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If Sex Education Was Taught By Rappers

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Believe it or not, hip hop stars and rappers may not be the best source of information when it comes to sexual responsibility and safety. Most of us haven't lived our lives based solely on the sexual information obtained by rap lyrics, but what if you did? What if rappers were the ones in charge of teaching sex education? These are actual sex education questions from Sex,etc, followed by the answer from hip-hop and rap lyrics.

What if rappers taught sex ed

 

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This Has to Be the Worst Way to Lose a Basketball Game

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Nobody deserves some postgame ice cream more than this poor kid.

According to Sporting News, a Kansas middle school basketball game earlier this week provided us with perhaps the most heartbreaking loss in the history of the game.

The Riley County Falcons were clinging to a one-point lead with roughly six seconds left to play against the Rock Creek Mustangs in a Kansas Mid-East League game Monday night. But the Mustangs had the ball and a slick little player weaved his way through traffic for a relatively decent look at the basket for what would have been the game-winning bucket at the buzzer.

The fact that the ball didn't go in isn't the issue here. Hell, players miss game-winning buzzer beaters all the time. I mean, just ask LeBron James and he'll tell you as much. But it's where the ball came to a rest that will probably scar this poor kid more than walking in on his parents when they're "wrestling."


Hey, at the very least, all of these kids were able to learn at an early age that life is a bitch.

This kid is pretty much the exact opposite: High School Basketball Player Hits Two Half-Court Shots to Win Game

 

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Take a Walk on the Wild Side With Jen Wilke

Running With the Bulls is Still a Terrible Idea (Warning: Graphic Video)

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What's worse than taking a bull's horn up your ass? The fact that you paid for that opportunity is a good start.

According to CBS News, a 20-year-old American college student was in intensive care over the weekend after he suffered what a local surgeon called the "worst goring injury" he had ever seen at a bullfighting festival in Spain.

Benjamin Miller decided to give it a go at Sunday's Carnaval del Toro in Ciudad Rodrigo and suffered damage to his thighs, sphincter and back muscles in the process.


One of the injuries Miller suffered in this thighs was a 16-inch goring. The University of Mississippi student underwent three hours of surgery to repair that gash and curb the internal bleeding, but one of the operating surgeons didn't rule out another procedure to control the hemorrhage.

Hindsight is 20/20, but when an experienced surgeon at what is considered by many to be one of the oldest bull festivals in Spain says your goring wound is the biggest he's ever had to operate on, maybe running with the bulls is something you should refrain from doing in the future.

There are much easier ways to collect bull crap: 30,000 People Bought a $6 Box of Bull Feces From 'Cards Against Humanity'

 

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Afroman Arrested After Viciously Punching Drunk Girl on Stage

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We always thought rock stars love it when drunk girls jump on stage for a little booty-grinding sesh.

Afroman is apparently not one of them.

According to TMZ, the one-hit wonder was performing in Biloxi, Miss. last night when a drunk girl made her way onto the stage in what would turn out to be one of the worst decisions of her life.


Biloxi police later stopped the show and arrested the musician, but not before some dude was also able to jump on stage, presumably tell Afroman that he didn't want seconds, and rush to aid the poor girl.

A representative for Afroman said that the behavior was "totally out of character" for his client, and "he just reacted to someone being on stage."

It couldn't be confirmed if Afroman threw the punch at the unsuspecting drunkard "because he got high."

This is kind of the same thing except that a road-raging father is playing the part of Afroman and a car window is playing the part of the drunk chick: Watch This Road-Rager Lose His Mind and Punch Out a Car Window

 

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College Students Snapchat Their Sex Session From the Football Stadium Press Box

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snapchat neyland stadium sex, couple has sex in press box
At the University of Tennessee, it is apparently not all that difficult to break into the football stadium's press box and record yourself having sex, because that is exactly what a couple did over Valentine's Day weekend.

One half of the fornicating couple (most likely the male) posted the photo you can see below on the Volnationsnaps Snapchat account. This account is unaffiliated with the University of Tennessee Volunteers, but is still used by students as a dumping ground for party pics and whatnot. This one definitely qualifies. And because this is the state of a college education these days, the Snapchat caption includes both a clever pun and a typo:

snapchat neyland stadium sex, couple has sex in press box
Get it? "Volentine" because they are the Tennessee Vols! However, the football stadium is actually spelled Neyland. Close enough, and pretty impressive if this was posted while the act was in progress.

