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Articles on this Page
- 04/27/16--12:24: _How's Your Day Goin...
- 04/27/16--13:10: _The 'Game of Throne...
- 04/27/16--13:48: _Florida Man Loses H...
- 04/27/16--14:22: _Canadian Province B...
- 04/28/16--04:14: _Today's Funny Photos
- 04/28/16--04:41: _These 12 People Tri...
- 04/28/16--05:50: _The Weekly Mandator...
- 04/28/16--06:50: _The Craziest Gravey...
- 04/28/16--06:50: _The Worst Exercise ...
- 04/28/16--06:59: _This Animals Cover ...
- 04/28/16--07:25: _Celebrate Jessica A...
- 04/28/16--07:47: _14 Photos That Will...
- 04/28/16--07:50: _These Stupid Kids D...
- 04/28/16--09:35: _Chris Evans Got Cau...
- 04/28/16--09:50: _The Funniest GIFs O...
- 04/28/16--11:31: _15 Vintage Ads That...
- 04/28/16--12:05: _Drew Rosenhaus Used...
- 04/28/16--14:09: _Hiking With Sara Je...
- 04/28/16--14:19: _This Is Probably Th...
- 04/28/16--16:28: _Meet the Naughtiest...
- 04/27/16--12:24: How's Your Day Going? Mine Is Going Like This
- 04/28/16--04:14: Today's Funny Photos
- 04/28/16--04:41: These 12 People Tried To Be Cool And Failed Miserably
- 04/28/16--05:50: The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Bending Over Backwards
- 04/28/16--06:50: The Craziest Graveyards In The World
- 04/28/16--06:50: The Worst Exercise Myths Debunked
- 04/28/16--07:25: Celebrate Jessica Alba's Birthday Today With Her Hottest GIFs
- 04/28/16--07:47: 14 Photos That Will Make You Reach For The Vomit Bag
- 04/28/16--07:50: These Stupid Kids Don't Know How To Drink Water
- 04/28/16--09:50: The Funniest GIFs Of The Week
- 04/28/16--11:31: 15 Vintage Ads That Wouldn't See The Light Of Day Today
- 04/28/16--14:09: Hiking With Sara Jean Underwood Seems Like A Pretty Good Time
- 04/28/16--16:28: Meet the Naughtiest Yoga Girl on Instagram @thenaughtyyogini
Every day has its highest and lowest point, but Wednesday is the only day where you hit your peak twice. First when you remember that you're halfway through the week, then when you hit that workday high, mine's usually around 10:30 a.m. (before realizing you have nothing left in the tank). But you have to come down from that feeling eventually and realize you still have half a week to go. Here's a video demonstration for those who prefer a visual aid.
Related: This Is Not How You Want To Finish A Bike Race
I mean, who needs porn when you've got the Red Woman showing off the goods to every dude she sees in a fire?
According to Pornhub, the yearning for porn dropped four percent during the "Game of Thrones" Season 6 premiere Sunday night, but the searches for smut related to the hit HBO series skyrocketed during the 24-hour period leading up to it.
As the graph shows, traffic on Pornhub's website dropped four percent in the United States during the premiere and didn't make it back up to its usual level until everybody's girlfriends went to bed nearly four hours afterward. And considering the fact that Pornhub has nearly 60 million "visitors" every day, that's a fairly significant drop because Americans make up the majority of that number.
But while the need for skin flicks wasn't there when the show was actually airing, the same can't be said about the 24 hours leading up to the highly-anticipated premiere, as searches for the Red Woman getting humped and other "Game of Thrones"-related searches shot up some 370 percent.
Although sadly, in order to get exactly what you're looking for instead of an image that will make you limp for 24 hours, it looks as though you'll have to search for "young Red Woman" from here on out.
Speaking of limp: That Ted Cruz Lookalike From 'Maury' Is About To Do Porn For $10,000
That seems like a rather reasonable request, but you should know by now that when it comes to "Florida Man," nothing is ever reasonable.
