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This Photo Offers Definitive Proof of Why You Should Never Text and Walk

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We all know the dangers of texting and driving, but the girl below proves it's also dangerous to text and walk.

News, Girl's Leg Is Trapped In Drain, Texing And Walking

The incident, which occurred in Mianyang City in southwest China's Sichuan Province, began when a skinny girl was texting and walking, and completely missed the storm drain nearby. The girl's leg went straight through the drain, getting trapped.

Jun Niu, who took pictures of the girl in all her shame, said: "She was more embarrassed than anything else, she covered her face up with her hands when people were gathered around and it was clear she didn't want to be there."

Storm drain girl should have live-tweeted this whole event. Or at least blame the friend she was texting.

"She was incredibly thin though, I reckon normally nobody would be able to able to get their foot down there but the bars were a bit bent so I guess that was why it happened," Niu added.

After spending 45 minutes trapped in the storm drain, the fire department was able to free the girl. She only suffered a bruise and some scratches and did not need hospital treatment.

The only solution here is just like bike lanes, texting lanes should be created as well.

Via Daily Star

 

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A Naughty Gallery of Highly Inappropriate Playground Equipment

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Much like your everyday trees, a seemingly innocent children's playground can be far more unnerving upon a second glance. You'd think as a parent your biggest concern regarding the equipment your kids play on would be safety. While you'd be absolutely correct, another surefire way to keep from scarring them for life would be to always watch out for anything resembling a gaping butthole, giant penis and even a full-on human centipede-type scenario, as they're surprisingly prominent features when it comes to poorly designed jungle gyms and inflatable playhouses. Don't believe us? Check out the following gallery of playgrounds gone wrong and see for yourself. Just don't say we didn't warn you in the most hilarious way possible.

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment



inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment

inappropriate playground equipment



inappropriate playground equipment

 

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We Can't Decide If These Movie and TV Porn Parody Titles Are The Worst Or The Best

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Everyone knows that the most creative people reside in a marketing meeting at some porn company, which is why the greatest minds team up to create the best porn parodies of movies and TV shows. Check out some of the best parodies below, and feel free to make a mental note of them next time you want to have a viewing party by yourself.

Funny, Porn Parodies
I just hope they hook up with each other before they are killed.

Funny, Porn Parodies
Maybe her head spinning around could come in handy.

Funny, Porn Parodies
That "Boner" trucker hat wasn't as big of a seller as originally thought.

Funny, Porn Parodies
For those interested in what a Dwight, Jim and Pam threesome would look like.

Funny, Porn Parodies
This was the the paycheck everyone but Will Smith needed. Missed opportunity.

Funny, Porn Parodies
So this is the reboot Fox was talking about.

Funny, Porn Parodies
Maybe I won't fall asleep during this one.

Funny, Porn Parodies
I wonder if this is what Paul Reubens was watching when he was caught in that theatre.

Funny, Porn Parodies
The vampires are happy to see her in this version.

Funny, Porn Parodies
I'm curious to see how the gangs are portrayed in this one.

Funny, Porn Parodies
The last 15 seasons have been rough, maybe this is just what they need.

Funny, Porn Parodies
That's either a sponge or a piece of cheese.

Funny, Porn Parodies
I'm just glad Antonio Banderas has work when he's not voicing a cat.

Funny, Porn Parodies
It's the sequel we deserve, but not the one we need right now.

Via Izismile

 

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Here's How Much Money Your Favorite Game Show Hosts Make

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If you can read off a card, smile, play up a crowd and pretend to be rooting for contestants, you too can be a game show host. And you might change your career path after learning what some game show hosts are making. Come on down and see some of their figures, and try not to collapse into your bills while sobbing.

Pat Sajak
Game Show Hosts Income, Rich Game Show Hosts
Salary: $12 million.
Good old Pat makes $12 million a year by watching a bunch of eager word lovers spin a wheel, and then quietly hoping they land on bankrupt to punish them for not buying enough vowels.

Vanna White
Game Show Hosts Income, Rich Game Show Hosts
Salary: $8 million
Not to be outdone, Pat's lady, Vanna, reels in a nice $8 million a year for doing the extremely difficult job of flipping over letters and cursing out Pat through her teeth.

Steve Harvey
Game Show Hosts Income, Rich Game Show Hosts
Salary: $12 million
Steve actually deserves the $12 million a year he makes on "Family Feud" since he has to deal with people like this and like this. Steve might be a few answers like that away from a stroke.

