Kinky USC Students Can Now Sign Up For 'BDSM Club'

July 10, 2015, 5:34 am

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On second thought, I will go back and finish my last semester.

According to the Daily Trojan, USC offers their students more than 850 student-run clubs "with a wide range of interests such as athletics, culture, academics, art, politics and community service."

And kinky sex.


That's right. USC students now have the opportunity to sign up for the "BDSM Club," an official university organization dedicated to "helping kinky Trojans who want to learn about the BDSM alternative sexuality and encouraging them to practice safely."

The group meets on a bi-weekly basis, and they call their meetings "munches." Students are able to discuss "BDSM, kink and fetishes in a judgment-free safe space over snacks," and around seven to 10 students usually take part in the festivities.

There are also special events where students can partake in hands-on rope-tying workshops, and some have drawn as many as 60 students. More events such as spanking tutorials and first aid education are in the works, and the group plans on meeting with a similar organization at UCLA.

The deadline to sign up for admission to USC for the 2016 school year is January 15. In the meantime, I'm sure there's a section on Craigslist for this shit.

​You don't have to go to college to get kinky: Woman Arrested for Masturbating During 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

 

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12 Signs Your House is Definitely Haunted

July 10, 2015, 5:50 am

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Some horror clichés have become so common and overdone that, when they happen in scary movies, the characters should be like, "Oh yeah this is definitely a ghost because it's happened in every haunted house movie that's ever been made." If you're wondering if your home is being occupied by some sort of malevolent spirit, let's walk through all the horror stereotypes and see if you're about to experience your own paranormal activity.

1. You blame any loud sound on the wind.

Just to be clear, a scary sound in the middle of the night is NEVER the wind. We are all familiar with sounds the wind is capable of making, but people in horror movies could hear a wheel barrel full of cinder blocks being tossed down the stairs by a demon and they'd still blame it on the wind. If you hear a sound and anyone even suggests it was probably the wind, get out of there because you're about to get possessed.

2. There's fog in your yard

You never see a haunted camper or studio apartment. It's always a large, colonial home in a quiet neighborhood or isolated area. And there's always rolling fog slowly creeping across the yard. The moment that fog hits and the moonlight shines down, causing the tree branches to look like giant fingers clawing at your window, get out of there because your home is consumed by the devil himself.

3. You got your house for an insanely cheap price.

No haunted house ever sells for above market value. Apparently everyone except you will know that it's a breeding ground for evil spirits, so you'll just think you're getting a random multi-level home for the price of a trailer. You should always ask the dad if he knows any background on the house because legally the realtor has told him about the murders in 1996, but since he's out of a job he figured it was ok to hide the secret in order to keep his family afloat.

4. The dog keeps barking.

If your dog barks, it's definitely not because there's a raccoon rooting through your trash. He 100% sees the ghosts of the family that was murdered there. Before you even consider a home, walk the family dog up to the door. If he's reluctant to enter and requires you to drag him in, burn that house to the ground because your child is about to be eating by a ghost goblin.

5. There are news stories that come up when you Google your address.

Go look up your home address on the internet. Odds are the only thing that will come up is property values and maps. If there are any news stories whatsoever, you'd better believe it's about an unsolved murder or some sort of shenanigans involving the occult. Again, it's weird that you never noticed these things before you moved into the house, isn't it? I mean, you have to make an active choice to avoid the internet to have not looked up a single detail about your home, let alone a full fledged unsolved murder investigation.

6. You always look directly in the bathroom mirror as you close it.

I don't know anyone that stares straight ahead as they close their foggy bathroom mirror in order to make direct eye contact with themselves as soon as humanly possible. That's probably because everyone that does it in a movie immediately sees a quick glimpse of an undead spirit that vanishes as soon as you turn around. Are they magic mirrors that can see ghosts? Maybe they're like the opposite of vampires and can only be seen in a mirror, but not in real life? The best thing you can do is just avoid your mirror forever.

7. The power goes out when you're alone.

Sure it could be faulty wiring if it happened when everyone else was home, but if you're there by yourself it's absolutely the ghost of an evil electrician. If you really want to double down and make sure you die, you could yell into the darkness and ask, "Is anyone there? Hello?" If someone was there, do you really think they'd say, "Oh haha yeah it's me. I'm a ghost. Most people don't ever say hello or ask if I'm here, so I rarely introduce myself. How are you? How are you enjoying the place?"

