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Today's Funniest Photos 3-8-13

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Adult Film Star Jesse Jane Still Looks Great With Clothes On

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Ask A Girl: When Should A Guy Start Buying His Girlfriend Anniversary Gifts?

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Our friends over at StyleList want to help you out. So, instead of just assuming you know everything a woman desires, why don't you listen to the editors at the premiere fashion site on the Web and make sure you are doing the right thing when it comes to the opposite sex? This week: How long into a new relationship should you wait before you start buying elaborate gifts?
When should a guy start buying his girlfriend anniversary gifts? After 1 month? 6 months?

We're going to shock you all with this one. As much as women may give the notion that showering us with presents all the time is a surefire way to our hearts, it's not entirely true. And when it comes to commemorating our relationship with a gift, we actually want you to wait.

Gift giving in relationships can be fickle - especially when done too early on. Things can fade too fast after six months. Not only have you now made a big to-do about a small moment in time, but what are you going to do to top it after one year? We want the moment to be special and to not feel tired.

Our advice (and, yes, we are actually admitting this) is that relationships should not have an anniversary with gifts until the one-year point. A few reasons for this:

o. Before a year, you may not know us well enough to get something that we will actually really like and have meaning.

o. One year is an awesome milestone, and something that (hopefully) hasn't happened with too many other women.

o. Celebrating an anniversary too early in the relationship can give the sign that this is something you do with every girlfriend. That's a BIG red flag!

If you wait till the one-year mark, your gesture will seem genuine and thoughtful. Can you say "keeper" material?

Don't get us wrong - the occasional little gift here and there to show your girlfriend that you are thinking about her is always welcome (we're not Amish). Just don't pair it with a card that says "Happy two-month anniversary!"

 

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These Computer-Generated Women Look Real

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Denise Milani Impostor Cons Physicist Into Smuggling Drugs, Lands Him in Jail

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You all remember the Manti Te'o story, right? Of course you do. We all remember because we all thought the story of a college football star falling in love with a girl online, only to be duped into thinking she died and then finding out she wasn't real in the first place, was ludicrous. We all thought nobody could be that stupid. But it turns out, many people are that stupid, including a college professor who also happens to be a theoretical particle physicist. His story, however, is even worse.

As reported by The New York Times, University of North Carolina professor Paul Frampton was conned into believing that he was communicating with world famous Czech bikini model Denise Milani. He had met her on an online dating site in November 2011, and the 68-year-old physicist was convinced that the person he was chatting with was Milani, and not only that, but that she wanted to quit her glamour model life and marry him.

(Photo via Denise Milani Facebook)

So, the poor, lonely and recently-divorced Frampton was hooked by the Milani impostor, and after failed attempts to talk to her on the phone, was finally told to come to Bolivia, where she was doing a photo shoot, to meet her. You'll have to read the whole story for all the details, but the plot is rather simple. Obviously, the "woman" online was not Milani, and when Frampton showed up in Bolivia, she was not there. However, she contacted him and told him that she had to leave quickly to go to another shoot in Brussels, and he could just meet her there. All he had to do before he came was pick up a bag she left behind and bring it to her, which he agreed to do. That would turn out to be a huge mistake.

As you should have already figured out, that bag left behind was lined with cocaine. The scam artist pretending to be Milani was simply doing it to find a desperate man like Frampton and use him as a drug mule. Frampton, although a brilliant physicist, was not wise enough to abort his mission to connect with Milani, his potential future wife with incredible DDD natural breasts (despite warnings from his close friend).

The story goes on to inform us that Frampton was arrested and thrown in jail in Buenos Aires. And while it is believed that he was honestly duped by a person online into thinking he was in Bolivia to meet Denise Milani, his lawyers could not convince the court that he had no idea he was being used as a drug smuggler once he arrived and got roped into the scheme (there were some very condemning texts sent from him to the person he understood to be Milani). Frampton was sentenced to 4 years 8 months for drug smuggling. He is not expected to be released until May 2014.

