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Mandatory

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    No man wants to be labelled an unsatisfactory lover, so I wanted to know: What is it that makes a dude a dud in the sack? Since I personally think "sex expert" is a bullsh*t title, as everybody enjoys different things sexually, I instead addressed a collective group of 15 sexually active women of all ages to inform me what characteristics they believe tell them a guy is going to be an utter sexual disappointment.

    Women Reveal Telltales Signs That Make You Terrible In Bed
    The one commonality most prevalent in my little survey was the word "jackhammer," used to describe lackluster penetrative habits in a piss-poor lover. See what two of the younger ladies in the survey had to say below:

    "I'd say the main thing are guys who suck at foreplay. Either they don't put enough time into it, they jackhammer my vagina with their fingers, or they are hesitant to go down on a girl or they don't do it for very long. Also, guys who don't pay attention to the clit are total amateurs." – Madelin, 26

    Women Reveal Telltales Signs That Make You Terrible In Bed
    "When a guy just goes to town on your vagina. He just pounds away aggressively like a jackhammer." – Tara, 26

    By using the word "jackhammer," these gals are clearly talking about a guy's tendency to go to pound-town, which is a trait guys have likely borrowed from porn. The problem with this being (aside from the fact that women hate it, evidently): porn is a form of entertainment; it's not an educational tool.

    Porn stars don't even have sex like this off-camera, trust me, I've looked into it. The takeaway being: while vaginas can indeed take a pounding, that doesn't mean they want to.

    Women Reveal Telltales Signs That Make You Terrible In Bed
    Here are some of the other responses I received. One of which comes from a 73-year-old woman whose wisdom is far beyond anybody else's, like a sexual Yoda. This is what she had to say:

    "First of all, if a man is a good kisser -- before we even make it to the bedroom -- is a good sign. A man whose intent is to please is very erotic. A man who is a 'leader' in bed is very erotic. By this I don't mean dominating, I mean he leads. On the other side of things, one sign a man is terrible in bed is one who keeps asking, "How was that?" or, "How did you like that?" – Lynn, 73

    And then there was this response, which kind of missed the point entirely:

    "The worse sign a guy is bad in bed is if he does not ask for consent! It shows me right away he's all about his needs and not mine or respects me enough to get permission." – Samantha, 27

    Women Reveal Telltales Signs That Make You Terrible In Bed
    To be fair, this last one doesn't only make the man an unsatisfactory lover; it makes him a rapist. So don't be that, either.

    Here's what a few others who weren't afraid to bare arms (and by this I mean talk explicitly about the subject) had to say.

    "He talks dirty in a weird way, he prefers to receive more than give, makes too much noise to the point where it's laughable, when he cums too quick, when he expects a return favor." – Megan, 24

    "My dead giveaway is if a man's a lousy driver, he's probably piss-poor in bed. A bad driver shows a lack of confidence. Conversely, if he's overly-aggressive, he's likely to be selfish and 'goal-oriented,' tending to his own orgasm. Also, if he's a terrible dancer. This kind of speaks for itself regarding the moves." – Monica, 41

    Women Reveal Telltales Signs That Make You Terrible In Bed
    "If a guy is overly polite and a total pushover, it's kind of representative of what kind of lover he's going to be. Sometimes a girl doesn't want to make love, sometimes she just wants to get f*cked." – Phoebe, 34

    So dudes, the ladies have spoken. Though I may not have included all of their commentary (those which were left out merely spoke of the same qualities already offered in the quotes provided), I can confidently say that there are definitely two qualities women agree on in an unsatisfactory lover, and those are: his propensity to jackhammer the vagina as if it were stubborn concrete, as well as a lack of confidence.

    Women Reveal Telltales Signs That Make You Terrible In Bed
    I guess you could say being a selfish lover is another unattractive quality, as it was also popular in the survey, so we'll toss that in there as well. Hopefully you've found this information useful. If not, I've spoken to 15 women ages 26-73 for no reason at all. About sex, no less.

