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- 07/28/16--05:19: _Can Pets In Japan S...
- 07/28/16--05:31: _9 Seinfeld Plotline...
- 07/28/16--06:20: _10 People Who Prete...
- 07/28/16--06:28: _Dude Complains To S...
- 07/28/16--06:36: _15 Bizarre Thoughts...
- 07/28/16--07:50: _Get Better Acquaint...
- 07/28/16--08:54: _Using Alcohol To As...
- 07/28/16--09:33: _The Subtlest Rick R...
- 07/28/16--11:25: _This Monkey Rescue ...
- 07/28/16--11:33: _'Bikini Cop' Mikael...
- 07/28/16--12:22: _The Greatest T-Shir...
- 07/28/16--15:30: _Big Bird And His 'S...
- 07/29/16--04:21: _Ranking State Names...
- 07/29/16--04:36: _This Is A Horrible ...
- 07/29/16--04:53: _Today's Funny Photos
- 07/29/16--05:17: _This Week's 20 Funn...
- 07/29/16--05:50: _Debunking 10 'True ...
- 07/29/16--06:10: _10 Reasons To Watch...
- 07/29/16--06:42: _That Hug Obama Gave...
- 07/29/16--07:06: _Ranking The 6 Worst...
- 07/28/16--05:19: Can Pets In Japan See Pokémon?
- 07/28/16--05:31: 9 Seinfeld Plotlines That Were Definitely 'Out There'
- 07/28/16--06:20: 10 People Who Pretended To Be War Heroes
- 07/28/16--06:36: 15 Bizarre Thoughts About Sex That Are Weirdly Accurate
- 07/28/16--07:50: Get Better Acquainted With The 'Suicide Squad'
- 07/28/16--09:33: The Subtlest Rick Roll Yet
- 07/28/16--11:25: This Monkey Rescue Mission Does Not Go As Planned
- 07/28/16--12:22: The Greatest T-Shirts In Movie History Supercut
- 07/29/16--04:36: This Is A Horrible Prank To Play On Unsuspecting Strangers
- 07/29/16--04:53: Today's Funny Photos
- 07/29/16--05:17: This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets
- 07/29/16--05:50: Debunking 10 'True Story' Movies
- 07/29/16--06:10: 10 Reasons To Watch The Rio Olympics
- 07/29/16--07:06: Ranking The 6 Worst Events To Try To Plan With Your Wife
Well this is a little weird.
It's commonly believed that pets have a sixth sense that humans don't, whether it's the ability to predict that a storm is coming or sniff out an evil spirit that is haunting your home. In the same vein, people in Japan are starting to think that their pets can actually see Pokémon that are invisible to humans unless they are playing Pokémon Go. Or perhaps the pets can just sense some sort of electronic emission. Either way, it led to a series of recent tweets of photographic "evidence" of the pets' Pokémon power. Take a look:
ももにもポケモン見えてるみたいです！ pic.twitter.com/J4hWcJNpu2— 柴犬ももた (@shiba_momota) July 23, 2016
ねえ、まさかとは思うけど、— 倉持ｷｮｰﾘｭｰ@C90日曜マ42b (@kyoryu_kuramo) July 22, 2016
ポケモンおった。こいつには見えてるらしいな。 pic.twitter.com/Cj5p3D8ZNK— 橋本 智広 (@hashimoto_shogo) July 22, 2016
いけー！そこだ！戦えー！ pic.twitter.com/3TLr0BCixr— 透はしゃけちゃづけ (@plmn_1226) July 22, 2016
そのうち狩るんじゃ...... pic.twitter.com/nqxetjjg5C— 久米夏生@猫と日常 (@tabasa_uran) July 23, 2016
猫にはポケモンが見えるらしい pic.twitter.com/GqkroqHVwj— かとーの けーた (@basketball12251) July 23, 2016
あみポケモン見えてるっぽい pic.twitter.com/1hAdNwP04V— 渚猿 (@nagizaru7) July 23, 2016
Kramer Gets a Personal Intern
We'll start this list off as normal as possible since the situations will only get more outlandish from here. In the Season 9 episode "The Voice," Kramer randomly ends up with his own personal intern named Darin, whom he is able to obtain from New York University under the guise of his Kramerica Industries moniker. Long story short, while testing one of Kramer's absurd inventions, a woman is crushed by a giant oil balloon. Kramer manages to then shift all the blame to Darin, who he says at the end of the episode will be "going away for a long, long time." Damn, Kramer, that's cold.
Jerry Engages with a Naked Dude on the Subway
If you live in New York City, perhaps seeing a naked guy riding the subway is just another day. But in the case of Jerry Seinfeld, an established neat freak and incredibly shallow man, it seems odd that he would strike up a friendship with the guy everyone has secluded to the other end of the subway car in Season 3's "The Subway." Actually, it seems kind of strange that he'd even be riding the subway in the first place, but we'll let that part slide considering the even more peculiar circumstances.
The Bottle Scam
In the grand scheme of all the nonsense contained in this list, you might be thinking that a scam involving taking bottles and cans across state borders for a profit seems not only halfway normal—especially by Kramer and Newman standards—but certainly not "out there" considering it might have even worked if Kramer hadn't bailed on the plan to help Jerry. However, we included the two-part Season 7 plotline from "The Bottle Deposit" for topical purposes, as a Michigan man recently tried to work the very same scam. He's now facing up to 5 years in prison.
