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    Well, at least now we know what Santa Claus would look like if he ate plates full of steroids instead of cookies.

    J.K. Simmons won an Oscar last year for his big mouth in "Whiplash," but it's his big guns that are wrecking everybody's panties these days.

    The 61-year-old actor has teamed up with Dwayne Johnson's fitness trainer Aaron Williamson so he can get absolutely shredded for his role as Commissioner Gordon in Zack Snyder's "Justice League," which is scheduled to hit theaters next year.

    Um, by the looks of things, we're pretty confident in saying that he's ready to go. Take a look at the picture Williamson posted on his Instagram:


    It's a good thing that Simmons waited until "Whiplash" had finished filming before getting that swollen. Otherwise, Miles Teller's face might have fallen off.

    h/t Pedestrian

    Simmons would be considered unattractive in Australia: The Ideal Male Body Is Not A Six-Pack And Muscles In Many Countries

     

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    Geez. How potent were those oysters?

    A video of a major player in China who sprung for the private booth in a restaurant is making the rounds on the internet again, probably because it features him taking a young lady to pound town on the same table where they just finished eating their main course.

    You see, the private booth had a wall of frosted glass that separated the horny couple from the rest of the patrons. And while it made it very difficult for those patrons to see exactly what was going down on the other side of it, well, let's just say they were able to see enough:


    No word on what he left the waitress for a tip, but we'll venture a guess that it wasn't the same one he gave to his date.

    And while sexual intercourse in a restaurant really doesn't seem like the most sanitary thing in the world, let's be honest: It could have been much worse if the dude would have decided to pull out.

    h/t LiveLeak

    Crack is still whack: Bobby Brown Says He Once Had Sex With A Ghost

     

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    Rapper Iggy Azalea just turned 26 yesterday, so why was she the one giving out presents on Instagram? OK, she wasn't actually physically giving anything away, but some dudes might consider this photo of her glistening buttocks in the sunshine a gift of sorts. Even if you don't, it's still worth a peek.

    A photo posted by Iggy Azalea (@thenewclassic) on


    Now, you might be asking yourself, "What was the whole 'boat-dacious' thing in that headline all about?" Well, the answer is simple and, in hindsight, pretty corny: Iggy took more than one photo on her big day, both of which involve her sunbathing on a boat. Check out the remaining duo of sexy shots below.

    A photo posted by Iggy Azalea (@thenewclassic) on



    A photo posted by Iggy Azalea (@thenewclassic) on


    Related: Iggy Azalea Goes Topless For Remix Magazine

     

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  • 06/09/16--04:02: Today's Funny Photos
  • It's true that some days start off better than others, but if you don't start each and every day by looking through our funny photos, you are making it unnecessarily worse for yourself. So don't do that. Scroll down, have some laughs, and make this day a great one.

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz
    Follow us on Twitter and Instagram.

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz
    Hey, yesterday's Funny Photos were pretty rad, too.

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz
    More: Funny Photos 4 Eva

     

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    Not since the '70s have things been so freaky. When it comes to getting all freaky naughty, there are some people that, of course, take things a little too far. As far as porn categories that will make you quit the internet, we have a few paraphiliacs (people into weird shit) that might send your freak meter into overdrive.

    Looner
    Freaky Sexual Fetishes You Never Thought Possible
    A person sexually attracted to balloons. Subsets include "poppers" who get off on watching balloons pop, and "non-poppers" who are aroused by watching a balloon get blown up.

    Melissaphile
    Freaky Sexual Fetishes You Never Thought Possible
    A person sexually attracted to bees, wasps and stinging insects. Someone totally misinterpreted the whole "bird and the bees" talk. Similarly, a formicophile is a person sexually attracted to insects crawling on one's body, mostly the genitals, of course.

    Eproctophile
    Freaky Sexual Fetishes You Never Thought Possible
    A person sexually attracted to farts. Cake farts, similarly, involve people who are attracted to girls who sit in cake and then fart. Klismaphile refers to a person sexually attracted to enemas, better known as poo water. In the same family are the coprophiles, who are attracted to shit. They're the new Cleveland Steamers.

