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Articles on this Page
- 06/07/16--09:50: _13 People Reveal Th...
- 06/07/16--10:47: _Hilarious TV-Edited...
- 06/07/16--11:57: _Kylie Jenner Announ...
- 06/07/16--12:19: _This Guy Wanted To ...
- 06/07/16--12:32: _The 'Hamilton' Porn...
- 06/07/16--13:38: _Bobby Brown Says He...
- 06/07/16--14:12: _Sperm Donor Thought...
- 06/07/16--15:08: _Drinking Beer Off B...
- 06/07/16--15:22: _Elizabeth Hurley Co...
- 06/08/16--03:53: _JFK Assassination T...
- 06/08/16--04:15: _Today's Funny Photos
- 06/08/16--05:50: _The Best And Worst ...
- 06/08/16--06:50: _10 Kids Who Are Pro...
- 06/08/16--07:50: _Being In A Tornado ...
- 06/08/16--08:08: _Axl Rose Wants Goog...
- 06/08/16--09:50: _15 Of The Biggest F...
- 06/08/16--11:57: _This Supercut Of Th...
- 06/08/16--12:01: _Porn Stars Reveal T...
- 06/08/16--12:06: _Epic Chair-Throwing...
- 06/08/16--12:17: _Weird News: Woman Q...
- 06/07/16--09:50: 13 People Reveal The Most Random Places They've Been Banned From
- 06/07/16--10:47: Hilarious TV-Edited Movie Lines Supercut (NSFW Language)
- 06/07/16--11:57: Kylie Jenner Announces When We'll Be Able To See Her Sex Tape
- 06/07/16--12:19: This Guy Wanted To See Just How Far He Could Take A TSA Bin
- 06/07/16--12:32: The 'Hamilton' Porn Parody 'Hamiltoe' Is Coming
- 06/07/16--13:38: Bobby Brown Says He Once Had Sex With A Ghost
- 06/07/16--15:08: Drinking Beer Off Boobs Is The New Summer Craze Everyone Can Enjoy
- 06/08/16--03:53: JFK Assassination Theories That Make Scary Sense
- 06/08/16--04:15: Today's Funny Photos
- 06/08/16--05:50: The Best And Worst Films Of Cameron Diaz
- 06/08/16--06:50: 10 Kids Who Are Probably Stronger Than You
- 06/08/16--07:50: Being In A Tornado vs. Having A Toddler
- 06/08/16--08:08: Axl Rose Wants Google To Remove The 'Fat Axl' Meme From The Internet
- 06/08/16--09:50: 15 Of The Biggest Fails In History
- 06/08/16--11:57: This Supercut Of The Sexiest Female Moments In Film Is Exactly That
- 06/08/16--12:06: Epic Chair-Throwing Brawl Breaks Out In Family Restaurant
- 06/08/16--12:17: Weird News: Woman Quits Job To Breastfeed Boyfriend Every Two Hours
I can't say I've ever been banned from any place but the men and women below can't really say the same, and that's because they unfortunately did something bad enough for someone to keep them out of their establishment permanently. And thanks to The Chive, we get to read all about them.
And sometimes governments get in on the fun: 14 Weird Things Governments Around The World Have Banned
The worst thing that can happen to a profanity-happy movie is being edited for television. Nothing good comes from that, and all that we are left with is a cringeworthy dub that makes no sense at all, and doesn't sound like anything any grown-up would ever say.
Check out some of the most hilarious movie lines edited for TV thanks to Funny Gyps:
"Freak you" to anyone who doesn't find this funny.
The WWE Tried Some Lip Dubs: Bad WWE Lip Dubs Really Tone Down The Intimidation Factor
It was a sex tape that jump-started this Kardashian hoopla we see today, so it's no surprise that there are rumors that another member of that family may have a sex tape. That member? Kylie Jenner. Kylie and Tyga may have spilt, but folks believe there is a sex tape featuring the two pillow-talking about which of the two is more useless. That's just one theory.