"Melrose Place" Lie Detector Test
Here's where the weirdness really starts to pick up steam. While we've surely all been caught indulging in a less than manly TV series, Jerry's behavior—and his girlfriend's, for that matter—in Season 6's "The Beard" ventures into preposterous territory the moment he decides taking a lie detector test is acceptable to prove he doesn't watch "Melrose Place." What's even more illogical is that he's doing it just so his girlfriend won't break up with him, something that has happened to him nearly 100 times at this point.
Kramer Fights Children
We're guessing this one won't be a very hard sell in the "this is crazy" department. The Season 8 premiere "The Foundation" has Kramer literally beating the crap out of kids in a beginners martial arts class. Along with being completely nuts, one has to wonder how Kramer even pulls these stunts off, as other episodes have featured him getting into places with virtually no explanation as to why no one is asking questions about a suspicious-looking grown man hanging out with their children.
"Hackneyed" would hardly be the word to describe "Seinfeld," but in the case of the Season 8 episode "The Bizarro Jerry," it fits. After all, it's a little bizarre to see such an established comedy relying on the old "doppelgänger versions of characters" gimmick that nearly every show does as some point for laughs. We're not saying it didn't get the job done here, too; we're simply pointing out that it's a bit of a stretch better suited for comic books or cartoons.
Newman Tries to Eat Kramer
We're not embellishing, either. In the Season 9 premiere "The Butter Shave," Newman literally tries to eat Kramer after he bastes himself in butter, cooks himself in the sun, then is accidentally covered in flour and oregano. Actually, all of that sounds about as preposterous as the whole cannibalism thing, so it clearly deserves to be here.
Jerry Digs Up a Dead Body
Keep in mind, this is years after an episode where Jerry may or may not have killed a man with laughter. As you probably already guessed, this is again a Season 9 plotline from the episode "The Strong Box." While Jerry may have had a legit reason to dig up the corpse of his neighbor's dead bird—it swallowed the key to a strong box containing some important cufflinks—this is still not a relatable scenario in the least, and is played out solely for laughs. Not to mention the box ends up being unlocked the whole time, something you'd think he would have checked thoroughly first. Or, you know, just broken the lock.
From deadly envelop glue to a court trial that somehow manages to track down every single person the core cast has ever wronged, there were several ways we could have gone for our final "out there" pick. At the end of the day, however, how could we not close up shop with Season 8's "The Chicken Roaster," an episode which ends with a living dummy running around Jerry's apartment? While it was alluded to prior to the final kicker, you actually see the potentially villainous Mr. Marbles' shadow in the final moments scampering about. If that's not the strangest gag this show ever pulled off, then we'd love to hear your thoughts on what was in the comments.
Modern technology has made it easier than ever to fake military service. A few hours in Photoshop can create documents that will fool most observers. That is, unless you're British man Dave Harper, who trotted out the most hilariously faked photo in the world to claim that he was awarded a Military Cross in 1969 for service in Northern Ireland. Harper simply pasted his face over actual war hero Alfie Pope, who was awarded the Cross after saving three fellow soldiers from a hail of bullets in Afghanistan in 2012. A group of British stolen valor hunters quickly exposed Harper, noting that there were no Military Crosses awarded in 1969 and the photo would have probably been in black & white, even if it wasn't a lousy Photoshop.
The majority of these military frauds use their bogus service to impress friends or strangers, but Utah man Kenneth Crocheron faked service for just one family. For decades, Crocheron claimed to have served in Vietnam, where he was awarded three Purple Hearts before getting cancer from Agent Orange exposure. In reality, he made everything up to impress one kid: the son of actual vet James Jeanes, who was suffering from a rare disease. At one point, he even claimed to be "deployed to Afghanistan" and called the Jeanes family with gunfire sound effects in the background. Crocheron's bizarre imposture continued for over a decade until the Jeanes family discovered that he never went overseas and his only service was at a base in Utah.
The thing with faking military commendations is that most people can't stop at just one. When British man Roger Day marched in the 2009 Remembrance Day parade, you couldn't help but notice the array of medals pinned to his chest, including the Military Cross, Distinguished Service Order and Kuwaiti Liberation Medal. If any soldier had racked up that many commendations, he'd be a legend -- but nobody had any idea who Day was, especially the actual soldiers he was marching with. When confronted, Day claimed that all of the medals were legit, but his wife later fessed up to buying them for him.
Military charity scams are big business. It's easy to get a few bucks out of people when they know the cash is going to our veterans, who need all the help they can get. So there are few things as disgusting as somebody claiming to be an ex-soldier and scamming donations at the same time. St. Louis man Matthew Buckingham said he served in Iraq and Afghanistan, was injured overseas and now spent his time dealing with local gangs. He set up a raffle to raise money for the Wounded Warrior Project but spent all the takings on himself before cops tracked him down.
Many of these military impostors seem simply incapable of lying low. Australian Rex Crane had an incredible backstory, with lurid tales of being a Singaporean prisoner of war during World War II. Allegedly captured at 15, he was one of the youngest POWs of the war -- well, he would have been, if his story were true. In 2009, researchers determined that Crane had made the entire thing up and was in Australia for the length of the conflict. He had been collecting a fraudulent military pension and other cash awards since 1988. Adding insult to injury, Crane was then serving as the president of the Ex-Prisoners of War Association of Australia!
