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Jeb Bush Just Tweeted A Picture Of A Gun And Here Are The Funniest Responses

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Well, something tells me this won't help his poll numbers.

For some apparent reason, (former?) presidential candidate Jeb Bush decided to post a picture of a gun with his name on it. And if that wasn't bad enough he captioned the photo "America." Take a look at the tweet below:


Of course the Internet wasn't going to let Jeb get away with that and responded to his tweet in the most hilarious ways. Check out some of the best reactions below:












Probably not as bad as this: Ted Cruz Tries To Give His Daughter A Hug And It's The Most Awkward Thing Ever

 

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Good Samaritan Rescues Neighbor's Dog...Possibly

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If you've ever tried to catch a runaway dog, you know how difficult a task it can be, especially if it doesn't want to be caught. No one understands this better than the person who wrote the following letter to their neighbor. After attempting to do a good deed for what we can only assume was several minutes, they realized that it was a lost cause. Or at the very least, no longer their problem.

dog in garage note, man leaves dog in neighbor's garage
Of course, there is still the matter of whether or not the neighbor actually saw the note. Oh well.

(via Imgur)

Related: How To Find Your Lost Dog The Quick And Easy Way

 

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Today's Funny Photos

This Is The Most Helpful Thing Any Cat Has Ever Done

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Look, if there's a mouse running around my living room I'm going to call a cat. Or if I need something to just stare at me while I'm dying I'm also going to call a cat. And those are the two things a cat is useful for. Well, that's until I saw this Vine.

Check out how useful Brandon Kutzke's cat was when it came to setting up a home entertainment system, in a Vine that has been viewed 62 million times (and counting):


Every home entertainment system should come with this cat.

h/t Someecards

Although, they are also good at reenacting scenes from classic movies: 'Wizard of Cat' Is Worth Watching At Least 50 Times In a Row

 

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Teenage Basketball Player Impaled By Gym Floor During Game

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When you go to see a middle school basketball game, the last thing you'd expect is to actually watch the game, but the second-to-last thing you'd expect is to witness a girl get impaled by a piece of broken gym floor, and that's exactly what happened to a girl in Wisconsin.

The 14-year-old girl was taking part in a girls' basketball tournament in Middleton when she was impaled by the piece of flooring after falling. Check out the video below, and don't worry, it's SFW:


Glad she's OK, but I think she's going to tell her mom she's switching to soccer. Nothing interesting happens there.

h/t Deadspin

This was expected: Chinese Basketball Player Tries to Dunk Over Five Guys But Fails Miserably

 

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We Learned Many Things About Sex From A Match.com Survey

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For the better part of the decade, Match.com has released the results of their annual Singles In America survey, which has become one of the most respected polls in the dating industry. This year proved no different. For the 2016 edition, 5,054 singles were polled and many insightful discoveries were revealed. For instance, the fact that online daters are 93 percent more likely to get married than other daters. See? That's a big deal! In addition to this significant piece of information, these are some of the most revealing findings from this year's survey.

1. Food And Drink Can Greatly Impact Your First Date
We Learned Many Things About Sex From A Match.com Survey
The first date could be the beginning of something beautiful. Alternatively, it could also be the beginning of the end. To ensure it's the former, take her out for dinner or drinks. Those who don't do either on a first date were found to be 107 percent less likely to go on a second date.

Don't know where to go? Grab sushi -- this alone increased chances of a second date by 107 percent. Add a few cocktails for another 137 percent. If sushi's not your thing, no problem. "Expensive restaurants" better your odds by 50 percent.


2. Men Don't Expect Sex After The First Date
We Learned Many Things About Sex From A Match.com Survey
Despite the fairer sex possibly believing otherwise, men for the most part don't expect to have sex on the first date, only 6 percent said they do.

But to better your odds at getting laid, know that 60 percent of singles prefer an evening date. Also worth mentioning: 39 percent want to do their date on Saturday night, but 34 percent prefer Friday night. As for what women want at the end of the first date? It's a kiss. Fifty percent of men and women said a "good" date should end with a kiss. But don't take things any further. Only 7 percent of women want to make out at the end of a date.

3. Politics Plays A HUGE Role In Sex And Dating Success
We Learned Many Things About Sex From A Match.com Survey
Knowledge of politics is power! Talking about politics proved to better the chances of a second date by 91 percent. And despite being taboo first-date conversation, 80 percent of singles believe chats about politics, money and religion are fair game.

