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Articles on this Page
- 03/23/16--11:27: _Here's A Girl Light...
- 03/23/16--11:31: _The 10 Hottest Abig...
- 03/23/16--11:40: _So A Middle School ...
- 03/23/16--12:47: _Beyonce's Cousin Ju...
- 03/24/16--04:02: _Today's Funny Photos
- 03/24/16--04:51: _15 New Annoying Buz...
- 03/24/16--05:50: _Play Bingo Using Ph...
- 03/24/16--06:16: _Axl Rose Is Reporte...
- 03/24/16--06:34: _12 Movie Scenes Tha...
- 03/24/16--07:24: _Ranking The Shittie...
- 03/24/16--07:50: _The Funniest GIFs O...
- 03/24/16--07:54: _Iggy Azalea Goes To...
- 03/24/16--08:09: _Texas Demolition Te...
- 03/24/16--09:50: _18 Brutally Honest ...
- 03/24/16--10:19: _Is This Present Fro...
- 03/24/16--12:15: _Florida Man Stabs W...
- 03/24/16--12:40: _North Carolina Man ...
- 03/24/16--12:53: _13 Photos That Prov...
- 03/24/16--12:53: _This Jerk (Hero?) R...
- 03/24/16--13:10: _Some Guy Is Offerin...
- 03/23/16--11:27: Here's A Girl Lighting Her Crotch On Fire During A Dance Competition
- 03/23/16--11:31: The 10 Hottest Abigail Ratchford GIFS On The Internet
- 03/23/16--12:47: Beyonce's Cousin Just Got Famous Thanks To A Funeral Picture
- 03/24/16--04:02: Today's Funny Photos
- 03/24/16--04:51: 15 New Annoying Buzzwords and Why They Suck
- 03/24/16--05:50: Play Bingo Using Phone Calls With Your Dad
- 03/24/16--06:16: Axl Rose Is Reportedly Becoming AC/DC's New Lead Singer
- 03/24/16--07:24: Ranking The Shittiest Things About Getting Lunch At Subway
- 03/24/16--07:50: The Funniest GIFs Of The Week
- 03/24/16--07:54: Iggy Azalea Goes Topless For Remix Magazine
- 03/24/16--08:09: Texas Demolition Team Destroys Wrong House, Blames Google Maps
- 03/24/16--09:50: 18 Brutally Honest Summaries Of Your Favorite Movies
- 03/24/16--10:19: Is This Present From The Worst Sister On The Planet?
- 03/24/16--12:15: Florida Man Stabs Wife With Fork After She Hits Him With Burrito
- 03/24/16--12:53: 13 Photos That Prove Becoming A Stripper Is A Great Career Choice
- 03/24/16--13:10: Some Guy Is Offering Up Ass Kickings If You Can Find Him
Move over, Whip and Nae Nae, as there' a hotter dance move in town now. Way hotter.
Look, we get it. There have been so many people who have come up with so many dance moves that coming up with something that is truly yours and just yours is harder than finding a movie starring Kevin Costner that doesn't suck.
One young lady recently thought she could take her dance game to the next level by pouring some kind of flammable liquid on her crotch and then setting it ablaze. Yeah, that didn't work out so well:
It doesn't look like a gold medal winner from this angle either:
On a positive note, at least now she knows what it feels like to have gonorrhea without actually getting it.
h/t Barstool Sports
"Fire" and "penis" don't go well together either: Woman Sets Cheating Boyfriend's Penis On Fire Because Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned
Abigail Ratchford is the brunette equivalent to Lindsey Pelas when it comes to the hottest GIFs on the Internet: a beautiful, busty brunette you should follow. She knows where her strengths lie (typically in glorious boobs and sexy backside cleavage). Have a look at some of Abigail Ratchford's hottest GIFs, then let us know if you manage to think about anything else for the rest of the day.
Check out The Sexy Commercials Ever.
We love busty, bouncy, beautiful boobs.
There has been a growing backlash against public school teachers across the country in recent years. Hell, in Wisconsin, teachers lost their right to unionize and some have seen a significant drop in salary as a result.
But before you decide that being a public school teacher is a piece of cake because you get every major holiday and the majority of the summer off to relax at home, take a peek at the video below and see just how much fun being a teacher really is these days.
Great stuff. You mean for $35,000 a year I get to grade tests, papers and homework off the clock and I have to defend myself against students wishing to inflict serious harm upon me while I'm in the classroom? I mean, where can I sign up?
