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Articles on this Page
- 03/17/16--09:50: _Watching TV Without...
- 03/17/16--10:28: _This Michigan Woman...
- 03/17/16--11:13: _Even Siri Thinks Th...
- 03/17/16--11:22: _Former Olympian McK...
- 03/17/16--11:47: _This Dude Got Serve...
- 03/17/16--11:51: _Here's A Sex Positi...
- 03/17/16--11:56: _Amber Rose Frees Th...
- 03/17/16--12:06: _Amber Rose REALLY J...
- 03/17/16--12:18: _The World's Saddest...
- 03/17/16--12:37: _Here Are The Top Po...
- 03/17/16--15:04: _10 Hot Margot Robbi...
- 03/17/16--15:12: _This Ohio Mom Spent...
- 03/18/16--04:21: _Today's Funny Photos
- 03/18/16--06:09: _Twitter Fight Surpr...
- 03/18/16--06:22: _This Seattle Gas St...
- 03/18/16--06:45: _There's A Hidden Ba...
- 03/18/16--06:50: _All It Takes Is One...
- 03/18/16--07:50: _Going Out To Eat: B...
- 03/18/16--08:06: _The Only Video You ...
- 03/18/16--09:50: _The Scariest Prison...
- 03/17/16--09:50: Watching TV Without Kids VS. Watching TV With Your Kids
- 03/17/16--10:28: This Michigan Woman's Arctic Fox Can Laugh On Command
- 03/17/16--11:13: Even Siri Thinks The Cleveland Browns Are Sad
- 03/17/16--11:22: Former Olympian McKayla Maroney Is Super Hot Now
- 03/17/16--11:47: This Dude Got Served By McDonald's Customer Service On Twitter
- 03/17/16--11:51: Here's A Sex Position Coloring Book To Fulfill Your Art Desires
- 03/17/16--11:56: Amber Rose Frees The Nipple
- 03/17/16--12:06: Amber Rose REALLY Just Freed The Nipple On Twitter
- 03/17/16--12:18: The World's Saddest One-Sided Text Conversation
- 03/17/16--12:37: Here Are The Top Porn Searches On St. Patrick's Day
- 03/17/16--15:04: 10 Hot Margot Robbie GIFs
- 03/17/16--15:12: This Ohio Mom Spent Nearly $500,000 To Look Like A Human Barbie Doll
- 03/18/16--04:21: Today's Funny Photos
- 03/18/16--06:09: Twitter Fight Surprisingly Turns Into Dinner Date
- 03/18/16--06:22: This Seattle Gas Station Has The Funniest Signboard In America
- 03/18/16--06:45: There's A Hidden Basketball Game On Facebook Messenger
- 03/18/16--06:50: All It Takes Is One Kid To Completely Ruin A Family Photo
- 03/18/16--07:50: Going Out To Eat: Being The Diner vs. Being The Waiter
- 03/18/16--08:06: The Only Video You Ever Need To Watch About Breastfeeding
- 03/18/16--09:50: The Scariest Prisons In The World
Kids are wonderful and an absolute blessing from heaven, but honestly watching television with them is one of the most frustrating and annoying experiences of your entire life. If you're a parent you experience this on a regular basis, but even if you just have nieces or nephews or babysit, you've gone through the nightmare of flipping through the channels with them. Here's what it's like to watch television by yourself compared to watching it with kids.
You have to be a special person to keep a fox as a pet, but one Michigan woman was obviously up to the task. Not only has she tamed the "incredibly hardy animal that can survive frigid Arctic temperatures as low as –58°F in the treeless lands where it usually makes its home," but she's also taught it to keep its damn yapper shut until she asks it to laugh:
When my boyfriend laughs, Archer laughsPosted by Kristina Shafer on Sunday, March 13, 2016
Funny. I once dated a girl who sounded just like that when she... well, ya know.
And now it's your turn to laugh uncontrollably: 17 Unnecessarily Censored Photographs That Will Make You Laugh
Since the turn of the century, the Browns have had nine head coaches, 24 different starting quarterbacks, two winning seasons and just one postseason appearance. They drafted a Heisman-winning quarterback in the first round two years ago, but he's no longer on their roster because he spent more time throwing back shots in Vegas than throwing touchdowns on the playing field. They play in Cleveland.