     

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    No one wants to have their car scratched up, but the reality is that these things happen. From people trying to parallel park to runaway shopping carts, your car is bound to get hit, and Thomas Callow's car was on the end of one of those hits.

    The college student noticed that his bumper was hit and scratched up, but it was tough to get pissed off after reading the note that was left for him. Check out the note below thanks to Callow's Twitter:


    Here's a closer look:

    Hilarious Note Left By Car
    "Yo I hit your car. I'm leaving this note cause someone's watching...They're still looking...OK I'm good. My bad n***a. Peace out," the note reads.

    Sure, in today's fame-obsessed society we question if Callow wrote the letter himself, but hey, people are talking about it, so mission accomplished?

    h/t Someecards

    Watch your parking job: 16 Angry And Hilarious Bad Parking Notes Left On Cars

     

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    The '90s may have been great for a lot of things, but musically we certainly had to endure a lot of garbage. It's too bad we didn't know then what we know now, because we could've saved a lot of our Columbia House free CD credits from all those terrible albums we wasted them on. Here are some of the most recognizable albums from the '90s and what their titles would have been if they were honest.

    Dr. Dre - "2001"
    honest 90s album titles, if 90s album titles were honest, popular 90s albums

    Green Day - "Nimrod"
    honest 90s album titles, if 90s album titles were honest, popular 90s albums

    Destiny's Child - "The Writing's on the Wall"
    honest 90s album titles, if 90s album titles were honest, popular 90s albums

    Lauryn Hill - "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill"
    honest 90s album titles, if 90s album titles were honest, popular 90s albums

    Dave Matthews Band - "Crash"
    honest 90s album titles, if 90s album titles were honest, popular 90s albums

    Oasis - "(What's the Story) Morning Glory?"
    honest 90s album titles, if 90s album titles were honest, popular 90s albums

    Ricky Martin - "Ricky Martin"
    honest 90s album titles, if 90s album titles were honest, popular 90s albums

    Limp Bizkit - "Significant Other"
    honest 90s album titles, if 90s album titles were honest, popular 90s albums

    Will Smith - "Big Willie Style"
    honest 90s album titles, if 90s album titles were honest, popular 90s albums

    U2 - "Pop"
    honest 90s album titles, if 90s album titles were honest, popular 90s albums

    Hanson - "Middle of Nowhere"
    honest 90s album titles, if 90s album titles were honest, popular 90s albums
    Related: The Literal '90s Band Names Quiz

     

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    surf ninjas where are they now, surf ninjas cast then and now, surf ninjas moto-surf gif

    Can someone please answer this question for me: Why the hell is "Surf Ninjas" only rated 12 percent fresh on Rotten Tomatoes? This has to be some sort of crime, because as every millennial knows, "Surf Ninjas" made up half our childhood. Here's a look at what these '90s karate surfers are up to now.

    Johnny (Ernie Reyes Jr.)
    surf ninjas where are they now, surf ninjas cast then and now, johnny ernie reyes jr surf ninjas
    Before the Prince of Patusan starred as Johnny in "Surf Ninjas," Ernie Reyes Jr. worked alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 1985 film "The Last Dragon." He has since tallied 31 credits to his name, including "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" as recently as 2008. Unfortunately, bad news struck in June 2015 when Reyes' sister Destiny Reyes informed the world that everyone's favorite Moto surfer was hospitalized with kidney failure: "My brother, Ernie Reyes Jr., was recently in the ICU fighting for his life suffering from kidney failure. Ernie is now home and currently undergoing dialysis treatment 3 times per week for 4 hours a day while waiting for a kidney transplant." But like "Surf Ninjas," there's a happy ending -- they've raised nearly $70,000 on GoFundMe.

    Memorable quote: "Kwantsu, dudes!"


