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Katy Perry Has Awesome Boobs: A Retrospective

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Katy Perry is known for many things: her catchy Top 10 singles (especially about kissing a girl and liking it); her brief marriage to Russell Brand, and being the child of ministers. But we bet if you asked a stranger on the street what the first word that comes to mind is when they hear the name Katy Perry, that word is boobs. Breasts. Rack. Call 'em what you want, but they are glorious. We've done the dirty work of putting together her 12 most cleavage heavy pics. Scroll down and enjoy the bounty of bust.

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Zoe Kravitz Lets Us In On A Little Secret

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How to Date Zoë Kravitz
Zoe Kravitz is giving it to us straight, thanks to her latest "How to Date Me" segment with GQ. The once budding daughter of faux rocker, Lenny Kravitz, is now a full-blown movie star, and it seems guys are more intimidated by her than ever. With Zoe, it's all about musical taste. If you're into D'Angelo and have the balls to say hello, you're golden. After small appearances in "Californication" and "Divergent," Zoe can now be seen in the anticipated 2015 blockbuster, "Mad Max: Fury Road." Check out more of the bad ass Zoe Kravitz right this instant.

 

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I Watched A Porn Star Get A Fleshlight Molding. This Is My Story.

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When you were a kid you probably dreamed of going to a magical place like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory to see how all your delicious treats were created. I got to do something like that. I got to go to Austin, Texas and witness Fleshlight doing a molding of a porn star's vagina and butthole. If you're not familiar with Fleshlight, or if your girlfriend is reading this over your shoulder and you have to pretend not to know what one is, it's a lifelike replica of a hoo-ha you can use for solo sex sessions. They have ones created in the likeness of just about every big name in porn, but you have to wonder how much it's truly based on her actual lady business.

Let me assure you, it's on point.

Eva Lovia was the star getting molded on the day I was there. We all sat around in a big, mostly empty room with a hospital-style chair on one side along with a bunch of supplies that looked like your garage during a home improvement project.

fleshlight molding

It was Eva, her boyfriend, the two vagina molders, Fleshlight's PR director Amanda, and myself in the room. They told Eva we were ready to get started, which meant she needed to engorge her labia to get the proper look for the molding. I've never had a job that required anyone's labia to be engorged, so we're off to a great start. She was given a magic wand and started...prepping?



Once she was, er...stimulated they took some photos of her vagina on what I would assume is a camera roll that you certainly couldn't have developed at Walgreens.



They measured it, and then started applying the plaster-substance to get the exact mold. Their material is designed to be nearly identical to the feel of human skin and when it's heated is supposed to feel completely realistic. Eva has to remain still for around 25 minutes, so one of the Fleshlight guys held up one of her legs while her boyfriend held the other. It was a little quiet in the room, so I turned on a Rihanna playlist, which instantly makes any situation better, in my experience. Especially when it comes to vaginal moldings.



They'd check the molding the same way you'd check a pan of cupcakes in the oven. You know, if those cupcakes had an engorged labia.



The molding came off and was an exact replica of all of her situation. She took a short water break and rolled over for the next phase: her butthole! Lucky for her, there's nothing to engorge, so she just had to get as comfortable as you can get while someone photographs and pours plaster onto your butt.



The guys mixed up another concoction after taking photos and began applying it. You'd be shocked at how casual the whole process is. It's simply business as usual.





As chill as it was, I was lucky enough to have a photo taken of me during the molding that was posted on Fleshlight's social media pages. I look like a creepy janitor that wandered into the wrong room and thought, "Well, well, well, what have we here? A butthole? I certainly need to document this with a few quick photos that I'll print out and hang in my den of nudity later today." Seriously, I look completely terrifying.
The molding was applied and we just sat around and chatted for a bit, like it was just a group of co-workers gathered around a water cooler and not a naked porn star.



The guys told me they'd done a male porn star molding the day before and in order to do the mold, the dude has to get and maintain an erection while sitting or standing there for 25 minutes. I don't even like to stand for 25 minutes. One guy they had molded a while back had to be scaled down a little because he was six and a half inches in girth and nearly twelve inches long. You may hear that and think he's a lucky guy, I hear that and think about how difficult it must be for him to find a pair of shorts he can wear in public without going to jail.

The butt molding came out perfectly and they'll send it over to the sculptors who will combine the photos with the mold to create a nearly identical replica to her actual body.



