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Articles on this Page
- 05/19/16--07:04: _Australian Makeup A...
- 05/19/16--07:28: _This Dating Classif...
- 05/19/16--07:50: _The Funniest GIFs O...
- 05/19/16--08:00: _Cold As All Hell Gi...
- 05/19/16--08:17: _Emily Ratajkowski D...
- 05/19/16--08:45: _Woman At Canadian G...
- 05/19/16--09:50: _21 Awkward Celebrit...
- 05/19/16--11:55: _Florida Cop Obliter...
- 05/19/16--12:31: _New Study Says You ...
- 05/19/16--12:44: _Adam Sandler Found ...
- 05/19/16--12:45: _Bella Hadid Wore Th...
- 05/19/16--12:55: _Louisiana Lawmaker ...
- 05/19/16--13:53: _Actor Tom Lenk Has ...
- 05/20/16--03:23: _Tinder Profile Answ...
- 05/20/16--04:18: _Today's Funny Photos
- 05/20/16--04:20: _These Hottest Hot S...
- 05/20/16--04:51: _Dogs Really Are Man...
- 05/20/16--05:50: _This Week's 20 Funn...
- 05/20/16--06:17: _Scott Disick Doesn'...
- 05/20/16--06:31: _This Guy Refused To...
- 05/19/16--07:28: This Dating Classified Ad Is A Lot More Filthy Than It Appears
- 05/19/16--07:50: The Funniest GIFs Of The Week
- 05/19/16--08:00: Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment
- 05/19/16--08:17: Emily Ratajkowski Dancing In A Bra Will Make Your Day Better
- 05/19/16--08:45: Woman At Canadian Gym Told To Change Because Of Her 'Large Boobs'
- 05/19/16--09:50: 21 Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos
- 05/19/16--12:45: Bella Hadid Wore The Hottest Dress Ever At 69th Cannes Film Festival
- 05/20/16--04:18: Today's Funny Photos
- 05/20/16--04:20: These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
- 05/20/16--04:51: Dogs Really Are Man's Best Friend, But Especially This One
- 05/20/16--05:50: This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets
If you have a weak stomach you may want to turn back now, but since we're all morbid and curious you won't turn back. So enjoy.
Marc Clancy, a self-taught makeup artist from Melbourne, enjoys freaking people out by creating extremely realistic injuries using his makeup talents, and sharing them on his Instagram for all to see. Check out some more of his best work below:
Cutting room floor V12. If you've followed me for a while you'll know I occasionally post make-ups that aren't so successful. Here's a failed Toxic Avenger style (acid burn) eye using pigmented gel10 #specialfx #specialeffects #specialeffectsmakeup #sfx #sfxmakeup #fxmakeup #fx #makeup #makeupartist #mua
These are actually real: 14 Of The Grossest Sports Injuries Of All Time
A lot of people are looking for love, and there are quite a few different routes to take. You have the ol' "meet people in person" that your parents enjoyed doing, then there's the Tinder route that you enjoy doing, and then there is the classic "take out an ad in classifieds so you can find your true love" route.
And the classified ad below is one you'll have to read twice to really understand what this gentleman is looking for.
Girls do like a guy with a sense of humor.
Maybe a little too honest: This Is By Far The Most Disturbing Dating Service Ad Ever
Must. Play. More. Beach. Sports.
A little eye candy for the ladies, as well.
I know cats are posable, but damn. I guess they really can sleep anywhere.
This awkward stance always ends well.
Even though our top scientists are working on it, human flight is still years out.
"When pigs fly" appears to be making some strides, though.
That's a stumper for sure, but he made out OK.
I've never met a Japanese game show I didn't like.
The same goes for "wasted" GIFs.
I guess someone forgot how much cats hate birds.
His tailbone is gonna be so jacked.
I'm totally swiping that idea next Halloween.
We should do this again sometime. You free next week? Don't worry, I'll leave last week's hilarious GIFs behind just in case. Co-stanza...
There are people out there that enjoy pushing their limits by participating in Tough Mudder. I am not one of them. But the woman below was one of them, and she was captured at the exact moment when she probably realized she made a terrible decision to run one of these courses.
