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Salma Hayek Reminds Us Of Her Fantastic Boobs

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I know it is Monday and everything is awful, but aside from it being a short work week, maybe this will also make you feel better: Salma Hayek and her boobs.

Instead of attending the American Music Awards and hanging out with a bunch of people who enjoy patting themselves on the back, Salma instead decided to attend the Evening Standard Theatre Awards at The Old Vic in London. I do not know what the hell that means, but it does not matter because Salma dressed up like this:

Salma Hayek, Girls, Salma Hayek Boobs

And because everything is better when you get a closer look, here is Salma up close and extremely personal:

Salma Hayek, Girls, Salma Hayek Boobs

Happy Monday, folks.

Via TMZ

More Salma for you: 10 Sexy Shots of Salma Hayek In A Bikini

 

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The Oxford University Female Rugby Team Went Nude For Their Calendar (A Tad NSFW)

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I do not remember the last time I purchased a calendar or even looked at one. The only time calendars get my attention is when I am trying to figure out how many more days are left until a long weekend. But the gals on the rugby team at Oxford University may have just change all that.

The female rugby team at the university turned heads when they decided to pose nude for a calendar.

Oxford University Women\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Rugby Team Go Nude

The team went the naked route in order to help raise money for Beat, a charity helping those battling with eating disorders. So there is really not a damn negative thing to say about any of this at all.

Take a look at more of the calendar pictures below, and remember that they are only tastefully NSFW, so you do not have to cover your computer while suspiciously looking around like you usually do:

Oxford University Women\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Rugby Team Go Nude

Oxford University Women\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Rugby Team Go Nude

Oxford University Women\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Rugby Team Go Nude

Oxford University Women\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Rugby Team Go Nude

Oxford University Women\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Rugby Team Go Nude

See more of the pics in the video below:



Via Express

Facebook was not a fan of these girls: Naked Calendar Of Female Rowing Team Gets Temporary Facebook Ban

 

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We've Ranked Classic Bar Food Menu Items To Make Your Decisions Easier

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Bar food is the best food, simple thanks to the fact that it's eaten either while drunk or getting drunk -- both of which greatly contribute to the overall appeal of a meal. While all of the food featured below is undeniably delicious and bad for you, I've taken on the daunting task of choosing which of these menu items are the best, as well as those that aren't worth your generous drunk dime.

greatest bar foods, bar foods ranked
Related: Ranking the Thanksgiving Side Dishes

 

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A Big List Of Christmas Gifts For Your A-Hole Friends

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Let's face it, our greatest friends also tend to be the greatest assholes in our lives. You know they've got a sense of humor, and that's what's most important. After trudging to the end of the universe for the best gifts within the a-hole demographic, a few stood out to us, many of which will have you laughing into New Year's Day.

Barack Obama Last Day Countdown Clock ($13.99)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, barack obama last day countdown clock
There's always going to be at least one friend who mutters, "Obama ... " whenever something goes wrong. This countdown clock extends all the way to January 2017, and your buddy can keep a close eye on it until the day of reckoning.

Boob Muffs ($12.88)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, boob muffs
It gets chilly in December. Boob Muffs allow for a humorous way to warm up your ears while making everyone else in the room uncomfortable. If you don't have a lady whose breasts you can place your head between, these puppies are a no-brainer.

Abe Lincoln's Log Lavatory Mist ($14.88)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, abe lincoln's log lavatory mist
If you drop mighty bombs in the bathroom, Abe Lincoln's Log Mist should eradicate the stink.

Gay Bar Soap ($8.15)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts
For only the most immature, "Gay Bar Soap" comes in pink (but your closeted homophobic buddy will secretly love it).

Hillary Clinton Toilet Paper ($7.81)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, hillary clinton toilet paper
What could be considered a nice supplement to the "Barack Obama Last Day Countdown Clock," "Hillary Clinton Toilet Paper" is for the a-hole friend in your life with a serious distaste for Hilldog.

Mooning Garden Gnome ($13.77)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, mooning garden gnome
Tired of your neighbors' actual gnomes? Be the rebel of the block with your own personal "Mooning Garden Gnome." It'll effectively communicate "Screw your gnome, my gnome thinks your gnome is an idiot."

Greenman Suit ($24.95)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, greenman suit
For fans of Charlie Kelly.

"I'm a Twat" Surprise Mug ($9.27)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, i'm a twat surprise mug
The "I'm a Twat" mug may look harmless on the surface, but underneath lies a message. It might be good to add a few plain white mugs in with the gift to hide your ace in the hole. Perfect for bosses.