    Xylophile
    Freaky Sexual Fetishes You Never Thought Possible
    Ever wonder who got the ball(s) rolling on "wood" being a sexual reference? It's possible it came from a xylophile, a person attracted to wood. Maybe those lumberjacks aren't so lonely out in the forest after all. A dendrophile, too, is a bit of a tree hugger.

    Trichophile
    Freaky Sexual Fetishes You Never Thought Possible
    A person sexually attracted to haircuts and hair washing. It's like an X-rated ending for "Rapunzel."

    Ursusagalmatophile
    Freaky Sexual Fetishes You Never Thought Possible
    A plushophile (sexually attracted to stuffed animals) who tends to make "modifications" to satisfy such a sexual fetish. This is taking furries, people who like to dress up as stuffed animals and have sex, to a frightful new place.

    Agalmatophile
    Freaky Sexual Fetishes You Never Thought Possible
    A person sexually attracted to statues or nonliving mannequin types, which is understandable if you have the most high-tech version of a sex doll. A hierophile is someone attracted specifically to religious or sacred statues. How's that for awkward reasons not to go to church?

    Yeastiality
    Freaky Sexual Fetishes You Never Thought Possible
    The attraction to yeast-risen foods, mainly sweets and pastries. We're aware people have a weakness for donuts, but never have we seen this on a late night Yum Yums run.

    Gerontophile
    Freaky Sexual Fetishes You Never Thought Possible
    A person sexually attracted to grandmothers with a motive for revenge. Granny effing? Say it ain't so!

    Emetophile
    Freaky Sexual Fetishes You Never Thought Possible
    A person sexually aroused by vomit, or what is commonly referred to as a Roman shower. Some people get sick watching others get sick, but never did getting aroused ever occur....until now!

     

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    Where would you be without your dear old dad? If the answer is jail or someplace only slightly better than jail, then you should probably get your father something for Father's Day, which is right around the corner on June 19. We've got some fantastic gift ideas below to help you out, and no matter what kind of dad you have, we're sure he's the best. So he deserves some of the best stuff below.

    CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES

    "Dynamic Stretch" Denim Jeans From Mott & Bow

    stretch denim jeans, mott and bow jeans
    If your dad is anything like mine, he values comfort above all else. However, you can't let Dad go anywhere he pleases in sweatpants. Well, these are jeans that feel like sweatpants, but retain all the qualities you'd expect of premium denim. They're really soft and have a 35 percent stretch factor. You feel the difference when you wear them, but no one can see the difference. Dad will love them. ($118)


    Italian Made Footwear From M.Gemi
    m.gemi the salotto, the pranzo shoes, italian made luxury shoes
    Every good man deserves a pair of Italian shoes. Your father is a good man. I think you see where we're going here. Founded in 2015 and offering expertly designed, Italian-made footwear, M.Gemi is pioneering the new category of postluxury, direct-to-consumer footwear.

    The seasonal collection includes traditional dress styles like oxfords and loafers, as well as a casual selection of driving moccasins, boat shoes, white-bottom sneakers and more. (Priced between $198 and $278)


    Foot Cardigan Socks
    2016 father's day gift guide, foot cardigan socks
    To recommend getting your dad a pair of boring socks for his special day would be ludicrous. Luckily for him, Foot Cardigan is so much more than that. With a wide selection of Father's Day-themed socks featuring hammers, ratchets, screwdrivers and even grooming tools, you'd be wise to order now before some of the limited editions are out of sock for good (and yes, that typo was meant as a pun). (subscriptions starting at $9 a month)


    "Watch Your Wellness" With Philip Stein's Line Of Watches
    philip stein watches, father's day gift guide
    If you've bought your dad a tie for the past five Father's Days and want to switch it up this year, you can never go wrong with a durable, yet stylish watch. Whether dad's the sporty type or leans more classic, prefers a pop of color or goes more vintage, luxury accessories brand Phillip Stein offers a variety of unique styles that will match his own unique personal style. Dad will also benefit from the Natural Frequency Technology (NFT) featured in every Philip Stein watch. Research studies suggest that subjects wearing Philip Stein watches may experience reduced stress, more restful sleep, and increased wellness.


