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- 05/04/16--07:50: _22 Life Hacks For A...
- 05/04/16--09:50: _30 Of The Greatest ...
- 05/04/16--10:24: _This Intern Fell As...
- 05/04/16--10:32: _This Is Why You Sho...
- 05/04/16--11:11: _What Do You Think O...
- 05/04/16--11:31: _Watch This Dude Lan...
- 05/04/16--11:54: _The World Finally H...
- 05/04/16--12:35: _An Alligator Ringin...
- 05/04/16--23:32: _This Kid Woke Up Fr...
- 05/05/16--00:31: _Here's a Chinese Ki...
- 05/05/16--03:42: _Folks Do Things A L...
- 05/05/16--04:09: _Today's Funny Photos
- 05/05/16--04:11: _These People Played...
- 05/05/16--04:50: _'Just Manly Things'...
- 05/05/16--05:50: _Sometimes Life Kick...
- 05/05/16--07:04: _Brazilian Reporter ...
- 05/05/16--07:15: _Gwen Stefani, Georg...
- 05/05/16--07:29: _Amy Schumer Took Ov...
- 05/05/16--07:50: _The Funniest GIFs O...
- 05/05/16--08:49: _Trashy Mom Selfies ...
- 05/04/16--07:50: 22 Life Hacks For Assholes
- 05/04/16--09:50: 30 Of The Greatest Wrestling Fan Signs Of All Time
- 05/04/16--10:32: This Is Why You Should Never Cry After A Spray Tan
- 05/04/16--11:11: What Do You Think Of Britney Spears' New Swimsuit?
- 05/04/16--11:31: Watch This Dude Land On The Mattress That Takes Out His Motorcycle
- 05/04/16--11:54: The World Finally Has Its First Sex-Themed Amusement Park
- 05/04/16--23:32: This Kid Woke Up From Surgery And Couldn't Stop Talking Gangster
- 05/05/16--00:31: Here's a Chinese Kid With 31 Fingers And Toes
- 05/05/16--03:42: Folks Do Things A Little Differently In Russia
- 05/05/16--04:09: Today's Funny Photos
- 05/05/16--04:11: These People Played With Fire And Got Burned
- 05/05/16--04:50: 'Just Manly Things' That Us Manly Men Go Through
- 05/05/16--05:50: Sometimes Life Kicks Your Ass
- 05/05/16--07:50: The Funniest GIFs Of The Week
- 05/05/16--08:49: Trashy Mom Selfies And Photos That Prove They Suck At Motherhood
1. Sleep at work with your head down as if you're praying. If caught, raise your head and say, "In Jesus' name, amen." Your boss will be too paranoid of legal ramifications to yell at you.
2. Wear military insignia at a country bar to get free drinks all night.
3. If you're too scared to walk up to that hot girl and ask her out, picture her immediately after eating tainted Taco Bell, sweating bullets on the can.
4. Avoid work by telling your boss that your brother recently came out of the closet and you need to support him while he informs your parents. If you need to skip another day, tell your boss your father broke both your brother's legs and you're in the hospital with him.
5. Place parking cones around your vehicle while illegally parked. Authorities will assume other authorities put them there.
6. Go to a hippie concert and sell brownies for $10 a pop. The hippies will think they're filled with pot. An hour later when they feel nothing, you will be long gone, counting your money (and they won't call the cops because they're the stoners).
7. If you're drinking and driving (ice cold sodas, of course) and don't have a pesky bottle opener, use a seat belt.
8. Walk next to a minority if you're shoplifting. When the alarm goes off, guess who they're going to check?
9. Strap on a SARS mask whenever you use public transportation. No one will want to sit next to you, and you can avoid their germs, as well.
10. Too poor to buy a grill? Steal a shopping cart.
11. Right before a huge test, email everyone in class. Tell them you've created a masterful study guide and that you'd like to compare notes. Once you've gotten theirs, mysteriously disappear.
12. If you've hit a parked car, get out and write a note on the hood that says, "If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go, I can show you things you ain't never seen before. Swaggy." Everyone in the vicinity will assume you're writing a note like a responsible citizen, when in reality, you're writing lyrics to a Justin Bieber song.
