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    While "Saturday Night Live" doesn't always hit the mark, there are times when they get it just right, and a visit from Andy Samberg and his very popular digital shorts usually do the trick.

    Samberg returned to the Fred Armisen-hosted season finale to play the role of Conner4Real (the alter ego from his new movie, "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping.") And he brought with him a song titled "Finest Girl." A song about one thing: getting it on and fucking like the U.S. "fucked Bin Laden." Yep.

    Take a look at the hilarious clip below, but it has very NSFW language so beware, and plug in those headphones:


    And now you'll be singing this all day.

    Don't think we'll be seeing these folks anytime soon: 10 People Who Have Been Banned From 'Saturday Night Live'

     

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    A bunch of graduations are happening this month, as young people everywhere eagerly wait to walk across the stage and grab a piece of paper that officially represents that they just wasted their time racking up debt for no reason. The best part: family and friends have to sit through four-hour ceremonies to see that.

    Then there's this guy, who got a firsthand look at his sister's graduation when he accidentally ended up in the middle of the line to walk up on stage.

    The dude below attended his sister's college graduation, but when nature called and he went to look for the restroom, he ended up as part of the graduates instead. Take a look at what happened thanks to Reddit:

    Guy Go To Look For Restroom, Ends Up In The Middle Of A Graduation Instead

    Guy Go To Look For Restroom, Ends Up In The Middle Of A Graduation Instead

    Guy Go To Look For Restroom, Ends Up In The Middle Of A Graduation Instead

    Guy Go To Look For Restroom, Ends Up In The Middle Of A Graduation Instead

    Guy Go To Look For Restroom, Ends Up In The Middle Of A Graduation Instead

    Guy Go To Look For Restroom, Ends Up In The Middle Of A Graduation Instead

    Guy Go To Look For Restroom, Ends Up In The Middle Of A Graduation Instead

    Guy Go To Look For Restroom, Ends Up In The Middle Of A Graduation Instead
    And yet somehow he still has to pay off loans.

    Well this is one way to leave your mark: 17 Yearbook Quotes That Show Our Future Isn't Totally Screwed

     

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    Other than when members of the Indiana Pacers go into the crowd and beat up NBA fans, there are no brawls in sports better than baseball brawls. Benches clear, multiple scuffles often break out and sometimes old coaches get thrown to the ground by opposing team's aces (you'll see). In honor of summer baseball being upon us, here are some of the best, most recent punches to the face in MLB history.

    Rougned Odor vs. Jose Bautista
    rougned odor jose bautista punch, rangers blue jays brawl
    We obviously must start with last week's slug in the face by Odor of Joey Bats, a dude who I imagine many players in the league have wanted to punch.


    Martin Maldonado vs. Travis Snider
    The Best Punches To The Face In Baseball History
    The head goes back, the hat goes flying, and Snider was left with a black eye. All in a day's work at the ballpark (even though it happened in the third inning). Watch the full fight here.


    Ray Knight vs. Eric Davis

    Much like with Odor and Bautista, this fight ignited over an incident on the base path. Then, like all good MLB brawls, subsequent take-downs and wild fists flying took it to another awesome level.


    Pedro Martinez vs. Mike Williams
    The Best Punches To The Face In Baseball History
    Pitcher-on-pitcher crime. Beautiful.


    Michael Barrett vs. A. J. Pierzynski
    The Best Punches To The Face In Baseball History
    Catcher-on-catcher crime. Even more beautiful (especially when it happens in the Crosstown Classic). As a White Sox fan, I remember this like it was yesterday, but I recently realized that it happened 10 years ago. I'm friggin' old.


    Nyjer Morgan vs. Chris Volstad and Gabby Sanchez
    best punches to the face in mlb baseball history, nyjer morgan chris volstad, washington nationals florida marlins brawl
    Two solid hits in a row! After crazed lunatic Morgan charged Volstad (connecting with a jump punch because the two are almost a foot apart in height), teammate Gaby Sanchez was quick to respond with a clothesline for the books. Good thing everyone saw this fight coming.