    EyeBuyDirect Eyeglasses and Sunglasses
    2016 father's day gift guide, eyebuydirect eyeglasses
    EyeBuyDirect products are more than meet the eye. With that lame joke out of the way, here's what actually separates them from the pack. Along with a seemingly endless array of styles that are sure to fit the high demands of any father, hip dads who spend most of their time online or even playing video games might opt to upgrade to Digital Protection Lenses to prolong the use of their ever dwindling eyesight. (starting at just $6!)


    GEAR

    Penny Skateboards
    2016 father's day gift guide, penny skateboards
    You may remember us singing the praises of Penny Skateboards last December, and that's because they're the perfect board for anyone starting out...including dear old dad. Having just released their 2016 collection featuring the boldest and brightest designs to date (in both the 22" and 27" variety), they're an affordable and fun way to connect with your pops on a whole new level. ($99.99-139.99)


    The American Soap And Hatchet Set From Duke Cannon
    american soap and hatchet set, duke cannon gear
    This kit provides men all the supplies they need to get stuff done. In addition, it provides some awesome tools that all dads would be happy to own, including a survival hatchet for camping trips, two Big Ass Bricks of Soap, Tactical Soap on a Rope, Heavy Duty Hand Soap, Bloody Knuckles Hand Repair Balm, Cannon Balm Tactical Lip Protectant and a steel bottle opener. All Duke Cannon items and the survival hatchet are made in the USA. The kit comes packaged in an old military ammo can completing one of the most kick-ass gifts any dad can receive this summer. ($175)


    Cannondale Catalyst 1
    cannondale catalyst 1, father's day gift guide
    Fire up your father's lifelong love of cycling with a bicycle that's ready for anything, from street to singletrack, with a Catalyst. Its lightweight aluminum frame, sporty riding position and wide-range gearing means the Catalyst is ready for anything, and dads are always up for anything, right? ($705)


    "Little Victories: A Sportswriter's Notes On Winning At Life" By Jason Gay
    jason gay little victories book, little victories paperback
    All dads take pride in being a good family man. Many dads love sports. Some dads like to read. Very few will admit to taking advice. However, this book, the hilarious debut of Wall Street Journal writer Jason Gay, embarks on a comic journey through family and fatherhood, sickness and health, heartbreak and joy. Your dad will appreciate a quality book like this. (Now available in paperback, $14.95 or less)


    M5 e-Scooter From EcoReco
    ecoreco electric scooter, M5 e-scooter
    Okay, now forget about giving your dad a book for Father's Day. Give him an awesome electric scooter instead (or get him both). M5 is the mainstream EcoReco model to lead your pops into the new era of personal transportation. Designed for adults, it's made for riders who have rough terrain on their daily routes, demand versatility or simply won't settle for anything but the best ride quality. And it's fun as hell. ($1,099)

    More: Does Your Dad Like Hot Sauce?

     

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    It's nice to know that some restaurants take your concerns seriously, especially when it comes to your health and well-being. This Chinese food receipt shows that one restaurant in particular is especially cautious of customers' allergies. You might even say they are really f--king cautious.

    chinese restaurant shrimp allergy receipt
    Still probably wouldn't hurt to tip them well. They did sorta just save your life.

    (via Memewhore)

    Related: The Most Hilarious Receipts You'll Ever Get to See

     

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    Shaving is a drag. That's why if I was capable of growing facial hair like an adult I would hate it, and it seems that was the case with one woman who grew so tired of daily shaving she opted to go with a full beard instead.