Kylie took to her Snapchat to tell the world just when we can all expect to see that tape:
Well, she hasn't confirmed the existence of the tape but she also hasn't denied it. In conclusion: you can all go back to ignoring anything else she says. In the meantime, enjoy some pics from her Instagram:
Kylie accomplished something: Kylie Jenner Somehow Kept Her Boobs In Her Jumpsuit On Snapchat
"After taking my shoes off at the airport, I decided I was going to walk this bin as far as possible, want to make TSA work..."
"It ended up on the plane with me, bound for Chicago!"
"The pilot asked me about it and found it hilarious, he also hates the TSA!"
"I'm almost home, we're almost free"
"This TSA bin is now serving as a sock drawer under my bed."
I guess that solves that. Enjoy your free bins, travelers!
Unfortunately, these theft stories don't always have a happy ending: Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Steals His Sunglasses
To both a computer screen near you and all over your face if you're not careful.
According to New York Magazine, the same porn website that brought us true classics such as "Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles," "Strokemon," "Donald Tramp" and "Bob's Boners" has really outdone itself this time with the announcement that a porn parody of the Broadway smash hit "Hamilton" titled "Hamiltoe" is in pre-production.
Written by comedian Eitan Levine at Elite Daily and directed by Lee Roy Meyers, "Hamiltoe" promises to be "revolutionary."
"It will be the first hip-hop porn musical spoofing a Broadway show, celebrating a historical figure. And it will have anal sex," Meyers said in a press release.
Only time will tell if "Hamiltoe" lives up to the other blockbuster porn parodies such as "Game of Bones: Winter is Cumming," "Gnardians of the Galaxy" and of course "WKRP in Cincinnati: A XXX Parody" that Meyers has been involved with. And mark your calendars, kids, as that time will be August 2016 on WoodRocket.com.
The adventures of Marty DickFly and Cock Brown: A 'Back To The Future' Porn Parody Is Finally Here And It Looks Hysterical
If you didn't already believe that crack is whack, a grown man admitting that he once penetrated a ghost should do the trick.
Former musician and crackhead Bobby Brown's new book titled "Every Little Step" doesn't hit store shelves until June 13, but you can catch a sneak peek of what's inside the covers thanks to an interview with ABC News' Robin Roberts for a special edition of "20/20" that airs tonight.
Brown not only discusses the first time he saw Whitney Houston do a line of snout candy on their wedding day, but he also apparently drops one hell of a story about the time he...wait for it...had sexual relations with a ghost.
"I bought this mansion in Georgia," Brown told Roberts. "This was a really, really spooky place. But yes, one time, I woke up and, yeah, a ghost — I was being mounted by a ghost. I wasn't high ... I was not trippin'."
Well then. We'll let Bill Lumbergh take it from here.
Even funnier than a former pop star/crackhead saying he plowed a ghost: The 43 Funniest Tweets About Sex Of All Time
Well, at least they caught the error after...let's see...36 kids were birthed. Oh dear.
According to MSN, two Vancouver families are suing an Atlanta-based sperm bank and their local fertility center after the vials of donor sperm they used to get pregnant that were thought to be from a genius with an IQ of 160 turned out to be from a convicted felon with mental health issues instead.
Three other families also sued Xytex Corporation in Atlanta earlier this year after saying they too were mislead about Donor #9623. Xytex's website allegedly said that along with an IQ of 160, the donor had an "impressive health history" as well as "a bachelor's degree and a master's degree." Plus, he was working toward a PhD in neuroscience engineering.
Well, much like a girl's Tinder profile pic, it turned out Donor #9623's resume was too good to be true. In fact, James Christian Aggeles ended up being pretty much the exact opposite of a neuroscience engineering genius.
In 2000, Aggeles was diagnosed with schizophrenia, narcissistic personality disorder, a drug-induced psychotic disorder and significant grandiose delusions. He also had zero degrees, not even one from ITT Tech, and had been arrested for "burglary, trespassing, driving under the influence and disorderly conduct."
The two Vancouver families suing Xytex this time around have also named Genesis Fertility Centre as a defendant in their lawsuits, with one of the women involved in the suit saying she was given six vials of sperm by Genesis from the same donor under the same "false misrepresentation."
At least one of the 36 children thought to have been fathered by Aggeles is said to be suffering from "significant mood disorders," although that's the same thing they said about me after Santa failed to deliver a Nintendo for Christmas in '88.
