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Articles on this Page
- 08/17/16--05:50: _The Best New Standu...
- 08/17/16--06:21: _Rams And Cowboys Fa...
- 08/17/16--06:30: _26 Of The Funniest ...
- 08/17/16--11:09: _Girlfriend's Note A...
- 08/17/16--11:38: _Michael Phelps Is H...
- 08/18/16--10:40: _Seeing This Woman P...
- 08/18/16--10:41: _Twitter Had A Hell ...
- 08/18/16--12:17: _A Naked Donald Trum...
- 08/18/16--12:31: _Brazilian Synchroni...
- 08/19/16--04:54: _What Your New York ...
- 08/19/16--04:54: _Today's Funny Photos
- 08/19/16--04:54: _15 Stoner Confessio...
- 08/19/16--05:37: _This Week's 20 Funn...
- 08/19/16--05:41: _Weird News: Ohio Ma...
- 08/19/16--05:53: _Nebraska Man Repeat...
- 08/19/16--06:10: _13 Dark Confessions...
- 08/19/16--06:16: _Probably The Most E...
- 08/19/16--07:13: _Couple Leaves A Tot...
- 08/19/16--07:20: _Impress Your Trivia...
- 08/19/16--07:43: _So I'm Pretty Sure ...
- 08/17/16--05:50: The Best New Standup Specials Streaming on Netflix
- 08/17/16--06:30: 26 Of The Funniest NFL Tweets To Get You Ready For The New Season
- 08/18/16--12:17: A Naked Donald Trump Statue Is Hanging Out In Major Cities
- 08/19/16--04:54: Today's Funny Photos
- 08/19/16--04:54: 15 Stoner Confessions About Being High At Work
- 08/19/16--05:37: This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets
- 08/19/16--05:41: Weird News: Ohio Man Arrested After Having Sex With A Van
- 08/19/16--06:10: 13 Dark Confessions From Cheating Spouses
- 08/19/16--06:16: Probably The Most Embarrassing Putt Of All Time
- 08/19/16--07:20: Impress Your Trivia Team With These Fantastic Disney Facts
David Cross "Making America Great Again"
The "Arrested Development" star gives us some clever jokes before getting right into the heart of political discourse with a clear-cut position, as educational as it is hilarious, about his stance on megalomaniacs.
Bo Burnham "Make Happy"
Following up a hit Netflix debut, Burnham is back to making light of some dark topics, keeping it entertaining with his piano playing and youthful takes.
Patton Oswalt "Talking for Clapping"
Landing right around the loss of his wife, we get a good look at some classic Oswalt, whose self-aware lifestyle involving drugs, clowns, crapping oneself and My Little Pony have never been so thought provoking.
Jim Jefferies "Freedumb"
The "Legit" man is back with yet another special, getting political and talking Trump, gun and going pro-vaccination. Trust us, it's hilarious how these jokes play out.
Tom Segura "Mostly Stories"
Talking naked dudes and naughty nurses, Tom Segura delivers another hefty special of laughs mixed with a bit of light racism, all of which are hard not to crack a cackle at.
Jimmy Carr "Funny Business"
A blunt Brit all the way, we get into the business of funny with Jimmy Carr's epic one-liners and amusing anecdotes in the most deadpan way possible.
Hannibal Buress "Comedy Camisado"
The slow-burn comic will have your laughs creep up behind you as he pulls sly and well-delivered stories about gambling, cuddling and just about anything else you might not expect.
Dwayne Perkins "Take Note"
His Netflix debut is an educational one for most Americans, as Dwayne Perkins will have you taking notes, laying out America in the most brutally hilarious way possible, dissecting culture one real-life experience at a time.
Theo Von "No Offense"
The Louisiana native heads home to serve up some offensive truths about love, Brad Pitt and loose chimps. In no time at all, you'll see why the special is titled the way it is.
Ali Wong "Baby Cobra"
She may not be preggers anymore, but she's still hilarious and even a bit sexy. Ali Wong is dropping bombs, one part feisty and three parts filth, and on the hunt for Mr. Perfect, but secretly just wants to be unemployed and talk dirty.
And these folks needs their own show: 12 Standup Comedians Who Deserve Their Own Show
With just a few more weeks until the NFL regular season kicks off, St. Louis Rams and Dallas Cowboys fans are getting ready the best way they know how: by getting drunk and beating the shit out of each other. Nice job, guys.
Preseason games are so important to these two fan groups that a bunch of idiots decided to trade some punches in the stands. Check out the video below to watch America at its finest:
And here's a closer look at society's intelligence dwindling:
Fellas, if you're angry at how shitty your team is, just try making snide, passive-aggressive comments to your loved ones like I do.
h/t Bro Bible
More important members of the community: Rowdy NFL Football Fans Get Into Unnecessary Brawl Parking Lot
It's almost time for a new NFL season, which means plenty of opportunities for your favorite players to blow huge moments and leave you devastated over your fantasy team for weeks to come! To help you prepare for that, here are 26 of the funniest tweets about the NFL from some very hilarious people. Enjoy!