Yup, things are pretty sad in Brownstown these days. In fact, it's become so pathetic that even the iPhone's built-in "intelligent assistant" is now taking shots at them.
According to Cleveland.com, if you're in Cleveland and you ask Siri to find either "sadness" or the "Factory of Sadness," here's where she'll send you:
Of course, FirstEnergy Stadium has been housing miserable Browns fans eight Sundays a year since 1999.
It's unknown if someone working at Apple is responsible for the latest dig at the Cleveland Browns and their fans or whether or not this will be the last straw that finally sends every Browns fan over the edge. I mean, at this point, you have to think that very few of them have a sense of humor left.
Speaking of sad: 15 Harsh Ways People Got Dumped Via Text
Hey, you all remember McKayla Maroney? She's a former gymnast who was part of the Fierce Five at the 2012 Summer Olympics; a team that eventually took home a gold medal. Although, she's probably most known for that "not impressed" face that became an instant viral hit.
Well, where has the 20-year-old been since then? She's been posting hot pictures on Instagram, mainly. So with the Summer Olympics in Rio a few months away, let's take a look at one former Olympian's hot pictures courtesy of her Instagram:
Let's give her a 10.
Gear up for the Olympics: The 25 Hottest Girls Of The Sochi Winter Olympics
Sometimes the most innocuous comment can come back to bite you in the ass. But that's one of the drawbacks of living in a world where your every thought can be blasted across the Internet as fast as you can punch it into your phone. The poor guy below just wanted to rip on his ex by insulting her new job. Or maybe he was actually happy for her. In any case, her employer wasn't having it, and immediately went for the jugular.
Then again, perhaps McDonald's was just complimenting the quality of their McNuggets and apple pie. They are pretty damn delicious. Is it even an insult to be told you pale in comparison?
Of course, for some people, their very existence is embarrassing enough: Woman With Amazing Mullet Gives Hilarious McDonald's Rant
That's right, thanks to Ulysses Press, you can now color in all those positions your girlfriend fakes a headache to get out of doing with you. I mean, check out that snazzy cover.
Forget getting together with your sex pal to roll some sexy dice; get together to color instead. Interested in coloring the "You Stay Classy" page?
No? How about some "Pork and Beans?"
Hell, if you really want to go nuts, invite "The Hasselhoff" into the bedroom.
The Germans love that one.
If you want to dive into the world of perverted coloring, head to Etsy or Amazon to get your own copy or to give it to your friend in hopes that she will finally get the message.
Via Elite Daily
And there's always this: 14 Harmless Coloring Books Made Completely Inappropriate
Some models and celebrities say they are going to #FreeTheNipple on social media, but then they go ahead and post the censored photos of themselves anyway. Not Amber Rose. She's the real deal.
To promote her second annual Slut Walk (yes, that's a real thing), Rose posted this topless photo on her Twitter. Notice the freed nipple.
OK, OK so it wasn't fair of us to censor her topless photo. But we just want to make sure you are REALLY ready to see Amber Rose free the nipple. So this is your final warning. This is NSFW. Here you go:
Amber Rose Frees The Nipple
Click above and have a great day.
More: Chrissy Teigen Does This Sometimes, Too
We've all fallen for someone who didn't reciprocate the sentiment, but that's no reason to make a complete asshole of yourself. Sure, you usually end up doing it anyway, but you shouldn't. We could reiterate that advice over and over, but leading by example is much more effective. So check out the text "exchange" below and start making better choices. It's that simple.
At least he waited five whole days before admitting the real reason for his relentless pursuit of a girl who clearly has no interest in him -- bewbs.
Still, could have been worse: These Hilariously Awkward Breakup Texts Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself
What do Irish teens, Saint Patrick, Irish cougars and Irish anal all have in common?
You guessed it: They are all porn search terms that go through the roof when guys look to rub one out on St. Patrick's Day.
"Leprechaun" tops the PornHub Insights list thanks to an alarming 8,142 percent spike in searches. Second place belongs to "St. Patrick's Day," which comes in at 6,177 percent higher despite the fact that we have no idea what dudes are expecting to find there. And the bronze medal goes to "Irish Creampie," which makes way more sense.
Here's the rest of the list:
It's nice to see Irish redheads getting some love on St. Patrick's Day, as they get absolutely none of it the rest of the year. And we're surprised that Irish amateurs are actually a thing, as everybody knows that all Irish women are professionals in the sack.
