If you've ever been in the transportation industry, you know you're bound to run into some unsavory characters and situations. Uber especially seems to attract the younger crowd, and as a result, the drunker crowd. These stories found on
AskReddit give a glimpse into the crazy world that is Uber.
Passed Out?
I was driving a man home around 2:00 a.m. He was very drunk and fell asleep in the backseat. When we arrived at his house, he didn't wake up. I start saying "HEY! WE ARE HERE!" Nothing. I get out and go to the backseat and give him a little shake. Nothing. I start really shaking him. Nothing. Now I'm freaking out. I think he might have alcohol poisoning. So just as I am about to call 911 he shoots up, straight as a board, thanks for me a ride and calmly walks into his house. It was weird.
Douche
Guy and his friends got in a fight in a bar parking lot. Two of his friends were already in my car, while him and another were arguing with another party. My pax (passenger) clocks another man in the face, he falls to the ground and his cell phone falls near him. Pax picks up victim's cell phone, laughs, and walks away.
He gets in my car with his accomplice, tells me to start driving. I drive.
He spends the entire ride asking me how fucking cool it looked from my perspective, and recounted how awesome it felt to punch someone in the face.
At the end of the ride, he gives my rating while he's still in the car. "Oh you totally get five stars. Or wait, did you say you wanted one star? Really, one star?" "Come on, man..." Long intense pause before he gives me this horribly unstable grin "I'm just fucking with you, dude. Five stars all the way."
I find out the next morning he tipped $0.00.
Bud Light Tip
I picked up a few guys that were planning on going to a friend's hotel room to drink. They brought along a garbage bag full of Bud Light. On the way there, they decided to go straight to the bar instead. When we got to the bar they left without the bag full of beers, and when I pointed that out they told me that I could keep it as a tip.
That was three weeks ago. I still have a bunch left.
Khan
Not an Uber driver, but my driver last night (his name was Khan - he was the man) told me that not once, but SIX times did he have girls give head in the back of his car. The most recent occurrence was two weeks ago, when a young lady politely inquired whether she could give her hookup a blowjob, mentioning that there wouldn't be a mess. He declined, and she went ahead and performed anyways. He delivered them to their destination.
Move Her Out!
Had a girl get so wasted she passed out. Couldn't wake her for anything. Called the paramedics and they had to slap the shit out of her to wake her up.
"Hey J, are you ready to go to the hospital?" "Woo... Let's go..." "Alright she said it! Let's move her out!"
Boston Bros.
One Boston holiday in particular I'm waiting for the passenger to show up and your stereotypical bro shows up at the door, says more are coming. Four dudes, obviously already drunk (at 4 pm, mind you), pile into my back seat and are yelling about different "bitches" and other questionable nonsense while the guy in the front seat pushes every single button on my radio, changing stations, inputs, just going back and forth with the shit. They don't even give me an actual location to drive to. They just tell me to head to Fenway, which if you know Boston, is just a large area.
I like a lot of types of music, but to avoid more nonsense I put on A$AP Rocky, who I figured would be sufficient for these bros but I hear "PUT ON SOME RAP" from the back seat. Confused, I say "this is rap?" and he yells back "PUT ON SOME GOOD RAP." To which I just kind of ignored and continued driving.
We get to Fenway and they tell me to drop them off at this sports bar and I gladly oblige. They get out, and there's a full can of beer in my front seat. I grab it and put it out of sight and drive away. A minute down the road I hear some clanging in my back seat, look back and there's a half empty can of beer rolling around my floor. The fuckers were drinking in my car and spilled beer all over my carpet. I had to explain this story to all my passengers the rest of the day so they didn't think the smell was me.
Really not all that awful, but damn was it annoying.
This other time I'm fairly certain I drove around a few transgender prostitutes and their pimp to buy drugs and then go home after picking them up from a hotel. Pretty pleasant people though.
Domestic Assault
A few months back I picked up a man and woman in their 40's from a restaurant. They were clearly not having a good time, still arguing about something. Towards the end of the ride he punches her in the face as hard as he could. When we pull up at the destination he pulls out a knife and starts to threaten her and me. I tell him to take it outside and I drive away.
I couldn't help but feel bad for that woman so I drove to the county Sheriff dept. and told them what happened. Luckily, the Uber Black cars have a camera inside that recorded the events. When the sheriff looked at the video he asked for the address and they arrested the guy. I also reported the incident to Uber, they called me and took a recorded statement by phone.
Bad Review
My good friend (a guy) picked up a couple of gay dudes from a party one night to drive them home. The passengers spent the entire ride trying to convince my friend to come with them to the bedroom for blowjobs, buggery, etc. which my friend politely declined.
After the trip, the passenger gave him a one star review with the comment "sexual harassment". My friend was kicked off Uber and is no longer allowed to drive for them.
Serial Pisser
Funny story actually ... My friend is a Uber driver too and he was telling me how this girl peed in his car and how funny yet utterly disgusting it was. I am out driving the following week and this passenger was telling me how she peed in some guys car the previous week. I was in such fear and she made a comment how I began to drive faster. When we got to her destination and she got out I told her I knew the driver who's car she peed in.
