Meet the Filthy Rich Stars of YouTube

February 3, 2015, 12:50 am

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For all you hopeful bloggers or YouTube junkies trying to get noticed, there are a number of YouTube heroes who started as zeroes that can inspire. From actors and musicians to comedians and just plain weirdos, the Internet has plenty of YouTube stars raking in the cash and fame. Check out some incredible stories of YouTube's biggest earners and be inspired to be like millions of other people -- whoring yourself out online so you don't have to put on pants like every other hardworking American.

PewDiePie
Net Worth: $12 million

Last year, Forbes reported that Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg, Swedish vlogger, is now pulling in more than $4 million each year with his hit YouTube channel, Pewdiedie. Launched in 2009, he's had quite a few fans in his "Bro Army" since his channel took off in 2012, commentating on video games (action, adventure & horror) and to a crowd of more than 34 million people with billions of views. That'll teach kids to drop out of school when they can't juggle YouTube and their homework at once.

YOGSCAST Lewis & Simon (Formerly BlueXephos)
Net Worth: $6.7 million

Originally founded as "BlueXephos," English gamers Lewis and Simon at The Yogscast are rocking 7 million subscribers in the Minecraft multiplayer, drunken dwarf video blogs. Started in 2008, they started as BlueXephos doing World of Warcraft videos until hitting it big and changing their channel name under the Minecraft blueprint.

Smosh
Net Worth: $5.7 million

Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla are comedy duo owning the Inter-web under their channel "Smosh," a flash animation project started by Padilla. With videos like "Extreme Ass Slapping" and "Dick Jokes With Mom," it's no wonder why these boys are raking in the dough, along with nearly 20 million subscribers. Started in 2005, their page has more than 4 billion views with a new video each Friday, as well as bonus videos appearing on a secondary channel.

Ray William Johnson
Net Worth: $5 million

This time four years ago, Ray Williams Johnson held six of the top 20 most viewed YouTube videos, and now with more than 10 million subscribers, he's on a tear with his channel Equals Three. Johnson retired from hosting his own video blog in late 2014, though it continues to run with a new host. In late 2012, he retired his other main channel "Your Favorite Martian," which hosted animated music videos, but those videos still crossover onto his "Equals Three" page.

DisneyCollectorBR
Net Worth: $5 million

Last year, Buzzfeed covered the DC Toy Collector who is essentially a one-woman team pulling more than the average CEO. And what is it she does? She shows off toys in YouTube videos as collector's items. The channel has nearly 4 million subscribers, too. She's making it look too easy, especially when you factor in the $5 million. Covering a wide range of toys and a wide range of ages, this is the premiere toy channel for toy reviews, as well as a collector's guide for creepy old dudes with too much time and money. The competitive BluCollection channel comes in right behind with a slightly lower following but nearly the same net worth at $4.8 million. Don't throw your toys away, dammit. They're a gold mine.

Toby "Tobuscus" Turner
Net Worth: $4.2 million

As of early 2015, Turner has more than 15 million subscribers as comedian/actor/musician/YouTube personality who signed with Maker Studios in 2013. He's been cranking out comedy bits and other fun interactive clips people can't get enough of on his main channels "Tobuscus" and "TobyGames," which combine for more than 3 billion views. Big on chuckles and animation, as well as gaming and music, Toby is a Jack-of-all-trades when it comes to YouTube. He's got the numbers to show it.

Roman Atwood
Net Worth: $3.5 million

Professional American prankster Roman Atwood is making waves in online comedy, as well as in the playpen that is his living room. In one of Roman's best new pranks, he turns the house into a fast food chain style ball pit for his kids while the wife is away. Atwood has more than 5 million subscribers, but we're not sure that he deserves such an attractive and loving wife. Especially when he does stuff like this: Worst Husband in the World Pranks Wife By Pretending to Kill Their Kid

James Richard Wilson, Jr. (UberHaxorNova)
Net Worth: $3.5 million

At 24, this raving genius has more than 2 million people subscribing to listen to his simple animated clips and evil genius. Wilson began UberHaxorNova in 2008 and started a subsequent channel, NovaPipeBomb, with a decent following as well. He does the rundown for folks on games like Grand Theft Auto and Assassin's Creed.

