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- 03/24/16--22:43: _Worst Hit Man Ever ...
- 03/24/16--23:16: _Guess What Happened...
- 03/24/16--23:44: _Weird News: Florida...
- 03/25/16--04:20: _Today's Funny Photos
- 03/25/16--04:49: _The Very Best Plac...
- 03/25/16--05:50: _This Week's 20 Funn...
- 03/25/16--06:20: _What Does A Bunny H...
- 03/25/16--06:20: _17 Dogs Who Think T...
- 03/25/16--07:44: _Jennifer Lawrence S...
- 03/25/16--07:50: _This Is What The Ne...
- 03/25/16--07:56: _Look How Distraught...
- 03/25/16--08:20: _Here's A Pregnant P...
- 03/25/16--09:50: _Ranking The 10 Best...
- 03/25/16--11:33: _Do Porn Stars Have ...
- 03/25/16--13:09: _Bar Refaeli Posted ...
- 03/25/16--16:06: _South Carolina Woma...
- 03/27/16--19:18: _The 10 Hottest YouT...
- 03/28/16--04:11: _Today's Funny Photos
- 03/28/16--05:32: _'Better Call Saul' ...
- 03/28/16--05:50: _The Most Memorable ...
- 03/24/16--23:44: Weird News: Florida Woman Caught On Tape Having Sex With Her Dogs
- 03/25/16--04:20: Today's Funny Photos
- 03/25/16--04:49: The Very Best Places To Fart
- 03/25/16--05:50: This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets
- 03/25/16--06:20: What Does A Bunny Have To Do With Easter?
- 03/25/16--06:20: 17 Dogs Who Think They're People
- 03/25/16--07:44: Jennifer Lawrence Shooting Hoops Gets Perfectly Photoshopped
- 03/25/16--08:20: Here's A Pregnant Pole Dancer Still Doing Her Thing On The Pole
- 03/25/16--09:50: Ranking The 10 Best Superhero Movies Of All Time
- 03/25/16--11:33: Do Porn Stars Have Real Orgasms On Set?
- 03/27/16--19:18: The 10 Hottest YouTube Girls Gear Up For 2016 VidCon
- 03/28/16--04:11: Today's Funny Photos
- 03/28/16--05:50: The Most Memorable Donald Trump Movie And TV Appearances
If the goal was just to make the shop owner shit his pants, then we're pretty sure he succeeded. But if this guy was hired to actually end a Brazilian shop owner's life, then he might want to think about looking for a new line of work.
According to Mirror, a store owner in Araguapaz was recently the target of an attempted assassination as he brought what looks like some pretty sweet brooms and shovels out to the front of his store. Shocking CCTV footage showed a hit man approach the store owner and fire his gun at his head at point blank range, but none of the shots were accurate enough to take him out.
One bullet managed to graze Jaire Nato Gonzalo de Sousa's dome while another became lodged in the man's stomach. He was rushed to the hospital, and officials there said he is now out of harm's way.
The terrible shot was later identified as "somebody who was already on the run for a murder carried out last year," which means that he hasn't always sucked at his job.
By the looks of things, this gun probably smelled terrible: Tennessee Woman Caught With Loaded Gun In Her Vagina
When I was on spring break, all you needed to have a good time was a quarter barrel, beer bong, sunscreen, deodorant and coupon card that was good for free pitchers of High Life at Pineapple Willy's.
Nowadays, it seems like you can't have a good time unless you have a truck.
I'll admit that it does look like one hell of a party going down in that truck, but everybody knows after two or three or 19 cans of Red Dog that you're going to want to take that party to the next level. Like by backflipping off of it while a huge crowd of your peers cheers you on, for example:
The bad news for that unsuspecting dude is that he got knocked the hell out. The really bad news is that it looks like he may have lost his joint at the 17-second mark as well. Tough day, bro.
Look how much fun this guy had on spring break last year: Cowardly Spring Breaker Receives Instant Karma After Instigating Fight
Somebody needs to find these pooches a better living environment.
According to The Huffington Post, a 21-year-old Naples woman was allegedly caught on tape having sex with her dogs multiple times.
Police arrested Miranda Johns after videos on a phone belonging to a man described as her boyfriend showed her "receiving oral sex from the dogs while she masturbated." Another video allegedly showed her trying to plow one of the mutts, or as the police put it, "attempting to get one of the dogs to penetrate her vagina with his erect penis."
Kurtz Villavicencio's name is a damn nightmare, but he shared his phone with officers after Johns accused him of "sexually battering" her. He told authorities that his phone would not only serve as proof that he did not attack Johns but also show that the only sexual battery going down in her household was unfortunately happening to Fido.
Johns told officers that Villavicencio was "interested" in her having sex with her pups, and that the two of them had even discussed having sex with a bigger dog.