So is Fleshlight an accurate replica of the star's parts they claim to capture? Absolutely. This isn't some generic template with a different name on each one. These are crafted with precision and skill. They're the best for a reason and obviously that reason is they post pictures of me hovering over porn stars with a camera phone looking like someone who wears turtlenecks in the middle of summer and smells stranger's hair on the subway.

Thanks to the Fleshlight team and to Eva Lovia for letting me hang out. I'll be sure to forward them all your inevitable requests for a molding of myself as soon as possible. Haha right? Right? Anybody?

 

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Today's Funny Photos

10 Incredibly Dangerous Recalled Toys of Years Past

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For the average person, looking back on your childhood fills you with nostalgia, especially when thinking about all the fun times you had playing with your favorite toys. For those who were unfortunate enough to have possessed any of the following recalled items, however, "nostalgia" might not be the best term to use. Sure, everyone now realizes how products back in the day such as the Easy-Bake Oven could have easy killed or injured them badly under the right circumstances, but in most of the following cases it actually did. After browsing this list, you'll certainly be counting your lucky stars that you made it to your adult life in one piece.

Cabbage Patch Kids Snacktime Kid
dangerous recalled toys, cabbage patch kids snacktime kid
As if Cabbage Patch Kids weren't frightening enough already, they had to go and start biting children. Don't get us wrong, you had to be incredibly dumb and tiny for this to happen, but when that's who the product was primarily marketed to, it was bound to happen. A lot. Enough, in fact, that Mattel entered them into voluntary recall in 1997 after being released just one year prior. So what was the issue? Designed with a motorized mouth mechanism to mimic chewing, children were supposed to feed the toys fake plastic food but instead began sticking their fingers and hair in instead. Since the motorized intake system had no off switch, this became a pretty pressing issue despite the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) never actually finding any serious safety hazards associated with the dolls.

Lawn Darts
dangerous recalled toys, lawn darts jarts
We wanted to ease you into all this with Cabbage Patch dolls so perhaps you wouldn't be as disturbed as we moved along to more dangerous products. At least when it comes to lawn darts (sometimes called Jarts), it's easy to see what the potential issue was right away. First off, they were introduced in the 1970s and were only supposed to be sold to adults. However, few stores actually complied with this, which is why these weighted, steel-tipped accidents waiting to happen wound up being responsible for over 6,000 injuries and the deaths of three children before finally being banned by the CPSC in 1988. You can still buy lawn darts in stores today, but they now come with rounded plastic tips instead of the obviously dangerous steel skewers of old.

Sky Rangers Park Flyer Radio Control Airplane
dangerous recalled toys, sky rangers park flyer radio control airplane
It's already scary flying on an actual plane that could explode and kill everyone on board. So when the Estes-Cox Corporation began marketing radio-controlled airplanes which wound up blowing up in the hands of the children back in 2005, the CPSC wasn't particularly happy about it. Even though the explosions didn't cause any deaths, 45 incidents were reported concerning temporary ear pain and hearing loss, minor burns to the hands and face, and a couple of cases of eye injuries. Needless to say, the product was taken off the market by the end of 2006.

Sportsstuff WeGo Kite Tube
dangerous recalled toys, sportsstuff wego kite tube
Speaking of toys that go airborne, the WeGo Kite Tube sounded like the peak of fun and excitement when it came to tubing. Alas, it bit off more than it could chew after nearly 40 separate incidences were reported between its release in October 2005 to its voluntary recall in July 2006. Of the most severe accidents included two deaths, a broken neck and a punctured lung. What could you expect, though, from a 10-foot wide circular inflatable tube designed to fly through the air at heights of up to 15 feet or more before crashing back to the choppy waters below? Well, other than a totally kickass video of someone eating it super hard, of course. You'll know exactly why this toy was banned forever once you get to the end of said video.

Sky Dancers
dangerous recalled toys, sky dancers
We're pretty sure everyone had a Sky Dancer or some sort of knockoff growing up. Having said that, we sincerely doubt that most of us considered just how risky these toys actually were for children. When you stop and think about it, they were almost as dangerous as lawn darts. This was proven back in June 2000 when they were finally recalled by the CPSC after six years on the market and over 170 reported incidences of the toys striking children, which in turn resulted in 150 reported injuries. The toys were unpredictable when launched, causing multiple eye injuries, broken teeth, a mild concussion and even a broken rib in one case. See, it's not always as cute as AFV videos make it seem.

Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab
dangerous recalled toys, Gilbert  U-238 Atomic Energy Lab
We probably should have put this at the very end of the list due to how unpredictably dangerous it was, but considered it was only on the market for one year in the early 1950s, it wasn't as big of a deal as it most certainly would be today. A.C. Gilbert, the inventor of another popularly banned children's product the Gilbert Glass Blowing Set, released his U-238 Atomic Energy Lab from 1951 to 1952 at the unreasonably high price (at the time) of $50. Marketed as "the most elaborate Atomic Energy educational set ever produced," it sure stuck to its word in that department, as it contained four Uranium-bearing ore samples with a form inside to order even more. The product was later rebranded and marketed as "radiation poisoning in a box." It was not a huge seller.

"CSI" Fingerprint Examination Kit
dangerous recalled toys, csi fingerprint examination kit
Staying on the subject of cool science toys that were slowly murdering children, the "CSI" Fingerprint Examination Kit was released late in 2007 and would have been a great way to get children of a young age interested in forensics if not for one fatal flaw: the 7 percent of tremolite found in its dusting powder. For those of you who aren't familiar, tremolite is also known as one of the most lethal forms of asbestos, with even one-time exposure linked to developing lung disease and mesothelioma later in life. China-based manufacturer CBS Consumer Products was asked by the CPSC to remove the product from stores immediately, but opted instead to keep it on the shelves for the Christmas season while the recall was still in negotiation. Fortunately, independent volunteer group Asbestos Disease Awareness Organization filed a civil action lawsuit in the meantime to get the product pulled, but it still took until July 2009 for CBS to finally comply.

Aqua Dots
dangerous recalled toys, aqua dots
From a case of a faulty "CSI" product to one that sounds like it could be a case on "CSI," Aqua Dots is one of the stranger recalls on this list. Imagine that your young child suddenly became dizzy, vomited, and slipped into a short coma after ingesting a few dozen seemingly harmless beads from a craft playset. You later find out he or she actually got sick because there was gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid (GHB) in their system. GHB, of course, being the technical name for what is commonly referred to as "the date rape drug." As it turns out, the adhesive which coated Aqua Dots and made them stick to each other when water was added metabolizes into GHB when ingested, making it quite dangerous if absorbed into the body. Luckily, the product was swiftly recalled and only spent from April to November of 2007 in stores.

Dive Sticks
dangerous recalled toys, dive sticks
Dive sticks are primarily used in swimming pools as a fun way to test your underwater swimming skills. Basically, you throw the colorful numbered sticks in and jump in after them, seeing how many you can grab before resurfacing. The problem was that many of the sticks would remain in an upright position at the bottom of the pool when thrown in, causing an impalement hazard to anyone not paying close enough attention. Sure enough, roughly 365,000 units had to be recalled back in June 1999 for that very reason, with the risk of facial and eye injuries and even rectal or vaginal impalement being a major concern. Dive sticks are still sold today, but since the recall have been redesigned to prevent such dangers.

Battlestar Galactica Colonial Viper
dangerous recalled toys, battlestar galactica colonial viper
We've come to the recalled toy that started it all. The photo we've used isn't the actual product in question, but the aftermath of said product. As you can see on the front of this particular Battlestar Galactica Colonial Viper box, it specifically notes that the missiles are not included and that the launchers do not work. This is because on the original 1978 model there actually was a tiny plastic missile which you were able to shoot. Sadly, a 4-year-old child got a hold of one and shot a missile down his own throat, suffocating him. His parents sued Mattel, the product was recalled, and since then choking hazard warnings have been a staple of all toys with tiny pieces.

 

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Check Out These People Who Were Forced To Become Cat Owners

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Cats get away with so much that it is only fitting they enter your home and make you acknowledge their presence. "Not my cat" you say? Now it is. Here are some people who don't own cats but were hilariously forced to deal with them anyway.

