Model Reveals The True Meaning Behind Female Snapchats

June 18, 2015, 3:09 am

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Everyone is sending Snapchats nowadays, most involving random pictures that you think your friends want to see of you on vacation while rubbing it in their face at the same time. And of course, there are also a lot of nudes being sent back and forth. But a model has finally revealed what the Snapchats your lady friend is sending you truly mean.



Model Holly Carpenter, 23, from Dublin, put together a blog letting the world in on some female Snapchat secrets.

Holly told Buzzfeed she got the idea for the post while out with her girlfriends, hearing comments like: "I'm gonna story this selfie so he knows I'm out tonight and I'm looking well" and "I sent him a picture of my drink with the cocktail menu in the background so he knows where we are," but was surprised when her revealing post went viral.



"When I saw how many shares it was getting and how many people were tagging their friends, I knew it was relatable!"

Holly also reveals that even her own snaps have double meaning, which ensures that us men will never understand women and their Snapchat secret voodoo magic.

"If I'm having a good hair day and my makeup looks nice I'll find any random excuse to send a snap to someone I fancy, like pick up a random coffee mug and write 'mmm coffee' ... even though the mug is empty!" Holly explains.



Holly does have some advice for men when it comes to Snapchat, stating "If you like her and she sends you something like this ... be sound and do not screenshot! Once you break the screenshot trust, there's no going back ... But if she snaps you when she's drunk, it is a good sign!"



Women aren't the only ones that mess with the opposite sex on Snapchat, as Holly believes men do the same: "A guy recently sent me a photo of his sunburn on his arm saying 'farmer's tan,' but of course he was completely flexing his muscles and that's what he wanted me to look at!"

Our cover is blown.



Via Holly Carpenter Blog

 

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This Ear Wax Removal Video Is The Grossest Thing You Will Ever See

June 18, 2015, 3:37 am

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For the love of everything that is holy, please keep your ears clean before they become blocked by some gigantic, awful ball of wax that will prevent you from hearing, and prevent everyone else from keeping their food down.

 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week

June 18, 2015, 3:50 am

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The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Puppy Interview Edition

June 18, 2015, 4:15 am

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Yesterday we asked you to use our brand new meme generator to create some hilarious memes to unleash on the Internet. There were a lot of entries, but we managed to narrow it down to 15 winners. Congratulations to the winners below. You truly understand what the Internet is all about. And to those of you that lost...oh well, there's always next week's contest!

Speaking of which, if you'd like to get a head start, you can find next week's meme right here.


Submitted by: Lauren


Submitted by: Rhi


Submitted by: Steve


Submitted by: Dice


Submitted by: Bart


Submitted by: Billy


Submitted by: I like big waffles (we all do).


Submitted by: Bart


Submitted by: Bob


Submitted by: Duh


Submitted by: Philip


Submitted by: Cindy


Submitted by: Pat


Submitted by: Bart

 

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Paulina Gretzky Posts Instagram Bikini Photo 6 Months After Giving Birth

June 18, 2015, 4:32 am

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Paulina Gretzky isn't human. If she was, there's no way this photo would exist. The majority of normal, human women usually have to work their tail off to get back their body after giving birth. And even then, they never get to see the body they had before they were pregnant. Then there's Gretzky, who posted the picture below, taken just six months after giving birth.



Paulina, who happens to be the daughter of some hockey player named Wayne Gretzky or something, posted a picture on Instagram of her laying out in a tiny bathing suit a mere six months after popping out a kid.

I guess this is how Paulina likes to look when she drinks her green detox juice.

 

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The Official Summer Plans Translator

June 18, 2015, 5:50 am

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Everyone gets so excited for summer. It's finally warm and there are endless things to do, especially outdoors. But we both know that pretty much every single thing you tell people you're planning to do this summer won't actually happen. So, let's take a look at a few of those things and see how your summer will really turn out.

 

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Pissed Boyfriend Cuts Everything He Owned With Girlfriend In Half

June 18, 2015, 7:41 am

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Relationships are hard work, and dealing with a breakup may be even tougher, but one man found a logical way to deal with him losing his other half: cut everything they owned together in half.



A German man took to ebay to post some of his half items that he personally redesigned after he and his girlfriend split up, with the other half of course going to his now ex-girlfriend. Well, at least he was kind enough to split everything down the middle.



