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12 Celebrities Rumored To Be Terrible In Bed

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Sometimes it's nice to know that people held in high regard are really bad at something. While the reasons for this probably brew from envy or some other equally ugly trait, it's simply how these things work. We're human after all, and one person's success is another person's perceived failure. Of all classes of people, none are idolized more than the celebrity. This is why I've taken a look at many sources (some reputable) to find out which celebrities are piss-poor at sex. From the many sources consulted, these are the worst of the worst.

Hugh Hefner
Hugh hefner captain hat, hugh hefner sad
You'd think for a man with such experience with so many women that Hefner would be the lay of all lays. But multiple sources insist this couldn't be less true. Playmates Izabella St. James and Kendra Wilkinson both claim 89-year-old Hefner is a decrepit bore. In her novel/memoir, Wilkinson wrote: "I wanted to see if this experienced King of Sexdom knew anything the rest of us did not. He must know deep down that it is just a show. But he is trying to live out this fantasy he has been selling to people since 1954."


Angelina Jolie
12 Celebrities That Are Bad In Bed
Lara Croft a dud in bed? Say it ain't so! Angelina Jolie was dissed by ex-boyfriend Billy Bob Thorton who claimed, "Sometimes with the model, the actress, the 'sexiest person in the world,' it may be literally like fu**ing the couch." Since I've never personally f***ed my own couch, I can't officially say what this feels like. If you have, please let us know in the comments.


Jesse James
Celebrities That Are Bad In Bed
According to ex Brigitte Daguerre, James was a "dud in bed and only cared about himself." Which would make sense, considering the motorcycle enthusiast selfishly cheated on America's favorite actress, Sandra Bullock, and tat goddess Kat Von D (with 19 other women, according to her testimony).


Colin Farrell
Celebrities That Are Bad In Bed, colin farrell bad in bed
Judging by his accent, too-cool demeanor and stellar performance in his viral sex tape with playmate Nicole Narain, one would think Farrell would be a stud in the sack, but according to Woody Allen's former nanny who hooked up with the actor, he, too, was a selfish lover: "He didn't at all come across as a sex god who had slept with countless woman. If I didn't know better, I could almost have thought it was his first time. Once he'd got what he fancied, he'd just go to bed."


Charlie Sheen
12 Celebrities That Are Bad In Bed
It would appear that Sheen too, is a selfish lover -- must be a trait among famous men. Sheen's ex-wife and actress, Denise Richards, mentioned in an interview that he cared more about pleasuring himself than pleasuring her. She also wasn't a fan of him watching adult films during sex, which is something he did a lot.


Nick Lachey
12 Celebrities That Are Bad In Bed
According to ex and "Newlyweds" co-star Jessica Simpson, Lachey's performance wasn't bad, per se -- his package was. She confessed "Nick's small package was a problem sometimes. Like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn't really feel much, I faked the whole thing. I really felt sorry for him, I still loved him though."


Taylor Swift
Celebrities That Are Bad In Bed, taylor swift bad in bed
Despite being the biggest thing in pop music and dating many high-profile men, Taylor Swift is supposedly not that into sex. According to reports, One Directioner Harry Styles broke up with the 26-year-old because she was a prude. The source was quoted saying "While it was clear she obviously had a thing for Harry, Taylor didn't want to put out as often as he would've liked."


Brody Jenner
Celebrities That Are Bad In Bed, brody jenner bad in bed
Notorious reality star Brody Jenner hosts a sex show, "Sex With Brody", but according to his bedroom reviews, nobody, male or female, should be taking his unsolicited advice. Jenner's ex and "The Hills" co-star Kristin Cavallari claims he's very "vanilla" in the sack and doesn't venture far "outside the box." Whether this is to be taken literally (no anal, Brody?), I'm not too sure.


50 Cent
12 Celebrities That Are Bad In Bed
Evidently, if a celebrity hooks up with an exotic dancer, they'll still be exploited for cash. Go figure. According to an exotic dancer who had a piece of 50 cent, the bad boy rapper was half the man he claims to be, saying: "I had to tell him -- are we going to get it popping or are we going to talk? I couldn't believe it, here was 50, supposed to be all tough, acting like a 14 year old boy. 50 is definitely not packing. He's barely six inches. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give him a 3. He probably deserves lower than that, but I gave him extra points because he was respectful."