Take a look at the photo below:
And not only was she captured at her coldest moment, but the Internet ran with it, and created these gems. Take a look at the best below thanks to Reddit:
More hot girls getting photoshopped: Photoshop Battle Claims Two More Sexy Victims In Latest Throwdown
Model Emily Ratajkowskiis everywhere these days, and we don't have a problem with that. Whether she's going nude on Instagram or sharing her political stance, Emily enjoys allowing people to know more about her. And this time around she showed us that she's a pretty damn good dancer.
Take a look at Emily get down in a white bra thanks to a video she posted on her Instagram:
And here's a better look at her outfit that night:
Again, we have no problem with this: Emily Ratajkowski Poses Fully Nude On Instagram
And this is why people should stay away from the gym altogether.
Jenna Vecchio wore a tank top and yoga pants when she paid a visit to the Movati Athletic Club in Ontario. And everything was going well until Vecchio says she was told to change by staff because she was not appropriately dressed. Let's first take a look at her attire thanks to her Facebook.
I am appalled by her attire!
Are you kidding? Totally inappropriate!
What is this?! A porno?!
"I was instructed by a Supervisor at the club that my tank top was inappropriate dress and is offensive to both the staff and other members," Vecchio wrote on her Facebook. "At Movati, they have a dress code stating only appropriate gym attire and modest clothing is to be worn."
"I will start by saying my tank top was no different than many other women's tank top at the club; except my chest size is much larger in appearance in comparison to my frame than many of the other women," Vecchio added.
I would like to know what the idiots at Movati want women with big boobs to wear.
One idiot, area director Sean Whittal, responded with this: "As such, on Saturday when some members of our gym voiced complaints regarding Ms. Vecchio's attire as it made them feel uncomfortable and was seen as being contrary to our dress code policy our staff assessed the situation and spoke to Ms. Vecchio."
"While in no way did we intend to embarrass her, we did feel we had to address the issue," Whittal added.
Movati is apparently still looking into the matter.
Translation: "We are tools that can wear our T-shirts three sizes too small, but this woman's tank top is an issue."
Via The LAD Bible
Yeah, let's stay away: 21 Hilarious Tweets On Why You Should Probably Skip Working Out Today
Check out these awkward celebrity photos below.
Danielle Fishel and Lance Bass
The hell? 16 Strange Prom Photos
Running a red light at 90 miles per hour. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
According to Jalopnik, Officer Chris Bonner of the Ocoee Police Department was hauling ass down Orange Blossom Trail in pursuit of two armed robbery suspects last Thursday, but that pursuit came to a horrific end when his Dodge Charger police car slammed into Yahaira Montalvo's Toyota Corolla at 90 miles per hour.
Thankfully, both Montalvo and Bonner survived the wreck, although the same can't be said for the squad car:
Troopers with the Florida Highway Patrol determined Bonner was at fault (duh, you think?) and cited him with a $164 moving violation that will also cost him four points on his license. But odds are Bonner's failure to stop at the red light is going to cost the department much more than that, as Montalvo has hired legal counsel and is already way ahead in the sympathy game.
That legal team sure looks like they know what they're doing, and you have to think Montalvo's days of driving a Corolla are over. The other big winners from last Thursday's crash? You guessed it: the robbery suspects who wound up getting away.
Somehow, every person involved in these wrecks still has a pulse: The Craziest Accidents Where Nobody Died
Well, they must not have surveyed Ron Jeremy.
According to The Sun, a new study conducted by Reebok for some reason says the average person will spend just 0.45 percent of his or her life having sex.
That's only 117 days of your life, fellas.
More than 9,000 people from the United Kingdom, United States, Germany, France, Spain, Mexico, Canada, Russia and South Korea were recently surveyed, and based on the end result, it looks as though we all need to get our priorities in order.
In comparison, the average person will spend nearly 30 percent of his or her life -- or 7,709 days -- sitting down, while 1,769 days will be spent socializing with friends and family. Men and women will also spend just 0.69 percent of their lives exercising while 41 percent of most people's lives will be spent engaging with technology.
Forty-one percent of your life engaging with technology? Damn, that's almost as depressing as spending just 117 days of your life having sex. Although, you have to think that number would at least quadruple if you're allowed to count "yourself" as a sexual partner.