Other items that this saw-happy German cut up include a laptop, a bike, an iPhone, a teddy bear, and even a bed. The jilted man even posted video evidence of the massacre, with the caption "Thank you for 12 beautiful years, Laura!!!!! You've really earned half."



Sure, this isn't the most mature way to handle a breakup, but it seems everyone has their own way of dealing with anger or sadness. This man just happens to vent using power tools. Take a look at some of his other masterpieces below.







And here's the very pissed guy behind the sawing, sporting half a motorcycle helmet from his new 'Half-Ass' fall line.



Watch all the destruction below!



Via Daily Mail

 

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Rebecca Van Cleave Showed Her Cleavage as Lena Headey's Body Double

June 18, 2015, 10:56 am

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For those of you who watched the awesome season finale of "Game of Thrones" and thought you saw hottie Lena Headey in the nude, you might be surprised to learn she had a body-double. Yep, it was newcomer Rebecca Van Cleave, who is a British-American actress who earned an imdb credit as "naked Cersei." Rebecca's had parts on the BBC, and in the E! series "The Royals," but it's "Game of Thrones" that has put her on the Hollywood map. Basically, some digital magic placed Lena's head on Rebecca's body. (Lena chose not to go nude for "several reasons.") Said Rebecca, "It was one of the scariest, most wonderful, most gratifying experiences I could have imagined."

Over 1,000 actresses applied for the role. Even more incredible, Rebecca Van Cleave had never performed nude before. She said, "It's such an emotional experience for Cersei, you almost check out of the fact that you're nude. You're so in touch with the scene and what you're going for."

Apparently, Van Cleave's performance was top secret - most of her friends and family didn't even know - and it would've stayed that way until she was outed by the British press. Maybe it's for the best. Check out a few shots of Rebecca Van Cleave fully clothed, and put a face to her performance. As she said, "I hope the next thing I do will have my head in it!" We couldn't agree more.








h/t Entertainment Weekly

 

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Today's Funny Photos

June 19, 2015, 12:29 am

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The weekend is here. So screw work, let's TGIF it up with some funny photos. See you on the other side.







Click here for more funny photos.









Click here for the best celebrity butts on the beach.




Click here for more funny photos.

 

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Female Armpit Hair Is Becoming Quite Popular

June 19, 2015, 12:44 am

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According to the New York Post, female armpit hair is "getting its moment," with women on Instagram showing off their hairy underarms and celebs on the red carpet flaunting it as well. Here's a photo that illustrates both:


That's Instagram user and 30-year-old mom Katherine Anne True on the left, and "Girls" actress Jemima Kirke on the right. Both of them are rocking some serious pit hair. Other celebs who have joined in on this movement include Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga and of course Madonna, who famously posted a "Long hair.... Don't Care!!!!" picture on Instagram last year showing off her hairiness (which you can see below).

Like it or not, this trend is picking up steam, with more and more women proudly posting their no-shave photos on social media. According to beauty site Refinery29 editor Maria Del Russo, the statement they're all making is this: "What one woman decides to do with her body hair is her business, and hers alone. For plenty of women, it's just hair."

Here are some more of these women (including Madonna):













Photos via Instagram

 

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The 10 Longest Boners Ever And The Stories Behind Them

June 19, 2015, 12:54 am

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The penis is a fickle organ. One must take good care of it to keep it in tip-top shape. While males may not have to deal with periods or the occasional infection, we live in constant fear of it breaking. Thousands of erections reach the ER every year. These are their stories.

Doctors Remove Colombian Man's Penis After Viagra Overdose

In 2013, Gentil Ramirez Polania walked into a hospital with an inflamed, fractured, gangrenous penis. Ironically this took place in the Colombian town of Gigante. The 66-year-old wanted to impress his new girlfriend with his stamina.

Doctors had to amputate his penis to stop the gangrene from spreading. "I had bruises all over my genitals," Polania said, and will now be unable to impress anyone." His boner lasted three days.

A Stiff Seven Weeks

Last January an Irishman had a mountain biking accident and resultantly boasted an erection for 35 days. The 22-year-old entered a Dublin hospital and underwent treatment. Priapism, as the condition is called, involves a stiffy that won't quit, filling up with blood to "full tumescence" without the ability to drain.