    Adam (Nic Cowen)
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    Fans of the movie might remember Johnny's little brother and sidekick, Adam. As the other heir to the Patusan throne, he used his Sega clairvoyance to predict ninja attacks, helping the gang survive as they carried out their noble quest to defeat the evil Colonel Chi and his henchmen. Now 36 years old, Nic Cowan is a talented artist working in Los Angeles as a designer and illustrator. He hasn't acted since his role as 11-year-old Adam, which is tragic because we all remember him hilariously trying to find Spain on a map in class. Check out a recent tribute to the Adam character that Nic himself created. This one, as well:

    Memorable quote: "You know what they say -- Chick's got a veil, dude better bail"


    Iggy (Rob Schneider)
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    In 1993, Schneider played Iggy, the wannabe white prince of Patusan who follows his buddies from their humble abode in Los Angeles to adventure. Directly after playing Iggy, he hit the big time as a cast member on "Saturday Night Live." Today, Schneider has all sorts of things going on. He remains buddies with the Happy Madison crew, including Adam Sandler, and has his own TV show on Netflix called "Real Rob" about life as a comedian in Hollywood. Schneider is also busy touring the U.S. as a stand-up comic. Furthermore, you may have heard of his daughter Elle King and her hit songs "Ex's & Oh's" and "America's Sweetheart."

    Memorable quote: "I just gotta wax the old man-to-wave, friction-reducing vehicle."


    Zatch (Ernie Reyes Sr.)
    surf ninjas where are they now, surf ninjas cast then and now, zatch ernie reyes sr surf ninjas
    Zatch and his memorable eye patch protect Johnny and Adam from evil ninjas throughout the film. He is the father of the actor who played Johnny in real life. Although he hasn't been in many films since 1994, the 69-year-old owns Ernie Reyes' West Coast Martial Arts Association, a wildly successful school based out of Campbell, CA. They have 36 branches scattered across the U.S.

    Memorable quote: "Is there no way we can shut this chattering monkey up?" (referring to Iggy)


    Lieutenant Spence (Tone Loc)
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    One year after playing Lieutenant Spence, Tone Loc, born Anthony Smith, played Juice in "Blank Check" and Emilio in "Pet Detective." Before that, he was a superstar rap act, coming out with the second hip-hop hit ever to reach No. 1 on the Billboard charts, "Wild Thing." The gravelly voiced Tone Loc is still acting and touring, although he has been subject to unfortunate health issues. He collapsed on stage in both San Francisco and Iowa as recently as 2015. Let's give this '90s legend some love on Twitter.

    Memorable quote: "I swallow [a key] every Tuesday."


    Ro-May (Kelly Hu)
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    Former Miss Hawaii Kelly Hu played the Patusani princess that steals Johnny's heart. One of the most prolific actors on this list, Hu has more than 100 credits to her name, notably TV series including "Phineas and Ferb" and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." In 2002, she starred in "The Scorpion King" alongside Dwayne Johnson. Besides acting, Hu is an avid poker player and dedicated activist. She has participated in the World Series of Poker and World Poker Tour. She also has a soft spot for Hawaii's ecology, even running the Hawaii Marathon in 2004 to raise money for Reef Check Hawaii.

    Memorable quote: "I mean, that was a really swell kiss and all, but I just didn't wanna hurt your feelings about the marriage thing...but we can still date, right?"


    Baba Ram (Keone Young)
    surf ninjas where are they now, surf ninjas cast then and now, baba ram keone young surf ninjas
    As the credits roll, we see Keone Young sing the Beach Boys' "Barbara Ann." Young is still acting at 68, and he has an endless body of work with an astounding 219 roles on his resume. You've probably seen him on "True Blood" or "Sons of Anarchy." He's also done voice work in "Kung Fu Panda." For laughs, let's reminisce on his brief role as a Chinese tailor fed up with the antics of Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott in "Dude, Where's My Car?"

    Memorable quote: "Went to a dance, looking for romance. Saw Baba Ram, so I thought I'd take a chance."