The road less traveled can also lead to pregnancy:You Apparently Can Get A Woman Pregnant Through Anal Sex After All
Hey, whatever it takes to influence people to go see something starring Adam Sandler these days, right?
Sandler has a new movie coming out soon on Netflix called "The Do-Over," which also features David Spade in one of the lead roles. So hey, it needs all the help it can get. That's where a guy named Max Kessler walks in.
The 23-year-old Kessler not only shares the same name as Sandler's character in the movie, but he looks just like Adam Sandler himself. Take a look at the photo that Kessler posted:
Kessler does look like a younger Sandler; like when Sandler could still squeeze a few non-pity laughs out of his audience. Well, Sandler came across this, and posted this picture in response:
Kessler of course had to respond to Sandler's antics:
And all of that resulted in Kessler being flown to meet Sandler and see the premiere of "The Do-Over." This is supposed to be a reward. I think.
And hey, Kessler made it. Here he is being welcomed by a homeless man.
We think this is a happy ending. Check out the video below for more on Kessler and his "lucky" face:
h/t Funny Or Die
Lookalikes are everywhere: 13 Celebrity Lookalikes Of Different Races
I know we use a lot of hyperbole in this day and age, but I honestly can't recall ever seeing a dress that is hotter than this. I'm sure there have been others, but to be honest...what were we talking about?
Bella Hadid attended the premiere of "The Unkown Girl (La Fille Inconnue)" during the 69th annual Cannes Film Festival yesterday, and she showed up in this. There has never been a sexier lady in red.
Photos via Getty
Related: Bella Hadid's Cleavage Should Win A Grammy
How good are things in this guy's district if this is the number one issue on his plate?
According to The Washington Post, a Louisiana state representative who recently proposed both an age and weight limit for strippers in his state said he was just joking, but some of his coworkers weren't laughing about it as much as we did.
While discussing a bill that would require tit bar dancers in Louisiana to be at least 21 years old, Rep. Kenny Harvard made an amendment that would also ban women from hopping on the pole if they're over the age of 28 or tipping the scales at more than 160 pounds.
Many of Harvard's colleagues on the House floor ate it up and laughed at his proposal, but Rep. Nancy Landry didn't care for it and asked Harvard if he thought that meant such women were "unfit to be dancers."
"No ma'am," Harvard replied. "I'm just worried about their health, and I wouldn't want them to hurt one another."
Rep. Julie Stokes said she had "never been more repulsed" than she was talking over the bill, and other lawmakers left gifts on their way out of the session to show how "serious" they were about the discussion.
Those gifts? You guessed it: Dollar bills.
On second thought, I will study for that test: Principal Offers Strip Club Trip To Students Who Get Good Grades
Most fans of writer/director Joss Whedon will recognize Tom Lenk for either his role as Andrew Wells from the long-running series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or Ronald the Intern in the 2012 cult hit "Cabin in the Woods." But since he started posting the following absurdly detailed recreations of famous red carpet looks to his Instagram account two weeks ago, it's become one of his most notable claims to fame. And we don't use the term "absurd" lightly.
@immzstewart is CILLING IT AT CANNES IN HAWT COUTURE. She's serving up early 2000's rave party meets #madmaxfuryroad warrior bride meets @robynkonichiwa "call your girlfriend" REALNESS. And you can too, for waaaay LESS, the #LenkLewkForLess! @stevenalan tote bags (OBVS not mine, that place is FANCEEE and I'm a #Maxanista), mesh Laundry bags, and a non slip rug pad: ALL OF IT 4 $FREE from my HAUS. Tho I may PAY FOR IT LATER AKA KARMIC LAYAWAY when I slip on the Rug. Small price to pay for #hausholdhifashun!
And just in case you were wondering, yes, he's expanded his venture to movie parodies, as well.
How is this guy not more famous? I mean, he's a master of so many looks.
(h/t The A.V. Club)
Related: Cosplayer Best Known For Playing Elsa From 'Frozen' Is Super Hot
There's nothing quite like using Tinder to properly burn potential suitors after less than fulfilling romps in the bedroom. Carmen clearly gets it. After a night out at a costume party resulted in a one-night stand of...the opposite of epic proportions, she just couldn't resist making perhaps the most brutal blow to a man's pride a woman can possibly deliver.