The lesson learned here fellas, once again, is to be very, very, very careful when dating online. Do not do ANYTHING for a girl who you have never met in person, and especially don't do anything that could possibly be illegal. If bad stuff can happen to a star linebacker and a world-renowned physicist, well, it can probably happen to just about any of us.

To understand how Paul Frampton could have fallen for this, check out these sexy Denise Milani photos.

 

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The 10 Best Banned Advertisements

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SKYN Condoms From Lifestyles: The Closest Thing to Wearing Nothing


"You do like sex, don't you?" This is an insane ad. It's tough to hack through the BS when she poses that bomb of a question onto our lonely genitals. Yes. I do like sex. She's right. And she's hot. So, she's smart, too. An ad like this would give every man who cooks for one a trip down to the liquor mart to pickup some SKYN condoms.

Scor.dk: Don't Rely on Cupid


An absolute gem in advertising for a dating site; this commercial plays as an entertaining short film. People searching for love or an occasional date often pray to the unseen, hoping a mythical centaur answers in the form of a hot mate who ACTUALLY likes you. We rely on these false hopes, believing that love is built on fate. The dating site Scor.dk busts this myth in a poetic and humorous manner that makes any lonely loser want to sign up in the hopes for something tangible.

BWVAKTBOOM: Boyfriend Went Vegan and Knocked the Bottom out of Me


PETA misses the boat on this one. I get the joke: boyfriend goes vegan and is a sex God worthy of orgasms who can cause his girlfriend to shoot back and knock the fuck out of her head on the wall. The problem for me is: it's a lie. Everyone knows that any animal who eats meat is much better in the sack. Vegan people are "lovers." Meat eaters are "fuckers." I'll take fucking any day of the week.

Ladbrokes.dk: Gymnastics


Here's a commercial for a futbol gambling site. It's always a swell time when you're watching something that's supposed to be so "graceful" and "timeless" like gymnastics or figure skating being absolutely destroyed by drunk, meat-eating hoodlums. Sure, it's been done many times. But it simply never gets old (even if it is for a sport Americans can give a fuck about).

Aila: Someone Here Needs to be Responsible






































As a fan of all things kink, I have to say dogs is one of the things I do not find to be a turn-on. Nonetheless, this is an effective, simple and cute ad. It's funny because these dogs are fucking. But it's cute. Because it's dogs. Imagine if we replaced these dogs with humans or aardvarks. Not so cute anymore, eh?

The Magic Fun Store in Tuscon: Just a Unicorn Humping a Dolphin

Great. Cute. A viral video about a horny unicorn fantasizing about humping a dolphin. Yes. A little long (especially for the Internet) but this is the type of commercial I wish would air during the Super Bowl. It's got everything: catchy tune, poor animation and unicorns. What else is needed? What it has to do with a Magic store? It has everything to do with a magic store.

Baygon: The Dream (Don't Let a Mosquito Ruin Your Night)

I don't know how many times a mosquito has fucked shit up for me, but this one takes the cake. It's a bold move for a mosquito repellant company to somehow make a commercial involving sex and how not buying their product will fuck up your sex life. I now spray Baygon even if I'm nowhere near the woods.

Learn to Speak English: Megan Fox Island


Look, I know a lot of people who actually don't find Megan Fox hot. Most of those people also don't find pornstars hot. I am one of those people who hope to one day marry a pornstar. So Megan Fox for me is hot. If there was ever a time to speak English it'd be in this commercial just to be able to ask Ms. Fox, "Do you do anal?"

Moe's Southwest Grill: Microwaves Ruin Everything


Telling a single guy that microwaves ruin everything is like stabbing their best friend in the balls. But as much as we appreciate and love our microwaves...deep down we know it sucks. Microwaves usually mean cooking for one; you're single; it's Friday night and you just finished jerking off for the fifth time. This advertisement demonstrates how much microwaves suck in a manly fashion: blowing shit up.

HIV/AIDS Awareness Ad




























Man, would this be comforting. To know what dick and harry were in the girl you're contemplating about slaying. It makes me think about the 20 guys that have graced this beautiful lady. It makes me not want to go down on her. And who is Matti Virtanen??! I hate that guy.