Borat Mankini ($13.95)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, borat mankini
Do you live in a warm climate? If so, the "Borat Mankini" will have you scarring children's fragile minds and angering parents for years to come. Warning: Requires absurd amount of self-confidence in your package.

Toilet Mug ($9.51)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, toilet mug
Looks like Fat Bastard just dropped a sample in your coffee. But in reality it's only a delicious cup of java.

Trunk In My Junk: Male False Advertising ($11.95)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, junk in my trunk male false advertising
For the friend who's a bit insecure. Like breast padding, these will give the impression he's packing heat. Just remind him to discreetly remove it prior to intercourse if he manages to bring a girl home.

Beard Head Hat ($19.99)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, beard head hat
Beard Head has been making glorious beanies that resemble beards for quite some time now. This particular model will give your friend the bearded confidence he needs while providing much needed warmth this winter.

Watermelon Keg Tap ($19.98)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, watermelon keg tap
Does one of your friends like watermelons? Is one of your friends an alcoholic? If so, this gift is ideal for alcoholic watermelon lovers.

Evil Unicorn Horn for Cats ($7.00)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, evil unicorn horn for cats
Cats are a-holes. So are unicorns (even though they don't exist). In the event that you'd like to warn guests that your cat is indeed a jerk, the "Evil Unicorn Horn for Cats" works wonders. It may also provide fodder for your Instagram.

Chewbacca Can Cooler ($10.39)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, chewbacca can cooler
If you like "Star Wars" and beer, the Chewbacca Can Cooler is an effective koozie for such interests.

World's Okayest Brother ($6.99)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, world's okayest brother
Is your brother only mediocre in your book? Could he improve? Motivate him to do better with this t-shirt. He'll get mad at first, but then get really gloomy and introspective, and eventually get his shit together.

The Hillary Nutcracker ($23.95)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, the hillary nutcracker
Ouch.

Shittens ($16.99)
christmas gifts for a-hole friends, funny christmas gifts, shittens
Mittens for poo. Pretty self-explanatory.

 

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Foo Fighters Release New, Surprise Album And It's Free

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Dave Grohl knows how to get your attention on the Internet and it looks like he's up to his old tricks again. Fans of Foo Fighters will be excited to hear that the band has just released a new album, and it's free.

Entertainment, Foo Fighters, Foo Fighters New Surprise Album

The popular band have had a countdown clock on their website for quite some time now, and now that the clock has struck all zeroes the band has finally released their new album, " Saint Celilia EP" and you can get it for free on iTunes.

Entertainment, Foo Fighters, Foo Fighters New Surprise Album

Grohl has this to say about the surprise album:

"The Saint Cecilia EP was put into motion back in October of this year as a celebration of life and music. The concept being that, as our world tour drew to a close this week, we wanted to share our love of both with you in return for everything you have given us."

"Now, there is a new, hopeful intention that, even in the smallest way, perhaps these songs can bring a little light into this sometimes dark world. To remind us that music is life, and that hope and healing go hand in hand with song. That much can never be taken away."

Longtime fans and new fans can download the new album on iTunes or simply head over to their website.

Via Uproxx

This guy will always have the best story to tell: Emotional Drunk Guy Gets Pulled On Stage To Sing With Foo Fighters

 

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Women Are Safer Drivers Than Men Even Though They Fail The Driving Test More Often

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Even though women are failing their driving tests more often, they are still better drivers than guys.

As much as your grandfather likes telling everyone at the table that women can't drive, according to government statistics for the year 2014-2015, that's not entirely true. Statistics show that a 17-year-old female taking the driving test for the first time is seven percent less likely to pass the test than a male is. These numbers continue to double the older the female gets.

News, Women Are Safer Drivers Than Men
A 20-year-old woman taking the test the first time is 15 percent less likely to pass, while a 30-year-old woman taking it for the first time is 25 percent less likely to pass. But even with those numbers, the AA says gals are way safer on the road than dudes whose main focus is to rev their engine hard enough to get laid.

"[If you were to say there was something wrong with the test] that would probably be a sage observation," a spokesperson for the AA states. "Young men tend to deal with the mechanics of driving extremely well but as soon as they have passed the test they are more likely to push the car. Women seem to have a better appreciation of risk than young men do."

Here are some more numbers because we know you miss math class: 2014 stats reveal that 69,245 female drivers were involved in accidents compared to a ridiculous 113,066 male drivers.

"Accidents involving young men tend to be more catastrophic and to involve other people," the spokesperson adds.

I think we should all agree to just be safer on the road, regardless of your gender. Or just take Uber and then you won't have to worry about your awful driving skills.

