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- 06/06/16--06:31: _Guy Quickly Learns ...
- 06/06/16--06:50: _The Grossest Guinne...
- 06/06/16--06:57: _This Tinder Rejecti...
- 06/06/16--07:50: _10 Cars Driven By T...
- 06/06/16--08:59: _Charisma Carpenter ...
- 06/06/16--09:50: _40 Drinking Toasts ...
- 06/06/16--11:23: _Mom Grounds Daughte...
- 06/06/16--12:55: _Watch This Monkey S...
- 06/06/16--13:21: _Guy Fieri Eating Ev...
- 06/06/16--13:30: _Even Miss Californi...
- 06/06/16--14:25: _Golfer's Trick Shot...
- 06/07/16--03:11: _7 Obvious Fact Meme...
- 06/07/16--03:55: _Mandatory Friend Ca...
- 06/07/16--04:07: _12 Black Box Record...
- 06/07/16--04:58: _Today's Funny Photos
- 06/07/16--05:50: _The Most Spoiled Ki...
- 06/07/16--06:10: _So There's A Secret...
- 06/07/16--06:38: _Guy Sends White Hou...
- 06/07/16--07:50: _If Every State Had ...
- 06/07/16--08:30: _Celebrate Emily Rat...
- 06/06/16--06:50: The Grossest Guinness World Records Out There
- 06/06/16--06:57: This Tinder Rejection Will Make You Cringe And Maybe Even Cry
- 06/06/16--07:50: 10 Cars Driven By The Biggest Movie Assholes
- 06/06/16--08:59: Charisma Carpenter From 'Buffy' Is Still Slaying
- 06/06/16--09:50: 40 Drinking Toasts To Make Everyone Love You
- 06/06/16--12:55: Watch This Monkey Steal Cash From An Indian Jewelry Store
- 06/06/16--14:25: Golfer's Trick Shot Opens A Bottle Of Champagne
- 06/07/16--03:11: 7 Obvious Fact Memes That Will Teach You Nothing
- 06/07/16--03:55: Mandatory Friend Candace Smith Set To Star In 'My Father Die'
- 06/07/16--04:07: 12 Black Box Recordings Right Before Their Planes Crashed
- 06/07/16--04:58: Today's Funny Photos
- 06/07/16--05:50: The Most Spoiled Kids In The World
- 06/07/16--06:10: So There's A Secret Room On Airplanes For Flight Attendants
- 06/07/16--07:50: If Every State Had A Tinder Profile
- 06/07/16--08:30: Celebrate Emily Ratajkowski's Birthday By Enjoying Her Hottest GIFs
While Tinder is usually the go-to dating app, some people head toward Bumble for their dating needs. And while it is not as popular as Tinder, Bumble still has its share of bizarre and scary encounters. Take for example the woman that Reddit user AC_Eskimo matched up with. It started innocently enough with a "hey," and then completely spiraled out of control.
Sucks when people act like dickholds.
Not one damn giving: These Tinder Profiles Prove That Some People Have Zero Boundaries
Farthest Milk-Squirting Distance
Turkish man, Mehmet Yilmaz, shot an impressive stream of milk from his eye in 2004, as far as 279 centimeters. Usually these records involve things most people can do in some small capacity, so the question remains: How the hell is he shooting milk from his eye? (And why?)
Most Cockroaches Eaten
Retired English rat catcher, Ken Edwards, ate 36 cockroaches in one minute on the set of "The Big Breakfast." Who needs an exterminator when you could have this crazy fella as a friend.
Most Live Rattlesnakes Held in One Mouth
Texas snake enthusiast, Jackie Bibby, broke his own record for most live rattlesnakes held in his mouth in 2012 by holding 13 full-grown snakes by their rattling tails for 10 seconds. You have to be passionate to beat your own record. There are records for some people with the most maggots held on their body or eaten or moved with their tongue, but that's too gross to look at, but it is, however, a super freaky sexual fetish.
Loudest Female Belch
Dialed in at an explosive 104.75 dB on a certified and calibrated class 1 noise level meter, Jodie Parks of the United States set the record in Madrid, Spain, in February of 2008. The longest burp was recorded in 2012 and clocked in at 18.1 seconds. Imagine taking that out to dinner!