Doctors placed a gel foam and four tiny platinum coils at the connection of an abnormal artery and vein connection. Everything turned out okay. Except now he has gel foam and four tiny platinum coils in his penis.

Man Sues Prison Doctors for Failing to Treat His Six-Day Boner

An Inmate in the Manhattan Detention Complex cried in his solitary cell one night when he realized he may have an erection forever. T'was painful, and it was going on six days. Antidepressant Risperdal was the apparent culprit.

Rodney Cotton went to the doctors twice, and they prescribed him an icepack and Tylenol. Not the right prescription. They failed to send him to the hospital for treatment. After too much time in a priapism state, Cotton's penis required surgery and was subsequently rendered impotent.

"I have to readjust myself because I'm not even whole."

Cotton is currently suing the detention facility. As he should.

The Legend of Sergey Tuganov

"He died hard." "He came as he went." Make your jokes Internet, but the fact remains Sergey Tuganov died a hero. The 28-year-old Russian guzzled a bottle of Viagra in hopes to win a bet.

Yes, two sexy Ruskies bet him $4,300 that he couldn't satisfy them for 12 hours. Tuganov took the bet, and won. He had a heart attack directly after. "We called emergency services but it was too late, there was nothing they could do," one of his paramours said.

This article is dedicated to you, ol' champ.

Man Has Erection for Eight Months

Eight months.

A New Jersey trucker by the name of Daniel Metzgar wanted to make his wife, Donna, happy. So he went to the doc to get a penile implant.

The doctor did a bad job. He had an erection for eight months. Metzgar claimed his scrotum grew to the size of a volleyball. In 2013, he sued the doctor who gave him the botched implant.

Eight months.

21 Days of Hell

In 2010, a 21-day boner nearly killed a man in Kolkata, India. Like so many others, he had priapism. An overdose of Viagra caused the blood to clot in his penis and he suffered for three weeks.

"We drained the blood and relieved him," said the lucky doctor who performed the operation. The 55-year-old, whose identify is concealed, is now in stable condition. And so is his penis.

Screw Gender Norms! Let's Talk About Lady Boners

Cara Anaya, 30, mother of one, suffers from persistent genital arousal disorder. Watch her O-face here. But don't laugh, please. This is serious.

It all started one day while she was grocery shopping. As Buzzfeed reported in 2014, "She suddenly found that everything she saw, smelt, or touched turned her on."

"When you are around children you feel like a pervert because you have all these really strong feelings rushing through your body at the same time, Anaya stated.

"The one day that I decided to count how many orgasms I had in one sitting, I counted 180 in two hours."

Doctors Drain Three Pints of Blood From Man's Penis After 17-Hour Erection

You heard me. Three pints. Respect to Jason Garnett, a 23-year-old hotel worker in England.

One night last October Mr. Garnett was drinking heavily and bedded a lady friend. He woke up the next morning with an erection. Normal. But things got weird. It wouldn't go away. Hours later after trying an icepack, a warm bath, and running around the block with his penis "tucked in his belt," Garnett rushed to the hospital.

Priapism. Even the word makes me shudder.

His 17-hour hammer subsided after they drained it and injected it 24 times. According to Daily Mail, Garnett had a sense of humor about the whole thing. (Check out the pictures. They're hilarious.)

A Two-Year Erection Leads to a Lawsuit

In 2012, San Francisco resident Henry Wolf sued BMW for their "rigid" motorbike seats. For 20 months Wolf could barely pee, walk around, or engage in sexual activity due to a two-year rod.

The 52-year-old sought $25,000 in damages because of "emotional and mental anguish." No public information has been released on the success of his lawsuit.

And We Have a Winner: 10 Years

Charles Lennon was a simple man with a dream of correcting his erectile dysfunction. In 1996, he underwent a procedure involving injecting plastic and steel into his penis. The Dual-II procedure would allow it to go upward for sex and downward when necessary.

But things would get hard.

A decade. 520 weeks. 3,640 days. Lennon, 68, pursued a lawsuit after his boner wouldn't die for an eternity. Sadly, Viagra would come out only two years after that fateful day in '96.

According to NBC News, he could "no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment." In the end, Lennon received $400,000 after successfully suing the manufacturers of the Dura-II.

Count your blessings.