And that's just gross.
I learned it from watching you, Dad: Florida Man Had Sex With His Pit Bull In Front Of His Neighbors
We all know the phrase. Say it loud and say it proud: TGIF. Thank God It's Funny (Photos). Do it up and we'll see you on the other side of the weekend.
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More funny photos right here.
On an Airplane
Generally speaking, any place you can trap your victims and force your scent upon them is more fun than allowing them to escape. Still, I don't necessarily recommend letting loose while you're sitting in your assigned airplane seat (at least, not repeatedly), because you don't want your neighbor getting all up in your armrest. No, a nice, long crop dusting on the way back to the bathrooms is the way to spray, unleashing your animal presence upon the entire airborne environment -- effectively changing the world around you, for all to smell.
In the Shower
I'm no scientist, but I have stayed in a Holiday Inn Express, and taken a shower there. So I know that farts smell exponentially worse in the mist of a nice steamy shower. And yeah, it's borderline self-torture, but there's something so thoroughly enriching about knowing you're capable of such vileness. It makes you feel take-over-the-world powerful, the way you should feel when you start your day.
On an Exercise Ball
Speaking of feeling powerful, it's one thing to smell your power, but it's quite another to feel it rumbling below you like Thor must feel when he summons Thunder. And as far as I can tell, farting is the only reason to own an exercise ball.
In the Hot Tub
I'm guessing hot tub farts stink for largely the same reason as shower farts; probably something real scientific. While you get quite the potent aroma from either hydro-fart, the hot tub fart has the added appeal of expressing itself in bubble form. When a bubble emanates from your very core, rising to the surface, expanding, popping, and bursting forth your own personal stank, it's almost like giving birth. But more like giving birth to an alien, who suddenly escapes into the atmosphere and lives on in space, gaseously ever after. Also, if you're in the tub with a bunch of other people, the jets can camouflage your self-made bubbles.
On Your Passed Out Buddy
If you pass out, you're fair game. That's a rule of drinking. Which is one of the reasons why drinking is so fun. Of course, if you don't have any farts stored up, you can also write on your passed out friend. Or shave him. Or paint his dick black. That's fun, too. And yes, I realize the girl above hopefully doesn't have a dick to paint, but I thought you'd rather see her farting on her friend then some dude's newly blackened dong. Besides, management tells us we have to have at least three images of girls in bikinis per story.
On Your Little Sibling
Again, girly images are part of a great list, so you'll have to forgive the fact that I have no reason to suspect a sibling relationship between the pantsless hottie above and the girl dressed like Popeye's kid. But hey, she's not wearing any pants! However, if they are sisters, then pantsless older sister is getting the last laugh here, because there's simply nothing funnier as an older sibling than exerting your familial dominance with a "who-wears-the-crown?" toot on the second (or third, or fourth) in line. I remember very vividly how funny my older brother thought it was. I'd love to talk to him about that, but we haven't spoken in years.
If you're a student, then farting in class might not be the best place since pretty much everyone will figure out it's you. This could hurt your chances of getting laid by a cheerleader. But if you're a teacher, as we've learned in the past, you can crop dust the students all day long, up and down the aisles, torturing those who torture you with sweet, sweet poopy payback. If I had known that was one of the perks of teaching, I might have considered it as a viable career choice. Alas, I'm a fart writer now.
Not only do you get the joy of seeing all those poor sods in front of you wincing in disgust at the foulness of your being, but you also get to "shush" them if they say anything, since it's rude to talk during a movie.
Under the Sheets
The old Dutch Oven: a time-honored initiation into relationshiphood. And relationships are all about ground; you have to establish footing. Sometimes, you have to do that by trapping your girl in the depths of your manhood. It may mean no action for the short term, but in the long term, she'll know that when it gets right down to who wears the pants, you don't really need to. Careful though, you don't want to use the Dutch Oven too often; your stinky ass will get left. But at key junctures of a relationship, when giving ground is tantamount to surrender, the Dutch Oven is the great equalizer.
On Your Deathbed
As we learned in the widely loved think piece 12 Very Interesting Facts About Farts, after you're gone and dead, for up to three hours you still have contracting and expanding muscles. This includes your sphincter, which can still say "what" long after you can. It's your last word, essentially. Your last gasp of air, fittingly, comes out of your asshole.
Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
me: *makes it as a wise man*— dan mentos (@DanMentos) March 13, 2016
guy from nickelback: holy shit
Home decor assumes you regularly forget to live, laugh and love.— Kaaaate (@ladybroseph) April 21, 2015
Me: look at this stupid thing lol— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) March 17, 2015
Person I want to like me: actually I studied that thing at sea for 3 decades and it's like a father to me
[slowly rises from trashcan while 2 friends are making plans without me]— chuuch (@ch000ch) March 1, 2016
i am also free that day.
