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Mandatory

older | 1 | .... | 515 | 516 | (Page 517) | 518 | 519 | .... | 572 | newer

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    While society continues to work on getting an apartment complex on Mars, it looks like we've already accomplished one great feat: getting strapless invisible panties on gals. Talk about progress!

    Thanks to Shibue Couture, ladies now can get strapless panties that are washable, reusable, self-adhesive and even invisible. The Shibue Strapless Panty also erases panty line worries. But since you're only interested in the pictures, here you go!

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent
    Sure it looks like a piece of tape, but hey, no panty lines. Here's a closer look at what this actually is:

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent
    Ahh, makes sense. Now back to the women:

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent
    But seriously, look at this thing:

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent
    Now look at them some more:

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent
    And hey, what about us guys? Forget boxers. What are we? Cavemen?! Look at this:

    Here Are Strapless Invisible Panties Because What Else Is Left To Invent
    Bet you fellas are rushing to get those now.

    h/t Izismile

    Now take a look at this: Watch These Women Try Vibrating Panties On For The First Time

     

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    Apparently, folks in Israel don't enjoy seeing a hot girl prance around on the beach.

    Bar Refaeli Hot Ad, bar refaeli ad banned
    It seems that TV executives had a problem with Bar Refaeliand her new commercial for clothing firm Hoodies because it has been deemed "too raunchy" for their viewers. The 45-second ad shows the 30-year-old Israeli model dancing and smiling at nothing on the beach, taking a shower, smiling some more at nothing and changing her underwear behind a car door.

    Bar Rafaeli Hot Ad
    Gasp! Racy! Take a look at the video below:


    The Second Broadcasting Authority for Television and Radio has ordered for some segments of the ad to be cut out of the commercial in order for it to be shown on Israeli television. And even with the edits the ad won't be shown before 10 p.m. But we can watch it whenever the hell we want. #ThanksAmerica


    I really don't see the big deal.

    Bar Rafaeli Hot Ad
    Not at all.

    h/t The Sun

    We think she's having a baby: Bar Refaeli Posted A Pregnant Bikini Photo In Which She Doesn't Look Pregnant At All

     

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    It's pretty hard to find laughs during "Game of Thrones," since your favorite characters get killed off on a constant basis. Don't worry about all those tears, though, because these funny guys and gals have thought of some truly hilarious jokes that'll brighten your day no matter if you're a die-hard fan or just a casual viewer. There might be a few spoilers, but nothing you wouldn't see anytime you open your browser or have a discussion with friends.



    More: The 25 Funniest Tweets About 'The Walking Dead'

     

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    BBC Radio 1 has stumbled onto a gold mine of comedy with their "Playground Insults" segment. We first saw Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg go mano a mano back in December 2015, with Ferrell emerging the clear victor. This time around, Seth Rogen and Chloë Grace Moretz stopped by to promote "Neighbors 2" and dished out some juvenile digs on each other. You might be surprised to see who wound up on top, though.


    I'm totally calling out everyone on their "swackets" from here on out.

    Related: The Ultimate Insult Creator

     

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    And in most cases, your eyes will tell you, "Who cares?"

    According to Maxim, outside of bluntly asking a young lady, the easiest way to determine if her breasts are real or purchased is by turning on your smartphone's flashlight and pressing it up against them.

    smartphone will tell you if her boobs are real or fake
    If her jugs are fake, the silicone or saline implants will absorb and reflect the light, meaning they'll turn into a set of glow-in-the-dark lamps. Thankfully, at least one girl did the test on herself and posted it on YouTube for all to see:


    Of course, once you perform the test, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing whether or not they're real. However, the odds of her letting you hang around and get the full experience will probably be slim to none.

    No need for your phone's flashlight here: Say Hello To The Woman With The Largest Fake Breasts In The World

     

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    If you're not a fan of writer and comedian Nathan Fielder, that's about to change today. After presidential hopeful Donald Trump (yes, he may be the next PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES) posted a very tasteless tweet about his love for Hispanics via taco bowls, Nathan responded in kind, nailing the exact flaw in The Donald's logic (not to mention his character):


    I think this tweet in response to Nathan's zinger just about sums it up:

    Related: Nathan Fielder's 'STD Prank' on Parents Provides More Hilarious Reactions

     

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    As a short guy, I rather enjoyed writing about these top 10 times it pays to be proportionally sized in the penis department. But even a wee man can get his weenie all wrung up somewhere it shouldn't be. And that's a damn awful experience any way you shake it. No, the pelvic punishments below shouldn't be sentenced upon any man, even those with an unsafe sense of curiosity. But since our fellow fellows had to endure such sticky situations, let's at least let their pain serve as cautionary tales for the rest of us, who will hopefully find strength in such lessons, and resist the next time we're compelled to size up a potential hole that obviously needs filling.

