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- 04/10/16--15:38: _Probably The Crazie...
- 04/08/16--04:31: It's Time To Talk About Melissa McCarthy's Career
- 04/08/16--05:50: This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets
- 04/08/16--06:02: Video: Texas Cop Body-Slams 12-Year-Old Onto Ground
- 04/08/16--06:31: 18 Restaurant, Store And Office Names That Are Absolutely Perfect
- 04/08/16--06:50: 13 Things That Immediately Suck The Coolness Out Of You
- 04/08/16--07:09: Here's Some Proper Car Etiquette For The Clueless Folks
- 04/08/16--07:50: These 22 Bands Are In Desperate Need Of A Reboot
- 04/08/16--08:01: Puppy Afraid Of Steps Comes Up With A Brilliant Alternative Option
- 04/08/16--08:18: Is This The Cheesiest Prom Pun Invite Ever?
- 04/08/16--09:50: 25 Of The Funniest Tweets About Ted Cruz
- 04/08/16--11:12: No One Saw This Nicolas Cage VS Vince Neil Fight Coming
- 04/08/16--12:53: Woman Makes Awkward Discovery After Having Sex (NSFW Language)
- 04/08/16--13:09: Melanie Iglesias Is A Messy Girl Covered In Ice Cream
- 04/10/16--15:38: Probably The Craziest Hole-In-One You'll Ever See
As I was waiting in line to get my ticket for the screening of Melissa McCarthy's new comedy, "The Boss," an older gentleman in front of me turned around and said, "I really can't stand her," and nodded toward the poster of McCarthy's "The Boss" character, Michelle Darnell.
I replied, "So this is going to be a long movie for you then?"
"Eh, maybe it will surprise me," he said.
A Quick Review of "The Boss"
Let me start by saying that, unlike the older man who was in front of me in line, I like Melissa McCarthy. There is something captivating about her, and the wild antics she pulls off in her comedies always make me laugh. That doesn't mean she can save a movie by herself, though.
I only wrote down one note in the dark theater that I could read later about "The Boss," and it was that the first 15 minutes of it were "clunky af." You get a little backstory on why Michelle Darnell is the way she is (she was returned to the orphanage by three different families as a kid), flash forward to her in the present at a motivational seminar where she raps on stage to "All I Do Is Win" alongside T-Pain and then talks about how rich she is, and subsequently watch her get arrested for insider trading because her rival/former lover Renault (played by Peter Dinklage) turned her in. None of it makes much sense, and it's explained in the film about as well as I just explained it here.
Anyway, Darnell gets out of prison four months later and, left with nothing, shows up on the doorstep of her former assistant Claire (played by Kristen Bell). Insert your normal bad house guest shticks and clichés about a former rich person trying to live in a normal person's world, and you finally get to the plot. That's when Darnell goes to Claire's daughter's Girl Scout meeting (they are called Dandelions) and determines that she needs to start her own rival cookie business (you know, because she's a business guru) with the help of Claire's brownie-making skills. This is how she is going to get back on top!
Hilarity should ensue from here, but sadly, the only funny person in the movie is McCarthy. She is at her best when she is vulgar, intimidating and uses her sharp tongue to deliver perfect one-liners. There is plenty of this, along with the normal physical comedy we've come to expect from the plus-size actress (at one point, a couch-bed flips her violently and hilariously up into the living room wall, much to the delight of the whole theater). But the characters around her fail to deliver many laughs, especially Dinklage's Renault. It's almost like the script was written with the sole purpose of setting up McCarthy to bring it home, but it grows tiresome. And when you remember that the movie was co-written and directed by her husband, just like with 2014's "Tammy," it makes sense.
But I'm not here to talk about "The Boss" specifically. I'm here to talk about McCarthy's career as a whole. So let's get to it.
What's the deal with "Mike & Molly?"
Does anybody still watch this show? Does anybody like it? I know my parents did a few years ago, but I haven't heard them mention it since. Six seasons is nothing to sneeze at, but it's hard to understand how a "Roseanne" knock-off sitcom on CBS also features one of the most popular comedic movie actresses. And it's baffling that "Mike & Molly" is never the first thing people think of when they think of McCarthy. You almost have to remind them of it. Nor does anyone (or at least people like me) think of her earlier roles on "Samantha Who?" and "Gilmore Girls." I'm not saying there is anything wrong with this; it's just weird.