Paris Hilton
12 Celebrities That Are Bad In Bed
As evidenced by her sex tape, "One Night In Paris," Paris Hilton's over-the-top, in-your-face sexuality does not translate well into the bedroom. According to her ex and Backstreet Boy member Nick Carter, "She was a drunken prude who as far as I can see did not really like sex." He continued to say she "lacked confidence" and would often be too wasted to even perform.


Eminem
12 Celebrities That Are Bad In Bed
Mathers' much-rapped-about ex, Kim Mathers, got back at the rapper and music mogul by publicly dissing his manhood, admitting "He's not very well endowed. If you're going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work." Damn, Kim! Harsh.


Judd Apatow
12 Celebrities That Are Bad In Bed
Instead of being bashed by a bitter ex, Apatow took a strategic approach to his lackluster lovemaking, branding himself a poor lover before anybody else could. "I said to the girl after my first time, 'Hey, was it good for you, too?' And she said, 'Well, I guess it'll get better eventually.'" We'll have to assume he got much better, considering Apatow's married to funny babe Leslie Mann.

 

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This Guy Knows Exactly What He Would Do With His Powerball Winnings -- And It Is NSFW

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After no one won last night's $500 million Powerball jackpot, the drawing is now worth close to $675 million, and while I wouldn't even know what I would do with that absurd amount of money, the guy below didn't hesitate to respond to a Fox 5 reporter's question about what he would do with the money.

Check out the extremely honest answer below:


That man did not miss a beat.

h/t Uproxx

That's live TV for y'all: Woman Whose House Burnt Down Reveals Culprit On Live TV...And It's Awkward As Hell

 

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Philadelphia Woman Live Tweets Neighbor's Extremely Loud Sex

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There has to be some sort of rule that if you hear your neighbor having sex and it sounds like he or she is getting murdered or auditioning for a horror film you're allowed to live-tweet it all like the woman below did.

Writer and editor Stacey Ritzen was confronted with loud shrieks coming from the other side of her wall in what she assumed was her neighbor having very pleasurable or very painful sex. So she did with any other sane person living in this day and age would do: She shared it with the internet. Take a look at this bizarre journey, and make sure to grab some headphones first.



A lot it seems:
Solid investigating:
Although someone should seriously check on her:

Via HelloU

Maybe a tad too loud: British Woman Jailed For Being Too Loud During Sex

 

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The 10 Types Of Women Every Man Dates In His Life

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You date a few duds before finding "the one." Fairy tale narrative compares these dating foibles to "kissing a lot of frogs before finding your prince" concerning the fairer sex, but guys have done the same. We just don't use such a colorful metaphor. Anyone who has seen the show 'Man Seeking Woman,' knows that all men go through their own share of dating misadventures in our quest toward finding the one. Here are ten types of women every man will date in his lifetime.

1. The Stage-Five Clinger
The 10 Types Of Women Every Man Dates In His Life
We've all been with this girl. Probably more than once. She's the reason you don't bring your phone with you for fear of incessant calling in the rare instances you're allowed out, and her ultimate goal is to rid you of all friends so she can have you, her [insert nauseating pet name here], all to herself.

2. The Girl With The Intimidating Family
The 10 Types Of Women Every Man Dates In His Life
This girl has six older brothers and a dad who could smash your skull in for fun. Dating her has gone smoothly, but you're apprehensive to meet the family because her older brothers all resemble "Of Mice And Men's" Lenny and she's the only daughter, so they'll protect her with their lives -- even if that means ending yours.

3. The Party Girl
The 10 Types Of Women Every Man Dates In His Life
She's a sloppy, drunken mess. If it's the weekend, she'll be out with her girls, pounding shots of Grey Goose and Snapchatting photos of the evening so she can remember these events the following morning. You liked her because she was fun -- you probably met her at a bar -- but you don't talk much because whenever you even attempt to engage in a conversation she passes out at the bar and is then escorted out by security.