 

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A Gallery of Superheroes Being Super A-Holes

June 19, 2015, 1:50 am

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The ability to deliver awesome zingers while cleaning a villain's clock is Superhero 101. After all, what's the point of taking down the baddies without showing off your mad bantering skills? With both "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" and "Captain America: Civil War" right around the corner, however, we've realized that what the people really want to see is superheroes taking each other on. So in the spirit of all things super v super, we decided to round up some of the funniest comics and memes from around the Web featuring heroes being total a-holes to each other, and in some cases, even the very people they're sworn to protect. Because when it comes to the good guys taking on the good guys, there are no real winners (besides us spectators, of course).

Batman v Superman


Superman v Batman


Iron Man v Superman


Ant-Man v Batman


Flash v Justice League


Avengers v Black Widow


Storm


Justice League v Aquaman


Aquaman


Spider-Man v Batman


Batman v Spider-Man


Thor v Spider-Man


Batman v Superman 2


Batman v Superman & Flash


Justice League v Superman


Avengers v Batman


Namor v Mr. Fantastic


Superman v Spider-Man


The Thing


Robin v Batman


Batman v Robin


Thor (or Vision?) v Iron Man


Wonder Woman v Superman


Batman & Superman v Catwoman


Batman v Superman 3

 

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13 Robots That Would Get Totally Destroyed On 'BattleBots'

June 19, 2015, 2:30 am

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Now that "BattleBots" is returning to television for Father's Day (check it out June 21 on ABC at 9|8c), we thought we would help you guys out by showing how not to build a robot you intend on competing on "BattleBots." Because we here at Mandatory love our robotics. Check out some of the robots that would get the circuits beat out of them. Follow "BattleBots" on Twitter, too.



























If all else fails just get a cat to direct your battling robot.

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

June 19, 2015, 2:50 am

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Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them yourself. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.

this one has claws This one swims but can't fly This one is huge & runs funny This one bangs his head against trees - god making birds

- Brian Doyle (@WritePlay) January 18, 2015

me: I am open to criticism person: okay! So, I think- me: you are rude and bad

- audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) June 10, 2015

*at mcdonald's* ME: and one of the happy meal toys CASHIER: for a little boy or girl? ME: *sweating* ME: ... ME: ... ME: yes of course it is

- lil jon lovitz (@nbadag) January 12, 2015

I once dated a girl for 2 months because she had a trampoline

- Cool Eric (@OBiiieeee) August 1, 2014

[First date] Girl: "My eyes are up here." Me: "I know but look at the pattern on this carpet. It's lovely."

- Stephen Molloy (@stephenjmolloy) June 2, 2015

The prequel is called "Black Is The Current Black"

- Poorly Drawn Turtle (@NoTheOtherJohn) June 11, 2015

I don't know anyone that makes enough money to say "affordable healthcare" without lying.

- Elizabeth is Ruined (@Elizasoul80) June 12, 2015

I bet there's an aquarium on a submarine somewhere and the fish are all, "You gotta be fucking kidding me."

- Jason Miller (@longwall26) May 9, 2015

As you leave a courtroom after being convicted of a crime, I suggest turning to the jury and saying, "Well excuse me for being myself"

- Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) June 13, 2015

The roof of your mouth isn't actually a roof, it's a ceiling. Your mouth's roof is technically the top of your head.

- John F. Brennan (@UpturnedBathtub) June 13, 2015

[God creating me] And then we sprinkle in just a touch of anxiety [the lid pops off and the whole jar spills in] [God shrugs] He'll be fine

- Dan O'Brien (@OtherDanOBrien) June 8, 2015

Keep turning and turning and turning in bed until a cocoon begins to form around your tired body and you hear David Attenborough's voice.

- doll butts (@findmydolls) May 28, 2015

My nickname in high school was "the dishes" cuz no one wanted to do me

- Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) June 11, 2015

Sex Ed did not mention how much apologizing there would be.

- ghost mom (@radtoria) January 18, 2015

I've just always assumed that ironing boards were surfboards that gave up on their dreams and got real jobs.

