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- 07/29/16--06:16: _Weird News: Ridicul...
- 07/29/16--08:26: _Olympic Rower To Ri...
- 07/29/16--08:45: _We're Pretty Sure T...
- 07/29/16--09:13: _These 'Arthur' Meme...
- 07/29/16--09:36: _Florida Man Arreste...
- 07/29/16--14:15: _Girl Under Anesthes...
- 08/01/16--11:10: _A Massive Pile Of H...
- 08/01/16--11:54: _Dude Tries To Get E...
- 08/01/16--11:57: _Watch This Huge Bea...
- 08/01/16--12:17: _Sports Reporter Get...
- 08/01/16--13:41: _Dude Leaves Himself...
- 08/01/16--23:25: _Watch This Dude Com...
- 08/02/16--00:06: _Bill Burr Narrating...
- 08/02/16--04:50: _12 Righteous Facts ...
- 08/02/16--04:53: _Today's Funny Photos
- 08/02/16--04:59: _Read These #WorstSu...
- 08/02/16--05:20: _15 Wacky Old-Timey ...
- 08/02/16--05:42: _9 Things That Have ...
- 08/02/16--06:10: _The Most Honest Adv...
- 08/02/16--06:43: _Cara Delevingne Wor...
- 07/29/16--08:45: We're Pretty Sure This Yearbook Picture Includes A Drug Deal
- 07/29/16--09:13: These 'Arthur' Memes Won't Be Getting Old Anytime Soon
- 07/29/16--09:36: Florida Man Arrested When Police Mistake His Doughnut Glaze For Meth
- 07/29/16--14:15: Girl Under Anesthesia Can't Stop Talking About Balls
- 08/01/16--11:57: Watch This Huge Bear Chase A California Man Inside His House
- 08/02/16--04:50: 12 Righteous Facts About Mr. T, Who Likely Pities You
- 08/02/16--04:53: Today's Funny Photos
- 08/02/16--04:59: Read These #WorstSummerJob Tweets And See If You Can Top Them
- 08/02/16--05:20: 15 Wacky Old-Timey Photos
- 08/02/16--05:42: 9 Things That Have Worn Out Their Welcome
- 08/02/16--06:10: The Most Honest Advice You Will Ever Get About Popeyes Chicken
Here's a batch of snout candy that must have smelled terrible.
According to The LAD Bible, 24-year-old Joshua Hare is going to spend 13 weeks behind bars after getting arrested for cocaine possession. He is also uncircumcised. You see, we know that because Swindon police found the 7.2 grams of cocaine Hare was in possession of stashed under his foreskin last month.
Police said they responded to a nuisance complaint outside a Swindon Homebase on June 17. Hare must have been on some really good shit himself, because they found him buck naked around 8:30 a.m. Shortly after taking him into custody after a bit of a struggle, officers told the court that the wrap of blow "slowly emerged" from under his foreskin.
As a result of his cocaine possession, Hare will spend one week in the clink along with an "activated 12-week suspended sentence Hare had previously been given for aggravated taking of a vehicle without consent."
So, it looks like you can add the chance that the coke you'd be snorting might have come from underneath some dude's foreskin to the already long list of reasons to say no to drugs, kids.
Hello, 911? Yeah, my wife stole my blow: Ohio Man Called 911 Because He Thought His Wife Stole HIs Cocaine
The 2016 Summer Olympic Games in Rio have been under intense scrutiny for several months now thanks to mutilated corpses washing ashore where they're supposed to be playing beach volleyball, unfinished stadiums and living quarters, high crime, police welcoming tourists at the Rio airport with "Welcome to Hell" signs, the Brazilian president getting impeached and of course, severe water pollution.
Hell, just a few days ago, health officials in Brazil warned Olympic athletes participating in aquatic sports to keep their mouths closed because of a "superbacteria" floating through the water thanks to a massive raw sewage problem.
But at least one person doesn't give a shit about what we writers and bloggers have to say about the problems plaguing the upcoming Olympic Games in Rio. In fact, she is willing to literally "row though shit" for the honor to represent the United States next month.
If you're telling your coworkers today that nobody loves America more than you, well, you're wrong. That honor belongs to American crew rower Megan Kalmoe, who penned what is perhaps the most patriotic piece of literature this country has seen since Thomas Paine's "Common Sense" on her blog last week.