Largest Object Removed from a Living Human Skull
Michael Hill was stabbed in the head and left for dead, but instead, he walked to his friend's to get a hand with the 8-inch survival knife embedded in his grey matter. Hill claims he didn't feel it until he got to the hospital and felt his eyes coming out of his head. Talk about unbelievable medical miracles.
Most Spiders on a Body
Tom Buchanan, an Australian child, claimed the world record for having the most spiders on his body for 30 seconds. He had 125 Golden Orb spiders, nonpoisonous but still completely gross, on his body for a total of 55 seconds. Was he just enjoying those last 25 unnecessary seconds?
Largest Tumor Removed from a Human Body
Yang Jianbin, 37, had a 242-pound tumor surgically removed after it grew for 25 years. I can't even talk about this any further.
Old faithful, Horst Schultz, was able to ejaculate over 18 feet, earning him this record.
Most Prolonged Fart
London is home of the world's most prolonged fart. Bernard Clemmens managed to sustain his fart for two minutes and 42 seconds. What are the odds he had a handful of Fiery Doritos Los Tacos?
In 2006, a 500-person orgy was filmed in a giant warehouse, and apparently the DVD is still available. First of all, where the hell was I? And second, whatever happened to free porn sites?
It's tough to deal with rejection of any kind. While you may get pretty used to seeing it on Tinder, it's still difficult not to feel bad when you see Tinder exchanges like the one below. This guy thought he had a girl named Sarahi right where he wanted her, and then she completely ripped his world apart.
Rejection is tough to swallow for these dudes: 11 Guys Who Seem To Have A Difficult Time Handling Rejection
1965 Mustang from "The Outsiders"
For many Gen-Xers, S.E. Hinton had as much to do with our upbringing as HBO. And nowhere was her influence more soundly cemented than her classic YA book (before YA likely existed) "The Outsiders," and the Francis Ford Coppola film it inspired, which pretty much kicked off the Brat Pack era. Of all the many huge stars the film launched, none of those are the elitist asshole Socs who like to scare the shit out of poor, innocent Greasers -- unless you consider Leif Garrett a huge star. But the world would never have hated those raised-collar thugs if they didn't cruise for Greasers in a classic blue 1965 Mustang. Every time we see the car, we know trouble is coming. These assholes are so defined by their car that Pony Boy (who doesn't drive a pony car) tells them that a Soc is merely "white trash with Mustangs and madras." And just to prove he's right, they try to drown him. Of course, regular everyday Mustang drivers have done their fair share to prove Pony's rightness, so much so that there's actually an Urban Dictionary definition.
1977 Corvette from "The Wraith"
As Dirk Diggler showed us, the C3 Corvette is the perfect ride for porn stars, perhaps because it looks like a giant penis. It's also one of the ultimate asshole cars, probably for the same reason. And there aren't many cinematic jerks bigger than Packard Walsh, menacingly played by Nick Cassavettes, who somehow channeled that same talent to direct "The Notebook" years later. In "The Wraith," Packard gets what's coming to him when mysterious Charlie Sheen and a futuristic Dodge M4S Turbo Interceptor show a "gang of motorhead thugs" who's boss. And what else would you expect the head thug to drive than a three-tone, all-American 1977 Corvette that looks like a pulsating racing cock?
The #55 Perrier Chevrolet NASCAR from "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby"
Imagine how different Ricky Bobby's story would have been without asshole French F1 driver Jean Girard as an adversary. For that matter, imagine how different the film would have been without cars. See how important assholes and cars are? They're just two great nouns that go great together, like shake 'n' bake...if those weren't verbs.
1965 Ford Falcon from "Better Off Dead"
Perhaps no one understood the importance of an asshole car more than Savage Steve Holland, the writer/director of not just this triumphant film, but also "One Crazy Summer" and, oddly enough, the animator of the "Press Your Luck" Whammy. These asshole Asian brothers -- "One speaks no English, the other learned English from watching 'The Wide World of Sports'" -- are often overlooked for the film's main asshole Roy Stalin or the asshole kid on the bike hounding Lane Meyer (John Cusack) for two bucks, but neither of those guys had a 1965 Ford Falcon fixed up with a PA system rigged for the sole purpose of talking Howard Cosell-shit to Lane.