8. Your kid is talking to the wall.

It's common knowledge that kids and ghosts are so in love with each other. They want to hang out all the time, because apparently ghosts are dumb and just want to play with children's toys all day. If you see your kid talking to a wall or into a closet or to a television set, it is not an imaginary friend and if you simply shrug it off as kids being kids, get ready for your home to start spewing blood from the walls while your kid dances in it and thanks his friend Mr. Dark Smiles.

9. You ignore scary stories so you can have sex.

It never fails in movies, right before a younger couple has sex, one of them will tell the story of a gruesome murder that occurred in the home. Sadly the guy's horniness will overpower any common sense and instead of saying, "Oh so you're saying dozens of satanic rituals took place here complete with human sacrifices? And they left a warning that anyone who makes love here will be the next to die? Well then let's get out of this god forsaken hell pit and never look back!" He'll say something smart like, "Yeah cool whatever babe. Can I seem them titties now or wut?"

10. You discover a hidden room in your house.

You might think a hidden room just upped the resale value and helped you pull a quick one on your realtor, but actually you've awoken ancient spirits and released an unspoken evil into your home. Why don't you just read from the ancient scroll sitting in the corner or open the book with a goat's head on the front that has "DO NOT OPEN" written across it in blood?

11. Items in your home move by themselves.

You might think that door that became slightly ajar during the night was just a gentle breeze, but you'd be wrong. If anything whatsoever is in a different location than the last time you saw it, that's because a ghost moved it. There is no other logical explanation and everyone you know is about to feel a demonic wrath.

12. You literally see a ghost, but nobody believes you.

It would seem like seeing a ghost with your own two eyes would be an obvious sign, but, for some reason, in horror movies people can tell you it was just your imagination and you'll believe it. You're probably just stressed out and that's what caused you to envision your own death with worms consuming your soul. That's a thing that makes sense, right?

 

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Hot Lifeguards Prank Guys By Asking Them To Practice Mouth-To-Mouth

July 10, 2015, 6:35 am

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We men sure are dumb. Two hot girls in "Baywatch" circa 1993 swimsuits just don't walk up to you and ask you to help them with their CPR practice. That only happens in our dreams or those entertaining beach themed porn videos. That doesn't stop us from falling for it, though.

Also check out: Girl Pranks Beachgoers By Scattering Fake Dead Grandma's Ashes

 

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Parkour Fails Are The Most Painful Fails

July 10, 2015, 7:33 am

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For those who don't know, parkour is basically the act of freestyle running and jumping off of walls, buildings, benches, stairs and anything else that can cause major bodily injury. Some would say it requires a tremendous amount of strength and agility, but after watching all of these painful fails, you might think it mostly requires stupidity.

More: A Wild and Crazy Compilation of Hilarious Summer Fails

 

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Is This The Sexiest Female Golfer Alive?

July 10, 2015, 1:10 pm

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Short answer: Probably.

According to Golf Babes, Paige Spiranac (who goes by Paige Renee on Instagram) is a San Diego State alum who recently helped the women's golf team win the Mountain West Conference championship, finishing 14th place individually. Clearly, she has one hell of a swing:

A video posted by @_paige.renee on Jul 10, 2015 at 5:06pm PDT

Paige recently graduated, so it's off to the real world for her, and that seems to be off to a good start as she is skyrocketing in popularity on social media. That's because along with her golf videos, she posts photos like these:





So if golf doesn't work out, perhaps the fitness or modeling industries would be an option. And that's a good thing, too, because she probably won't make it as a trick shot artist:

A video posted by @_paige.renee on May 30, 2015 at 2:23pm PDT

 

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Make an Appointment With the Lovely Jacqueline Schaffer

July 10, 2015, 4:30 pm

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Today's Funny Photos

July 12, 2015, 11:59 pm

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The Most Expensive Music Tours Going on Right Now

July 13, 2015, 1:32 am

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While big festival bands like Foo Fighters and singers like Iggy Azalea rock the summer circuit, there's a tide of summer singles and expensive music tours going on right now. You may see them at your local music festival, but if you catch tickets to these acts solo, expect a high ticket price or plenty of sexual favors. Most of these tours have such high production costs that the tickets were expensive when they went on sale, just before they sold out and skyrocketed on secondary sites like StubHub and TicketsNow. Here are some of the rounded averages of these entire tours. The Rolling Stones have only a few shows left, some of which are averaging more than 400 bucks a pop, so don't be surprised if they end up taking the lead when all is said and done.