Chalk one up for the ugly guys: Study Shows Handsome Men Have Worse Sperm Than Ugly Guys
Move over, body shots. There's a new binge-drinking sheriff in town.
Here is a viral internet challenge that both males and females can partake in. However, unlike other challenges in the social media world, this is not really for any good cause -- just good old-fashioned FUN.
It's called #BOOBLUGE and it's pretty simple: You stick your face into a pairs of breasts and drink beer that is being poured onto those breasts. But, because many of you learn better by watching, here you go:
It's going to be a great summer. Long live #BOOBLUGE.
h/t The LAD Bible, photo via BroBible
How is English actress and model Elizabeth Hurley, star of the nearly two-decade-old comedy "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery," still turning heads at age 50? Well, her sunbathing photos on Instagram certainly aren't hurting the cause. She also seems not to have aged a day since her role as Vanessa Kensington all those years ago -- OK, so I haven't seen a lot of her other movies. But don't take my word for it; bare witness to Liz in all her topless beauty below.
Still not convinced? Of course you're convinced; she's a very attractive woman! But still, here are a few more of her sexiest Instagram posts for the road.
Related: Charisma Carpenter From 'Buffy' Is Still Slaying
For the past 53 years, the world has been fascinated with the death of John F. Kennedy. Some are labeled conspiracy nuts, while others are called sheep. In 2003, ABC News released a Gallup poll that found that 68 percent of Americans believe there was a cover-up. With the 99th birthday of JFK having taken place back in late May, we thought we'd explore a few popular theories and shed some light on what they mean.
The CIA planned it.
After Kennedy entered office, he developed quite a distaste for the Central Intelligence Agency. In private, he said that he wanted to "splinter the CIA into a thousand pieces and scatter it into the winds." Kennedy especially took umbrage with the CIA's engineering of the Bay of Pigs Invasion and the brutal torture and subsequent slaughter of Congo's first prime minister, Patrice Lumumba. The CIA didn't like that Kennedy didn't like them.
Interestingly, the head of the CIA at the time of the Bay of Pigs Invasion and the murder of Patrice Lumumba was Allen Dulles, who was a member of the Warren Commission that pronounced to the public the single-bullet theory claiming Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. As a renowned JFK conspiracy theorist whose knowledge is sought after by historians, reporters and producers, Dave Perry put it, "Supposedly, Kennedy was fed up with the shenanigans that the CIA was pulling. He found out the CIA was trying to kill Castro, which is a fact. So the argument is that the CIA felt that Kennedy was going to disband them. And as a result of that, they were the ones that ordered the killing of Kennedy."
As of this day, there are 3,600 documents housed in the U.S. National Archives related to the JFK assassination, 1,100 of which detail the CIA's involvement. These records will be made public in October 2017...or will they?
A man named Jack Lawrence fired the fatal shot.
If you've seen the Zapruder film (NSFW), you'll notice that two shots struck Kennedy. One from behind, through the neck, and the other from Kennedy's right, from below (the second shot blew his head up and to the left, suggesting that the bullet came from below and to the right). To the right of the motorcade 15 feet away was a storm drain. Many experts believe that from inside this storm drain came the second fatal blow.
Jack Lawrence, a 23-year-old ex-marksman, showed up at the local Lincoln-Mercury car dealership 15 minutes after the assassination, sweating, ghostly pale, with brown muck all over his pants. He puked in the toilet. Managers thought his behavior was suspicious, so they called the police. A report was filed, but strangely, it never materialized into evidence. Later, employees found the car that Lawrence took from the dealership parked behind a wooden fence overlooking Dealey Plaza. Lawrence had ties to some unsavory characters in the Dallas area, namely strip club owner Jack Ruby, but we'll get to him later.
The autopsy was a farce.
John Melvin Liggett was perhaps the country's greatest facial reconstruction surgeon. His work was used to repair the faces of people who died in gruesome incidents so that he could present the bodies to their loved ones in the funeral home where he worked. On November 22, 1963, his services were sorely needed.