It's official; Americans love lesbians: Here Are The Top Porn Searches And Categories By State
You may recognize Margot Robbie, the striking young Australian actress, from her role in "The Wolf of Wall Street" in which she played Leonardo DiCaprio's hot trophy wife. She was also in the movie "Focus," where she played Will Smith's hot girlfriend. And then there was "The Big Short" and her hot bathtub scene. Soon, she'll be playing an exciting new role as Harley Quinn in "Suicide Squad." Regardless of what you know her from, she's always sexy. There's no denying that, and the 10 GIFs below are proof.
What a tease.
More hot GIFs: Here Are Gigi Hadid And Kendall Jenner Playing With Their Boobs
The phrase "human Barbie doll" gets tossed around a lot these days in reference to spoiled rich women with way too much time and money on their hands who utilize both in the quest for endless attention. While we'd love to tell you that 42-year-old Cincinnati, OH, mother of five Nannette Hammond is somehow the exception to the rule, she is not. In fact, she couldn't be more of a prime example.
After spending nearly $500,000 ($494,000 and counting) on everything from veneers and Botox to multiple boob jobs in order to look like her childhood obsession, Nannette explained to New Dog Media, "I loved playing with those Barbies. Growing up, I felt shy and self-conscious about my looks and wanted to be just like the dolls." Sounds like a pretty well-adjusted human being to us. Here are a few pre-surgery photos just so you can get a baseline for her descent into madness:
Now, check out some of her most recent Instagram pics, which really show off just how sane and down-to-earth she is:
#takemeback to the #80s #bighair #mtv #motleycrue Red❤️White😎and Crue🤘🚬🍻🍾 #tbt #tbthursday#vinceneil#oneofakind#custom#ilovethe80s#momlife#rockit#noexcuses#grateful#blonde#fitness#miamibeach#southbeach#la#sunsetstrip#flex#beyou#beachbody @thevinceneil @rainhannah @bossladyboutiqueuk @haremswimwear #motleycrue
You might be thinking to yourself, "What person could possibly love this wreck of a woman?" Well, her rich yuppie husband, Dave, for one. His take on the matter goes a little something like this: "I like Nannette's look and I'm always happy to support her. Nannette takes care of the family and puts everyone else first. So we make the most of every moment together."
Now, before you fly off the handle for that rich yuppie comment, consider that the world's greatest hubby has bought Nannette three customized Barbie cars (including the $250,000 pink Porsche at the top of this page), three walk-in closets/"Barbie playrooms" and a private jet. OK, so it's a family private jet, but it's also a freakin' family private jet! However, we still can't do the lunacy of all this any justice, so we'll just let the following video take it from here. Take note of Nannette's best line, "I'm blessed. My kids are healthy, my husband treats me like a princess every day [...] When people say I look like Barbie, or this or that, or I live this Barbie life...it's better than Barbie." And by "take note," I obviously mean bask in her humbleness.
(via Someecards, Izismile)
At least she's in horrifying company: Brazil Has Its Own Human Barbie Doll
Funny photos and Fridays. They go together like pizza and beer. Or funny photos and beer. Or anything and beer. Man, I need a beer. See you next week.
Follow Mandatory on Twitter.
Follow Mandatory on Instagram.
Wait! Don't go! We've got more funny photos!
There are tons of people on Twitter who enjoy threatening others from the safety of their bedroom -- empty threats mostly. And while almost all of the fights on Twitter fizzle out when both sides run out of insults to spew, the Twitter fight below ended in the most unexpected way.
A match made in heaven.
These girls need a dinner date soon: Girl Fight Ends With Thrown Shovel to the Dome
The Internet controls all these days, but sometimes a good old sign is all that's needed to grab the attention of the people, and one Seattle gas station is turning heads with all its signs.
For the past 11 years, the Chevron gas station in Wallingford has been showcasing hilarious messages and witty remarks on its signboard, but one sign has really put the gas station on the map. Take a look at the perfect message that has everyone buzzing:
Of course this isn't the only funny message that the gas station has showcased, as once a week they have something new for the community.
"In October of 2005, we converted our auto repair shop into an ExtraMile convenience store and suddenly we had a problem," the gas station explains on its website. "It had always been easy to think of useful messages to put on the sign for things like service promotions and store specials and the like. But with the ExtraMile, there were no more cars to fix and the place was plastered with store specials. So we decided to do something different."