The entire post is a must-read, as it outlines why she believes the criticism of Rio not only undermines the unbelievable efforts put forth by thousands of workers to ensure the success of the Games but also the hard work and training American athletes have undertaken for the love of their country and countrymen and women.
But this excerpt from the end of her post stands out from the rest of it and will pump your veins so full of Americanism that some of us might actually get on a plane, fly down to Rio and stand alongside that lagoon of shit to cheer her on in her pursuit of a gold medal for our country:
"We are doing this for you, after all. We are American, and we are going to Rio to represent you in this potentially flawed and imperfect setting that you are trying so desperately to get the public to love to hate. We are going to compete for medals to bring them home to you, and for you so that the US has a good shot at winning the medal tally again in Rio. We go to Rio and face incredible odds, some of us, for you so that you will be proud of us, and proud of supporting Team USA.
We are supposed to be a Team–all of us–and those of you covering our stories, and those of you resting comfortably in your intellectual armchairs are supposed to have our backs. All of us owe something to our nation for getting us this far, or for believing in us, and competing under our shared colors is our way of expressing our gratitude to you. So tell me again why you want to talk about poop?
If you are that insecure about where we stand, America, let me be the one to say it. I'll say it, if it will allay your fears and put some of these issues to rest:
I will row through shit for you, America.
And I will do it gladly, and proudly, because rowing on this Team in Rio is not something I'm afraid of, or going to complain about. I will do it, and I will defend fiercely the dignity of the people who are doing their best to make everyone happy while we are all guests in their beautiful country. I will do it, and I will try to discourage you from taking away even the tiniest bit of magic or excitement from a single one of my teammates who have earned this trip with their blood and sweat, and all of whom deserve to have a really positive experience in Rio."
Mikaela Mayer will also have you glued to your TVs: 11 Reasons To Watch The Rio Olympics
If you flip through any yearbook you're bound to come across yearbook quotes, terrible jokes and drug deals. Wait, what? Well, that is what seems to be happening in the photo below shared on Reddit.
Take a look at the two dudes off to the side that seem to be exchanging something:
Either a drug deal just went down or this is just a promo picture for a teen drama from the '90s.
Famous folks were cringey, too: Famous People Yearbook Photos Prove They Were Just As Awkward As You Once
That talking aardvark Arthur is everywhere these days for some reason, as people have taken it upon themselves to create hilarious memes from random scenes in the popular animated show. While we've already seen what super-inappropriate "Arthur" looks like, check out some more funny "Arthur" memes below.
And it was one of the best shows of the '90s: Ranking The Best Cartoons Of The '90s
Boy, you'd think if anybody would know the difference between doughnut glaze and hard-core drugs, it would be the cops.
But according to UPI, that wasn't the case when Orlando police officers pulled over 64-year-old Daniel Rushing late last year.
Police pulled Rushing over on December 11 after he failed to stop while pulling out of the parking lot of a local 7-Eleven and then got clocked going 12 mph over the speed limit. One of the officers asked Rushing to exit the vehicle because he had a concealed carry permit and informed them that he did in fact have a gun on him.
But when he exited his car, Cpl. Shelby Riggs-Hopkins saw what she believed was "some sort of narcotic" on the floorboard, so she and her fellow officer searched the rest of the vehicle. They found three more "rocklike" substances and decided to perform a roadside test on them.
Despite Rushing's pleas that what they were holding was simply glaze from his delicious Krspy Kreme doughnut, the officers came to the conclusion that it was meth instead. So, they arrested Rushing, strip-searched him, held him for 10 hours and charged him with meth possession.
It's unknown what roadside tests the officers used, but it turned out they were way off and should have listened to Rushing because it was in fact doughnut glaze. Even sadder than that misidentification? You guessed it: It took a Florida Department of Law Enforcement crime lab several weeks to figure that out.
Doughnuts are dangerous: Indiana Woman Stabs Husband For Not Bringing Doughnuts Home
Chinese balls, bouncy balls, hairy balls (wink) -- it didn't really matter for Julia Sherman. Every kind of ball you can think of was fair game in the following video she tweeted, which we can only assume was after some sort of surgery not involving balls whatsoever.
guess I was thinking about balls lol pic.twitter.com/EsCErHK0cm— Julia/Balls Girl (@julia_sherman08) June 2, 2016
Not sure what that whole "call me" thing at the end was all about, but with her video already reaching 34 thousand retweets and counting -- not to mention she literally changed her Twitter handle to "Julia/Balls Girl" because of it -- it's safe to say it worked.