On the day of the assassination, Liggett was attending a funeral. According to his wife, Lois, Liggett excused himself to take a phone call. "John went to the office and came back very shortly and explained to me that the President of the United States had been shot," she said. "He was called to go to Parkland Hospital."
Liggett called Lois from Parkland Hospital. "I've got a lot of work to do. Don't try to call me, I'll call you as soon as I can." Twenty-four hours later, Liggett came home in a panic, unshaven, disheveled and paranoid. He told the family to pack up their things and hop in the car for a "high-speed journey" to Austin and San Antonio.
While they were staying at a hotel in Corpus Christi, John and Lois were watching TV when they saw Jack Ruby famously shoot Oswald at point-blank range in front of police on live television. Lois, who was interviewed in the documentary "The Men Who Killed Kennedy" said, "The minute he saw that, he looked at me and said everything's OK now. And you could see his face. It was like all the pressure had been taken off of him."
Many believe that Liggett was hired to hide every bit of evidence under facial reconstruction techniques, repairing angles of bullet holes to make it seem like a lone gunman from one location did everything.
Once Liggett and his family arrived back to Dallas, his life had changed. He moved his family into a giant new house, and threw high-stakes poker games with bigwigs around town. On March 1974, 11 years later, John Melvin Liggett was arrested for murder. He also committed a string of murders in New Orleans. The man who was once a well-respected mortician and a gentle family man became a psycho overnight.
The man with the black umbrella.
On a bright, sunny day in Dallas, while everyone was dressed lightly, one man was dressed in a black raincoat with a black umbrella, standing ominously next to the fatal motorcade ride. Some believe this mysterious man was a signaler of sorts, there to communicate to snipers. So says investigator Josiah Thompson: "The only person under any umbrella in all of Dallas is standing right where the shots come into the limousine. Can anyone come up with a non-sinister explanation for this?" When the motorcade was drawing near, he opened his umbrella as a "go ahead." When the first shot didn't immediately kill Kennedy, he raised it to signal "fire a second round." In Oliver Stone's biopic "JFK," an umbrella man clad in black performs a similar act.
However, in 1978, Louie Steven Witt came forward and claimed to be the man. He testified that he was protesting against Jack Kennedy's support of British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain's Nazi-appeasement. Many have accepted Witt's claims, though one has to wonder why those signals were so convenient.
Witnesses saw numerous riflemen.
Civilians Arnold Rowland, Richard Randolph Carr, Lee Bowers, Amos Euins and Mary Moorman were in Dealey Plaza that day. They each claimed to witness shadowy men wielding rifles in the Texas School Book Depository and on the grassy knoll. Strangely, their testimonies were never taken seriously and they are now buried within the bowels of the internet.
JFK's perfect storm of enemies.
New York Times bestselling author Jim Marrs wrote "Crossfire" in 1989. It was the basis for Oliver Stone's "JFK." In this 600-page tome littered with the nitty-gritty details, he outlines Kennedy's conspirators and their possible motives:
• Kennedy wanted to take away the oil-depletion allowance, which was the No. 1 tax break for oil industrialists. This obviously incensed Texas oil billionaires, including Clinton Murchison, who hosted a dinner party with powerful men in Dallas the night before the shooting.
• Kennedy hated Lyndon Johnson; Lyndon Johnson hated Kennedy. Kennedy wanted to strip Vice President Johnson from his ticket in 1964 after Johnson's being embroiled in the Bobby Baker Scandal; at the aforementioned Clinton Murchison dinner party, which Johnson attended, Johnson's mistress Madeleine Duncan Brown said that Johnson came to her in a rage and said, "After tomorrow, those goddamn Kennedys will never embarrass me again. That's no threat. That's a promise."
LBJ sharing a wink with a friend while being sworn in, right after his boss was assassinated.
• Kennedy's younger brother, 32-year-old Robert Kennedy, was the attorney general. He was young and ambitious and he wanted to utterly destroy organized crime, which was rampant at the time. This, of course, created mobster enemies. Researchers believe some of the snipers, henchmen of Chicago don Sam Giancana, were members of the mafia.
• Kennedy wanted to rein in power of the Federal Reserve, issuing Executive Order 11110 only five months before his assassination, making enemies of banksters and powerful politicians.