And will I agree to stop singing Bon Jovi's "Blaze of Glory" while I drive? OK, I'll agree to stop singing any Bon Jovi. #SorryJersey

Via The Sun

Yeah, best to stay off the road: These Drivers Are So Bad It Seems Physically Impossible

 

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New York Woman Caught Her Super Stealing And Sniffing Her Panties

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So that's why he never fixed the leaky sink.

According to the New York Post, a beautiful Manhattan financial analyst couldn't figure out why her panties and other garments were disappearing, so she decided to set up a hidden cellphone camera to record anybody entering her apartment after she left.

Sure enough, somebody did enter her apartment one night in September, and it wound up being her building's super. And not only did he leave with a pair of her Victoria's Secret underwear in his right hand, but he also gave them a big whiff in front of the hidden phone:



Ashely Chase said she first became suspicious when a purple lace bra went missing while she was celebrating Labor Day in the Hamptons in 2014. Over the next year, more items disappeared, including a tan bra, a black-and-gold bikini top and at least three pairs of panties, some of which were taken from her dirty hamper after being worn one weekend in July.

Ashley Chase had her underwear stolen by her super
Chase had finally had enough. She borrowed an old iPhone from her sister and downloaded the Presence app, which apparently activates the phone's video camera when it detects motion. She hid it on an end table near the door, and the rest is history.

Her super, José Cedillo, admitted to taking the panties, sniffing them and then throwing them in the garbage. He has been charged with petit larceny and burglary as a sexually motivated felony, which is just legal jargon for being a total perv.

The super's legal team might want to find a way to get this judge on the bench: A Stripper Once Showed Her Panties To A Judge To Have Her Charges Dropped

 

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A Wardrobe Malfunction Revealed One Dancer's Entire Butt At Last Night's AMAs

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It doesn't get much hotter than J Lo's opening act at last night's American Music Awards. I mean, seriously, try to find something on network television more provocative than Lopez shaking it and basically getting dry humped while wearing a skin-tight bodysuit.

Perhaps the only way it could have been better was if at one point, her bodysuit would have ripped as a result of one her crazy dance maneuvers and revealed a portion of her backside that pretty much has its own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Well, that didn't happen to J Lo. But it did happen to one of her female dancers who was wearing pretty much the same thing:



Terrific.

h/t Barstool Sports

Lindsay Lohan's nipples, anybody? The Biggest Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions

 

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These States Are Most Likely To Have Fights Resulting From Black Friday Sales

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Need another reason to do your Black Friday shopping in the comfort of your own home while wearing nothing but your lucky pair of boxers with the massive crotch hole? Well, if you're living in Arkansas, the fact that you're going to get your ass kicked unless you "Fight Club" yourself is a great place to start.

The gang at Estately put together a fun map of the United States and color coded it based on how likely you are to encounter fights at Black Friday sales, and it looks like much of the Southeast and Midwest might want to seriously consider waiting until Saturday.

ranking states for black friday sales fights

Estately averaged the results that came from ranking how interested each state's Facebook users were in Black Friday sales and the frequency of aggravated assaults in each state.

ranking states for black friday sales fights

It's worth noting that in the four states where recreational pot use is legal, they each were ranked 40th or lower when it came to frequency of aggravated assault. And the majority of them don't give a crap about Black Friday sales either, which is what we would expect.

Well, except for Alaska, which goes to show that there is nothing to do in Alaska but smoke weed legally, get excited for huge savings and google Nicolas Cage.

Here's another map that doesn't do Arkansas any favors: This Map Of The Fattest States Is Something They Didn't Show You In Geography Class

 

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Drunk Girl Stumbles Into Wrong Apartment, Guys Living There Make Her Feel At Home

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It's always nice to hear a story that confirms that not everyone out there is a complete a-hole, and this story involving a drunk girl and some helpful lads is definitely one of them.

Lifestyle, Funny, Drunk Girl Stumble Into Apartment, Is Made To Feel At Home
Twenty-something-year-old Cory Rindone and his friends live in an apartment in Charlotte, North Carolina. And while nothing exciting normally happens there, Cory and his friends received a surprise when an intoxicated woman that they did not know stumbled into their place.

Lifestyle, Funny, Drunk Girl Stumble Into Apartment, Is Made To Feel At Home
Cory and company decided to treat her like a welcomed guest and well, he can probably explain it better than I can:

"Thought this might be appreciated. My roommate was sitting on the couch last night at about 1 AM when the door randomly opened and an incoherent drunk girl came stumbling into our apartment. Mind you, we are in our mid-twenties and do not live in a college town. We live in a decent Charlotte, NC apartment complex about a 10 minute drive from downtown. The complex houses many young professionals that like to party, but this was certainly not the norm.