4. The Quasi-Nun

While a free, sober ride home from the pub sounds appealing, dating a girl who doesn't drink (or do much of anything aside from cuddling you and speaking in a baby voice) means she will eventually resent you for partying. This is the girl who will make you feel guilty every time you go out with the guys and will only consent to sex if you've done everything right by her.

5. The Girl Who Thinks She's The One
The 10 Types Of Women Every Man Dates In His Life
She wants to settle down and get married, like, yesterday. Since you're the current dude in her life, she's pressing fast-forward on this relationship. It will take just a few months before she asks where you see this relationship going, and if she doesn't hear what she wants to hear, you'll hear her 80th monologue on why you two are perfect together without so much as getting a word in edgewise.

6. The Insecure Hot Girl
The 10 Types Of Women Every Man Dates In His Life
She's gorgeous, but super insecure. It takes her hours to get ready, she's a total drama queen, and she always wants to have sex with the lights off. On top of these atrocities, she's jealous as hell, asking the identities of any and all women in your presence and incessantly accusing you of cheating on -- or not loving -- her.

7. The Catfish
The 10 Types Of Women Every Man Dates In His Life
If you've dated in the digital age, you've undoubtedly dated a catfish (basically, somebody who greatly misrepresents themselves online). These lies could be directed toward their appearance (lying about age, posting images of themselves 10 years ago), or they could even be misrepresenting themselves emotionally, saying they're "not the jealous type" or they're "not looking for anything serious." Within a date or two, the catfish is usually exposed for the lowest form of human scum they are, and are sent on their merry way to ruin someone else's dating life while settled in a dark basement in their parent's home.

8. The Social Media Enthusiast
The 10 Types Of Women Every Man Dates In His Life
You've gone on a few dates, and the relationship is already Facebook official. On Instagram, you're her #mcm every Monday and any opportunity you have for a photo op, she'll take with the enthusiasm of a tween attending a Taylor Swift concert, taking hundreds of photos until finding the one she looks best in. After that, she'll fiddle for hours on end with photo adjustments and filters. When the image is finally posted and you don't "like" it, you guys are pretty much over.

9. The Town Bicycle
elizabeth banks, 40 year old virgin
You went on a few dates with this girl and she seemed pretty cool. It's just an added bonus she's super hot as well. Unfortunately for you, she's earned herself a reputation around town and you're the chump who's taking this very "popular" lovely lady on a date to get in her pants while everybody else had put much less -- if any -- effort into doing the same. Wherever you go, gentlemen callers will approach your date and speak to her in a somewhat awkward yet inappropriate tone evidencing that he, too, has bed the person you're currently dining with.

10. The One You Settled For
The 10 Types Of Women Every Man Dates In His Life
You're not really attracted to her physically and her personality is kind of okay, but you figure time is running out and you probably won't do much better than her anyway. As such, you date her a while longer to see if time can somehow spark feelings of attraction with your far less romanticized version of "the one."

In "Man Seeking Woman," it's not the women who are at fault, it's the show's protagonist Josh (Jay Baruchel) screwing up numerous love connections. Watch Josh flub his way through dates, awkward encounters, and every other type of female interaction as he looks for "the one" during Season 2 of "Man Seeking Woman," Wednesday's at 10:30pm on FXX.man seeking woman

 

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The Funniest GIFs Of The Week

Live News Report Features San Diego Man Losing His Mind Over His Flooded Car

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Mudslides, floods and road closures are continuing to occur as heavy rain falls in Southern California. Many people are staying off the roads, but apparently one guy didn't get the memo as he was clearly caught by surprise when he discovered his car underwater in a flooded mall parking lot.