Right-wing media has an endless appetite for ex-military folks who can get mad at Obama on cue, so it's not surprising that when Joe Cafasso came to Fox News with a pedigree that included Special Forces service and a Rolodex full of sources, they put him right on the air. Unfortunately for the network, Cafasso was nothing but a con man. Instead of a decorated Vietnam War veteran who also participated in Operation Eagle Claw to free hostages in Iran, Cafasso had actually only served 44 days at Fort Dix in boot camp before being discharged. His backstory reveals multiple other identity frauds and fake names.
William James Clark
The Green Berets are one of the most respected operations forces in the entire U.S. military, and you have to be the best of the best to make muster. That's why it was so bizarre to see a morbidly obese man huffing around Alaska gun shows in full Green Beret uniform, complete with two-star Combat Infantryman Badge. The man was William James Clark, a serial hoaxer who had done prison time in the past for impersonating an Army captain. When a real infantryman spotted Clark, he dragged him out into the parking lot and upbraided him before stripping him of his unearned medals and insignia.
Donald R. Nicholson
It's hard to say what really inspires people to fake distinguished service. It's a need for attention, sure, but there has to be something deeper behind it. When Donald "Nick" Nicholson walked into the Clermont County Vietnam Veterans of America post, he was instantly welcomed by his fellow vets. They listened to his tales of valor that earned him a Distinguished Service Cross and accepted him as one of their own. That is, until they learned that the former police chief had been in Florida during the war and bought his medals at an antique store. He was quickly expelled from the VVA and turned into a pariah when his deception became known.
Most of these fake war heroes get exposed on the internet, which is bad. But British scammer Billy Dailly suffered the ultimate humiliation when a couple of paratroopers proved he was a liar in front of the patrons at the pub he owned. Dailly spent two decades claiming that he'd served in the Falklands as part of the 2nd Battalion Parachute Regiment, and even had medals to show for it. But when two actual veterans from that regiment caught wind of his claims, they swooped in to show Billy's loyal crowd that he made the whole thing up, and even made his own medals to make the scam more believable. The disgraced barman fled the scene in shame.
For a politician, decorated military service is worth more than just about anything else. The voting public loves a war hero, after all. So when Douglas Stringfellow ran for a Congressional seat in Utah, his distinguished service in World War II was a huge asset. According to the man himself, he was awarded the Silver Star for his efforts as a member of the OSS behind enemy lines, and had been captured and brutally tortured by the Nazis but never gave up his love for America, even after it cost him the use of his legs. Unfortunately, a TV appearance on "You Bet Your Life" gave Stringfellow a little more exposure than he bargained for and his opponents revealed that he wasn't in the OSS, didn't get a Silver Star and was actually able to walk!
Dealing with any type of customer service is one headache that people usually try to avoid, but instead of complaining on the phone and saying "this is unprofessional" on a loop until he scored some free stuff, a dude instead complained using nothing but Eminem lyrics to get his point across.
Jay Whalley wasn't happy about his most recent experiences shopping at ASOS, so he took it to their Facebook in order to voice his displeasure. And what better way to voice that than by using lyrics from one of Eminem's most popular songs "Stan." Check out his complaint below thanks to his Facebook:
While most customer service reps may have taken one look at this message and ignored it, customer service Rianna replied and took a stab (as best as she could) at rapping:
Rianna went hard on this one, folks.
h/t The LAD Bible
Or sometimes you can just screw with people: A Comedian Created A Fake 'Customer Service' Account Just To Mess With People
There are a lot of aspects of sex that get overlooked, but not anymore. The following bizarre observations on the matter hit on just about everything you've never thought of before, and nail it. You'll never look at dating and relationships the same again.
Related: 14 People Reveal Their Sex Talk Horror Stories
The "Suicide Squad," for those who may not be comic book purveyors, are a ragtag team of super-villains and anti-heroes ordered to carry out dangerous black-ops missions for the government. Why would these villains put their lives at risk for the system responsible for their capture? Commuted sentences, that's why. It actually does make sense (unlike most superhero origins), and we're all hoping the movie does the comic justice and that it lives up to the hype.
To get you better acquainted with this dysfunctional superteam, we've provided a synopsis on each of the characters you will find in the film aside from the Joker, because if you don't know who he is, you probably shouldn't bother watching the movie and your man card should be revoked, indefinitely.
Played by: Margot Robbie
Harley Quinn is one of the more recent villains to inhabit Gotham, having made her impressionable debut on the Emmy Award-winning "Batman: The Animated Series." Harley's origins are rooted in love. More specifically, her amorous feelings toward her most notorious patient, the Joker.
Dr. Harleen Quinzel (pre-Joker) was once a respected psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum, an institution that housed Gotham's most lethal lawbreakers. However, her feelings for Gotham's most dangerous criminal led her to irrationally flee the practice and join the sadistic clown as an assistant in his violent crimes and the most lusted after member of the Suicide Squad.
Played by: Will Smith
Deadshot (Floyd Lawton) has had it rough. As a kid, he idolized his brother because their father was a deadbeat and incredibly abusive. On one occasion, when Deadshot's father attacked his brother, Deadshot took aim at his father with his own rifle. When the rifle shot however, the branch Deadshot was sitting on broke, causing the bullet to strike and kill his brother. Later in life, Deadshot's son was murdered by a sadistic killer named Wes Ansel.
Understandably, he's become something of a loner as a result. However, Deadshot's greatest asset to the Suicide Squad is that he's earned the accolade as the world's greatest marksman.
Played by: Joel Kinnaman
Rick Flag is the reluctant leader of Task Force X (aka: the Suicide Squad). Flag, an elite soldier of the military, was recruited to lead the Suicide Squad for the sole reason than his father led an earlier iteration of the group.