    Penis Captivus
    weirdest places someone got their penis stuck, couple on beach, penis captivus
    While it may sound like an ideal place to get your tubesteak trapped for five or ten minutes -- 30 tops -- getting trapped in a vagina is a real, actual problem with a legitimate Latin word used to describe it: penis captivus. Yikes! Take, for example, what happened to an Italian couple who started hydro-banging in the Mediterranean Sea, which induced a vaginal spasm that produced enough suction to make them unplunge from the sea and finish in the ER with a team of doctors disconnecting their bits 'n' pieces. Now that's amore!


    Metal Pipe
    weirdest places someone got their penis stuck, cutting metal pipe
    Here's two words I never want associated with my manhood: metal grinder. Alas, a Southampton man suffered such a fate when he got his Pied Piper all up in a metal pipe. Good thing the fire department had a metal grinder, too, since the local hospital couldn't get the job done, as restricted blood flow gave our intrepid pipe f--ker a hard-on that wouldn't budge. So seven firemen gave him the grinder treatment in order to save the organ. Which, kind of sounds like the worst porno ever made, doesn't it?


    Vacuum Cleaner
    weirdest places someone got their penis stuck, penis in vacuum cleaner
    Did you hear the one about the midget and the vacuum cleaner? Well, then allow me to regale you with the tale of the time wee performer Daniel Blackner accidentally glued a vacuum cleaner hose to his own obviously-not-proportional hose. Apparently, Blackner's Edenborough Fringe Festival act involved putting his penis into a Henry vacuum cleaner, and then pulling it around the stage. When part of the vacuum broke, Blackner tried to superglue it back together, just before show time. When the lights came on, he put his dong in the hole and realized the glue was still wet, and a very crowded emergency room beckoned. While this was indeed unfortunate, it does at least prove the theory that adding a little person to any story makes it inherently funnier.


    Bus Stop
    weirdest places someone got their penis stuck, frozen penis ice sculpture
    You know what's worse than getting your tongue caught on a frozen metal pole, a la "A Christmas Story?" Accidentally adhering your own pole to a metal bus shelter. That's the kind of thing that can only happen in Stravropol, Russia, where a man (presumably named something-ov) got his пенис stuck to a metal bus stop while trying to take a discreet pee in 30-below weather. It takes a brave man to attempt such a bold pee, and a meek man to wait it out as the crowds gather before the paramedics can extricate you with some warm water. And then the motherland bans you from public transit.


    Tape Job
    weirdest places someone got their penis stuck, electrical tape
    Man, I just jumped on a huge grenade for you people. I definitely should not have clicked on that image. But The Daily Dot didn't mention what kind of tape roll this 4chan oversharer got his wang-dang-doodle stuck in, which he then decided to live blog about. Turns out it was electric tape -- he couldn't even man up to duct tape. Still, horrifying, especially after the guy decided to draw a happy face on his unhappy porksword for no apparent reason. But while that uncensored and extremely NSFW image was indeed tough to look at, it wasn't quite as bad as what I found after Google image searching "frozen dick" for the previous entry.


    Toaster
    weirdest places someone got their penis stuck, penis in toaster
    We all know that guy who, if drunk enough, will "f--k anything." Well, until he f--cks a toaster, you can't say that about him anymore. Details are few and far between on this one, but the incident appears on a list put out by the London Fire Brigade imploring people to start using common sense and stop f--king household appliances.


    Vagina
    weirdest places someone got their penis stuck, man dies sex with prostitute
    Another instance of a penis going to its biblical destination only to end up bound so by a higher vaginal power, this story doesn't have quite the happy ending you were probably looking for. The man in question kicked it in the middle of banging a whore. Which, I recon, isn't the worst way to go, though it certainly couldn't have been fun for the prostitute who had to then deal with some dead guy's Mr. Knish stuck up her nether lips. Fortunately, the incident somehow went viral, so hopefully the poor lady of the night parlayed such fame into a higher rate, or maybe even a movie deal.