Speaking of weird, what the majority of people know McCarthy best from is her breakout role in "Bridesmaids." She's the lovable loon you can't help but laugh hysterically at, and she just fuckin' nails it. The only downfall, I feel, is that it led to her being somewhat typecast as a lovable, dim-witted loser, which resulted in the following two TERRIBLE films being made.
"Identity Thief" and "Tammy"
Believe it or not, these are not the same movie. Tammy is not a woman who stole the identity of Jason Bateman, and Diana is not the woman who went on a road trip with her trashy grandma played by Susan Sarandon. They are very easy to confuse and even easier to forget, because you probably only watched them once and thought to yourself afterward, "Huh, I expected that to be a lot funnier than it was." Then you moved on with your life.
What's amazing, though, is that McCarthy gets a free pass for these. It's almost like we all know that she's hilarious, and despite her movies sucking, we excuse her of any wrongdoing because she's so much fun. I'm not the first person to compare her to Chris Farley (and her tribute to him on SNL last year only strengthened the comparison), but I can't deny that she has some of the same larger-than-life qualities. But still, these movies were awful, especially "Tammy" (which was also co-written and directed by her husband).
"The Heat," "St. Vincent" and "Spy"
Thank god for "Spy." I have to admit that when it came out last summer, I had my worries that it was going to suck, especially because of the aforementioned bad taste left in my mouth by "Tammy." But a funny thing happens when Melissa McCarthy is in a movie with a good script, a talented director and a star-studded supporting cast -- it is fucking excellent.
Furthermore, it lets McCarthy show off her acting chops, which is an added bonus. This was more evident in the dramedy "St. Vincent" with Bill Murray, and even in 2013's "The Heat" alongside Sandra Bullock. The point being, McCarthy can be a powerhouse on her own, but when she's surrounded by skilled actors instead of trying to carry them, she seems to excel even more.
"Ghostbusters" Gold to Come?
I certainly hope so. I've already made it clear that McCarthy is better suited as an added asset to a larger ensemble of talent, and this certainly fits the bill. I would love nothing more than to enjoy the all-female reboot of the iconic '80s film. The fact that it's not written and directed by her husband is already a very good sign, but if it does suck, I can almost guarantee it won't be McCarthy's fault.
Related: A Fun Look At The Depressing Career Of Cuba Gooding Jr. Since His 1997 Oscar Win
Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
This is definitely the deepest and most metaphysical question posed by NYC subway ticket machines pic.twitter.com/47mXKMvsma— Tom Gara (@tomgara) March 23, 2016
barista: can i get your name please— chuuch (@ch000ch) March 23, 2016
me: john, with an "h"
(3 min later)
imagine if your roommate made you watch a movie and left ten minutes into it. dick move, right? my point is old people shouldn't get to vote— rob whisman (@robwhisman) March 23, 2016
"MAH MINDS TELLIN ME NOOOO! BUT MY BODYYYY! MY BAWDAYYY'S TELLIN ME YA-Ya-ESSSSS"— X (@XLNB) March 23, 2016
thanks again for the interview.— stefan (@boring_as_heck) March 24, 2016
oh hey if you google my name and it autocompletes with "bowling alley arrest," that's a different guy.