Because of the successes of previous Suicide Squad missions, Waller (who is the true authority of the Squad) believed the concept was worth resurrecting and that Flag was the safest bet to serve as the group's ground leader. As for Flag's powers, he doesn't really have any. He's in peak physical shape and professionally trained in firearms, hand-to-hand combat, aviation, etc. A supersoldier, if you will.
Played by: Jai Courtney
Captain Boomerang (George Harkness) is Australian. He's also a drunk, racist criminal whose powers revolve around throwing objects similar to a boomerang. Yes, that's about it. He is, without a doubt, the sleaziest member of the Suicide Squad and the occasional nemesis to Deadshot.
Employed by a toy company, Harkness' job was to showcase his uncanny throwing arm in front of audiences to promote product. Understandably, people made fun of him for this useless talent. As a result, he left his job and became a villain in retaliation and was eventually scooped up by the Suicide Squad.
Played by: Jay Hernandez
Chato Santana and his gang were busted by police and Santana was shot. In the hospital, Santana comes in contact with the original cadaver possessed by the demon, El Diablo (who grants the ability of pyrokinesis) where these powers were transferred to Santana. These powers were seen as a great asset to the Suicide Squad (after setting fire to a building and killing everybody inside), and he was coerced to join.
Played by: Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje
Killer Croc (Waylon Jones) was born with an extremely rare medical condition known as Epidermolytic hyperkatosis, which caused his appearance to turn into that of a crocodile. Having been abandoned by his father and killing his mother in childbirth, Croc was raised by his abusive, alcoholic aunt. He would later be arrested as a result of his brutish upbringing and murdered a fellow inmate who mocked his appearance.
After he was released, he found a job in a carnival sideshow where he'd appropriately wrestle alligators. It wasn't long before Croc realized that there was MUCH more money in crime, so he became Gotham's most powerful underground villain instead.
Played by: Cara Delevingne
Enchantress (June Moone) was invited to a luxe costume party at an old castle where she carelessly left the party quarters and stumbled into a secret chamber. In said chamber, a mystical being known as Dzamor grants her -- a piddling freelance artist -- powers to defeat an evil presence in the castle.
With these powers (and quoting the words "The Enchantress") Moone becomes a powerful sorceress (which she believes to be evil; think: Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde) and has destroyed various demonic creatures under this formidable guise.
Played by: Karen Fukuhara
Katana (Tatsu Yamashiro) is one of the less animated Suicide Squad members and was recruited to help keep the team in line.
An expert samurai, Katana has the ability to trap souls in her sword, which she's aptly named "the Soultaker." This coveted sword also houses the soul of her husband, who fell victim to the weapon while it was in someone else's hands. As a result, Katana is able to communicate with her husband through the weapon. While not inherently evil like most of her compatriots, Katana is second to none when it comes to hand-to-hand combat.
Played by: Adam Beach
Slipknot worked for a chemical company where he developed a first-of-its-kind formula for unbreakable ropes -- ropes he would later use under the alias Slipknot. After being arrested for an attack on Firestorm, Slipknot was recruited by the Suicide Squad for his incomparable and lethal talents with rope.
As one of the lesser trusted members of the Suicide Squad, Slipknot and Captain Boomerang were fastened with "armband bombs" which were set to detonate if either party ventured too far out of range. Informed they were fake, Slipknot tests the parameters and loses his arm to the bomb's blast. He was found near-dead, and had his arm replaced with a bionic prosthetic.
Played by: Viola Davis
She may not look it, but Waller is the scariest character associated with "Suicide Squad." During her tenure as a congressional aide, Waller is the government authority responsible for the Suicide Squad.
Despite many successes as the group's authority, Waller would often defy her superiors in order to achieve goals (personal and otherwise) on many occasions. Her relationship with the Squad itself was one of mutual dislike. Despite boasting no hero-like abilities aside from her sheer ruthlessness, Waller is enough of a threat to keep all members of the Suicide Squad in line.
But mainly see it for her: Margot Robbie Sizzles As Harley Quinn In The Newest Suicide Squad Promo
Before a wedding can go horribly wrong, you're going to need a few buddies to experience the misery with, and a few buddies to hopefully tell you you're making a huge mistake. So while one lad assumed he thought up the best way to ask someone to be his best man, the guy below simply added an extra touch: alcohol.
Take a look at what one Reddit user did to ask this very important question:
Sure, this guy is probably an ass, but I'm glad his friend has accepted his ways. In other words, good luck, Steph.
And then expect these things to occur: The 13 Most Annoying Things That Happen At Weddings
Everyone loves themselves a good Rick Roll, and whether it includes Donald Trump or not, it seems like Rick Rolling someone isn't getting old anytime soon. Hell, even bookstores seem to be getting into it. Check out the stack of books below and see if you can spot it.
Well done, books. Speaking of books, "Skin Game" sounds like the erotic thriller I've been looking for.
Damn you, Rick Astley: 12 Songs You Hate That Still Get Stuck In Your Head
I've watched this video a few times and I still don't know what the hell I just watched. All I know is that I can't stop watching. Take a look at the video below shared on Twitter, and try to make sense of it all.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOpic.twitter.com/IgAWNf1H9d— 2DOPEBOYZ (@2DopeBoyz) July 27, 2016
That monkey can now expect a $1,000 bill for the ambulance that came to treat him.