Totally worth a few left swipes.
Related: These Are The Most Honest Girls on Tinder and We Love Them For It
Ain't no funny photos like Friday funny photos because Friday funny photos don't stop. Well, actually, they do. At the bottom of the page. BUT, we've still got plenty to keep you entertained over on Twitter and Instagram. Have a good weekend party people.
Click here for more funny photos.
Click here for more funny photos.
Click here for more funny photos.
Blair's 16 Million Reserve (16 million Scoville units)
Along with Blair's 6 A.M. and their 2009 Halloween Reserve, this not-so-tasty treat clocks in at 16 million Scoville. That's 3,200 times hotter than your average jalapeño. Blair's has an additional seven or more hot sauces running between 13 and 14.5 million Scoville.
Texas Creek Pure Evil (9.6 million Scoville units)
With no flavor and just pure heat, this 9.6 million Scoville sauce is a continuation of the madness that is adding flavorless hot sauce to food that probably could kill most small animals.
Mad Dog 357 Plutonium (9 million Scoville)
Just as it only takes a small amount of plutonium to make a lot of damage, such is the case with Mad Dog's 357 Plutonium. With one of the purest, hottest pepper extracts, this hottest hot sauce is a heat check that will test your limits.
The Source (7.1 million Scoville)
Once a legend and now a lethal weapon, The Source is a renowned hot sauce, a direct connection between you and the bowels of hell. For heaven's sake, don't let anyone dare you to chug it.
Crazy Uncle Jester's The Jester (6 million Scoville)
A limited-edition extract started up in 2010, The Jester is the hard-hitting hot sauce that will give you that scary, creeping feeling most crazy uncles give you. Our highest grade for its appropriate nomenclature.
Bumblefoot's Bumblefucked (6 million Scoville)
Originally made for the Guns N' Roses guitarist, one of the all-time best bands in America, and 1200 times the hotness of a jalapeño, Bumblefucked is a stinger of a sauce with bits of ginger, caffeine and ginseng. What a weird combination!
Cajohns Get Bitten Black Mamba 6 (6 million Scoville)
Hotter than Kobe's jump shot, Black Mamba is a tongue-tied twister of chocolate habanero, vinegar and 6-million extract. Again, a weird trio of ingredients. This and Cajohns Bumblefucked are their two hottest sauces, both ranking in at 6 million Scoville.
Pepper Palace The Hottest Sauce in the Universe (3.5 Scoville)
Well, as you can see, it's not the hottest hot sauce in the universe, but it's damn close. At 3.5 million Scoville, it's still got the hotness of 700 jalapeños, if that gives you any idea (or nightmare).
Smokin' Ed's Carolina Reaper Pepper (2.2 million Scoville)
Listed in 2014's Guinness Book as the World's Hottest Chile, cultivated by Ed Currie of South Carolina, Ed's smokin' hot sauce is now in the ranks of the great gastrointestinal murderers.
Spontaneous Combustion (Scoville Units Unknown)
With pure capsicum extract heat and habanero flavor, this one deserves recognition for both its name and ability to ruin all that you hold dear. Try it out in public with the one you love? We think not, young pyromaniac.
If you're looking for someone to always be there for you, and someone who won't be a complete a-hole, your best bet is probably a dog. People are unreliable, and cats are the worst. So head on out and get yourself a dog, and hopefully you'll get a dog like the one Greg Baskwell owns.
Take a look at Baskwell's dog doing everything he can to help his pal out:
Man, I really need to get myself one of these butler dogs.