    Colonel Chi (Leslie Nielsen)
    surf ninjas where are they now, surf ninjas cast then and now, colonel chi surf ninjas gif
    Leslie Nielsen died in 2010 after a heavyweight comedic career in TV and film. What makes Nielsen so special is the fact that he didn't let his fame make him "too big" for roles. He starred as the arch nemesis in "Surf Ninjas" -- a B movie, to be real -- even after "The Naked Gun" series and "Airplane!" The two-faced electric villain dictator of Patusan, Colonel Chi is just one of his more than 220 roles in 100 films and 1,500 TV episodes.

    Memorable quote: "I'm wet! I'm OK!"

     

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    This past weekend, Bartolo Colon somehow took Padres pitcher James Shields deep, in what looked like something straight out of a baseball movie script. So of course someone did the next best thing possible and added Colon into one of the best baseball movies ever: "The Natural."

    Thanks to Mark Evans, Colon is now "The Natural." Check out the great video below. And check out the original scene here.


    That's not in slow motion. That was Colon running at real speed.

    h/t USA Today

    Check out Colon without a shirt on. You know you want to: Major League Baseball's Biggest Stars Without Theirs Shirts On

     

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    0 0

    It takes a lot of talent and determination to create a great band. The same can be said for creating a great state map of all the greatest bands. Just kidding, but it was no easy task considering the amount of awesome bands there are that hail from America. Granted, some states have a lot more famous and notable bands to choose from (California, New York, Michigan), while others made it difficult to even determine if bands exist in those states (the Dakotas), but labeling just one band the "best" was daunting. However, after much consideration, I think we nailed it.

    Now, before you look at the map below and get all up in arms about the egregious errors we made, here is our disclaimer: Our definition of "band" is a musical group of two or more people. Thus, solo singer/songwriters or musicians who are famous on their own were omitted. Sorry, Elvis and almost all famous rappers. Everything else is up for debate. However, if there was one major takeaway from this project that can't be debated, it's that the majority of the best bands of all time are from overseas.

    greatest band from each state, best band from every state, best american bands

    Related: The Most Hated Reality TV Star From Each State

     

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    OK, so maybe this article is just an excuse to creep on some fitness model's Instagram, but hey, no crime there (I checked). Sommer Ray is a 19-year-old fitness model with a butt that is hard to miss, and a body that she works hard to keep. Sure, she works out in one week more than you'll ever work out, but hey, at least she posts pictures of it so we can look at them while stuffing our faces with chips and thinking about maybe doing a push-up.

    "But you fit me better than my favorite sweater" Photographer: @baadbiddy

    A photo posted by S♛mmer Ray (@sommerrayy) on


    Check out some more of Sommer courtesy of her Instagram. Although, it seems like she has two accounts (maybe?), so here's the other one.


    🌤 @ryanastamendiphotography Hair • @fpinasco Makeup • @leahdarcymakeup

    A photo posted by S♛mmer Ray (@sommerrayy) on



    #throwback💭 @mikelarremore

    A photo posted by S♛mmer Ray (@sommerrayy) on


    ☄ @mikelarremore • #fitness #workforit

    A photo posted by S♛mmer Ray (@sommerrayy) on


    New series w/ @mikelarremore •

    A photo posted by S♛mmer Ray (@sommerrayy) on


    #bodybymyokore

    A photo posted by S♛mmer Ray (@sommerrayy) on


    👶🏽

    A photo posted by S♛mmer Ray (@sommerrayy) on


    @ruckusapparel swim line dropping this week 😍 | @rebeccaslaughter

    A photo posted by S♛mmer Ray (@sommerrayy) on


    @mikelarremore ➕ @pescience

    A photo posted by S♛mmer Ray (@sommerrayy) on



    Now check these out: Follow The 12 Hottest Fitness Girls On Instagram

     

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    Given the way this guy takes orders, you have to think his wife is loving life.

    According to The Local, three German men probably wished they had carpooled with somebody else after the guy behind the wheel of their car took the advice of his GPS and drove the vehicle into the largest river in northern Germany at a ferry terminal in the town of Bleckede.

    man listens to gps and drives car into river
    Authorities said it's "pretty obvious where the terminal ends and the water begins," and there are even signs warning drivers to stop because the Elbe River lies ahead. Nonetheless, this driver kept his foot on the gas and drove straight into the water because his GPS unit "neglected to tell him that the ferry was still on the other side of the river."