5 Seconds of Summer

Average Ticket Price: $179
In support of their debut, self-titled 2014 record, 5 Seconds of Summer is on the road with the likes of One Direction for the third year in a row. Amongst the tour dates, the band will hit up Shoreline Amphitheater in Mountain View, California on July 22. They're just too handsome not to go look at, right?

Kenny Chesney

Average Ticket Price: $185
Still rocking on "The Big Revival" from 2014, Kenny Chesney is making his rounds with his big country hats and dashing good looks. On August 8, Chesney will rock the undies off ladies as high up as Mile High Stadium in Denver, Colorado.

One Direction

Average Ticket Price: $223
This summer's Honda Civic Tour features One Direction kicking off their On the Road Again Tour. Still in support of their latest record, "Four," the band will hit up the likes of Chicago's Soldier Field on August 23. Let's just hope Harry makes it out unscathed from all the vicious hands of his lady admirers.

The Who

Average Ticket Price: $251
That's 50 years and a farewell all wrapped in one big bow, and a hefty price tag at that. Roger Daltrey and Pete Townsend are going for one last hoorah with their Last Big Tour, set to cost concertgoers a pretty penny. You can catch the band at The Staple Center in Los Angeles on September 21. Their final show is set for Oakland in December with Joan Jett & The Blackhearts. Hopefully you can "see for miles" or else your wallet will be dry. See what we did there?

U2

Average Ticket Price: $257
We still can't get the latest record from Bono and the boys - "Songs of Innocence"- off our goddamn phones. In mid-July, U2 fans can pay out the wah-zoo for a chance to see one of the biggest rock bands in their 360-degree tour monstrosity. Madison Square Garden across an 8-show stint in New York City. At the very least, you might get to see The Edge wiping out on stage.

Chris Brown

Average Ticket Price: $259
Despite his ongoing custody battles and personal strife, Chris Brown continues to support his 2014 "X" record with his One Hell of a Nite Tour well into the summer of 2015. He'll be attempting to perform without assaulting anybody at Tinley Park in Illinois on August 14.

Taylor Swift

Average Ticket Price: $263
"We love you, Taylor!" Get ready to throw your underwear on stage as Taylor continues to support her "1989" not only with rocking new summer singles but with one of the biggest tours of any single performer in the world. We're not sure whose hand that is in the photo or how they got to be so lucky, but if you want a shot at Taylor, try The Staple Center in L.A. on August 21-26, minus August 23.

Rolling Stones

Average Ticket Price: $275
With VIP packages as high as $1,562 on StubHub, Mick and Keith and the other aging yet spritely Stones will make you pay for their good time. With fifty-plus years under their British belts, the swagger is about as well oiled as any machine, and their ticket prices are only continuing to soar. Catch Mick and the boys while you can, starting with one of their final shows ending in mid-July.

Maroon 5

Average Ticket Price: $279
Girls - guys, too - will pay anything to see Adam Levine these days, and with their "V" record on the rise, so are their tickets, bringing them in as the most expensive modern rock band. There are only two shows left in the America, starting in August, before the band heads overseas so get out and see Adam cry while you can!

Fleetwood Mac

Average Ticket Price: $308
The most expensive tour going on in 2015 goes to none other than Stevie Nicks and the folks of Fleetwood Mac. Putting on quite a performance with their On With the Show Tour, the band is in the rumor mill to be going into the studio again, having not put out a full length since 2003. The American tour dates have just wrapped, including multiple nights at The Forum in Los Angeles, just as the band begins to wrap the tour overseas. Expect a landslide, baby, yeah.

 

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The Absolute Funniest Tweets Every Cat Owner Will Understand

July 13, 2015, 1:50 am

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There's nothing the Internet loves more than cats and talking about how much they love staying in with their cats. Thankfully many of those people are hilarious and have written some very funny jokes about life with cats and kittens. Here are some of the best from some joke writers that you definitely need to check out immediately. Enjoy!