1983 Ferrari 308 GTS from "One Crazy Summer"
Like his debut film above, Savage Steve's second incredible effort featured an asshole car as a subplot that helps the main character stop being a dweeb and get the girl. In this case, it's lovable Hoops, again played by sad-sack Cusack as an unimportant loser who overcomes his patheticness and lands a pre-boob job Demi Moore. To do so, he bests speedo-wearing (total asshole garb) Teddy Beckerstead by chopping off the rear end of his 1983 Ferrari 308 QV GTSi, CULATER license plate and all. Magnum would have been so pissed.
1974 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am SD-455 from "Dazed and Confused"
From the onset of Richard Linklater's love letter to the '70s, as the Aerosmith cues up and Pickford's bright orange 1970 Pontiac GTO rolls slowly into the Lee High School parking lot, you know you're about to watch a movie for car guys who like movies. And since it's a high school movie, you're bound to get a few assholes, too. None are bigger than Clint, the black T-shirt tucking douche who, when he's done working on his '74 Firebird Trans Am "White Lightning," is really only interested in drinking beer and kicking ass. What is it about American muscle that just makes meatheads want to flex?
1946 Ford Super De Luxe from "Back to the Future"
What kind of an asshole uses his car to try and kill another person? And on multiple occasions!? Especially a sailor as noble as Marty McFly? Biff is that kind of asshole, and arguably the second-biggest asshole in all of film (right behind Johnny Lawrence, who mostly rode a motorcycle and therefore excluded himself from this list). Again, here's a car that gets a lot of screen time, and is essential to the film's plot. But in the "BTTF" trilogy, Biff's 1946 Ford Super De Luxe, which would rip through a DeLorean like "tin foil," is the gift that keeps on giving, providing not one, but two cheer-inducing manure moments.
The Thorndyke Special from "The Love Bug"
I barely have any recollection of this Disney classic other than a stark and clear picture of Peter Thorndyke's 1963 Apollo 3500 GT race car, a car so long and sleek and beautiful and mean, it represented in metal the exact opposite of my own automotive identity: short, bulbous and lovable Herbie. Remembering it now, I guess I also took away from it the fact that an anthropomorphic 1963 Volkswagen racing Beetle could have a better career than me.
C4 Corvette from "Bad Teacher"
Okay, it's not even her car in the movie -- which has been a qualifying factor for the rest of this list -- but there's no doubt Elizabeth Halsey's an asshole. And I'm pretty sure the owner gave her the Corvette as a tip for washing it so well. But it's Cameron Diaz in Daisy Dukes, lying prone and wet on a beautifully lit, teal C4 Corvette, so if you've got a problem with that, take it up with America.
1995 Camaro Z28 from "10 Things I Hate About You"
The most popular girl in school wants to get jiggy with Joey Donner, primarily because he's got a "dope ride." And we all know that the most popular guy in a Hollywood high school tends to be the biggest asshole, too. Joey is such the consummate pig that he even parks Julia Stiles in with his 1995 Chevrolet Camaro Z28, prompting her to wonder, "What is this, Asshole Day?" In a car as Long Island as Long Island gets, the answer is undoubtedly yes.
(h/t to the second greatest film data compiling site around, the Internet Movie Car Database or IMCDB)
Charisma Carpenter is best known for her role as Cordelia Chase in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," but the 45-year-old has a way of staying on everyone's radar by sharing photos of herself on Instagram -- photos like the recent one below that features her topless and sunbathing.
Check out the photo thanks to Carpenter's Instagram:
Carpenter turns 46 next month, but she looks better than a lot of much younger folks out there. Check out some more photos from Instagram if you don't believe me:
Nothing bad with a little charisma: Charisma Carpenter Is As Hot As Ever
1. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. But the ocean's not beer and I'm not a duck, so let's drink these pints and get messed up.
2. To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
3. I would rather be with the people in this room than with the finest people I know.
4. Here's to the women, with little pink shoes; who steal all our money and drink all our booze; now, she's not a virgin but that's not a sin, cause she's still got the box that the cherry came in.
5. Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap.
6. To the new couple: Never sweat the petty things, but always pet the sweaty things.
7. The liver is evil and must be punished.
8. To my schizophrenic friend. He's good people.
9. Of all my favorite things to do,
The utmost is to have a brew.
My love grows for my foamy friend,
With each thirst-quenching elbow bend.
Beer's so frothy, smooth and cold;
It's paradise, pure liquid gold.