The fun continues: This Kid Woke Up From Surgery And Couldn't Stop Talking Gangster
If you thought Tila Tequila was a hot mess, wait until you read this.
According to UPI, a large pile of horse manure on a farm in New York spontaneously burst into flames earlier this month, and it took the efforts of three local fire departments to eventually put out the malodorous fire.
An officer from the Department of Environmental Conservation received a call on July 5 about a rank smell coming from a horse farm in the town of Throop. When the officer arrived on-site, he noticed a large pile of burning horse poop that had spread "dangerously close to a valley full of dry vegetation and dead trees."
Luckily, local firefighters were able to put out the blaze-o-shit before it damaged any of those dead trees or nearby homes, but it took them almost two hours to do so. The owners of the stable told authorities that their massive piles of crap had spontaneously combusted before, but "the smells and smoke had been carried away from nearby residences by the wind."
In a related story, the owners of one horse farm in Throop, New York, probably haven't received a Christmas card from their neighbors since the Bush administration.
Holy cow! 90 German Cows Start Fire By Farting
If you're eagerly trying to get the phone number of a gal you used to know, it's probably best you steer clear of her father. And if you somehow believe that reaching out to her dad is a good idea, you should probably put on a shirt before messaging him.
Take a look at what occurred when some dude was trying to get in contact with a girl named Skylar by way of her dad, Robert. Let's just say wisdom and experience won this battle.
Shout-out to Robert for being a dad that actually knows how to use his phone.
And then you have this dad who tried too hard: Dad Takes Out Full-Page Newspaper Ad For Son In Hopes Of Finding Him A Wife
In the words of the late, great John Candy, "Big bear. Big bear chase me."
It's hard to imagine something more terrifying than having a "fake bear" traumatize you, but we managed to find a video that just might fit the bill.
A man in Mammoth Lakes recently returned home from work and found his roommate asleep and two doors that were left wide open.
Oh, and he also found a mother bear and her two cubs in his kitchen. But instead of dancing together in a charming musical number for the next five minutes like every Disney movie ever, the mother bear got pissed and chased Rodney Ginn upstairs.
And that's when things got crazy:
Ginn said he initially thought the noise coming from the kitchen was his roommate fixing a snack, but that obviously wasn't the case. It's unknown how he eventually got the bears out of his house or how much alcohol he consumed after surviving something like that.
h/t Barstool Sports
He should have just told it to "f--k off!" Man Scares Away Grizzly Bear By Telling It To 'F--k Off' (NSFW Language)
Move over, drunk uncle at a high school graduation party. There's a new creeper king in town.
Australian Nine News anchor/smoking hottie Rebecca Judd is taking a hiatus from her gig because she'll be giving birth to twins sometime in the next few months. Well, sports reporter Tony Jones is sad to see her go, and we know this because he walked onto the set during her final broadcast for whatever reason, threw his arm around her like an absolute creep and eventually dove in for the real thing.
Let's see how that turned out for him:
Jones must have thought things were actually going well, as his next move was to unbutton his sport coat. But then reality quickly set in, and the cameras captured the moment he realized he must have looked like an absolute douche on live TV:
Yup, that's definitely the "oh shit" look you hope you never have to make when tens of thousands of people are watching.
You'll love this dress we call the ol' dickneck: Australian News Anchor's Jacket Made It Look Like She Was Wearing A Penis Necklace
Before going out to get some drinks you usually tell yourself that you're going to limit yourself to a few. And since that is a total lie, you end up being quite drunk. And this is why 30-year-old Steve Davidson decided to leave himself a note before heading out to get some drinks in him.
Check out the note that Steve left thanks to Twitter. But more importantly, check out what drunk Steve responded.
Thought you guys might like this note my friend wrote to himself before going out last night 😂 pic.twitter.com/NCbqG8W9Pj— Mama-friend (@Tarryntino) July 31, 2016
"Fuck you, Sober Steve," drunk Steve responds to sober Steve's helpful tips: "I do what I want. P.S. Tell Hangover Steve, he's a lil bitch."