Heads, you give me your phone number, tails you go on a date with me.— Ray (@SirEviscerate) March 10, 2016
*flips coin into ceiling fan, it's knocked out a window into the sea*
[burglar gently waking me] you live like this?— Nice Eric (@ericsshadow) January 15, 2016
[Weasel & mink are cuddling, watching a nature documentary]— Tulip (@imdaintyaf) October 20, 2015
Narrator: ...the mink, a close relative of the weasel
Weasel: Oh no Susan oh god
Finally, some good news pic.twitter.com/ov1AV1iXUC— Nessa (@nessadinneen) March 10, 2016
[food's diary]— Carly J Garber (@CarlyJGarber) March 16, 2016
Day 1: she ate me again
Day 2: she ate me again
Day 3: she ate me again
Day 4: she ate me again
Day 5: she ate me again
Lex Luthor is the sorta dude who'd host a free Alanis Morrisette concert but be like "only your new stuff, nothing from Jagged Little Pill"— Max Landis (@Uptomyknees) March 12, 2016
Sorry I fed your baby trash, I thought it was a raccoon— viney (@vineyille) March 8, 2016
I wonder if anyone got the giggles inside that Trojan Horse.— Ted Travelstead (@trumpetcake) March 11, 2016
donald trump[reading bible for the 1st time]: this judas guy. good guy. sold jesus for 30 sheckels? smart investment. id have done it for 20— EJ Gomez (@EJGomez) January 31, 2016
Imagine being a super hot girl and not knowing about instagram.— Andrew Michaan (@AndrewMichaan) March 7, 2016
Who the hell is tommy giraffe pic.twitter.com/EZ7G4VkWn2— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) March 5, 2016
finish your salad. a thousand islands died to make that dressing.— rachelle mandik (@rachelle_mandik) January 21, 2016
PILOT: (intercom) sorry for the delay but we'll make up some time in the air— Beesty Momax (@rockymomax) March 15, 2016
[1 hr later]
PILOT: (intercom) it is now 67:91 oclock guys lol
HOT SINGLE GRANNIES IN YOUR AREA WANT YOU TO LOOK AT HOW TALL YOU'VE GOTTEN— Steve Dutzy (@SteveDutzy) December 24, 2014
Buy a lawn mower and be alone forever. pic.twitter.com/7gqoFm4HXP— meatshirt (@prettysadmostly) July 27, 2014
Want more? Check out last week's hilarious tweets.
According to History.com, an estimated 88 percent of parents prepare Easter baskets for their children, and I'm willing to bet that the majority of these people have no idea why they do it other than the fact that it's a standard Christian and secular holiday tradition. Despite the belief that the holiday is a celebration of Jesus' resurrection, Easter actually began -- as many historic holidays have proven to be -- steeped in pagan roots.
Easter actually began as a pagan festival to celebrate the coming of spring and fertility, but eventually became known as the day of Jesus' miraculous resurrection as Christians took some liberties of their own with the holiday. As for the egg-laying bunny, the chocolate and the baskets of candy? Well, those have their own stories as well. See what Easter is really all about below.
So, Why The Easter "Bunny"?
Bunnies bear no significance in the Bible, so why is a bunny the most recognized figure for Christianity's most important holiday? As with most things regarding history and religion, these things aren't crystal clear, but it is hypothesized that bunnies/rabbits are known to be ancient symbols of fertility (hence the phrase "f*cking like jack rabbits") and new life.
One theory is that the symbol of the rabbit stems from pagan tradition, specifically the festival of "Eostre" the goddess of spring and fertility. Since members were also known for fertility, Eostre's likeness became a bunny, which was the symbol eventually used for Easter's popular character, the Easter Bunny.
According to sources, the Easter bunny made his American debut in the 1700s when German immigrants flocked to Pennsylvania, bringing with them the tradition of an egg-laying hare called "Osterhase" (or "Oschter Haws"). As per tradition, German children made nests for the creature to lay its colored eggs.
As the custom spread across the U.S., the bunny's legend would grow to include chocolate, as well as other gifts of candy, because of course it did. North Americans love dessert and any excuse to indulge is going to happen (more on that later). With that, vibrant baskets eventually replaced nests as well.
But Why Does The Bunny Lay Eggs?
As mentioned prior, many religious holidays have links to pagan traditions. The usage of eggs for Easter is yet another one of these things. Like the bunny, eggs are an ancient symbol of new life and were popular among pagan festivals celebrating spring (and Easter is in spring! See the connection?). According to Christians, however, Easter eggs are used to represent Jesus' resurrection. Thus the eventual marriage of eggs and the Easter Bunny was born.