• Kennedy wanted to completely withdraw from Vietnam by 1965, which might've provoked a feud with international powers profiting from the absence of northern communist influence.
What the hell is Woody Harrelson's dad doing here?
Woody Harrelson came to feature-film prominence after starring in 1993's "Natural Born Killers." Little do many know, his father, Charles Voyde Harrelson, was actually a natural-born killer. He was a hit man. Some researchers believe that he was present on that day in Dallas.
Harrelson confessed to killing Kennedy on May 29, 1979, during a six-hour shootout with police two years after killing U.S. District Judge John Wood in San Antonio. Although he later recanted his confession, blaming cocaine, he offered this piece of insight from his jail cell: "Do you believe Lee Harvey Oswald killed Kennedy...without any aid from a rogue agency of the U.S. government or at least a portion of that agency? I believe you're very naive if you do."
Charles Harrelson worked as a bouncer at Jack Ruby's strip club. The man who killed Lee Harvey Oswald and the man who fathered Woody Harrelson were pals.
If we were all named after something related to our butts, my name would be Harry Cheeks. What would yours be? Also, enjoy this amusing collection of photos from around the internet.
You can also follow us on Twitter and Instagram, y'all.
Yesterday's Funny Photos were pretty hilarious too, FYI.
More: Funny Photos Forever
No. 5 - "The Mask" (1994)
There she was in 1994, seemingly appearing out of thin air as the woman of our dreams. "The Mask" was Diaz's first big screen appearance and as Jim Carrey's love interest, his wild, FX-enhanced lunacy was sometimes still no match for our attention to her pure beauty in their shared scenes together. But she was much more than just a simple object of desire here. As he gesticulated up and down like a car lot's inflatable man and his animated eyes popped out of his angular green head, she kept up the pace with him, showcasing her own confidence and comedy skills without any trace of CGI.
No. 4 - "My Best Friend's Wedding" (1997)
In "My Best Friend's Wedding," Diaz took on one of romcom's greatest threats -- Julia Roberts -- and bested her. Though that outcome was dictated by the script, it is still not normally easy to shine under Roberts' insurmountable A-List glimmer. But Diaz surmounted and was equally responsible for the appeal of the film. Her eyes never seemed bluer, and when the closing credits rolled, it was clear to America -- and beyond -- that there was an new sweetheart in town.
No. 3 - "Shrek" (2001)
Historically, Disney's fairest animated princesses -- though noble heroines all -- needed a man -- usually a prince -- to save them from distress. Diaz flipped the script on that narrative as the voice of Princess Fiona in the DreamWorks sensation "Shrek." She didn't need some guy, or ogre in this case, to dictate her destiny. She took on her kingdom's denizens on her own terms, even teaching Robin Hood himself a thing or two in battle. Fiona may be living a fairy tale life, but her mind, body, soul and spirit come from another playbook entirely.
No. 2 - "Being John Malkovich" (1999)
A gutsy choice of role not because she had to ugly herself up with a frizzy brunette wig, but because this was a high-minded, brainteaser of a comedy requiring capable actors to pull it off. And in doing so, Diaz further proved that she was indeed a talent to be reckoned with. Movies with inspired surprises like "Being John Malkovich" come around very infrequently and leave lasting impressions way beyond the 15 minutes a magic portal can let you ride along inside an award-winning actor's head. Diaz's performance got inside all our heads in truly inspiring and surprising ways.
No. 1 - "There's Something About Mary" (1998)
With all the uproarious gross-out humor careening around her, what audiences of this comedy classic were left with most was an awareness that there was something about Cameron. She'd been a leading lady before, but here she was large and in charge, and clearly capable of leading a gaggle of dopey dudes -- a Super Bowl champion included -- to fall all over each other hoping to be the first to settle at her feet. Not an easy task for any actress, but Diaz made it look like it in her best film ever. Mary was the kind of girl we all wanted to take home to mother, even with her hair stuck straight up with a palmful of semen.