    Armando Benitez vs. Darryl Strawberry
    best punches to the face in mlb baseball history, armando benitez darryl strawberry, baltimore orioles new york yankees brawl
    While it may have been Benitez who started what is now considered one of the lengthiest brawls in MLB history with a rogue pitch clearly intended to cause trouble, it was Strawberry's come-from-behind neck punch that ultimately made the best connection.


    Nolan Ryan vs. Robin Ventura

    So many things are awesome about this iconic brawl. One, 20 years separated the two men in age, as Ventura was 26 and Ryan was 46. Two, the instant headlock that Ventura finds himself in. Three, the punches to the top of the head had to hurt, but then the old man sneaks in one uppercut before being taken down. Four, the brawl goes on FOREVER, and you remember that Bo Jackson was on the White Sox, too. Five, Nolan Ryan gets to stay in the fucking game afterwards.

    Baseball will never be better than this.

    Just kidding...


    Pedro Martinez vs. Don Zimmer
    pedro martinez don zimmer, yankees red sox brawl
    It's not a punch to the face, more of a grab of a 72-year-old man's bald head and a toss to the ground. This was back in 2003, when the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry mattered more than anything else. Everyone was so shocked and/or disgusted by this that it actually helped calm things down, but it still lives in infamy as the most hilariously awful baseball brawl of all time. You can watch how it all went down here.

     

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    Even though there are millions of porn clips out there for our viewing pleasure, sometimes it's nice to go the classic route and think about our favorite celebrities when we do our thing. And according to sex toy company We-Vibe, we all masturbate to the same certain celebrities.

    The sex toy company surveyed 1,032 Americans, and discovered that 33 percent of men and 19 percent of women regularly enjoy personal time with famous people in mind. Take a look at some of those celebrities that people routinely think about during their masturbation fun.

    Jennifer Lopez

    Happy sunny day!! Are you guys ready for #aintyourmama video!!??

    A photo posted by Jennifer Lopez (@jlo) on

    J-Lo was ranked as the number one most masturbated to celebrity. I think she gets a medal for this.

    Carrie Underwood

    Jennifer Lawerence


    Jessica Alba

    Emma Watson

    And now here are some dudes a lot of folks think of during happy time:

    Channing Tatum

    Ryan Gosling

    Adam Levine

    @mrgenehong I got photoHONGed

    A photo posted by Adam Levine (@adamlevine) on


    Johnny Depp

    By @cerealkyler

    A photo posted by Johnny Depp (@johnnydepp.oficial) on


    Justin Timberlake

    Turn up. #Cannes #BTS (📷: @gregwilliamsphotography )

    A photo posted by Justin Timberlake (@justintimberlake) on


    h/t Mic

    And then there are these folks: 12 People Confess Their Most Shameful Masturbation Habits

     

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    Growing up, my favorite league of superheroes were the X-Men without a doubt. There was something appealing in that fact that each hero had their own unique power that made them paramount to the team.

    To me at least, this prospect was more engaging than a single being boasting a plethora of powers that made them virtually indestructible, like a very popular hero in the DC universe who daylights as a journalist. That said, though, I will admit that some X-men's powers are better than others. Some, exponentially better.

    To celebrate the release of "X-Men: Apocalypse" on May 19 (a film that looks terrific in an action sense, but lacking in story), we're taking a look at the most useless mutants in the X-Men universe, most of whom you probably didn't even know existed, because they shouldn't.

    1. Cypher
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    Basically, Cypher is an educated translator (though this lackluster power is spectacularly described as "omnilingualism"). This big, useless word basically means his powers within the X-Men is to interpret different languages, despite all mutants traditionally speaking English -- that is, until his sad excuse for existence was required and suddenly everybody's a foreigner speaking languages only he understands.

    How does this ability help in battle? It doesn't. I assume he stands at the sidelines and lets his comrades know when a bad guy sh*t talks them in a different language.

    2. Jubilee
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    Prior to joining the X-Men, Jubilee witnessed her parents' murder. As a result, she decided to live in a mall and hassle security guards for some reason. Her powers -- shooting bright firecrackers at her enemies, which do very little damage -- are incredibly weak, and only second to her annoying teenage quips written by guys old enough to be her father. In a desperate attempt to make Jubilee more badass (which they've been trying to do for years), she's a vampire now. Because why not?