After trying to explain to her that we didn't know her and she was in the wrong place (without any semblance of a human response), she began taking off her shoes and getting comfortable on our couch. That is about the time I received these texts from my roommate (upper left picture). I happened to just be getting home at the same time from the movies (Hunger Games - 7.5/10) and was quite amused by the whole situation. Without giving us any hints as to where her friends were, or what she was doing in our apartment (Stephen Hawking had better oratory skills), she decided to lay down, grab a blanket, and pass out for the night right in our living room."


Lifestyle, Funny, Drunk Girl Stumble Into Apartment, Is Made To Feel At Home
"Being the kind-hearted Bros that we are, we let her sleep it off and put a note on her pillow to give her an idea of what she had done the night before, with the simple request of not burglarizing our home, along with a glass of water to start her on her journey when she awoke. We definitely got a good laugh out of it and the story will most certainly be passed down to future generations, but let that be a lesson to any future Bros in a similar situation: we've all been there. A simple act of kindness can go a long way. She could've stumbled into a much worse situation. As a buddy so eloquently put it: "she's lucky as shit y'all aren't creepy."

Lifestyle, Funny, Drunk Girl Stumble Into Apartment, Is Made To Feel At Home
"UPDATE: 6 AM check - her walk-of-shame has commenced. She has vacated the premises and left the glass of water half-empty. Or as I prefer to see it, half-full."

Kudos to Cory and his pals. We need more gentlemen like them in this world.

Via Bro Bible

Best visit ever: NAU Sorority Girl Runs Into Man's Apartment, Strips Naked, Jumps On Bed And Somehow Gets Arrested

 

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Alessandra Ambrosio Poses Naked On The December Cover Of Maxim

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Here's another case where the word 'naked' in the headline piqued your interest, and Victoria's Secret Angel Alessandra Ambrosio won't disappoint you. She was named "World's Sexiest Businesswoman" and posed naked for the December cover of Maxim magazine.

The 34-year-old model can be seen gracing the cover just in time for the holidays, and this is surely better than that hands-free scooter you asked for that will have all your neighbors laughing at you.

alessandra ambrosio, alessandr ambrosio naked
Alessandra was photographed by Gilles Bensimon, and she's featured in various, hot naked poses.

alessandra ambrosio, alessandr ambrosio naked
The magazine describes Alessandra as a "sexy and powerful woman" who is "still down-to-earth." She made the choice to pose naked for a magazine, so we would like to describe her as a woman who makes good decisions, too.

Alessandra Ambrosio, Alessandra Ambrosio Naked

Alessandra Ambrosio, Alessandra Ambrosio Naked

alessandra ambrosio, alessandr ambrosio naked

Alessandra Ambrosio, Alessandra Ambrosio Naked

Alessandra Ambrosio, Alessandra Ambrosio Naked
We wouldn't mind more of this.

Via Maxim

That's one way to drive sales: Alessandra Ambrosio Shows Off Her Floral Bra

 

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Trick Your Brain to Turn This Black and White Photo into Color

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Sometimes it's all in how you view things.

Watch this amazing video and prepare to have it play optical tricks on your eyes. In a clip originally featured on a BBC special entitled "Spectrum: The Colour of Science", British researchers were able to devise a special trick by adding a blue dot in the center of a color photo to trick our brains to turn black and white images into color ones.



Stare closely into the blue dot in this color photo for 20-to-30 seconds:


Then quickly look at this black and white photo:


Did the "wow" factor kick in for you?

Related: Is This Stupid Dress White and Gold or Blue and Black?

 

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Watch Kylie Jenner Spank Victoria's Secret Model Gigi Hadid

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Are you attracted to Kylie Jenner? How about Victoria's Secret model Gigi Hadid? If you answered "yes" to at least one of those questions, then we're guessing you will find much joy in the following video of the former slapping the ass of the latter.


The Snapchat video went down in one of the ladies' hotel rooms last night following the AMA Awards, where they presented together. And if the sight of these two spanking each other simply isn't invigorating enough for you, just keep your eyes peeled over the next few days. Apparently, Gigi is in the midst of an iCloud hacking scandal threatening to put her most personal photos and videos online. We're sure she'd just hate all the attention, too.

Lest we forget, Gigi also has a sister: This Bella Hadid Photoshoot Puts Her Sexiest Assets On Display

 

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Today's Funny Photos

The Wackiest Kids Game Shows From Back In The Day

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Now that we've all survived the nineties, it's time to take a look back at the toughest, craziest, and weirdest kids' game shows from the '80s and '90s, as well as two recent successors that carry on the tradition.