"someday this will all be yours" I tell my cat, waving my arms wildly at a few amazon boxes by the front door

- claudia martin (@cloudypianos) May 26, 2015

1. Take pictures of every cat in your neighborhood 2. Make missing cat posters with the pictures 3. Get all the cats

- Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) March 22, 2013

Just petted my cat so clumsily that she purred sarcastically.

- Jason Berlin (@JasonBerlin) May 27, 2015

Two of my cats hate each other and they're always smelling each others assholes and it's like maybe that's the problem.

- Laura (@LadyLardman) May 29, 2015

I'm pretty sure the "Cats always land on their feet" thing was made up to excuse cat throwing

- joe (@sad_tree) May 27, 2015

"Fill 'er up, please", I say as I pull my van up to the cat shelter.

- moody monday (@mdob11) September 23, 2013

"MY cat is like a dog." - every cat owner

- The Guy (@theguydf) May 11, 2015

Name your cat "Wheat" so all your friends with cat allergies can say "I'm allergic to Wheat." HAHAHA! My car is slowly filling with exhaust.

- Ted Travelstead (@trumpetcake) December 19, 2013

Okay what if Andre 3000 met a cat instead of Big Boi and they were called OutKatz and they sang "Hey Meow" and no one was ever sad what if?

- Grant Pardee (@grantpa) July 7, 2011

There is a person out there for everyone. Your person just happens to be five cats.

- braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) November 23, 2011

[Testing Cat-Human Translator] Scientist: Cat, what is your name? Cat: I AM KANG THE DESTROYER Owner: It's not working. His name is Socks.

- Dan O'Brien (@OtherDanOBrien) November 21, 2014

I'm in pretty decent shape for someone with this many cat photos on my phone.

- rachow (@rachow) April 1, 2013

Came out of the shower and my cat had one of those slimy rocket boners when he looked at me. Still got it.

- Megan Pettit (@meganshpettit) February 11, 2011

Tonight a co-worker told me his cat has bone cancer and I asked if it needed chemeowtherapy and I don't feel great about it

- Patrick Walsh (@thepatrickwalsh) January 14, 2015

I wish I was a little bit shorter I wish I was a hoarder I wish there was a bed made of cats I could order.

- Jocelyn Plums (@FilthyRichmond) June 14, 2013

CATS: We got a lifetime of naps and belly rubs. What about you? HUMANS: Superior intellect C: Cool what's it for? H: Math and feeling bad

- Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) September 21, 2014

my cat is playing with her tail and I'm bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge

- Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) May 18, 2014

Fat Chancy Magazine, the dating magazine for people who subscribe to Cat Fancy Magazine.

- LBJohnson (@ladybirdj) January 9, 2012

I say hi to my cat about 37 times a day

- Marie Colette (@MarieColette) April 9, 2014

My wife wanted two kittens but I am the man in this house so we got two kittens

- Justin Guarini (@JustinGuarini) January 17, 2015

Adopting a hairless cat is like hiring a naked old man to walk around your apartment and never thank you for anything.

- Nikki Walter (@TurboGrandma) February 12, 2012

[at the cat shelter] Yes hello I'd like to start a tab, please

- moody monday (@mdob11) December 23, 2014

 

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Disney Tattoos Gone Wild

July 13, 2015, 2:39 am

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Tattoos are mainstream enough now that all types of women get them: good girls, bad girls, nerds, biker babes, hipsters, normcores, and others. Just because you get ink doesn't mean you have loose morals like it used to be. However, there are certain tattoos and tattoo placements that look, well, kinda...different. Nothing wrong with that, but it takes a special breed of woman who gets and pulls off a Disney tattoo, and makes it sexy too. We're not here to judge, we're just here to enjoy the ink and lob snarky comments.

Infinity And Beyond

Beyond the tattoo is your boob and that's as far as we need to go.

Janet Jackson's Mickey Tattoo

The artist must've had serious reservations about depicting Mickey so close to Janet's dirty spots, because he did a shit job.

Lion King

HakunamaTATAs ... yes, that joke works much better if the tattoo is by her breasts, but couldn't pass it up.

Peter Pan

So you have to spoon your best girlfriend to get the full effect of this tattoo? Got it.