As for decorating the eggs, this tradition dates back to (at least) the 13th century. A popular explanation for this custom is that eggs were once considered a forbidden food during Lent, and people would paint/decorate them to mark the end of their fasting, and the fact that they'd finally be able to indulge in eggs' yolky goodness.
The Easter egg hunt is another story. As is a tradition I hadn't known existed, known as "egg rolling," which involved rolling decorated hard-boiled eggs down a hill. Both of these traditions were made popular in the U.S. -- at the White House. The first official White House egg roll occurred in 1878, when Rutherford B. Hayes was president. While neither of these traditions bore any religious significance, people would eventually reach for reason, and consider egg rolling symbolic of the stone blocking Jesus' tomb being rolled away, which eventually led to his resurrection.
How Did North America Make Easter All About Candy?
In terms of candy sales, the only holiday to beat out Easter is Halloween. Arguably the most festive of these candies are the coveted chocolate eggs, which date back to early 19th-century Europe. Again, the chocolate egg is used as a symbol of Jesus' resurrection, which is why eggs have been the desired shape for the holiday. As for why it was made chocolate? America.
As for jelly beans, these became popular Easter fare for the simple reason that they're kind of shaped like eggs, which was surmised in the 1930s. Seriously, that's why. The National Confectioners Association says over 16 billion jelly beans are made in the U.S. each year for Easter alone. Peeps, a snack I don't understand whatsoever, was first manufactured in the 1950s. But who gives a shit, Peeps are gross.
What a great holiday: Kids Crying On The Easter Bunny's Lap: A Holiday Tradition Like No Other
Dogs are around people so much that sometimes it is no surprise that everyday human behavior rubs off on them. From being on the computer to washing someone's hair, the dogs below don't give a damn if they have paws, they will do whatever the hell they want.
"Step on it, Dave. Running away is the only solution to our problems."
Still better than Dasani Water.
I walk like that when I have to use the restroom.
Now I get why I was on hold so long.
This dog has the same outlook towards life as me.
"I love walks."
"You have the paws of an angel, Deb."
"Update Adobe? Ha, fuck off."
He lets her walk all over him.
When your morning alarm keeps ringing.
"I know it's 9 a.m., don't judge me."
Sometimes you have to go to a bar and wonder about the meaning of life.
This dog is more active than I am.
Also doubles as a horror movie poster.
When you're trying to convince others you're young at heart.
The only thing this is missing is that dog giving everyone the finger.
Am I the only one disturbed by this?
Although sometimes they don't think things through: Dogs Who Have Made Poor Life Decisions
Aside from being one of the most popular actresses out there at the moment, Jennifer Lawrence really prides herself on reminding everyone every single day just how normal she is. Lawrence takes every opportunity she gets to tell everyone that she's just like everyone else, one normal woman. So of course Lawrence continued to be normal by playing some basketball. And of course the Internet completely photoshopped her when a picture was snapped of her shooting hoops.
Take a look at the original picture below:
And now here's the Internet going to work:
Via The Chive
Ronda Rousey Got It, Too:Ronda Rousey's Butt Obviously Made The Internet Go Photoshop Crazy On It
It quickly became apparent that the innocent invite of "Come over, and we can watch Netflix and chill" was really just an invite to come over and hook up; so much so that it became a hilarious meme. And now it has become so popular that Netflix even has it on their service. Take a look below at what the Netflix and Chill Netflix screen looks like.
Not always a happy ending: The Saddest Netflix And Chill Story Ever
Today's the day that one of the most anticipated movies of the young year so far is released: "Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice." But so far, the reviews coming in have been absolutely brutal. And while the movie will make a ton of money regardless, the film's Batman (Ben Affleck) is not doing too well, as the negative reviews have taken a toll on him. Take a look at the proof below:
Don't worry, Ben. You made it through "Gigli," you'll make it through this.
Now see if you can figure this out: Guess The Celebrity Batman Game
It's tough enough for gals who aren't pregnant to do a pole routine, but pole dancer Jill MacLean hasn't let a baby in her stomach break her stride as she somehow is still rocking her pole routine instead of reading useless baby books.
The 36-year-old, who is professionally known as "Cleo the Hurricane," posted a video on her Facebook showcasing how being pregnant hasn't forced her to lie around and do nothing:
MacLean posted the video above because she says she began feeling uncharacteristically unattractive. MacLean also took it to her Instagram to showcase some pictures of her on the pole while pregnant as well. Take a look at the photos below:
She's still doing her thing, too: Fitness Model Who Is 8 Months Pregnant Still Has Ridiculous Abs
(Note: We excluded all animated movies for our sanity. We also left out certain comic book films like "Sin City" and "Kingsman: The Secret Service" since they aren't technically about superheroes, per se.)