batman: my parents were killed— severely depressed (@jon_snow_420) March 23, 2016
harry potter: same. and i have a nemesis
batman: uhh me too. mine's a clown, but like, a mean clown
In a way, it's cool just to have a nickname no matter what it is pic.twitter.com/Xc0O1IBd9r— Shawn (@CakeThrottle) March 22, 2016
I feel like none of the couples on House Hunters actually sleep with each other.— Laura Benanti (@LauraBenanti) March 26, 2016
I appreciate that the male standard of attractiveness is so low that there's a meme based on getting a man who owns 2 outfits— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) March 23, 2016
This is the best Batman v Superman review related comment on the Internet. pic.twitter.com/hyehOhAdYp— Neil (@guyneiljames) March 23, 2016
It's that pottery scene from Ghost except it's me standing behind the Subway sandwich artist helping him make my sandwich.— Cat Friendship Club (@iLikeCatShirts) August 5, 2015
She truly is the world's greatest athlete pic.twitter.com/bYpqw8OmD0— Anna Marquardt (@ajlobster) March 22, 2016
Satan's greatest trick is convincing you he's not real but there's a quality drop-off after that. No. 2 is pretending his thumb is your nose— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) March 19, 2016
I'm so lazy, if I got kidnapped I'd just think, "Well, this is where I live now."— bourgeois beth (@bourgeoisalien) November 5, 2015
[shooting hoops with the fellas after school] uh yeah I have a girlfriend...you wouldn't know her...uh...she was aborted pic.twitter.com/yFbZmhFlO8— your friend online (@ItsTonyNow) March 25, 2016
They say phones are ruining social skills but in 1888 Van Gogh cut an ear off & gave it to a girl so maybe its not phones maybe we just suck— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) March 20, 2016
I don't understand why people find these so hard pic.twitter.com/40VRabXFs6— Jimmy (@JamesCoyne) March 22, 2016
"It is done," Ted Cruz says post-coitally. "He is in you." Her belly swells and ripples. An outline of Reagan's face appears. She screams.— Miss O'Kistic (@missokistic) March 25, 2016
Looking at you, Jesus. pic.twitter.com/yDubAPu8Zw— Yael (@elle91) November 30, 2014
Want more? Check out last week's hilarious tweets.
An officer has been put on paid leave after video of him slamming a 12-year-old on concrete has spread on the Internet.
In the video, officer Joshua Kehm can be see approaching sixth-grader Janissa Valdez. She struggles to get away from him, eventually ending up on the ground as Kehm slams her on the ground, so hard you can hear her head hit the concrete.
Take a look at the video of the incident that was shot at Rhodes Middles School in San Antonio:
The 12-year-old tells Fox San Antonio that she was arguing with another girl and planned to "tell her let's go somewhere else so we could talk." That never occurred, obviously, because she ended up on the ground.
Two investigations have begun: one within the school district and the other within the police department.
A third investigation has also begun to learn why this video looks like it was filmed 10 years ago.
Glad this is on video: Here's A North Carolina Woman Ramming Two Police Cars Before Flipping Her Own Car
There are people out there who for some ungodly reason enjoy having raisins in their cereal, which is why Kellogg's Raisin Bran is so popular with a lot of people, not just your grandpa.
But Kellogg's hasn't exactly been honest with you all these years; Kellogg's has pretty much been lying to you, and you've been so busy stuffing your face with this bland cereal that you haven't noticed.
Kellogg's Raisin Brain promises that inside their terrible cereal there are two scoops of raisins, but that is not entirely true; it's not close to being true at all.
Take a look at the photo below to finally know the earth-shattering truth.
Those bastards. It's barely one whole scoop. I'd like to see how Kellogg's is going to explain this.
Now finally learn what loving Raisin Bran says about you: What Your Favorite Cereal Says About You
Anytime you take a stroll outside you pass by tons of businesses, and it is quite easy to miss them. That's why businesses need to do everything in their power to make sure they stand out enough for them to be memorable. And the 18 businesses below did just that, so much so that they now have accomplished their goal of ending up in a Mandatory article. Kudos!
Sidewalk business signs can be hilarious, too: 23 Perfect Sidewalk Business Signs
I don't have a twin, so I can't say exactly how the relationship would be with my twin and me. But I know one thing is for sure, I won't be working out anytime soon like the two twins in this story who have made it their mission to have the same, ultra-fit body.
Miriam and Michelle Carolus, from Miami, go the extra mile in order for them to have the same curves and asses. They do everything in their power to have the same lifestyle, including the same diet and workout routines. They currently do 2,000 squats each daily so that they can have the same ass. Aside from a boob job, they claim to have never gotten any other surgery.
