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Articles on this Page
- 05/25/16--11:53: _You Might Need A Ch...
- 05/25/16--12:08: _The King Of Minor L...
- 05/25/16--13:15: _Salma Hayek And Sus...
- 05/25/16--13:42: _Ana Cheri And Bubbl...
- 05/26/16--04:12: _Today's Funny Photos
- 05/26/16--04:29: _Maple The Musical V...
- 05/26/16--04:50: _12 of the Most Brut...
- 05/26/16--05:50: _The Weekly Mandator...
- 05/26/16--06:50: _9 Reasons Why 'Dirt...
- 05/26/16--07:05: _Pranksters Put Glas...
- 05/26/16--07:50: _The Funniest GIFs O...
- 05/26/16--08:56: _Kid With MMA Skills...
- 05/26/16--09:50: _20 Appropriate Reas...
- 05/26/16--09:53: _This Text Perfectly...
- 05/26/16--10:03: _Get To Know Tyga's ...
- 05/26/16--12:23: _Poor Girl On 'Hover...
- 05/26/16--12:53: _Woman Spends Two Ye...
- 05/26/16--13:05: _New Survey Says Ame...
- 05/26/16--13:49: _British Guy Almost ...
- 05/26/16--14:09: _This Instagram Acco...
- 05/25/16--13:15: Salma Hayek And Susan Sarandon Enjoy Each Other's Boobs In Selfie
- 05/26/16--04:12: Today's Funny Photos
- 05/26/16--04:29: Maple The Musical Vine Dog Is More Talented Than You'll Ever Be
- 05/26/16--05:50: The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Rockaneigh Beach
- 05/26/16--06:50: 9 Reasons Why 'Dirty Work' Is The Most Underrated Comedy Of All Time
- 05/26/16--07:50: The Funniest GIFs Of The Week
- 05/26/16--09:50: 20 Appropriate Reasons For You To Cry
- 05/26/16--10:03: Get To Know Tyga's Hot New Model Girlfriend Demi Rose
- 05/26/16--12:23: Poor Girl On 'Hoverboard From Hell' Crashes Into Wall
- 05/26/16--13:05: New Survey Says Americans Are Fatter Than Ever
Especially if you're watching from somewhere inside that farmhouse on the left.
Sticking around to capture footage of a tornado instead of hightailing it the other way is probably near the top of the list of things you shouldn't do. I mean, just ask Cary Elwes.
But for American meteorologist and storm chaser Reed Timmer, it's a way of life. Check out this dandy he had the stones to stick around for Tuesday evening just outside of Dodge City:
We're not saying we don't appreciate the footage, as seeing something that terrifying up close is definitely satisfying when you're over 1,500 miles away. But damn, son. Be careful.
h/t Barstool Sports
Here's somebody who doesn't share Timmer's passion for storms: Watch How Close This FedEx Driver Came To Getting Swept Away By A Tornado
Let's be honest: Frisco RoughRiders manager Joe Mikulik loses his shit and gets ejected from a minor league baseball game almost as often as Donald Trump says something racist. Still, every time he does, you just have to sit back, crack open a beer and watch Mikulik get his money's worth.
This time around, Mikulik was miffed that the umpires overturned a safe call at first base because they deemed the runner who slid into second intentionally threw his hands in the air in an effort to deflect the ball and break up the double play. He needed roughly two minutes to throw his helmet, slide into second base (twice), take the base out of the ground, punt it several feet and wipe away part of the third base line, all while dropping enough F-bombs to make Joe Pesci look like Mother Theresa.
Mikulik's performance was so damn beautiful this time around, even the fans applauded him, and they were rooting for the other team.
h/t Sports Illustrated
Punches definitely make baseball more watchable: The Best Punches To The Face In Baseball History
Hey, if we admire them, then there's no harm in them admiring each other.
While at the Cannes Film Festival, Salma Hayek and Susan Sarandon thought it would be a great idea to not only take a selfie together, but to take one of them looking at each other's boobs. And you know what? It was a fantastic idea.
Check out the selfie below thanks to Hayek's Instagram:
Just a reminder that Hayek is 49 years old and Sarandon is 69. And hell, Sarandon isn't afraid to flaunt her goods at that age because she did it at this year's SAG awards, too.
Yep, we won't forget again: Salma Hayek Reminds Us Of Her Fantastic Boobs
"What does Ana Cheri blowing bubbles have to do with her being topless?" you might be asking yourself. Well, if you bothered to read the caption underneath the video below, you'd know that it was clearly...uh, something about a contest on her website, I think. Sorry, I guess it is a bit distracting. Anyways, if you weren't already checking it out, you'd be wise (and much more satisfied with your life) to do so.