    3. Dazzler
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    Dazzler's powers, from what I understand, give her the ability to turn sound into light, whatever that means. Basically, she's like Jubilee, except she's a disco singer and has Rollerblades, which in turn makes her insurmountably cooler, but no less ineffective.

    4. Cyclops
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    I figured this one would be the most disputed, but hear me out. Cyclops is terrible. He's the absolute worst. Not only does he keep Wolverine from defiling the always pretentious Jean Grey, but his powers are uninspired. The guy shoots lasers for crying out loud. Not to mention, these lasers don't even pierce the skin; they just push enemies back a bit, granting the X-Men some more time. How this egotistical frat boy without any personality came to lead the X-Men is a complete mystery to me.

    5. Strong Guy
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    Guess what his powers are?

    6. Domino
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    Her superpower is "luck." Yes, you read that right, luck. How this benefits her in battle, I'm not sure. But what I can say is she's somebody you'd definitely want on your side when buying a lottery ticket.

    7. Goldballs
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    Goldballs is yet another mutant whose stupid name is a direct representation of his powers. Indeed, this chubby hero shoots golden balls at his enemies. The only possible benefit I can see for this guy is collecting the gold balls after he's finished shooting them. That gold sh*t goes for a ton of cash these days.

    8. Callisto
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    Callisto is the leader of the Morlocks, a group of misfit mutants who live below ground in their own ugly society. As the group's leader, you'd assume her mutant powers are impressive, that they're better than most. But alas, like Cyclops, they are not. What are these powers, you ask? Tentacle arms! Yep, tentacle arms. Apparently she's a pretty good brawler as well, but that's not really a power. Neither is her notable androgyny.

    9. Ink
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    As you might have guessed from his name, Ink's tattoos are his powers. The best part of it all being that prior to getting tatted, he was just a regular guy. His tattoo artist was the mutant, and the symbols he has tattooed on him become representative of his powers. For instance, his tattoo of a biohazard symbol makes people sick. Which makes one wonder what the powers a tramp stamp would provide.

    10. Toad
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    Of all the animals to have powers based off on, I can't imagine many would say "a toad!" Unfortunately, this is the "power" that has been bestowed on the aptly named Toad, a mutant who never received any form of respect from his comrades, nor his enemies. His long tongue is cool, I guess, if not for fighting enemies than for cunnilingus.

    11. Jazz
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    His skin is blue. That's it. Despite multiple mutants boasting blue pigment and still having impressive powers (Mystique and Nightcrawler, for example) Jazz's powers are more like acne, and are just there. If that wasn't bad enough, Jazz has aspirations of becoming a professional rapper, despite having very little talent.

    12. Doop
    Apocalypse Is Coming: The 12 Most Useless Mutants In The X-Men Universe
    Just look at this guy. He's an avocado/pickle hybrid. I'm not even sure what his powers are, but I do know that, in addition to looking like this, nobody can understand him either. Maybe Cypher, actually.

     

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    The average person can handle a g-force of up to 5 g, which is exactly where the extreme G-Max thrill ride at Clarke Quay Fairground in Singapore tops out. So at least when it comes to bungee rides, I guess you could technically say that this poor bastard is less than average:


    To be fair, that kid looked as though just the thought of what was going to happen on that ride was enough to do the trick, so once that puppy got going, it was just a matter of time. It's also a good thing the kid didn't stop at Taco Bell for dinner beforehand, or he probably would have also shit his pants.

    Then again, it's been proven millions of times over that it doesn't take a G-Max bungee ride for that to happen.

    h/t Barstool Sports

    Attention Barf Cleaners: Kid Barfs In Portland Bookstore Then Sends Amazing Apology Letter

     

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    Odds are if word began spreading that there was a dude who looks like Hodor standing on the corner of Washington and Culver kicking every dude who walks by him in the balls, you'd find a different route for your morning walk to work.

    Thankfully for Chipotle share owners, the same logic doesn't apply to contaminated food and apparently whole chicken feet in burrito bowls.