Take a look at some more pictures of these the twins thanks to their Instagram:
Maybe a tad too far: Australian Twin Sisters Want Identical Pregnancy With Boyfriend They Share
Butchering the Lyrics While Singing Out Loud
You're on top of the world singing Pitbull's "Time of Our Lives" while on a road trip with your buddies. And then the unthinkable happens: you butcher the lyrics. Ugh, you fool. Now you have to follow it up with a "Uh...wait, that's the lyric? What did I say?" And follow that with an awkward chuckle.
Waving to the Wrong Person
You were so excited to see what you thought was your friend in public that you didn't even bother to confirm if it was actually them. Now you're just that person waving at a stranger, hoping for the world to open up and swallow you whole so that the embarrassment can one day wear off.
Umbrella Flipping Inside Out
There's nothing like Mother Nature giving you the middle finger by completely taking control of your umbrella and doing as she pleases. As you're struggling with your umbrella, think of everyone that is watching some sad sack fighting a losing battle with the umbrella that has decided to betray them.
Saying a Joke in a Group and Not Being Heard
You played it out in your head beforehand; this was going to be the joke that brought down the whole house. And then no one heard it. Now you're just left in your lonely bubble as "The Sound of Silence" plays on a loop.
Getting Your Jacket/Pants Caught on the Door
There really isn't an escape from this one. You were all confident and feeling good, as you headed toward the exit only to have that demon door reel you in. And all that is left is you hanging off the door, as you wish lightning would strike you down.
Going the Wrong Way and Taking Your Phone Out to Avoid Embarrassment
That phone of ours sure is a lifesaver. It always has our back, especially when we are going the wrong way on the street, and instead of just turning around we pretend we are looking up something on our phone as we slowly turn around and head in the right direction. And of course, we leave any ounce of coolness we had behind.
Stumbling in the Street
A failed umbrella or heading the wrong way is one thing. But actually taking a tumble on the street is a whole other story. When you're broken on the floor, you may be unaware of the few people around you who are stuck between the "should I help" phase, and the "that guy is going to help so I don't need to" phase. And it's all your fault, you clumsy bastard.
Swiping Your Credit Card the Wrong Way
You were so busy thinking about that new protein shake you're gonna try when you get home that you swiped your credit card the wrong way. Now the cashier is just waiting on you, as you smile and try to figure out what the hold up is. You're the hold up. You're the one that looks like someone who has never paid with a card before. Might as well pour your change on the conveyor belt and count your pennies.
Failing to Properly Open Those Push/Pull Doors
Leaning into a door that says "pull" or pulling a door that says "push" is a mistake that has occurred way too often to all of us. It is especially bad when there is someone right behind you, also eager to exit, and you just let down everyone because you're incapable of using a door properly.
Spilling Food/a Drink on Yourself
Since chances are you aren't a toddler or reside in a senior citizen home, there really isn't a reason you should be spilling food or drinks on yourself. But since life is cruel and likes to poke fun at us, we of course will spill stuff at the most inconvenient time, like a date. Now your date knows that you need a bib to eat like those eager dads at buffets.
Pronouncing a Menu Item Wrong
It's hard to come across as suave and cultured when you're mispronouncing items on a menu. Now you look like a bumbling idiot when you order the "geo-duck," and the waiter responds with "OK, the gooey-duck." Now you can chuckle and drink your water and hope the moment passes quickly.
Saying "Cool Beans"
Everything was going fine until you decided to speak like a 12-year-old girl and say "cool beans." And everyone heard you. Now you're going to be known as the guy who said "cool beans" in public. That is the legacy you leave behind.
Not Being Able to Handle Your Drink
Well, there goes any shred of coolness you had left.
You may not be completely aware, but there's a certain etiquette to follow when you're inside a car, and it all depends on where you're sitting. Whether you're driving, sitting shotgun or kicking it in the back, there are rules to follow, and tasks you're in charge of.
Take a look at the guide below to learn proper car etiquette.
Distributing snacks only to myself is usually what happens when I'm in the backseat.