Funny Photos, Cats, not my cat

Funny Photos, Cats, not my cat

Funny Photos, Cats, not my cat

Funny, Funny Photos, Cats

Funny, Funny Photos, Cats

Funny, Funny Photos, Cats

Funny, Funny Photos, Cats

Funny, Funny Photos, Cats

Funny, Funnny Photos, Cats

Funny, Funny Photos, Cats

Funny, Funny Photos, Cats

Funny, Funny Photos, Cats

Funny, Funny Photos, Cats

Funny, Funny Photos, Cats

Funny, Funny Photos, Cats

Via Pleated-Jeans

 

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People Accidentally Ruining Photos Are The Best Photobombs

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Photobombs are funny, whether they are by celebrities, animals, ghosts or just normal folks like you and me. But when people accidentally get in the way and ruin a photogenic moment, it's the funniest form of photobombing there is. Take a look below and you'll have to agree.

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people getting in the way, people ruining photos, accidental photobomb

people getting in the way, people ruining photos, accidental photobomb

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people getting in the way, people ruining photos, accidental photobomb

people getting in the way, people ruining photos, accidental photobomb

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people getting in the way, people ruining photos, accidental photobomb

Of course, we know animals will get in on this action, too:

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people getting in the way, people ruining photos, accidental photobomb

But nobody accidentally photobombs as hard as this woman:

people getting in the way, people ruining photos, accidental photobomb
via Imgur

 

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Type in "Dumb F***" on Google Maps and the United States Supreme Court Appears

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Google Maps is convenient when searching for an address, but apparently now you can type in "Dumb F***" on Google Maps and the United States Supreme Court pops up. Which probably isn't very helpful if you're attempting to write a paper on our government. Although it might be more accurate.

News, Google Map Search

Google continues to have problems aside from the whole "Dumb F***" fiasco. Last night, Google had a horribly racist search leading users to the Whit House.

There have been awful, racist comments directed at President Obama since the day he took office, and this is just another example, only now a massive company has to answer for it.

"Some inappropriate results are surfacing in Google Maps that should not be, and we apologize for any offense this may have caused," Google executives said. "Our teams are working to fix this issue quickly," a Google spokesperson was quoted as saying.

News, Google Map Search

There is no word yet on whether someone hacked Google or if one of their employees did this themselves, but regardless, it is just an ignorant person with too much time on their hands, desperate for some attention while they wait for their Hot Pockets to be ready.

Via TMZ

 

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Nicole Neal to the Rescue in Wake of UK's Sexy Blonde Shortage

Every Jury Duty Seating Chart Ever

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I just received my third jury duty summons. The past two times I was summoned, I was selected to serve on a jury both times. I fully expect to end up on a jury this time around and I already know the kinds of people I'll have to be coming to an agreement with. The worst of the worst. If you've ever served on a jury, you know damn well that these are all of the people who will be serving with you.

 

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How To Stay Cool When It's Hot Out

Today's Funny Photos

The 20 Worst Tattoos of Celebrities

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Whether it's because of a character they play or simply out of admiration, some people can't wait to tattoo their favorite celebrity onto their body. Of course, some forethought on the matter might have done the following people a bit of good, especially considering how godawful their tattoos of famous film/television stars, athletes or musicians turned out. But hey, even celebrities themselves make mistakes when it comes to their horrible tattoo choices. Perhaps the ones on this list aren't so bad after all...just kidding, they most definitely are.

Betty White
worst tattoos of celebrities, betty white

Charlie Sheen
worst tattoos of celebrities, charlie sheen
"Hilariously topical tattoo, bro." -2011

Freddie Mercury
worst tattoos of celebrities, freddie mercury

Mike Myers & Dana Carvey ("Wayne's World")
worst tattoos of celebrities, mike myers dana carvey waynes world
Yesterday, we would have told you that nothing could sully the good name of the "Wayne's World" franchise. Not anymore.

John Lennon (or possibly Daniel Radcliffe of the "Harry Potter" films?)
worst tattoos of celebrities, daniel radcliffe harry potter

Mike Tyson
worst tattoos of celebrities, mike tyson
Don't worry, his back and shoulder hair should cover most of that up when it grows back in.

Bob Saget ("Full House")
worst tattoos of celebrities, bob saget full house

Hanson
worst tattoos of celebrities, hanson
Sadly, this poor soul can't even try to pass this tattoo off as, "I was just a stupid kid when I got this." That is clearly adult Hanson.

David Spade ("Joe Dirt")
worst tattoos of celebrities, david spade joe dirt

David Carradine
worst tattoos of celebrities, david carridine
Too soon...I think.