By the way, I don't want to be rude to Ana in any way, so FYI, the video was promoting the Bubble Gum Box. You can purchase one on her official website's shop page. Now, get back to browsing the numerous sexy pics on her Instagram page as I plan to do. Here are a few examples in case you need that added push.
Instagram is quite the happening place for breasts these days: 'Congratulations' To Nicki Minaj And Her Boobs On Instagram
Let's just get right down to the nitty-gritty. The photos below are funny, and they are here to make you laugh. If you can't accept that, then there's the door! [points to nearest door] Go outside and play, why don't you?
Don't forget to follow us on Twitter and Instagram, too.
ICYMI: Yesterday's Funny Photos
Also check out: All the Funny Photos we got.
Now that that's out of the way, let us introduce you to the pure genius of Maple the musical Vine dog as she takes on some of the greatest hits the world has ever laid ears on, in a way that only a canine could.
"Mr. Tambourine Man" by Bob Dylan
"Fix You" by Coldplay
"Take On Me" by a-ha
"Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
"Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen
If that wasn't enough convincing for you, here are a few more Maple tunes for the road, collected in one groovy YouTube video for your convenience:
Sure, she's good, but can she sing Clapton?: Labradoodle Goes Crazy When "Wonderful Tonight" Plays
1. "Martyrs" (2008)
"Martyrs" is probably the most fascinating movie on the list, but it's certainly one of those you'll watch once and be all set after that. It starts out seeming like it's just going to be a home invasion story, but then takes a sharp turn into, well, I don't want to spoil it for you, but people get skinned alive and you'll see people getting punched in a way that's never bothered you as much in a movie. Just make sure you watch the original and not the subpar remake.
2. "Eden Lake" (2008)
A couple tries to have a relaxing weekend together, but a group of kids and teens start harassing them. Seems innocent enough, right? Haha no. Every time you think, "Oh things are about to turn around," they get exponentially worse. By the time it's over you'll just want someone to hug you and let you know life is going to be OK.
3. "The Human Centipede 2" (2011)
The first "The Human Centipede" was gross, but it was the kind of gross where you'd turn your head and laugh because what was happening was so ridiculous. And then came the sequel. It shed itself of all the silliness and became so incredibly dark and brutal, it seemed to only exist to try and shock and offend. There's a moment with a baby that's so troubling I honestly regret ever seeing it.
4. "The Woman" (2011)
"The Woman" doesn't have the blood and guts of others on the list, but there's something about it that just sticks with you. The brutality isn't dealt out by your typical villains and monsters; it's by a family that, by all accounts, seems completely normal on the surface. Then you start to realize how deep things go and how the choices of parents affect the choices of their children. Just wait until you see how the whole thing ends.
5. "Halloween" (2007)
Rob Zombie is known for taking films to the extreme, but usually he creates his own world. The world of Michael Myers had already been established, so seeing Zombie's vision of it was interesting, to say the least. Everyone seems like they need to take a hot shower, and there are a few scenes that are so troubling and gratuitous, you feel bad even watching them. Even characters you dislike die in ways that almost make you pity them. I swear the scene in the woods where Michael kills his bully seems like it lasts for a week.
6. "Inside" (2007)
It's the story of a woman trying to take a pregnant woman's baby by cutting it out of her with a knife. Can you imagine watching this while you were pregnant? You'd spend the next nine months of your life making sure every window was locked and alarms were installed on every door. Even if you aren't pregnant, it's one hardcore troubling ride.
7. "Megan is Missing" (2011)
You might not have heard of this one because it didn't really get any sort of release, but if you're a horror fan that digs to find hidden gems, you may have come across this one. The movie isn't that well made and honestly it's not that good, but the final scene is almost painful to watch. The story follows a teen girl trying to find her friend who was taken by an online predator. The final scene includes a sexual assault on a teen that feels like an eternity; then we get to watch her slowly being stuffed into a barrel where she continuously screams and begs for her life. Fun times!
8. "Cannibal Holocaust" (1980)
The original found footage film is certainly not for the faint of heart. Animals actually get slaughtered onscreen, and the scenes of the cannibalistic tribe murdering outsiders were so vivid and grotesque the director was arrested because they believed he documented actual murders. It's one of the oldest on the list and still one of the most brutal.