Step on it! Here's What You Think Of When The Car In Front Of You Is Driving So Damn Slow
Music has really fallen behind the times. These days, every movie, TV show and comic book property you loved as a child is being either reimagined or given a sequel as a means of putting nostalgia to good use. So why not music? Sure, bands will occasionally release a cover to an old classic that manages to strike the right note with fans, but that's small potatoes. We think it's about time some of our favorite bands throughout history got their own reboot/sequel/prequel treatments. What that would entail is entirely out of my hands (I'm more of an idea man, anyways), but I imagine it might look a little something like this:
Special thanks to Lucas Dunning and Sarah Nichols for pitching several hilarious ideas that made the lineup.
Related: 18 Film Franchises In Desperate Need Of A Reboot
Walking down the steps can be a daunting task for any puppy (just like walking up the steps for any adult is daunting), and it's evident fairly quickly that the puppy in the video below is very hesitant going down the steps. But instead of just going for it, this puppy decides to try something else.
Take a look at what this quick thinking puppy did:
This puppy has stage diving down to a tee. But hey, at least he got down.
And then there's this: This Puppy Sneezing Might Be The Craziest Thing We've Seen
Going to prom is pretty important for high school students, as they usually go the extra mile to make it a memorable one, even making sure that the invite is one for the ages. This is why the dude below got a little help in order to make his prom invite one that that gal would tell her friends about years down the line.
This kid is going places. He always knew that donkey would come in handy, and now it's going to help him get some actual ass. What a triumph.
Or you can do it this way: Pulling Off This Prom Prank Is Better Than Winning Prom King Or Queen
The 2016 presidential race is really heating up, with four main hopefuls (sorry John Kasich) left. Aside from the normal political hot button issues, we also like to focus on how these candidates fare in the Twitter world. Here are 25 of the best tweets about Ted Cruz.
"MAH MINDS TELLIN ME NOOOO! BUT MY BODYYYY! MY BAWDAYYY'S TELLIN ME YA-Ya-ESSSSS"— X (@XLNB) March 23, 2016
Ted Cruz looks like you broke Ronald Reagan at a house party and only had 5 minutes to put him back together before your parents got home.— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) February 25, 2016
I have never had sex with Ted Cruz but one time I sat on a big white pumpkin for like 4 minutes so same thing— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) March 26, 2016
Cruz is like the gentleman criminal you have release from SuperMax to stop the evil mastermind.— Daniel Foster (@DanFosterType) February 2, 2016
"It is done," Ted Cruz says post-coitally. "He is in you." Her belly swells and ripples. An outline of Reagan's face appears. She screams.— Miss O'Kistic (@missokistic) March 25, 2016
this is the best election of all time. pic.twitter.com/iyEooz7EWi— Elijah Daniel (@aguywithnolife) March 28, 2016
Honestly, the people searching "Ted Cruz is the best" are the ones we should be worried about pic.twitter.com/jPmCTq1jOl— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 19, 2016
The grossest mental image I can think of is an extreme close up of Ted Cruz's lips as he generously applies Chapstick— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) March 31, 2016
ted cruz looks like an animorph got stuck halfway turning into a weasel— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) February 2, 2016
Ted Cruz is the bad guy in a movie who is brought down after revealing his evil plans & not realizing a microphone was on— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) March 22, 2016
Ted Cruz google search history:— chuuch (@ch000ch) February 26, 2016
how to get away with several murders over the course of many years
what is damn daniel
I don't care if we discovered Ted Cruz's wife was a meth whore turning tricks for nickels, nothing could be worse than being Mrs. Ted Cruz.— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) March 23, 2016
What did Ted Cruz just eat off his face!? https://t.co/aftCTXo83i— Adam Peck (@AdamReports) March 4, 2016
hi i'm ted cruz, definitely not three toddlers stacked no sir pic.twitter.com/WlRSO1f0MY— nevona (@nevona) March 24, 2015
Ted Cruz looks like a jack o'lantern that's still out on Nov. 5th pic.twitter.com/SFZQ1lCfu4— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) April 4, 2016
Ted Cruz is the kid in school who would remind the teacher there was homework due— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) February 5, 2016