And now what the hell is this? This Is How To Truly 'Drop It Like It's Hot'
Swedish off-duty policewoman Mikaela Kellner, now being referred to as "bikini cop" in the media after her daring daylight arrest in Stockholm went viral, uploaded the following photo of herself busting a homeless perp stealing cell phones to Instagram. She's the one in the white starred bikini, if you didn't already put that together.
En stackars hemlös kille som man kan tro försöker göra rätt för sig. Han säljer tidningar istället för att tjuva!! När vi avböjer att köpa hans tidningar passar han på att stjäla min kompis mobiltelefon!! Väldigt skickligt av honom då han smyger ner sina tidningar över mobilen och får sedan med sig den med lätthet!! Osis för denna kille att han råkade sno av två poliser👮🏻👮🏻!! Mitt första ingripande iklädd bikini under mina 11 år som polis!! Ganska kul och trivsamt måste jag säga 😂😂! Se upp för ficktjuvar, håll koll på era värdesaker!!
The caption below the photo roughly translates from Swedish as follows: "A poor homeless guy who you'd have thought would do right for himself. He sells magazines instead of stealing!! When we decline to buy his magazines he takes the opportunity to steal my friends mobile phone!! Very skillfully since he slipped down his magazine over the phone and takes it with ease!! Bad luck for him that he tried to steal from two cops!! My first arrest dressed in bikini during my 11 years as a cop!! Pretty fun and comfortable I have to say! Look out for pickpockets, keep an eye on your valuables!!"
After the incident, the 11-year veteran cop went on to tell The Local that after the man left, her friend noticed her cell phone was missing: "There was no time, so I ran after him, maybe 15 meters or so. One of my friends is also a police officer, so we got hold of him. He tried to get away so we held onto him harder. . .I just acted on instinct and didn't think about it so much until after we had pinned him down. When I sat there I looked over at our other two friends who are not police officers and realized that it probably looked pretty funny. But I would have stepped in no matter my outfit."
We're guessing the would-be thief has never been more turned on while being arrested.
Meanwhile, in Russia: This Russian Police Officer's Sexy Dance Video Was Enough To Get Her Fired
We sure do love our movie supercuts. And whether it's the sexiest female moments in film, or just a bunch of high fives on film, a supercut of anything is always in our line of sight. This is no different.
Thanks to Travis Greenwood, we now get to see some of the greatest T-shirts that have ever graced the big screen. From "Old School" to "Big" to "Grease," there have been plenty of fantastic T-shirts. Check it out below.
Seems like Seth Rogen has worn most of them.
If you want a full list of every T-shirt and movie head to Travis' site here.
And now see this gem: Matthew McConaughey Making A Bunch Of Bizarre Noises Supercut
Mylo the Cat -- aka Adam Schleichkorn -- has done it again with another great mashup on his YouTube page Is This How You Go Viral? After his latest video featuring Bugs Bunny performing Tupac put the original to shame, he decided to lighten the mood just a tad by having Big Bird attempt his best Will Smith. We're not sure we'd buy the eight-foot two-inch yellow canary/condor as Deadshot in Suicide Squad, but he seems to pull off Smith's early '90s hip-hop phase with flying colors.
Related: 'Sesame Street' Cast Performs Bone Thugs-N-Harmony 'Tha Crossroads'
This isn't "Good Times," and not many good times take place in the Sunshine State anymore. In fact, a lot of bad things happen there. Naming your child Florida is not advised.
Famous example: Florida Evans (played by Esther Rolle) in "Good Times"
Nobody is really named Alabama, right? Wrong. Although it sounds like it should be the first name of a blues guitarist, it's actually the name Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and his ex Shanna Moakler chose for their daughter.
Famous example: Alabama Luella Barker
If you want people to think your daughter is 70 years old when she's seven months old, this is a solid option.
Famous examples: Virginia Woolf, Virginia Madsen, the subject of the 1999 Train song "Meet Virginia"
7. Montana/Nevada (tie)
Lovely names, but your child is destined to become a stripper.
Famous examples: Just a ton of strippers
Yes, this is more of a last name, but last names are the new first names. Duh.
Famous example: Washington Irving
Although Caroline is more common, this is a fun variation that increases the chances of a country song being written about your daughter by 300 percent.
Famous examples: Carolina Herrera, Carolina Kostner
A pretty manly name, and it reminds folks of whiskey. Your son could really become somebody important with a name like this.
Famous example: Tennessee Williams
Similar to Virginia, but about 20 years younger sounding. Also, it has the connotation with peaches, so that's nice.
Famous examples: Georgia O'Keeffe, Georgia Gilmore, Georgia Salpa
Also a little stripperish sounding, but the increasingly unisex name could also lead your kid to the limelight of Hollywood (or YouTube).
Famous examples: Dakota Fanning, Dakota Johnson
Let me ask you a question: Is Henry Walton Jones a cool name? Hell no. Is Indiana Jones a cool name? Hell yes. Name your child Indiana and watch them succeed and be awesome at every step in life.
Famous examples: Indiana Jones, Indiana Hawke (Ethan Hawke's daughter...because he gets it.)
It's a real thrill to come across a one hundred dollar bill in the street. Just seeing it immediately sends you into daydreams about how you'll spend it. Or, if you're a particularly generous person, you'll at least feel the satisfaction of turning it in and knowing you've done your good deed for the day, week, or however long you like to go in-between acts of kindness. In any case, there are those people out there who like to bring you back down to cold hard reality.
See? The world hates you again. All is as it ever was.