OK, class. Today we're going to find out what happens when an ax crushes your balls: Here's A Physics Teacher Getting Hit In The Nuts With An Ax
We truly are doing God's work.
We all know about Beyonce and all that she offers, but now everyone is turning their attention to Beyonce's cousin, and that is thanks to Uncle Skip biting the dust.
No one knew who the hell Kristin Douglas was a few days ago, but ever since she ran into her cousin Beyonce at Uncle Skip's funeral, she's all people are talking about. Let's first take a look at the photo Kristin posted on her Instagram and try to guess why she's turning heads:
Yep, I think we all see it now.
Kristin's Instagram followers increased dramatically after she posted the photo, and now for once she can say that people are more interested in her than Beyonce -- even if that won't last much longer.
Now, let's take a look at more of Kristin courtesy of her Instagram:
Family sure is important: Johnny Manziel's Hot Sister Is The Only Manziel That Matters
Do you guys think that bars have ended their promotions for "Thirsty Thursday" ever since the definition of thirsty became more about being horny than wanting a drink? I think the answer is yes. Either way, here are today's funny photos. Enjoy.
We are on Twitter and Instagram, too.
Did you see yesterday's Funny Photos?
More: Funny Photos forever
Example: "This club is about to get turnt and shit, dog."
Why it sucks: Seriously, does Team Breezy really have this much influence on the world? People who use "turnt" like to post about their exploits on Instagram while twerking with bae and shouting "YOLO" to their heart's content.
Example: "One thousand Vine followers y'all! #Blessed"
Why it sucks: In the same way that asshole on Facebook likes to flaunt his life to no end, those who say "blessed" usually do so to hide a pit of nothingness in their soul. It's usually accompanied by a mixtape plug and maybe a shout-out to Snoop, who never shouts back.
Definition: Rolling on the floor laughing
Example: "OMG ROFL"
Why it sucks: Not exactly a new buzzword, but it's annoying enough to include. It sounds like you're choking on a piece of steak. You're not rolling on the floor laughing, and you're probably not even smiling. Or happy. Just stop.
Definition: Am I right?
Example: "Donald Trump? More like Donald Drumpf. Amirite?"
Why it sucks: I suppose using seven letters as opposed to eight saves time, and possibly money. But Jesus. Amirite sounds like a metal that belongs on the periodic table.
Example: "I'm triggered by this article."
Why it sucks: People sure do seem to be triggered a lot more than they use to. This probably has to do with the fact that millennials operate in outrage culture, and they see the value in being offended. It's the quickest way to kudos, a pat on the head or possibly a great big emotional insurance payout.
Definition: A negligible form of aggression natural in human interactions that now has weight.
Example: "Did you just say colored pencils instead of pencils of color? Check your microaggressions, bro."
Why it sucks: People are dying of black lung in coal mines in Wyoming as I type this, and you're hurt because someone said something that may or may not have been intentional (usually not). The good news is, bro, you're about to get an A in sociology class.
Example: "Dat ass doe."
Why it sucks: As in "Doe, a deer, a female deer. Ray, a drop of golden sun." I cringe to think of the possibilities in 2030.
Definition: On point, in style.
Example: "Zayn Malik and the Iron Sheik are totes on fleek."
Why it sucks: God, I hate this word.
Example: "Cat memes! Yaaaaassss."
Why it sucks: Some genius thought it'd be a good idea to use an "a" instead of an "e." It seems the modern lexicon is catching up to America's fall into retardation.
Example: "You got no chill, brah."
Why it sucks: It's OK to use this word in a sarcastic manner; hell, it's even funny. But if you use it seriously like those aged, crusty hippies in "Lords of Dogtown," I've got some news: You're an asshole.
Buzzword: Can't even
Definition: Disbelief to the point of speechlessness
Example: "Wow, you're really going there? I can't even."
Why it sucks: If you say "I can't even" in an argument, you've already lost.
Example: "The word 'manhole' is problematic because it implies that womenholes are less than."
Why it sucks: People who use the word "problematic" to describe things tend to overlook the fact that they also consider themselves the most tolerant snowflake of the bunch. They see no irony here. It's a cheap and effective way to posture high atop your suburban soapbox and silence any opposition with a negative label.
Example: "Wuz good, fam?"
Why it sucks: Your real fam will be ashamed to hear you use the word "fam."
Definition: Warm 'n' fuzzies
Example: "Justin Bieber's new album gave me the feels."
Why it sucks: I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that people who say "feels" have never felt a feeling in their lives.