    Oregon Woman Gives Up Shaving, Grows Full Beard

    Pictures via Facebook

    Rose Geil first noticed her excess hair when she was 13 years old, and that led to her shaving every single day. Geil also plucked and underwent pricey laser procedures. But Geil grew tired of doing all that for over 20 years, and now she has just let her beard run rampant.

    "Growing my beard has made me more confident," the 39-year-old tells Daily Mail. "I feel pretty with my beard, and I never felt pretty before. It feels amazing being me."

    Oregon Woman Gives Up Shaving, Grows Full Beard
    Geil found herself wearing long sleeves and high turtlenecks in order to hide the excess body hair she had as well, so that she could maintain relationships with men.

    "Revealing my body hair in any relationship was of course very scary and difficult and I was lucky enough and had some understanding partners in my early twenties," Geil reveals. "It was more of an issue for me just being self conscious and worrying about revealing myself and facing rejection."

    Oregon Woman Gives Up Shaving, Grows Full Beard
    It took Geil six weeks to grow a full beard, but it didn't come without its ups and downs: "Growing my beard was an incredible experience. It was very difficult, daily emotionally and physically in the beginning because it was very uncomfortable, itchy and crawly. I had to fight the urge to shave."

    Geil is now getting more attention than ever from men: "Some of them get a little carried away, marriage proposals, offering plane tickets to come visit, inappropriate pictures you name it," Geil says.

    Oregon Woman Gives Up Shaving, Grows Full Beard
    "I definitely feel womanly, sexy and sensuous. I feel more feminine and it has very little to do with my appearance; it comes from my attitude and giving myself the freedom to be who I am...I've finally accepted the real me."

    Geil hasn't been officially diagnosed, but she believes her hairiness is due to a combination of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and genetics.

    So what does it mean? What Your Facial Hair Says About You

     

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    All actors are grossly overpaid. And I honestly don't understand why. The fact that an actual doctor is payed less than a person playing a doctor on film makes absolutely no sense to me. As evidenced by this list I provide below, some actors far out-earn others, even if box office dollars don't reflect the investment. Thanks to Forbes' annual list of overpaid actors, we're able to see who earns way more cash than they're worth.

    Of the actors included in the 2014 and 2015 lists, only one was female, and many are actually repeat offenders. Likewise, most of the actors included also happen to be royal douchebags. I'm sure this is no coincidence.

    So, if you want to see a list of actors who aren't worth your hard-earned money, take a look at the actors below and don't give them another cent.

    1. Johnny Depp
    These 10 Actors Make Way More Money Than They're Worth
    Depp, the once-respected actor, has been making many bad decisions of late. This includes the alleged abuse claims against him from estranged wife Amber Heard. To assist in proving my point concerning his piss-poor choices in film, I feel that all I have to do is list his latest movies: "Alice Through The Looking Glass," "Black Mass," "Mortdecai," "Lucky Them," "Into The Woods" and "Transcendence." See what I mean?

    Of these six films, three received less than 20 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. And, according to Forbes, who elected him 2015's most overpaid actor (he was on 2014's list as well), Depp's return on investment is a mere $1.20 on every dollar paid (for perspective, Mila Kunis's ROI was $68.70 in 2014 on every dollar).

    2. Will Ferrell
    These 10 Actors Make Way More Money Than They're Worth
    Ferrell's best films are behind him, and with each new release, he proves this fact over and over again. It's not that Ferrell's films don't make money, because they do; the profits are just minuscule when Ferrell's whopping pay checks are taken into account, as he out-earns most -- if not all -- comedians currently in film. Estimates say his paychecks are roughly $20 million per movie, which is nearly half of the budget for most comedies. Forbes claims return on investment in 2015 was $6.80 for every dollar made.