13. When you're having a rough day and you'd like to blow off some steam, flip off a baby. The baby can't fight back, and the gesture is cathartic.
14. Save on cleaning supplies by rubbing your cat on the floors of your home.
15. Visit Costco and hit up the free samples. Double back three or four times because the servers are usually decrepit old ladies who won't remember you.
16. To avoid paying for parking, walk to the entrance before you get into your car and press the button for a new ticket. When exiting, insert the new ticket into the slot. Unless there's some Johnny Law parking attendant watching your every move, you get free parking.
17. Remaining silent is one of the most effective ways to get information out of someone. If that doesn't work, waterboard them.
18. Always carry fart spray in your car. In the case that you get pulled over by a cop, tell him you have IBS. If he doesn't budge, while he's back in his cruiser entering your information, pull out a jar of Nutella and rub it on your fingers as proof. Say, "Please, officer, please," while holding your stomach. He'll let you off. If he doesn't, he's Satan in the flesh.
19. If you're in a crowded bar and there's no place to sit, hit on a hot girl. Tell her that you like the way she smells and that she has a pretty mouth. She will leave, and you can take her seat.
20. Enter every fruit as bananas at self-checkout machines. Bananas are the cheapest by a huge margin, and self-checkout machines don't have eyes.
21. Tell your mother that your voicemail is broken. This can save you hours per week.
22. Don't pay for textbooks. Use Google.
1. Never has a sign so good contained so much information.
2. Maybe the best combination ever of a sign and brilliant camera work.
3. I mean, this probably applies to so many people at every live event.
4. This is either the best typo or the best troll ever.
5. Well that's one way of handling marketing and recruiting for your college.
6. During a house show, Dean Ambrose wrote "titty master" on his tape for some reason, and fans never let him forget about it.
7. Well we have some bad news for you, buddy.
8. Now that's how you properly make fun of Roman Reigns.
9. Is he cursed by a gypsy or some sort of Highlander?
10. Some bizarre trivia about Batista. (via Reddit)
11. Out of everyone there, someone has to be a doctor, right?
12. Sometimes you just wanna shout it from the rooftops!
13. Such an oddly specific accusation to make against the Hitman.
14. Just because your mom didn't get tickets doesn't mean you can't make her feel special.
15. You know he thought this was the most clever thing anyone had ever written.
16. Approximately 20 minutes into SummerSlam 2000 this guy could be seen desperately trying to get his sign on TV while he's clearly drunk and has already started taking his shirt off. It's just a perfect moment.
17. That's a lot of effort to illustrate Rikishi's butt.
18. A Reddit user decided to promote his account at the perfect moment and totally ruined the dramatic shot of Daniel Bryan winning the championship at WrestleMania.
19. Not really a pun, but it's effective nonetheless.
20. Go away, John Cena.
21. OK that's probably not true, though. (via Reddit)
22. Trolling John Cena will absolutely never get old (nor will the spelling mistakes).
23. A little too much information from this fan.
24. This old school sign must have been so controversial at the time.
25. Nothing like trolling Michael Cole while you're sitting directly behind him.
26. No sign has ever been more truthful and honest than this one.
27. This guy's trolling is on a whole new level.
28. Nope and you probably won't be seeing him ever again, pal.
29. Is that a photo-realistic rendition? If so, then I definitely don't remember them
30. This guy just totally gets it.
You can't even fall asleep anymore without getting razzed relentlessly. Sure, the dude in the following photos and GIFs was an intern and did so at work, but give the Photoshops a rest, Internet, would you? (Just kidding; please never stop.)
Don't worry, buddy, you aren't alone: Guy Falls Asleep At Work, Internet Steps Up And Brilliantly Photoshops Him
Anyone who meets me face-to-face will quickly realize that I don't spend too much time at tanning salons, let alone outside, as my skin is pretty much translucent. Anyway, 17-year-old Skyler Davis wanted to get a spray tan one week before her prom.