    That's right, kids. According to BroBible, there are people who still consider Chipotle to be a viable dining option, and one of those morons was recently shocked when she made it three-fourths of the way through her burrito bowl and found a chicken foot at the bottom of it, claws and all:


    Chipotle responded to "Rox" and asked her for details, and we're assuming her reply was as simple as, "I went to Chipotle. There was a chicken foot in my burrito bowl. There should not be a chicken foot in my burrito bowl."

    A Girl Found A Chicken Foot In Her Burrito Bowl At Chipotle
    Although if you're still going to Chipotle and expecting an experience that doesn't end with projectile shits or things like chicken feet in your grub, you might want to start by filing a complaint with yourself instead of the "restaurant" when something like this happens. Because at this point, it's your fault.

    Yeah, can I get my soft taco without human blood this time? The 10 Grossest Things People Found In Fast Food

     

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    Anybody else think this French vanilla tastes a little off?

    According to the Toronto Star, a 41-year-old man who admitted to ejaculating into a female coworker's coffee cup and on her desk as well as rubbing his penis on her phone "for years" -- and recorded himself doing so -- will be free to walk the streets in 2017 after an Ontario judge sentenced him to just 18 months behind bars.

    man sentenced for putting semen in coworker's coffee for years
    Douglas Whaley pleaded guilty to mischief to property as well as four counts of voyeurism and one count of illegally entering a dwelling to commit an offense for breaking into houses and videotaping unsuspecting victims in the shower. He also "sneaked into a home and videotaped himself 'masturbating and ejaculating' into the victim's underwear."

    Because Whaley had already served six months leading up to the sentencing, he'll be a free man this time next year albeit a free man with a record that also includes a 2011 conviction for "taking up-skirt pictures of a 16-year-old girl" in Walmart as well as another one for snapping a photo of a woman's ass at that same Walmart just two weeks after his probation ended in 2013.

    In a related story, I feel pretty good about myself today.

    We'll also pass on the vaginal yogurt. Thanks: Wisconsin Student Makes Yogurt With Her Vagina

     

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    If you want to look depressed, there is apparently no better song to accompany you than "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel. Ben Affleck set the standard a few months back when "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice" stunk up theaters with its mediocrity, and now Andrew Stadelberger is giving it his best go at a friend's wedding. As you can see, he's 30 years old, and the novelty of yucking it up at probably the fifth reception he's had to attend this year has run its course.


    An empty beer bottle is kind of a prop, right?

    If you thought sadness was hilarious in slow-mo: Watch This Cute Yet Epic Mid-Air Dog Collision In Slow Motion

     

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    Let me start by saying I hate everyone reading this for making me sit through Kendra Wilkinson's music video "Lost in Space" which, not surprisingly, contains no mention of the words "lost" or "space" in it. Yet, it's riddled with tons of footage from the '60s TV series because that's totally relevant and hip these days. Beyond those gripes, however, it's straight awful. With mad rhymes like "call me a flirt, just watch me work" (90 percent of the song) pulverizing your ears at every turn, it may somehow be even more irritating than her voice.


    Kendra, you have two young children. No one wants to hear about you tearing it up on the club scene. Please just stop so I never have to write one of these pieces again.

    Add it to this list, no debate: The 10 Worst Celebrity Songs and Music Videos of All Time

     

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    Victoria Elise is giving it to us hard and straight when she shows us real life versus how Instagram models make it look. We've seen healthy eating expectation vs. reality before, but not quite like this. Check out this Instagram video of Victoria doing some simple shopping turned sexy baking in the kitchen. We promise, if you like baking, you'll love this. Stay tuned for more with Victoria Elise.


    More: Moving In With Your Girlfriend: Expectations vs. Reality

     

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  • 05/24/16--04:24: Today's Funny Photos
  • Today's funny photos are here to make life wonderful. But the first question posed in today's funny photos will ruin your whole perspective on life. So it's really a coin flip as to how you're going to feel after you scroll through this post. If you need a pick me up afterwards, hit us up on Twitter and Instagram.

    funny photos

    funny photos

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    funny photos
    Click here for more funny photos.

    funny photos

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    funny photos

    funny photos

    funny photos

    funny photos
    Click here for more funny photos.