Yes, beer means many things to me.
That's all for now, I gotta pee.
10. Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. (Sinatra)
11. "I'd like to say a little prayer for world peace." -Phil Connors
12. Here's to women. So fine and divine, they bleed every month, and bear every nine. There's not another creature on heaven, earth, or hell, that can take the juice from the nut without cracking the shell.
13. Here's to the heat. Not the heat that brings down barns and shanties, but the heat that brings down bras and panties.
14. Take everything in moderation -- including moderation.
15. May we be who our dogs think we are.
16. Here's to lobster tail and beer. Three of my favorite things.
17. Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives ... and to the "good life," whatever it is and wherever it happens to be. (Hunter S. Thompson)
18. To the kisses we've snatched, and vice versa.
19. To your genitalia: May they never fail ya, or jail ya.
20. Here's to staying positive and testing negative.
21. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. So let's get wasted all of the time, and have the time of our life.
22. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic.
23. Here's to the big bull in the wood.
He does the cows and heifers good.
If it weren't for his long, long rod,
Then what would we do for beef, by God?
24. A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. But a whiskey glass and a fat girl's ass are home sweet home to me.
25. To the holidays -- all 365 of them.
26. Here's to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell.
27. Here's to swimmin' with bowlegged women. -Quint
28. Here's to the women who love me terribly. May they soon improve.
29. I want to thank you all for coming, especially my parents, [when you were conceived] years ago.
30. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So let's all get drunk and go to heaven.
31. May our penises always be harder than our lives.
32. Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears.
33. May all your ups and downs be between the sheets.
34. Here's to the girls who do
And here's to the girls who don't
And here's to the girls who say they never will,
But when the time comes, won't.
But here's to the girls most of all,
Who say they never will:
"I can't. I won't. I shan't. I don't!
... but just for you, I will."
35. To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there.
36. Here's to doing and drinking, not sitting and thinking.
37. Here's to lesbians, because they have good taste.
38. Here's to the women who have used and abused us. May they never stop.
39. May you work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, screw like it's being filmed, and drink like a true Irishman.
40. "Here's to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won.
Here's to America's colors, the colors that never run.
May the wings of liberty never lose a feather."
No parent wants to find drugs in their kid's bedroom. Thus, one mom had quite a shock when her daughter asked her to find a calculator in her bedroom while she was at school, and found what she originally thought were drugs instead.
Take a look at the funny text exchange that occurred between the mom and her daughter, Ashley, via Ashley's Twitter:
I really wish I had me some of those magic dinosaur capsules.
Or sometimes moms find this: Mom Finds Strange Toy On Son's Shower Wall And Shares Image On Twitter
Let it be known amongst all Indian jewelry store owners that the next time a monkey throws a guava into your store, just lock the door and hold a sign up against it that reads something like, "Hey thanks for the fruit, monkey." Otherwise, this could happen:
That's right, kids. A cheeky monkey in Guntur recently tricked a jewelry store owner into letting him into the store by throwing a guava inside. When the owner opened the door, the primate ran inside, eventually found the cash register and stole $144 before running out the wide-open door to freedom.
The owner's attempt to lure the monkey away from the money with a banana was a futile one, as it had already demonstrated by sacrificing the guava that food was of no importance to it. Plus, we're sure whoever trained it to steal cash from unsuspecting business owners probably had something better like a mango or Miller Lite waiting for it when it got back home.
Giving the finger to a monkey in India seems like a really good idea:Young Tourist Flips Off Monkey, Gets Drop Kicked By Monkey
I don't know what Guy Fieri is. All I know is that he has an extensive collection of bowling shirts, enjoys putting his sunglasses on the back of his head and, most importantly, doesn't care about his arteries. For years we've seen him stuff his face with garbage, and thanks to a video by YouTuber Mayor Wertz we can now see him do it to Johnny Cash's "Hurt."
How are you still alive, Guy?
And this is how he spends his day: A Day In The Life Of Guy Fieri
The Miss USA Pageant seems like it should be pretty low on the list of places to find answers to fix the ever-increasing gap between America's rich and poor. Yet, every year, some poor contestant seems to be put on the spot and asked to answer a question like that or solve some problem that even elected officials can't figure out.