Daneboe aka Annoying Orange
Net Worth: $3.4 million

Started by Dane Boedigheimer in 2009, the YouTube series "The Annoying Orange" began as a ridiculous idea conjured up while trying to fall asleep at night. The tactic of using an annoying food character to interact with other annoying food characters seems to have paid off, as Boedigheimer's channel not only blew up, pulling in a couple billion views, but the show was even picked up as a TV show on Cartoon Network. Who says ridiculous stoner dreams don't come true.

Jenna Marbles
Net Worth: $2.5 million

This blonde beauty Jenna N. Mourey, better known as Jenna Marbles online, is an American entertainer with a popular YouTube channel, a large following and killer bod. How do you like those marbles? She just released her 200th video since her start in 2010, and her subscribers are about to reach 15 million. The funny, playful Jenna is not only sexy, she's wicked helpful with her girly tutorials and funny think-pieces. From "Drunk Makeup Tutorial" to "What Girls Do in the Car," Jenna has everyone's attention, along with a nice wad of cash in her pocket. It's speculated that she pulls in nearly $4 million each year, but is listed at only $2.5 million net worth currently.

(Source: Celebrity Net Worth)

 

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Kim Kardashian Bare Butt Photo For LOVE Magazine Leaked

February 3, 2015, 1:08 am

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Kim Kardashian is at it again. Hopefully the Internet remains up and running.

Above is the pic with an inconvenient black bar in the way. Keep scrolling for the uncensored version that you really want to see. In the meantime, here are the details behind Kim K's latest photo shoot.

The leaked black-and-white photo of Kim comes from a LOVE magazine photo shoot that was edited by her model pal Cara Delevingne. The new photoshoot features Prada styling by Katie Brand and mocks Kardashian's relationship with the paparazzi. It's also intended to help Kim flaunt her post-baby body. (I'm pretty sure she's just about the only mom who has a photo album like this.)

Now, on to what you came here for. Here's the pic as it leaked on Twitter last night.



Good luck, Internet, you're going to need it.

H/t Daily Beast, Via @KKW

 

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A Boob-Shaped Venn Diagram About Boobs

February 3, 2015, 1:50 am

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It's a debate as old as time, or at least as old as the very first case of silicone breast implants. We all know that boobs are awesome, but which type of boobs are better? Real boobs or fake boobs? We've taken it upon ourselves to give you the pertinent data you need to answer this question with a handy Real Boobs vs. Fake Boobs Venn diagram. You make the call (hint: there is no wrong answer).

 

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These Girls Have Not Quite Mastered Photoshop Yet

February 3, 2015, 2:50 am

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We are well aware that there is an unjust pressure on women to look like models or famous actresses these days. And a large portion of our nation (men and women) wishes they were skinnier, stronger and just better looking overall. Because of this, some girls turn to the magic of Photoshop to alter their photos - adding curves to the sexy zones, taking away curves in the not-so-sexy spots - but there's one big problem: they don't know how to use it properly. That's how we end up with the Photoshop fails below.
















And yes, we know that plenty of guys do this, too:

 

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Jimmy Kimmel's 'Mean Tweets' Are Back For A Second Music Edition

February 3, 2015, 3:55 am

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Last night on "Jimmy Kimmel Live," a second round of celebrity musicians came in to read some of the foul, hurtful, yet hilarious tweets written about them. As always, there is no shortage of jokes about male genitalia and bodily functions, but a funny observation about Wiz Khalifa's appearance wins this round (and Wiz seemed to like it, too). Enjoy the meanness.

Want more? Check out this Mean Tweets video from the end of last year.

 

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The Top 10 One-Hit Wonders of the '90s

February 3, 2015, 4:52 am

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The growl of grunge in the '90s erased all evidence of early MTV dance hits, electronics and hairsprayed rock the '80s had to offer. On its way out, grunge and its cries of disassociation transitioned to teen pop, where the demands for love and desire came crooning out of fresh-faced artists too young to vote. And while the decade established musical acts who cemented its trajectory with their influence - many whom still enjoy success today - there were a wide array of groups who burned brightly but briefly. Some only managed to chart a song once, but don't let fleetingness fool you. Their contribution to the sound of the '90s was just as important as those who managed multiple hits. Here we celebrate the ten best one-hit wonders of the 20th century's final decade.