No. 5 - "The Green Hornet" (2011)
To believe Seth Rogen and Cameron Diaz could lift one of early radio's most revered superheroes onto film with innovation and cogency, one must be smoking something green. Instead, we got glossy, lifeless action sequences with sarcastic dialogue and big name talent that cannot compare to the compelling pictureless serials that drifted from a Philco's speakers into the eager ears of our forebears. By dishonoring the franchise's storied history with a modern-day squall of unimaginative nonsense, it's little wonder that most of the onscreen cast are wearing masks.
No. 4 - "Knight and Day" (2010)
Here's the incredibly tired premise: the life of an unsuspecting bystander is upended by a rogue spy being pursued by enemies on both sides of the law and quickly becomes an able accomplice in daring escapes and retaliation. This also marks Diaz and Tom Cruise's second onscreen pairing. Lots of bullets, kidnappings, and plane, train and automobile chases form the building blocks of what is sure to be a long-lasting romantic relationship for the duo. Audiences were not exactly delighted by "Knight and Day," but the fact that Cruise still gets the girl after rendering her unconscious at least three times throughout the film with drugs probably did win over Bill Cosby.
No. 3 - "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" (2003)
There is an open debate about whether one would be given a second chance at salvation, often among pious men who first need to be pried off an altar boy to bring such a debate to its proper conclusion. The 2000 film "Charlie's Angels" was a lot like hell, perhaps only confused by the amiable presence of Matt LeBlanc. And though there was nothing heavenly about this muddled mess of a chick action flick besmirching the good name of its campy, jiggly '70s source, somehow the movie gods gave it a second chance. That chance was a sequel called "Full Throttle," filled with even more speed to launch itself off into the abyss.
No. 2 - "Annie" (2014)
Carol Burnett, film's first Miss Hannigan, does indeed leave big shoes to fill. Luckily for Cameron Diaz, this remake is so bad, it's easy to forget how blatantly the younger actress' feet are left swimming in the legendary comedienne's ample pumps. Diaz doesn't quite sing the songs in this musical and doesn't quite dance in the confusingly edited numbers. Her stardom is all that shines in this blundering "Annie," where the sun never seems to come out during any period of time in particular.
No. 1 - "What Happens in Vegas" (2008)
Overused Hollywood conventions like a double-booked room, an impulsive drunken marriage and shared claims to a casino jackpot are heaped on top of each other here like a teetering tower of Cirque du Soleil freaks and coalesce to form Cameron Diaz's worst film of all. As haters transitioning to lovers within a romcom's requisite 90 minutes, Diaz and Ashton Kutcher are both so damn attractive that they practically diffuse a glare onto the screen. In fact, they're almost distracting enough to make us believe that what's happening beneath is all clever stuff. But not quite. What's left is something we wish would stay in Vegas. In the trunk of our car. Or in the recycle bin. Anywhere but in plain sight.
As the most populous country on Earth, China has a vast range of human body types. And they're not shy about pushing kids to meet their physical potential early on. Meet Yang Jinlong, who made headlines in 2012 when he was photographed towing the family car with his bare hands. The massive Jinlong weighed over 110 pounds at just seven years old and could perform astounding feats of strength like giving his own father a piggyback ride, and hauling around huge sacks of wheat. As he ages, he's just getting bigger and stronger. You don't want to know how much he eats.
How many pull-ups do you think you could crack off before you had to let go of the bar? We're confident that we could probably get into the low triple digits with extreme pain and spend the next week or so on ice. But Virginia high school junior Andrew Shapiro smashed through a trio of Guinness World Records by doing a flabbergasting 7,306 in the course of 18 hours. Inspired by the TV show "American Ninja Warrior," Shapiro began pursuing fitness in hopes of securing a spot on the show. He trained for the record by doing six pull-ups every minute for six hours straight while watching TV.
Physical fitness runs in the family -- it's a proven fact that kids exposed to parents who regularly exercise grow up to be adults who work out more. So when Jake Schellenschlager saw his dad lifting weights, it inspired him to get into the sport himself at the age of 11. The results were nothing less than incredible. Schellenschlager was deadlifting 400 pounds at the tender age of 15, and he's set a life goal of deadlifting four times his body weight. He's built all that muscle with an individualized gym plan that focuses on a single muscle group a day, coupled with a high-protein diet low in refined sugars and carbohydrates. If he keeps improving at the level he has, this kid could be one of the all-time greats.