According to the Northwest Florida Daily News, a 28-year-old man was arrested Saturday afternoon after people asked him to stop having sex in a Fort Walton Beach apartment complex's pool for a number of reasons, with the fact that kids were present being near the top of the list.
Police said Austin Misiak lost his shit after several people asked him to take it elsewhere. He started by jumping out of the pool, chasing the children and trying to hit them, hopefully with something above the belt. He then started yelling at a man who was trying to soak up the Florida sun "for no reason," causing the man to leave the area "out of fear he was going to be struck."
It eventually took a 15-year-old girl and her boyfriend to put Misiak in his place before deputies from the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office arrived. The girl yelled at Misiak to leave the kids and man alone. Misiak didn't care for that request either, so he made a move toward her as if he was going to hit her, and that's when her boyfriend stepped in and punched him twice.
Officers said Misiak was "drunk" and told them "nothing happened" when they arrived on the scene. They charged him with felony lewd exhibition and misdemeanor assault.
No word yet on what the unnamed woman saw in Misiak that made her want to have sex with him.
At least he wasn't having sex with a dog: Florida Man Had Sex With His Pit Bull In Front Of His Neighbors
Weird. When I was in high school, everybody blamed the quarterback.
But according to the Edmonton Journal, officials in Alberta are now blaming social media for the 80 percent rise in gonorrhea and the doubling of syphilis cases.
The doctor making that claim? You guessed it -- this woman:
"The use of social media to make an anonymous connection, very quickly, we believe is driving this particular outbreak," said Dr. Karen Grimsrud, the province's new chief medical officer of health. "When people don't know their sexual partners' identities, it makes it difficult for public health to contact partners, as far as setting up testing and treatment."
Health officials said they're going to start advertising on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram "and whatever else comes along" to help fight the fact that more than 3,400 cases of gonorrhea were reported last year along with more than 350 people being told that like the majority of 15th century pirates, they were infected with syphilis.
It sounds like somebody might want to tell these cats about Tinder. Oh, and condoms.
Those wacky Canadians and their deadly sexual habits: Canadian Couple Died While Having Sex In A Hot Tub
Everyone has that one friend who will do absolutely anything for them. For me, it's my pal Garth Blazer. That's not his real name, but I can't write his real name because he went into witness protection after killing one of my enemies for me. But Garth, if you're reading this, you're my boy. Enjoy the funnies!
Don't miss out! Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, too.
Yesterday's Funny Photos were pretty rad, too.
Go here for even more funny stuff.
The fun thing about idiots is that they come in all shapes and sizes. Their IQs, on the other hand, all run around the 70 range, I imagine. Combine that with the need to feel cool, and you've got a collection of some of the most satisfyingly hilarious GIFs around.
Related: 12 Highly Satisfying GIFs Of People Biffing It On Hoverboards
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Previously on Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Piss Off!
Why exactly do we think that the ground is the best place to put dead bodies? That is, aside from keeping them away from raccoons or whatever. In some parts of China, corpses are hung out to dry -- literally -- in coffins tenuously lashed to the faces of cliffs. In the Sichuan province, the Bo people who lived there several centuries ago left behind one of the most perplexing graveyards ever. Attached to the steep sides of several mountains are a number of coffins, each carved from a hollowed-out tree trunk. Some archaeologists believe the Bo thought that this weird form of burial would make it easier for the gods to collect their spirits.
The Middle East's attitudes towards sex and sexuality are notoriously restrictive, which is why it's deeply weird that the cemetery of Khalid Nabi exists. Located in the Golestan province of northern Iran, Khalid Nabi has become a tourist attraction due to the curious shape of its tombstones. About 600 of the site's grave markers resemble nothing more than erect human penises jutting forth from the soil, and others look like the outline of women with huge breasts. Some archeologists pooh-pooh that theory, claiming that they're actually designed in the shape of men wearing turbans, but they really look like dicks to us. Many tourists visit the graveyard every year, much to the chagrin of the Iranian government who are a bit embarrassed by it.