    But let's be honest: It shouldn't have to.

    All four men were able to open their doors and swim to safety, but they were all checked for hypothermia at a local hospital due to the chilly currents of the Elbe this time of year. No word if the driver was also checked for a brain.

    Oops: Weird News: Michigan Driver Loses Control Of Car And It Ends Up On A Roof

     

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    Anna Faith may be known best in the cosplay world for her depiction of Elsa from the ever popular "Frozen" franchise, but there's more to her than just dressing up like a bunch of movie, television and comic book characters. OK, that's still a lot of what she's about, but with all the disguises and commotion around her all the time, you may not have realized how stunningly attractive she is even without her fancy outfits. Seriously, she's so gorgeous, it kind of blows your mind that someone this beautiful even exists and wasn't created in a lab somewhere. Anyways, here are a few shots from her Instagram account both in and out of character. It's quite enjoyable.

    Jedi Elsa. Follow @sisterlycosplay for more pics from the con! Xoxo

    A photo posted by Anna Faith (@annafaithxoxo) on



    A photo posted by Anna Faith (@annafaithxoxo) on



    A photo posted by Anna Faith (@annafaithxoxo) on



    A photo posted by Anna Faith (@annafaithxoxo) on



    A photo posted by Anna Faith (@annafaithxoxo) on



    A photo posted by Anna Faith (@annafaithxoxo) on



    A photo posted by Anna Faith (@annafaithxoxo) on



    A photo posted by Anna Faith (@annafaithxoxo) on




    The lighting on this is freaky ahaha

    A photo posted by Anna Faith (@annafaithxoxo) on



    Don't forget to follow Anna on Twitter, as well. You just might like it.

    Related: 10 Surprising Facts About The World's Hottest Cosplayers

     

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    If you're feeling a tad inadequate after seeing pictures of this frog, join the club.

    Keith Leech uploaded a few pictures of a "blessed" frog to his Facebook page last week, and the Internet has been losing its damn mind ever since.

    But what looks like the biggest penis in the history of frogs - especially considering the fact that frogs don't have dicks - has turned out to be just an "extra partially-formed" leg.



    Gerry Marantelli from the Australian Amphibian Research Centre confirmed that frogs indeed still don't have boomsticks, but added that penises did evolve from legs during embryonic development, so "an extra leg is part way there."

    Well, I'd say that in this case, it's a little more than just part way there.

    h/t Barstool Sports

    This guy has the balls to call his huge pecker a handicap: Mexican Man With 19-Inch Penis Says He's Handicapped Because Of It

     

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    There were many attractive women who made HBO's "Entourage" watchable for so many years, but you'd be hard-pressed to find any of them who lit up the small screen quite like Emmanuelle Chriqui, who fans of the show probably know better as E's girlfriend/fiancée Sloan.

    Well, now she's lighting up the Twitter world thanks to a topless photo that was taken by Los Angeles-based photographer Randall Slavin. And you might have already guessed that it's pretty much the greatest picture we've ever seen:

    emmanuelle chriqui topless, emmanuelle chriqui boobs, sloan entourage boobs

    For an uncensored NSFW look at Chriqui topless, go here. And now I think I'll call it a day.

    h/t WWTDD (link NSFW) and Twitter (link NSFW)

    The only thing better than one topless woman is two of them: Sara Jean Underwood And Tina Louise Are Topless Friends Who Like To Share

     

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  • 05/11/16--13:59: Emmanuelle Chriqui Topless
  •  

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    If there is one thing you can expect when you use Tinder, it's that people have no problem telling you exactly what they want. That's why we appreciate these honest girls on Tinder. And sure, some people have zero boundaries, but at least we know what to expect.