According to local media reports, nobody knows how the couple got into the stadium, let alone how they were then able to sneak into the press box. Either way, things don't look very rocky for this Rocky Top couple.

h/t Gawker

 

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A Tribute to Rachel's Greatest Moments on 'Friends'

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It's been more than ten years since the NBC comedy "Friends" went off the air, so we wanted to take a moment to honor one of its most beloved characters, Rachel Green (played by Jennifer Aniston). But also, big shout out to the guy responsible for controlling the temperature on set.

rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
rachel green friends, rachel friends nipples, jennifer aniston nipples
h/t Buzzfeed

 

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Clicking Zoom On Google Maps Reveals Building Shaped Like Naked Man

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A lot of hilarity has graced the Internet thanks to the existent of Google Maps and the ability to zoom in on just about any location in the world. Take the following location for example. This is what you first see when you when you search Newmarket Health Center in Canada and click over to satellite mode. Not much to laugh at. Until you start zooming...

building looks like naked man












(via Izismile)

 

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Today's Funny Photos

10 Facts About Condoms That'll Scare the Bejesus Out of You

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Once you've rounded third and started heading for the score, it's generally wise to practice safe sex. But before you get to that point, whip out this sheet of frightening facts about condoms to review with your significant other. It will most likely scare the bejesus out of both of you, and the night will end with you watching "Vampire Diaries" with a serious case of blue balls instead. But hey, that's the safest sex there is.

1. According to a recent CDC report, only 30 percent of single women with multiple partners have used condoms in the past month. Only 20 percent of single women reported "always" using them over the past year. So fellas, if you are going in without a holster for your gun, odds are some other cowboy has done the same thing not too long ago.

condom facts, frightening facts about condoms

2. Before use, a condom is considered 98 percent effective, but because of misuse and expiration dates, they're actually only around 80 percent effective in the end. That means 18 percent of men have either put it on incorrectly, thus negating its purpose of protecting from transmission, or waited long past the expiration date (because they've been carrying it around in their wallet since grade school).

condom facts, frightening facts about condoms

3. Standard condoms are made mostly latex, but a small percentage - less than two percent - have included animal bladders and lamb intestines, for all you vegan nymphomaniacs.

condom facts, frightening facts about condoms

4. Oil based products can dissolve condoms (hand cream, lipstick, Vaseline and baby oil). It's best to stick to water-based lubricants if things get a little dry in the heat of the night.

condom facts, frightening facts about condoms

5. A possible origin of the word "condom" is the Latin word "condus," meaning receptacle.

condom facts, frightening facts about condoms

6. A reported nine percent of men have admitted to ripping their condoms purposefully.

condom facts, frightening facts about condoms

7. More than two million boxes of condoms (with major brand names) were produced in foreign countries and released into the markets as illegal knockoffs before getting seized. That's either the greatest or worst scam of all time.

condom facts, frightening facts about condoms

8. Drugs and alcohol weaken the immune system, making you more susceptible to risk, thus the need for condoms -- especially when you're having trouble getting it up.

condom facts, frightening facts about condoms

9. Japan once had condoms derived from turtle shells (ouch) and another type made of leather.

condom facts, frightening facts about condoms

10. Ladies, 80 percent of guys have admitted in surveys that they will attempt not to use a condom, if they can get away without having one. In related news, more than 110 million STDs were reported in the U.S. according to the Center for Disease Control back in 2013.

condom facts, frightening facts about condoms

Frightening Fact Bonus
Double-baggers beware: If you use two condoms at once to be extra safe, you're actually increasing your risk because extra friction can cause tearing of the condom.

condom facts, frightening facts about condoms

 

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10 Distances You've Gone and You Don't Even Know It

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jonah hill running funny
Let it be known, I received a B- in high school calculus, so I'm credible. The following statistics show that math can be fun. Here are some distances you have gone (or will go) in your lifetime.