    3. Liam Neeson
    These 10 Actors Make Way More Money Than They're Worth
    The diverse actor (sarcasm) made a name for himself while saving his useless family not once, not twice, but three times in the "Taken" trilogy. All three of these films saw profits, but the other movies he's starred in since -- that were all essentially "Taken" but with different titles: "A Walk Among The Tombstones" and "Run All Night" -- didn't perform nearly as well. In fact, these latter films had very modest budgets of roughly $50 million, meaning Neeson's paycheck ate up most of it. Forbes' return on investment sees Neeson at $7.20 for every dollar paid.

    4. Adam Sandler
    These 10 Actors Make Way More Money Than They're Worth
    I'm sure this comes as a surprise to no one. While he didn't make Forbes' 2015 list, there's no way I will let Sandler get away with his god-awful films that he has yet to make up for (this coming from a guy who actually kind of liked "Jack and Jill").

    In 2014, Sandler's return on investment was $3.20 for every dollar paid. Which is really, really bad. Since then, he's released "The Do-Over," "Pixels", and "The Cobbler," each of which earned seven percent, 17 percent and nine percent respectively on Rotten Tomatoes. "The Ridiculous Six" earned an unheard of 0 percent. And rightfully so. That movie was horrible. Taylor Lautner especially.

    5. Channing Tatum
    These 10 Actors Make Way More Money Than They're Worth
    I have to admit, it's nice to see this guy not succeed at something. He's too beautiful. Actually, Tatum was on both the 2014 and 2015 list of top overpaid actors, but we'll go with his better and more recent year, 2015. To be fair, "Magic Mike XXL" came out too late to be accounted for, so that means "Jupiter Ascending" and "White House Down" are two of the films that reflect this result. These movies performed very, very badly.

    If it weren't for "22 Jump Street," which did incredibly well, Tatum would have been even less deserving of his paycheck. In 2015, Tatum's ROI was $10.80. In 2014, it was $6.70. So he is doing significantly better.

    6. Denzel Washington
    These 10 Actors Make Way More Money Than They're Worth
    Washington is yet another actor who made the list for two consecutive years. This is because the actor can demand a very high paycheck but, in return, must achieve massive dollars at the box office. As evidenced by these lists, Washington's paychecks haven't received a cut, but his film's profits have. In 2014, Washington's ROI was $6.90. In 2015, it was $6.50. Unlike Tatum, Washington's profits have dropped, but not by much.

    7. Ben Affleck
    These 10 Actors Make Way More Money Than They're Worth
    Forbes insists most of Affleck's films -- like "Argo" and "Gone Girl" -- saw significant profits, but his bombs -- like "Runner Runner" -- were lethal. In 2014, Affleck's ROI was $9.37. In 2015, it was $12.30. So he's certainly doing better. I'm sure he won't be on the list for 2016, since "Batman v Superman" was incredibly successful. Well at least it was in a dollars sense; critics unanimously hated it.

    8. Brad Pitt
    These 10 Actors Make Way More Money Than They're Worth
    How the mighty have fallen! While I think his wife is the absolute worst, I don't hate Pitt, but many do, evidently. The reason for Pitt's inclusion on this list is much like Washington's. Pitt stars in films of various budgets, but his paychecks don't budge. For example, "World War Z" and "12 Years A Slave" were both massive successes with big budgets, but films like "The Counselor" were much less successful. Regardless, Pitt was paid similarly for both.

    9. Tom Hanks
    These 10 Actors Make Way More Money Than They're Worth
    Say it isn't so! Tom Hanks is an incredible actor, but as you can see, everybody makes mistakes, and that mistake was notably "Cloud Atlas," a film he played not one, but six roles in. Thanks to this reputable flop, Hanks' ROI in 2014 was a disappointing $5.20.

    10. Ben Stiller
    These 10 Actors Make Way More Money Than They're Worth
    Like Will Farrell, it's best that Ben Stiller retire from releasing annual films and leave the comedies to the up-and-comers, who could probably better benefit from the cash. Thanks to flops like "Tower Heist" and "The Watch," Stiller's return on investment was just $4.80 on every dollar paid in 2014.