#10 - "Blade" (1998) / "Blade II" (2002)
We promise not to do too many of these, but sometimes when it comes to a franchise, it's difficult to decide which was the best. "Blade" was essentially Marvel's first big hit on the big screen, and it was likely due to being more of a vampire movie than a superhero movie. Plus, it was rated R, which (speaking as someone who was 12 years old at the time his dad took him to see it) was pretty damn sweet. The sequel followed suit, and brought back Abraham Whistler (Kris Kristofferson), a fan favorite. "Blade: Trinity," ehh, not so much.
#9 - "Superman" (1978)
If "Blade" is somehow the grandfather of Marvel superhero movies, then it's pretty safe to call "Superman" the great-grandfather of all superhero movies. And we don't use the name great-grandfather lightly. This movie, while classic, is freakin' old, and may not hold up to the high standards of superhero films today. However, it has been a constant inspiration since its release in the late '70s. And if you don't believe us, check out the PBS documentary "Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle" sometime. Or better yet, listen to filmmakers and comic book artists like Kevin Smith and Kyle Higgins talk about it at length and try to claim they aren't still being inspired. Plus, that theme song.
#8 - "Iron Man" (2008)
Rarely is an actor born to play a role, but Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man is a clear and obvious exception. Not to mention the first "Iron Man" film wraps up the "great-grandfather/grandfather/father" analogy that we've been driving at since our list began. This movie started it all for what is now referred to as the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and if it hadn't been for RDJ and his slam dunk performance, it's quite possible superhero films wouldn't be as popular as they are today. Is this the best superhero flick to date? Not by a long shot. But 2008 was a relatively long time ago when it comes to how quickly these movies are being churned out these days.
#7 - "Batman" (1989)
In a world where nostalgia reigns supreme, how could we not include "Batman" here? Without this film, the superhero movie genre could have easily gone off the rails and never returned. Sure, it was a close call when "Batman & Robin" hit theaters nearly 10 years later, but that's beside the point. The '89 "Batman" had everything going against it from the casting of funnyman Michael Keaton as the titular hero to a fanbase the was virtually non-existent compared to what it is now. Yet, in the end, it wound up being a movie that, for the most part, still holds up as one of the best Batman films in existence (but more on that later).
#6 - "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" (2008)
Rarely is an actor born to play a role, but Ron Perlman as Hellbo...wait a sec, we already said this earlier, huh? Well, regardless, it's just as true for "Sons of Anarchy's" own Clay Morrow as it was for RDJ. There is more to what makes this movie great than just excellent casting, though. It was directed by visual mastermind Guillermo del Toro, the man responsible for films like "Pacific Rim," "Pan's Labyrinth" and, yes, even the previously mentioned "Blade II." It's gorgeous, engaging and an overall improvement to its already exceptional predecessor. What more could you really ask for? Well, except another sequel. But that's coming eventually.
#5 - "X2: X-Men United" (2003) / "X-Men: Days of Future Past" (2014)
This is the second and last time we're doubling up. But seriously, if you want to pick a winner between these two juggernauts (no pun intended), be our guest. Of course, you'll have to decide between an almost flawless setup to "The Dark Phoenix Saga" (a.k.a. "X-Men: The Last Stand") and a movie that somehow managed to wipe the slate clean of the abysmal "X-Men: The Last Stand" and "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" in one fell swoop. Go ahead. Choose. Maybe you like impossible decisions. We don't.
#4 - "The Avengers" (2012)
The only thing worse than having to wait a few years for a movie like "Batman v Superman" to come out is having to wait a few movies. Luckily, Joss Whedon's "The Avengers" was well worth it. It was able to combine four franchises into one and come out on the other side as not just coherent, but a film that has been matched (or beaten) by only one superhero film to date. But like our "Batman" write-up, more on that later.
#3 - "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (1990)
You were probably expecting a Spider-Man film of some kind in this spot, but tough. As a fan of the comics since childhood, the movies have been a constant disappointment and never able to get the essence of the character right (sadly, "The Amazing Spider-Man 2" was probably the closest it got). No, we again opted for nostalgia here, as anyone who saw "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" as a child is likely still watching it on at least a yearly basis and loving it more each time. It can't be explained other than the film having come out at the peak of TMNT popularity, but for a movie about mutant turtles who eat pizza, practice ninjutsu and say "Cowabunga" more than any film to date (OK, we made that last one up, but prove us wrong), it's a little baffling that none of the reboots have been able to recapture the charm since 1990 (or maybe this movie was just that good).
#2 - "The Dark Knight" (2008)
Ahh, Batman -- the superhero so nice he made this list twice. Of course, "The Dark Knight" isn't really sitting here because of Christian Bale's Batman (don't get us wrong; he was fine). No, it earned its place solely because of the man pictured above. The easiest way to explain this film's greatness is by putting it like this: without Heath Ledger's Joker, "The Dark Knight" would be "Batman Begins" or "The Dark Knight Returns." We aren't ragging on those films in any way, but you definitely wouldn't see them hanging around a list of the greatest superhero movies of all time.