(via The Humor Train)
Money doesn't buy happiness; just Happy Meals: Save Some Money At Fast Food Restaurants With These Value Hacks
FFFRRRIIIDDDAAAYYY! Time to party. But before you tear off into the weekend, enjoy this carefully crafted batch of funny photos. It will only make the next two days of your life even better. And if that's not enough, wander more Mandatory stuff on Twitter and Instagram. Catch ya on the flip side.
Check out more funny photos.
Check out more funny photos.
Check out more funny photos.
Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
Do we call macaroni and cheese "mac" because its short for macaroni? Or is it because "mac" is an acronym for macaroni and cheese?— 6'4 (@OverlyLiked) March 4, 2016
Someone should teach stock photo hackers how computers work. pic.twitter.com/foVNgmWm0A— Kashana (@kashanacauley) July 19, 2016
old ladies are insanely metal just say hi to any one of them for a 20min list of people that recently died— Ceej (@ceejoyner) July 19, 2016
All the wrong people hate themselves.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 24, 2016
My mom took a selfie when my cat was dead as shit😂😂 tounge out and all pic.twitter.com/MzGYbXWsxi— House (@Alcohols_Finest) July 21, 2016
wolverine, but his claws are just extra fingers— tomsauced (@trojansauce) November 15, 2015
Nintendo: Do you like games?— Shawn (@online_shawn) July 22, 2016
Nintendo: Walking around?
Me: Not really
Nintendo: Trading rats for candy?
Me: Are you drunk
me (checkin out at grocery store with 2 rotisserie chickens): hold up *i grab my phone although it didn't ring* sure i'll get 1 more chicken— very handsome keith (@ghostkrogh) April 18, 2016
In 5th grade I had to do a report on Ben Franklin and my parents interpreted it as me liking him so my 11th birthday was Ben Franklin themed— cory snearowski (@corysnearowski) March 27, 2016
Surprise your buddy by putting on clown makeup and dying in his attic.— TRYIN T'BE FRIENDS (@Chumpstring) September 6, 2015
Why Pokemon Go Is Like Game Of Thrones: Please, Slate Told Me If I Wrote This I'd Get My Kids Back— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) July 13, 2016
My dad just asked me if I can make my "famous avocado sauce" tomorrow. He is referring to guacamole.— Sam Escobar (@myhairisblue) July 4, 2016
Niggas will slander you for riding the bus but when you cheat on ya girl what she gon do? Key the bus? Lol— Yocolate Papí (@jabbjones) August 26, 2015
U like seafood?— garth (@garbagecoven) January 8, 2015
*opens mouth full of food*
SEE FOOD LOL
U like SeaWorld?
*opens mouth full of sad orcas in captivity*
Putting a bell around a cow's neck to circumvent its stealthiness is just wrong. I say let them hunt.— Piece (@Piecezilla) June 20, 2016
U ever see Se7en?— KattsDogma (@KattsDogma) July 20, 2016
No but I saw The H8ful Eight. U see Nine?
No but I saw 10. U see Oceans11?
No but I saw Oceans12. U see Friday the 13th
The 6 year-old son of a colleague has just drawn this. He has offered no explanation for it. pic.twitter.com/VZaEqFEMot— Richard Osman (@richardosman) July 15, 2016
Save 4,000 calories by going to bed at 7pm.— That Carly Girl (@thatcarlygirl) June 16, 2016
Prince didn't even do small talk with Matt Damon pic.twitter.com/Z7XYZZCQKi— 'Zza 'Zza Gabor (@theprophetpizza) July 18, 2016
Just helped an elderly man cross the street by honking my horn repeatedly— Mattzilla™ (@mattZillaaaa) June 14, 2014
Want more? Check out last week's hilarious tweets.
"The Perfect Storm"
Sebastian Junger's 1997 nonfiction book tells the tale of the massive storm that slammed the Northeast Atlantic coast in 1991 and brought down the swordfishing boat Andrea Gail. The film adaptation was a massive hit, with some of the most amazing water effects ever lensed and great performances from George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg. There's only one problem: nobody has any idea what happened aboard the ship during the storm, because everybody went down with the ship. All of the drama you see as the boat tries to crest a massive rogue wave and collapses as Clooney goes down with the ship was made up for a better story. I mean, it could have happened that way, but there's no indication that it did.
"Stand And Deliver"
The cinematic story of inner city math teacher Jamie Escalante actually makes academic achievement fun to watch. In "Stand And Deliver," Escalante (played by Edward James Olmos) takes a group of underachieving Hispanic students and challenges them to improve to AP Calculus level by their senior year. After accusations of cheating, the kids succeed and show they're just as smart as anybody else. What the movie leaves out, though, is that the real-life Escalante didn't just pick random kids out of nowhere for his experiment - instead, he set up feeder programs in junior high to find and nurture kids with academic potential for as long as seven years before that AP Calculus test. It just goes to show you that nothing is as easy as it seems in the movies.
"Pursuit of Happyness"
This feel-good flick starred Will Smith as real-life success story Christopher Gardner, a single father who worked as an intern at a stock brokerage while homeless. It's a huge tale of triumph through hard work, but the flick took a lot of liberties with the truth. One of the most notable concerns Gardner's internship - in the movie, it's an unpaid position that he doggedly sticks with because he knows it'll improve his life. In real life, he was taking home $1000 a month from it - still not a lot in San Francisco, but something. And Gardner's son wasn't from his wife, but from his mistress who he knocked up after a 30 day cocaine binge.