Example: "I learned about the Illuminati and I've been woke ever since."
Why it sucks: Woke implies that you've red-pilled yourself into enlightenment. It's a shame that people who say woke don't appear so enlightened to the rest of us. I prefer to stay unwoke, thanks.
It's always great to catch up with your dad, but as most of you have already discovered, most of them aren't the most chatty when it comes to phone calls. And when they do talk, you can pretty much guess exactly what they're going to bring up. Make your next phone call with your old man even more entertaining with this handy Bingo card that you'll probably be able to fill up within the first five minutes.
In today's WTF news, Axl Rose (yes, that Axl Rose) is reportedly ready to take the reins as AC/DC's new lead singer.
While Axl and Guns 'N' Roses are ready to reunite in April for six shows, an entire tour is still undetermined because Axl is a tad too busy auditioning to be part of another legendary band: AC/DC.
Jason Bailey, an Atlanta-based DJ, said on his radio show that a "very, very good source" told him that it's "all but a done deal" that Axl will take over for Brian Johnson after doctors told Johnson that continuing to perform live will result in "total hearing loss."
"Brian, for health reasons, can't continue fronting the band," Bailey explains. "He was supposed to retire after the last tour, so they wanted to continue going out on the road and continue making music, so if you can't do it, we appreciate your services, but the show must go on. They're in town, they were auditioning people for the job, and then they flew Axl in, again, this is from my source."
Quit being such a band whore, Axl.
This has happened before: The Biggest Bands To Replace Their Lead Singers
As fantastic as some of the biggest blockbusters today look, they don't look so fantastic when they are being filmed. In fact, they need a lot of movie magic to really become the perfect product. And while we enjoy these movies today, we probably would have a different opinion of them if they went forward without their special effects. Check out how different 12 movies scenes look without some help.
And even one of the most popular shows on television needs special effects sometimes:
Via Sad And Useless
Special effects aren't done right sometimes: Check Out This Perfect Supercut Of Awful Special Effects In Movies
Chances are at some point in your life you've gone out for lunch at Subway. The chain restaurant is inescapable, not just in the U.S., but just about everywhere in the world. And yet, the experience always leaves something to be desired. Let's break down all of the horrible things that happen every time you decide to give up on life and order a foot long for lunch.
15. That unavoidable bread smell
Let's just get this out of the way since it's the first thing we all associate with Subway. That smell. Dear Lord that smell. It sucks you in like a cartoon animal floating towards the smell lines of nearby pie in the window sill. And yet after only a few minutes, it instantly turns into the driving force behind why you want to sprint out of there as fast as you can.
14. The cookies
OK, these are actually good. As long as you get a fresh one. If not, you'd be better off chewing on the cookies pictured on the cardboard display in the corner.
13. They lied to us about how long their foot longs were all this time
Sure, they're finally changing it, but for the first 50 years of the franchise's existence they called their full-sized sandwiches a foot long even though they were only 11 inches. Not cool, guys.
12 . It's not healthy at all but it pretends to be healthy and that's annoying
It's cold cuts. On giant, puffy heroes. It's not good for you. All of the calorie counts on the menu are based on getting a 6" sub with no toppings or dressings or chips or cookies or soda. Sure, Jared lost a bunch of weight, but do you really want to make life decisions based on Jared? (More on that later.)
11. The insanely small amount of meat you actually get on your sandwich
The only thing worse than making a tiny cold cut sandwich at home is going out and paying for one. Especially when you have to take three bites of only bread just to get to your first thinly sliced piece of folded turkey.
10. You can't taste the cheese (and I think there's only one type available)
The Swiss cheese at Subway looks the same as the American cheese. And the provolone. And the cheddar. Just because it's cut into different shaped slices, doesn't mean it's a different type of cheese. I'm onto you, Subway sandwich artists.
9. Those puffy bags of chips with, like, six chips in them
There is no bigger ripoff in the food industry than the inflated bag of Fritos that winds up providing one small handful of chips total. Of course a place like Subway sells these bags. What's worse, most of the options are baked chips, which have all the flavor of a stale rice cake.
8. The diarrhea
You don't always know when it's coming, but it is. And when it does, visions of that sandwich artist's gloved hands caressing dark green pickles will be running through your mind (and possibly bowels.)
7. The bread cut
They even changed the franchise sandwich slicing method (shout-out to all my homies who have been eating at Subway since they used to slice a triangle into the top of each hero) and it still sucks. The cut is always uneven, leaving way too much bread on the bottom of the sandwich and hardly any on top so that more and more of the sandwich comes spilling out onto your lap with each bite.