The only problem was that 10 minutes after getting her spray tan she had a small argument with her boyfriend, which led to tears. And this was the outcome:
"As soon as my tears started coming, I saw I had no tissues in my car and knew I was doomed," Davis tells BuzzFeed. "All of a sudden there were white streaks on my once-tan face. Looking in the mirror, I only began to cry more, and there was absolutely nothing I could do but let the tears roll down my face and completely ruin my spray tan."
"I only began to cry more." That sounds like me every morning before work.
Not to fear, there's a happy ending to this story. Davis was able to wash the tan off in the shower, and went back in the next day to get another spray tan. This time, no tears followed.
Bet these folks cried: 25 Horribly Embarrassing Sun Burns That Ruined More Than Just Their Day
I bet a lot of you are always on the edge of your seat waiting to see what Britney Spears will pull out of her wardrobe next. And if you aren't, then what is the point of creeping on Instagram every late night like I do? Since here at Mandatory we spend our time being creeps, we thought we'd share a nice little gem we found while "researching" stuff: Spears looking great in a swimsuit.
Take a look at her new favorite swimsuit thanks to her Instagram:
Hey, if she says she bought three swimsuits she might as well show us the other two because we're terribly deprived.
She sure loves showing off her swimsuits: Britney Spears Shows Off Her Toned Body In A Bikini
We're not sure if we should consider this guy lucky or unlucky because on one hand, instead of face-planting into a combination of gravel and pavement after a mattress flew off the back of a pickup truck and took out his motorcycle, the dude came to a rest on said mattress. That's pretty lucky.
Then again, how unlucky are you when you're out for a lovely stroll on your bike and you get taken out by a rogue mattress flying through the air?
Either way, it's an entertaining watch, especially given the fact that everybody was OK following the accident. I mean, the dude on the motorcycle might need a clean set of shorts, but other than that, it appears to be all good.
h/t Barstool Sports
There was no mattress attached to the front of this semi, but the dude somehow still walked away from this wreck: Man On A Motorcycle Survives Despite Getting Smoked By A Semi
According to the New York Post, a theme park featuring a nudist pool and penis-shaped bumper cars is set to open in Piracicaba, Brazil in 2018, making it the world's first ever sex-themed amusement park. Check out a map of the grounds thanks to Daily Express:
"ErotikaLand" will also feature a sex shop, naked water slide and movie theater with vibrating seats as well as a snack bar that only sells "aphrodisiac recipes. Along with the ferris wheel and "train of pleasures," developers say the entire park will "lead to delirium" for roughly 3,000 daily visitors.
The only catch? You guessed it: You can't have sex at ErotikaLand. Those looking to hump will have to take it next door to the motel, which will also be owned by the sex park's developers Soft Love.
Naturally, many Piracicaba residents aren't too thrilled about the idea of ErotikaLand coming to their town despite the fact that it will create 250 new jobs because they fear it will attract "debauched individuals."
As for those who apply to be maids at the motel next door, may God have mercy on their souls.
Or you could fly to San Francisco and take a ride in the "sexmobile": People In San Francisco Can Now Have Sex In A 'Hook-Up Truck'
Every now and then, you read or hear a story about a person whose life was saved by simply not being at home when something tragic went down.
There was the guy in Ohio who left the homestead to get some Hot Pockets last year, and a plane crashed into his apartment complex while he was gone. My friend Kelly was thankfully employed and out of the house when a tow truck took a curve too fast and plowed into his living room a few years ago.
And now, it looks as though we can add a South Carolina woman to that list, as an alligator recently tried to ring Jamie Bailey's doorbell while she was at work. I mean, who knows how ugly things could have gotten if she would have been home to answer the door?
Then again, maybe it was just one of those harmless Jehovah's Witness gators.
h/t ABC News
It turns out gators don't care for the "F word" either: Guy Yells "F**k That Alligator," Immediately Gets Eaten By Alligator
"And I was like, 'Yo Rocco, you get that ass, man,'" is something you'd expect to hear out of the mouth of a college bro telling the story of how he just dropped a boatload of his parents' cash at the local tit bar on his buddy's 21st birthday.