#10 "Nothing Compares 2 U" - Sinéad O'Connor (1990)

The song that makes all bald women cry, Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares 2 U" was written by Prince, though its title is spelled as if written by a pauper. Slow, sad and sweeping, this 1990 cover has all the brooding of the '80s, but with a maturing turn of the decade sound. O'Connor never topped this one, and her antics didn't help, which included tearing a picture of the pope in half on "Saturday Night Live." Had it been Donald Trump's she might have just been a serial hit producer.

#9 "Baby Got Back" - Sir Mix-A-Lot (1992)

If America didn't know that black men liked big-butted black women, that all changed in 1992. As the story goes, Sir-Mix-A-Lot was frustrated with all the skinny white bitches traipsing about Super Bowl ads, and "Baby Got Back" was his retort. Usually the rap songs that had come before celebrated bullets, bucks and booze. So this frisky beat was a breath of fresh air. Which is uncommon for anything that has to do with someone's keister.

#8 "Jump Around" - House of Pain (1992)

If we ever needed a song to jump around to it doesn't get much better than "Jump Around." It's squealing, dramatic intro signals something big to follow and what follows is just that. This is Hip Hop at its tipsy Irish best, with "Public Enemy-like" authority sung by a scrappy white Celtics fan. Everlast was his name, and while he had his own solo one-hit-wonder, this House of Pain collaboration has been getting people up on their feet since 1992.

#7 "Cannonball" - The Breeders (1993)

A tug of war between bass and guitar topped off with some screechy feedback, "Cannonball" was the ladies' answer to grunge, with some surf rock and reggae thrown in. The vocals are placid and spoken and then spark into an explosive chorus. The Breeders were a supergroup born out of female empowerment - women who had been stuck behind frontmen but now finally had a vehicle of their own to step up and take the lead. Their sound was both soft and edgy and a true complement to the new beat of the '90s. The Breeders had a fan in Kurt Cobain, who championed them until his own untimely death.

#6 "Steal My Sunshine" - Len (1999)

Is this a '90s song? It's hard to tell because the sound is so timeless. But yes, right on the edge at 1999. It's also a party, not the brew-fueled ones coming before and after on this list, but something sleeker and sexier, and just damn happy. The alternating male/female vocals are a deliberate nod to Human League's "Don't You Want Me," but there's all sorts of genres mingled about here, resulting in one very memorable tune. Also immortalized in the sleek, sexy, damn happy film "Go's" soundtrack, the name Len may not be right on anyone's lips, but the infectious melody and so-silly lyrics certainly are.

#5 "No Rain" - Blind Melon (1993)

The song is a triumph, with simple lyrics that don't succeed in masking the heart of a troubled soul. Here inertia and depression are distilled into a burst of bright, lifting music. This is dark grunge sung with a smile full of sunshine, a contradiction that only adds to the impact of the song. If you didn't know his name, "No Rain" made loyal fans of Blind Melon's Shannon Hoon's glorious, unsettled voice. There may have been more hits in store for the band had Hoon not overdosed at the tender age of 28.

#4 "You Get What You Give" - New Radicals (1999)

There's passion and soul here, an epic song really, not some novelty or cast off. A desire for celebrity and all the phoniness that it brings is its subject, but singer/songwriter Gregg Alexander manages to uplift this cynical message with uncommon brightness and beauty. You don't just want to sing along to the lyrics, you want to belt them out until the neighbors call the cops. And what is significant about this song, to trivia hounds and all of us perhaps, is that it is believed to be the first time the word "frenemies" was released into mainstream popular culture.

#3 "Flagpole Sitta" - Harvey Danger (1998)

Green Day may have cornered the market on '90s songs about madness and masturbation, but major props must be given to Harvey Danger's "Flagpole Sitta," a song title that should probably be blurred or bleeped. Intense, volatile fun, this tune puts '80s angst to shame with its wickedly wry wordplay and driving musical mania. And though we would have happily followed Harvey into whatever Danger he got us into next, no such hits arose, leaving us only to play with ourselves.