This year's unlucky lady was Miss California USA, who was asked what the United States should do to narrow the gap between the rich and poor. Yeah, she didn't have the answer:
But to be honest, neither do we, so we're not going to sit here and crucify her for it like others did on Twitter shortly afterward:
The good news is that Miss California USA, who happens to be the daughter of the dude who sang "Rico Suave," isn't letting the moment get the best of her, as she's already joking about it on her Instagram page:
That's good to see, especially since it could have been much, much worse:
h/t New York Post
Thank you for leaving my kayak alone. Oh wait: Lady Has Meltdown As Bear Destroys Her Kayak
If you visit Joshua Kelly's holein1trickshots Instagram page, you can watch him juggle golf balls between his hands and club, hit a golf ball over his back and through a basketball hoop and drive the ball 310 yards.
While all of those are spectacular in their own right, they're chicken shit compared to his latest effort where he pops the cork off a bottle of champagne by hitting it with a golf ball:
And that, gentlemen, is why the attractive blonde is with him and not us. I mean, the night I met my wife, I did a trick at the bar that involved the mind and a few drink straws, but I'm pretty sure if he would have been there that evening, she would have gone home with him instead.
It's better to be lucky than good: Probably The Luckiest Half-Court Shot You Will Ever See
People don't like to have their time wasted, but if it's done in a funny fashion, it usually gets a pass. The following memes are essentially what I just said in a nutshell. Let's hope you aren't the easily agitated type.
Related: Impressive-Sounding Fake Facts To Use At Parties To Make Yourself Sound Interesting
We are sure our followers can't forget Mandatory model Candace Smith from her past sizzling shoots, but this summer she will heat up the television screen once again with the new WE television series "Million Dollar Matchmaker" premiering July 8 at 10 p.m. ET. Candace is the epitome of beauty and brains as a former Miss Ohio USA with both a psychology and law degree. In addition to being a life coach and relationship expert, she has excelled in all areas of the entertainment industry as a model, actress, TV personality and producer. (Photo credit: Kelly Fajack)
In "Million Dollar Matchmaker," Candace returns as love guru Patti Stanger's right-hand woman as they set up shop at Harrah's Resort Southern California. Each episode features two wealthy clients checking into the resort where they embark on their "love lesson," which are custom tailored challenges designed to tackle their problem areas. Patti delivers her no-nonsense tough love while Candace drops the sassy one-liners and sex appeal.
If that wasn't enough, you can also see Candace as the female lead of "My Father Die," an action thriller written and directed by Sean Brosnan and produced by Pierce Brosnan, Sanja Banjic and Orian Williams. This gritty feature film set in the South made its premiere at SXSW, received stellar reviews and will hit theaters in winter 2016. Candace, along with being a Mandatory favorite, is one of the hardest working women in the industry and always keeps it sexy. For proof of the latter, enjoy a couple more extremely hot Candace Smith photos below. (Photo credit: Kelly Fajack)
For more, visit Candace Smith's website.
Air Canada Flight 621 (July 5, 1970)
These were the last words of First Officer Donald Rowland. He was apologizing to Captain Peter Hamilton for a mistake. Their Douglas DC-8 aircraft smashed into a farm outside Brampton, Ontario at 253 miles per hour, killing all 109 people on board. Rowland deployed spoilers to reduce lift prematurely. One engine broke off from the wing, causing other parts of the wing to break off, too. They attempted to lift, but couldn't. It was the second-deadliest aviation disaster in Canada's history.
"Ma, I love you."
Pacific Southwest Airlines 182 (September 25, 1978)
In a freak accident that would cause the deaths of 137 people, a Cessna 172 and a Boeing 727 collided in the sky above San Diego. Witnesses say they heard a "loud metallic crunching sound." One of the two pilots of the Cessna, David Boswell, was wearing a hoodie. A report declared that this clothing malfunction caused a blind spot in Boswell's vision. At an altitude of 2,600 feet, the Cessna collided with the Boeing, causing heavy damage to its right wing. It fell to earth and landed in the neighborhood of North Park, also killing seven people on the ground and destroying 22 homes.
"Goodnight, goodbye, we perish!"
LOT Flight 5055 (May 9, 1987)
A flight to New York City's JFK Airport from Warsaw, Poland, would leave a "long scar" in the forest of a nature reserve that is still visible from the sky in 2016. In 1987, this plane's engine exploded, causing the deaths of 183 people. The bodies of 62 passengers are still unidentified even 29 years later because they were so badly dismembered.