Check out this guy's hilarious and understandable reaction to his car's current status while Gene Kang from CBS 8 was reporting about the heavy rain and flooding from the parking lot:


Yelling your favorite swear word over and over is the best way to show everyone how seriously pissed off you are.

h/t Someecards

Another way to show your displeasure: Pissed Off Guy Smashes Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG With Golf Club

 

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What You Post On Facebook vs. What Your Parents Think Your Post Means

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Facebook is a great way to keep up with people from all parts of your life and find out which of your high school friends have gotten super fat. That may sound rude, but you know it's how you spend most of your time on there. However, the problem with Facebook happens when your parents decide to make an account and start reading everything you post. They don't know when you're kidding and they don't know your friends, so you quickly start getting a bunch of bizarre and concerned questions from them. Here's a look at what you post on Facebook versus what your parents think your Facebook post actually means.

what you post on facebook chart, what you post on facebook vs parents
More: Being Single At A Bachelor Party vs. Being A Groom (To Be) At A Bachelor Party

 

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Chilean Reporter Jumps Into Ocean On Live TV And Loses Her Top

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If there is one way to get everyone talking about a random news report from Chile, having a bikini-clad reporter jump into the ocean is probably the number one way to do that.

Bernardita Middleton works for "Good Morning Everyone," reporting on all things Chile, and while doing a segment from the coastal town of Renaca, her coworkers back in the warm and cozy studio told her she should jump into the icy waters of the Pacific. And because Bernardita never backs down from a Chilean challenge (which could also be the name of a great drinking game), she did it the best way she could, but ended up losing her top in the process.


Bernardita was clearly prepared because she had a bikini under her dress, but she wasn't prepared to lose her top to the almighty ocean.

Now if only Chile would take Matt Lauer from us in exchange for Bernardita.

h/t Uproxx

Now let's watch a hot weather girl play volleyball: Hot Weather Girl Yanet Garcia Plays Volleyball In Tiny Shorts

 

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Melanie Iglesias Is Officially The World's Most Beautiful

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Melanie Iglesias is definitely the kind of girl you might refer to as the most beautiful woman in the world, but Slickforce TV has made it official by offering up the fifth and final chapter of extended cuts with Melanie on World's Most Beautiful. If you like rough cuts and black lace lingerie, you're in for a special treat. Check out the behind-the-scenes shoot with Nick Saglimbeni as he captures every sexy angle of the world-renowned beauty. And if you didn't catch part four, we added it below just for you.

 

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Michigan Couple Gets Engaged At Walmart Then Steals Sex Toys From Spencer's Gifts

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That sounds about right.

According to The Smoking Gun, a 25-year-old Bay City man proposed to his girlfriend at Walmart last week and then spent New Year's Eve in jail with his new fiancee after the couple was busted stealing sex toys from Spencer's Gifts inside the Bay City Mall across the street.

couple arrested for stealing sex toys, walmart spencers gifts
Police said they responded to a shoplifting complaint at Spencer's last Wednesday, but the couple fled the scene before they arrived. They first caught up with 20-year-old Sheri Moore, who told them she didn't take anything from the store despite the fact that she was found with stolen jewelry in her pockets.

A short while later, they found William Cornelius sleeping at a food court table inside the mall, apparently having passed out while tying his shoes. Police searched him and found $80.63 worth of stolen merchandise from Spencer's, including a "Bride-To-Be" thong, a $14.99 vibrator, "BJ Blast" oral sex candy, and a $5.99 edible thong.

Cornelius told police he had stolen the items for his fiancee and that he had just proposed to her at the Walmart across the street. Police reviewed the surveillance footage there, and sure enough, there was Cornelius purchasing a $29.62 engagement ring and using the store's public address system (with permission) to propose to Moore.

Moore was charged with misdemeanor larceny and eventually told police that Cornelius ganked everything. Cornelius was hit with a misdemeanor charge of retail fraud and then told police he did it because of ... wait for it ... Tramadol he had been given during a recent hospital visit.

But, hey, obviously the most important thing here is that they love each other.

Why drop $100 on pay-per-view boxing when you can just go to your local Walmart? Two Women And A Kid Get In Giant Brawl Inside Indiana Walmart (NSFW Language)

 

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Filipino Man Stoked To Find Out Woman Who Hit His Truck Is His Favorite Porn Star

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It looks as though Christmas came (every pun intended) just a tad late for one Filipino man this year.

