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- 03/18/16--09:55: _This Week's 20 Funn...
- 03/18/16--10:00: _The Discovery Of A ...
- 03/18/16--12:01: _Sports Illustrated'...
- 03/18/16--12:05: _Arizona's Coach Was...
- 03/18/16--12:14: _This Is What Happen...
- 03/18/16--13:09: _Here Are Two Idiots...
- 03/18/16--14:45: _People Are Freaking...
- 03/19/16--14:45: _Yale Fan Dressed As...
- 03/18/16--20:13: _The 10 Hottest Lucy...
- 03/18/16--20:23: _The 8 Hottest Mia K...
- 03/21/16--04:23: _Today's Funny Photos
- 03/21/16--04:42: _10 Cringeworthy Tex...
- 03/21/16--05:20: _10 Things Every Man...
- 03/21/16--05:50: _The 10 Ballsiest Te...
- 03/21/16--06:08: _17 People That Abso...
- 03/21/16--06:34: _New Zealand Cat Own...
- 03/21/16--06:50: _These Engineers Wen...
- 03/21/16--06:53: _Romanian Weather Gi...
- 03/21/16--07:33: _Here Is An Importan...
- 03/21/16--07:38: _Formula One Driver ...
- 03/18/16--09:55: This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets
- 03/18/16--12:01: Sports Illustrated's Hannah Ferguson Shows Off Her Twerk Moves
- 03/18/16--12:05: Arizona's Coach Was Sweatier Than Most Of His Players Last Night
- 03/18/16--20:13: The 10 Hottest Lucy Pinder GIFS on the Internet
- 03/21/16--04:23: Today's Funny Photos
- 03/21/16--04:42: 10 Cringeworthy Text Exchanges That Will Make Your Skin Crawl
- 03/21/16--05:20: 10 Things Every Man Does Watching Porn
- 03/21/16--05:50: The 10 Ballsiest Teen Con Artists
- 03/21/16--06:50: These Engineers Went The Extra Mile To Change The Game
- 03/21/16--06:53: Romanian Weather Girl Roxana Vancea Has A Nip Slip On Live TV
- 03/21/16--07:33: Here Is An Important Map Of The Average Breast Cup Size
- 03/21/16--07:38: Formula One Driver Somehow Walks Away From Terrifying Crash
Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
It's weird to think if OJ has murdered his wife during his career he could have faced as much as a four-game suspension.— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) March 4, 2016
Being 28-2016: I'm not ready for a relationship— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) March 6, 2016
28-1816: I have 13 kids
28-1000BC: I lived a good life, thrice I ate a berry and once a pear
yikes. don't google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 5, 2016
If only nature would find a way to cover these oranges so we didn't need to waste so much plastic on them. pic.twitter.com/00YECaHB4D— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) March 3, 2016
maybe you should have allowed pirates pic.twitter.com/QOjtWApTpk— stefan (@boring_as_heck) March 2, 2016
Warning to Gawker, if it looks like you've got Hulk Hogan beat but then he starts violently shaking and wags his finger you will lose.— Kevin Seccia (@kevinseccia) March 7, 2016
"Gary's coming over"— Damnit, Ty (@SuperTeeWhy) March 2, 2016
-Horny Gary or Gary the miner?
[Knocks from the door] "Hey let me in i want to show u my shaft"
"I have no idea"
If I was the producer of @nbcsvu & an actor demanded too much money, I'd be like "That's cool, you're a child molester in the next episode."— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) March 6, 2016
Great news: they made a sequel! pic.twitter.com/3HHxYjeXda— Jerry Beans (@dogboner) March 3, 2016
NEWS: Everything is bad— Hippo (@InternetHippo) March 6, 2016
GOVERNMENT: Everything is bad
MY BANK ACCOUNT: Everything is bad
PEOPLE (to me): Why are you so negative?