Stitch

Lilo is all grown up now.

Thigh Of Snow White

Every time this girl's boyfriend has sex with her, he must feel like he's watched the entire Snow White movie.

Snow White Suicide Girl

Poor Snow White's only choice is to stare at side-boob forever or eat the poison apple.

Thumper

If a girl pulls up her shirt to revel a rabbit, especially one that specially likes to thump a lot, it's gonna give guys some ideas.

Dream Is A Wish

Every man who has ever read this tattoo has made the same wish.

Pocahontas

Is it just me, or is Pocahontas's gaze fixed like an arrow on this girl's crotch?

Bambi

Bambi must enjoy bath time every night.

Back Of Thighs

Jogging behind her is fascinating for a number of reasons now.

Bambi Forest Animals

So many questions: Are they looking at her butt or is her butthole supposed to be a rabbit hole? And if the latter is the case, why are they so confused/concerned?

Belle

This woman decided to not worry about the tattoo's placement and just go with making Belle look like she wants it bad.

Key

Pull up your shorts and show us the key to the Magic Kingdom.

Curiosity often leads to trouble

This girl looks like she's all kinds of trouble...and it'd be worth every painful minute.

 

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Courtney Stodden Wears Nothing But Body Paint At Comic-Con

July 13, 2015, 2:44 am

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Courtney Stodden will always be known for two things: marrying a 50-year-old actor when she was 16, and for this awful attempt at a sex tape. But now, Courtney can add a third thing to her legacy: being completely naked with only body paint covering her.



In order to show her support of PETA, Courtney arrived at Comic-Con with her own Captain Marvel costume made of nothing but body paint. This stunt was pulled in order to hopefully encourage people to go vegan, but I feel like it just makes people hate paint.



"Eating healthy makes me feel stronger and radiant," Courtney says. "It's like I'm a superhero! My super-power would be turning butchers into bakers!

Commence talks of a Captain Marvel movie starring Courtney Stodden.

Enjoy some more of Courtney.





Via Bro Bible

 

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Woman Too Busy Using Sex Toy In Traffic Crashes Into Van

July 13, 2015, 3:05 am

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The majority of people get furious when they find themselves in traffic, but one woman was apparently turned on by stalled cars as she proceeded to pleasure herself, causing an accident.



The 30-something year old woman was hanging in traffic in Gloucestershire, England, when out of nowhere her Mini Cooper accelerated forward and crashed into the back of a van, a stationary fish van.

After exchanging information, the driver's boss checked the footage of the van's rear camera only to discover the reason for the accident: the woman was in the middle of using a "Rampant Rabbit" sex toy and stuff got a little too hot. Something about that English traffic.

The driver of the van was on his first work shift ever, and he feared he was going to get the axe. Then the video was seen. And seen again. And then seen a few more times just to make sure it was a woman pleasuring herself, probably.

"The bosses told him it wasn't his fault and then said 'Have you seen this?'. He was like 'what the f**k'. They all had a good laugh," a source says.

Ha, wankers.

The matter is now in the hands of the insurers. Because her hands are busy.

Via Mirror

 

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This Gal Can Bounce Her Butt Like A Basketball Because Everyone Has A Talent

July 13, 2015, 3:29 am

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Here is something basketball related that somehow doesn't involve LeBron James (it is possible). The gal below can dribble her ass like a basketball, and it's amazing how mesmerizing it truly is. I just hope she is hired for some halftime entertainment soon.

Wait until you're in the clear before watching this during work, because people shouldn't know you're a disgusting person just yet. Leave that for during happy hour.

 

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Guy Keeps Trolling IMDb With Hilarious Fake Movie Quotes

July 13, 2015, 3:50 am

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Do you remember when Tony Montana snorted a line of cocaine and yelled "Yabba dabba do!" in the movie "Scarface?" You don't? Dammit, must be another fake quote.

According to Buzzfeed, a cartoonist named Pandy has been trolling IMDb for the past couple years by submitting ridiculous fake movie quotes for popular films. But the best part is, they usually get accepted and stay up for weeks, sometimes months. Here are some of the best of Pandy's submissions.