#2 "Groove is in the Heart" - Deee-Lite (1990)

No offense to John Travolta, but this is why God created dance floors. Part funk, part hip-hop, with a chill rap towards the end, "Groove is in the Heart" took a '70s sensibility and flipped it with a '90s spin. Its psychedelic beat and frenzied frolic could have ushered in a new retro sound revolution to define the decade, but the weight of grunge's flannel was way too heavy. Without actually going pop, this groove is poppin', shaking up the scene while somehow keeping its platform boots firmly stuck to the ground.

#1 "Tubthumping" - Chumbawamba (1997)

Narratively speaking, the song is not very deep or complex. Basically, there are three separate sections repeated over and over and over again. But somehow "Tubthumping" is the most satisfying '90s one-hit wonder there is. Getting drunk was one of that decade's greatest pastimes, and this UK import is that activity's anthem. Imagine if you will, a bar full of revelers, singing this gem for the world to hear. Now imagine every bar on every corner of the globe doing the same, all in unison. This may be the very answer to world peace. Fun fact: the title has nothing to do with "Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas." We checked.

 

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Watch This Motorcyclist Land on His Feet After Getting Hit by a Car

February 3, 2015, 5:19 am

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If you thought Jermaine Kearse catching a 33-yard pass from Russell Wilson in the final minutes of Super Bowl 49 despite the fact that it pinballed off of every limb while he was lying on his back was lucky, wait until you see this.

According to UPI, Taylor Smith was rolling through the streets of San Francisco last week on his 2011 Triumph Daytona 675 motorcycle when he got smoked by a Volkwagen that ran a red light. Somehow, Smith managed to land on his feet and avoided any serious injuries.

Luckily for us, Smith had his helmet cam rolling during the accident.


You might have missed it (turn your volume up), but the driver of the Volkswagen actually had the nerve to tell Smith to "pull over" after the crash, to which Smith replied like most sane people would with, "What do you mean, 'Pull over?' My bike's already f**king over, asshole."

Smith said he left the scene with only "bumps and bruises" thanks to his safety gear, and thanks to that helmet cam, it looks as though he's going to make out with a boatload of cash as well.

Thinking about taking a motorcycle trip to Guatemala? Think again: Helmet Cam Captures Canadian Couple Being Robbed at Gun Point in Guatemala

 

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Stacey Poole and Joey Fisher: Two Pairs of Slow-Mo Bouncing Boobs

February 3, 2015, 5:45 am

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Stacey Poole and Joey Fisher are showing us the unthinkable: two pairs of slow motion bouncing boobs. One pair was enough, or so we thought, but now Zoo is pushing the limits into dangerous territory with four - count them! - four beautiful large breasts bouncing in slow motion. Don't even try to watch this at work and not make a scene, boys. That would be like staring at the sun with a magnifying glass (while being very aroused). Now if only we could get them to kiss a little.

 

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Did Paris Hilton Get A Boob Job?

February 3, 2015, 5:54 am

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Hey, remember Paris Hilton? She's one of the originators of being famous simply for being ridiculously rich. Oh, and for starring in a leaked sex tape, which eventually led to deals to make her even more rich. Now she DJs and makes millions a year doing so while I write for peanuts about her Instagram photos.

Anyway, you're not here to hear my jealous rant about how much money she has. You came to see the goods. Recently, she's been posting photos of herself (I know, so unlike her, right?) with a much fuller chest to her Instagram account.


She definitely didn't have those before, right? In case you can't remember -- or don't recognize who she is without night vision -- here is an old pic of her.


So, we think it's pretty safe to assume that the answer to the question in our headline is yes. Anything to take some of the focus off that stupid flower headband, right?

 

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Did This Chilean Woman Get Shoved to the Ground by a Ghost?

February 3, 2015, 6:30 am

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If you thought most lawyers were pricks, wait until you see how ghosts hanging out in their offices treat people.

According to the Daily Mail, a 34-year-old Chilean woman said she was recently shoved to the ground by a ghost as she walked past the reception desk of a lawyer's office in Santiago, and there is surveillance footage that could legitimize her claim.