I'm Telling! (1987-1988)
Crazy Kids Game Shows from the '80s and '90s, retro, i'm telling
If you were one of the weird kids who kept watching Saturday morning TV after the cartoons were done, you might've caught an episode or two of NBC's "I'm Telling!" -- which was universally described as "like 'The Newlywed Game' but with siblings." That's easily the creepiest pitch for a TV series ever made, but it could get even creepier when kids inadvertently revealed worrisome stuff about their home lives and their parents' discipline. Fun fact: a young Paul Walker once appeared on the show with his sister Ashlie.


Fun House (1988-1991)
Crazy Kids Game Shows from the '80s and '90s, retro, fun house
This show was Fox's answer to "Double Dare", with bigger sets, crazier challenges, and foxy identical twins. Infamously, "Fun House" also featured the Slop Machine, which introduced kids to an unpleasant new game show element: random chance. After host J.D. Roth pulled the lever, three out of four contests would be slime -- oops, not slimed, somebody else owns that -- slopped with horrible goo, thus "losing" a contest based on pure luck. That's the fun of Fun House, kids: you have no control over your fate, a rudderless ship adrift in an ocean of uncertainty!


Knightmare (1987-1994)
Crazy Kids Game Shows from the '80s and '90s, retro, knightmare
Putting a bucket on somebody's head and shouting confusing instructions to them as they navigate an imaginary dungeon sounds like a fun thing to do (while drunk, maybe) but it was also the premise behind the cult British TV show "Knightmare". Combining blue-screen effects with hand-drawn animation, CGI models, and scene-chewing overacting on the part of host Treguard, "Knightmare" challenged one British kid to don the "Helmet of Justice" while his or her teammates issued instructions and read out magical spells. It turned out this was a lot tougher than anyone expected, as out of 112 episodes only 8 teams successfully beat the game.


Nick Arcade (1992-93)
Crazy Kids Game Shows from the '80s and '90s, retro, nick arcade
Some of the less gifted contestants on "Nick Arcade" may have been frustrating to the audience (seriously, who's so bad at video games that they screw up the first level of Sonic the Hedgehog?) but that's nothing to the level of frustration posed by the final rounds in the infamous "Video Zone". Based on the same sort of chroma-key technology used by "Knightmare" and TV weathermen, the "Video Zone" differed in two major ways: instead of low-pressure systems it portrayed fire wizards, and instead of the help of your teammates or the experience of veteran newscasters with months of green-screen experience, it had kids who had been tossed into the situation with basically no time to practice. To add insult to injury, they had only two tiny TVs on either side of the set to let them see what they were actually doing.


Legends of The Hidden Temple (1993-1995)
Crazy Kids Game Shows '80s and '90s, retro, legends of the hidden temple
Combining a few physical challenge portions with a laughably easy multiple-choice memory game, "Legends of the Hidden Temple" seems like it should have had more than just over a quarter of its episodes end with a win. That's because people fail to take into account the baffling Temple Run and its randomly-appearing Temple Guards, who could and did scare contestants so much they would occasionally have to stop filming to console sobbing children. While a burly stagehand in a fake feathered Aztec mask may not seem so intimidating to us today, consider that these kids had been spending most of the day in a bizarre, high-stress environment before being shunted into a Styrofoam maze and given confusing instructions by a giant stone puppet. In that situation, some guy leaping out of a bunch of foam peanuts and taking away your chance to visit Busch Gardens could be pretty hard to take.


Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? (1991-1995)
Crazy Kids Game Shows from the '80s and '90s, retro, where in the world is carmen sandiego
You wouldn't expect a wholesome and funny PBS TV show to expose children to anything more stressful than near-toxic amounts of acapella music, but the final round of "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" took what was once a simple geography and history quiz show and ramped it up to an insane test of athletic and intellectual skill. Kids had to place seven weirdly tall and awkward markers on the correct country on a giant unlabeled map, all within 45 seconds. Sounds doable? Sportswriter Jon Bois once compared it to the NFL Combine's "shuttle run" drill, a test of rapid acceleration and agility, except that while the shuttle runner has much less time for the drill, the geography kid had to cover more distance, change direction more often, carry something about the same size as his or herself, and during all this correctly remember where, say, Namibia was. Also, don't forget the game show awesome-ness of the doo-wop group Rockapella.


Finders Keepers (1987-1989)
Crazy Kids Game Shows from the '80s and '90s, retro, finders keepers
Combining the dreary chore of hidden-image puzzles with the panicked frenzy of rooting through a crumbling house to find valuable objects, "Finders Keepers" was one of Nickelodeon's few game show misfires. If a team successfully circled enough things on a telestrator, they got the chance to enter a giant prop house full of garbage and traps, searching through the collapsing rubble to find a hidden object that the host described with spoken clue, but if they found the wrong object, the prize money would automatically go to the other team. Despite not being particularly popular, the show produced a staggering 260 episodes during three seasons.