     

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    Turning innocent photos into disgusting sex jokes is what the Internet was made for. Just when I thought I'd found all of them, this whole new batch popped up. What can I say? Everyone on the Internet is going to hell. We might as well laugh on our ride down there. Enjoy.

    funny sexy jokes

    funny sexy jokes

    funny sexy jokes

    funny sexy jokes

    funny sexy jokes

    funny sexy jokes

    funny sexy jokes

    funny sexy jokes

    funny sexy jokes

    funny sexy jokes

    funny sexy jokes

    funny sexy jokes

     

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    Chewbacca Mom took the Internet by storm last week for acting like a lunatic with her Chewbacca mask. Nothing has changed really. She's still acting like a lunatic with a Chewbacca mask. Only now, she's doing it with James Corden and "Star Wars" director J.J. Abrams in the car. Life is good for Chewbacca mom.

     

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    The FBI estimates that at any given moment, there are between 25 and 50 serial killers in the United States. That's less than comforting. Here are a few that were never caught, and are probably in a neighborhood near you.

    West Mesa Serial Killer (2001-2005)
    Victims: 11

    american serial killers that are still out there, serial killers at large
    A desert mesa in Albuquerque, New Mexico, rises above 118th Street. It is there that in 2009, the first bones were discovered. The case of the West Mesa Serial Killer would begin after a woman walking her dog found what appeared to be a human femur sticking out of the ground. Police called to the scene would find a total of 11 skeletal remains in this lonely arid landmass.

    A decade later, one detective remains on the case, but the outlook is bleak. The victims, all in the trades of prostitution and drug trafficking, were Hispanic women, except for one African-American woman who was four months pregnant at the time of her murder. It remains unsolved today. (Photo credit: Vice)


    Long Island Serial Killer (1996-Present)
    Victims: 10

    american serial killers that are still out there, serial killers at large, long island serial killer
    Also known as the Craigslist Killer, his modus operandi is to lure sex workers to his location. Each of the victims advertised their services on Craigslist right before their executions. The town of Gilgo Beach on Long Island is gripped in fear by this maniac prostitute-strangler who has already claimed the lives of 10 women.

    The disappearance of Shannon Gilbert, 23, prompted the discovery of four bodies in December 2010. Six more were found in the same locale only months later. Although the case remains wide open, behavioral psychologists believe the perpetrator is long gone, given the intense media exposure of his brutality. Police have profiled the Long Island Serial Killer as a white man between 20 and 40 years old with access to burlap sacks, in which he contained the bodies. (Photo credit: Investigating Crimes)


    Daytona Beach Killer (2005-2007)
    Victims: 4

    american serial killers that are still out there, serial killers at large, daytona beach killer
    In the span of two years, officers in Daytona found four bodies all killed with the same gun, a Smith & Wesson .40 Cal Sigma Series VE. Laquetta Gunther, Julie Green, Stacey Gage and Iwana Patton were all shot execution style.

    Ridgewood Avenue would be the setting in this case, and the victims were prostitutes who prowled these streets in search of bare necessities such as booze, drugs and cigarettes. It is surmised that the Daytona Beach Killer would solicit their sexual services and make them kneel down. The case is cold, as primary detective Chief Mike Chitwood said, "If you look at the history of serial killers, when all is good with their lives, they stop killing. When things get bad in their lives, they start up again." (Photo credit: Orlando Sentinel)


    Eastbound Strangler (2006)
    Victims: 4

    american serial killers that are still out there, serial killers at large,eastbound strangler
    A drainage ditch behind a seedy motel would be the final resting place for four women in 2006. Barbara Vreidor, Molly Jean Dilts, Kim Raffo and Tracy Ann Roberts were each found strangled to death, face down, within a month's time.

    One prevailing theory is that the Eastbound Strangler is not one, but two men, an African American and a Caucasian, as one witness suggested. They would lure these women, also prostitutes, into a van and entice them with drugs, asking them if they wanted to party at the Golden Key Motel. The bodies were all barefoot, as well, suggesting the murders happened indoors. In 2015, police offered a $25,000 reward for information.