You have to admit, the sign language interpreter in the bottom right corner does a hell of job making the video even more terrifying than it already was.

Cecilia Carrasco said after she hit the floor, she looked up to see who had pushed her to the ground because she felt two hands shove her over. The receptionist told her nobody was there, but Carrasco said she didn't believe her until she saw footage of the incident.

Carrasco said she has no idea why she was shoved to the floor, but thinks the ghost might be after her because she saw something similar happen in a film to another woman. We think somebody should tell her that "Ghost" was a fictional story.

It looks like 2015 might be the year of the ghost: Is This The Ghost of a Person Killed at Pocatello High School Roaming Its Halls?

 

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South African Woman Destroys Man's Penis With Acid for Secretly Recording Them Having Sex

February 3, 2015, 6:48 am

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If this guy could go back in time and change one thing about his life, we're pretty sure we know what it would be.

According to Uproxx, a 25-year-old South African man will have to piss out of a tube for the rest of his life after his 17-year-old girlfriend (presumably ex now) threw acid on his penis when she found out he had secretly recorded them bumping uglies and the video made its way onto social media.


Humphrey Khoza said he was enjoying some brews at a local tavern when the girl walked in and "angrily called him a dog." But that was far from the worst punishment Khoza would receive from the teenager, as she opened a bottle of acid and threw it on his boom stick, taking away any boom it had left in the process.

Khoza said he won't press charges against the girl because he doesn't want to ruin her life by sending her to jail and doing so wouldn't "bring back his manhood."

Our suggestion is that Khoza dedicates the rest of his life trying to create the flux capacitor.

Hey, at least she only threw acid on his crotch once: Chinese Woman Cuts Off Cheating Husband's Penis...Twice

 

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Kids Reenact the 2015 Best Picture Nominees

February 3, 2015, 10:14 am

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If you haven't seen all eight films that are up for Best Picture this year yet, the "Kid Oscars" are here to do you a solid. Instead of spending way too much time seeking out these movies in theaters, you can just watch way more entertaining scenes from "American Sniper," "Selma," "Birdman" and the others reenacted by hilarious and adorable kids. This should be more than enough for you to make an educated decision on who will be winning the Oscar this year.

Also check out: The 2014 Kid Emmys

 

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Today's Funny Photos

February 3, 2015, 11:48 pm

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Students Are Really Pissed At Michelle Obama For Ruining School Lunches

February 3, 2015, 11:55 pm

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Look, we know we're all fat. We know all of our kids are fat. But the meal regulations that have made their way to school lunches thanks to the first lady's signature program are pissing off hungry kids everywhere. And they've taken to Twitter to complain about it. After you look through these photos, go make yourself a sloppy joe and be thankful that you're no longer in school.

 

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Sexually Oblivious Female is Your Immature Meme of the Day

February 4, 2015, 12:40 am

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We're not going to pretend that this isn't crude and immature, but that's the best kind of humor sometimes, right? Inspired by a Funny or Die skit a few years ago, the Sexually Oblivious Female responds to all of your sexual requests -- just not the way you want her to.

 

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10 Astounding Stories of Dumb Luck

February 4, 2015, 12:50 am

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Life is a trip. These 10 tall tales will make you infinitely gracious for your trials and travails, for it could always be worse. We'll start with the good and then get to the ugly.

"GOOD" Dumb Luck


Metal Rod Strikes Construction Worker's Skull, Feels No Pain ... Like a Boss

Eduardo Leite was working at a Rio de Janeiro construction site in August 2012 when he felt something strike his brain. He reached up and felt a six-foot iron rod sticking out of his face. It had fallen from five stories and punctured his skull.

The 24-year-old Brazilian was fully conscious when he went to the hospital. "He was holding it and his face was covered in blood. His look was as if nothing had happened. When he arrived he told the doctors he wasn't feeling anything, no pain, nothing," his wife said. After a five-hour surgery and a dose of baby Aspirin, Leite was all right.

He would've lost an eye or become paralyzed if it had entered an inch or two in either direction. It hit a "non-eloquent area" of the brain, a place that serves no major function. Let's hope Mr. Leite doesn't become an asshole like Phineas Gage.