Richard Dawson
Game Show Hosts Income, Rich Game Show Hosts
Salary: $2 million
Richard was hosting "Family Feud" in the '80s before Steve Harvey was mentally breaking down, and that is still a lot of money, especially since it was the '80s and families were still pretending to like each other.

Howie Mandel
Game Show Hosts Income, Rich Game Show Hosts
Salary: $14 million
Sure, the man will never shake your hand for fear of dying from your disgusting germs, but his talents included asking people if they had a deal or not. And that's worth $14 million. Thanks America.

Regis Philbin
Game Show Hosts Income, Rich Game Show Hosts
Salary: $20 million
"Who Wants to be a Millionaire" was a massive success in its heyday, and not having Regis yell-talk random things at us as much was also a huge success. And for that, Regis made a $20 million a year, still the highest paid game show host ever.

Alex Trebek
Game Show Hosts Income, Rich Game Show Hosts
Salary: $10 million
Alex has been hosting "Jeopardy" for as long as we've been trying to figure out how to properly answer a question, and his quiet demeanor only proves that he's calling everyone an "idiot" in his head.

Bob Barker
Game Show Hosts Income, Rich Game Show Hosts
Salary: $10 million
We all watched Bob Barker struggle to stay alive while forcing contestants to bid on watches and hammocks, but hey, he kept us company while we stayed home sick from school. So for that, he's worth his $10 million.

Drew Carey
Game Show Hosts Income, Rich Game Show Hosts
Salary: $8.5 million
Skinny Drew had the tough task of replacing Bob on "The Price is Right," and he's done a nice job, but unlike Bob, I don't see Drew wanting to host the show when he's 90 and fighting off death.

Chuck Woolery
Game Show Hosts Income, Rich Game Show Hosts
Salary: $65,000
As the original host of "Wheel of Fortune," poor Chuck wanted a raise, but the network decided to instead replace him with Pat Sajak, who is now making millions. Well, he will always have his "Love Connection" reruns.

Via The Chive

 

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Miley Cyrus' New Girlfriend Stella Maxwell Has A Hot (And NSFW) Instagram

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After being seen leaving a hotel together, the Internet has been drooling at the possibility Miley Cyrus is dating model Stella Maxwell. So where do you meet hot models these days? Well, Miley apparently met Stella on Instagram, and Stella's Instagram is one that you may want to go through a few times...but remember, be cautious if you're at work, pretending to work, scrolling through these pictures very slowly...

A photo posted by Stella! (@stellamaxwell) on



A photo posted by Stella! (@stellamaxwell) on



A photo posted by Stella! (@stellamaxwell) on



A photo posted by Stella! (@stellamaxwell) on



A photo posted by Stella! (@stellamaxwell) on



A photo posted by Stella! (@stellamaxwell) on


A photo posted by Stella! (@stellamaxwell) on


Via FHM

 

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21 Hilarious Tweets On Why You Should Probably Skip Working Out Today

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Nobody really wants to go to the gym, but if we didn't we'd all look like greasy ogres. That should be enough motivation to get your running shoes on and hit the gym, but somehow it's not. If you need yet another reason to skip leg day at the gym, here are 21 really funny tweets from some hilarious people on why you should just stay in and order delivery pizza.

 

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Married Female Teacher Accused Of Giving 15-Year-Old Girl Oral Sex

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Yep, another teacher has been accused of having a sexual relationship with a student as this time it involves a married female teacher going down on a student.

News, Teacher Gives Student Oral Sex

Lauren Mitchell, a second grade teacher at Dr. Lena Edwards Academic Charter School in Jersey City, is being accused of giving oral sex to a 15-year-old female student. According to a press release from the Bergen County prosecutor's office:

"Several teachers at the Dr. Lena Edwards Academic Charter School observed what they believed was inappropriate interactions between the victim and the Ms. Mitchell on a class trip reported their observations to school authorities."

A police investigation revealed that Ms. Mitchell had been involved in sexual activity with at least one 15-year-old female student, and that the two performed oral sex on each other. Ms. Mitchell was arrested and charged with one count of Aggravated Sexual Assault and one count of Endangering the Welfare of a Child.

Ms. Mitchell might be in jail a while as her bail has been set at $150,000.

Can teachers please go back to teaching and dealing with horrible, spoiled students for an awfully low salary and stop hooking up with them? That would be ideal.