#1 - "Captain America: The Winter Soldier" (2014)
Just when you thought superhero films had hit their high note with "The Avengers," a culmination of years of planning on Marvel's part, the sequel to the ho-hum "Captain America: The First Avenger" comes out of nowhere and rocks your socks off. This movie is not only everything a great superhero movie should be, it's everything you could ask for in a great film. We don't know how the Russo Brothers did it, but some of us are already more excited for them to do it again in "Captain America: Civil War" than we are for "Batman v Superman" coming out today. Like, right now. Seriously, why are you still reading this? Get out of here and go see "Batman v Superman" already! We swear we'll leave our list right here for you when you get back.
It's the age-old question asked by nobody but a few who still pay for porn, but it's a question that was brought to 17 porn stars who were more than eager to answer it honestly.
Wood Rocket, a very popular adult film company that is responsible for such classic films as "The Knobbit" (a Hobbit parody) and "Assventure Time" (an "Adventure Time" parody), wanted to see how real porn stars would reply when asked if they have real orgasms in a scene.
Enjoy their answers below:
Now we can all move on with our lives.
More important information: What Kind Of Porn Are Porn Stars Watching?
Israeli model Bar Refaeli is currently five months pregnant. At least we think she is. I mean, she says she is. Or...maybe...well, we are just going to go with it because she confirmed it. There.
Like any big-time celebrity or model, Refaeli took to social media to share a photo of herself in a bikini, showing off her pregnant baby bump. Look really closely. It's there.
Here's the photo via Refaeli's Instagram:
We're actually still not sure. But, here are a couple more lovely photos of Bar to enjoy:
Might as well check these out: The Sexiest Bar Refaeli Photos Of All Time
What the hell is going on today?
Believe it or not, this is the second news story we've posted today about a woman having sex with a dog. This one comes out of South Carolina, where Hannah Marie Haynes has been charged with buggery, also referred to as a "crime against nature."
The 23-year-old Chesnee woman was reportedly seen on video performing sexual acts with a Dachshund. According to investigators, Haynes took the videos of herself having sex with the poor little dog and sent them to a man who turned them over to the North Charleston Police Department.
Deputies in Cherokee County were then contacted. They arrested Haynes and took her to the county detention center. She was released on $5,000 bond.
In other news, I think I'm going to be sick.
Not many people can make a living being a YouTube host, but we imagine it helps if you're good looking, especially if you're one of these big YouTube earners. The following 10 hot YouTube girls have what it takes to hold our attention, and clearly, are sexy enough for their own behind-the-scenes clip from Playboy. They will all likely be in attendance at the upcoming online video lovers conference VidCon starting June 23. For now, enjoy this video and these sweet, sweet photos. Then click the links to their YouTube pages.
Syd Wilder does funny, sexy bits on awkward dating and fun things like how to take slutty selfies.
Aja specializes in fashion and fitness tips. You should check out these Aja Dang photos, too, since she's arguably the hottest of the hot YouTube hosts.
Jaclyn Glenn covers popular songs and busts myths during her YouTube channel segments. She looks pretty miraculous in her sexy photo gallery, too.
Lauren does sexy cosplay segments and adventurous videos. Sometimes, she does it with other hot girls.
Arika specializes in fashion and fitness, doing #GlamLife videos and makeup tutorials.
Lexi has a YouTube music channel where she does videos of original songs and popular covers.
Elizabeth does a lot of day-in-the-life video blogs with music accompanying her on her adventures.
Lisa is a funny gal who does music video parodies and comedic shorts.
Meg and her alias DollWithaGun post cosplay videos and fun fashion blogs with #AskMeg segments. Check her out as the Queen of Cosplay while you're at it.
Nikki specializes in funny YouTube shorts about girl life, along with her "Tasty Tuesday" food segment.
Mondays are terrible. We all know it. So I can only hope that today's funny photos bring a little ray of sunshine into your life. If they don't, well, maybe you can check us out on Twitter or Instagram. If that doesn't do the trick, well, screw you. We're trying our best, OK?
Click here for more funny photos.
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Jimmy will decide to start his own practice, moving one step closer to becoming Saul.
Just by the title and preview of Episode 7, "Inflatable," we'll see Jimmy slowly unencumbered from higher-ups when he decides to become his own boss. After seeing his company run a new ad on top of his in the last episode, along with Kim considering a change of scenery, James McGill is going to step out of Davis & Main and float in his own direction with his lady by his side. Will Chuck's influence cause a rift between them, or will they take their relationship to the professional level? We'll see.
Hector and the Salamancas aren't gone just yet.