6. The tuna salad
Look, I'm not ashamed to admit that I've had this sandwich. Multiple times. And every time I do it, I want to kill myself before I've even gotten to the second half of the foot long. It's really just a mayonnaise sandwich with some flakes of tuna sprinkled in. Also, they serve it with an ice cream scooper. I don't think I need to tell you that seafood was not meant to be served with an ice cream scooper.
5. That shitty jingle
I don't think this has been in any of their commercials for a while, but that "Five dollar foot looooooong..." song still gets stuck in my head at least once a week.
4. The insanely large piece of paper they wrap around the sandwich
I've seen unspooled Christmas wrapping paper rolls that don't take up as much space. This is the first of two horribly designed packaging concepts. The next one is...
3. Those horrible narrow ass plastic bags
The sandwich fits in there like a dick in a condom, leaving absolutely no room for anything else, which leaves YOU to stumble home hoping you don't lose your grip on your loose soda cup and bag of chips.
2. You're supporting a child molester (or at least, you were)
Not really your fault, and no one else really knew about it either, but still. Not cool.
1. I will keep going back
Yup. I don't know why, but I will. Might even go there today.
Gotta give him credit; he held out waaay longer than I did.
Just because it's the oldest trick in the book, that doesn't mean it won't deliver.
I didn't realize I was watching amateur forklift bowling. Someone needs to step up his game.
She was never heard from again.
All those years of playing "Sonic the Hedgehog" on Sega Genesis are finally paying off.
To say this actually makes me want a cat is still a stretch.
That's probably not what he meant by "heads up!"
Amazing jump, but now he's boned.
Would this possibly function as a resume? Because, dibs.
I could watch this GIF all day with both hands behind my back.
If at first you don't succeed, fail, fail again.
Bunnies aren't very funny, I admit, but we wouldn't cheat you on an Easter weekend closer.
Not a fan of that ending? You should check out last week's hilarious GIFs finale. Things really went to the dogs.
I don't know how you feel about Iggy Azalea, but it's probably not a positive opinion, mainly because Iggy is still struggling to convince us all that what she does is good music. But hey, we can forgive her for that because sometimes she goes topless for us all, too.
Iggy recently teamed up with Remix Magazine for a hot photo shoot, a shoot that included her with no top on. Check out the topless photo thanks to the Remix Magazine Instagram:
And here are a few more photos from the shoot. Although these aren't topless. Sorry.
"I think people don't understand my humour over here and think it's me being bitchy. You would understand as a New Zealander, having a very dry sense of humour. I'm usually not that worked up when people think I am..." - @thenewclassic wears @dolcegabbana & @balmain in the Autumn issue of @remixmagazine
Might as well check these out, too: 9 Sexy Iggy Azalea Butt Photos
Rowlett, Texas, was hit hard by tornadoes during the holiday season, and while Lindsay Diaz and Alan Cutter's duplex was damaged, they still believed their home, which resides on 7601 and 7603 Calypso Drive, was fixable.
Well, enter the Billy L. Nabors demolition team (their past work can be seen in the picture above). While waiting for their insurance and FEMA to help them, their home was completely torn down by the demolition team that, uh, pretty much destroyed the wrong house. The demolition team had been hired to tear down a home in Rowlett. The address? 7601 Consteau Drive, just one block away from the one they actually tore down.
Their explanation? They are blaming Google Maps and not admitting they made a mistake. The demolition team even sent images of Google Maps to Lindsay and Alan, indicating that the pin for 7601 Cousteau Drive was placed on the duplex Diaz and Cutter owned a block away.
"These two addresses probably shouldn't point to the same house, especially if one of those houses is scheduled to be destroyed," a comment marked on Google Maps reads.
Translation: You folks are now out of a house. Perhaps you should Google how to get a new one.
Lindsay has filled out an information report with Rowlett police to make sure the incident is documented.
The idiots at Billy L. Nabors demolition team have still not apologized.
h/t The Daily Dot
Makes sense: Type in "Dumb F***" on Google Maps and the United States Supreme Court Appears
When you really think about the basic plot of some of your favorite movies, you realize they're kind of dumb. To prove it, here's what the Rotten Tomatoes description would be for 18 popular films if they cut through all the hype and summarized it in the simplest way possible. Enjoy!