As the man was driving his truck on a busy street last week, it was struck by another commuter. But instead of losing his mind over a collision that wasn't his fault, the man was overjoyed when he found out the woman behind the wheel of the car that hit him was his favorite Japanese porn star, Maria Ozawa.

Maria Ozawa car accident, maria ozawa porn
The star of such films as "Restraint Chair Lesbian," "Torture With Sperm 2," and "Double-Headed Dildo Zubozuboshikoshikoonani" seemed to be both apologetic and relieved that the guy she just hit was so calm about the ordeal.


Hopefully, Ozawa took down the man's contact information and sent him a personalized picture similar to this one for being so chill about the whole thing:

maria ozawa car accident, maria ozawa porn
Minus the black boxes, of course.

h/t Death and Taxes

We watch a whole lotta porn on this planet: These 2015 Year In Review Porn Stats Will Blow Your Mind

 

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Irina Shayk Celebrated A Birthday But Gave Us All This Present

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Sure, some people may get depressed at the thought of turning 30 years old, but not when you're a smoking hot Russian model and actress. In that case you just showcase your body even more. That's a mindset I think we are all OK with.

Just turning 30 yesterday, Irina Shayk, who has appeared in numerous Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues, wanted to share a picture of herself on her Instagram as a gift to us instead. This is a reminder to us all that she's as hot as she was at 29. These are reminders we can all embrace:

2016 lets go

A photo posted by irinashayk (@irinashayk) on


Hot models giving us gifts on their birthday is a tradition I can get used to.

Let's celebrate this, too: Irina Skayk Gets Wet And 'Shayks' It For Sports Illustrated

 

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Weird News: Australian Man Keeps Trying To Make A Penis His Official Signature

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You know things are going well in the world when this makes the news.

According to BroBible, a 33-year-old heavy vehicle driver in Victoria has been fighting with officials for five years in an effort to get a drawing of a penis to be his official signature.

Australian man tries to make penis his official signature

Australian man tries to make penis his official signature
Jared Hyams said it all started when he signed an election form with a dick and thought it was just something funny to do. The Australian Electoral Commission didn't find it very amusing and told him he couldn't do it anymore. He decided to appeal their decision, but it was thrown out for being a "waste of taxpayer's money."

"It sparked something in me," Dyams said. "I didn't understand if these people were offended or had taken it personally."

Undeterred, Dyams tried passing a penis as his signature on another government document. But the Department of Trade and Foreign Affairs refused to process his application for a passport and threatened him with jail time because "images of a sexual nature on official paperwork could constitute sexual harassment of government staff."

Finally, Dyams had the breakthrough he was looking for when he was able to slip a dick signature past the crew at the DMV, and it's been smooth sailing ever since. He now has used a penis drawing for a signature on "his federal government-issued health care card, to open a bank account, become a member of a library and apply for various student identity cards."

Congratulations?

Here are 500 dicks working together to make one big one: A Genius Made A Portrait Of Donald Trump Using 500 Dick Pics

 

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Meet Taylor Ross, The Bieber Family Nanny Who Is Also A Hot Canadian Sorority Girl

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Justin Bieber has a way with bringing hot females to the world's attention.

Whether it's stalking (err, asking his 47 million Instagram followers) on social media to track down a hot female fan and her ending up with nearly 1 million likes on Instagram, or taking a photo with a girl and her not being prepared for it, one thing's for sure -- Justin Bieber has a knack for discovering attractive women. Enter the Justin Bieber family's nanny, Taylor Ross.


Meet Taylor Ross, the Justin Bieber Family's Hot Canadian Nanny and Sorority Girl

According to BroBible, Taylor Ross is a member of the Pi Beta Phi sorority at Western Ontario University "who (to some capacity) served as the Bieber family nanny."

She appears to confirm this by using the hashtag "#thenanny" in a post in her Instagram account where she wrote about her eyes closed photo (above) with Biebs: "When you aren't ready for the photo and it ends up with literally a million likes...."