In the episode following Hector Salamanca's brief return, we got to see him again, only with his twin nephews as enforcers this time. With their usual speechlessness, they silently sent their message of intimidation. Despite making a deal with Hector, Mike's initial refusal to take the blame for Tuco's gun charges will have the Salamancas in charge of handling the consequences. Expect at least one axe. It won't be Stacey, Kaylee or Nacho who get it, since there is at least reference to each of them in "Breaking Bad," but a near-death experience is a definite possibility for someone close to Mike.
The LWYRUP Cadillac will drive up.
We've seen Jimmy struggle with cars from the get-go. His rusty, yellow beater was all he had until he was given a luxury company car, one that drives him up the wall simply because of its cup holders. The car is a metaphor for his life, once in the dump and then riding high, but neither are really his style. When Jimmy goes to lawyer up his own way, he'll get the car (and the license plate) to match it, along with the bright, bitchin' dress shirts.
Mike will eat another homemade pimento cheese sandwich.
There's not enough pimento in all the world to satisfy Michael Ehrmantraut's appetite. Between "Breaking Bad" and the episodes we've seen so far in this series, pimento has apparently been a long-time way of living for Mike. Don't expect to see this homemade delicacy go away anytime soon.
The Return of the Los Pollo Hermanos King(pin), Gustavo Fring
It was teased last season that the meth kingpin might show up, and now as smaller roles from the "Breaking Bad" realm get bigger, we're expecting either an appearance from Gus Fring, or perhaps a tease of his restaurant, Los Pollo Hermanos. Gilligan first created the restaurant as a front for Mexican cartel drug muling, and since the Salamanca family is all here, Gus might be the next piece of the puzzle. That, or we'll at least get a sit-down on Walt's old stomping grounds.
Jimmy will land his first crooked client.
We're not sure if he's going to get there just yet, but if Jimmy goes solo in the next couple episodes, he could be repping a crooked, Saul Goodman-esque client by season's end, and we're guessing it'll be a local, low-level dealer we've seen before. Since Gilligan already teased Krazy-8 in episode five, "Rebecca," we're guessing it'll be him, the first guy Walter White and Jesse Pinkman killed together in season one of "Breaking Bad." Skinny Pete and Badger don't quite fit the bill, but the actor who played Krazy-8 seems like he'd make for a good recurring character, which we only saw a sliver of in "Breaking Bad."
More montages, locations and time lapses.
Vince Gilligan said that since the two shows are from the same world, it's likely and enjoyable to revisit old locations from the "Breaking Bad" days. Loyola's diner has been a recurring breakfast/coffee meeting spot for Mike on both shows, so expect to see more of that. In addition, we've gotten great montages to classic songs, as well as beautiful cinematic time-lapse videos of the New Mexico desert for establishing shots. Expect more of those.
Walt's car wash will make an appearance.
Should Jimmy go out and Caddy up, he's going to have to get that thing cleaned and waxed. Fans have been waiting for some Walter White references or foreshadowing, and, outside of the trench coat and topcoat on the coat rack next to the metal detector in a recent episode, this might be the first one we get. It would make sense, since it was an early part of Walt's world. We just hope to get a flash of Bogdan and those crazy eyebrows.
Kim Wexler will officially leave Jimmy.
This is relevant to the "Breaking Bad" world because Kim plays a pivotal role: She's Jimmy's center, his true North. Without her, he has no moral compass, and she will eventually leave him in some way, and we believe it'll be because of Chuck, whose manipulation of Kim we've seen a little bit of already. Chuck's "sickness" is likely linked to the loss of his own wife, so should Chuck experience that loss, expect him to push the envelope further on bringing misery to his brother, whom he is clearly jealous of and hates to see get ahead of him in any facet of life. Once Kim is gone, the gloves are off and out comes Saul Goodman to stay.
Detective Hank Schrader (or maybe Gomey) will show up in the finale.
If not Gus Fring, we like to think another big face from the "Breaking Bad" world will show up. Since we highly doubt it'll be any of the main characters, we're hoping they may tease a little law enforcement at the end of the season. Hank would be great to see again, but considering his high status on the show (along with the pattern of a lot of Hispanic actors returning), we think his partner, Steven Gomez, is a more likely fit. Tune in until Monday, April 18, on AMC to see how many of these predictions are way off!
"Home Alone 2: Lost in New York" (1992)
Not the best sequel ever made, and also not the best choice for a celebrity cameo. In essence, here we have a non-superlative match made in mediocre movie heaven. In "Home Alone 2", that little pisher Kevin McCallister gets himself separated from his vacationing family again and ends up in NYC's luxury Plaza Hotel. A standard bearer of luxury since the '80s, The Donald shows up in a blink-or-you'll-miss-it appearance giving the young tyke directions and a double take. This was Trump's breakthrough Hollywood role and paved the way for the slew of high profile screen time to follow.