"Theyreeee iigggggggtttt" pic.twitter.com/w51Oya49St— Brxandon (@Bee_Reel) March 8, 2016
Juice before soda to meet your drink quota— viney (@vineyille) March 5, 2016
Soda before juice, that's beverage abuse
The best part of Batman vs Superman will be the twenty minutes of footage we haven't seen already.— Sean Gabay (@ixSEANxi) March 5, 2016
"Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off." - Coco Chanel pic.twitter.com/Idw7Ydu0JC— Daniel Ralston (@danielralston) March 4, 2016
i just want someone to believe in me the way andrew bogut believes in steph curry https://t.co/QTUwfwkH6c— Shea Serrano (@SheaSerrano) March 8, 2016
Nobody loves Double Jeopardy more than me, except maybe O.J.— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) March 4, 2016
JERY: no title?— Seinfeld Current Day (@Seinfeld2000) March 4, 2016
KENDRICK: no title! its called Untitled
JERY:So theres a title
KENDRICK: No! im naming it Untitled
JERY: THATS THE TITLE
I went to a monster truck rally only to discover the real monster was man all along— Captain Antagonist (@AnOrangeSNES) March 3, 2016
Interesting delegate count right now and whatnot. pic.twitter.com/izlVp7U4LV— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) March 16, 2016
It would suck if the Make-a-Wish guy was actually a powerful genie able to cure any disease, but kids keep asking to have lunch with Shaq.— stefan (@boring_as_heck) March 16, 2016
Want more? Check out last week's hilarious tweets.
People tend to focus on the wrong aspects of news stories. For instance, when your local police department discovers a hidden cache of weapons, you should probably be paying attention to what specifically those weapons were. But then again, I guess the location is pretty important, too.
It's that building you see all those four-eyed nerds walking in and out of all the time. Duh.
Related: This Twitter Plot Twist Is Absolutely Brutal
Hey, it's Friday, and that means that it's time to continue with our tradition that's not really a tradition because we've never made it one. And that tradition is watching Hannah Ferguson twerk on a beach. Thanks, Hannah.
Ferguson, a 23-year-old Sports Illustrated model, found herself at Turks and Caicos for a photo shoot, and thankfully the cameras were around for some outtakes. Those outtakes included Hannah twerking and having the time of her life, just like we are having now.
Now here's a minute of outtakes featuring Hannah doing her thing.
Hey, we have a shot: Hannah Ferguson Welcomes Your Cheesy Pick-Up Lines
It's not everyday you see a college basketball head coach's nipples make an appearance on national television. In fact, we're not sure that it ever happened before Sean Miller's teats graced our television screens during Arizona's 10-point loss to Wichita State last night.
Hey, if you're looking for a last-minute birthday gift idea for Miller, an undershirt looks like it would be a great choice.
The craziest part about how sweaty Miller was last night is that these screen shots all came from the first half. I mean, if you would have told me these pictures came after his team showered him with the Gatorade bucket at the end of the game or after he tripped and fell into a 55-gallon drum of passion lube, then I'd get it.
But this Sean Miller sweat monster was just the result of being nervous about scoring just 12 points in the first 14 minutes of the game. And let's be honest: If this is Sean Miller after just 14 minutes of shitty basketball, then the flight home after three days of partying in Vegas must be an absolute bitch.
The good news for Miller is that nobody gives a shit about his team outside of Arizona: Which College Basketball Team Does Your State Care About The Most?
As a little brother myself, it's the small victories over your older sibling(s) that keep you going sometimes. For instance, there was only one time growing up that I actually made my big brother cry during a fight, but I've held onto the satisfaction I felt for years. Sure, it was because I punched him in the spine when he wasn't looking, but you gotta take your cheap shots when they present themselves. The little brother below had the right idea. There's no worse feeling than having your personal property hijacked and held for ransom (again, aside from spinal cord injury). His older bro will surely think twice before asking for his help again.
For the record, that spine punch story is 100 percent real and accurate. Feel free to taunt Gary Dudak about it mercilessly with jabs like "Waaa! Baby can't feel his arms" or "Hey loser, get beaten up by your baby brother recently?" It's kind of losing its luster coming from just me all these years.
Of course, what goes around comes around: Brother Teaches His Sister A Valuable Lesson About Stealing
Living in Russia seems like it's almost as much fun as being a Michigan State fan right now.
Two women arguing over God-knows-what apparently decided to settle it once and for all by playing bumper cars. But instead of going to a theme park, which we'll assume don't exist in Russia because having fun is against the law, these classy ladies decided to get behind the wheels of their SUVs and smash the hell out of them.
And luckily for us, there are cameras that exist in Russia outside of the ones they mount to their dashboards to prevent insurance scams, and somebody used it to record the battle on wheels.
We'll guess that since both of these lovely ladies are the proud owners of SUVs, odds are at least one of them is a mom, and the thought of that is pretty horrific.
Neighbors from hell: Crazy Woman Attacks Boyfriend And Runs Over His Scooter
It looks like the Norwegian version of "SportsCenter" seems about as "focused" on sports as their American counterpart.