You will use 112 miles of toilet paper in your life.
funny cat toilet paper
Thanks to helpful statistics from Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the average man uses 20,805 sheets a year. After crunching the numbers we came up with a grand total of 592,942 feet, or 112.3 miles. (One sheet is 4.5 inches in length.)

In other words, every decade your hand travels 3 miles wiping your ass.
peter griffin wiping ass
Let's assume it you cover one inch per wipe using only one sheet at a time. That comes to 1,733.75 feet a year. That's a third of a mile.

Through college, your masturbatory emissions will fly 408 feet.
Per Men's Health, the average launch is 8.5 inches. And since undergraduates buff the bishop 12 times a month, we come to our grand total of 408 feet. College is stressful.

You will pee 1,313 miles in your life.
peeing in the morning meme
Imagining your urine as one long strand, starting from birth to death, we can figure out the length. Science Buzz says the average man will piss 10,957.5 gallons in his life, or 1,464.8 cubic feet. By using the equation for determining the volume of a cylinder (your piss strand, guesstimating the diameter of it is .5 cm), we came up with the distance of 6,930,754 feet, or 1,313 miles.



Now that we've covered the essentials, let's move on.

In your lifetime you will walk 3 times around the planet.
spiderman walking
The average American walks 5,900 steps daily (which sounds way too high). Maintaining that daily average until 76 will bring you to 163,666,000 steps. Summarily, a person will walk 77,493 miles in a lifetime. Which is equivalent to 3.11 times around earth, walking on the equator.

You'll commute to the moon and back, at least, throughout your working life.

The average person drives 25 miles to work and back each day. Retirement age is 66 years, and assuming you begin commuting at 22 and continue for 44 years, you'll go a grand total 550,000 miles in your life. (The moon is 238,900 miles from Earth.)

Every six years, Americans drink enough bottles of beer to have them reach planet Mercury if they were stacked up on top of each other.

Americans drink around 6.3 billion gallons of beer annually. Converting that into ounces (and bottles), you would have 67.2 billion 12 oz. bottles. Each bottle is roughly 9 inches tall, so that would stretch to 9.54 million miles high every year. Mercury is 57 million miles away.

If you lined up all the bananas the average American eats in his lifetime, it'd be 9 football fields long.
ron swanson banana
Americans eat an average of 62 bananas every year and the average banana is 7.5 inches long. In all, those bananas lined up over 76 years would be 2,945 feet, or 897.6 meters long.

The average person's fingernails will grow 9 feet in a lifetime.
long fingernails
Human fingernails grow at a rate of 3mm a month, and over the course of a lifetime that adds up to 2,736mm, or approximately 108 inches.

According to a 2006 study, the average dollar bill travels a little over 200 miles a year.

This claim is based on numbers from WheresGeorge.com, a site that allows people to track currency as it moves around the country. So, be sure to wash your hands after handling cash, kids.

 

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A Little Humor Can Spice Up Any Relationship

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Let's be honest, there's a good chance you just aren't living up to expectations in the bedroom. But it's okay, because that's not the only thing that matters in a relationship. If you and your special someone have a sense of humor, all of your bedroom problems won't even matter. (That's probably not true at all, but at least you'll have something to laugh at to help you mask the pain!)

























 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week

New Chelsea Soccer Player Hires Playboy Model to Teach Him English

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The Chelsea Football Club has apparently been providing Juan Cuadrado with in-house English classes, but we're thinking their new winger may want a few extra lessons from Carla Howe.

carla howe teaching soccer player English
According to Caught Offside, the Colombian midfielder and Playboy model exchanged private messages over Instagram after he was sold to Chelsea from Florentina earlier this month.

"When's the first lesson start lol" the busty Playmate asked, obviously in Spanish.

Howe seems to have a thing for soccer players, as she's reportedly been linked to Luke Shaw and Patrice Evra. Maybe Cuadrado will check in with them first to gauge their grasp on the English language after spending time with her.