    For example, check out what 20-year-old Alexa informs us about herself on her Tinder profile:

    At Least You Know What You're Getting If You Swipe Right On This Tinder Girl
    She likes baseball games and hailing Satan? Man, someone put a ring on this one.

    You can also expect sex: Proof That Every Tinder Convo Always Ends Up Being Sexual

     

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    Dogs certainly are a determined bunch. That's no more evident than in the following video, which might seem like it goes on for far too long. But what can we say? This pooch has a seemingly unlimited supply of energy. And that branch isn't going to come down by itself.


    My advice: slap a Hula-Hoop around the dog's waist next time and take this thing to the next level.

    Related: Cute, Yet Epic, Mid-Air Dog Collision In Slow Motion

     

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  • 05/12/16--04:33: Today's Funny Photos
  • You are here for funny photos. So why am I even writing this right now? It doesn't make sense, does it? I'll answer my own question: no. So without further ado, here are the funniest photos you will ever see. (Until tomorrow, of course.)

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    Follow Mandatory on Twitter.

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    Follow Mandatory on Instagram.

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    Click here for more funny photos.

     

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  • 05/12/16--05:30: Damn Birds Being Jerks
  • We already know that cats are a-holes and that other animals are fully capable of being a-holes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't single out the biggest jerks of all: birds. They're hostile; they're intimidating, and they're unapologetic. If you see a bird coming your way -- run.

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    More: You Know, Kids Can Really Be A-Holes Sometimes

     

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    Yesterday we asked you to use our meme generator to create some hilarious captions to unleash on the Internet. There were a lot of entries, but we managed to narrow them down to these fine and deserving winners. Congratulations, you truly understand what the Internet is all about. And to those of you who lost...oh well, there's always next time.

    meme contest winners, weekly meme contest, row row row your bloke
    Submitted by: chad


    meme contest winners, weekly meme contest, row row row your bloke
    Submitted by: Wetzel Davis


    meme contest winners, weekly meme contest, row row row your bloke
    Submitted by: Mickey C.


    meme contest winners, weekly meme contest, row row row your bloke
    Submitted by: emily


    meme contest winners, weekly meme contest, row row row your bloke
    Submitted by: Chris


    meme contest winners, weekly meme contest, row row row your bloke
    Submitted by: Ryne


    meme contest winners, weekly meme contest, row row row your bloke
    Submitted by: R Rose


    meme contest winners, weekly meme contest, row row row your bloke
    Submitted by: d-r


    meme contest winners, weekly meme contest, row row row your bloke
    Submitted by: Scott


    meme contest winners, weekly meme contest, row row row your bloke
    Submitted by: Bobbie H

    Previously on Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Bending Over Backwards

     

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    It's not hard to understand why pizza is universally loved; it's always there for you through ups and downs, sober times and drunk times and even when you're on the brink of death like in this story.

    Kirk Alexander, a 47-year-old man from Oregon, is a very loyal Domino's customer. So much so that staff at a Salem Domino's Pizza became worried after he hadn't ordered anything from them in 11 days. So what did they do to make sure Kirk wasn't cheating on them behind their backs with Pizza Hut? Send an employee to check up on him.

    Domino's Pizza Saved A Guy's Life After He Failed To Order For 11 Days
    Employee Tracy Hamblen knocked on Kirk's door and got no response, so she proceeded to call 911. Kirk was eventually found on the floor of his home, and paramedics believed he had suffered a stroke.

    "He orders every day, every other day," general manager Sarah Fuller states. "His order pops up on the screen because he orders online. So we see it come across the screen and we're like, 'Oh, Kirk's order.' He orders all the time, so we know him. I think we were just doing our job checking in on someone we know who orders a lot. We felt like we needed to do something."

    So there you have it; if you don't order from Domino's they are going to come knocking on your door and force their pizza down your throat. But hey, good thing they did because now Kirk's doing all right.

    Now get back to clogging those arteries, Kirk!