Elvis Presley
worst tattoos of celebrities, elvis presley

Michael Jackson
worst tattoos of celebrities, michael jackson
It's a lovely sentiment, but no one is resting in peace after laying eyes on this nightmare.

Sacha Baron Cohen ("Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan")
worst tattoos of celebrities, sacha baron cohen borat

Hulk Hogan
worst tattoos of celebrities, hulk hogan
We certainly don't remember Hulk Hogan having such a sweet rack.

Ryan Gosling
worst tattoos of celebrities, ryan gosling

Tupac Shakur
worst tattoos of celebrities, tupac shakur
It's never a good idea to get a tattoo on "Take Your Child to Work" day.

Justin Bieber
worst tattoos of celebrities, justin bieber

Will Ferrell ("Anchorman")
worst tattoos of celebrities, will ferrell anchorman
The only thing worse than this atrocious Ron Burgundy tattoo is the sequel.

Butch Patrick ("The Munsters")
worst tattoos of celebrities, butch patrick the munsters

Thom Yorke
worst tattoos of celebrities, thom yorke
While this may actually be pretty funny, we can't imagine it's done wonders for this dude's sex life.

 

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The Top 10 Films That Ruined Their Film Franchise

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When a movie is successful, Hollywood is often quick to summon a sequel. When a celebrated film's follow-up is equally renowned, something truly magical has happened. As moviegoers, favored franchises take up a very special place in our hearts and become something we feel privileged to have been a part of. But more often than not, filmmakers will finally get sloppy with their new addition, and upon viewing, our disappointment is multiplied, sometimes beyond rational explanation. Watching a movie in a franchise that causes it to jump the shark is very hard to bear. Here we rank the top ten examples of the movie within a blockbuster series that did all that damage.

10. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
Movies, Sequels
Until 1980, the biggest fear a camp counselor had was poison oak and a bed-wetting bunk member. Then came "Friday the 13th," which saw them become easy prey for a distraught mother of a drowned camper. Her beheading, and the film's success, saw the young son's - who in death somehow grew into a man - resurrection and resumption of his mom's murderous rampage. A non-profit family business in a sense. The "Friday the 13th" franchise sits atop the slasher film genre and its hockey-masked monster, Jason Vorhees, its most famous. But the 9th installment, which finally sent Jason to a fiery afterlife, fittingly was where the franchise did, in a sense, die for good.

The joy audiences normally received seeing coeds snuffed out and mutilated in all sorts of creative ways was replaced with an emotion most closely resembling a longer than expected phone call to your cable company. While most if not all the "Friday" films have plenty of faults to find - VIII's voyage to NYC was loudly lambasted because it spent a blood drops-worth of screen time in the city that gave its title its name - "Hell" was so bedeviling that the reboots that eventually followed couldn't shake the stench of an overused body bag. (Photo Credit: New Line Cinema/Photofest)

9. Spider-Man 3 (2007)​
Movies, Sequels
The current superhero fever Hollywood is under may be traced all the way back to 2002 and the release of "Spider-Man." We'd seen "Superman" and "Batman" before and the success of "X-Men" had begun to hasten the globe's mutant acceptance, but there was something watershed about "Spider-Man," a slick, vibrant take on the Marvel idol that truly changed perceptions of how viable a comic book franchise was. The original film knocked it out of the park, with a young cast bringing great spirit to the story of a savior new to the big screen. A sequel followed with a great villain and this series had moviegoers stuck in its web. Then along came a "Spider-Man 3."

A blockbuster yes, which made hundreds of millions of dollars worldwide, but the individual ticket holder was left scratching their head. Big, busy and bloated with a meandering script and an annoying romantic subplot, this installment was a truly tangled trainwreck. Somehow one villain was not enough, so audiences were served up three, whose presences were all so brief and scattered that their evil deeds left little impact. But what people most turned their noses up at was a dance montage of Peter Parker being groovy and hip, which made actor Tobey Maguire look thoroughly uncool. A planned "Spider-Man 4" was eventually scrapped and a reboot never managed to capture the original's swing. (Photo Credit: Columbia Pictures/Photofest)

8. Superman III (1983)
Movies, Sequels
Before CGI became standard fare, 1978 audiences were truly mesmerized to see "Superman" fly onscreen. Though not as boldly colored and glossy as the comic book adaptations sprouting up today, his trailblazing original feature can still teach most of present day's ubiquitous offerings a thing or two about narrative, suspense, and even coherence. "Superman" was followed up by "Superman II" which somehow gave the first installment's amazing villain stiff competition with another badass who was a force to be reckoned with. That all ended in 1983.