Singles into politics proved to be a freaky bunch. Fifty-seven percent of them were more likely to explore an open relationship and were 110 percent more likely to engage in a threesome. A threesome!

Who you support proved revealing as well. Hillary supporters were 129 percent more likely to drink wine and 606 percent more likely to be gay. On the other hand, Trump supporters were 79 percent more likely to drink beer and 82 percent more likely to be unemployed. Who's side are you on?

4. Let's Talk About Sex, Baby:
We Learned Many Things About Sex From A Match.com Survey
Three-quarters of us had lost our virginity by 21, while 44 percent of us had cashed in our v-cards by 18. As for how many people we've dated, 50 percent of people have had six or less partners, and as many as one in four people have had sex with an ex. A lot of people, 46 percent, are into the convenience of a "friends with benefits" relationship. And who can blame them? No strings.

While "friends with benefits" is something of a millennial creation, baby boomers are no prudes. They were found 118 percent more likely to have a one-night stand on vacation and 53 percent more likely to have a threesome compared to millennials.

On the other hand, 165 percent of millennials are more likely than baby boomers to have filmed sex and are 236 percent more likely to be totally drunk for their first hookup. Also, in case you ever wanted to, 16 percent of women are open to the idea of making a sex tape. Looking for a location to film? Forty-eight percent of men have had sex in public. So if you're not part of that large minority, get on it!


5. Let's Find Out More About Ourselves:
We Learned Many Things About Sex From A Match.com Survey
According to those who sleep with us, here's what the ladies are looking for in a partner. For younger men, ladies like their men with beards (43 percent), but many also like him clean-shaven (73 percent). While 40 percent of women appreciate a man who manscapes. As for older dudes, ladies like him grey (55 percent) and clean-shaven (77 percent). Also, a surprising 34 percent are down with the dad bod.

As for what men want, a good amount of us want children. Twenty-seven percent of guys said they are "sure" they want kids someday. Men were also found to be 66 percent more likely to imagine a future with a lady on a real date, and 50 percent of men are also a-okay with dating an ex's friend, though only 25 percent of women are.


6. Millennial Buzzwords Prove Effective As Well
We Learned Many Things About Sex From A Match.com Survey
Want to score a second date by doing next to nothing? Sure you do. Sometimes, all you have to do is say the right thing. Match's survey revealed the following buzzwords prove to better your odds at a second date: "Netflix and Chill" (99 percent), "Bae" (64 percent) and "Ghost" (63 percent). Seems easy enough; just toss some of these words into conversation. Boom. Done. She's all yours.

 

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New York Man Loses Wallet, Gets Most Of It Back...With Hilarious Return Note

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Reilly Flaherty probably didn't expect to see his wallet again after losing it at a Wilco concert in Brooklyn, but thanks to an extremely honest man Reilly got his wallet back...sort of.

After losing his wallet, the 28-year-old received a letter in the mail two weeks later that included his lost credit cards, his driver's license and one hilarious note. Check out the note below thanks to Reilly's Instagram:

thanks.. I think?

A photo posted by reilly flaherty (@reillyflaherty) on


"Dear Reilly Flaherty, I found your wallet and your drivers license and your address so here's your credit cards and other important stuff," the note reads. "I kept the cash because I needed weed, the metrocard because well the fare's $2.75 now, and the wallet cause it's kinda cool. enjoy the rest of your day. Toodles, Anonymous."

Any man that ends a letter with "toodles" deserves all the respect.

While Reilly found the note funny, he was still pretty pissed off about losing his cash and wallet:

"I would say, 'Man we would've gotten along -- we're both into Wilco -- but you turned out to be super selfish,' " he tells the NY Post. "It speaks to the New York mentality: I'm going to be nice but there's going to be an asterisk."

"Whether it was a dollar or a thousand, [this person] is a pot-smoking, modern-day version of Robin Hood," he adds.

Well, maybe carry a coin pouch next time like a real man.

Or you can handle it this way: Kentucky Man Poses As Cop After Prostitute Steals His Wallet Then Gets Tased By Real One

 

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Woman's Idea To Keep Other Women Away From Her Boyfriend Is Very 'In Your Face'

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I don't think he's a big fan of his Valentine's Day gift.