 

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Get Rewarded For Your Good Credit

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by Brett Smiley

If free food tastes better, a cross-country flight that costs exactly zero tastes best. Of course you shouldn't eat an airplane, but you get the idea.
I'm always surprised when I hear that someone doesn't take advantage of credit card rewards programs, the kind that will get you hundreds of dollars worth of hotel rooms on your next vacation simply for spending money (with plastic) you would have spent anyway. Some people prefer to pay with cash or by debit (from a checking account). Many guys fear the credit card debt succubus - and rightfully so - while some guys just never learned how to game the system. There's also a segment of the population that lacks good credit and can't get approved for cards that offer solid rewards. (Acquiring a good credit score is an entirely different article.)

But if you have good or excellent credit and you're not in the rewards game - you're missing out. You can do a lot better than Starbucks gift certificates. Here's how it works:

THE BASICS

Numerous banks issue credit cards with attractive rewards programs. They'll offer a lot of points for signing up for free air travel or hotels, or cash back and merchandise, among other things. Put simply, they want you to use the card and eventually carry a balance, and pay the bank interest. Don't be that guy! The key to everything here is, you'll pay the balance in full every month. Otherwise, you'll eventually pay interest that exceeds what you'll have gained through rewards.

QUICK REWIND

As we alluded to earlier, you'll need good credit to acquire one of the best rewards cards. Props to the Free Credit Report.com band, but the company's service isn't free. You can get your actual free credit report at annualcreditreport.com or find out more about your rating at creditkarma.com. (The Boston Globe explains the difference between a credit report and score here.) Now, onto the fun part...

SHOP AROUND

Put another way, what is it you want? There's solid cards for free travel, like the Chase Sapphire Preferred card that begins with 40,000 bonus points and the Delta Skymiles America Express card that jump starts with 30,000 points. As for hotels, Marriott and Hilton run similar programs that will toss you a lot of bonus points after signing up and spending a bit (more on this part below). Free flights and hotels will soften the blow of spending big bucks to attend a wedding where you'll give a gift, or to a bachelor party, where you likely to drop your card on a bar and pour beer into your head, i.e., more points.

THE POINT(S)

The point is - seek rewards programs that reward work for you. It's nice of banks to stuff your mailbox with offers for low APR credit cards or 0% balance transfer offers, but typically the offers that come in the mail don't offer great benefits. If you've got a Southwest or Delta hub near your home and find that you often use a particular airline, see if that airline offers a rewards card. There's various blogs that cover the latest rewards offerings, the best of which is thepointsguy.com.

APPLY YOURSELF

Oh yeah, you actually have to apply for the card. Do it online and often you'll receive an instant decision - an approval, rejection or a note that your application requires further review and you'll hear in about 30 days. But before you click submit, make sure you read the fine print and know what you're getting into. Some have annual fees (between about $49 and $99); often they'll waive it in the first year but not the second.

BEFORE YOU BATHE IN THE GLORY

In order to trigger the bonus points, the card issuer will usually require you to spend between $500 in the first three months on the low end and $5000 on the high end. Assuming you don't live at mom's house and have utility bills, car insurance payments, go out to eat and so on, it's fairly easy to meet the requirement if you pay with credit anywhere you can pay with credit. You're on your own at the nudie bar. Just make sure you keep track of what you're spending and have spent, which you can do online.

COLLECTING POINTS

This is part of knowing your program. Programs differ slightly in the way they dispatch points. Some offer triple points for expenditures on gas and groceries. The Capital One Venture card will give you two points for every dollar spent, regardless what you're buying. Others like Chase Sapphire have arrangements with merchants and offer up to 15 points per dollar spent at a store. It's a great deal when you already intend to buy something; for example I needed a pair of workout shoes last month and got 10 points per dollar for purchasing through Shoebuy.com.