In an attempt to bring all-out humor to the franchise, Richard Pryor was cast as a wisecracking, lovable nemesis and the film pretty much collapsed from there as if it were exposed to kryptonite or a nefarious krytonite-like substitute. What was left was a ridiculous mess of a movie that literally never got off the ground. Right from the get-go even, the pre-credit sequence was just jaw-droppingly awful. Considering how much hard work was put into the first two "Superman" films to earn the franchise a revered reputation, this sluggish, sloppy third tainted all that with the force of a gut punch from the Man of Steel himself. (Photo Credit: Warner Bros./Photofest)

7. Star Trek, Nemesis (2002)
Movies, Sequels
When it comes to shark jumping, like the Enterprise's space adventures themselves, "Star Trek" has had some close calls. Critics may agree that the franchise could have certainly jumped from the start, with its first film installment garnering poor reviews. For such a huge pop culture moment - launching a legendary, special effects- heavy TV series onto the big screen - its slow pace and inaction disappointed most. But there was enough profit to produce a follow up and "The Wrath of Khan" soared. Two successes followed and then the reigns were given to The Captain himself, William Shatner, to direct the next chapter. Another big bust, but not a nail in the coffin. The final film in the series, "The Undiscovered Country" sent the crew off on a high note.

Officially though we believe the franchise as a whole phased out for good when the torch was passed to "The Next Generation," which admirably carried it over the course of four films. But its last, "Nemesis," was a commercial flop. So much so that if there had been effort to bring the other TV spinoffs to the big screen, this dud likely put them to rest. Yes, JJ Abrams has rebooted the series as a "Muppet Babies"-esque origin story film series, but despite financial success they sure don't capture the raw devotion we feel towards the original characters from both original TV series. (Photo Credit: Paramount/Photofest)

6. Jaws 3D (1983)
Movies, Sequels
If we're going to discuss shark jumping here it's only fitting that we include a film about a shark. Back when Spielberg was fresh and exciting, he single-handedly ushered in the concept of the summer blockbuster with his masterful sea epic. "Jaws" was influential at every level - storytelling, imagery, music, even the poster for the darn thing is iconic. The studio quickly saw that making money from this brand would be like shooting fish in a barrel - so "Jaws 2" was spawned. Kinda ridiculous - could a shark really best a helicopter? - but edge of your seat fun, like a great all-you-can-eat seafood buffet, this sequel left audiences craving more. "Jaws 3D" was not what they had in mind.

Back in 1983, expectant audiences accessorized with cardboard glasses - yes, kids, they were made from cardboard with plastic paper lenses then - were only left seasick. There was nothing enjoyable about this sequel, just purposeless and plodding, even the items that popped out from the screen at you were dismissible. Who would have thought watching one 2D waterskier get attacked by a shark in Part 2 would be more satisfying than seeing a whole 3D troupe fall to one in Part 3? "Jaws 3D" was such a fatal blow to the franchise that when they trotted out Chief Brody's wife - Chief Brody's wife! - to headline "Jaws: The Revenge" a few years later, by that time the true victims of that "Revenge" were the audience. (Photo Credit: MCA/Universal)

5. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Movies, Sequels
Number one was an intense low-budget sci-fi masterpiece with a mind-bending story and breathtaking action. The film that launched Arnold to stardom and his declaration, "I'll be back," as his classic catchphrase. Number two was a rollicking big budget extravaganza which upped the ante tenfold on action, special effects, and general awe. This was a runaway roller coaster that no one wanted to stop. Comparatively, "Terminator 3" smelled like another kind of number two completely.