In case other people couldn't tell that the pair below are together, a woman thought it would be a smart idea to make the message clear that her guy is taken by having a T-shirt made with her face printed on it. Oh, and she made sure to print her face on it two more times in case you missed the huge one in the center. Take a look at the picture below posted on imgur.

Here's How One Woman Keeps Other Others Away From Her Boyfriend
The woman also decided to add the words, "If you are reading this you are too close. I have a girlfriend."

Well, at least she's attractive in a "I may suffocate you with our decorative pillow while you sleep" kind of way.

Or you can take this route: This Girl Just Created The Best Way To Keep Her Boyfriend Honest When He Goes Out With His Buddies

 

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One-Line Summaries Of Famous Historical Figures

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Remember those little notecards you used in high school to study for tests? Here's a more simplified version of that. For the record, we don't consider these to be the most "influential" people who have ever lived -- only historical figures that could easily be summed up in only a few words.

Buddha
one-line summaries famous historical figures, buddha

Walt Disney
one-line summaries famous historical figures, walt disney

Abraham Lincoln
one-line summaries famous historical figures, abraham lincoln

Cleopatra
one-line summaries famous historical figures, cleopatra

Isaac Newton
one-line summaries famous historical figures, isaac newton

Malcolm X
one-line summaries famous historical figures, malcolm x

Elvis Presley
one-line summaries famous historical figures. elvis presley

Genghis Khan
one-line summaries famous historical figures, genghis khan

Winston Churchill
one-line summaries famous historical figures, winston churchill

Charles Darwin
one-line summaries famous historical figures, charles darwin

Albert Einstein
one-line summaries famous historical figures, albert einstein

Ernest Hemingway
one-line summaries famous historical figures, ernest hemingway

Mahatma Gandhi
one-line summaries famous historical figures, mahatma gandhi

Vincent van Gogh
one-line summaries famous historical figures, vincent van gogh

Jesse Owens
one-line summaries famous historical figures, jesse owens

Christopher Columbus
one-line summaries famous historical figures, christopher columbus

Joseph Smith, Jr.
one-line summaries famous historical figures, joseph smith

Muhammad
one-line summaries famous historical figures, muhammad

Rosa Parks
one-line summaries famous historical figures, rosa parks

Sigmund Freud
one-line summaries famous historical figures, sigmund freud

Adolf Hitler
one-line summaries famous historical figures, adolf hitler

Thomas Jefferson
one-line summaries famous historical figures, thomas jefferson

Socrates
one-line summaries famous historical figures, socrates

Marilyn Monroe
one-line summaries famous historical figures, marilyn monroe
Related: Famous Quotes Credited Inaccurately

 

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Dad Accidentally Puts Dick Pic On Snapchat Story, Traumatizes Daughter

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If you don't exactly have a handle on an app it's probably best you steer clear of sending dick pics because they may end up in the wrong hands...like your daughter's hands.

Robyn Millen now needs a therapist after seeing her dad's junk on Snapchat after he accidentally posted it on his "story" because he's old. For other folks that are unaware, posting something to your "story" pretty much means all your friends get to see what you just posted. So Robyn wasn't the only one who saw the snap below:

Dad Accidentally Puts Dick Pic On Snapchat Story, Traumatizes Daughter
Dad didn't really think the Snapchat mess was a big deal after being confronted by his horrified daughter:

Dad Accidentally Puts Dick Pic On Snapchat Story, Traumatizes Daughter
After realizing that she will never look at emojis the same way again, Robyn decided to post the mix up on Twitter where it blew up. Which means more people have seen Robyn's dad in all his glory:

Dad Accidentally Puts Dick Pic On Snapchat Story, Traumatizes Daughter
I honestly don't think dad even understands what is going on. The man just wants to share his junk with his wife.

Via The Lad Bible

No emojis covered this: Dad Sends Nude Photo In Group Text, Daughter Scarred For Life

 

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Tough Guys Cry: The Supercut

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As studly as they may look taking down bad guy after bad guy, walking away from explosions and not flinching when shit hits the fan, sometimes we forget that tough guys are human, too. And humans cry. So take a look at this supercut of a bunch of tough guys from movies you know very well crying, and don't feel too bad next time you bawl into your pillow.



Excuse me, I need to go have a good cry now.