Dargavs City Of The Dead
Sometimes a simple cemetery isn't enough to satisfy the dead. Sometimes they need a whole city. The odd little village of Dargavs in the North Ossetia region of Russia looks pretty charming from a distance, a smattering of 99 stone huts and houses on a grassy hillside over the Fiagdon River. But nobody lives in those houses -- they're mausoleums, built by the native people in the 17th century. Legend has it that a plague ravaged the area back then and the residents had to build the houses to quarantine their relatives. When they died inside them, they simply walled up the doors and turned them into makeshift crypts rather than take the risk of burying them and exposing themselves to the plague.
After the collapse of communism, the next natural step for Russia was the rise of organized crime. We've all heard stories about the brutal ways of the Moscow mafia, but if you want to see where they wind up, take a trip to the town of Yekaterinburg. Located in the Ural Mountains, it's the fourth-largest city in Russia and is known for metal processing and machine work. It's also known for crime, as the Shirokorechenskoe Cemetery aptly illustrates. Some of the region's most notorious Mafia bosses are buried in an alley here, with massive black marble tombstones laser-etched with photorealistic portraits of the gangsters in their prime. Beneath them are descriptions of their skills like "expert in knife-throwing."
Neptune Memorial Reef
Burial at sea is a common practice for sailors far from home (and Osama Bin Laden), but this is a little ridiculous. The Neptune Memorial Reef located off the coast of Florida is a unique way to dispose of your mortal remains. The structures of this massive man-made complex are made of concrete mixed with human ashes. Memorial plaques with the names of "residents" are affixed to the objects, and the grand design is of an underwater city with roads and benches that divers can relax on. The project has fallen on hard times in recent years, and it's unknown as to whether it will ever expand to its proposed final size of 16 undersea acres.
Religious traditions play a big part in how people get buried, but what happens when those traditions get weird? Take a trip up to remote Eklutna, Alaska, for a pretty amazing example. This region was inhabited by the native Danaina people, but when Russian Orthodox migrants settled there in the 1800s their two cultures merged in an interesting way. One of the best examples is in the graveyard of St. Nicholas Orthodox Church. When a local dies, their body is placed in an unmarked grave and covered with a blanket. Forty days later, their family constructs a "spirit house," a brightly colored wooden structure that looks like a Barbie doghouse, and puts it over the plot. Over the next few decades, the spirit houses rot away and are absorbed into the earth.
Merry Cemetery Of Sapanta
Typically gravestones are pretty sedate affairs -- a slab of stone, maybe a few lines carved on it, and we call it a day. But at one unusual cemetery in Romania, the dead get a little more style. The Merry Cemetery of Sapanta is famous worldwide for its ostentatiously decorated grave markers, courtesy of one nosy man. Stan Ion Patras was a local woodcarver who loved gossip, and when a town resident died he would carve them a wooden cross for their grave that depicted their life in all its glory, from triumph to tragedy. Patras passed on in 1977 but his apprentice is carrying on the bizarre tradition.
Manila Chinese Cemetery
Known as the "Beverly Hills Of The Dead," the notorious Chinese Cemetery in the capital of the Philippines is the place for that country's super wealthy to retire in style. The cemetery was built during the Spanish colonial period when non-Catholic Chinese were forbidden from being buried, and it not only contains the island's oldest Buddhist temple but many other monuments to the famous dead. The weirdest residents, though, are still alive. Mausoleums are common for burial due to the humid climate, and rich Filipinos have built enormous burial structures for their dead family members. In keeping with Chinese tradition, the mausoleums are equipped with beds, bathrooms and other conveniences for the dead person to use. These buildings are so big that in some cases living relatives have also moved into them to save money.
Not all cemeteries bury their residents in the ground. Sometimes, they use them for construction. The Sedlec Ossuary in the Czech Republic town of Kutna Hora shows exactly how much mileage you can get out of a bunch of old bones. Somewhere between 40,000 and 70,000 dead people are represented in the chapel and its grounds. Pretty much everywhere you look there's furniture made from human bones, including a huge chandelier that contains at least one of every bone in the body and the coat of arms of the Schwarzenberg family who commissioned the ossuary's decoration.