These dogs need a little help: 17 Dogs That Suck At Being Dogs
Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
do you want to have a few pancakes, you wuss, or do you want to get real pic.twitter.com/W4x1Gi23Xe— spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) May 3, 2016
My girlfriend found lipstick in my pocket, I told her straight up I was cheating, there was no way I was going to confess I sell AVON .— Mr. (@Nav_shyboy) February 5, 2013
USPS drivers after they ring your doorbell pic.twitter.com/JuRpjUDYxb— $ (@ArlisDoNotChill) April 16, 2016
omg whys she got 2 right feet pic.twitter.com/xbvdcyvByp— lewis (@Iewisjhardie) May 5, 2016
If I'm being honest, I'm really only ballin' 24/5. The weekends are for family and introspection.— Travis McElroy (@travismcelroy) May 5, 2016
Arizona freeway signs about one week away from telling girls to smile pic.twitter.com/D8KOEcFAyE— danchovy (@danchovy) May 3, 2016
I want Hillary but only if Bill has to continue Michelle Obama's fitness initiatives and dance & do sit ups with kids & feed 'em kale & shit— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) May 5, 2016
one time ESPN had Air Bud on to do commentary on a basketball game and it was insane pic.twitter.com/bsDd9YPT1q— Blind Chow (@BlindChow) May 3, 2016
"Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't calling. I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom..." pic.twitter.com/bMIUlkbiqf— Radric Davis Jr (@Ecalevol) May 4, 2016
Was laying in bed & tried to take a sexy picture it looked like I was sad & dying but sent it to him anyway maybe he'll finally send flowers— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) May 4, 2016
Ok parents, seriously you have to fucking stop pic.twitter.com/rjKCg7WtsO— Tugboat (@mattytalks) May 6, 2016
Cookie Monster is probably a sex god if you think about it— cry (@cyr) May 5, 2016
dont cry because its over. cry because your world is spiraling out of control and you are inching closer and closer to your inevitable death— Jared Oban (@jaredoban) May 6, 2016
My niece asked me to play House but then she got all upset when I walked around with a limp & sarcastically diagnosed her mysterious illness— Max Miller (@RuinMyWeek) May 4, 2016
why does this look like the poster to an ABC show about a family hiding the murder of their maid pic.twitter.com/Uqv5XvEDVM— Elijah Daniel (@aguywithnolife) May 5, 2016
I hate when I don't hear from a guy because he's practicing talking to me w his guy friends n they r wearing a wig n talkin n a girl voice— allison (@allstn) May 3, 2016
I wonder what he's going to do next. pic.twitter.com/n1mrpBFZ8h— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) May 4, 2016
FIRST PERSON TO GET A CAT: haha this thing is an asshole I'm gonna keep it— titus bros (@thetits) May 3, 2016
this is why god doesn't talk to us anymore pic.twitter.com/E24cTGZ4hs— Elijah Daniel (@aguywithnolife) May 1, 2016
Who is ready for spring? Spoiler alert it's me https://t.co/2VmM9IMoJ5— Aaron Chewning (@AaronChewning) May 3, 2016
Want more? Check out last week's hilarious tweets.
Open up Instagram right now. Now scroll. Chances are you've scrolled by at least one person who is promoting some sort of product, and they are usually seductively posing near said product. Usually goes like this: "Let me just place this herbal tea near my ass so I can promote it." At least it's like that when I do it. But someone needs to tell Scott Disick how Instagram marketing works, because he has no idea.
Skinny Tea reached out to Disick in hopes that he would promote their stuff. But it looks like Disick literally took the email he received from them word for word and copied it right onto his caption. Take a look at what Disick shared on his Instagram thanks to Frankie Greek on Twitter:
In which Scott Disick copied and pasted the email from the skinny tea marketing team onto his Instagram caption pic.twitter.com/ocVdxi4jaZ— Young Lady (@frankiegreek) May 19, 2016
You had one job, Disick. And you couldn't even do that right.
Well, at least we'll always have this: Thirsty Dude Instagram Comment Generator
Back in April, Morgantown, West Virginia, was the setting of a pizza parlor brawl for the ages. As Twitter user Autumn Collins pointed out in her tweet below, there were roughly 20 people involved in the scuffle. And yet, we have this guy.
Probably a 20 person brawl last night and that pizza was his only concern. He might be my soulmate. pic.twitter.com/ZX259tMBGn— Autumn Collins (@AutumnBrie1) April 24, 2016
I'd say, "That has to be some quality pizza," but the dude is also sitting on the floor as he is eating it, so perhaps his standards of excellence aren't exactly up to snuff.
He should give this place a try: Can You Count How Many Rats Escape Into The Ceiling At This Restaurant When The Lights Get Turned On?