Then again, even if he doesn't learn a lick of English from Howe, we think he'll find that just spending time alone with her will make him a more well-rounded individual:

Carla Howe teaching soccer player English
Carla Howe teaching soccer player English
Carla Howe teaching soccer player English
Carla Howe teaching soccer player English
Here's a great example of how to teach somebody the number 12: Chilean Porn Star Has Sex for 12 Straight Hours After Chile's First World Cup Win

 

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Woman Divorcing Husband Because He 'Only' Has Sex With Her Three Times a Week

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Geez. Most American married couples will tell you that they're ecstatic if they find time to bump uglies three times a month.

According to Gulf News, a Dubai woman is looking for a divorce from her husband because he doesn't have sex with her two to three times a day.

Dubai woman divorcing husband because he has sex with her just 3 times a week
The woman filed a lawsuit with the Dubai Sharia Court arguing that her sexual needs were not being met because her husband was not playing a game of Hide the Salami with her at the rate of multiple times daily.

When the court asked her how many times a week her husband pleased her, the woman responded with "three to four times." The presiding judge determined that was good enough and told the woman she did not have grounds to demand a divorce from her husband.

The judge also suggested the woman undergo medical treatment for her needs, but she of course declined and suggested that her husband do that instead.

The good news for the man is that if he can continue at his rate of three to four plow sessions a week, he should be able to get pretty much every other woman on the planet.

The horniest women in the world apparently live overseas: Mumbai Man Asks for Divorce Because of Too Much Sex

 

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Watch This A**hole Try to Kick a Dog But Slip and Face-Plant Instead

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Kicking a dog is a heinous act that should be punished no matter where you live, but that won't be necessary for this guy, as instant karma thankfully intervened. I mean, not only did this dude miss the friendly-looking Fido, but he also wound up kicking his own ass instead.


We're not sure where this video was taken, but I think it's safe to say that eating anything after you drop it on that floor will give you the runs. (Source: New York Daily News)

This clown goes from badass purse thief to gigantic crying p***y in less than 15 seconds: Watch This Wannabe Purse Thief's Epic Fail Become Instant Karma

 

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This Grandma Could Not Figure Out Why Her Cell Phone's Clock Was Always Wrong

Get Courted by the Lovely Kacy Vallencourt

Naked Florida Woman Arrested for Masturbating in Traffic

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Yeah, you can't do that. Even in Florida.

According to the Orlando Sentinel, a 31-year-old naked woman was arrested and charged with criminal mischief and "exposing her sexual organs" after police said she stopped traffic Sunday night and masturbated in front of a couple inside a Lexus.

woman stops traffic and masturbates in front of car
Police said Amie Carter then climbed on the hood, stomped on the car and threw a cell phone at another vehicle behind the Lexus. She was still naked when cops found her shortly after 11 p.m. Officers asked her to get out of the street, but she refused, probably because she was on "heavy drugs."

After a bout of "pulling and kicking her legs in the air," officers were able to wrestle Carter to the ground, cover her in a blanket and put her in handcuffs.

Authorities said Carter caused approximately $1,500 in damage to the Lexus, which we're guessing is going to be quite a bitch for her to come up with.

Carter actually seems pretty normal when you compare her to this guy: Florida Man Had Sex with His Pit Bull in Front of His Neighbors

 

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Truck Dumps 400 Gallons of Poop on Indiana Highway

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Oh, is that what that was? I thought you passed gas, but I didn't say anything because I wanted to be polite.

According to IndySTAR, a tanker truck carrying somewhere between 300 to 400 gallons of raw sewage dropped its load on an Interstate 65 exit ramp in Indiana Thursday afternoon, leaving an ankle deep puddle of shit that eventually froze and forced the closure of the ramp.

Truck dumps 400 gallons of poop on Indiana highway
Before a front loader could scrape the crap off the road and load it into a dump truck to be taken away, the "toxic poopsicle" had to be salted and sanded because it froze so quickly.

Authorities were unable to catch up to the perp who dropped the massive load of sewage and said he probably doesn't even know he is responsible for the mess. They said he won't find out he's the reason behind the dung dump until he arrives at his scheduled wastewater treatment plant.

The exit ramp has since reopened, but odds are you'll want to take the one after it. Well, unless you're driving your mother-in-law's car.

This actually had the potential to smell even worse: Truck Driver Spills 24 Tons of Sardines on Road

 

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