New Lucky Restaurant
The problem with burying people in the ground is that you can't really do anything with that space afterwards. Well, not usually. Welcome to the New Lucky Restaurant in Ahmadabad, India. Owner Krishnan Kutti bought an old Muslim cemetery with about a dozen graves in it and decided to just roll with it and open a cafe where you can eat with corpses. Each of the grave areas is blocked off with waist-high iron fencing, and tables fill the rest of the floor space. Every morning, Kutti and his staff honor the original occupants by wiping down their graves and replacing the flowers on them, then they open for business. He says he's doing well financially, and patrons don't seem to mind the unique experience.
Stretch Before Exercise To Prevent Injury
You're going to have a tough time finding someone who doesn't stretch before they exercise, but science reveals that it's not the cure-all you might think. Some studies even found that stretching can reduce your athletic performance! What you really need to be doing before you work out is warming up -- yes, this can include stretching, but it's more important to move your body dynamically to not only loosen your muscles but get your heart rate up. Jumping rope, running in place or other exercises that emulate the range of motion you'll be doing in your workout are best. Leave the stretching for the cool-down, where it actually does some good.
Running On A Treadmill Is Better Than Running On The Street
Every gym has a row or two of treadmills that are usually filled-up with people sweating through the miles. But can't you just run outside for free, like we did when we were naked cavemen? Fitness buffs will try to tell you that jogging on a treadmill reduces the wear and tear on your knees from running, but that's completely bogus. Knee stress is caused by the weight of your body as you run, and that's going to be the same whether you're jogging on concrete or a conveyor belt. The best way to reduce that impact is just to mix up your exercise -- run where you like, but also bike, or do the elliptical or swim, all of which are much easier on the knees.
Do Crunches, Get Abs
Getting a six-pack is a goal for pretty much every bro at the gym, and since elementary school you've been taught that the best way to work your abs is through crunches. Guess what? Crunches suck at building the definition between the abdominal muscles you need for a six-pack. It's much more important that you do interval training and keep your body burning fat effectively -- stress and lack of sleep trigger your system to pack fat around the waist. As for exercise, doing squats, chin-ups and deadlifts are going to shred those abdominals way more effectively than crunches.
Lactic Acid Makes Muscles Hurt
When you feel sore after an intense workout, the common gym wisdom is that it's due to lactic acid buildup in your muscle tissue. That's completely false. Delayed-onset muscle soreness, as it's technically known, doesn't have anything to do with acid at all. That pain you feel is due to the muscle actually tearing slightly as you exercise -- the process of re-growing makes muscles stronger. That's why you increase the weight you lift on a training regimen, to continue the process of damaging and repairing muscle tissue to make it grow. It's just how the body works!
Working Out Makes You Gain Weight
Muscle weighs more than fat, so if you pump iron you won't lose weight, right? Wrong. Although it's true that it's easier to eat less food than to burn off those corresponding calories, there's no evidence that working out causes weight gain, unless you're specifically trying to add bulk. Exercise actually helps maintain muscle while forcing the body to burn fat, which is the whole point. This myth probably dates back to studies that found people who exercised for weight loss without changing their diet didn't do as well as people who altered their food intake too, which no duh.
Focusing On A Body Part Burns Fat There
If you've got a few inches around the gut, you should do crunches. Bingo wings on your arms? More curls. It's a popular fitness delusion that if you want to cut fat in a specific body part, you should do exercises that target that region. That's scientifically false, and a study in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning proved it. The research had test subjects conduct a 12-week program where they only worked one of their legs, then measured the fat burn on both sides. It was exactly the same for the working leg and the lazy one, showing that "targeting" body parts doesn't burn any more flab.