     

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    It's pretty well known that trophy hunters are shitbags, so it's oddly satisfying to view this video of a lion getting "revenge" on two hunters who are posing with a lion they just killed. This is something we wish would happen to more trophy hunters.

    Take a look at the video posted by Jayden Tanner -- a video that has been viewed over 250,000 times.


    Tanner claims to have come across the video in South Africa after a hunter showed it to him. Tanner states that "every year trophy hunters kill thousands of exotic wild animals in Africa."

    Two lions are dead because of an asshole: Two Lions Shot Dead After Idiot 'Prophet' Jumps Into Lion Enclosure

     

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    The weekend is almost here, yet it's not. In fact, we're just over halfway there when you really think about it. Now that I've properly put you in a downer mood, I know for a fact that the following batch of funny GIFs will lift your spirits. Mission: accomplished.

    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week
    She shoots, we score!


    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, chairs jump fail
    Pro tip: start by jumping one chair and working your way up.


    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, boy shoves sister off box
    When push comes to shove, he'd kill for that box.


    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, cat attack sit-ups
    Worst purr-sonal trainer ever.


    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, guy on slide can't stop
    Can't stop! Won't stop! Nope, just can't stop!


    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, men throwing frisbee wrong
    It's all in the wrist, guys.


    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, fishing pole takes girl's hat
    Really? A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work?


    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, trampoline fire jump
    Fire in the hole!


    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, hair flip wig falls off
    This cements that people losing their wigs is always funny.


    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, punching bag backfire
    Let's play "Which knockout is more pathetic?"


    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, stick throw knockout
    Never mind. We already have our winner.


    funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, dog with stick can't enter
    What can I say -- sticks are tricky. This might take awhile.

    Until we get this situation straightened out, enjoy last week's hilarious GIFs.

     

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    Tired of getting walked all over by demanding neighbors, but prefer the type of confrontation that will only make them more angry? Well, the following person managed to do just that after receiving a nasty note about the dandelions in their yard.

    free dandelions funny sign, how to deal with annoying neighbors
    Well, they should have been more specific.

    (via Reddit)

    Related: Good Samaritan Rescues Neighbor's Dog...Possibly

     

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    One must be careful with what photo they post on the internet, because once it's posted it is anyone's guess what can happen to it. Although, chances are it's going to get Photoshopped like the dad balancing his baby did or like the cold Tough Mudder girl did. So it's no surprise that this kid yelling while a raft sits on his head got the Photoshop treatment.

    Check out the original picture via Reddit:

    Kid With A Raft On His Head Gets The Photoshop Treatment
    And now take a look at what happened when the internet got its fingers on it:

    Kid With A Raft On His Head Gets The Photoshop Treatment

    Kid With A Raft On His Head Gets The Photoshop Treatment

    Kid With A Raft On His Head Gets The Photoshop Treatment

    Kid With A Raft On His Head Gets The Photoshop Treatment

    Kid With A Raft On His Head Gets The Photoshop Treatment

    Kid With A Raft On His Head Gets The Photoshop Treatment

    Kid With A Raft On His Head Gets The Photoshop Treatment

    Kid With A Raft On His Head Gets The Photoshop Treatment

    Kid With A Raft On His Head Gets The Photoshop Treatment

    Kid With A Raft On His Head Gets The Photoshop Treatment
    Keep doing your thing: Amazing Things Happen When Guy Asks Internet To Photoshop Girlfriend

     

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    Classic Biebs.

    Reports are coming out that after last night's NBA Finals game in Cleveland, Justin Bieber got into a street altercation outside The Westin Cleveland. Take a look at the video and then a quick breakdown of the fight below:


    The actual video of the fight lasts less than 10 seconds, but that is enough for me to speculate that it all started when the larger gentleman told Bieber that LeBron is not really his friend. Bieber responded by shoving the man and throwing a wild, weak punch that didn't even phase him, and as he was being taken down he screamed, "Help me, LeBron! Help me!"