Take a look at more hilarious messages thanks to the Wallingford Sign Twitter (yeah, it has its own Twitter)
And check out the video below to learn more about the popular gas station:
Via Huffington Post
Not as popular: A Car Dealership Is Pissing A Bunch Of People Off With Their Sexist Signs
Work will shoot down to the last item on your priority list (if it's not already there) when you discover that Facebook Messenger actually has a hidden basketball game on it.
Going out and getting fresh air and exercise is seriously overrated, so let Facebook take hours out of your life while you challenge your friends to some virtual hoops. Finding the game is quite simple.
No one likes to update anything, but make sure your Facebook Messenger app is up to date or you won't be able to get the game at all.
Then get the basketball emoji and send it out to a friend on the chat window:
Click on the basketball and the game will appear.
Now swipe up to aim the ball into the hoop, and to begin wasting life. Everyone wins.
Scientists are said to be working on a real-life version of this game. Stay tuned.
They also have this: Facebook Has A Secret Second Website Made Just For Talking To Your Friends
Taking a family photo should be easy, but since kids are terrible and enjoy making everyone around them miserable, family photos become a complete nuisance. That's right, a damn nuisance. That's why the 19 photos below didn't go exactly as planned -- although nothing ever does when a kid decides to ruin things. Check out 19 family photos that went to complete shit.
Adults ruin photos, too: People Accidentally Ruining Photos Are The Best Photobombs
Going out to eat is one of the greatest luxuries we totally take for granted. You pick whatever you want to eat, point at it and 15 minutes later it's sitting in front of you. You're basically a king on "Game of Thrones." But what is that experience like on the other side of the equation? If you've ever worked in food service, you know the magic wears off very quickly. Here's how different a night eating out is for a diner and a waiter.
There are tons of people who still make a big deal about women breastfeeding in public for some reason; so much so that sometimes they decide to become vocal about it and make a comment towards the mother. And that's exactly what occurred in the vine below provided by Clayton Farris.
Well, I guess sharing is still caring.
She's chill about it: Australian Mom Is Turning Heads With Her Casual Public Breastfeeding Photo
Some of the prisons on this list are scary because of the iron hand that the guards rule with. Others are scary because the guards have no control and the inmates are in charge. A good example of that second category is La Sabaneta, one of many underfunded, overcrowded prisons in Venezuela's penal system. Located in the state of Zulia, La Sabaneta has long been a lawless zone where gangs of convicts battle with sharpened pieces of metal for control of cell blocks. The structure was intended to hold under 800 inmates but currently holds nearly 4,000, including almost 200 children who live there with their criminal parents. When gang wars break out, the carnage is unimaginable. On the rare occasions the authorities get called in to restore order, they usually do it with indiscriminate machine gun fire.
The prisons of Africa are notorious for insanely bad conditions, but none is quite as nightmarish as Equatorial Guinea's Black Beach. Named for the lava rocks that make up the island of Bioko that it's nestled on, this tiny prison is home to some of the country's most reviled political prisoners, including the architects of the failed 2004 coup d'etat. Prisoners here have no civil rights -- guards break the jaws of inmates who speak out of turn, and viciously torture others for no reason at all. Food is in scarce supply, with most inmates getting a single roll of bread a day. It's especially bad for foreigners, who are kept shackled in their cells for 24 hours a day and not permitted any visitors.
Penal Colony 56
Russian criminals have a reputation around the world for being totally fearless and insanely violent. So what are things like inside a prison that holds the worst of the worst? Welcome to Penal Colony 56, also known as Black Eagle. In this maximum security facility located in the northern Ural mountains, every single one of the 260 inmates was serving a life sentence. Child murderers, terrorists, contract killers, serial rapists and more fill the cells in this insanely strict facility. Inmates are kept alone in their rooms for 23 hours a day and can go to "the yard" -- a concrete room with no ceiling -- either alone or in pairs for the remaining hour. There is no sewage system and in winter the entire area disappears under ten feet of snow with -45C temperatures. A third of the inmates go insane from the deprivation.