Clue Goo
One time I was driving this couple and I heard these furiously fast little claps in the back seat. Almost like someone was trying to start a fire. I pointed my mirror to see what the fuck was going on in the back of my Mini Cooper when all I see is this Chode-a-saurus Rex getting beaten like it owed the poor girl money.
Needless to say, I think they were like exhibitionists or some shit because the dude shot clue goo in the girls face once they noticed I saw them and that was it. I continued on to Whole Foods where they both winked at me as they exited. Some sick shit.
Spread 'Em
I picked up these two drunk girls at a bar and was about halfway to their house when the one girl asks how I like driving for Uber. I told her it's been good so far, and that I wish more people knew about the service. I said "Spread the word!" and the girl replied, half slurring her words, "I'll spread the word, then spread my legs...do you have a girlfriend?"
I laughed pretty hard and informed her I was married. Her friend apologized on her behalf and that was the end of that.
Steve
A couple weeks ago I was heading home from my shift. It was 3AM Saturday morning, and I was about halfway home when I get a ping to pick someone up at IHOP. I figured that one more ride wouldn't hurt. I picked the guy up, let's call him Steve.
So, Steve gets in my car, apologizes for the 'long trip' we are about to have, and hands me a twenty dollar bill. I work in the Rockford area, in Illinois, and when I started the trip, his destination was in Kenosha, Wisconsin, 88 miles away. I knew it was going to be a long ride, but I figured I'd be making some decent money.
Here starts the trip, which would be 3 hours, round-trip. Ten minutes into the ride, this guy is passed out in my backseat, so I figured I'd just play some tunes and enjoy the quiet ride. Five more minutes go by, and suddenly he's sitting upright, looks at me, and proceeds to vomit all over my floor, the back of my seat, and on my door, as well as under the passenger seat. He hands me another twenty, and passes back out, while I've still got over an hour to get him home (3:20 AM at this point)
It's 40 degrees outside, and I have to drive with all my Windows down, on the highway, the whole way there. I ended up dropping him off after he vomited two more times in the same spots on my floor. Then I had to make the hour and a half trip home, alone, and cold as fuck. I got back into town at 6AM, had to wait till 8:30AM for the cleaner to open, and wasn't home till nearly 11AM.
Not too horrible, but definitely my worst night driving.
Drunk Girls
I've been an Uber driver for about 6 months. On my second day, a drunk girl pissed in the third row of my Highlander, soaking the carpet and leather seats, after she climbed over the second row while the car was moving. She also exited completely bare-ass (and cooch) naked from the waist down. Her friends were so drunk that one literally fell out of the car and started crying when the boyfriend opened the door. It was a mess. She got banned and fined $200.
I also have had to pull over for people to puke in the street twice now and last month I picked up a dealer from a strip club who passed out in my car and then left his bag. Finding that gallon sized bag of ganja was a spiritual experience for this broke college kid/pot head.
John
John. The dude who made me quit Uber three weeks into the experience. 1AM, I picked him up in a group of wasted college kids, didn't know they barely knew him. We got to our destination, everybody gets out, except John (that was his real name). I tapped to end the ride, only I realize everybody was leaving except this dude (I drove a minivan). I call everybody back to come and get their friend, but they had just partied together and knew nothing of him. We ask him where he lives, no answer. Blank look. I ask his friends to look for any ID. They found his driver's license in his pockets - turns out his name was John and lived two miles from there. I accept to drive him for free (had ended my ride).
He lived in this upper class neighborhood; million dollar houses left and right. 2AM, I got him in front of the address on his license. Except he cannot walk, barely could stand up. I help him across the lawn to his front door, when he opens one eye and starts yelling in his drunk voice "who are you and what are you doing on my father's property?" It is 2AM, southern US, I am black, looking like I am wrestling this blond teenager. Did I mention it was around the time the US was embroiled in the Michael Brown saga? I left him there, crossed the lawn like Usain Bolt, got into my van, made a U-turn, and slammed away. The last thing I remember seeing/hearing is John shouting something, windows lighting up and dogs barking. I got home safely and never drove Uber again.
Marines
I did Uber and Lyft for awhile. I'll start by saying I'm in the minority as a female driver. I got hit on a lot because I was the last chance for drunk, male passengers to get laid. I really never encountered a terrible situation. I've overheard a lot of great conversations though. One time I was driving a group of Marines back to their base and they were telling me about this other Marine guy who had a fetish where he would stand on his head and jerk off into his own mouth.
Not Exactly a Horror Story
I picked up two rather tipsy couples. One guy sits up front and the other three in the back. The two girls are sitting next to each other (this is relevant, just wait for it). A few minutes into the drive and the two girls started making out while the boyfriends stare at them, enjoying the view. Mind you, they were two heterosexual couples, at least initially, so this was quite a surprise. Then the guy in the back starts making out with the girl who is not his girlfriend AND his girlfriend. All the while the other boyfriend, sitting up front with me, is half the time staring at them and the other half attempting to have a normal conversation with me. This went on for the rest of the long and awkward 30 minute drive to their apartments.
Related: The 10 Types Of Uber Drivers You'll Experience On Your Rides