And she likes to take lots of pictures on Instagram with herself in a bikini (much to our delight):

Finally 2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣6️⃣

A photo posted by TR (@taylorsrross) on



I guess I kinda like my job #thenanny #jazzy #rythmgirls

A photo posted by TR (@taylorsrross) on




🦀


A photo posted by TR (@taylorsrross) on




A photo posted by TR (@taylorsrross) on




Thanks @themasqline for the body suit

A photo posted by TR (@taylorsrross) on



COME BACK TO ME 😂

A photo posted by TR (@taylorsrross) on


She kind of looks like Heather Graham in a hot Canadian sorority girl sort of way, don't you think?

Related: Justin Bieber Stalked This Girl On Social Media And Now She's Famous

 

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Watch This Lamborghini Gallardo Blast Through An El Niño Flood In San Diego

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Lamborghini Gallardo Rides Through El Nino Flood

So, yeah, El Niño has arrived -- the irregularly occurring storm system that pounds most of Southern California with gobs of torrential rain -- which means most of us drivers in the Southland have had to turn our windshield wipers to ... two.

While many Southern Californians have had to commute in rainstorms, most don't do it in a Lamborghini Gallardo. One Lambo was put to the test in San Diego when Mother Nature came a knockin' on one flooded intersection, and the results are pretty captivating.

Take a look at the 33-second video that has gone viral on social media.


Looks like this Lambo owner wasn't too concerned with the water clogging up his pricey baby. Matter of fact, he owned that puddle.

Related: This Lamborghini Gold Digger Prank Is Hysterical Yet Sad At The Same Time

 

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Today's Funny Photos

Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows

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It's a new year, which means you need a new fix, preferably of the TV variety. That's the best time to call on us, especially when winter TV is back with great programming. With new shows like NBC's "The Office"-esque "Superstore," Jane Lynch's "Angel From Hell" and Rashida Jones' "Angie Tribeca," as well as returning classics like "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," already underway, there's plenty of reasons to hibernate with your TV on for the next few months.

Shameless (Jan. 10, Showtime)
Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows, Shameless
Frank and the Gallaghers are back for a sixth season after things got real last year. With Ian's diagnosed bipolar disorder, Lip hitting up his smoking hot professor and Carl getting out after his first stint in juvey, season six is set to take the family further apart, but just as effed up, if not much more. Also, we get more topless Emmy Rossum, which is worth the Showtime subscription alone.


Billions (Jan. 17, Showtime)
Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows, Billions
The following week, Showtime will unload its new star-studded show, featuring Damian Lewis -- he's in the running for the next James Bond movie -- from "Homeland," Malin Akerman, "Sons of Anarchy" babe Maggie Siff and the veteran Paul Giamatti. The show follows money, sex, power and hedge funds, which are all connected in the world of "Billions."


Baskets (Jan. 21, FX)
Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows, Baskets
Zach Galifianakis is the star of a new original comedy that will have everyone binging. Created by him and Louis C.K., the show follows a failed clown into his pathetic little hole of existence, which is sometimes downright hilarious. With Galifianakis and his usual deadpan humor, the tone of the series is bleak in the funniest way possible, and the expected appearances by Louis C.K. and other similar comedy types only make it more so.


Portlandia (Jan. 21, IFC)
Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows, Portlandia
Everybody loves it, and I don't get it, but Fred Armisen, Carrie Brownstein and their unabashed costume closet are wide open and ready for a sixth season of "Portlandia." We'd tell you it's going to be unique and cool, but that is frowned upon as a basis for the show, is it not?


The X-Files (Jan. 24, Fox)
Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows, The X-Files
David Duchovny is double-agenting his off-time from NBC's "Aquarius" to give us a short-lived reunion to "X-Files," likely the most talked-about reunion, other than Guns N Roses attempting to headline Coachella, in 2016. The decade-long show has been off air since 2002, but everything that dies gets revived, as Gillian Anderson teams up with her fellow alien manhunter for six quick episodes. Gives everyone a chance to see more of Scully's lazy eye!