Drunk Steve should have probably listened to his own helpful note, as he woke up feeling like total shit: "It [the hangover] was absolutely terrible. There just isn't enough water in this world to cure the thirst."
Just more proof that drunk you will always be a bigger idiot than sober you.
h/t The LAD Bible
And sometimes you stumble into a stranger's house: Drunk Girl Stumbles Into Wrong Apartment, Guys Living There Make Her Feel At Home
You have to think that sooner or later, people will finally come to the conclusion that standing outside during a thunderstorm while lightning strikes are slamming into the ground nearby is almost as bad an idea as going to a movie starring John Travolta.
This 16-year-old kid who decided to pull out his cellphone and film a recent storm in Bradley Beach, New Jersey, almost found out the hard way that you should get the hell out of there instead because he almost no longer had a pulse after a lightning strike came within a few feet of him.
"They said if I wasn't holding onto my bike, I wouldn't be here right now," Ethan Riozzi-Bodine said.
Sadly, Riozzi-Bodine didn't even have the excuse that he was too busy trying to catch Pokémon to notice the lightning around him. At least this time around, he was running around out there with his cellphone like an idiot on purpose.
h/t Barstool Sports
These dipshits went outside to see what happens when one billion volts of electricity hit the water:Lightning Strikes Don't Get Much Closer Than This
It's no secret that Bill Burr is one of the funniest guys on the planet, but he somehow found a way to show us that he's even more hilarious than we thought thanks to his narration of an old episode of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians."
Maybe it's the half dozen or so power forward references he drops when he's talking about Khloe, or maybe it's the way he breaks down her ridiculous lack of driving skills in the snow, especially after two tractor-trailers passed by and "caused" Khloe to lose control of the vehicle while a pregnant Kim looks horrified as she takes it all in.
Either way, this is the funniest thing you're going to see this week, courtesy of Bill Burr:
This was my grandma's, and I just took it from her. She's old and weak, and I was just like, "Grandma, I'm taking this." Bill Burr Showing You How To Make A Pie Crust Might Make You Piss Yourself
If ever a man deserved a compilation of random facts for no reason at all, it's Mr. T. However, while this list may initially feel random, back in May there was a Mr. T death hoax viciously making its way around the interwebs. And I don't know about you, but I wasn't ready to say goodbye to the man who taught me to hate sleeves. But I was ready to read a bunch of obituaries about his fascinating life. So consider these not so much random Mr. T facts, but more of a pre-obituary obituary. Just in case.
#1 - He Loves Gold
Laurence Tero Tureaud and his 11 older siblings grew up single-mothered on the mean streets of Chicago. After leaving the Army -- we'll get back to that in a sec -- Laurence worked as a bouncer at a club where he began to transform himself into Mr. T, partially by adorning himself with all the gold chains left behind in fights at said club. If you wanted your gold, all you had to do was go back to the club and ask the bouncer who just thumped you for it. At a 2010 weigh in, his approximately 6.25 lbs of dangling booty was appraised at $123,480.
#2 - He Hates Trees
Mr. T served in the Military Police Corps branch of the U.S. Army. Young T was once punished by his platoon sergeant, who ordered T to go chop some trees. Since Sarge didn't specify how many trees, Mister just kept cutting. By the time a superior officer stopped such verdant destruction three and a half hours later, Mr. T had chopped down 70 trees. I don't know about you, but I'm good for about one tree an hour when I'm really hating on Greenpeace; so yeah, that's pretty impressive on the Trees Per Hour (TPH) front.
#3 - No, Seriously, He Really Hates Trees
By 1987, Mr. T had moved on up to Chicago's Lake Forest suburb, aka "Tree City, U.S.A." as recognized by the National Arbor Day Foundation. But apparently all those trees weren't pitying T's allergies. So he chopped down more than a hundred of them, which caused quite the hullabaloo around the old, stodgy 'burb, and prompted an ordinance prohibiting such "outrageous destruction." Rumor has it he dumped some or all of that lumber in a marble pool and covered it with dirt -- much like he'd do to me if he found me writing rumors about him.
#4 - Don't Call It a Mohawk, Fool!
It was also while bouncing at the club that Mr. T came up with his signature look, which is not a Mohawk at all, but rather a Mandinka warrior hairstyle inspired by a 'do he spotted in a National Geographic while taking a break from stomping patrons. See what kind of great things come from hanging out at dens of iniquity?