If You're Not Sweating, You're Not Working Hard Enough
Gyms are stocked with towels explicitly to wipe down perspiration from hard-working exercisers, and trainers will tell you that you need to break a sweat to prove you're pushing yourself. That patently isn't true. First, different people have different levels of perspiration -- some sweat easier than others. Second, the amount of sweat you produce really has little correlation to your calories burned or muscles built. Some exercises, like Bikram yoga, will have you sweating a lot but not actually burning many calories. Don't stress about how much sweat you need to wipe off the equipment, just make sure you do it.
Start Your Workout With Cardio
It's common sense that when you get to the gym, you knock out 20 minutes of cardio to get your heart rate up and prime your body for lifting. Guess what? That doesn't work. Cardio -- running, doing the elliptical, etc. -- can lower your levels of available glycogen, which powers your lifts. You won't be able to push yourself as hard as you need to -- and gains come when you're pushing. However, doing cardio after your weight training is better for several reasons. Lifting boosts testosterone and cortisol, both of which can spur you to increased endurance. Even better, schedule a cardio session 1-2 hours after you hit the weights.
You Need A Sports Drink When You Exercise
We have to give props to Gatorade, Vitamin Water and all of their relatives -- they've certainly carved out a profitable market for themselves as a vital refresher after exercise. But guess what? If you aren't doing lengthy cardio, it's possible that you could actually be gaining fat from high-calorie drinks. Sports drinks are formulated to provide the water lost in sweat and the glucose that powers your muscles over long periods. They're not designed for general exercise and except for special circumstances you're better off drinking good old-fashioned zero-calorie water.
No Pain, No Gain
One of the most pernicious exercise myths is also one of the worst for you -- the idea that a workout needs to hurt to be effective. Depending on the kind of exercise you're doing, you could experience mild muscle pain -- that burning in your quads when you squat is a good example -- but anything more intense than that can often be a warning sign. Any sharp or acute pain means you're doing something wrong and putting your health at risk, so stop what you're doing immediately. A better way to tell if you're done with your workout is when you can no longer maintain good form on your exercise, not when you're in too much pain to keep going.
Sure, the person who did this was probably high on something other than life, but hell, it was totally worth it because this animals cover of The Pixies' "Where Is My Mind" is amazing.
Check out the video below thanks to Insane Cherry:
Now if only these animals could embark on a world tour. It would surely be better than the majority of music out there. I mean, check out their cover of Linkin Park's "Numb."
Dorothy would be proud: 'Wizard Of Cat' Is Worth Watching At Least 50 Times In A Row
It's always nice to use any excuse to look up a celebrity's hottest GIFs, but it's so much better when it's their birthday. Jessica Alba turns 35-years-old today, and while we celebrated her birthday last year with a bikini tribute, this year we thought we'd dive into the old GIF bin and pull out some gems. So kick back, hum "Happy Birthday" to yourself and enjoy Alba's finest work.
Happy Birthday, Jessica. Make it a good one today.
And thanks for this: 10 Years After 'Into The Blue' And Jessica Alba Still Stuns In The Water
Let me first start off by apologizing to my family. I know you guys wanted me to do something with my life and make you proud, but it seems that this is the road I've taken. Thanks a lot, Frost. So, if you have a weak stomach, you may want to steer clear of the following 14 pictures because they will ruin you. But since you won't listen to my warning and you're curious as hell, check out these horrible, disgusting pictures. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Via eBaum's World
The hell? This Picture Of A Man Kissing A Baby Is Surprisingly NSFW
Kids are just tiny dummies, and that is usually apparent when they try to drink water out of a fountain or hose; they just have no clue how it works. And it's pretty hilarious watching them try anyway. While no kids are hilariously injured here, kids who can't drink water is still full of laughs.
But hey, grown-ups are stupid, too:
So yeah, we are all incapable:
h/t Funny or Die
Such dopes: A Gallery Of Little Kids Getting Stuck Everywhere
There are just a few days left until the highly anticipated "Captain America: Civil War" is released, and while many are excited, it seems star Chris Evans is the most excited of all. Or at least it seems that way based on the picture below.