    Welding Nut
    weirdest places someone got their penis stuck, welding nuts
    I totally understand the desire to add length, but there has to be a point where you stop trying to control nature and just accept the small cock God gave you. And when, in an effort to stretch yourself out, you start dangling heavy welding nuts from the end of your little love muscle, you have reached that point. Alas, it took this Malaysian man a terribly timed erection to figure that out.


    Park Bench
    weirdest places someone got their penis stuck, penis park bench
    Weird Asian News is becoming my key source for stuck penis stories. This one comes to us from Hong Kong, where a park goer was out celebrating the Beijing Olympics opening ceremonies, saw some attractive holes in a local bench, and attempted to bang one of them only to find out that once he became really excited about such a perfect hole, it quickly became imperfect. First responders drew blood on the scene, but his one-eyed dragon still wouldn't budge, so they had to cut the bench in order to transport him to the hospital. Four hours later, he was good to go, presumably free to seek out bigger holes elsewhere (perhaps the Olympic Rings).


    Swimming Pool
    weirdest places someone got their penis stuck, penis in swimming pool
    It's surprising, but this our first entry from Florida. Still, this type of honest mistake could happen just about anywhere there's a swimming pool, as those suction holes are just too damn alluring. But let this be a warning to you would be pool-f--kers out there: There is such a thing as too much suction.

    (h/t to the National Coalition For Men (NCFM) for their useful glossary of "174 Ways to Call a Penis Something Other Than a Penis".)

     

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  • 05/06/16--04:17: Today's Funny Photos
  • Happy seis de Mayo, everyone! This is the day for everyone out there who just loves to keep the fiesta going. I know that's pretty much all of us. It's Friday, too, so we can keep on partying through the weekend. F yeah! But before we do that, let's all enjoy these funnies.

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz
    Follow Mandatory on Twitter and Instagram.

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz
    Hey, did you see yesterday's Funny Photos?

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz
    More: 15 Cats Who Are Most Definitely Plotting To Hurt You

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz
    Related: More Funny Photos for your weekend

     

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    If there's one thing people can't seem to ever get enough of, it's celebrities. Furthermore, when an old photo of a celeb surfaces, we lose our minds (for some reason). Considering this page is loaded with casting Polaroids from years past, it's safe to assume that some of you will faint, so pace yourselves. I'll even provide an answer key below the photos so you can test your recognition skills when you're finished browsing.

    OK, here are the celebrities:

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    1. Uma Thurman

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    2. Benicio del Toro

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    3. Reese Witherspoon

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    4. Brad Pitt

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    5. Jennifer Connelly

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    6. Ewan McGregor

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    7. Adrien Brody

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    8. Jessica Alba

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    9. Patrick Dempsey

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    10. Natalie Portman

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    11. Viggo Mortensen

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    12. Scarlett Johansson

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    13. George Clooney

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    14. Gwyneth Paltrow

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    15. Gael García Bernal

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    16. Diane Lane

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    17. Mickey Rourke

    Vintage Casting Polaroids Of Famous Celebrities Will Blow Your Mind
    18. Nicole Kidman

    (via rickgrimeshappens)

    Related: Let's Take A Look At 20 Celebrities Then And Now

     

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    Dogs are always eager to please and make us happy; that's why dogs are the best. I mean, they even put up with our nonsense when we're desperately trying to make a post go viral. For example, take a look at what the dog below had to do for its owner:

    This Dog Reached For The Stars

    This Dog Reached For The Stars

    This Dog Reached For The Stars

    This Dog Reached For The Stars

    This Dog Reached For The Stars
    By the look on its face, this isn't the first time it's been forced to wear something stupid.

    Via Tumblr

    What a colorful personality: This Is What It Looks Like When A Dog Eats An Entire Box Of Crayons

     

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    Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.

    Follow @robfee on Twitter.


    Want more? Check out last week's hilarious tweets.

     

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    10 Things That Still Piss Me Off About Twister

    May 10 will mark the 20th anniversary of the release of "Twister," one of the most memorable movies of the '90s. The movie pretty much focuses on storm chasers trying to create an advanced weather alert system, all while trying to survive a bunch of crazy tornadoes. While it's a fun movie and one of my favorites, it still manages to piss me off to this day because I'm a bitter human who refuses to let go of the past.