Naomi Kutin isn't your typical powerlifter. For one, she's a 14-year-old Jewish girl. But the pint-sized Hercules is one of the sport's most promising athletes, setting her first world record at the age of nine. She continued to push her limits year after year, and the next year she shocked observers by squatting 215 pounds, breaking the last record which was set by a 44-year-old European woman. Kutin got into powerlifting when she wanted to find something that her other friends couldn't do, and the very competitive young lady intends to keep getting swole for the forseeable future.
The idea of a fourth-grader making his own workout DVD is absurd, but when you look at the insane muscle definition that Georgia's own C.J. Senter has managed to get, things start to make a little more sense. When his pee-wee football coach told C.J. and his teammates to start working out at home, he took to it like a duck to water. C.J. was a physical prodigy even as a baby, crawling out of his crib when he was just seven months old, and he's building his muscles in a smart way. It's not recommended that youngsters start weight training until 15, so C.J. uses only his own body weight in his workout routines.
With kids getting bit by the fitness bug at a younger and younger age, it's not surprising that many of them are shattering existing world records. In 2015, 10-year-old Jack Butler became the fastest person in his age group to ever complete a half marathon, notching up a sweet 1:31:08. That works out to just under seven minutes a mile for 13.1 miles. The fifth grader started running with his mom a few years earlier, at first keeping pace with her on his bike. Now he covers distance way faster than she does, despite his legs being much shorter. Butler's smart about his training, replacing shoes when they hit 350 miles and making sure not to overdo it.
Widely regarded as the greatest British female powerlifter of all time, Rebekah Tiler started competing at the age of 15 and smashed over 100 different records in her age group. Now that she's on the cusp of adulthood, she is already the youngest weightlifter to win a senior women's British title, and people are already predicting that she's one to watch at the 2016 Rio Olympics. Her father Chris was a bodybuilder as well, and Rebekah was a gym rat at a very young age. When funding was cut for sports programs in her area, a local butcher offered to "sponsor her in meat" providing all of the protein she needed to build her magnificent muscle.
Sit-ups are torture. Everybody can do a few without much hassle, but as you crunch away those abdominal muscles start to burn until eventually the pain is intolerable. Nobody told 10-year-old Kyleigh Bass that, and she just set the national record for the most sit-ups performed in 90 minutes with a terrifying 2,110. Bass trained for six months to beat the record, working with a gymnastics coach to push her core strength to insane levels for a pre-teen. With her mother holding her feet, Bass took to the mat and powered through to the record, knowing that if she stopped for even a second to rest she probably wouldn't be able to start again.
There's something about Romania that breeds insanely muscular pre-teens. At nine years old, Giuliano Stroe was training for two hours every day to get his body as ripped as any grown-up we've ever seen. In 2009, he earned a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records for performing the fastest ever 10 meter hand-walk with a weighted ball between his legs. He also holds the record for most 90 degree push-ups. If you're like us, you have no idea what a 90 degree push-up is, so get this: it's a push-up where you keep your feet off the ground the whole time, never touching with anything but your hands. Giuliano can do 40 of them. Oh, and he has a little brother named Claudiu who's also insanely cut.
Currently regarded as the single strongest teenage girl in the world, Russian Maryana Naumova seems pretty ordinary from her Instagram -- lots of selfies, lots of pink. But when you watch her bench 375 pounds, you realize that this is no ordinary teen. Naumova is the first female under 18 ever given special permission to participate in professional powerlifting tournaments, and at the Arnold Classic she set a board bench record at 331 pounds. In her spare time she goes on humanitarian missions to war-torn regions like Syria, North Korea and the Ukraine, so not only is she stronger than you but she's also nicer. Damn, girl.
If you've ever experienced a tornado, you know you only have moments to prepare. It's terrifying and changes your life forever. You'd think having nine months to prepare for a baby would make a big difference, but if you've experienced both you probably quickly realized the two are much more similar than you had ever anticipated. Here's a look at what it's like being in a tornado compared to what it's like raising your very own toddler.
