Sex With a Mailbox
Just because it's a good-looking mailbox doesn't mean you can have sex with it. Even in England.
According to Huffington Post, a 45-year-old Wigan man will be known as a sex offender for the rest of his life after pleading guilty to the attempted molestation of a corner mailbox in September.
![British Guy Has Sex With Mailbox]()
Witnesses and court officials said they saw Paul Bennett drop his drawers in a shopping center and "perform a sexual act on himself in public." He then walked over to a mailbox on the corner and "started to make sexual advances toward it."
But that wasn't the end of Bennett's romantic encounter with the metal box. He then "rubbed himself against it while holding his hands in the air," and when he "finished," he began swinging on a nearby lamppost. Police eventually caught up with him while he was playing with his goods in front of another store.
Bennett pleaded guilty to two counts of indecent exposure and was forced to undergo alcohol treatment. He was also ordered to pay $75 to a woman who witnessed the mailbox humping, who we assume has only used UPS after that emotionally disturbing day.
Some dude plowed a helicopter: The Weirdest Objects People Have Had Sex With
According to Huffington Post, a 45-year-old Wigan man will be known as a sex offender for the rest of his life after pleading guilty to the attempted molestation of a corner mailbox in September.
Witnesses and court officials said they saw Paul Bennett drop his drawers in a shopping center and "perform a sexual act on himself in public." He then walked over to a mailbox on the corner and "started to make sexual advances toward it."
But that wasn't the end of Bennett's romantic encounter with the metal box. He then "rubbed himself against it while holding his hands in the air," and when he "finished," he began swinging on a nearby lamppost. Police eventually caught up with him while he was playing with his goods in front of another store.
Bennett pleaded guilty to two counts of indecent exposure and was forced to undergo alcohol treatment. He was also ordered to pay $75 to a woman who witnessed the mailbox humping, who we assume has only used UPS after that emotionally disturbing day.
Some dude plowed a helicopter: The Weirdest Objects People Have Had Sex With
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