James Cameron was gone as director. Linda Hamilton was gone as the leading lady. Edward Furlong, whose personal life had spiraled out of control was replaced with Nick Stahl (who would go on to suffer from his own offscreen troubles.) What was left was Arnold, who's always a kick to have around, sure, but isn't going to deliver any high-minded, story-steering dialogue, and Claire Danes, who we only really wanted to see brood about social pressure like she did as a teen on TV, not about an upcoming robot apocalypse in a beloved film series. The "Terminator" franchise did not end here. We've seen one starring Christian Bale - though the most notable moment of "Salvation" was the hot tempered actor's secretly recorded behind-the-scenes meltdown. And a new version is on the horizon. But the greatness of the original two has not be replicated. Unfortunately, traveling back in time to alter the past might be the only method to do so. (Photo Credit: Photofest)

4. The Godfather Part III (1990)
Movies, Sequels
When you've made two films in a series that are considered to be among the best ever made, when making their follow-up, particularly almost to two decades later, you should tread very carefully. The passage of time has been kind to "The Godfather Part III" with critics now arguing that it's not a terrible movie. But that might not exactly be the point. The point is if you're lucky and skilled enough to create two Faberge eggs, don't complement them with a really nice-looking one from Macy's. It's just not the same.

Francis Ford-Coppola's first two "Godfather" films may even be too triumphant to have the inferior "Part III" stain its legacy. Some may argue otherwise. But regardless, when it was released in 1990, this was a letdown of monumental proportions. Conspicuously missing from the cast was Robert Duvall, who opted out for financial reasons, and has surmised that the movie was only made for the same reason instead of a creative drive to advance the saga. And most of the blame for the film's bad rap was laid upon Sofia Coppola, the director's daughter, who was a last-minute replacement for an ailing Winona Ryder in an integral role. Maybe the trilogy's most chilling refrain, "don't go against the family," shouldn't apply to casting. (Photo Credit: Paramount Pictures/Photofest)

3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Movies, Sequels
The goofy title alone should have been clue enough that something bad was about to happen here. Moviegoers were so excited that everyone's favorite archaeologist was dusting off his fedora and whip for another adventure, though, that only good thoughts prevailed in their anticipation. Though critics were respectful as they mostly are to anything Spielberg or Lucas do, the public's enthusiasm quickly collided with this cinematic crime of the 21st Century. At first some fans, hungover with excitement at seeing Indy in action again at long last, were slow to absorb the enormity of this transgression, but time and reality eventually sunk in and the fanboys were furious.

In "Kingdom," Indy, our hero, was subjected to one absurd tribulation after the next in the form of angry monkeys, giant ants, and long-dormant aliens, or worse, the revelation that Shia LeBeouf was his son. But most egregious was his survival of a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator that was shot in the air and crash-landed to safety. In its entirety, this boulder-sized letdown was perhaps best expressed in a "South Park" episode where the boys come to terms with the shock of witnessing firsthand his famous creators wrestling Indy to the ground...and raping him. (Photo Credit: Paramount Pictures/Photofest)

2. Alien 3 (1992)
Movies, Sequels
Ridley Scott. James Cameron. David Fincher. Which one does not belong? The answer is David Fincher. The worst thing to ever happen to me in a movie theater was "Alien 3." In 1979, Ridley Scott combined horror, sci-fi and action and gave us one of the most influential movies of all time. In 1986, James Cameron was bestowed this prized property and with great care advanced the story as a non-stop action adventure that continues to thrill today. In 1992, David Fincher, behaving like a egomaniacal sociopath, unzipped and pissed all that rich history away.

In "Alien 3" the surviving cast from "Aliens" was quickly killed off, in the first moments actually, save for Sigourney Weaver. My god, James Cameron had so much respect for his source material he even saved the life of the original's fucking cat. No similar respect here, nor interest in a compelling story, and what we were left with was an overextended merry-go-round chase between the alien and her unlucky prey. Shark? Jumped. The malodorous "Resurrection" would follow, as would a bout with a Predator, and then a lethargic if not picturesque origin story from Ridley himself. But we must remember it was Fincher who delivered the fatal blow upon a franchise brimming with life and action. (Photo Credit: 20th Century-Fox/Photofest)

1. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (1999)
Movies, Sequels
Way over a decade before, Prince once sang that we'd "party like it's 1999." If he knew what was to be released in theaters that year, he may have changed his tune. Film history's darkest hour, worse than any Imperial invasion, and perhaps the very flashpoint for civilization's decline over the last 15 years.

Oh, "New Hope." You brought the thrill of popcorn movie action lightyear's ahead of anything we'd ever seen before. The characters you introduced to us, particularly those fighting within the Rebel Alliance, instantly became like family. Ones we'd have seats for at any of our holiday tables if they didn't exist such a long, long time ago in such a far, far off locale. "Empire" and "Return" followed and over the course of that trilogy, with darkness always trailing behind, we, even mere audience members, were finally victorious and left feeling like Jedi.