"Home Alone 2: Lost In New York"
"E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial"
"The Mighty Ducks"
"The Santa Clause"
"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"
"The Dark Knight Rises"
"Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"
"The Little Mermaid"
One Christmas my sister forgot to buy me something so on Christmas morning she just put her name on something my dad bought me. And that pretty much describes our sibling relationship. Although, while hijacking a present and calling it your own is bad, what the sister below did is ever more damn awful.
However, if her sibling was a cat then she got it the perfect gift.
And this is one gift you wouldn't want to get: Girl Shocks Her Brother With Loud, Powerfully Gross Fart
Only in Florida would a half-eaten Burrito Supreme from Taco Bell be classified as a weapon.
According to KXAN, a 51-year-old Crestview woman and her 66-year-old husband were arrested earlier this week after she threw a burrito at him and he responded by stabbing her with a fork.
Police said the lover's quarrel took place Tuesday morning after Suzanne Hurlvert became so upset with Carl Owen Smith's drinking habit that she threw her half-eaten Burrito Supreme at him. Smith became enraged and retaliated by stabbing his wife in the hand with a fork he was using to eat a Taco Bell pizza.
When deputies from the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office arrived on the scene, they found Hurlvert with the fork jammed so far into her hand that it would later have to be removed at a hospital. They also found what was left of her Burrito Supreme scattered on the floor.
What they didn't find? You guessed it: Hurlvert's husband, and that's because he was busy getting his drink on at a local tavern. When police caught up with him there, they showed him a picture of his wife's hand. He reportedly started laughing and said he and his wife have a "lengthy history of domestic violence."
Police didn't think the domestic violence was very funny, and both Smith and his wife were arrested. And as if the after-Taco Bell shits weren't going to be punishment enough, they were also charged with felonies.
Eating the last rib in Indiana can have serious consequences: Indiana Woman Stabs Another Woman In Eye With Fork During Dispute Over Eating The Last Rib
Ugh, and he wasn't even arrested over a good movie.
According to the New York Daily News, a 37-year-old North Carolina man driving his daughter to school Tuesday morning was pulled over by police for a broken taillight, but it was an unreturned rental of a shitty movie that landed him in handcuffs that afternoon.
Police informed James Meyers that there was a warrant out for his arrest because he hadn't returned a VHS copy of "Freddy Got Fingered" that he rented from J&J's Video in Kannapolis in 2001. Despite the fact that the store has since closed, police told Meyers they still had to serve the warrant after he dropped his daughter off at school.
Meyers has an April 27 court date and faces a fine of up to $200 for not returning the movie, a fine that comedian and star of the movie Tom Green has said he'll pay "just for the principle of the thing."
Now if we can just get Green to reimburse the rest of us who actually dropped 20 bucks to see that pile of dog shit in the theaters, then we'll really be getting somewhere.
Check the video below to see Meyers talk about this ridiculous incident:
Here's a guy who actually deserved to get arrested:Florida Man Had Sex With His Pit Bull In Front Of His Neighbors
Say what you want about strippers, but there's a pretty strong chance that they make more money than you do in a day. They probably use real coasters unlike those of us who use our college degrees as coasters, too. Regardless of how you feel about their career path, you have to admit that they reel in quite a bit of cash night in and night out. And all they have to do is show off their goods and attempt to twerk. Check out 13 photos below that show us what a great career choice stripping can be.
Now check this out: These Strippers Have Some Confessions To Make
I don't think I've ever met a celebrity who I actually wanted to meet. And if I did, it was probably at a signing where I said three timid words to them and walked away with my tail between my legs. The point here is that if you ever do come across a famous person, make it count. This guy did just that, albeit in perhaps the most irritating way possible (for Sandler).
I think Adam Sandler should take this as a sign — a sign that we haven't been watching his movies for years and he needs to get back to ones like "Billy Madison." Or else.
Related: 20 Great Movies That Celebrated Their 20th Anniversaries In 2015
Sounds tempting, but I think I'll pass.
According to BroBible, some dude with an Imgur page titled "if you want an ass kicking" is offering to kick your ass if you can meet him at various locations within a specific amount of time.
Some of the places you and I have unfortunately missed out on getting our asses kicked? You guessed it: Dave Thomas's gravesite, the "Athiest Training Center" and even jail:
Call us crazy, but this guy seems like he's too much of a comic genius to be that good at kicking ass as well. But we're definitely not interested in finding out if that's truly the case.
If you're looking for the funny, then here's who you need to check out: 30 Of The Most Hilarious People On Twitter You're Not Following Yet