- Jerm Himselfish (@JermHimselfish) June 9, 2015

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! This Isn't Ham? You're Shitting Me Come On, That's Got To Be Milk If This Isn't Pudding, I Will Fight You

- Trigarrettops (@Garrodactyl) May 27, 2015

HEAD OF THE NATIONAL WEATHER SEVICE: so how will we name all these hurricanes? GARY, WHOS BEEN DIVORCED 31 TIMES: i have an idea

- very nice kyle (@hippieswordfish) April 10, 2015

[pharmacy] I recommend these allergy pills, I use them on my son "Ok, I'll take a bottle" Would you like childproof? "No, I believe you"

- Terry F (@daemonic3) June 14, 2015

Me: is my heart healthy enough for sex? Dr: are you hitting on me? Me: no, I saw this commercial.. Dr: I have a boyfriend

- Steve Suckington (@SteveSuckington) June 14, 2015

[looks in the mirror] And who is this attractive creature? [takes a picture] Oh cool, a wildebeest.

- molls (@MollySneed) June 4, 2015

More very funny tweets can be found right here.

 

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Raccoon Gets Drunk After Sneaking Into Alcohol Warehouse

June 19, 2015, 2:59 am

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Sneaking into a place where an abundance of alcohol resides and getting drunk for free seems like a fantasy college students aim to fulfill, but a lucky raccoon fulfilled it before them as it sneaked into an alcohol warehouse, and stumbled...and staggered...and fell...and stumbled out of the warehouse again.

 

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Check Out The Worst Soccer Kick Attempt In History

June 19, 2015, 3:17 am

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It's one thing to try to kick a soccer ball and miss it completely. But there is something completely demoralizing and depressing about seeing an out of shape man attempting to kick a soccer ball, not coming close, and instead falling over on top of the ball, flattening it, and killing his kid's hope of playing soccer the rest of the day. (And perhaps the rest of his life.)

Unbelievable tekkers! https://t.co/QTyy7JvWQ2

- TheSPORTbible (@TSBible) June 18, 2015

Via Bar Stool Sports

 

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This Is What A Serious Casting Call For A Penis Flasher On "Game Of Thrones" Looks Like

June 19, 2015, 3:38 am

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Are you an actor? Do you have dreams of making it to the big screen? How about the small screen? Would you like to be a part of one of the most popular shows on television? Great! All you need to do is show your junk in front of hundreds of people during a major scene of the "Game of Thrones" season finale.



Via Uproxx

 

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Woman Posted Selfies While Police Looked For Her For Tire Iron Attack

June 19, 2015, 4:29 am

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Even while police looked for her, a woman had enough time and guts to post a few selfies to satisfy her fans and followers.



27-year-old Gloribel Serrano from the Bronx had no problem keeping up with her social media accounts while police sought to arrest her for beating another woman with a tire iron. Which I guess is what people in New York do with a tire iron since we don't know how to change a tire to begin with.

Aside from posting selfies, Gloribel of course had to play by Instagram rules and post pictures of her meals as well as motivational quotes, because if you're looking to get motivated, just listen to someone who enjoys using a tire iron to beat people.



Gloribel eventually turned herself in and now faces assault charges. Gloribel has continued to use her social media accounts, writing "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off," with the hashtag #fact.

Gloribel is being accused of beating Margarita Garcia with a tire iron on Bedford Park Blvd after threatening to kill her.

I think the scariest part of this all for Gloribel will be when she discovers that there is no wi-fi in prison. Now that's a punishment that fits the crime.

Via NY Daily News

 

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Dogs Being Dopes Compilation

June 19, 2015, 5:50 am

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Unlike cats, who are mostly sophisticated creatures who will quietly hate you from the window sill, dogs are an interesting, fascinating bunch that just happen to do dumb stuff once in a while, but we still find them endearing. The same can't be said for dumb humans. Check out the compilation below to see dogs being dopes.



Via Tastefully Offensive

 

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Guy Loses Nose In Stupid Sword Stunt, Posts Totally Disgusting and NSFW Photo Of Aftermath

June 22, 2015, 2:15 am

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I guess we have to say it again: if you are going to consume any type of alcohol, please don't handle weapons or you'll end up like the guy above, or even like this guy. And if you're still not listening, and you have a strong stomach, check out the aftermath of the stunt above.

At your own risk...

It's very disgusting and you will probably lose the bagel you ate this morning...

You asked for it...

Wait, seriously, you sure you still want to see this?

Ok...

Fine...

Here it is...

(Get a barf bag ready)

 

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