To call "Phantom Menace" a travesty does disservice to all the travesties that came before and after. George Lucas made this film for his ego, his estate, and the shelves of Toys 'R Us. His loyal fanbase meant nothing and he spent $115 million of a production budget to give us nothing. The most agonizing of our shark jumps, the films that followed were equally godawful, and left us wondering if three wrongs cancel out three rights. All we know is Jar Jar Binks never entered our action figure collection, and for this we are tearfully thankful.

Episodes VII, VIII, and IX are all on their way. We'd like to be hopeful. We need to be hopeful. But knowing what J.J. Abrams did to water down the once flavorful "Star Trek" franchise, we're bracing ourselves for some more Death Star-sized disappointment. (Photo Credit: Lucasfilm Ltd./20th Century Fox/Photofest)

 

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The Most Bizarre Causes Of Death For Each State

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Have you ever been hanging out with your family on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and stop the festivities by posing this question to everyone: "Hey, does anyone know what's the most bizarre, most unusual cause of death for every state?" Good, me too. Check out the most bizarre, distinctive causes of death for each state below.

Maps, Diseases, Most Unusual Causes of Death
Some of the stand-outs include water, air and space deaths in Idaho, legal intervention deaths in New Mexico, and accidental discharge of firearms in Alabama. Although that one is oddly not surprising.

What is surprising is the lack of bizarreness coming from Florida.

Via Distractify

 

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Man Pissed About Overbooked Flight Strips Naked

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I think we can all agree that reserving a flight and actually getting on a plane is one of the most stressful things one can do, so it's hard to blame a guy who stripped naked after hearing a flight was overbooked.

News, Naked Man in Airport

The unidentified man was all set to board a flight to Jamaica to relax on the beach and leave his worries behind when he apparently received the worse news imaginable: the flight was overbooked. Then something odd happened, the man went through a Hulk-like transformation, but his shorts didn't conveniently stay on, he lost them. He lost everything and stripped naked.

News, Naked Man in Airport

Everyone at the Charlotte Douglas International Airport was presented with a show, and one viewer, Sherry Ketchie, explains what she saw:

"He had his clothes on, at that point, and then he started standing there with his arms crossed and hollering at the lady at the desk. He stood there for a moment and then started taking off his clothes. I ain't never seen nothing [like that] in my life."

"I was not expecting to see nothing like that, I've never seen nothing like that at Charlotte Douglas airport. Never," she said. "And that's when I got out my phone and started taking pictures," Ketchie says.

News, Naked Man in Airport

Because one picture that you want to show the family back home is a naked man strutting through the airport.

According to Ketchie, the man was naked for about an hour. The man will not be charge.

Via WBTV

 

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A Timeline of Every Trip to the Airport

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Taking a trip can be a life-changing experience. From meeting new people to indulging in new cultures to catching up with old friends, traveling is good for the mind, body and soul. Unfortunately, every vacation is preceded by a harrowing trip to the worst place on earth: the airport. Here's a timeline of that horrible journey.

trip to the airport

 

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Everything You Need To Know About Farts

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Fart Facts That Will Blow You Away

My mother always told me that going to college would pay off, and now it finally is because I get to share these videos with you lovely folks. You can now take all the facts you learned from the video above and impress your friends, your lover, or even your grandparents. Guess who's going to be the big shot at trivia night? You are.

 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week

The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Invasive Pelican Edition

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Yesterday we asked you to use our brand new meme generator to create some hilarious memes to unleash on the Internet. There were a lot of entries, but we managed to narrow it down to 15 winners. Congratulations to the winners below. You truly understand what the Internet is all about. And to those of you that lost...oh well, there's always next week's contest!


Submitted by: Josh


Submitted by: Sean

funny memes, funny pelicans, funny animals
Submitted by: Eric


Submitted by: Sean


Submitted by: Jason


Submitted by: Robert


Submitted by: Libby


Submitted by: Matt


Submitted by: Stephen


Submitted by: Matthew


Submitted by: Sam


Submitted by: Fran


Submitted by: Philip


Submitted by: Powerhaus


Submitted by: Nick

 

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