Nickelodeon GUTS (1992-1995)
Crazy Kids Game Shows from the '80s and '90s, retro, nickelodeon guts
Hosted by American comedian Mike O'Malley, "Nickelodeon GUTS" would have been an ordinary exhibition of standard athletic events except for one thing: bungee cords. Whether the cords were added to provide some measure of safety in the extreme events or in the hopes that it would make things more exciting, they mostly just proved to sling kids around in entirely random directions, turning a standard one-on-one game of basketball to a confused tangle of limbs and ropes. Nickelodeon later retooled the show as My Family's Got GUTS, providing an entirely new way for your parents to embarrass you in front of your friends.


Raven (2002-2010)
Crazy Kids Game Shows from the '80s and '90s, retro, raven
BBC's haggis-flavored adventure game show "Raven" is considered by some to be the spiritual successor to "Knightmare" for one, it's hosted by a ridiculous man with an amusing accent, and for another, it's almost entirely impossible, owing to the difficulty of the physical challenge "Way of the Warrior". Players swaddled in thick padding must waddle quickly through an assault course composed of dozens of tricky mechanical traps that either eliminate the "warrior" on touch or just knock him or her off the path, often into realistically cold and murky Scottish water. Over the course of 200 episodes, only four contestants have actually beaten the "Way of the Warrior", and amazingly, none of them actually won the show afterwards -- failing some other mental or physical challenge.


My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad (2008)
my dad is better than your dad, crazy kids game shows
Not strictly a kids game show, but this single-season family-friendly sports show gets included just for the guaranteed emotional trauma it could inflict on the three kids on each show who would inevitably learn that their dad was provably NOT better than other dads. Most of the challenges fell to the dads, with the kids acting in a secondary role (the "My Dad Is Smarter" trivia round had the kids buzz in but their dads answer, "My Dad Is Stronger" had the dads swing their children into a massive dartboard, etc.) which turned out to take an unexpected physical toll: during the third episode, front-running dad Al Gaines began visibly struggling to roll balls up a hill, and by the end of the round he was rushed to an ambulance to treat a heart attack. No word on whether he got the consolation prize of an Xbox 360.

Related: The Definitive Ranking of the 10 Best Game Show Hosts of All Time

 

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The 10 Most Insane Stories Of Rock Music Debauchery

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It's pretty awesome to be a rock star. You get to make money for jumping around in front of screaming fans hooting and hollering like an idiot. But with great power comes great responsibility, and rock stars have to uphold a reputation for balls-out mayhem. Here's ten incredible stories of hardcore partying and excess by rock 'n' roll royalty.

Nikki Sixx's Spaghetti Crotch
Rock Star Debauchery, Nikki Sixx
The Los Angeles metal scene of the 1980s was a hotbed for bad behavior, with long-haired Lotharios getting up to all kinds of hijinks. During the early days of Motley Crue, bassist Nikki Sixx and drummer Tommy Lee made a gross wager to see who could go the longest without showering. Days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, as the headbangers became increasingly caked with Sunset Strip scum. It all came to a head -- no pun intended -- when Nikki was receiving fellatio from a groupie and she got so nauseated that she threw up her spaghetti dinner all over his manhood and the undigested noodles got stuck in his pubic hair.


Slash's Pet Mountain Lion Trashes a Hotel
Rock Star Debauchery, Slash, Mountain Lion Trashes Hotel
When you start bringing in that major label money, it gives you carte blanche to follow any of your passions. Some rockers collect cars, some collect underage Thai prostitutes, but Guns & Roses guitarist Slash had more unconventional desires. He bought animals. At one point, Slash had nearly 100 exotic snakes living in his home, but the best story of the long-haired guitar god and an animal comes from G &R's world tour during which he picked up a mountain lion as a pet and brought it around the globe with the band. In Beijing, Curtis (the name of his exotic new pet) escaped from his cage and started tearing up his hotel suite until he could be sedated.


Steven Tyler Adopts His Underage Girlfriend
Rock Star Debauchery, Steven Tyler Adopts Girlfriend
Rock stars like 'em young, but Aerosmith's Steven Tyler takes that cliche to a disturbing level. In 1975, the singer became enamored with a 14-year-old groupie named Julia Holcomb, but statutory rape laws meant that the cops would interfere with anything he had planned. So Tyler, in an act of ballsiness that boggles the mind, actually convinced Holcomb's parents to sign over custody of their daughter to him. With the rock star as her new legal guardian, Julia moved to Boston and shacked up with Tyler for three years, eventually getting pregnant and having a traumatic '70s abortion.