The Internet is losing its damn mind right now because of a recent TV2 interview with a Norwegian athlete, but it has nothing to do with the game he plays or what he had to say. Instead, millions of people are wondering what in hell happened to a woman in the background, as she appears to suddenly vanish into thin air:
Here, have another look:
Naturally, some people think a wizard is behind the whole thing, but others are going with the more rational conclusion that she just was walking behind the other woman at the perfect angle. Either way, you have to admit it was pretty trippy the first four or five times you watched it.
My reaction after watching her disappear? You guessed it:
via Huffington Post
This is also blowing everybody's minds: People Can't Figure Out How Many Girls Are In This Photo
It looks like this Yale University basketball fan dressed as Santa Claus came down with a serious case of March Madness. (That or he snuck a flask into today's second-round game between Yale and Duke.) Duke may have won the game, but this fan won all of our hearts.
We all know how lethal Lucy Pinder and her awesome, rocking boobs are, but sometimes it's good to keep a visual around as a reminder. In fact, we thought 10 moving visuals -- the hottest Lucy Pinder GIFs on the Internet -- would probably do the job best. We recommend you not stand for about five minutes afterwards, even if you are a girl.
Whoops, sorry. Seems to be a glitch.
There. That's better...
Enterprise: We'll Pick You(r Girlfriend) Up
Sad and Pathetic 101
Heyy, he held it together as long as he could.
I regret this conversation very much, as well.
He went from desperate to overconfident way too quickly.
You've changed, man.
Yeah, this is going to end well.
Whoa, I'm not looking for a girl with dignity or self-respect.
And finally, the grand two-part finale:
Blatant illiteracy on both ends aside, this guy got game.
Every man masturbates to porn. If he hasn't, he's either strangely without access to the Internet, or identifies as asexual. That said, most of us tend to do some of the same things when we watch our porn. That's why this article has been written. So if you ever wanted to know if the things you do when watching porn are things others do as well, you can take a look at the actions below to figure that out.
1. You Skip The BS In The Beginning Of The Video
We all know that a clip starts out with animations for the production studio and some poorly acted mumbo jumbo that leads up to the naked raunchy parts. So, as a guy looking to get his rocks off, we tend to get to the point and start the video about a quarter to halfway in. When things get interesting.
2. You Find Out The Video That Looked Good From The Screenshot Is Actually Terrifying
Some videos are appealing from the screenshot. Except sometimes, the video turns out absolutely horrific, violent, possibly illegal and a definite boner killer.
3. You Discover The Video You Clicked On Has Way Too Many Close-Ups
An otherwise perfectly good clip is ruined by the directors decision to zoom in on the dick. A lot. Watching a dick go into a vagina with a zoom is jarring, and not nearly as hot as it is from an aesthetic distance, or if it's implied.
4. You Make Sure The Coast Is Clear Before You Begin Defiling Yourself
Despite porn being something all of us watch, there's still a sense of shame in masturbating. What I'm saying is, it's better to do privately. As such, we have to ensure the coast is completely clear prior to the session. If not, we'll simply close the doors and toss in some headphones.
5. You Find Out Your Headphones Were Plugged Into The Wrong Outlet
With the headphones in, you should be good to go at yourself with discretion -- except for the fact that you plugged your headphones into the wrong jack on your laptop and now the entire house is let in on your bizarre fetishes.
6. You Use A Perfectly Wearable Article Of Clothing To Clean Up
Sometimes our jerkoff sessions are spontaneous, meaning we haven't placed the Kleenex box, tube sock, etc. by our sides. That being the case, post-climax, we reach for the closest garment to our body, which may happen to be something that was perfectly wearable prior to your cleanup.
7. You Discover A New Actress And Then Electronically Pursue Her
You haven't seen her before, but you're fascinated. After searching for her name in the clip's descriptions or comments, you try finding as many clips of her as you can, visiting your favorite go-to websites to see how much variety of her you can access for free.
8. You Watch Too Many Videos Before Finding "The One"
You've been through dozens of videos and none have done it for you. By the time you've found the clip that gets the job done, you could have watched half of the movies nominated for Best Picture.
9. Your Clip Gets Cut Off At The Best Part
Sometimes a clip won't feel finished until you've seen the money shot. And unfortunately, too many online clips cut off just before the actors reach orgasm. It's like watching a film and missing the climax. Except literally.
10. You Get Rid Of Any And All Evidence That You Just Jerked Off
As if you've committed a murder, you clean up any and all evidence of the act you've just committed.