    Here are 10 things that still piss me off about "Twister":

    1.Bill Paxton's Name In The Movie Is Bill
    10 Things That Still Piss Me Off About Twister
    OK, this shouldn't irk me, but I can't help it. It drives me mad when the actor happens to have the same name as his character. So now the entire movie all I hear is "Bill!" and "Bill!" and "Bill!" Like, couldn't he have just gone by William?

    2.Dr. Mellisa Reeves
    10 Things That Still Piss Me Off About Twister
    Jami Gertz is a solid actress, but her character in the film made me wish she would have been the tornadoes' first victim. I mean, did she realize she was dating a storm chaser? Why the hell did she spend the entire movie screaming? Poor Bill had to cut her off in order to focus on not being swept away by the tornadoes. But hey, it's not like the audience missed her.

    3. Bill Paxton's Line Delivery

    I promise I'm not picking on Bill, but man, he's no De Niro. That's for sure. While this movie is all about tornadoes and less about the acting, I wish Bill would have learned to deliver his lines better. I still cringe when I hear him say, "It's already here," or, "I think we're going in!" Eek.

    4. Jo Harding Was More Of A Threat Than The Twister
    10 Things That Still Piss Me Off About Twister
    Jo Harding, played by Helen Hunt, spends most of the movie putting herself (and Bill) in danger because she has a weird grudge with tornadoes ever since one killed her father. Bill spends half the movie chasing her around and putting himself in more danger. Not signing the divorce papers was just a ploy to get Bill back in the sack. Damn, Jo.

    5. Cow Flies Around, Yet The Car Stays On The Ground
    10 Things That Still Piss Me Off About Twister
    This of course is one of the most memorable scenes in the movie, as it includes Gertz's character informing her client that "We've got cows." But how the hell does Bill's car remain perfectly safe through all this? A huge animal just flew by your window, but that car stays intact.

    6. Apparently Tornadoes Growl

    I've never been close enough to a tornado to hear it do its thing, but I'm pretty sure they don't sound like a pissed off lion or something that resides deep inside a dark tunnel in a horror movie. I don't know what they were going for here, but hey, it scared the crap out of people.

    7. Leather Belts Are A Tornado's Weakness
    10 Things That Still Piss Me Off About Twister
    Sure, your huge house, your truck and your cow are no match for a tornado, but strap yourself to a pipe with some leather belts and you'll introduce that tornado to its weakness. I mean, it worked for Bill and Jo.

    8. Jo Sure Does Love Staring At Tornadoes
    10 Things That Still Piss Me Off About Twister
    Usually when someone sees a tornado they run and take cover. Not Jo Harding. She wants to stare at it like she's staring at the Disney World castle for the first time. Like, did you not see the destruction it just created a few minutes ago? How are you still alive, Jo?

    9. You're Going To Buy A Dodge And You're Going To Like It
    10 Things That Still Piss Me Off About Twister
    Plenty of companies throw their junk into movies so a worldwide audience can see it, but Dodge made sure to remind you that they have the best fucking truck in history. Not only can their truck not be blown away by the strongest tornadoes known to man, but it can withstand driving through a house, being on fire and being hit by a massive truck. The Dodge Ram will literally beat Mother Nature and any other type of destruction. Damn. I want a Dodge Ram now.

    10. This Line
    10 Things That Still Piss Me Off About Twister
    Bill is mad that Jonas (Cary Elwes) is interested in making some cash while putting his life on the line. I mean, that really pisses him off. I had no idea storm chasers were banking, but perhaps Bill should have chilled out.

    And yet, even after all this nonsense, I will still watch this movie every single time it airs.

     

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    The Internet bashed the hell out of Donald Trump yesterday when he posted an idiotic tweet about loving Hispanics all while looming over some shitty taco bowl. Even comedian Nathan Fielder fired back with a great burn. But if you look closer at that Trump picture, something in the back will shock you.

    Really get in close, and notice the picture that resides to the right. See it?


    Here's a closer view, if you need it.