9. "Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom" (1975)
As far as plots go, there isn't much of one. Basically a bunch of rich libertines kidnap 18 teens and torture them in every way you could possibly imagine. They're sexually degraded, psychologically tormented and brutally murdered. To say it's troubling is a severe understatement.
10. "The Passion of the Christ" (2004)
It's shocking that so many churches took their congregations to watch a movie that's gorier and more violent than 99 percent of other theatrically released movies. Reading the story of the crucifixion of Jesus in the Bible was vivid, but seeing it playing out onscreen was downright haunting. This is probably the only movie on the list that your mom has watched.
11. "High Tension" (2003)
"High Tension" gets a lot of praise, but it's only from those that enjoy brutality, because the story makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I mean, at first it seems plausible enough, but when the twist is revealed and you spend any time at all thinking about it, everything totally falls apart. If the extreme violence doesn't turn you off, you should watch it just for the absurd twist.
12. "A Serbian Film" (2010)
Very few movies would I tell you to never watch. Even the most poorly made movie can be hate watched or unintentionally provide a few laughs, but that is certainly not the case with "A Serbian Film." Babies are sexually abused, the murders are repulsive and there's necrophilia, which is more necrophilia than anyone should want in a movie. This is one time a ban on distribution wasn't a bad thing at all.
Yesterday we asked you to use our meme generator to create some hilarious captions to unleash on the Internet. There were a lot of entries, but we managed to narrow them down to these fine and deserving winners. Congratulations, you truly understand what the Internet is all about. And to those of you who lost...oh well, there's always next time.
Submitted by: AJ
Submitted by: Scott
Submitted by: Amp
Submitted by: Ryne
Submitted by: jamie c
Submitted by: janine
Previously on Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Bending Over Backwards
I could listen to Norm Macdonald tell jokes and stories all day. He just has a hilarious way of speaking that you can't help but laugh at, and this film is full of "note to self" bits, exclamations of "good lord!" and "ridiculous!" and countless lines that you will soon be quoting afterward.
Dead Hooker Jokes
The plot of the movie is that Mitch Weaver (played by Macdonald) is a down-on-his-luck loser who finds success when he starts a revenge-for-hire business with his friend Sam (played by Lange) for the purpose of paying for Sam's dad's heart transplant. So it's essentially a series of pranks they pull on jerks who deserve it for one reason or another, and this one kicks it off. And oh hey, David Koechner's in it!
Chris Farley's Cameo
There are many incredible cameos in this film (it's basically a reunion of SNL alums), but Farley -- who happens to be missing half of his nose -- as a bar patron and acquaintance of Mitch is obviously a scene-stealer.
This Amazing Scene
I don't want to ruin it for you, but if you'd like to get the idea of the dark humor that is perfected in "Dirty Work," you can watch it here. So good.
AC/DC "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" Montage
This is pretty self-explanatory.
The Wardrobes And The Music (this counts as two reasons)
Remember the '90s? Well, Norm's wardrobe in this movie will bring you right back, and also serve to remind you that he's Canadian. Meanwhile, the tight bowling shirts that showcase Lange's gut throughout are an added bonus.
As for the soundtrack, get ready for some more of that sweet '90s nostalgia. Third Eye Blind, Better Than Ezra and Green Day will take you back to the decade you wish you never left. And then there's the aforementioned AC/DC montage just to hammer home the fact that this movie rocks.
Christopher McDonald Gets Owned
Is there any actor who is more satisfying to watch get his comeuppance than Christopher McDonald? Best known for playing Shooter McGavin in "Happy Gilmore," McDonald plays an equally hateable asshole named Travis Cole in this comedy. Cole is a corrupt property developer who screws over Mitch and Sam (and Mitch's love interest), but don't worry, he'll get his. Just as he always should.
A Happy Ending (Well, Except For What Happens To Chevy Chase)
Every good comedy should end on a happy and hilarious note, and "Dirty Work" nails both. One of the running gags in the movie is that Dr. Farthing (played by Chevy Chase) has a terrible addiction to gambling on sports. However, he's also the heart surgeon responsible for saving Sam's father. Both of these facts intertwine in a way that works out for all parties involved, but...well you'll just have to watch and see.
Everything is art these days. Everything.
If you've ever been to an art museum or gallery, it won't take you long to realize that art lovers will find a way to discuss everything they see, as they try extremely hard to find some sort of "meaning" behind it. So that's why pranksters took it upon themselves to make art when they visited the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art.
Check out what TJ Khayatan and his friends set on the floor of the museum.