#5 - Actually, Maybe Just Don't Talk About the Hair at All
After "Rocky III" made him famous, Mr. T told People a different reason behind the haircut: "This way, white folks can't say we all look the same." Makes you wonder how dumb the white folks were who said that to Mr. T.
#6 - Good Things Come From Throwing Little People
In 1980, T wound up on NBC's "Games People Play," which is where people turned for stupid videos before the internet. It was here, while playing catch with a 120-pound stuntman during a bouncer competition, that Sylvester Stallone discovered his toughest foe yet: Clubber Lang. Apparently Stallone likes bad TV.
#7 - Mr. T Is God
After "Rocky III" and "DC Cab," T's star was beginning to really soar, as did his magnificent ego. And being a God-fearing man with an inflated ego, of course he came up with his own Commandments. "Mr. T's Commandments" flip-flop between T throwing bad guys off and through stuff, preaching/rapping/singing teetotaling commandments, and leading a fresh line dance while wearing cutoff overalls.
#8 - OK, Not Quite God, But Close
As a bouncer, T cemented his tough rep and rubbed elbows with celebs, a combo that logically led to work as a bodyguard. Steve McQueen, Muhammad Ali and Michael Jackson all hired him, perhaps because his business card read "Next to God, there is no better protector than I."
#9 - He's Huge in Argentina
According to two very ardent admirers of Mr. T, and the collectibles site he inspired, an unlikely high percentage of impressive Mr. T memorabilia made its way to Argentina, where they call "The A-Team" either "Los Magnificos" or "El Equipo A."
#10 - Mr. T Don't Take Seconds
Mr. T was offered a cameo on the unnecessary film reboot of "The A-Team," but told Wendy Williams in both the first person and third, that Mr. T don't take seconds. He was wearing American Flag Zubas at the time, obviously.
#11 - Mr. T Was There When Wrestling Took Over the World
During the biggest night in pro wrestling history, and therefore the biggest night in recorded history, Mr. T teamed up with Hulk Hogan to get down with "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorf and Rowdy Roddy Piper in the evening's life-changing main event. When T and Hulk finally emerged victorious, for many of us, time began to fall into one of two categories: before Wrestlemania and after Wrestlemania.
#12 - He Convinced Nancy Reagan Santa Claus Is Black
"I was one of the wildest Santa Clauses they ever had," Mr. T said, reflecting on his time spent playing jolly old Saint Nick at Christmas parties during the Reagan administration. He and the first lady had grown close through the years after she asked him to aid in her aniti-drug program "Just Say No." Perhaps a little too close.
Related: 12 Fun Size Facts About Andre The Giant That Will Make You Feel Small
Welcome to another wonderful edition of funny photos, you're one-stop shop for all things LOLZ on the interwebz todayz. (Sorry, my "z" key is stuck.) When you're done here, don't forget to check us out on Twitter and Instagram.
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You had a good laugh, followed by a good cry, after reading our #WorstDate tweets. That got us thinking, what's worse than a bad date? A bad summer job, of course (and in this heat, no less). If you think you've got it rough, read these #WorstSummerJob tweets and see if you can top them. I hope not.