The Who Destroy a Holiday Inn
Rock Star Debauchery, Keith Moon
One frequent target of rock star debauchery is the hotels they stay in after the show, and no musician was as hard on his lodgings as Who drummer Keith Moon. The most notorious tale of Moon being a bad hotel guest comes from a Flint, Michigan Holiday Inn that hosted the Who in 1967. The show at a local high school football stadium was on the day of Moon's 21st birthday and he got plastered, starting a massive food fight that spiraled out of control. Moon had a chunk of a tooth knocked out and was taken to the hospital, where he was refused anaesthetic due to the amount of alcohol in his system. While he was getting emergency surgery, the rest of the band trashed the hotel, destroying a piano and throwing furniture into the pool. They were presented with a bill of $24,000, which in 2015 dollars translates to $171,000.


Sid Vicious Shoots Up From the Toilet
Rock Star Debauchery, Sid Vicious
It's easy to forget that punk rock started out as something truly terrifying. Before Hot Topic got a hold of them, punkers were considered the absolute scum of the earth, and one story recounted in Legs McNeil's Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk demonstrates that. When Ramones bassist Dee Dee found himself in a London bathroom with his Sex Pistols counterpart Sid Vicious, Sid asked him if he had anything to get high off of. Dee Dee gave Sid some of his heroin, and Vicious proceeded to pull out a syringe, stick it into a filthy toilet full of urine and vomit, and use that liquid to shoot up.


Rick James Kidnappings
Rock Star Debauchery, Rick James
You'll see the white thread of cocaine winding through a good number of these stories. Colombian marchin powder inspires people to do all sorts of dumb stuff, but when you refine it into crack things really get wild. Ask funk pioneer Rick James, who was arrested in 1991 on torture charges for kidnapping and imprisoning a woman named Frances Alley and holding her hostage for two days in his home, forcing her to have sex and burning her with a hot crack pipe. James was busted again in 1993 for doing virtually the same thing to music executive Mary Sauger in a hotel room, because some people never learn.


Ozzy Osbourne Gets High On Ants
Rock Star Debauchery, Ozzy Osbourne
Here's another tale that involves the demonic influence of Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx, but let's be fair: he's basically an innocent bystander in this one. When the Crue were touring with Ozzy Osbourne in 1984 in support of Bark At The Moon, the legendary Sabbath singer showed the younger generation how it was done. Ozzy and Sixx proposed a gross-out contest that Osbourne promptly won by pulling out a straw and snorting a line of ants, then pissing on the floor and licking it up. Not to be beaten, Sixx pulled out his pecker and started peeing as well, only to be bested by Ozzy licking his urine as well.


Keith Richards Snorts His Father's Ashes
Rock Star Debauchery, Keith Richards
The Rolling Stones are some of the most notorious rock 'n' roll bad boys of all time, and their lead guitarist has done more drugs than many of us have had hot meals. Although tales of Keith getting so wasted he had to have a total blood transfusion are urban legends, the real deal is still uncontrollable. Probably the most bizarrely decadent moment in Keith's drug career came when he snorted up his dead father's ashes. When a stiff wind blew some of the cremains onto a table, Keith dipped a finger and honked them up his blowhole, sending his father into eternity with Colombia's finest export.


Zakk Wylde's Alcoholism Saves His Life
Rock Star Debauchery, Zakk Wylde
Typically, partying like a rock star is a quick trip to the grave, as the human body can only take so much before it gives out. Leave it to Black Label Society guitarist Zakk Wylde to turn that on its ear and actually have partying make him live longer. In 2009, Wylde was taken to the hospital during a tour after complaining of leg pain. Doctors found three huge blood clots in his leg, and after he got a full work-up Wylde was told that he'd been suffering from clotting for years, and in fact three massive clots had traveled through his heart and into his lungs. This would kill a normal man, but Zakk's prodigious intake of alcohol had kept his blood so thin over the years that the clots were able to pass without damage. Don't try this at home, guys.


Led Zeppelin's Shark In The Cootchie
Rock Star Debauchery, Led Zeppelin
One of the most notorious tales of hotel room excess comes courtesy of Led Zeppelin, the hard rock band that spawned a thousand imitators. When the Zep were touring in Seattle, their managers put them up at the Edgewater Inn, a classy hotel right on the banks of Puget Sound -- you can fish from some windows, where they pleasured a woman with a shark. The presence of fresh seafood gave the naughty lads an idea or two, and in a tale recounted in 1985 Zep bio Hammer of the Gods, the band proceeded to bring a comely redheaded groupie into their room and violate her privates with a mud shark.