But what makes it so funny and unexpected this time around is the fact that it comes from a young, red-haired boy who just woke up from surgery to repair his broken arm and is obviously still feeling the effects of whatever anesthetic the doctors had doped him up with.
With his mom (a.k.a. "Freaky Woman") recording his first moments following the surgery, Brandon goes on a rant for the ages, one that includes "billions of strippers," Dubai people up in his grill and of course, his "boy" named Rocco.
Unfortunately for Brandon, he'll probably find out like the rest of us once the drugs wear off that his "hot-ass wife" really isn't that attractive and his kids were likely fathered by somebody else.
h/t Daily Mail
Who would have thought that kids on drugs would get almost four million views on YouTube? Girl Does The Ice Bucket Challenge Right After Getting Her Wisdom Teeth Pulled
Somebody needs to teach this kid how to play the piano ASAP.
According to CNN, some poor kid in China named Hong Hong was recently born with 16 toes, 15 fingers, four palms and zero thumbs due to a condition known as polydactyly.
Usually passed down in families, polydactyly occurs once in every 1,000 births. But what makes Hong Hong's case so dire is the fact that he was born without any thumbs. Hong Hong's parents have been given mixed advice from doctors, and they have been told a surgery to remove the extra digits and add reconstructed thumbs could set them back almost $30,000.
Despite asking the Internet for help and raising almost $6,000 through donations so far, Hong Hong's parents have decided to stop the "crowdfunding efforts" for the time being because of "mixed comments they've received," and that's beyond sad.
I mean, it's not like we were looking for another example to prove our point, but the fact that some people took issue with this poor family raising money for a life-changing operation goes to show that human beings love to bitch about everything.
Our advice for those whiners? You guessed it: Try going an entire day without using your thumbs to pick things up and see if you're still against this family asking for help to fix their kid's hands.
Pretty much the exact opposite: Jason Pierre-Paul's Fireworks-Mangled Hand Has Been Revealed
Russia is a strange place when compared to the good ol' US of A, and it's apparent from everything to their profile pictures on dating sites and social media to their taste in music. And don't even get us started on all the creepy doppelgängers, the whole vodka obsession, lighting their own cars on fireand teenagers living with porn stars. But all that aside, maybe they aren't so different from us. After all, look at all of the following totally normal things that happen there.
Of course, we can't say Russia's all bad: The Unknown Beauties of the Russian Internet
I don't want to get political, but with Donald Trump cruising toward the Republican nomination for president, I'd just like some clarification on the question below. After that, I'd like him to enjoy the rest of these Cinco de Mayo funnies just like the rest of us. Tenga un buen dia!
Give us a follow on Twitter and Instagram, por favor.
Here are yesterday's Funny Photos, too.
Tons more Funny Photos for you, amigo.
Speaking of camping: Top 10 Reasons Why Camping Sucks
If movies like "Mrs. Doubtfire" and "Billy Madison" have taught us nothing else, it's that people lighting themselves on fire by accident is hilarious. Sure, it can be scary for those directly involved, but from an outsider's point of view, it's a delight. You can try to argue it all you'd like, but the following GIF gallery should make short work of the debate.
Oh no! Blowback!
Don't you ever watch "Happy Days" reruns? Sit on it!
BOOOO! This isn't a "Ghost Rider" audition! Get off the stage!
You think her eyelash wishes got jealous?
Welcome to another fire safety demonstration. This year's lesson: What not to do
I don't know about dinner, but consider yourself served.
The unrated edition of "Cocktail" is brutal.
We get it, Professor Lewis, you work out. Put your damn shirt back on.
Now, if this goes south, I'm going to need you to stomp my crotch repeatedly.
Of course, one out of every 12 unexpected fire victims use the pain to their advantage:
There's just no getting through to some people: Here's A Girl Lighting Her Crotch On Fire During A Dance Competition
There are things that occur in a man's life that every other man can relate to, things that while we may not talk about them very often, still happen. Check out some "just manly" things that happen to all of us.