Related: An Average Saturday Morning: With Kids vs. Without Kids
Someone tell Axl Rose how the internet works, please.
While Axl has been busy fronting AC/DC, as well as getting back with his own band to tour, there seems to be something that's been bothering him for a while: memes featuring the heavier version of him known as "Fat Axl." Axl has been so annoyed by the internet's antics that he has submitted a DMCA takedown notice to Google in hopes that the meme and photo are gone from the internet forever.
Something tells me he won't be successful in his mission, but just in case take one "last" look at all those memes that are driving him mad thanks to imgur:
Good luck, Axl, on your mission to defeat the internet.
h/t Bro Bible
You're in good company, Axl: The 9 Greatest Fat Rockers Of All Time
We've all failed at some point in our lives, but chances are that all of our failures won't go down in history as the biggest blunders and most boneheaded things to ever occur. Unfortunately, not everyone can say the same, as the fails below will never be forgotten, as some altered history while others just reminded everyone how dumb people can be. Check out 15 of the biggest fails of all time.
And we won't forget these anytime soon: History's 10 Biggest Security Fails
If you work in an office setting, you might want to draw the shades or book a private conference room for the latest supercut from Robert Jones. We're not insinuating that you'll want to do dirty things to yourself while watching it (you're at freaking work, dude!). All we're saying is that it's a pretty steamy video that's right on the cusp of NSFW. Oh, and did we mention that it's also one of the sexiest movie moments montages ever? That's kind of its main appeal.
Related: The Perviest Moments in Sports Broadcasting: The Supercut
Porn stars are open books, so the majority of them don't mind sitting down and answering some very personal questions since we've seen every angle of them possible already. So while we've heard porn stars share the most extreme sex scenes they've ever done, as well as the kinkiest stuff they've ever done, Wood Rocket is here with another dandy.
Check out the strangest things that porn stars like Charlotte Cross, Dava Foxx, Leah Gotti and others have masturbated with.
Well, at least they're getting the fruit and vegetable intake the doc recommends.
These gals are filled with information: Porn Stars Reveal The Secret To The Perfect Handjob
Not much is known about an epic brawl featuring chair throws, headlocks and impressive punches to the dome other than that it took place earlier this week in a family restaurant in Barbados. It was uploaded to LiveLeak by "Uncle Neck Cutter," who sounds like the kind of uncle you just say "thanks" to when he gives you a gift, even when that gift is literally a plastic bag filled with dog shit.
No word as to what started the fight, but we heard the cou-cou with flying fish was to die for. Maybe literally.
Nothing was getting between this dude and his pie: This Guy Refused To Let A Restaurant Brawl Stop Him From Stuffing His Face With Pizza
Let me first start off by apologizing to all the teachers who worked hard to make sure I made something of my life. OK, now that that is out of the way, let's talk about a gal who is fine with breastfeeding her boyfriend.
Jennifer Mulford is a 36-year-old who actually quit her job as a bartender in order to breastfeed her high school sweetheart, Brad Leeson. And she does it every two hours. And if you aren't sick yet, Mulford pumps into bottles if he isn't around so that Leeson can have a bottle or two while watching some sports like a totally normal dude, probably.
This is apparently called an Adult Breastfeeding Relationship, and focuses on saving money on store bought milk (maybe?). Mulford is all for this relationship, but says she draws the line at public breastfeeding. I'm just shocked there's a line. Here's a feeding in action:
"He (Leeson) is a real alpha male but behind closed doors this relationship lets him put his guard down, be submissive and allow himself to be loved 100 percent," Mulford tells The Sun. And if you're wondering, Mulford and her boyfriend have no plans to stop doing this:
"This is a lifestyle we have chosen. We look forward to years from now still needing and wanting each other," Mulford says. "I can come home from a very stressful day and seconds after Brad latching on I feel a sense of peace and calm. For that time I feel like we become one. I have yet to feel anything more comforting. It's a bond that no one can come between."
I mean, that's good that they're both happy, but damn, Brad, couldn't you have just latched on to a bottle of whiskey to deal with stuff like the rest of us?
Maybe it's common: The Only Video You Ever Need To Watch About Breastfeeding