LMAO WE PUT GLASSES ON THE FLOOR AT AN ART GALLERY AND... pic.twitter.com/7TYoHPtjP8— teejay (@TJCruda) May 24, 2016
Yep, TJ and company just put some glasses on the floor and those art lovers ate it up.
This dude needed a closer look at this masterpiece.
And this guy is trying to convince his girlfriend he knows all there is to know about this piece of art.
And now someone will buy this piece of art at an auction for millions of dollars. #Art.
More "art": More Of The Best Worst Examples Of Celebrity Fan Art
Try not to make eye contact.
Never give up on your dreams...OK, maybe she can.
I guess it's a hairy-go-round (caption inspired by Bob Saget).
Not sure if that qualifies as sticking the landing or not.
Whatever beef you two have, just let it go.
Just when you think the funny part's over...
And yet I accidentally bring a full-size deodorant in my bag and they lose their minds.
I'm no cosplay expert, but this wins forever.
Nothing to see here. Just your typical horse cooking flapjacks.
Why'd I bet my life savings on purple car?
My favorite derpy cat GIF has some serious competition now.
I had a few more GIFs, but I guess they'll have to wait until next week.
Fortunately, there are no angry kangaroos in last week's hilarious GIFs.
Bullies are the biggest a-holes around, so it's always nice to see them get what they deserve; even if the bully looks like he's 10 years old.
The video below shows the bully in black pushing another kid, who at first doesn't do anything and pretty much let's him get away with it. But a second push is more than enough for this little Conor McGregor to drop his stuff and drop his bully flat on the ground. Check out the video.
Dana White is salivating right now.
h/t Bro Bible
Another bully getting beat: This Schoolyard Bully Picked On The Wrong Kid
We are all quite aware that life is rough, and usually drowning yourself in liquor or screaming obscenities at strangers on the street are good ways to handle the stress. But then there are times when those coping mechanisms won't suffice, and you find yourself needing another outlet: crying. Here are 20 reasons why it's actually appropriate for you to cry.
1. Your Phone Screen Cracks
I get a cold chill down my spine anytime I see someone casually looking at their cracked screen like nothing is wrong. Do you not see your phone?! It's ruined. It's as broken as my emotions.
2. Dropping Your Sunglasses in the Urinal
That's what you get for wearing your sunglasses in a public restroom. Now they are covered with the town's piss and poo, and you're covered in salty tears.
3. Your Team Loses the Big Game
"It's only a game," she said, as I continued to bite into my pillow, hoping she wouldn't hear me calling her every name in the book through my sobs.
4. Stubbing Your Pinky Toe
Never has something so small caused you so much pain. Not even the death of your pet hamster hurt as much as this.
5. The Elevator Being Out of Order
You don't have to reach the top floor. You'll come back another day.
6. Your Snack Getting Stuck in the Vending Machine
All you wanted was a little snack to get you through the day. And all you got was a snack trapped in the claw that is the man.
7. It's Monday
There, there. We're all in this together. Now hit "snooze" a few more times and really get those last remaining tears out.
8. Your DVR Not Recording Your Show
You know friends can betray you, but you never thought your DVR would. What a horrible, sinking feeling to be let down by someone you thought loved you.
9. Your Wi-Fi Not Working
Tough to move on from this.
10. Expired Coupon
Those half-priced Oreos were supposed to save your life. Now there's no point in going on.
11. Your Favorite Show Ending
So many seasons gone in a flash. Don't worry, avid TV watcher. You can re-watch it for years on Netflix.
12. Adele on the Radio
Not only do you now hate men, but your face is a tear-covered mess.
13. Realizing Your New Shirt has the Security Tag Still Attached
Before you plot revenge on the cashier, a good cry is needed.
14. Hitting Your Finger on the Car Door During Winter
Go ahead and sit in your car. Now close the door. Now yell like you've never yelled before.
15. When a Dog Dies in a Movie
Why, Cujo, why? Why did you have to leave us so soon?
16. Doing Math
Just, no. I don't understand why these two trains left at the same time, and why "X" has to be something. Just, I can't.
17. When You're a Dollar Short of Free Shipping
What did you do in your past life to deserve this injustice?
18. Having to Sit in the Front Row at a Movie Theater
Now you get to spend the next two hours looking up, as single tears run down your face while your neck is damaged.
19. No Hot Water
The only good thing is you can't tell what's water and what's tears.
20. The Words "President Donald Trump"
Ugly cry while you look at yourself in the mirror. You've earned it.
When it comes to sex, men and women are on two different planets. It's just a fact. And the text below pretty much proves just how far apart we truly are. Check out how a gal and a guy behave right after they've reached the pinnacle of Point Pleasure.