We are awful creatures.
We gotta deal with this, too: 14 Male Struggles That Are Definitely Real
"Sorry, guys. I saw it on James Bond."
"Are we still on for tonight, though?"
When you're late to work and spot a parking space.
Still better than Supercuts.
"Little bit more...little bit...a little more...too much."
Jason Statham's new movie looks thrilling.
Chivalry isn't dead.
"They didn't teach us this at the academy!"
Sometimes you can't overcome obstacles.
Impressive flip, weak landing.
Now watch the tribute tweets pour in.
Well this is an unfortunate turn of events.
From elation to desperation in 0.2 seconds.
Saddest thing I've seen all year.
Guess all that "work, work, work, work, work, fhfsjhfsjhf" paid off.
Via The Chive
You're not alone: These 25 FMLS Will Make Your Bad Day Feel Not So Bad Anymore
There are a lot of a-holes out there, and they are sometimes easy to spot when a camera is around. That's why you see so many idiots acting up anytime they see a reporter live on the scene. But while most people just make faces in the background, one loser criminal went another route.
Check out the video below thanks to Daniel Noel, and see how fast this dude got punched in the face when he decided to spit on a Brazilian reporter trying to do his job:
I don't want to condone violence, but man, the look on his face after getting slugged brings me joy.
h/t Bro Bible
What the hell is happening? Irritated Reporter Rescues Clueless Old Man From Sinking Car On Live TV
James Corden's Carpool Karaoke has been a massive success (and a nice alternative to Jimmy Fallon's excruciating lip sync battles). And while we've seen plenty of stars like Adele and Stevie Wonder ride shotgun and sing with Corden, the "Late Late Show" host invited some unexpected passengers this time around.
Check out what went down when Corden not only hung out with Gwen Stefani, but also with George Clooney and Julia Roberts:
So that's what rich and beautiful people do with their free time.
The song you choose speaks volumes (pun intended) What Your Karaoke Song Choice Says About You
Amy Schumer is everywhere these days, and regardless of how you feel about her it's not very difficult to see why she's had so much success: She's just a funny gal. During a shoot for Vanity Fair, the comedian took over Andrea's (a VF staffer) Tinder with hopes that she could find her a man.
Let's just say I don't know if she helped her very much:
"What's the dilly wit yo dog" will be a very popular saying at the dog park this summer.
Or maybe Conan and Dave Franco do it better: Watch Conan And Dave Franco Explore Tinder Together
Whatever she was trying to do, safe to assume she nailed it.
At least now we know which is the evil one.
My dad didn't abandon me; his boat took him to live with a nice farm family.
There was nothing else he could have done.
When you say "stay" mid-sneeze (you monster!).
And "Duck Hunt" continues its murderous rampage through the rain forest.
Shh, you'll scare the fish.
I smell another hit SyFy original movie in "Lizardoodle."
So Elevator Man, what is your special power?
In case your needed further proof that kids are a-holes.
Oh, I see what they did. Less impressive now, though.
I'm not an impulse shopper, but I'll give you $100 for that flash drive right now.
By the way, can I have the $100 you owe me for last week's hilarious GIFs?
With a mom like that you can't blame him for drinking.
See? This kid gets it.
That lower back tattoo explains a lot.
That kid just realized how expensive therapy is going to be.
Just like that little girl realized she got the short end of the stick.
The new season of "Teen Mom" looks pretty dramatic.
So does the new season of "Orange is the New Black."
That kid's eyes pretty much tell me he's gonna go all "Carrie" on his mom.
Wish she would spend 20 minutes in English class.
Odd choice for Eminem's new album cover.
And an even odder choice for Mackelmore's new album cover.
But it doesn't top North West's first album cover.
Take your daughter to work day.
Take your son to work day.
Disappoint your son day.
Forget you have a child day.
Is this her Tinder picture?
Baby is probably wishing the condom hadn't failed.
Get away while you can, kid.
"The faster I can learn how to walk the faster I can run away from this hellhole."
Plenty of shitty moms on Facebook: Here Are The 11 Worst Moms On Facebook