"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" (1994)
This bruising primary season has taken on some ugly racial tones, and The Donald has presided over rallies where the black guys and the white guys more closely resemble Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots than a self-governing electorate. We're not sure of the last time Trump paid a call to the home of an African-American family, but back in the halcyon days of 1994, we all saw such a cordial moment right on broadcast television. Looking to purchase their Bel Air estate, The Donald and then wife Marla Maples are welcomed inside by the Banks family and Carlton is so excited, he faints. Over 20 years later in the real world, a woman wearing a "Down with Muslims" T-shirt and Crocs might do the very same thing.
"The Little Rascals" (1994)
Rich versus poor was a frequent theme found in many of the original "Little Rascals" short films of the '20s and '30s. Adapted into a full-length feature over a half-century later, that concept of social class came along for the ride. Perfectly cast as spoiled troublemaker Waldo's oil tycoon dad, The Donald also cashed in on a little more screen time than usual. Long before he ever advocated deporting and/or barring certain children from this country, the Little Rascals had him cheering them on at one remarkable go-kart race.
"Sex and the City" (1999)
As the '90s closed, Manhattan and "Sex and the City" became synonymous with one another. Each week, its frolicking foursome of liberated ladies rode the beat of the cosmopolitan playground's pulse for an eager pay cable audience. NYC's backdrops, blueprints and bravado lit up the small screen like Times Square after dark. It was only a matter of time before The Donald, a shining emblem of the city, would get in on the action. Another brief cameo, this time he played lunch companion to a rich old man looking to get inside Kim Cattrall's skirt. With Trump as a wingman, that would increase one's odds empirically.
In this divided country, there is one thing everyone across party lines can agree on: the world is a better place with Derek Zoolander (at least before the sequel). In another split-second cameo, The Donald is runway-side praising the superstar male model. Today, an endorsement from Donald Trump is somewhat trickier business, but back then it was as welcome as manicured fingers running through the tousle of a shapeless mound of orange hair.
"Da Ali G Show" (2003)
Well before he became world famous for spouting off his own uncomfortable nonsense, The Donald was the recipient of some by another master. In a business segment on his eponymous comedy show, Ali G nabbed a sit down with the mogul for what he expected to be a serious interview. Instead, the idea of gloves to protect you from melting ice cream was pitched, and proving his stature as a true business titan, Trump was out of his chair and ending the interview in seconds flat.
"The Apprentice" (2004)
With a collection of impressive walk-ons and guest spots on his resume, it was finally time for The Donald to take center stage. A CEO should, by all respects, be seen as a CEO. His vehicle was "The Apprentice," and with him at the helm, it became one of the most popular reality shows ever on television. The show began with a noble concept: overachievers compete in challenges for a real-life position within Trump's vast business empire. As the seasons wore on, however, episodes fell into the same cat-fighting chaos that defined the worst of the genre until it devolved into a D-List celebrity contest featuring the likes of Dennis Rodman and Gary Busey. But audiences kept watching anyway until political ambitions and posturing left NBC with no other choice than to essentially tell The Donald, "You're fired."
"The View" (2006)
According to The Donald, he's got "the greatest" everything. Hotels, casinos, fans, unwavering devotion from the women and minorities he's shockingly disparaged. And with three wives under his belt and five children between them, his love for his family is pretty great, too. Nowhere was that clearer than during his 2006 appearance on "The View" alongside his grown daughter, Ivanka. When questioned by the ladies how he would handle seeing his daughter in Playboy magazine, Trump seemed to suggest that their biological relationship was the only hurdle preventing him from dating an attractive piece like her. We can't imagine why this caused co-host Elizabeth Hasselbeck to wince so hard that the camera abruptly cut away from her. Didn't she realize that the love between a billionaire and his daughter is the greatest love of all?
"WrestleMania 23" (2007)
Oh yeah, our potential future President of the United States of America also wrestled for the WWE. Billed as "The Battle of the Billionaires," here Trump took on bossman Vince McMahon with some staged jumping and jiving and hooting and hollering. Oddly, at the end of it all, Vince McMahon was somehow forced to shave his head. The Detroit crowd went wild and a case can be made that these audience members were the same type of attendees you would find at a Trump rally today. Only now, it seems, they're the ones doing the wrestling.
"Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump" (2011)
Known for his thin skin, The Donald thickened up to ride out the torrents of insults as the featured target of Comedy Central's 2011 Roast. Roast master Seth MacFarlane presided over a steady stream of jokes highlighting Donald's hair, vanity, inheritance, political ambitions and pronunciation of the word "huge." This may have been the very last televised event where a group of men and women were given the opportunity to criticize Trump to his face and still be able to leave the stage laughing.
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