"Remember The Titans"
A true-life sports story is always a good sell at the box office, and if you can throw in an uplifting racial message you're guaranteed to move tickets. 2000's "Remember The Titans" told the story of a newly-integrated high school in Alexandria, Virginia, as their football team goes to the state championships. While, yes, T.C. Williams High was a real place and coach Herman Boone was a real person, the Hollywood version took some huge liberties - most notably, that the school had been mixed race for seven whole years before Boone started. And the big game that closes the movie, where T.C. Williams barely wins on a touchdown reversal? Haha, nope, they actually completely decimated their opponents 27-0. But that wouldn't make for any dramatic tension.
When you see the words "true events" connected with a horror movie, that's a pretty good sign that the directors are BSing you. One of the most egregious examples is 2008's "The Strangers." Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman play a young couple whose home is invaded by a bunch of creeps in masks intent on torturing them. It's a fun, creepy flick that opens with a chilling home invasion statistic and a claim that the events you're about to see are "inspired by true events." What it doesn't tell you is that those "true events" are a childhood memory of director Bryan Bertino's life in rural Texas where a stranger knocked on his door and his sister answered it... and that's it. Nobody got murdered, no masks, no nothing. But that would be a pretty dull movie.
One of the most critically acclaimed movies of 1988, "Mississippi Burning" was a beautifully-lensed exploration of the civil rights movement, framed around a pair of FBI investigators tracking down the culprits for a brutal murder of three activists. In the flick, the Feds are a proactive force for justice, running down KKK members and conducting a sting operation against the mayor of the town to get the names of the culprits. Unfortunately, in reality FBI director J. Edgar Hoover didn't give a wet crap about the struggle, and any agents on the streets during that time were barely active, in some reports standing by while people were beaten in front of them. Instead of a daring undercover operation, the murderers were simply caught by paying an informant to squeal.
We're back in the ocean for another flick that took some serious liberties with a "true story." 2003's "Open Water" told the tale of an American couple who were left behind on the Great Barrier Reef and never seen again. Like "A Perfect Storm," this is a movie where everything that happens after the tour boat leaves is complete fiction, simply because neither of the two survived. In the film, they're tormented by sharks that slowly nibble them to pieces, but in reality it's more likely that they died of exposure or drowning. Some of their gear was found washed up but the only damage in it was from sharp coral, not shark teeth.
"The Last King Of Scotland"
We're not going to take anything away from Forest Whitaker's brilliant, Oscar-winning performance as Ugandan dictator Idi Amin in "The Last King Of Scotland." And Amin's notorious corruption and awfulness has been very well documented. But what about the movie's POV character, Dr. Nicholas Garrigan, the titular "last king?" Well, he never existed at all. The real white confidante to Amin was a former British soldier named Bob Astles who actually wanted to become a part of his awful regime, and was dubbed "The White Rat" by downtrodden Ugandans because of it. But that wouldn't make nearly as good a story, so the filmmakers decided to make him into a decent human being instead.
Tales of the Old West are all about stretching the truth a little bit, but 2004's "Hidalgo" does so in some pretty ridiculous ways. If you haven't seen it, the flick stars Viggo Mortensen as Frank T. Hopkins, a legendary distance rider who travels to Arabia in 1891 to compete against the legendary Bedouins in a desert race. He survives injuries and setbacks to miraculously win the event and return to America a changed man. Unfortunately for Disney, who produced the film, Hopkins was a notorious prevaricator and just about every biographical detail that made it to the screen was a lie, including the great Arabian race.
What is it about football movies and stretching the truth? On the silver screen, the story of Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger is a perfect underdog story. Ruettiger was an dyslexic Illinois high school kid who dreamed of playing for Notre Dame but didn't have the money or grades to pull it off. In the flick, he keeps working at it and is given a chance on the field in his final eligible game thanks to grit and determination in the face of an unbelieving former NFL coach. The only problem? In real life, it was that coach's idea to put him in, and the film's iconic scene of the other Fighting Irish players turning in their jerseys in protest didn't happen either. Yes, Ruettiger did get to play, but the circumstances surrounding his game were much less dramatic.
So yes, there are no police or firefighters in Rio, and there are mutilated bodies being washed ashore on their beaches, but that doesn't mean that the 2016 Rio Olympics have to be a downer. Right? And while many athletes are turning down the opportunity to compete in Rio for fear of catching a disease or being murdered, there are still plenty of reasons you should watch the Olympic games this year.
And here are the 10 most important reasons to tune into them:
Amber Hill - English Shooter
Listen, you're not going to rush to your TV set to watch a bunch of folks shoot at targets. Well, maybe if you're a Republican you will. But hey, you may want to tune in this time around because English shooter Amber Hill will be out there. Hill already owns three gold medals that she won in International competition and is looking to add more to her mantle this summer.
Michelle Jenneke - Australian Hurdler
Sure, hurdling is just people jumping over things, but I'm pretty sure if I attempted it I would break my leg, so kudos to them is well deserved. And kudos to Michelle Jenneke is also well deserved, as the 23-year-old Australian is looking to add another medal to her resume, as she already as a silver medal to her name. But if it was up to us she would win gold. Like, always.
Mikaela Mayer - American Boxer
Hey, there's boxing at the Olympics, too! And 26-year-old Mikaela Mayer will be representing team USA in the women's 60kg category. Mayer was the '14 and '15 USA National Boxing Champion, so expect her to do some damage this summer. I think we'd all rather look at Mayer than Mayweather.