Outsiders (Jan. 26, WGN)
Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows, Outsiders
Fans of anarchy and lawlessness will be thrilled at this anti-Wi-Fi era sparked in the modern day society of Appalachia. Starring bearded "Sons of Anarchy" biker Ryan Hurst and a clan of outlaws living off the grid, and also starring David Morse and Joe Anderson, "Outsiders" focuses on a struggle for survival and a rugged way of life by whatever means possible.


American Crime Story: The People V. O.J. Simpson (Feb. 2, FX)
Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows, American Crime Story: OJ Simpson
Cuba Gooding Jr. will play O.J. Simpson in the true crime story about the former football fame of Simpson, who turned into a convicted prisoner. The FX original takes us down the path of some of history's most famous criminals, kicking off with a throwback to the 1990s and Simpson's murder case, featuring John Travolta as Robert Shapiro, David Schwimmer as Robert Kardashian and Selma Blair as Kris Jenner.


Vinyl (Feb. 14, HBO)
Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows, Vinyl
Directed by Martin Scorsese and written by Terence Winter, "Vinyl" brings rock 'n' roll in this new HBO flick. With the mind of Mick Jagger, the look of David Bowie and the soul of rock 'n' roll on every frame, "Vinyl" rocks right down to the bone with Bobby Cannavale, Olivia Wilde and Paul Ben-Victor trying to get it right as music takes a big turn in ever conceivable way.


Better Call Saul (Feb. 15, AMC)
Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows, Better Call Saul
We saw Vince Gilligan's setup for the creation of Saul Goodman, and now we're about to get deeper into the law-unabiding world of the former Jimmy McGill as the gray area gets a bit grayer. Last season ended with Jimmy losing his best friend and taking Mike in (a little), and season two will likely build a thicker bond between the two semi-passive criminals as Jimmy becomes a little more Saul. Season two has been pretty hush about guest appearances, but don't be surprised if a few "Breaking Bad" B-characters pop up, along with some brightly colored collared shirts and desert meetups.


11.22.63 (Feb. 15, Hulu)
Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows, 11.22.63
Hulu has its own original series starring James Franco on the way. Brought to us by J.J. Abrams and based on Stephen King's work of a time traveler sent to prevent the assassination of John F. Kennedy, the eight-part miniseries will stream with wild tales of '60s culture and modern day sci-fi fantasy.


Fuller House (Feb. 26, Netflix)
fuller house, winter tv 2016
We take it back. This is the most talked about reunion, as we watch the Tanner family come back home to the exact same living room. Don't these people ever redecorate? We'll get a look into the fast forwarded lives, probably just as PG as the '90s, of daddy Danny (played by the now-openly-an-asshole Bob Saget, alongside Uncle Jesse and Joey and the girls (some of them). Oh, and that annoying neighbor that every '90s family series had. The only question now is: Can we tune out Saget's dirty jokes while we watch him OCD dust and mop the house for an entire season?


House of Cards (Mar. 4, Netflix)
Winter TV Is Back With Chillingly Good Shows, House of Cards
Frank Underwood may have won the presidential battle, but he lost the war when Claire walked out on him. Season four resumes with Frank continuing on as president while still keeping his secrets shoved way down deep. As he continues to struggle to keep everyone happy, himself out of harm's way and his wife on his side, we'll see how far he falls from grace as his skeletons start to knock a little louder with each episode. What we want to know is if Claire will squeal. That has multiple interpretations, thank you -- and goodnight.

Related: 10 Upcoming Franchise Revivals 10+ Years In The Making

 

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13 Women Share Strange Ways They Got Rid Of A Guy Hitting On Them

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Some guys just can't take a hint. They're told by a lady that she's not interested, but he figures if he asks 60-70 more times then maybe she'll come around. A Reddit thread asked women to share the most bizarre or outrageous line they've had to use to get rid of a persistent fella. Here are some of the best.

1. Here's My Number
"Had a guy snatch my phone out of my hands to call himself so he'd have my number. He called me everyday for months without fail with various invites to parties, date nights, casual sex, etc.
His number always showed as private, and I had no idea how to stop him. He knew I had a boyfriend from one of the times I answered his calls... over a week or two I started to chat casually and suggested we could meet up. All a part of the plan.
After a week or so, he called me up and I made sure to sound so excited. Lied and told him I was pregnant.
Never heard from him again. Thank goodness. Crazy bastard."