I worked in elder care. For three months, I washed every inch of one guy. AND, he was ticklish. #WorstSummerJob— Chris Hunnicutt (@BASSmanCHRIS) August 11, 2015
I heard a restaurant opened, and I took the job. Little did I know I ended up working at Hooters. And I'm a guy. #WorstSummerJob— Remy Calhoun (@remy_calhoun) August 12, 2015
Kylie was a Mascot and PUKED in her Costume 😖 what was your #WorstSummerJob— Virgin Morning Show (@985MorningShow) June 23, 2016
My uncle had me weed around his lake house and down the side his sand dune. I found out later it was all poison ivy. #WorstSummerJob— Sandra Kooiker (@SandraKooiker) August 8, 2015
Just had to clean up some woman's period mess in the bathroom #WorstSummerJob— Chris Mota (@CJMotaboat) August 10, 2015
#WorstSummerJob In High School I had a summer job removing bent/broken pine needles off fake Christmas trees!— balhamgirl (@RhodaWales) August 12, 2015
My friend spilled a urinal of pee in her shoe, and then worked the rest of the night with soaked shoe. #WorstSummerJob— Castalia (@castaliamartin) August 13, 2015
At the college computer lab, I had to shut down and clean up desktops that guys had used to surf porn. #WorstSummerJob— Nicole Neroulias (@BeliefBeat) August 8, 2015
#worstsummerjob I once sold my body for a bag of pistachios— Papa John (@boxedeagle) February 27, 2016
I was 20 and sold random stuff outta duffle bag to strangers in different cities. If it was drugs, would've done better. #WorstSummerJob— David Kitchens (@fathertrain) August 10, 2015
Got locked in the Chick Fil A freezer for 10 minutes. I had to sit there till some one let me out. I quit the next day. #WorstSummerJob— Ellie Kotsianas (@EllieKotsianas) August 9, 2015
Took care of five miniature goats and one miniature horse that managed to get out of the pen Chased it through forest #WorstSummerJob— Aaron (@mixedoffice) August 9, 2015
#WorstSummerJob I counted people getting on/off city buses. I would fall asleep & have to make up my stats. Never been on a bus since.— Rusty Haines (@RustyHaines) August 8, 2015
Following the Clydesdales at Seaworld to clean up "incidents". #WorstSummerJob— Mr. Sunshine's World (@MaRuFred) August 8, 2015
My first job was at a bagel shop and my manager had a hook for a hand #WorstSummerJob— KelseyDegnan (@KelseyDegz) August 8, 2015
When I was 16, I worked at a local store & had to reprice over 1000 cans of cat food, because the price went up by $0.01. #WorstSummerJob— Tia Mawhinney (@Tiam1980) August 8, 2015
I worked cashier @ a hardware store. A farmer went to the restroom to get more $ from his underwear and handed me damp cash #WorstSummerJob— katie tjader (@kmtjader) June 4, 2014
Take a look at 15 funny and wacky old-timey photos.
Four women hanging out at the seaside in the hottest bikinis you'll see.
Victorian couple from the 1890s trying not to laugh at the thought of selfie sticks.
The most popular woman on the block.
Here's an awkward Victorian family photo.
Just a good old-fashioned cakewalk.
This woman might be related to me.
Tsar Nicholas II talking shit (probably) in 1899.
Here we have someone else who may or may not be related to me.
Gals and lads cross-dressing (1880 -1900).
Either a little girl or a tiny woman doing a pig nose.
Victorian woman in mid-jump, or the Victorians really had a knack for floating.
This is either a couple or super-friendly strangers in 1897.
Dudes being fabulous at Yale in 1883.
Two ladies make a snow-lady in 1892.
Here's Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing. This dude was a psychiatrist.
h/t Bored Panda
And then there's this: Old-Timey Circus Freak Portraits
Let's be perfectly clear about these movies: At this point, the creators are having way more fun with them than we are. The original "Sharknado" was a fluke. Like most SyFy originals, it was dumb -- whether that was intentional or not -- yet oddly entertaining. But due to its massive success, they had to keep the storm brewing. Unfortunately, that meant upping the ante, which in turn led to overkill both literally and figuratively. They are simply trying way too hard now to be stupid, which comes off more pathetic than funny. Just look at the GIF above, which is an actual scene from Sunday's premiere of "Sharknado: The 4th Awakens."
Think of Chewbacca Mom like someone who won the lottery, which is essentially what 37-year-old Texas mother Candace Payne did back in May when her video went viral. Now, if you saw that very same person continuing to buy lotto tickets the next week, you'd be kind of pissed off, right? Haven't they already gotten enough money and fame for doing virtually nothing? That's what most of us were thinking about the next video she posted a few months later (embedded above). You had your fun, lady. Now kindly "make a better place, y'all" and buzz off. C'mon.
Lip Sync Battle
Speaking of watching other people have fun as they get richer and richer, does no one realize that "Lip Sync Battle" is essentially nothing? It takes absolutely no talent other than knowing the words to a song and wearing costumes. Though I suppose having someone choreograph dance numbers for you is pretty draining. And just to reiterate, the people watching this garbage aren't having any of the fun themselves. Worst of all, these are respectable actors participating in this show. Or at least they used to be.