movie fact: bill murray whispers "ted cruz is the zodiac killer" to scarlett johansson at the end of lost in translation— adam (@burgerkrang) January 20, 2016
Ted Cruz is a bunch of silly putty stuck to the skeleton of a Salem witch trial judge who was killed in a fire lit by his favorite slave.— rob delaney (@robdelaney) February 2, 2016
.@tedcruz whenever I see the word 'is' I get spooked cuz it's already halfway to isis. As president, what will u do to solve this— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) January 29, 2016
You can input whatever name when signing up for Ted Cruz' email list so I made him sound like a 40's bad guy pic.twitter.com/q9EKDVAjHk— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) February 26, 2016
guy: someones got a case of the tuesdays lol— EJ Gomez (@EJGomez) February 23, 2016
ted cruz: ha ha that is a hilarious quip fellow human being. thus my human response is laughter
Ted Cruz seems like the kind of guy who types "https://t.co/i8VQUBLqfN" in the google search bar.— Zack Pearlman (@ZackPearlman) March 1, 2016
ted cruz haveing a bad day on the campaign trail today pic.twitter.com/bND4hlsvkB— TORMBLABLY PIACKEELS (@Tormny_Pickeals) March 26, 2016
JUNIOR SENATOR TED CRUZ— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) March 2, 2016
is an anagram of
TURN TO RUN. ZODIAC JEERS.
Ted Cruz is the physical manifestation of hearing your parents having sex.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 4, 2016
Related: President Barack Obama Reads Mean Tweets On Jimmy Kimmel Live
In the strangest news of the day (so far), legendary actor Nicolas Cage came to blows with Mötley Crüe frontman Vince Neil on the Las Vegas strip yesterday following an altercation with a female fan. Just to clarify, said altercation came to pass after the fan asked Cage for an autograph as he and Neil were hanging out inside the Aria Hotel around 5 p.m. According to TMZ, after she came up to Cage, Neil "allegedly got behind the woman, grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to the ground," which can't even be excused for rock star behavior; it's just terrible. From there, Cage did his best to restrain his buddy while dragging him outside where they both got into a car. Here's a little snippet of what went down:
Neil was cited for battery (but not taken to the police station) after the incident. He is currently under criminal investigation. Good thing Mötley Crüe retired at the end of last year. We're guessing "Girls, Girls, Girls" wouldn't go over so well anymore.
And here we were thinking Nic Cage was nuts: 10 Of The Most Insane Things Nicolas Cage Has Ever Done
Hopefully he was watering his lawn with the hose that was connected to his house.
According to KMPH, a 37-year-old Fresno man who was recently watering his lawn in the nude was arrested after a police officer asked him to put on some clothes, and he responded by throwing a beer bottle and knife at him.
And by the looks of things, he drank more than that one beer:
Police said Robert Lopez was still butt ass naked and drinking a brewski in his yard when an officer responded to a complaint of a nude man watering his grass Wednesday night. The officer politely asked Lopez to get dressed, but he basically told him to get dicked and threw his beer bottle at him.
Lopez then told the responding officer that he would "get a gun and shoot him," and that statement led to a call for backup. Things escalated even further when Lopez went inside to grab a pair of shorts and an eight-inch knife. He threw the blade at the officer and thankfully missed, but the officer didn't when he retaliated with a bean bag round from a shotgun.
Backup eventually arrived to help place Lopez into custody, and he was hit with a slew of felony charges. No word on if those red circles on his chest were a result of the bean bags or if his roommate in prison was a nipple-sucking clown.
Even if you're flying first class, you have to wear clothes: A Naked Man Showed Up At The Nashville Airport On Sunday
And if you want to keep your job, you'll probably want to refrain from playing this video while you're at work.
Some dude who used to work at a Red White & Blue thrift store but got fired even though he hadn't called off "one motherf--king time" decided to make his last trip in to pick up his paycheck a memorable one by jumping on the intercom and telling the customers that his bosses were "f--cking c--ts who do drugs all f--king day."
Oh, and he filmed it:
The bro probably just lost the "honor" of using Red White & Blue as a reference for his next gig, but hey, odds are McDonald's will hire him without it anyway.