    Edgecombe County Serial Killer (2005-2012)
    Victims: 10

    american serial killers that are still out there, serial killers at large, edgecombe county serial killer
    A farmer in May 2015 was walking in the tiny rural town of Rocky Mount, North Carolina, when he smelled rotting flesh. He assumed it was a deer until he saw two human hands raised above the foliage, as if trying to block a bullet. Melody Wiggins, a local escort, was the first of nine black women who reached their brutal fate over the course of seven years.

    The victims were scattered across three counties, found naked in fields. They were all on the edge of their lives, weak and vulnerable. In 2009, Anthony Pittman, a sex offender, was convicted of one of the killings, but investigators believe he is not the sole killer in this tragic small-town mystery. (Photo credit: Old Cat Lady)


    The Jeff Davis 8 (2005-2009)
    Victims: 8

    american serial killers that are still out there, serial killers at large, jeff davis 8
    Two of the Jeff Davis 8 were cousins, two were roommates, and every victim knew intimately of each other, suggesting without a doubt that the murderer knew them all personally, as well.

    On May 20, 2005, a fisherman in Jennings, LA, cast his line out from a bridge over the murky swamps of Jefferson Davis Parish. He saw what appeared to be a mannequin floating in the water, but this mannequin had flies buzzing over it. It turned out to be the corpse of 28-year-old Lynn Lewis, the first of eight victims that would rock the town of only 10,000 people.

    Ernestine Patterson, 30, Kristen Lopez, 21, Whitnei Dubois, 27, Laconia Brown, 23, Crystal Zeno, 24, Brittney Gary, 17, and Necole Guillory, 26, all lived within the confines of Jennings' savage sex and drug trade. Detectives haven't the slightest clue who is responsible for their deaths. (Photo credit: The Every Three Weekly)


    I-70 Killer (1992)
    Victims: 6-8

    american serial killers that are still out there, serial killers at large, i-70 killer
    Interstate 70 runs along Indiana, Missouri and Kansas. In April and May of 1992, it was terrorized by one lone gunman. Six store clerks were shot, each having met their fate over a measly sum of money. Every clerk was a petite brunette, except for one man, who might've confused the killer with his pony tail. In the following two years, the same suspected serial murderer would strike Texas and kill two more. The I-70 Killer is still a ghost 24 years later.


    Frankford Slasher (1985-1990)
    Victims: 8-9

    american serial killers that are still out there, serial killers at large, frankford slasher
    In a string of murders that would get progressively worse, the Frankford Slasher petrified residents of Frankford Avenue in Philadelphia. Along this neighborhood of vacant buildings and sealed storefronts would be the resting place for nine women stabbed dozens of times. The first victim, Jeanne Durkin, 28, was stabbed 74 times. In an abandoned train yard only a short time later, Helen Patent was shanked 49 times until her entrails were visible to those who found her.

    The perp was described as a "smooth talker" who would prey on women in bars. He would console them and once posed as a counselor. The bastard even rented an office in a church. Witnesses remember him as a middle-aged white man. In 2008, police received word that their prime suspect had died, though we can never be too sure.


    Honolulu Strangler (1985-1986)
    Victims: 5

    american serial killers that are still out there, serial killers at large, honolulu strangler
    Hawaii's first serial killer of note specialized in binding and raping women and leaving their corpses in lagoons. In total, five women died the same way. A strange twist in the story happened when a man called the cops and told them that a psychic told him that a dead body was on Sand Island. They followed the lead and found their fifth victim.

    This man, who is unnamed, was eventually taken in for a polygraph test and an interrogation, where he failed both. His wife further informed the cops that he had left the house in a rage after fights and on every one of these nights, a murder happened. She also said he was into S&M bondage, which coincided with his MO. This surprisingly has never led to a conviction, which has led some to believe that the Honolulu Strangler was, himself, a member of law enforcement. (Photo credit: Pacific Worlds)


    Charlie Chop-Off (1972-1974)
    Victims: 6
    american serial killers that are still out there, serial killers at large, charlie chop-off
    A lighthearted nickname for such a resoundingly torturous killer, Charlie Chop-Off struck fear into Upper Manhattan in the early 1970s. He would lure young boys with promises of quarters and stab them dozens of times. They gave him the name "Chop-Off" because he would mutilate their penises. Douglas Owens, 8, Wendell Hubbard, 9, Luis Ortiz, 9, and Steven Cropper, 8, were all murdered in the same ghastly manner.