Via The Daily Mail

 

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Holly Madison Says Hugh Hefner Used to Get High Before Masturbating in Front of Her

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Man, Hef gets to do everything.

According to Cosmopolitan, Holly Madison revealed some rather nasty things about her ex-boyfriend Hugh Hefner in her recent memoir titled "Down the Rabbit Hole."

Holly Madison dishes out the worst of Hugh Hefner in new book

Among other things, Madison said the Playboy founder used to "watch porn, smoke pot, and jerk off while his girlfriends and whoever else happened to be joining them that night pretended to get it on around him."

Madison acknowledged that all of his girlfriends would take turns taking Hef to pound town, but he "always finished by himself."

Perhaps even crazier than that was Madison's claim that Hef used to make one of his girlfriends sleep in the same room as his two sons who were just nine and 10 years old at the time.

"Though they never stayed over when I was there," she wrote, "there were still toys scattered across the bedroom floor, which made for an incredibly odd and, frankly, creepy juxtaposition."

Well, when you hear both of those accusations first, the one about all girlfriends being expected to be in by nine o'clock so they could participate in "Hef's bizarre bedtime group sex ritual" really doesn't seem that bad.

Especially if you're Hef.

Ronald Reagan's daughter once showed her jugs in Hef's magazine: 20 Women You May Not Have Known Posed for Playboy

 

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Watch This Idiot Jump Onto The Back Of A Moose

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The next time some innocent old-timer gets attacked by a moose while hiking in the British Colombia wilderness, he's probably going to pick himself up and ask, "What in the hell did I do?"

You did nothing, sir. Odds are it was just payback for what this ass clown pulled off last weekend, which according to the group who uploaded this video to YouTube, could lead to harassing wildlife charges if the Conservation Officer service ever catches up to him.



There are a lot of crazy things going on there, but perhaps the craziest part of the video is that this guy has friends and a boat.

via UPI

We have plenty of idiots in America, too: Absolute Moron Puts Glow Stick in Microwave and It Explodes in His Face

 

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Fox News Anchor Hits Army Drummer With Poorly Thrown Axe

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And the band played on.

According to Perez Hilton, a "Fox & Friends" news host's recent attempt to celebrate Flag Day by throwing a double-sided axe as the show cut to commercial didn't go so well, as it completely missed his target and hit an army staff sergeant who happened to be drumming behind it instead.



Jeff Prosperie is a World Snare Drum Champion and member of the famed Hellcats of West Point, but because of news anchor Pete Hegseth's piss poor aim, that "is" damn near became "was."

Prosperie said the impact of the axe luckily only caused a few cuts near his elbow and wrist, but he knows it could have been much worse.

"Poor decision, obvious negligence, should have happened, could have been avoided," Prosperie said. "When shooting or throwing, always know what is behind your target. Basic safety rule. I'm feeling blessed on Father's Day with my five children, alive and with all limbs."

The good news for Prosperie is that even if the worst would have happened, he still could have been the drummer for a Def Leppard cover band.

More award-worthy journalism from Fox News: Watch This Bag Get 'Smuggled' Over Prison Wall on Live TV

 

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Today's Funny Photos

12 Smashing New Summer Singles

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As excited as we are to announce new music from Savage Garden, we feel it more important to hit you with this summer's smashing new set of singles. From old fashioned rockers to the new age of electronic music and a side of hip hop (with a pinch of Taylor Swift), check out these 12 hot new singles, here just in the nick of time to go with your summer sunshine. (Note: Click on song titles for Spotify track links.)

Florence + The Machine - "Ship to Wreck"

The second single from number-one ranking record, "How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful" marks the chart crushing return of Florence and her very lovely musical machine. "Ship to Wreck" is the moving, grooving sea song that'll have you by the ear. The beautiful Florence Welch is poignant in both lyric and vocal as she sings us up the road trip song of the summer. Just put back the top, flash your knockers - yes, guys too - and sing like a bunch of Sallys because the dog days of summer are here once again.

Tame Impala - "Eventually"
The Aussie quintet is pushing its fourth single from "Currents," their anticipated album to follow their award-winning 2012 record, "Lonerism." Between new music and summer festivals, it seems it's safe to say the boys are back.

Twenty One Pilots - "Tear in My Heart"

From the American alternative hip hop duo comes this catchy, exuberant pop tune from their fourth studio album "Blurryface," released last month. The upbeat percussion will have you tapping your foot as the song changes cadence a few times. It will leave you singing along and cursing your government, both of which are good things.