Sorry to let you down: Here Are Some Very Disappointing Truths About The Porn Industry
Let's be honest here: Becoming a doctor is a lot of work. You have to graduate high school, then college, then medical school, then do your residency -- by the time you get through all of that, you're too old to enjoy it. That's what inspired Florida teen Malachi Love-Robinson to put on a pair of scrubs and impersonate a West Palm Beach doctor. Love-Robinson actually set up a clinic in West Palm Beach and saw multiple patients before an undercover police officer busted him. After his arrest, it came out that the teen had made house calls to an elderly woman and stolen her checkbook, which he used to pay off his debts. The amazing thing is that this wasn't even the first time he'd tried the con -- in 2015, he was caught peeking into a gynecological exam at St. Mary's Medical Center.
One of the youngest con artists on this list, Chicago student Vincent Richardson managed to fool people into thinking he was a cop at the tender age of 14. Richardson was a member of the "Explorer Program," a community project designed to bring local youth into closer contact with the police in a positive way, and he used the knowledge he gained there to walk into the Grand Crossing District station and sign out a police radio and ticket book. He then partnered up with another officer and spent the next five hours giving out traffic tickets. Richardson's con was discovered the same day, but the young man went on to impersonate a cop multiple other times over the next few years, most recently being arrested in 2015 as an adult.
All of these cons take massive balls to pull off, but we've got to give it to Isaiah Aikens for maybe having the biggest balls of all. In January of this year, Mohawk High School was scheduled to hear a speech by Ohio state Senator David Burke. A few weeks before that speech, a young man showed up in a nice suit with a dealer car and told administrators that Senator Burke was sick and he was his replacement. He got a tour of the school and gave a convincing 45-minute speech about advocacy before leaving. Nobody was onto the impersonation until Senator Burke showed up a few weeks later and had no idea what they were talking about. Aikens was brought in and charged with a third-degree felony: impersonating a peace officer, which apparently senators are.
This one's a little sad, as con artist stories go. In 2013, Chinese authorities busted a young woman named Luo Siqi at Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport, where she'd spent the last few days impersonating a flight attendant. Siqi was dressed in a China Southern Airlines uniform she'd bought online and carrying documents about the airline, and helped passengers find their gates until security realized something was amiss due to the fact that she never seemed to actually leave the airport. Turns out Siqi was abandoned by her parents and lived in a foster home with one dream: to fly. Every time authorities remove her from the airport, she returns to continue her charade, hoping to be officially hired by the airline.
Impersonating a police officer is an oddly popular pastime among teens, despite the harsh penalties it can carry. The case of Ryan Mann is an especially interesting one, because it's hard to tell exactly how he benefited from the scams. The 19-year-old Mann would monitor police frequencies for situations in the Albany, NY, area and show up on the scene with a bulletproof vest and counterfeit police badge. He would interview bystanders, identifying himself as "Detective Ruff" and taking down their testimony in a little notebook. His con came to an end when a real detective noticed him pulling his impersonation and brought him in for questioning, where it was revealed that his "police radio" was stolen from a local medical center.
When you're a young kid with Asperger's Syndrome, sometimes you just have to get away from it all. So when Reece Scobie started work as a trainee travel agent (yes, travel agents apparently do still exist) at Thomson Travel in Perth, it wasn't long before he was using the company's accounts to book trips all over the world. The 19-year-old set out on a big adventure that took him to Singapore, different parts of the U.K. and Los Angeles on company dime. At an airport lounge, he continued the con by finding a terminal where another travel agent hadn't logged out and swiped their credentials to book even more hotels and flights. When his con fell apart, he had to beg for money to get home to Scotland, where he was arrested and jailed.
The Walmart Manager
Police haven't released the name of this absurdly ballsy con artist to the public because he's still a minor, but his scam is some seriously next level stuff. In December of 2013, a 17-year-old from Norman, Oklahoma, took the Walmart uniform he wore before getting fired and went on a spree to three other stores. At the first, he claimed to be a regional manager doing inventory, and was let into the cash room where he stuffed his pockets with $27,000 in large bills. He then went to another Walmart and set up at a cash register, where he stole another $3,000. At the third store, the manager saw through the scam and called the cops. It takes a lot of balls to pull off a heist that big and even more to not quit once you're $30,000 ahead.
The son of famous lawn bowler Richard Corsie, Cameron Corsie shouldn't have been wanted for anything. But a huge gambling problem drove the Scottish teen into a life of serial scamming that netted him tens of thousands of dollars. Corsie's con was primarily posting classified ads for fancy cars online, then collecting the deposits and not delivering the merchandise. He pulled a similar scam with apartments in Edinburgh, as well as selling fake concert tickets and running a fraudulent school charity. The money he made from all these cons went toward a lavish lifestyle of parties, hotels and massive roulette wagers. He's been to jail multiple times for his scams and his parents have all but disowned him for the shame he's brought to their name.