    On May 15, 1974, police arrested Erno Soto for a botched abduction of a nine-year-old Puerto Rican boy. He confessed to one of the murders, but given the lack of evidence, they exonerated him and placed him in an asylum for the criminally insane. (Photo credit: Gidy)

     

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    Now that you've made up your mind about this damn dress, and now that you've probably found the cat in the picture overtaken by owls, see if you can hurt your eyes some more by looking at this confusing photo below.

    Can You Figure Out What Is Going On In This Picture?
    Now what exactly is happening here? His legs? Hers? Don't stare at it long enough that you get so frustrated that you start taking out your anger on your family and friends; events that lead to your ending up an alcoholic living on the streets.

    These things happen.

    Via Reddit

    Now see if you're up for this one: People Can't Figure Out How Many Girls Are In This Photo

     

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    It's probably safe to say that the people below didn't own a super secured car like the president does, because their cars never stood a chance once bad luck hit them like a sledgehammer. The one thing the vehicles below have in common is that there is no hope for them anymore. Say so long to these vehicles that used to work properly, as you scroll through these pictures.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    Should have gotten that rental insurance.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    This is why your TV wasn't working.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    Last time this guy listens to his GPS.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    This is one way to show how excited you are for Halloween.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    This car was supposed to double as a boat.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    How I feel about golf.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    "Cars will fly in the future," they said.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    I don't know much about trucks, but I don't think this is a way to get to the contents inside.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    I don't think that's a legal parking spot.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    Mother nature once again being an a-hole.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    Somewhere there's a toddler taking the bus to work.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    That's what happens when you speed to get to Pizza Marie.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    "But Vin Diesel did it..."

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    On second thought, it's a nice day to bike to work.

    This Vehicles Are FUBAR
    "So you're saying you're out of ice cream sandwiches?"

     

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    It's hard to admit, but we all have broken hopes and dreams. We just keep them buried deep and share them with our therapist at the right time. But not Jeff Wyasaki of Obvious Plant. Jeff keeps them in a trash can aptly labeled "Hopes and Dreams." The trash can was even left out for others to fill it in with their disappointments.

    Check out the contents of this trash can below.

    Trash Can For Hopes And Dreams

    Trash Can For Hopes And Dreams

    Trash Can For Hopes And Dreams

    Trash Can For Hopes And Dreams

    Trash Can For Hopes And Dreams

    Trash Can For Hopes And Dreams

    Trash Can For Hopes And Dreams

    Trash Can For Hopes And Dreams

    Trash Can For Hopes And Dreams

    Trash Can For Hopes And Dreams
    But you can live out your days in Florida: This Spoof Guest Book Asking 'What Brought You To Florida?' Was Left At An Airbnb

     

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    Since everything on the Internet will eventually be either photoshopped or turned into a mashup, it was inevitable that classic YouTuber The Tourettes Guy would get thrown into a song mashup. Someone took the popular clip of him burning his hands on a pot, followed by him smashing his head into a chandelier, and inserted it into a bunch of songs.

    Take a look at the hilarious video below featuring songs from Rihanna, Bruno Mars and more (and A TON of f-bombs):


    Just another example of the important things being done on the Internet.

    h/t Bro Bible

    And here's another mashup: Here's A Fun Mashup Of 100 Movie Dance Scenes

     

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    Sometimes what seems like a good idea just isn't. Fortunately for most of us, we don't invest millions upon millions of dollars on these ideas and watch that money burn with the fury of a thousand fires as it sits on grocery store shelves without so much of a glance from prospective buyers.

    This is exactly what happened with the following 18 products. Whether they were labelled and/or translated hilariously wrong, or it was just a disgusting idea to begin with, the following food products were total failures on inception.

    1. Heinz EZ Squirt
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    Everybody likes ketchup. It is arguably the most popular of condiments. Hoping to reap additional profit with a little bit of innovation, Heinz decided to release colored ketchups in blue, green and purple. The result? Food that looked revolting. I once put green ketchup in macaroni and cheese and couldn't even touch it after that.