Third Eye Blind - "Everything Is Easy"
Remember these guys? Well, half of the original Third Eye Blind squad is back with their newest single from "Dopamine," their first album in over six years. The song borders along the lines of the Cure meets and late pop punk sound. Lead singer, Stephen Jenkins, has been promising us new music for awhile, and he's finally delivered with his fifth studio album.

Brandon Flowers - "I Can Change"
Branching off from The Killers for a second time, Brandon Flowers is finding his footing with his sophomore solo piece "The Desired Effect." His fourth single is a catchy progressive track "I Can Change," following other new singles, "Still Want You" and "Can't Deny My Love." Enjoy the quiet storm that is Brandon Flowers sans his killer friends.

Taylor Swift - "Bad Blood" (feat. Kendrick Lamar)

Even nine months after her fifth studio release, "1989," Taylor is still cranking out the singles, including this mid-May release featuring Kendrick Lamar, "Bad Blood." Miss Swift is looking sexy as ever, and the music of "1989" is a big step forward from her three-chord soft pop albums. Lamar is also releasing his fourth single "Alright" from his third record "To Pimp a Butterfly" on June 30.

Incubus - "Dance Like You're Dumb"
The second single from the California rockers' four-song EP "Trust Fall Side A," which implies a "Side B" to come later this year, is a return to their older, heavier sound with the newer, matured lyrical offering of pink Boba Fetts and gospel-esque harmonies. The band is on the road with Deftones this summer, and this unique song from a band you thought you had pegged down is a proper way to set it off.

Avicii - "Waiting for Love"
The Swedish prince of DJs floored us with his 2013 hit "Wake Me Up," and now he's got a new summer single "Waiting for Love" from his new album, "Stories." Avicii's latest electronic offering debuted live at Miami's Ultra Music Festival and is now available for digital download.

Zedd - "Beautiful Now" (feat. Jon Bellion)
Let's mix it up with the impressive electronic music of Zedd and his latest and second single from the album "True Colors." Young Anton has dropped the poolside hit that'll have all the ladies' tots a'bouncing, along with another released hit, "Addicted to a Memory," featuring Bahar. Not bad for a Russian-German mix master.

Muse - "Mercy"

Veteran rockers, Muse, keep coming back with strong hits and this, their second single from their June bloom, "Drones," is a clear continuation of their 20-plus years as a band. "Mercy" is a majestic anthem with the same balls and swagger of the Muse we already love but with a fresh taste of modern youth in its musical air for a group of late thirties gentlemen.

Of Monsters and Men - "Empire"
The poppy folks of indie band Of Monsters and Men dropped the third single from their album "Beneath the Skin" in mid May, an upbeat folky sing-along that makes Mumford and Sons sound like a bunch of whiny babies. The band also released their fourth single, "Hunger" with the female vocals of Nanna Bryndís Hilmarsdóttir leading the entire way.

Senses Fail - "The Importance of the Moment of Death"
The band dropped their anticipated lead single from the ensuing summer release of "Pull the Thorns From Your Heart," Senses Fail's sixth studio record. This will be the heavy rockers' first release under their new label, Pure Noise Records. That's a fitting label name, however good noise.

 

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Guy Wakes Up With Bike Lock Stuck On Neck After A Night Of Drinking

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One of the rules of drinking is if you're going to get trashed, make sure you have friends that won't put a bike lock around your neck and toss the keys.

News, Man Wakes Up With Bike Lock On Neck

An unnamed man in his twenties, from England, woke up after a long night of drinking to find that his wonderful friends had put a bike lock on him, and he was dragged by his mother to the fire station for help.

After working on the lock, firefighters realized that the lock wasn't coming off that easy, and so a technical rescue unit was called. If it takes a technical unit to remove a bike lock, perhaps that's the bike lock that New Yorkers need so that another bike is never stolen again.

Pete Drummond, the fire station's commander, tells BBC "We tried a cutter, but it just marked the lock. Then we tried a reinforced bar cutter, but it just dented it." Below you can see three grown men taking time off their busy lives to help a guy out of a bike lock.

News, Man Wakes Up With Bike Lock On Neck

Eventually the bike lock was removed using a circular saw. The man was unharmed, but now this will become a scene in a new "The Hangover" sequel because Hollywood likes to torture us sometimes.