Related: Arnold Schwarzenegger Will Never Post A Better Snapchat Than This

 

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Careers You Wanted As A Kid VS. What You Unfortunately Do Now

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When we were children we had so many hopes for the future; hopes of fantastic careers we wanted when we grew up. And then we reached adulthood and realized that it's not as easy or fun as we imagined. Take a look below to see what you do now compared to all those dream jobs you aspired for growing up.

Careers You Wanted As A Kid VS. What You Unfortunately Do Now

 

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Really High MJ

Super Skinny Russian Model Pissed People Off By Captioning Her Photo 'Plus Size'

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Anastasia Reshetova, a 19-year-old model from Russia, recently caused a stir on social media when she posted the photo below on her Instagram with the caption "Plus Size Model" (followed by the pig nose emoji). And of course people weren't happy about that. Check out the photo:

Plus Size Model🐽 (@incantoclub) #shameless

A photo posted by Miss Russia 🇷🇺 (@volkonskaya_reshetova) on


The size 6 model didn't stop there, adding the hashtag, #shameless to the photo. Some people believe Anastasia was simply poking fun at critics who have called her too thin, while many people think she actually believes she's a plus-size model.

oh, baby , you should go and f*ck yourself)))🎤

A photo posted by Miss Russia 🇷🇺 (@volkonskaya_reshetova) on


Many others think the model captioned the photo as "Plus Size" in order to attract an even larger audience, thus gaining more followers.

Regardless of Anastasia's reason, I think we can all agree she isn't plus-size. If she is, then I'm pretty much going to die from being obese any day now. But hey, enjoy some more photos of this Russian model who may or may not be off her rocker:

🐻🐻

A photo posted by Miss Russia 🇷🇺 (@volkonskaya_reshetova) on


say "hello" to my devil

A photo posted by Miss Russia 🇷🇺 (@volkonskaya_reshetova) on


Waiting for swell 🏄🏽 #lostinparadise #surf #serfing #ankercompany

A photo posted by Miss Russia 🇷🇺 (@volkonskaya_reshetova) on



Дабы взбодриться лишний раз 💪🏼🙈🏊🏼

A photo posted by Miss Russia 🇷🇺 (@volkonskaya_reshetova) on


h/t Mirror

And here's an airhead who also ruffled feathers: This Girl Posted A 'Dear Fat People' Video And It's Pissing Everyone Off

 

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Texas Man Leads Police On High-Speed Chase Because He's Sick Of Getting Arrested For Weed

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Somebody needs to tell this dude about Colorado.

Jonathan Davis says he's an "adrenaline junkie," but police are calling him a "creep" after he led them on a high-speed chase for more than 100 miles through five counties in Texas last week. The chase eventually came to an end when police near Waco dropped spikes across the highway and shot out the tires on his shitty four-door Mazda.

The reason Davis was trying to outrun the law? You guessed it: He was sick and tired of getting arrested for weed, and he had no problem telling the crew from Fox 4 News all about it.


Police said the majority of the chase took place on I-35 but added that at times, Davis reached speeds of up to 100 MPH while going the wrong way, and he even drove his car through a fence in an effort to evade them.

Davis told Fox 4 that he's "done" with people taking his freedom over his love for weed, but after leading authorities on a chase through five counties, odds are he's not going to have a choice in the matter anymore.

h/t Barstool Sports

LSD is also one hell of a drug: Nude Wisconsin Man Leads Police On LSD-Fueled High-Speed Chase

 

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Ted Cruz May Really Be Kevin Malone From 'The Office'

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Ted Cruz is really making it easy on anyone who wants to find a new target to poke fun at until Donald Trump says something stupid again. We already know that Ted likes Nickelback, that his daughter hates him and now, that he may be Kevin Malone from "The Office."

Take a look at the sign that one guy brought with him to a recent Ted Cruz rally (via his Instagram):


Kevin is definitely more qualified.

Ted Cruz May Really Be Kevin Malone From 'The Office'
Then there is this guy: Jeb Bush Just Tweeted A Picture Of A Gun And Here Are The Funniest Responses

 

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Weird News: Here's A Drunk Monkey With A Knife On The Roof Of A Brazilian Bar

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There are plenty of reasons to laugh at this 43-second video of a monkey drunk on rum wielding a knife on the roof of a bar in Brazil.