    2. Orbitz Drinks
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    While pretty to look at (many referred to its appearance as a lava lamp), the beverage didn't taste great, and the edible orbs within the drink made many feel like they were downing backwash. In case it wasn't obvious, the latter wasn't an attractive quality.

    3. Pepsi Blue
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    Food and beverages aren't blue for a reason. It's fiercely unappealing. Going against this insight, Pepsi released Pepsi Blue, a berry-flavored soda that was way too sweet for anybody's palate. As such, the drink didn't last long. It was released mid 2002 and discontinued by 2004.

    4. Oreo O's
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    In the early 2000s audiences were introduced to a cereal that was supposed to taste like Oreos. And we were all pretty excited about it. What we ultimately discovered, however, was that the cereal just tasted like the cookie part of the Oreo, and the icing (the best part, according to everybody) was absent. Maybe if they threw some damn marshmallows into the box, we'd still see these things on shelves.

    5. Coors Rocky Mountain Sparkling Water
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    Indeed, a beer brand released bottled water. Since Coors advertised its beer as "cold brewed with pure rocky mountain spring water," those at Coors saw a potentially profitable opportunity when there was a significant growth in the bottled water market. The beer label on a water bottle understandably confused consumers, and the product only lasted about seven years and was canceled in 1997.

    6. McSpaghetti
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    McDonald's has failed with many of its releases -- "Mighty Wings," "McHot Dog," "McPizza," "McLobster," "McSalad Shakers," "Onion Nuggets" and so on -- but none appeared more disgusting than the McSpaghetti combo, which looked like something you'd get in a recalled Lunchable.

    7. Wendy's Breakfast
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    Despite competing restaurants serving daily breakfasts, Wendy's morning menu just couldn't cut it. I'm not sure why. Best stick to your lukewarm square burgers, frosties and that cute redhead in your commercials.

    8. Coca-Cola Blak
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    Coca-Cola Black -- a beverage that had double the caffeine as a can of Coke with a coffee taste -- was Coca-Cola's unsuccessful answer to energy drinks. While all energy drinks do taste like crap, Blak was just significantly crappier.

    9. Taco Bell's Bell Beefer
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    Taco Bell's advertising tells us we should "Think outside the bun" yet even they opted for the bun at one point in their history. In the 1980's, the Bell Beefer was pulled from the menu due to the fact that the sandwich was a complete mess -- both financially and physically.

    Consumers complained the sandwich would fall apart as soon as they could get their hands on it. However, it's rumored there are still some dedicated fans who've created groups on social media to bring the flimsy sandwich back.

    10. Taco Bell Lunchables
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    All lunchables are disgusting. This is fact. But taking a fast food chain whose food quality is notoriously questionable and teaming up with another is just a really bad idea. The result was a Taco Bell branded D.I.Y taco set (which was cold, by the way), complete with chips/tortillas, what can best be described as a "beef product," and a measly packet of red sauce. To top off this appealing ensemble, it also came with the impossible to open Capri Sun.

    11. Crystal Pepsi
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    Damn, Pepsi, you guys messed up a lot. Crystal Pepsi -- released in the early '90s -- was your average Pepsi, but clear. This stupid idea confused any and all prospective buyers. As a result of this mysterious beverage, Pepsi lost hundreds of millions courtesy of this failed marketing strategy, according to Forbes.

    12. Doritos 3D's
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    During the mid-2000s, Doritos released a product that was essentially a Dorito in 3D, so the product was aptly named to say the least. The problem was, the product took up more space in the bag and wasn't really all that different from the original. Plus, it had limited flavors, especially compared to the original Doritos we've grown to love. I personally liked these a lot, but the general public did not.

    13. New Coke
    18 Disgusting Food Products That Were Utter Failures
    During the infamous "cola wars" of 1985 (this is sarcasm, by the way) the people behind Coke foolishly decided to replace the original formula of their famous soft drink as a means of competing in the market, calling it "New Coke." The public reacted very negatively toward this change; things got hostile. As such, within three months of the release of "New Coke," Coke reintroduced their original formula, calling it "Coca-Cola Classic." Huge fail.

     

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