While at the film's red carpet premiere, Evans stood alongside Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany, only to get caught staring down at Olsen's breasts (and we can't blame him at all). And since the Internet lives for these moments, check out what they did once they set their eyes on this photo.
Here's the original photo:
And this is what followed:
h/t Bro Bible
You're not alone, Chris: All These Guys Were Caught Checking Out Women
She can tie her bikini top with both hands behind her back. Impressive.
Finally, a cat gets what's coming to it.
Meanwhile, in dog territory...
The one major flaw in his logic? Being eight feet tall.
Nothing to see here. Just a dog sitting on a fence.
Being that cool must be exhausting.
No idea what I just witnessed, but I'll assume they won.
Muck and roll!
What did we JUST talk about last week?
Who wants to tell him that's also a penalty?
Pope or not, that's just plane funny (yeah, I know it's a helicopter!).
Let's see that again...in instant replay.
We may have already mentioned this, but last week's hilarious GIFs were a pretty big deal.
Times sure have changed, and that's pretty evident when we look at the ads of yesteryear. From super pro-smoking ads to very sexist ads, the following vintage ads wouldn't stand a chance in hell of being released today. So for now, take a look at what your grandparents were seeing while growing up.
Via Can You Actually
And what's wrong with these kids? Terrifying Children In 1950s Ads
Sports agent Drew Rosenhaus is a smart man. Not only does he get his clients the best deal, but he gets himself the best deal, too. And judging by his recent tweets, maybe the greatest deal of all time.
In a lame ploy, Rosenhaus used his baby as an excuse to let everyone know that he's better off than you because he gets to sleep with that hot blonde in blue, who is his wife Lisa. And oh yeah, the gal in white is Michelle, his sister-in-law. Not a bad deal at all. Check out the pics below via Drew's Twitter:
This is my 28th NFL Draft as an agent. But it is my 1st with baby Elle. So it is definitely my best one pic.twitter.com/zjM27huT1E— Drew Rosenhaus (@RosenhausSports) April 28, 2016
Let me try this again and get it right this time. Baby Elle, Mom Lisa and Aunt Michelle. pic.twitter.com/EZF2OeuE4N— Drew Rosenhaus (@RosenhausSports) April 28, 2016
And since Lisa is already married, let's move on to Michelle and take a look at some of her photos thanks to her Instagram:
Should have become a sports agent, Bryan.
h/t Barstool Sports
Good job, fellas: The 11 Hottest (Much Less Famous) Wives Of Celebrities
A few days ago, Sara Jean Underwood was kind enough to begin sharing hiking photos from Oregon on her Instagram page. We're not much for camping or hiking here at Mandatory, but we're also not made of stone. What exactly do we mean by that? We'll let the picture below serve as explanation.
Fortunately, there are plenty more where that came from. Indulge as you contemplate whether or not you need to venture out and become a little more outdoorsy.
More: Sara Jean Underwood And Tina Louise Are Topless Friends Who Like to Share
Depends on who you ask.
If you asked me, I would say it's one of the worst tattoos anyone could ever get. However, if you asked the woman (The Naughty Yogini) who posted the tattoo photo below, she might tell you that it's great.
Judge for yourself:
It may not be the best choice of tattoo, but the attention to detail is superb.
Related: Man Dumped By Wife For Getting A Penis Tattoo On His Thigh
Celeste McQueen, better known on Instagram as The Naughty Yogini (@thenaughtyyogini), is proving to be one of the Hottest Girls in Yoga Pants on Snapchat, not too mention one of the Hottest Fitness Snapchat Girls. Tall, blonde and curvy, this gorgeous specimen is no stranger to some of the kinkiest things rolling down the social media superhighway. From conceptual sex art to bondage and ball gags, New York's Naughty Yogini is indeed a dirty martini of hot photos both on Instagram and Snapchat (@naughtyyogini). And once you've had a taste, there's no giving her up.
Enjoy more of these photos on Instagram @thenaughtyyogini.