The rise of Turkey's authoritarian government has human rights observers justifiably concerned, but
it's not like cracking down hard on citizens is a new thing there. The notorious Diyarbakır Prison was the dumping ground for dissidents after the 1980 military coup, and inmates reported all kinds of horrors went on behind its concrete walls. Under the supervision of the sadistic Captain Esat Oktay Yıldıran, new prisoners were savagely beaten and then forced to stew in a vat of human excrement for hours. Yıldıran's German Shepherd was trained to bite inmates in the groin if they didn't salute him. Salute the dog, that is. That's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the sadistic tortures that were meted out on the unlucky Turks who lived behind the walls.
Considered by many to be the most dangerous penal institution on Earth, Nairobi's Kamiti maximum security prison is hideously overpopulated, anarchic and infested with disease. There is no running water, meaning prisoners need to haul buckets from a well to drink or wash. The worst part of Kamiti is the condemned "G Block," a lawless hellhole for death row prisoners where gangs of rapists prowl the hallways. Each room holds 4 beds, but is shared by as many as 14 men. Many former prisoners report being anally violated within hours on their first day, and new meat is often bought and sold by the dominant gangs. The lack of water makes infections absurdly common, and diseases like tuberculosis spread rapidly with no medical intervention from prison staff.
Most of the prisons on this list are located in countries that are -- how do we put this politely -- pretty screwed up? It's not surprising that brutal authoritarian regimes lead to equally brutal incarcerations. So how to explain La Sante, located in classically liberal and enlightened France? La Sante prison was opened in Paris in 1867 and operated continuously for over a century and a half, getting more and more crowded and unsanitary. By 2000, the prison was cramming four people into each metal cell, where temperatures could routinely break 100 degrees. The walls were honeycombed with cracks through which ravenous rats would travel, and violence between inmates was a regular thing. Conditions were so deplorable that over a hundred prisoners committed suicide every year through intense means like swallowing forks or drain cleaner. La Sante was closed in 2014 for renovations and hopefully will shed its horrific past.
Penas Ciudad Barrios
El Salvador's most famous criminal organization is MS-13, the sprawling network of drugs and violence that started with immigrants in Los Angeles and spread all over the Western hemisphere. If you're a member of MS-13 in El Salvador and you get arrested, hope to high heaven that you wind up in Penas Ciudad Barrios. Located in San Salvador, the population inside is entirely gang members, who run the prison like a city. A regiment of soldiers is positioned outside the prison walls to ensure that the maximum security inmates don't get any ideas, but inside it's a criminal free-for-all. There are no guards -- all rules and laws come from MS-13 leadership, not the government.
When a prison is so bad that it's airbrushed off of the map, you know you're in for some serious terror. Israel's Facility 1391 is a prison camp to hold war criminals from the ongoing conflict in Palestine. It was only discovered when a historian noticed it on a map from the 1940s -- the space that it occupied was blank on current maps, and the government denied its existence. Former prisoners have testified that the guards kept them in a state of constant fear. Each inmate was issued a black cloth sack, which they had to wear on their heads whenever a guard was in the room so they could never see their faces. In addition, since they were being held extra-judicially, it was trivial for inmates to be "disappeared" without any record of their existence.
Gitarama Central Prison
Back to Africa for another nightmarish penitentiary. The civil wars in Rwanda pitted the ethnic Hutus and Tutsis against each other, and when the Tutsis came out on top, they didn't have too much in the way of mercy for their opponents. Many dissidents were interred in Gitarama, a horrific complex near Kigali. Originally built to hold just 500 men, the cells were packed tight with a staggering 7,000 people after the 1995 genocide. Inmates were forced to stand outside in the yard for hours at a time with no room to move around, and nearly half of them started suffering from gangrene due to the unsanitary conditions. The violent, filthy atmosphere inside Gitarama reduced men to beasts, with frequent fights leading to bloody bites and other injuries that went untreated by staff. Dozens died every day at the prison's peak.
We're not big fans of ISIS around these parts, but we'll give them credit where credit is due: Demolishing Syria's notorious Tadmur prison in May of 2015 was a good move. Tadmur was the dumping ground for political dissidents during the Hafez al-Assad regime for three decades, and conditions inside were horrific. Built as a panopticon -- a ring of cells observed by a central guard tower -- Tadmur was a nightmare for inmates. They weren't allowed to ever make eye contact with guards, and torture was a daily occurrence. Inmates were put inside truck tires and brutally beaten on their first day, and probably the most shocking event in the prison's history came in 1980, after a failed coup. Al-Assad loyalists took helicopters to Tadmur and walked through the prison emptying machine guns into the cells indiscriminately.