The Matrix Reloaded


Air Bud


The Bourne Supremacy


Terminator Genisys


Shrek


Fast & Furious 6


Donnie Darko


Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2


Resident Evil: Retribution


Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade


Taken 2


The Terminator

 

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Why The Hell Does This Family's Water Keep Disappearing?

July 13, 2015, 4:10 am

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A family kept noticing that their water continued to go missing, so they did the logical thing of adding a hidden camera to discover what was occurring. And this is what they learned.















Via Tumblr

 

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Abigail Ratchford And Her Double D's Are Social Media Masters

July 13, 2015, 4:56 am

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What If Your Favorite Pro Wrestlers Were on Tinder?

July 13, 2015, 5:50 am

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With more and more people turning to online dating, it's only a matter of time before you're swiping through and see a celebrity or one of your childhood heroes. But what if your favorite wrestlers from over the years were on there looking for love or a night of fun? You'd probably be swiping right just to get a photo op with some of these hall of famers.

 

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Oklahoma Woman Upset About Bad Wi-Fi at Taco Bell Pulls Knife on Teens

July 13, 2015, 6:19 am

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Geez. Over bad Wi-Fi? Imagine what she would have done if she would have eaten their food.

According to Gawker, a 48-year-old Tahlequah woman was arrested Thursday afternoon after she pulled a knife on several teenage boys outside of a local Taco Bell.


So why was Amber Henson so angry with the teenagers? Simply because the Wi-Fi inside the "restaurant" wasn't working.

Henson then walked over to the fountain drink machine where the boys were hanging out, became even more agitated and dumped her drink on one of them. After a Taco Bell employee asked her to leave, Henson went outside and "glared" at the boys through a window until they walked outside. That's when Henson pulled a knife on them and said, "If you want some of me, come on."

They did not, and called police instead. They arrested Henson and charged her with assault with a dangerous weapon on a minor. But in her defense, it does look like she may have been possessed for at least a portion of the incident:


Seriously, she's a dead ringer for the bad guy toward then end of "Ghostbusters 2":


Ever wonder what would happen if you ate Taco Bell for a week? We did: What Happens If You Eat Nothing but Taco Bell for a Week: An Investigative Report

 

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Survey Says One-Fourth Of Porn Watchers Are Women

July 13, 2015, 6:20 am

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That. Is. Awesome.

According to the Daily Mail, 24 percent of smut viewers on PornHub these days are women, and experts think the success of "50 Shades of Grey" is the big reason why.


Most of the women watching skin flicks are under the age of 35, and the majority of them are taking in the action on their smartphones. PornHub's traffic and analytics data also revealed that the biggest porn-viewing day for the ladies is Monday, while Saturday is the least popular day to double-click their own mouse, and that's because Saturdays are when most women are out to get themselves a taste of the real thing.

Both men and women under the age of 35 account for more than 60 percent of what PornHub claims to be "78 million views of its videos." Most of those users live in the U.S. and Canada, but more people are cranking it to PornHub videos in England than anywhere else in Europe, with more than one million of them estimated to be addicted to doing so.

In fact, one out of every three clients at Quit Porn Addiction are said to be women, and that just might be one of the hottest things ever.

This is still the greatest survey of all time: Survey Suggests Women Scissoring Each Other Happens in Real Life Too

 

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Naked Pennsylvania Man Found in Hog Barn Tells Cops He 'Just Likes Pigs'

July 13, 2015, 6:35 am

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Apparently he likes them more than others.

According to Huffington Post, a 64-year-old Millersville man was recently arrested after police found him drunk and naked in a local barn next to "several market weight hogs."


When two officers from the Manor Township Police Department found Larry William Henry naked in the hog barn on June 26, they asked him what his deal was.

His response? You guessed it: "I just like pigs."

Believe it or not, the story somehow found a way to get even crazier when Henry told police that he had just finished off a sixer of Hamm's before partaking in his pig party. Hamm's.

It's unknown if Henry actually penetrated any of the pigs, but since he was only charged with criminal trespass, defiant trespass (because he was banned from that specific hog barn for an incident in 2011), indecent exposure and public drunkenness, we'll assume that police got there before any of the pigs were violated.

Still, it doesn't make Henry any less of an embarrassment to the human race.

There aren't many hog farms in Florida, so some just resort to raping their dogs: Florida Man Had Sex With His Pit Bull in Front of His Neighbors

 

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