Adopted Son Finds Birth Mother He Already Knew

A story that will give even sternest red-blooded American hard-ass the feels, a 22-year-old man discovered his lost birth mother was his coworker.

Steve Flaig worked as a delivery driver at Lowe's in Grand Rapids, Mich. Since he was 18, he was on a quest to find his mom. He went to the agency that handled his adoption and got a name, but for years he had no luck because he was spelling it wrong. The agency gave him the correct spelling and within days, his life would irreversibly change.

His mother, Christine Tallady, worked as a cashier.

"Passing each other, it was just, 'Hey,'" Tallady said. At the time Steve didn't know how to handle it so the agency phoned Tallady to let her know. They met at a restaurant the very next day. "He got out of his seat, and we just hugged and hugged and hugged and cried and cried."

Steve's roommate told "Today" that he was completely different afterwards. "He's infinitely happier. He constantly has a smile on his face and seems a lot more excited than he has been in a long time."

Astoundingly, Flaig and Tallady went to the same high school, the same church, and lived very close to each other. And now I need to clean off my keyboard because it's soaked in man-tears.

Man Saves Falling Baby, Twice

In Detroit during the 1930s, a series of freak occurrences happened. Joseph Figlock was a humble street sweeper minding his own business when he looked up and saw a baby falling from the sky. He broke the young'un's fall and the baby survived.

In 1938, one year later, the same baby fell from the same fourth-floor window. Figlock was again in the right place at the right time, and saved the two-year-old yet again. And the Mother of the Year award goes to...

Seth MacFarlane Misses Flight on 9/11

Seth MacFarlane partied too hard on September 10, 2001. The next morning he was scheduled for American Airlines Flight 11, the plane that crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center.

Hungover and late, he missed his flight by 15 minutes. At 8:46 a.m., it careened into the building and the world changed forever.

Massachusetts Man Wins Same Lottery, Twice

In October 2014, a Norwood, Mass. man wrote down his lucky numbers. Forgetting that he already owned a season pass for the same numbers, a representative called him and informed him he technically won twice.

Kenneth Stokes won $546,000. The odds of someone winning twice were 985,517 to one. He now receives a cool $25,000 a year for 20 years.


"BAD" DUMB LUCK


The Man Present in Both Hiroshima and Nagasaki

On August 6, 1945, Tsutomu Yamaguchi was in Hiroshima on business. He was done for the day and was about to leave the city when he saw a plane by high overhead. He then saw a tiny silvery package fall slowly from the sky. He instinctively took cover.

Yamaguchi was blown away and lost consciousness. When he awoke, the dust blanketing the city put it in an eerie darkness. His ear drums ruptured, his eyes went temporarily blind, and searing burns covered his body. He was 1.5 miles from ground zero.

Panicking, Yamaguchi ran to a train that was still in order. He fled to his hometown, Nagasaki. In typical Japanese fashion-while still in bandages-he went back to work on August 9. That day, "Fat Man" hit the city. He was again within 1.5 miles of blast radius.

In 2009, the Japanese government recognized him as the only person to survive both. Yamaguchi lived a ripe old life until he died in 2010 at 93.

Canadian Gets Mauled by Bear, then Shot by Son-in-Law

Winners of Canada's annual Best Name in the Universe Award Wilf Lloyd and Skeet Podrasky were hunting last October when a massive grizzly appeared in the distance. It attacked Lloyd and mauled him. Podrasky drew his gun and began firing. The first shot missed the bear and struck Lloyd, injuring him seriously.

The bear was made good, however, and conservation officers came to the scene. While the two men deserve to be on his list for those names alone, Lloyd takes the cake for the unluckiest.

Park Ranger Survives Seven Lightning Strikes

Between 1942 and 1977, Roy Sullivan worked as a park ranger in Virginia's Shenandoah National Park. He holds the Guinness World Record for being struck seven times by lightning. They've dubbed him the "Human Lightning Rod" and the "Human Lightning Conductor."

He survived blasts to the head, which in nearly every instance burnt his hair completely off. One time he was hit while a bear simultaneously tried to eat the trout on the end of his fishing line. He promptly swatted it with a tree branch. (He later claimed it was the 22nd time he's had to hit bears with sticks.) Multiple lightning bolts couldn't kill him, but he committed suicide at 71 because a chick wouldn't love him back.