"I rely on God."
EgyptAir Flight 990 (Halloween of 1999)
Revenge drove the killer. Relief First Officer Gamil el-Batouty was recently reprimanded for sexual misconduct. The man who reprimanded him, Chief of EgyptAir's Boeing 767 pilot group Hatem Rushdy, was also on the plane. Rushdy told el-Batouty that he would never again fly U.S. routes. And this angered el-Batouty. He dropped the Boeing 767 14,600 feet in 36 seconds. It hit international waters off the coast of Cairo, killing 217. El-Batouty repeated these final words eight times before the crash.
"That's it. I'm dead."
Surinam Airways 764 (June 7, 1989)
According to airline protocol, the 66-year-old captain was too old to fly. On a flight from Amsterdam to Surinam, he flew below the minimum altitude and tried to prematurely land. One of the plane's engines struck a tree. Out of the 187 passengers, 176 died, including 14 Dutch soccer players and their coach.
"Damn it, we're going to crash...it can't be true."
Air France Flight 447 (June 1, 2009)
The Airbus A330 plummeted 3 minutes and 30 seconds from 38,000 feet into the Atlantic Ocean. More than two years after the accident, the black box was recovered from the ocean floor where they discovered these final words. They blamed it on a technical glitch. The plane's pilot tubes were obstructed by ice crystals. The autopilot disengaged, and the crew reacted incorrectly. An aerodynamic stall caused the Airbus to go from 315 miles per hour to 60 miles per hour. During the free fall, it reached a speed of 175 miles per hour before hitting the water. A death count of 227 would be France's deadliest.
Also, moments before the crash, pilot Pierre-Cedric Bonin, 32, could be heard in the recording saying, "I don't have control of the plane. I don't have control at all."
"Amy, I love you."
Atlantic Southeast Airlines Flight 529 (August 21, 1995)
On a flight from Atlanta to Mississippi, the propeller of a small Embraer Brasilia aircraft died on the left engine, completely distorting the wing's profile. Occupants of the aircraft described hearing what sounded like a "baseball bat striking a trash can." Nine of the 29 passengers were killed when the plane careened into a field near Carrollton, Georgia. The speaker of these last words, 28-year-old Matt Warmerdam, survived, but his captain, Ed Gannaway, 45, died.
"That's all guys! Fuck!"
Vladivostok Air Flight 352 (July 4, 2001)
The third-deadliest crash in Russian history would happen in Irkutsk when the pilot lost control after violently pulling back on the control column. After the plane stalled, it fell to earth. All 145 passengers on board were killed.
"We got engine failure. We're not gonna make it. Full power."
Delta Air Lines Flight 1141 (August 31, 1988)
The flight lasted only 22 seconds. Upon takeoff, the right wing touched the ground and caused the aircraft to violently slide sideways. It left an 800-foot long streak of wreckage. There were 14 passengers who died, each via smoke inhalation. "Inadequate cockpit discipline" was one of the likely reasons proposed for the crash.
Vnukovo Airlines Flight 2801 (August 29, 1996)
In the deadliest aviation accident in Norwegian history, 141 people would die. Victims were mostly employees of a Russian state-owned mining company called Arktikugol, and they were being transported from Moscow. In what is perhaps the most excruciating detail of this incident, the crash was caused by a "language problem." The pilots couldn't communicate with the landing crew. The plane collided with the Norwegian mountain of Operafjellet, which it hit going 210 miles per hour.
"What? There's what? Some hills, isn't there?"
VASP Flight 168 (June 8, 1982)
The Captain was disoriented by the bright city lights of Fortaleza, Brazil. He was warned twice by the altitude alert system, but he wouldn't use it. He descended well-below the 5,000-foot clearance limit to 2,500 feet, crashing into a hillside and killing 137 passengers. If you can stomach it, here's the fuzzy recording.
"Open the goddamn door."
Germanwings Flight 9525 (March 24, 2015)
Andreas Lubitz was taking prescription drugs. Investigators found queries "ways to commit suicide" and "cockpit doors and their security provisions" on his tablet computer. After Pilot Patrick Sondheimer, the man who uttered these words, left for the toilet, Lubitz plunged 38,000 feet into the French Alps going 430 miles per hour. All 144 passengers instantly died.