    Domino's Pizza Saved A Guy's Life After He Failed To Order For 11 Days
    h/t The Lad Bible

    He really loves his pizza: Dude Claims He Burned His Penis Making Love To Domino's Pizza

     

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    In this election year, we're getting a little worried about the person who might be in control of the United States for the next four years. However, is the president really in charge? Popular conspiracy theorists think that he or she is just a puppet, doing the bidding of a secret group behind the scenes. Most people consider that idea nonsense, but guess what? Some of these secret societies might actually have something to them. In this article, we'll shine the light of truth on 10 mysterious organizations that could really be pulling the strings behind the curtain.

    Bohemian Club
    10 Real Secret Societies That Might Rule The World
    Every year, some of the most powerful men in the world congregate in Monte Rio, California, for the meeting at Bohemian Grove. Dick Cheney, Henry Kissinger and Theodore Roosevelt are just a few of the known Bohemians, but the secret list is much longer. The ostensible purpose of the club is to let members blow off steam while hidden from the outside world with smoking, drinking and shenanigans. Many observers believe that high-level backroom deals happen behind closed doors. That theory is bolstered by the fact that in 1942 a meeting at the Grove laid the foundations for the Manhattan Project that led to the development of the atomic bomb.

    Freemasons
    10 Real Secret Societies That Might Rule The World
    One of the oldest secret societies in the world, the first Masonic Lodge was opened in London in 1717. You can find lodges in just about every major city, and it's fair to say that world-changing decisions probably aren't happening in most of them. However, rumors of the group's secret rituals and mysterious connections have dogged them for centuries. There's no denying that many of history's most important men have been Masons -- George Washington, Winston Churchill and Harry Houdini, just to name a few. Theorists allege that their influence in placing Masonic symbols like the eye on the pyramid is part of a long-term plan to control the world.

    Committee of 300
    10 Real Secret Societies That Might Rule The World
    Allegedly founded by British royals in 1827, the Committee of 300 is a lesser-known secret society that some believe is still pulling the strings today. Consisting of high-ranking captains of industry, the 300 were first outed by German foreign minister Walther Rathenau in a 1909 article. When Rathenau was assassinated some years later, one of the killers confessed that he did the deed because he believed Rathenau was one of the 300. Current membership is believed to include the royal families of Europe, the heads of some of America's biggest companies...and obscure British politician Ed Balls. Their activities allegedly prop up the international financial system and work toward a "one world government" where drugs and pornography are legal.

    Trilateral Commission
    10 Real Secret Societies That Might Rule The World
    Founded by sultan of industry David Rockefeller in 1973, the Trilateral Commission is a frequent target of conspiracy theories. The group was ostensibly founded to improve relations between the United States, Japan and Europe, but their methods aren't known to the public. With a roster of names that includes former Federal Reserve chief Alan Greenspan, there's obviously a lot of power going into these meetings. The commission is often implicated in accusations of plotting a "one world government" where national and racial boundaries are eliminated, and one theory is the group was responsible for elevating Jimmy Carter to the presidency.

    Illuminati
    10 Real Secret Societies That Might Rule The World
    Conspiracy theorists have been speculating about the Illuminati for centuries. The original "Bavarian Illuminati" was a group founded by Adam Weishaupt in 1776 to promote reason and science over superstition, but their secretive ways made them a potent blueprint for future organizations. The modern usage of "illuminati" refers to a cabal of powerful people in business and media who allegedly orchestrate both Satanic rituals and major world events. Current alleged members include rapper Jay-Z, former president George W. Bush and Bill Gates. Many rappers have started including traditional Illuminati symbolism in album covers and videos, just fanning the flames of suspicion.

    The 1001 Club
    10 Real Secret Societies That Might Rule The World
    On the surface, the 1001 Club looks as innocent as can be -- it's a financial trust set up by Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands to fund operations of the World Wildlife Fund. You know, the beloved nonprofit that saves panda bears from extinction. But some believe that the secretive organization -- its member list has never been released to the public -- might be up to something a little more suspicious. Some alleged members include African dictator Mobutu Sese Seko, Osama Bin Laden's older brother Salem and movie mogul Lew Wasserman. Members meet in varying locations around the globe once a year, and what they discuss is top secret. It's not hard to speculate that they could be doing all kinds of deals behind closed doors.