    But none of that can be verified. (h/t Yahoo! Sports)

     

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    From Beanie Babies to Furbies, Playboy's list of the most nostalgic memories we have of the '90s is delivered in the sexiest way possible thanks to a half-naked Rosanna Arkle. As for the slime, well, we already knew that she loves getting wet. I guess green goop is still a form of that.

     

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    When it comes to a swimsuit model's greatest fears, the constant boob exposure seems to be a looming threat. This Sports Illustrated Swim clip dishes out all the realistic swimsuit pop-out fears from the hottest bikini models around the world. Hannah Ferguson, Hailey Clauson, Rose Bertram, Chrissy Teigen and Chanel Iman are just a few of the smoking hot babes featured in the video above. If nothing else, it's just great to hear hot girls say words like "nipple."

    Check out more videos from the Sports Illustrated "Uncovered" series.

     

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    You may think you know plenty about boobs because you spend the day thinking about them, looking at them and touching them (hopefully they belong to your partner and not a stranger on the street), but chances are you probably don't really know as much as you think you do.

    Here Are 15 Things You Should Know About Boobs
    Now that we've gotten your brain back on boobs thanks to Sarah Silverman and her gals, take a look below at 15 things you probably don't know about boobs, but should know about your favorite thing in the world.

    Here Are 15 Things You Should Know About Boobs
    See, now you can spit out some boob facts at your lady in order to get her in the mood. Hell, here are some more boob facts. You're welcome.

    Via imgur

    And here's what we think of your girls: Here's What Men Think About Boobs

     

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    It's not her actual birthday suit, but we'll take it.

    According to TMZ, supermodel/actress/sweetheart Kate Upton hit the streets of NYC for her 24th birthday bash last night with her fiancé and slightly above-average MLB pitcher Justin Verlander. More importantly, she hit those streets wearing a cheeky see-through dress that revealed more than enough to know why Verlander was grinning from ear to ear as he walked her into The Blond lounge:

    Kate Upton 24th birthday dress

    Kate Upton 24th birthday dress

    Kate Upton 24th birthday dress
    Not only did that last shot capture Upton taking a peek at her own breathtaking heinie, but it also caught the dude on her right looking hard and obviously liking. Plus, it caught the fact that he forgot to wear socks. How embarrassing.

    (All photos via James Devaney/WireImage)

    Upton's boobs are also crowd pleasers: Kate Upton's Cleavage Nearly Shut Down The Vanity Fair Oscars Party

     

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    Anyone who's seen "Groundhog Day" knows that if you are forced to live the same day over and over again, it starts to become a living hell. You might remember a similar video from a couple of years ago of a guy who scared his father repeatedly, but now there appears to be an heir to the throne of torturing dear old dad on a daily basis.


    A couple of those head shots looked like they actually hurt, too. Well done.

    (h/t Uproxx)

    Don't worry, pops always gets his revenge: Dad Annihilates Kid With Huge Snowball

     

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    If you're friends with Reuben Cook, feel free to get him a set of noise-canceling headphones for Christmas this year. That way he won't attempt to burn down the building he's living in the next time his neighbors decide to loudly plow each other.

    According to the Albuquerque Journal, that's exactly what the 36-year-old Albuquerque man tried to do last Sunday night, telling responding police officers that he "tried to burn anything he could think of" in order to spend the night in jail away from his neighbors.

    man sets fire to apartment complex to escape neighbor's sex noises
    A criminal complaint filed in court earlier this week states that Cook admitted to officers that he started the fire that luckily only caused minor damage to his apartment. He said he heard people upstairs having sex and "making a lot of noise," and he felt that by starting the fire, he would be able to go to prison and escape those annoying sounds of love.

    Sadly, it appears as though nobody informed Cook that you don't escape people having sex when you go to prison, and odds are he's not going to care for the noise coming from those copulating sessions either.

    Your dick's on fire, dude: Woman Sets Cheating Boyfriend's Penis On Fire Because Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

     

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