Sequels, Prequels and Reboots
Just think of one original goddamn idea, Hollywood! It doesn't even have to be a great one. Just try it. By this point in my young life, I've essentially seen every movie from my childhood twice -- occasionally three or four times -- over in a slightly different way. Give moviegoers a little credit. We'll still watch something even if we don't immediately recognize the name. On top of that, it's not just movies. Even the very GIF from "Scream 2" that I used to strengthen my point was eventually turned into a TV show because someone decided a horror series by any other name wouldn't sell as sweet. What's next, rebooted rock bands?
This applies to both TV and movies, with every new film feeling like it's setting up an ongoing franchise instead of telling a story with a definitive beginning, middle and end. Regrettably, we live in a world of instant gratification now, so these little setups to a larger payoff are just angering people as they wait. Not to mention hyping them up so much that they can't possibly live up to the anticipation. Yes, that's a direct dig at "The Walking Dead," which will surely disappoint when it returns in October, likely because it will bait people through the entire premiere episode before revealing who got offed in the closing minutes.
We're happy to report that it's already on the way out, but that doesn't mean we aren't sick of hearing about it constantly. The most disturbing thing about this fad is that it's a game for children played primarily by adults who should be making more productive use of their time. Sure, it promotes exercise in its own way, but at the end of the day, it's still people walking around like idiots searching for imaginary creatures. Is that not completely absurd and pointless, or are we missing something?
Celebrity Twitter Feuds
We'd like to think actor Aaron Paul was mocking the likes of Taylor Swift and Nicki Minaj with his tweet above, but at the same time, we don't really care. Twitter feuds are as trivial as fights get, as they're not even real confrontation. They're two celebrities seeing who can get the most favorites and retweets before people stop caring and move on to the next thing they'll be infatuated with for a day. What makes these "fights" especially brutal is that even when you have zero interest in them, it's all the internet is talking about, so you end up knowing more about these petty, faux arguments than you care to admit.
Truth be told, I personally love superheroes and superhero movies and comic books and all of that good stuff. I'm a huge nerd. But I'm also not oblivious to those around me who couldn't give less of a f--k. I imagine every new "Avengers" movie or 5-hour ultimate extended director's cut edition of "Batman v Superman" that comes out only adds fuel to their hate fire. And rightfully so. It's everywhere. It's inescapable. And much like sequels/prequels/reboots, these kinds of movies and shows aren't going away anytime soon, regardless of what this character tells you.
Yeah, I remember the '90s. It was 16 years ago and I'm not suffering from Alzheimer's just yet. But please, do go on about the 10 jokes from "Hey Arnold!" that totally went over my head as a child. We realize this one's a bit hypocritical since we're guilty of posting the exact same BS we're mocking right now, but it's as if we're obsessed with the very notion that things we enjoyed when we were kids still exist. Of course they still exist! The world didn't blow up. Time didn't rewrite itself without anyone noticing. What's wrong with simply cherishing these 'toons and toys and board games as treasured memories rather than dissecting every facet of their being years later? Most of this crap's not nearly as good as you remember it when you take such an in-depth look back. And the stuff that is, well, again, you're in your late 20s or 30s by now. Maybe you shouldn't be spending key years of your adult life reminiscing on old cartoons so much.
People sure love their chicken, and if we're not burying our head in a bucket of KFC we're drowning our shame in a bucket of Popeyes. But Popeyes Chicken is obviously not good for you, and the woman in the video below completely tells it how it is.
The woman, known as Wuzzam Supa on Twitter, tells everyone out there exactly how she feels about folks that complain about their weight, as they stuff their face with chicken.
Popeyes $5 box is unhealthy!! Take care of your body!!!! pic.twitter.com/xXjBw1lG7A— Wuzzam Supa (@WuzzamSupa) March 31, 2016
Man, prime M. Night Shyamalan would have enjoyed that conclusion.
Popeyes Chicken can also almost kill you: Mom Saves Son From Driver Crashing Through Window At Popeyes Chicken
Cara Delevingne did the impossible last night -- she took everyone's attention away from the movie, "Suicide Squad." And that was AT the "Suicide Squad" premiere.
If you've been getting bombarded by all of the commercials and YouTube trailers and bus ads and pop-up ads and everything else getting pushed out into the world about this movie in the last month, than you realize it's not easy to avoid. But then Cara showed up to the New York premiere of the movie in this dress.
And now we can't even remember what the movie is about.
Here are some photos from the red carpet of Delevingne. "Suicide Squad" is out in theaters on August 5. If you still care.