    Council on Foreign Relations
    10 Real Secret Societies That Might Rule The World
    The Council on Foreign Relations is a fascinating group. On one hand, their positions are very public -- they release reports and press releases about world events. On the other, there's tons of speculation that a hyper-secret inner circle is plotting massive economic and political shifts on the world stage to destabilize governments and reduce individual liberties. The CFR was founded in post-World War II Europe to attempt to normalize relations between formerly hostile nations. It was financed by some of the world's richest bankers, including J.P. Morgan and John D. Rockefeller. Publicly known members include former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright and Coke chairman Muhtar Kent. Whether the council is truly working nefariously behind the scenes to shape the world is still unknown.

    Skull and Bones
    10 Real Secret Societies That Might Rule The World
    College is an exceptional recruiting area for secret societies, and it should come as no surprise that the Ivy Leagues have several. One of the most notorious is Skull and Bones, founded in 1832 at Yale University. The society meets on Mondays and Thursdays in the "Tomb," a massive stone building that contains a number of artifacts including a set of silverware that belonged to Adolf Hitler. Conspiracy theorists hold that the group is a grooming society for future world leaders, and the fact that former President George W. Bush, Secretary of State John Kerry and many other luminaries from politics and industry are among its members is a pretty strong argument.

    Cicada 3301
    10 Real Secret Societies That Might Rule The World
    The development of the Internet has changed the way secret societies operate -- now that it's so easy to share information, they have to lock things down even harder. It has also helped them recruit, though, as Cicada 3301 illustrates. Starting in 2012, the mysterious organization has posted a series of insanely difficult cryptography and logic puzzles on the Internet with the advertised intent of finding "highly intelligent individuals." What exactly they're assembling this brain trust for is anybody's guess, and solvers aren't talking. These puzzles have included physical clues placed all over the world, so the Cicada group obviously has a lot of resources at their disposal.

    Bilderberg Group
    10 Real Secret Societies That Might Rule The World
    Every year, the Bilderberg Group brings together 120-150 of the most powerful men and women in the world to a private conference in which they allegedly plot the future of human events. Attendees are pulled from both government and industry, nominated by a secretive inner council. Unlike some of the other groups on this list, the Bilderbergers are fairly transparent in their goals: to spread Western capitalism around the globe. They have attracted harsh critics on both the left and the right. However, since their decisions and strategies are never exposed to the public, we have no idea what they're actually doing. They could be fixing prices, ordering assassinations or anything in between.

     

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    The latest batch of funny GIFs are all about keeping a good balance. Whether it's in your love life, daily schedule, or simply a matter of staying on your feet, stability is key to all walks of life. You're confused, right? GIFs of the week never have a theme. Don't worry, I'll hold your hand through the whole thing.

    funny gifs, gifs of the week, boob push-ups lady
    This woman has definitely struck the perfect balance. Only she's supposed to be doing push-ups!


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, girl pats pooping dog
    That's a hard pose to maintain. Don't break his concentration.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, no sitting on escalator sign
    He seems like a pretty balanced individual, until--


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, woman spin punch into water
    This one's pretty self-explanatory.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, man kisses beer kiss cam
    Every guy needs his man time. Don't be jelly.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, dog tackles boy
    "Air Bud: Golden Receiver" is criminally underrated.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, pole to crotch
    This pole just won't stay put...making that the worst place to sunbathe.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, camel kicks kid
    It's important to treat your employees well. Otherwise...


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, monkey kicks man
    Equilibrium check! Fail! Just kidding, that was actually a pretty hard kick.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, dog falls off bed
    Cuteness and proper footing are a dangerous mix.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, cat startled into pool
    Cats only land on their feet when it's possible.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, woman outruns train
    Don't trip (please God, don't trip), but this is my stop. See ya next week!

    All aboard last week's hilarious GIFs!

     

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