And by "ugly," I meant hilarious. Sometimes you gotta know when you're beaten and walk away applauding.
(via Imgur)
Then again: These Hilariously Awkward Breakup Texts Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself
I'm out shooting B roll for sweeps and this happens at Walmart @CBS12pic.twitter.com/E0721MGz2x
— Matthew Law (@MattLaw_CBS12) April 13, 2016
Cooking spinach pic.twitter.com/FqLdJrXQFM
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) March 31, 2016
hey how's it goin
— FOOLVO (@fro_vo) January 22, 2015
"not much you"
that's nice
"yeah good talkin to ya"
i will
I've a lot of respect for Mark Hamill's 30 year attachment to this jumper. pic.twitter.com/Bv418Ucohd
— paul haine (@paul_haine) March 29, 2016
if one member of the motorcycle gang has to pee do they all stop or does he just have to catch back up?
— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) March 30, 2016
Superman: I'm faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive-
— ♡ Good Account ♡ (@SortaBad) March 30, 2016
Batman: I fight a penguin and this really persistent clown
You could say that my "signature dating move" is texting 'r u getting these lol'
— Greg Dorris (@GregDorris) March 30, 2016
I would give you a ride home but I haven't come up with a good explanation for all the half drunken bottles of water in the backseat.
— Moses Storm (@MosesStorm) March 29, 2016
*roasting a marshmallow over the fire* tell me where you hid the jewels you bastard
— local badboy, (@hippieswordfish) March 30, 2016
The interview was going great until my puppet started screaming.
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) September 22, 2014
Me and my lover, sitting in a tree A-R-G-U-I-N-G
— Jake (@jake_lach) August 6, 2015
ME: My dog's so happy I'm working from home.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) March 30, 2016
DOG (to camera): Honestly, a heads up would have been nice. I had shit planned today.
What romantic comedies never show is the color of the water after someone takes a bath.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) March 30, 2016
If you're ever engulfed in a Pompeii-style eruption, look up & over your shoulder to avoid being fossilized with a permanent double chin.
— Frank Whitehouse (@WheelTod) March 30, 2016
This account has been swearing at a feminist outlet for weeks to show her support for Trump. I can't stop laughing. pic.twitter.com/3dO2bML5X6
— Katie Klabusich (@Katie_Speak) March 29, 2016
A good way to remember how many chains 2 Chainz has is to just think "he has 2 chains"
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) March 27, 2016
[a man stops breathing]
— Ste(ph)en (@stephenjmolloy) July 25, 2015
Wife: "Help my husband! Does anybody know CPR?"
*smugly step forward*
Me: "I know all the letters of the alphabet."
[opening Pop Tarts, I find Ninja stars]
— Ygrene (@Ygrene) January 21, 2016
Me: what the hell?
[Pop Tart sails by me & lodges into cabinet]
Ninja behind me: what the hell?!
trying to fit into my summer clothes again pic.twitter.com/8KweF1U19j
— spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) March 31, 2016
1996: if I just made 40k I'd be fine
— Nice Eric (@ericsshadow) March 29, 2016
2006: if I just made 60k I'd be fine
2016: if I just made 9 million dollars I'd be fine
I couldn't remember the term "hazmat suit," so I called it a "science burqa."
— rachelle mandik (@rachelle_mandik) February 20, 2016
At KFC you can now get a handjob using searing grease as lube.
— part-time meme queen (@dylanjakemorris) April 15, 2016
all i'm saying is that it works with a lot of @KFCAustralia ads pic.twitter.com/6H9FLbPzKw
— ☹ Illy Bocean ☹ (@IllyBocean) April 15, 2016
Wait, is KFC introducing jerk chicken? Was that the joke?
— barry (@barrysaunders) April 15, 2016
Today @KFCAustralia learned that chicken is not THAT sexy.
— Barbara J (@mintie) April 15, 2016
@KFCAustralia so new hot and spicy KFC is cumming soon. How soon? like a couple of minutes lol
— Richard Edwards (@richieaussie) April 15, 2016
Real poor form with your social media @KFCAustralia What a cock up!!! @RealTimFerguson@ABCmediawatch@CookSuckpic.twitter.com/b0nBptEDXW
— Funkosis (@langmonster) April 15, 2016
We are very sorry for our earlier tweet on H&S - we didn't mean to offend and removed it when we realised we'd made an error in judgment.
— KFC Australia (@KFCAustralia) April 15, 2016