Yep, hit it right on the spot.
It's the same with dating: First Date Thoughts: Differences Between Men And Women
Nobody cares about Tyga, and the only thing you know about him is that he had a very publicized relationship with Kylie Jenner when she was underage. But now that he's done with her and his creepy ways for now, let's take a look at his new girlfriend. And hey, she's of age so that's a bonus.
Demi Rose is the 21-year-old English model that Tyga somehow snagged. I have no clue how he does it, but something tells me it isn't his "amazing" rapping that woos them. Take a look at more of Demi Rose thanks to her Instagram:
Get to know her more: Demi Rose Is The British Babe You've Been Searching For
When they function correctly, electric hoverboards can be almost as much fun as throwing Tootsie Rolls at teenagers who are still trick-or-treating on Halloween. But the list of reasons not to own a hoverboard is getting longer with each passing week, as some kind of accident on one of these things seems to happen almost as often as Johnny Manziel cracks open a beer before noon.
Case in point, two sisters were recently playing on their hoverboards when one of them began spinning out of control. The girl on the "hoverboard from hell" begged her sister for help, but it was no use. The only thing bringing this ordeal to an end was the wall.
Hey, sometimes fun hurts. And look on the bright side. When the hoverboard smashed into the wall, at least it didn't burst into flames and burn the house to the ground.
h/t The Huffington Post
And here we have a dildo hoverboard because why the hell not? The Dildo Hoverboard Makes Your Commute To Work Pleasurable
Some people like spending their time working out or reading. The woman in this story uses her time to take selfies with couples making out. And I think that sounds better than working out.
The woman, who goes by the name sofiagia on imgur, shared all the pictures she has taken in the last two years. She's in all of them, and the only thing that changes are the strangers that are making out behind her. Check out all these gems below.
It's good to document these things: Guy Photographs The Tragic Tale Of The Third Wheel
We'd offer up some kind of medal or award, but apparently odds are pretty high that somebody would eat it.
According to CNN, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention conducted their annual National Health Interview Survey last year, and it looks as though Americans are fatter than they have ever been.
A record 30.4 percent of Americans at least 20 years of age surveyed in 2015 said they were obese. In 1997, that number was "only" 19.4 percent. The biggest group of fatties fall between the ages of 40 and 59, with 34.6 percent of them waking up every morning in the obese category.
Obviously, Americans' diets are the big culprit behind their consistent rise in obesity, but the same survey said only 15.1 percent of Americans at least 18 years of age are now smoking on a regular basis, which is way down from 24.7 percent in 1997. And anybody who has ever seen what happens to somebody when they give up cancer sticks knows what we're getting at here.
And in what is definitely a related story, 9.5 percent of Americans at least 18 years of age said they have diabetes compared to just 5.1 percent in 1997, so good work, kids. More Skittles and Mountain Dew!
We're looking at you, Mississippi: The Map Of The Fattest States Is Something They Didn't Show You In Geography Class
Maybe Johnny Football really doesn't have a problem.
According to the Daily Mail, an 18-year-old British tourist made the former NFL quarterback look like a model citizen after he recently took 75 shots of caramel vodka and Sambuca at a Spanish bar, almost died and then vowed to get back on the horse after taking only one night to recover.
Cameron Relf was treated by paramedics shortly after he passed out on the pavement outside of Lush Bar in Magaluf earlier this week. They rushed him to a nearby hospital, where doctors discharged him after a brief eight-hour stay.
Yet despite the fact that his mom and others were worried about his near-death experience, Relf told reporters that he knew what he was getting into before he was allegedly "egged on by shot girls and gaggles of tourists" to down 75 shots of the hard shit.
"We had been up for a really large night out, but that's what you do in Magaluf," Relf said. "We were going on holiday in the first place to have a good time and party. The shot girls just kept getting us to drink more. I went out wanting to have a good night with the lads in the knowledge that whatever happens, happens. I took last night off to recover, but I'm going back out tonight and will probably be drinking pints and Jagerbombs."
Well, you can call him a moron or an imbecile, but one thing you can' t call Cameron Relf is a quitter.
They had a perfectly good reason why they were stopped on the highway: Here Are The Wildest Things People Have Done While Drunk
Though I slightly modified the quote using Frinkiac, I believe Homer Simpson said it best:
What's not to love? It's all the pizza you can handle with none of the hassle: The Excruciating Process Of Ordering Pizza With Your Friends (VIDEO)