I mean first of all, it's an intoxicated monkey wielding a knife for Christ's sake. Second, the bar just looks like the kind of place where you'd find drunk monkeys playing with knives, as it's hard to believe that the joint is really a tavern and not just a shitty house in Irwindale.

Enjoy.


Witnesses said the monkey became intoxicated after polishing off the leftover rum. It then grabbed a knife and chased after male patrons but left the women alone.

Firefighters were eventually able to capture it and took it to a Patos nature reserve, but the staff there said they're unsure about what to do with the monkey after it allegedly threatened some children living nearby.

It's also unknown if Hollywood will make a movie about the incident, but if they do, you have to think the part of the monkey has Shia LaBeouf written all over it.

h/t Breaking 911

It's never a good idea to screw with monkeys, even ones who are sober: Young Tourist Flips Off Monkey, Gets Drop Kicked By Monkey

 

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This Children's Math Problem Is Driving Everyone Insane

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Here's a quick way to find out if you can flip your desk over at work.

While you probably haven't yet used all those math equations they attempted to teach you in school, and will probably survive the rest of your life if you at least know how to add and subtract, a "simple" children's math problem is driving everyone mad.

The problem wants you to attach a numerical value to a bunch of fruit. But the real problem is that I don't know what the hell is going on. Check out the equations below and see if you can figure it out or if you just end up hating math and fruit even more:


If you're cursing out your math teacher, here's how Mashable arrives at what they think is the correct answer:

Some believe that if a pair of coconut halves equals two, then a single coconut half must equal one. Similarly, they believe that if a bundle of four bananas equals four, then a bundle of three must equal three, leaving a final answer of 14.

Others believe that the coconut image always equals two, while the bundle of bananas image always equals four, regardless of changes in illustration. By this thinking, the answer is 16.


I'm just going to stick with counting on my fingers.

Here's another math problem to make you upset: The Internet is Going Nuts Over This Math Problem From Singapore

 

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Florida Grandmother High On Drugs Caught Having Sex In Rec Center Bathroom In Front Of Her Grandson

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Well, the fact that she's a grandmother at the age of 42 suddenly became far less unbelievable.

According to the Palm Beach Post, a Boynton Beach woman "high on Xanax, morphine and vodka" was arrested earlier this week after she was seen by several children having sex in a rec center bathroom.

One of those kids? You guessed it: Her two-year-old grandson, who she had in the bathroom with her while an unnamed man took her to pound town.

42-year-old grandmother had sex in front of grandson
Police said another child told them he saw April Purvis and the man "having sex" inside a bathroom at the recreation and fitness center of an apartment complex and heard the two of them "moaning."

When the man emerged from the bathroom, he offered the kid some money to "go away." But when the kid returned, he saw Purvis "unconscious on the bathroom floor holding both her grandson and a knife."

Thinking she was dead, the child screamed for help, and police arrived on the scene a short while later. A quick inspection of her apartment in the same complex revealed that Purvis was living without electricity and running water.

Both Purvis and her grandson were taken to a nearby hospital, and the boy's mother eventually arrived to pick him up. She told police that Purvis helps to "care for him," a phrase that apparently has an entirely different meaning in the state of Florida.

Only time will tell if Purvis' grandson will have an uncle roughly three years younger than him, and based on what we know, that scenario seems more possible than not. I mean, if you're having sex in front of your grandson in a rec center bathroom, then odds are neither protection nor pulling out was part of the equation on that day.

The guys in Florida do weird shit, too: Florida Man Had Sex With His Pit Bull In Front Of His Neighbors

 

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Flipaw: The Dog Collar That Lets You Talk To Your Dog (Even When You're Not Home)

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Anyone who owns a dog probably talks to that dog way more than they'd be willing to admit. (And anyone who owns a cat probably thinks that cat is an asshole.) Well, now, thanks to Flipaw, your dog will actually talk back. Or at least text back. Which is more than I can say for most of my friends.

The concept is pretty simple. Fill out a quick questionnaire about your dog, including his breed, age and favorite snack, give your dog a new collar, fill your home with sensors and then sit back and prepare to be peppered with updates on your best friend's whereabouts. Your dog can text, tweet, email or send you a Facebook update from anywhere in your home with a sensor.




Make this insane dream a reality by checking out Flipaw on Kickstarter and contributing to the cause.

 

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