The World's Luckiest Unluckiest Man

Croatian Frano Selak has lived the life of John McLane. He has had numerous brushes with death, lending him the nickname the "world's luckiest unluckiest man." Here are some of his follies.

o. 1962: Survived a train crash in a river that drowned 17.
o. 1963: Survived a plane crash by landing in a haystack-19 dead
o. 1966: Survived a bus crash that left four dead
o. 1970: Escaped a fiery car which ignited the fuel tank, blowing it to smithereens
o. 1977: A malfunctioning fuel pump in his car caught fire and flames singed off his hair
o. 1995: Hit by a bus in Zagreb, sustaining minor injuries
o. 1996: Just missed a head-on collision by swerving into a guard rail; he was ejected by the car because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt and his vehicle plummeted 300 feet into a ravine

In 2003, he won the lottery for $1,110,000.

Woman Surprises Boyfriend With Wedding Ceremony

A picture is worth a thousand words.

 

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This Genius Responds Perfectly To Texts From His Cheating Ex-Girlfriend

February 4, 2015, 2:15 am

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When you're cheated on, it can really mess with your head. So it's understandable if you think about caving when that cheater comes crawling back for one more chance. But this guy did not waver once. Nope. Instead, he shot down his cheating ex with a string of hilarious text responses all captured here for your enjoyment.



But wait, it gets better...



Via @KaneZipperman

 

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Police Arrest Pennsylvania Woman Who Was Sitting Naked on Top of a Whiskey Bottle

February 4, 2015, 2:40 am

≫ Next: We Think We've Found the Most Overbearing Mom of All Time

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According to The Smoking Gun, a 33-year-old Aliquippa woman was charged with drunk driving, reckless driving, open lewdness, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct last week after her 2003 Chevrolet Malibu struck another vehicle before coming to a complete stop at an intersection.


When police approached Justine King's crappy car, they noticed the airbags had deployed. Upon telling her that she had just hit another vehicle, King denied it and said she lived "around the corner" and was just picking up her boyfriend.

It was around the time of that denial that police also noticed King wasn't wearing any pants - or panties, for that matter - and that she was straddling an open empty bottle of Black Velvet Whisky. Officers instructed King to put her pants back on, as they could see them underneath the pedals on the driver's side floor. King refused and attempted to convince the officers that she left home without any pants on.

The officers were having none of it and were forced to pull King from her Malibu, but she wasn't going down without a fight. Once police finally restrained her and put her in the back of a squad car, King kicked out the back window while "continuously banging her head off the inside of the window panel."

In a related story, Black Velvet Whisky is apparently some really good shit.

This sounds just a tad sexier: Florida Woman Gets Out of Truck, Performs Half-Naked Yoga in Road

 

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We Think We've Found the Most Overbearing Mom of All Time

February 4, 2015, 2:50 am

≫ Next: Do Hot Teachers Get Less Prison Time When They Sleep With Their Students?

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Almost everyone can relate to having a mother who drives them a little nuts. Whether she's being nosy, annoying or overbearing, it's almost always because mom just loves us and wants what's best. But when it comes to the overbearing department, Kate Siegel has us all beat. Through the Instagram account @crazyjewishmom, Kate shares real text messages (she insists they are legit) from her mom that are indeed crazy, along with harsh, hypercritical and hilarious. Take a look.

















via Instagram

 

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Do Hot Teachers Get Less Prison Time When They Sleep With Their Students?

February 4, 2015, 4:50 am

≫ Next: Girl on Tinder Letting Everyone Know That She 'Just F**ked Edelman'

≪ Previous: We Think We've Found the Most Overbearing Mom of All Time

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It seems like every week a new story of a teacher sleeping with a student seems to pop up in the news. After a little bit of research and glancing at the photos, something stood out as interesting to us, but we'll let you be the judge.

All of these women were arrested for the same thing - sex with a minor, varying only slightly in age - so there's virtually no difference in the objective eyes of the law. And yet some of them got absolutely no prison time, while others were jailed for over 20 years. Do you see any difference in the offenders?

 

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