Via Buzzfeed

 

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Sleeping Positions Can Actually Tell You How Your Relationship is Going

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Forget about couples therapy, the real truth behind your relationship lies in your sleeping positions. Or in what you both choose to watch on Netflix. But mainly your sleeping positions. Thanks to the hilarious people over at Sad and Useless, you can now check out the positions below to see how your relationship is going.

Funny Photos, What Sleeping Positions Say About Your Relationships

Funny Photos, What Sleeping Positions Say About Your Relationships

Funny Photos, What Sleeping Positions Say About Your Relationships

Funny Photos, What Sleeping Positions Say About Your Relationships

Funny Photos, What Sleeping Positions Say About Your Relationships

Funny Photos, What Sleeping Positions Say About Your Relationships

Funny Photos, What Sleeping Positions Say About Your Relationships

Funny Photos, What Sleeping Positions Say About Your Relationships

Funny Photos, What Sleeping Positions Say About Your Relationships

Funny Photos, What Sleeping Positions Say About Your Relationships

Via Sad & Useless

 

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16-Year-Old Russian Billionaire Paying Strangers To Flash Him, Posting Results On YouTube

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The majority of people that are born into money and never have to work for anything are usually pricks, and some kid named Grisha Mamurin is proving that to be a fact after posting humiliating videos of people doing degrading things for cash.

16 year old russian billionaire flashing

Grisha, the 16-year-old grandson of Russian billionaire Igor Nekludov, doesn't have to work, so he spends his days going around the neighborhood asking girls to flash him, kiss him, and asking other people to do awful thing for money, and some of them do.

The normal 16-year-old is worried about high school and dates, but Grisha is worried about making sure he has someone to drink his urine, which is exactly what he ask a guy in his latest video to do. That question results in Grisha getting punched in the face. Instant karma sure is fun.

News, Rich Kids Ask Girls To Flash Him

Eventually another man does take him up on his offer and drinks his urine for cash, so I'm glad Grisha is doing his part for the community.

Grisha mainly goes around being a creepy kid and asking girls to flash him and make out with him for money. "Can you show me your breasts for cash? It is not that hard you only need to pull up your shirt and show me your breasts," Grisha desperately ask girls.

I feel like this was Joe Francis as a teenager as well.

Grisha gives anyone that agrees to his tasks $120, which is less than his medical bill will be when a father overhears him ask his daughter the "will you show me your breasts" question. Now that's a video I would like to see.

Check out the video below to see Grisha in action, plus see him getting punched in the face. Feel free to watch that in a loop.



Via News.Au

 

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15 People That Seriously Need A Break From Life

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Life is rough, just ask these people, and while we try to power through in hopes of seeing the tide turn, sometimes there comes a moment that really forces us to wave the white flag. Here are some people that need a break from life.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
This is an art project that represents how we are consumed by our materialistic needs.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
I'm going to assume this was after a night of eating Taco Bell.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
This was after he tried to convince people that LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
At least the parachute did its job.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
For the love of God, someone return his wallet!

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
I wonder if his life flashed before his eyes.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
This is the first scene of a horror movie.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
Country Crock sure does make reliable containers. Hopefully Country Crock pays me for saying that.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
As if we needed another reason to hate golf.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
According to car commercials, this car is supposed to shoot out of the sand while Americana music plays in the back.



Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
I would be sobbing.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
Chinese finger trap.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
A stuntman's first day on the job.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
This guy just came to buy that car he found listed on Craigslist.

Funny Photos, People Having Awful Days
That curb represents reality.

Via FB-Troublemakers

 

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This Dog Ad On Craigslist Takes A Hilarious Turn

Dumb Guys Who Did Not Pick Up What Girls Were Putting Down (Sex)

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Yes, the majority of guys are oblivious when it comes to women, but you would think that when a woman gives off any signal at all about wanting to have sex, a guy would pick up on it. Wrong. Listen to the horror stories below about guys who just happened to miss the sign completely. (And are probably doomed to be forever alone.)

Funny, Guys Missing Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Who Missed Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Who Missed Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Who Missed Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Who Missed Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Who Missed Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Who Missed Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Who Missed Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Who Missed Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Missing Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Missing Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Missing Out On Sex

Funny, Guys Missing Out On Sex

Via Ebaum's World

 

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Cop Mocks Car Trunk Thief Before Busting Him

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Despite all the negativity out there about cops these days, the cop below is at least showing that some are still human and actually have a sense of humor. Watch this officer as he trolls a guy stealing out of the trunk of a car before immediately running him down to lock up.

 

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Today's Funny Photos

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