All photos via Getty

Related: Rock History's Most Notoriously Terrible Lead Singers

 

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These Cringeworthy Facebook Fails Will Make You Want To Quit Social Media Forever

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People refuse to learn from the mistakes of others, so regardless of how many ridiculous things are said and posted on Facebook there will always be someone who ups the ante and says something that makes everyone that reads it cringe and hide their face in shame. Perhaps alcohol was involved in some of the situations below, or maybe people just don't think before doing things these days, but nevertheless, the folks below failed so hard on Facebook we can't help but feel completely embarrassed for them.

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Funny, Facebook, Facebook Fails, Cringeworthy Facebook Posts

Via Ebaum's World

They never learn: These Are Easily The Stupidest People On Facebook, Vol. 2

 

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The 10 Worst Things That Happen When You're In A Group Text

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Group texts are convenient for making plans or catching up with a few friends that don't often get to see each other, but when they go wrong, they go terribly wrong. Your life begins to crumble all around you, all because of this single thread. It's like the Hotel California because at first it was enticing but now you realize you can never leave. Here are the ten worst things that happen when you're in a group text.

1. At first it's not that bad at all.
You get rapid-fire jokes from your good friends and it feels like you're all in the same room. What could possibly go wrong in such a fun setting? Answer: so much.

2. You wake up first thing in the morning and you have 614 new messages.
Did someone die? Is it the apocalypse? Nope! It's just four of your friends that live in a different time zone chatting it up at all hours of the night.

The Ten Worst Things That Happen In A Group Text
3. When you get to work you can't keep your phone out because it's beeping every 7-14 seconds.
Everyone else is apparently watching "From Dust Till Dawn" together and live-texting it. You don't even like that movie, but now you've got running commentary for the next two hours.

4. What if you just put it on silent?
Nope. Now instead of beeping, you've got a vibration so violent it shakes the core of your being. Your battery used to last until you got home. Now it's on 7% by lunchtime. This is slowly ruining your life.

The Ten Worst Things That Happen In A Group Text
5. At some points, it's not even a group conversation.
There are just two of your friends mindlessly chatting with one another. Why do they feel the need to make all of us endure it? Just text with each other somewhere else. Or make an actual phone call.

The Ten Worst Things That Happen In A Group Text
6. The worst may be when a few members of the group start making plans to hang out.
However, the other people who live in a different city obviously can't attend, so they're just stuck there reading off a seemingly never-ending list of possible restaurants and times for others to hang out. It's like watching a foreign movie with no subtitles.

7. You start missing important texts.
Because every time your phone dings you just assume it's another message from the group text. Your mom thinks you hate her and your girlfriend just assumes you're cheating. You're slowly vanishing like one of Marty McFly's siblings.

The Ten Worst Things That Happen In A Group Text
8. You have to switch to unlimited data because the texts just don't stop.
Do your friends ever sleep? The kids on "A Nightmare on Elm Street" had a better sleep pattern than your group. What are they doing with their lives?

9. You can't leave the group chat because then everyone will think you hate them.
So now you have to choose between your phone being a constant source of frustration, including sorrow for the rest of your life, or cutting off some of your closest friends.

The Ten Worst Things That Happen In A Group Text
10. You do the only sensible thing you could possibly do in this scenario: grab your phone and toss it into the sun.
Only then will you truly be free from this devilish cage of torment. This is your ring. You are Frodo. Godspeed, young hobbit.

 

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This Girl Had A Severe Allergic Reaction To Hair Dye And The Pictures Are Ridiculous

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Plenty of people use hair dye; some use it to cover up those evil roots while some use it to hide the gray hairs that decide to appear on your head to remind you that you're old as hell (in case you forgot.) But the girl below didn't exactly get the results she wanted when she used hair dye, and it had nothing to do with her hair and everything to do with her face.

Here's the girl before she applied some hair dye and ruined her face:

Girl has allergic reaction to hair dye

And here's her miserable journey after using hair dye:

Girl has allergic reaction to hair dye
This is the day it occurred. She obviously went straight to the hospital.

Girl has allergic reaction to hair dye
Day two of her nightmare.

Girl has allergic reaction to hair dye
This is the end of day two. Not any closer to ending her nightmare.

Girl has allergic reaction to hair dye
Day three. Things have to get worse before they better it seems.

Girl has allergic reaction to hair dye
End of day three. Slowly but surely becoming human again.

Girl has allergic reaction to hair dye
Day four. I knew there was a human face under all that.

Girl has allergic reaction to hair dye
Day five. Not looking like Sloth from "The Goonies" anymore.

Via Imgur

This guy had his own nightmare, too: This Is What Happens When You're Allergic To Hair Dye

 

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Kids Reveal What Thanksgiving Means To Them And Some Are Completely On Point

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