Sloan Stephens - American Tennis Player
It's not all about Serena Williams when it comes to women's tennis, 23-year-old Sloane Stephens actually defeated Serena at the 2013 Australian Open and has been a mainstay in the tennis world since. This will be Sloane's first trip to the Olympics, but you'll get to see her plenty more when you spend time on her Instagram.
Kassidy Cook - American Diver
Kassidy Cook is already in the running for hottest Olympian, and she'll be trying to grab gold later this summer in Rio. Kassidy will be diving left and right (we aren't well-versed in diving), and regardless of how she does she's already won. Now go ahead and perv out.
Ellen Hoog - Dutch Field Hockey Player
I've never watched any field hockey at the Olympics, but I may start because Ellen Hoog will be a part of it. The 30-year-old already has two gold medals to her belt, and I'm just going to assume those championship games were as competitive as what I saw in the "Mighty Ducks" movies. Nevertheless, Hoog will be at Rio hoping to add more hardware to her name. And we will definitely be watching.
Winifer Fernandez - Dominican Volleyball Player
Winifer Fernandez is already getting noticed, mainly because of her hot highlights video, but the 19-year-old also has skills on the court. Fernandez will be part of the Dominican Republic volleyball team, as they hope to take home gold. What a great sport, that volleyball, right?
Ella Nelson - Australian Sprinter
Keep an eye on Ella Nelson, as the 22-year-old Aussie is looking to reel in some medals when she heads to Rio. We know she's fast, and we know she looks good running. And not many people look good running. Well, Tom Cruise always does.
Anastasia Ashley - American Surfer
Yeah, something tells me you give a damn about surfing now. Anastasia Ashley has been surfing since she was a little girl, and she has plenty of awards to show for it, too. Not only does she surf, but the 29-year-old also models. And boy, we sure commend her career choices. Anastasia will be in Rio catching some waves (or whatever it is surfers say).
Zsuzsanna Jakabos - Hungarian Swimmer
Zsuzsanna Jakobos has already competed in three Olympics, and while she hasn't brought home any medals it's OK because we'll have another chance to watch her do her thing when she shows up at Rio. Yeah, Hungary never wins anything, but we really don't mind watching Zsu try.
Alex Morgan - American Soccer Player
Alex Morgan is one of the most recognizable Olympians out there, already making a name for herself helping Team USA win gold at the 2012 games. Now Alex and her team will be at Rio looking to successfully defend their medal. Olympic soccer sure is exciting, as a bunch of folks like myself get to hop on our patriotic bandwagon. But hey, whatever it takes to see more of Alex.
Remember Sochi? The 25 Hottest Girls Of The Sochi Winter Olympics
Right after President Obama gave his speech at the DNC that had everyone buzzing, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton appeared on stage, as they both embraced in a hug. And while it was a powerful moment, it's no surprise at all that the internet flexed its muscles to get to work and photoshop the hell out of it.
Here's the original photo below:
And thanks to Reddit, here's what the internet did to it:
Seems like he's with her.
I wonder if this old man is: Old Man Standing On A Subway Vent Just Got The Photoshop Battle Treatment He Never Asked For
You love your wife. I mean you better, you vowed to spend the rest of your life with her. Still, there are certainly times when you might not see completely eye-to-eye. Most of those times are probably while you're trying to plan a major event in your lives together. Let's rank those times. (I hope you're still married by the end of list.)
This itinerary is gonna be so packed with activities that you'll wish you never got that time off from work in the first place. The only thing not scheduled is any time to relax for a second and actually enjoy your time away from regular life. (In the time I just typed this sentence, your wife just scheduled three more museum tours.)
5. A yard sale
Everything must go! At least, everything you care about. And every memento from earlier in your life, before your wife entered the picture. And of course any sports memorabilia. And your most comfortable pair of sneakers. And jeans. And gym shorts. But none of her nice stuff. Or even her crappy stuff. In fact, let's keep all of her stuff. We'll get rid of that at the next garage sale.
4. A move
You two finally found your dream house (or apartment). Now all you have to do is get all of your crap from your current place to your new place. Instead of just concentrating on packing everything up and sorting it out once you're in the new spot, you have to sort everything in a system more confusing than the dewey decimal system. Then, once you've unloaded all of your crap into the new place, prepare to try out at least nine different arrangements in the living room, each new look involving at least one of your heaviest pieces of furniture moving across the room.
3. A couples dinner out with all of your couple friends
Just pray to the good Lord that you aren't on the group text. It's bad enough trying to settle on a plan with your wife relaying all of the pertinent details to four other couples. If you get roped into the text chain, you are going to snap at someone -- your friend, your wife, someone else's wife -- and cause at least one divorce before you meet up at Applebee's next month.
2. Your child's birthday party
This is way worse than planning a regular party because the stress of figuring out how much food and drink to order is doubled since you need to sort out an adult menu and a children's menu. Then come the suggestions from your in-laws and your own family's insanity. If you really want to throw gas on the fire, remind your wife that little Juliette isn't even old enough to remember any of this and all of the cash going into this birthday bash would be way better spent on her college fund.
1. What you are going to order for dinner tonight
Me: "What do you want tonight?"
Wife: "I don't care. Anything."
Me: "So, Mexican sound good?"
Wife: "No, anything but that."
Me: "Got it. How about pizza?"
Wife: "Too heavy."
Me: *slowly loads bullets into shotgun* "Chinese?"
Wife: "We just had that last week."
Me: *inserts gun into mouth* "Sushi?"
Wife: "Not filling enough."
Me: *pulls trigger*
Wife: "Actually, a burrito sounds pretty good. Let's just do Mexican."