Strange Ways Girls Try To Get Rid of Guys

2. A Change of Heart
"When me and my S.O. were at a bar one day with some friends a really drunk guy came up to her and started being really sexual and very up close, before I could get up to even say anything she got up and stood in his face (Note she's about 5'2 110 pounds, not very intimidating) and says to him 'Sorry as soon as I saw you I realized I'm lesbian, so leave me the fuck alone.' He left pretty pissed off but all of us loved it."


3. If All Else Fails, Get Weird
"I say this because I feel that if someone doesn't take my literal words of 'I'm sorry, I'm not interested' then shit's gonna get weird. I told a guy tonight it was a beautiful moon and he should remember to get his crystals out to charge them."


4. You Remind Me of Someone
"I tell them they remind me of my brother. Never fails. That is, unless they're REALLY into 'Game of Thrones.'"

Strange Ways Girls Try To Get Rid of Guys

5. That's Scary
"This is a last resort, but if I've told a guy multiple times I'm not interested and he won't stop, I just lean in and start screaming full volume in his face like I'm possessed. I know I look crazy, but damn dude, take a hint."


6. Ready to Settle Down
"One time this guy would just not stop so I told him I was pregnant and I wanted him to be the father and raise it as his own, but I had been drinking the whole night so it was definitely going to have some health problems so he needed to be prepared for that. He did not ask for my number again."


7. Throw Your Hands Up
"Sometimes if I'm at a club and a guy comes up and grabs me (which is crazy in the first place) I have to resort to literally throwing my hands up in the air and repeatedly yelling 'I'm gay, I'm gay!' to get them to back off."

Strange Ways Girls Try To Get Rid of Guys

8. Ruthless
"I was a bit of a bitch in my younger days. Some of the things I've done include:
  • (Falsely) telling a guy I was a lesbian
  • Throwing mint imperials at a guy until he stopped asking
  • Telling a guy I was going out with his hotter, French deskmate
  • Actually going out with said deskmate to get someone else to stop asking
  • One time a guy drew a picture of me and gave it to me. I told him it was shite but I did put it in my bag and keep it for a while. "

9. Three Lines That Always Work
"I try all three of these: I'm not interested. I have a boyfriend. I'd rather fuck a porcupine."

Strange Ways Girls Try To Get Rid of Guys

10. Back in the Day
"In my clubbing days I had the number to Time and Temp memorized. So that's what I would give to dudes that pestered the shit out of me for my phone number. This was back before cell phones. I'm old."


11. That's Sad
"Tell him you love him and you're ready for a long-term relationship. Hey, it worked on all my boyfriends so why not on random guys as well?"

Strange Ways Girls Try To Get Rid of Guys


12. Dude and Bro
"I just start calling him 'dude' and 'bro' over and over and offering him high fives. It gets them every time."


13. Ice Cold
"Looked him dead in the eyes and said, 'I am unable to feel pain and human emotion' when he commented on my choice of iced coffee in the middle of a snowstorm."

Related: The Ultimate Guide To Foolproof Pickup Lines

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

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Another year, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.


Want more? Check out our last batch of hilarious tweets.

 

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We Know It's Early, But This Has To Be The Worst Tattoo Of 2016

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If you thought getting the name of the girl you've been dating for two weeks tattooed was a terrible idea, you haven't heard of a lad named Jack Woodman; he probably has the worst tattoo you will ever see.

Getting set to appear on the upcoming series "Bodyshockers," Woodman definitely set out to shock everyone when he got a massive back tattoo of him doing his favorite activity. Take a look at his "masterpiece" below:


Yep. Good ole Jack thought it would be fun to not only get a huge tattoo of himself on his back, but to get a tattoo of him going downtown on a lady's ass. He even put up the peace sign for added measure. I'm thinking there's a lifetime ban in the near future for Jack at all local pools and beaches.

h/t The Lad Bible

So many regrets: The 20 Worst Tattoos Of Celebrities

 

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