SWEET REDEMPTION

So you've triggered the bonus (which may take a few weeks) and accrued some additional points. Excellent. You can find your exact points balance online and browse through the rewards offerings. If you're confused and/or lazy, call the 800 number on the back of the card and have a representative guide you through the redemption process. Tell him or her how awesome you are. With some cards, your points correspond directly with the travel benefit. For example, each point may be worth one cent, so 10,000 points equals $100 worth of travel. In some cases, the points are kind of arbitrary. Thanks to the Sapphire card bonus (which also provides 20% discounts on airfares) and some additional spending, I just booked a round trip ticket from New York to Los Angeles plus a one-way flight worth a combined $600 ... for free.

KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR POT OF GOLD

Your bonus may come with an expiration date. Even if they don't, the points may lose value over time. According to a report on CNN Money, Hilton, Marriott, and Starwood hotels have announced that they will raise the number of points needed for a stay at some of their properties. Stay ahead of the curve. Also note that you can't apply for numerous cards at once because that will adversely impact your credit. It's also difficult to trigger bonuses on various cards if you're all spread out.

CELEBRATE

The big day has arrived. It's time for your free flight. Sit down. Order a Bloody Mary or an absinthe drink on Virgin America. The drink isn't free but the seat is. Loosen your belt. Feels good, bro.

 

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Kim Jong-Un Is Pretty Sure That's Cake

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Kim Jong-un cake, North Korea Kim Jong un funny, Kim Jong un fat

North Korea's Kim Jong-un is causing a big stir in the world right now by threatening to blow up South Korea and drop nuclear bombs on America.

I think this crisis could be easily resolved if we just let him know how much cake would get incinerated if he were to bomb anyone. Boom, problem solved.

 

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10 Wholesome Drinks for Your Morning Routine

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Today's Funniest Photos 3-11-13

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Terrible Vanity License Plates, Vol. 2

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Anna Kendrick is a Quirky Cutie

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Criminal Defense Attorney's Mug Shot Appears Next To His Own Online Ad

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If doctors have to take a hippocratic oath, then lawyers must be required to take a hypocritic one. Or at the very least, this lawyer did.

Over the weekend, criminal defense attorney Thomas L. Edwards was arrested and charged for a number of crimes as the result of a hit and run he was allegedly responsible for. The charges included leaving the scene of the crash, property damage, and refusing to take a DUI test.

Being charged for any sort of crime is embarrassing enough for an attorney, however Edwards' must be feeling that to an extreme after his mug shot appeared on a local mug shot website just next to an online ad for his own legal services. The ad includes an image of Edwards with the questions: "Suspected? Arrested? Charged?" all in large text underneath. It's like it was his own personal checklist.

My only question is, when he demanded to speak to his attorney, did the cops just hold a mirror up in front of his face? I sure as hell would have. At the very least, I hope he watched this video at some point. It's very informative:

 

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Kate Bock Named Sports Illustrated's 2013 Swimsuit Rookie of the Year

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Very Awesome Pinata Fail Gifs

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Hilarious McDonald's Signage Fails

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10 Documentaries Everyone Should See

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Today's Funniest Photos 3-12-13

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Florida Man: The Comic

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One of our favorite parody accounts on Twitter is Florida Man. Basically, it's a feed for news headlines that start with "Florida Man..." and the link to the story. For example, here's one of the more recent tweets: "Florida Man Bit His Wife After She Grabbed His Penis".

Well, we thought it was so entertaining that Florida Man deserved his own comic. Thanks to the brilliant illustrations of Dave Rappoccio of TheDrawPlay.com, we were able to make that dream come true. So without further ado, we proudly give you...Florida Man: The Comic.

Florida Man comic twitter feed

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You'll Never Jump In A Puddle Ever Again

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Man Jumps Into Pool-Sized Puddle

Jumping into puddles is a rite of passage for every child. But when you're older, you have to up the ante. Regular old puddles aren't going to cut it, as proven by this video of a guy who jumped into something that is closer to a water-filled sinkhole than a puddle.

We have a hunch that everyone in this video knew what they were getting into (who films their friends jumping into a puddle?), but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable. Especially to the guy behind the camera.

Also Check Out: These Photos Won't End Well

 

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