Lubitz was hiding mental illness from Germanwings. He was declared "unfit to work" by a doctor. Lubitz himself believed he was going blind, which would end his career as a pilot, so he sought the only way out in his psychosomatic mind. Germanwings never had a fatal plane crash in its 18-year history until that day.
The only thing worse than a Monday is a Tuesday when there are absolutely no sports to watch other than baseball. I guess it could be worse, though. We could be the Cleveland Cavaliers. Fortunately we're not, and we get to enjoy hilarious photos from the Internet instead. Cheers to us!
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Let's open this up with one of the most famous celebrity spawn on the planet. The marriage of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes was tabloid fodder from the start, with rumors swirling that the Church of Scientology set it all up with a big payoff to give Cruise a biological heir. After young Suri was born in 2006 her life became a nonstop cavalcade of expensive gifts, pricey outfits and jet-setting trips. A $100,000 playhouse, over $3 million in clothes and other expenditures make her one of the most pampered tots in Hollywood. With her parents split, it's likely that Suri's going to be pulling in twice as much swag going forward.
Taking a kid to the store can be an exercise in frustration. They just don't realize that every shiny thing on the shelf costs money, which is in short supply. Unfortunately, British tween Chase McKenna may never have to learn that lesson. The shopaholic daughter of Kelly and Alan has her parents under her thumb, convincing them to live far outside their means so she can have a pony, a quadbike and a closet full of beauty pageant outfits. Meanwhile, the parents can't pay their bills or keep food in the fridge. The tale of the McKennas is a great example of parents sacrificing everything for their children and making them into spoiled, irredeemable brats along the way.
MTV's "My Super Sweet 16" was a perfect vehicle for meeting spoiled teenagers. When a girl becomes a woman (well, not legally, but you know), parents tend to shell out way too much cash. Texan Maya Henry, though, took things past the limits of good taste with her $6 million quinceañera. Her father is a personal injury lawyer who obviously isn't hurting, so he shelled out for performances by Pitbull and Nick Jonas, makeup from the Kardashian's face artist, a flotilla of Rolls-Royces accompanied by a police escort, and a 55,000-square-foot building constructed just for the event.
Part of parental responsibility is making sure your child has a roof over their head and food in their mouth until they turn 18 and can take care of themselves. But New Jersey teenager Rachel Canning decided to push the envelope on that one. When she moved in with a friend two days before her birthday, she expected Mom and Dad to keep paying her expenses, including private school tuition and $650 a month in child support. When they refused, she actually took her own parents to court to get them to pay up. Thankfully for all of us, a judge threw the case out and Canning eventually moved back home.
It's kind of funny that many of these incredibly spoiled kids are girls. I guess the fairer sex is just better at persuading their parents to spend. Brogan Mackay made headlines in 2009 for her profligate spending, which started when she was just an infant. For some idiotic reason, her parents (a plumbing supply salesman and a pharmacy tech) decked baby Brogan out in Dior and Burberry. As she grew up, the parents continued to give her anything she wanted, to a price tag of over $300,000 by the time she hit 11 years old. Brogan's story took a dark twist when her mother Alison was convicted of benefits fraud, swindling the British government by claiming welfare while she was working.
Blue Ivy Carter
When your parents are confirmed Illuminati, money is no object. And in 2012, Jay-Z even told the press that he was going to have "the most spoiled kid ever." But it's almost flabbergasting to tally up the amount of cash he and Beyonce spend on daughter Blue Ivy. Even at just a few days old, the press reported she'd received over $1.5 million in gifts including $800 shoes and a handmade acrylic crib that comes in at a little under $4000. For her second birthday, Jay bought Ivy a $75,000 purebred Arabian horse. It's only going to get worse, buddy. You'll feel nostalgic for those 99 problems.
It's pretty rare for a spoiled child to try and stop their parents from spending money, but that's what James Warren tried to do. Considered by many to be the most pampered kid in Britain, James was treated to everything his heart desired by his mother, from expensive cooking courses in Italy to designer clothes, which she claims were bought to "boost his self-esteem." Ornella Warren even serves her spoiled son a three-course dinner in bed every night. To add insult to injury, James's mother squeezes his zits for him before he heads out for a night on the town. That's just gross.
Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum
Let's throw in an adult child to illustrate that some people never grow up. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum is the crown prince of Dubai, one of the wealthiest nations on Earth, and he's happy to use his country's money to chase thrills, buy cars and otherwise enjoy himself in between publishing books of poetry. His mink-finished Mercedes with diamond accents is worth an estimated $4.8 million, and when he takes to the seas he cruises around in the world's largest yacht.
Isabella and Jacob Hill
Let's do a two-for-one here with the twin children of British reality TV star Dan Hill and wife Louise. When the couple had to go through an arduous in vitro fertilization procedure to get pregnant, it inspired Louise to raise her moppets in the most wasteful way imaginable. For the first 100 days of their lives, the twins never wore the same outfits twice. And these weren't discount bin onesies -- these babies were swaddled in Prada, Dior and Ralph Lauren while drinking out of $2300 milk bottles encrusted with Swarovski crystals.
What is it with British parents and insanely spoiled kids? Ockendon, Essex, teenager Paige Turpie proudly spends every penny from her mother's two jobs on clothes and makeup. She takes an hour and a half every morning to put her face on before school and throws a massive tantrum when any of her absurd requests are denied. Her mother, Amanda, was raised poor and is overcompensating with Paige to make up for it, although we can't see how this is exactly healthy behavior. No teenager needs to own 100 pairs of shoes. And of course, Paige thinks that she's owed a lifetime of fame when she grows up, like every other spoiled brat in the Instagram age.
Since a shitty movie and a bag of peanuts is all you have to lean on while you pray you can make it through your flight without having a panic attack, flight attendants can lean on the spacious, secret quarters that they have on that same plane you're flying on. I mean, look at how they are mocking their passengers.
It seems Boeing 777 and 787 airliners have a hidden stairway behind the cockpit that takes the crew to a secret room, where they can talk trash about us and our desire for a second bag of peanuts.
This is where the secret room resides. Right above us miserable folks.
And here's the secret staircase that's paid for with all your fees, probably.
There's even a sign that pretty much gives away there's a room only meant for crew.
Oh, look, it's better than your bedroom at home.
And even pilots get their own area, where they can read about current events they don't care about.
Up to 10 flight attendants can fit in a room. Look at these gals just talking about who they would fuck, marry and kill.
These beds are pretty close together, though.
So close that these signs remind crew that only one person is allowed in each bed. So much for airplane fantasies.
Some planes have bunkbeds, where you can reminisce when you had them with the sibling that you now hate so much.
But the personal beds are better. Look at that creep taking it all in.
And this room looks like the room in a science fiction movie where operations take place.
In conclusion, passengers are still overpaying for a shit experience.
Although maybe there's something under our kitchen: A Couple Found A Secret Safe Under Their Kitchen And The Contents Are Incredible
When the folks behind Twitter created it, I highly doubt they thought their billion dollar idea would be used for things like this, but unfortunately for them it is. While stories of high schoolers using Twitter to get dates with cheerleaders are nice, this story involves a penis, the White House and some retweets.
Twitter user Dan Chovy told his 4,000 plus followers that he would send a picture of his dick to President Obama (perhaps a farewell gift?) if he got 50 retweets. And not just any dick pic -- but a picture of his junk inserted into a decorative wine bottle holder.
50 RTs and I will buy this, put my dick in it, and email the picture to the White House pic.twitter.com/sB2fDIq0Na— danchovy (@danchovy) May 26, 2016
Dan got a hell of a lot more retweets than he asked for, so of course he did as he said he would.
Little does this guy know he's about to have a medium-sized cock in his mouth pic.twitter.com/AYJeugPdAi— danchovy (@danchovy) May 27, 2016
And if you needed further proof well here it is:
Shockingly, Obama has yet to respond:
In conclusion: please don't buy any decorative chef wine bottle holder you see on Craigslist today.
h/t The LAD Bible
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Even though we could have gone with Liam Neeson's hottest GIFs in honor of his birthday today, we decided to go with Emily Ratajkowski's instead. The Polish-American model turns 25 today, and while I'm sure she'll be getting a lot of gifts, she deserves them because she's been giving us gifts (and GIFs) for quite some time now. So check out some of her hottest below!
And now check out some of these: The 12 Hottest Megan Fox Gifs On The Internet