    Shocking Discovery Made In The Background Of Donald Trump's 'Taco Bowl' Tweet





    Shocking Discovery Made In The Background Of Donald Trump's 'Taco Bowl' Tweet
    I mean, are you really surprised?​

    Check these out: 25 Of The Funniest Tweets About Donald Trump

     

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  • 05/06/16--07:50: Top 10 Mothers Ranked
  • Mother's Day is on Sunday, May 8, so if your mom is a good mom you should get her something nice. Speaking of good mothers, here are the top 10 "mothers" of all time.

    greatest mothers ever, best moms, best mothers, top 10 mothers
    Related: The 'Positive Yo Mama' Meme

     

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    There are tons of uncomfortable Tinder convos out there, and some even include terrible pick-up lines that actually work. But regardless of how a convo gets started on Tinder, one thing is for sure: It will always become sexual almost instantly.

    Take a look at the conversation below to see what I mean:

    Tinder Convo Gets Sexual
    Maybe that astronomy course he took in college will finally pay off.

    Via imgur

    No shame: These Tinder Profiles Prove That Some People Have Zero Boundaries

     

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    You know what mom wants the most for Mother's Day, right? It's not flowers and it's not some sort of cookware that she'll never use. More than anything, she wants you to read her a list of funny Mother's Day tweets! OK, maybe that's not at the top of her list, but it'll definitely make brunch a little more enjoyable, right? Here are 25 of the funniest jokes for mom from some very funny people on the Internet.


    Related: 'Election Day': Director Garry Marshall's Next Big Day Movie

     

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    We've heard there are a lot of great things to do in Jamaica these days, whether it's soaking up some rays on the beach, taking a few hits of the devil's lettuce or pounding down a few bottles of Red Stripe. Really, that all sounds spectacular.

    Going to a Jamaican dance hall and getting picked up by some dude who looks like he's on some combination of snout candy and bath salts and being spun through the air like a helicopter? Yeah, not so much:


    The good news for this young lady is that we didn't see any teeth go flying as if somebody dropped a container of Tic Tacs. The bad news is that her face is probably going to be an icebreaker until Labor Day.

    h/t Barstool Sports

    Does it get any better than dancing fails? Well, yes, but still: Woman Damn Near Breaks Her Face Attempting The 'Dirty Dancing' Move

     

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    "And here we are in the Netherlands. Notice the difference?"

    Nope.

    That's because according to the Daily Mail, 69-year-old Howard Newman borrowed his son's GoPro for a recent trip to the Netherlands and accidentally filmed himself the entire time instead of his surroundings.

    Newman thought he was filming things such as train stations, airports and his wife Joan, but when he returned to England and gave the camera back to his son Mark, they realized he was holding it the wrong way the whole time.

    Mark then did everybody a solid and edited the footage together to create damn near seven minutes of absolute hilarity:


    "I wish I could see what I am filming," Newman can be heard saying toward the end of the video.

    Well thankfully, there's an easy fix to that. All he has to do is look in a mirror.

    Lady, there's a bear behind you: Woman Filming Selfie Had No Idea Bear Was Chasing Her Until She Watched Video

     

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    Karinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    The saddest video of 2016 might also be the funniest, and whether it's real or fake has no bearing on its comedy factor.

    Some poor bastard who used to be dating a girl by the name of Karina decided that the best way to win her back was by interrupting the date she was on with her new boo at Chick-fil-A. His apparent plan was to beat the shit of the guy, leave the "restaurant" with Karina under his arm and live happily ever after.

    Unfortunately for him, none of it went to plan:



    Seriously, a dude crying and screaming face down on the floor of a Chick-fil-A might be the funniest thing you'll ever see. Well, unless you're that dude, of course.

    h/t Bossip

    ​Look how much fun going to school is these days: So A Middle School Student Decided To Fight His Teacher In Class (Warning: Violence And Foul Language)

     

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    Finally, a movie based around a comic book that's neither needlessly complicated or three hours long. Although, in this case, I suppose the longer the better. The plot of "Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles" is simple: a horny dude who works at the nuclear power plant masturbates into the sewer and creates four giant, hornier turtles. Makes sense. The only holes (in the plot, that is) are the turtles' names. I mean, would you really pick Michelangeblow or Dongatello for a baby before they grew up and you realized how hypersexual they were? Regardless, at least there was already a porn star named April O'Neil to fill the lead female roll, so all's forgiven. Check out the full trailer below, but beware of the incredibly NSFW language. Besides that, cumabunga, dudes!


    Related: A 'Back To The Future' Porn Parody Is Finally Here And It Looks Hysterical

     

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