Even better ways to tell your employer to get dicked: 10 Of The Most Awesome Ways People Have Quit Their Jobs
These days, people sure do love sharing stories on social media, regardless of how humiliating or shameful they may be. In fact, it seems that they are always eager to let the world in on whatever cringe-worthy things have been happening in their lives. And this story isn't any different.
Twitter user Shay From Online decided to let her followers (and everyone else) in on a very awkward sexual encounter that she had. Check out the tweets below:
Or this can happen: Woman Live Tweets Story Of Nightmare Date, Hiding Poop In Her Purse
Well, at least now we know what gave him the courage to climb Morro Rock.
According to UPI, a 27-year-old Fresno man who recently climbed Morro Rock to propose to his girlfriend was arrested not only because climbing the huge boulder is illegal but also because the authorities who were called to rescue him found meth on him.
Witnesses said they heard John Paul Banks yelling for help after his attempt to FaceTime his proposal from Morro Rock in Morro Bay got a little dicey. Banks got stuck about 90 feet up the rock, and after bystanders called 911, 31 responders were needed to get him down.
Witnesses also said that Banks was acting like he was "under the influence" of something, and that something turned out to be meth. He must not have taken all of it though, because police booked him for meth possession as well as being on it. Banks will also have to find a way to come up with a boatload of cash because he's getting billed for "the chopper ride and other related costs."
But hey, at least she said yes, bro.
Now watch this idiot being rescued:
A video of today's Morro Rock rescue. The gentleman will be billed for the chopper ride and other related costs.We are glad all involved are OK, and appreciate the hard work of our first responders. Climbing Morro Rock is illegal and dangerous. We hope folks will choose to view it from below, saving themselves and our fire responders time and money and protecting everyone's safety.Posted by City of Morro Bay on Thursday, April 7, 2016
Meth is a hell of a drug: Weird News: Man In Clown Suit Arrested For Smoking Meth At Waffle House
Melanie Iglesias knows just what guys like: ice cream. More importantly, they like ice cream on a half naked, sexy model like her. Personally, I like a good sherbet, but I digress. Check out this extended cut from Slickforce Studio featuring Melanie licking all sides of the cone, but wearing most of it for our viewing pleasure. If you have any strength left afterwards, you can pick up an exclusive Melanie Iglesias poster on sale for $1 this week and next. Now check out more of Melanie's latest SlickforceGirl videos.
Well, this is a little rude.
I'm not one to really care about Starbucks cup controversies like the red cups this past holiday season. Instead, I prefer when Starbucks baristas make hilarious jokes about Beyonce. But I digress.
Whether or not the Starbucks employee was simply making an innocent joke is being investigated, but according to Action News Jax, the Florida customer definitely didn't think it was funny.
Here's what was on the cup:
"DIABETES HERE I COME."
That's the message the customer at the Palencia Starbucks received on his grande cup of white mocha. Sure, this may just be a joke referring to the high amount of sugar and calories in the drink, but the problem is that the customer's two sisters both suffer from type 1 diabetes.
"That first word just automatically brought the picture of both sisters in my head, and I was taken aback," said the Starbucks customer.
Starbucks baristas are instructed to only write customers' names or the type of drink on the cups. An email from Starbucks said they are working directly with the employee who did this to ensure it doesn't happen again. And, for what it's worth, that is all the customer is asking for as well.
The biggest story to come out of the 80th edition of The Masters Tournament was probably the quadruple-bogey defending champion Jordan Spieth took at the 12th hole that eventually cost him a shot at claiming back-to-back green jackets.
But the craziest shot of the tournament -- and perhaps in Augusta National history -- came at the par 3 16th when Louis Oosthuizen's tee shot hit the green and began making its way toward the hole. The only problem was that J.B. Holmes's ball was in the way.
Or was it?
Oosthuizen's last name might be a damn nightmare, but hitting a hole-in-one like that on the final day of The Masters definitely qualifies as a dream come true.
Damn you, people. This is golf! Shooter McGavin Is Still Having Fun On The Golf Course 20 Years After 'Happy Gilmore'