One thing that unites many of these teenage con artists is ambition. They're not just making fake IDs to buy cheap beer -- they're trying to swindle adults out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Take the British kid who, under the pseudonym "Adam Tait," managed to convince several major airlines that he was a wealthy entrepreneur who wanted to launch a budget flight service through the Channel Islands. Tait kept up his deception for a staggering six months, with multiple companies taking him seriously. He was only caught when he attempted to rent a private plane for a photo shoot. This wasn't the first big deal that young Tait had tried -- the year before, he hatched a complex scheme to bring the cast of High School Musical to the town of Shropshire.
We started this piece with a Florida teen playing doctor and we'll close it with one, too. In 2011, Matthew Scheidt was busted for impersonating a physician's assistant at Osceola Regional Medical Center. The teen had been working an administrative job at an office across the street and walked in one day and asked for a badge. Nobody checked his backstory, and it wasn't long before he was wandering the halls doing exams, once even performing CPR on a patient when a doctor had to leave the room. He was eventually found out and arrested, but while out on bail Scheidt got busted again -- this time for impersonating a police officer! The teen claimed that his rough upbringing in poverty caused him to create a rich fantasy life. He served a year in jail and is now on probation.
This past Friday and Saturday, 7-Eleven held their Bring Your Own Cup Day, and as expected, people did everything in their power to take advantage of this promotion; some more than others. Take a look below at 17 people who shamelessly took Bring Your Own Cup Day to another level.
America: 7-Eleven Introduces the Mashed-Potato Machine
Hey, everyone has their fetishes.
Sarah, a cat owner in Hamilton, New Zealand, had to put up an unfortunate newspaper ad after she discovered her pervy cat had an affinity for men's underwear and socks, and had been stealing them. Check out the hilarious ad below:
And now check out the cat with all the evidence:
Maybe she can train him to bring back money and jewelry instead.
Cats need to chill out: Beavis The Cat is A Major Jerk
Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we are innovators, that we are geniuses. And one way we can do that is by uniting and putting our fantastic brains together to create incredible things. That's why the world changers below went the extra mile in order to improve this planet of ours. I mean, just look at all these impressive ideas.
Via Sad And Useless
And now to change the world of microwaves: These Microwave Hacks Are Incredibly Useful
While Mexico has their own hot weather girl, it seems like Romania may be giving them some competition because their weather girl has been turning heads, especially because her nipples don't always stay in her top.
Sure, Romania has pretty miserable weather, but it's hard to feel too down when Roxana Vancea is your local weather gal. Let's first take a look at what occurred when Roxana was trying to demonstrate some sort of exercise during a recent weather broadcast.
I sure can get into exercising now.
This wasn't a big deal to Roxana, as she seems to enjoy wearing revealing...um...outfits:
You know what? Romania doesn't seem so bad now. And Roxana sure does enjoy posting pictures of herself on her Instagram:
Yep, we're all pretty much like Roxana's co-host now:
But hey, don't forget about her: Yanet Garcia Wows Us Again With Video Of Her Revista H Magazine Shoot
Have you ever kicked back and found yourself pondering what the average breast cup size is in some countries? No? Well...neither have I...but if you ever have, here's a map detailing some of the average breast cup sizes in the world.
And yeah, Russia sucks, but shout-out to them and their gold medal in biggest average breast cup size.
China beats us in everything these days it seems, but our American gals are rocking D cups. So at least we can take solace in that. Check out a bigger version of this map here.
And after you've looked over this map, you can spend some more time learning everything you need to know about boobs.
A stubbed toe once sidelined me for two days, but the same can't be said for Formula One driver Fernando Alonso.
During Australian Grand Prix action on Saturday afternoon, Alonso caught part of Esteban Gutierrez's ride as he tried to pass him on Lap 17. The result was not good, as what followed was one of the most intense crashes you will ever see.
Not only did Alonso still have a pulse after his car broke into hundreds of pieces before coming to rest against a wall, but he was also able to walk away from the wreck under his own power. Hell, Alonso didn't suffer any injuries in the crash but still told media outlets after the race that he felt lucky to be alive.
Based on this picture of the aftermath, we'll say that's a fairly accurate assessment:
That guy's hurt: The Most Intense Solo Bike Crash You Will Ever See