Jack Del Rio name literaly means "masterbate into a river"— PFTCommenter (@PFTCommenter) January 19, 2014
Giants have a number for texting issues at the stadium. Feel like mine was not taken seriously. pic.twitter.com/4SPWcMIDkR— Augustus Steranklozo (@davelozo) December 20, 2015
You can tell Tim Tebow is a virgin by his unwillingness to give a new position a try.— Katie Nolan (@katienolan) March 16, 2015
okay guys bring it in coach belichick wants to speak to the team pic.twitter.com/lhzOgsala5— andy levy (@andylevy) February 1, 2015
Pete Carroll's phone pic.twitter.com/DFT3uYMgsQ— Umang Dua (@umangdua) February 2, 2015
"Tom Brady did nothing wrong" is Boston's "The Confederate Flag isn't really about slavery."— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) July 28, 2015
BREAKING: Patriots announce Dom Grady will start in place of suspended Tom Brady for the first 4 games of the season pic.twitter.com/ds9pBEIDfV— Fake SportsCenter (@FakeSportsCentr) April 25, 2016
Aqib Talib falls off the stage! pic.twitter.com/3vuLMIhjS3— Jay Busbee (@jaybusbee) February 8, 2016
CHIP KELLY: Does anyone want this last piece of ice cream cake?— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) December 21, 2015
DEMARCO MURRAY: (raises hand)
CHIP KELLY: Nobody? Guess I'll throw it away.
Fantasy Football is great because I now have a way to make another human's devastating injury somehow about me— ♡ Good Account ♡ (@SortaBad) October 11, 2015
Still the funniest Osweilerism ever https://t.co/yM0uG0nTpx— Shannon Burkhart (@s_burk23) August 15, 2016
this is the most sports vine that has ever been vined https://t.co/hxEheKMarP— Lana Berry (@Lana) December 4, 2015
Chip Kelly should go on a road trip to clear his head after this, but for him a long drive is like 38 yards.— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) December 30, 2015
You'd never have Odell Beckham's amazing catches without Eli Manning's shitty, uncatchable throws.— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) November 24, 2014
"looks like they're challenging the spot. let's go to mike carey"— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) January 12, 2015
"jim, i bake bread in my dishwasher"
"thank you mike"
the best catfish in existence is the God parody account that has been private messaging Russell Wilson— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) July 6, 2015
Bartender: What can I get ya?— ♡ Good Account ♡ (@SortaBad) November 25, 2015
"A Johnny Manziel please"
*Bartender pours a once-in-a-lifetime shot down the drain*
That'll be $15
Brett Favre has thrown his hat into the ring to replace the injured Jay Cutler. The hat was immediately intercepted and returned for a TD.— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) December 5, 2011
I bet like, 6 months after Miami chose the dolphins as their logo, they were like, "Oh yeah, sharks! Fuck."— Drew Snow (@Dschnoeb) August 5, 2013
*ding* said the NFL's random punishment generator after a long weekend of making whirring and sputtering noises— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) May 11, 2015
Any babies you produce are the sole property of the National Football League. Any other use is strictly prohibited.— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) February 8, 2016
So Tom Bradys only supsended 4 games for deflating footballs but Harambe the gorilla gets summarly executed for saving a childs life?— PFTCommenter (@PFTCommenter) July 13, 2016
Return of the Mock Draft Ruiner http://t.co/yyk0BapvdQ— stefan heck (@boring_as_heck) February 10, 2014
Finally, let's close with this -- Richard Sherman responded to this tweet:
With this perfect picture:
More: When WAGs Go Wild On Twitter
No one likes encountering bugs, especially when naked and vulnerable. But alas, that's the precise predicament this girlfriend found herself in during her morning shower. Never fear, however, as her gallant boyfriend was called upon to identify the creature and eradicate any similar threats to his lovely "babe." Such a quest shall be handsomely rewarded as well. That is, if we're interpreting all the diagrams in the following letter correctly.
I suppose it's possible she just plans to pinch the tip of his finger, but that hardly seems like a fitting reward for his efforts.
Subtlety is definitely not this guy's strong suit either: Girl Discovers Boyfriend's Love Letter Is Actually Code for Anal Sex Request
Michael Phelps just arrived back on U.S. soil with his family after dominating once again at the Summer Olympics in Rio. So, Phoenix's "Good Morning Arizona" crew decided to ambush the gold medalist at the airport with some congrats and a couple questions. Let's see how that went:
"Cool to just see him, ya know."
Sorry, news anchor guy, but Phelps doesn't feel the same way about you. (h/t Ruin My Week)
More: Michael Phelps' Death Stare Just Became Everyone's Favorite Meme
You might want to hold your breath for this one, because it's a doozy. Sorry, I meant poozy. But that cutesy description of the following video doesn't change the fact that it's pretty vile.
As far as having to go so bad that you simply couldn't hold it any longer, I suppose almost everyone has hit a similar breaking point at one time or another. But you just don't do what the woman below did. You find another way. Any other way, even if it means crapping yourself as you make a mad dash to the nearest restroom. Or garbage can. The scene was reportedly captured in China, and beyond what we've already said about it, it's pretty self-explanatory. Oh, and did we mention disgusting, because that's something you definitely want to know going into it.
That poor janitor.
h/t The LAD Bible
That may have been foul, but it's still not the strangest news to come out of China: You Haven't 'Seen It All' Until You've Witnessed A Man Fornicate With A Drain Pipe (NSFW)
It seems like every morning I wake up there is a new hashtag trending that is poking fun at Donald Trump or something he has said, and every single one of them is gold. And you can't really blame the internet minds, as Trump has made it incredibly easy (far more than usual) recently. Once again, Twitter had a blast at the expense of Trump with this incredible hashtag: #TrumpExplainsMoviePlots.
Check out below for the most hilarious ways that Trump would explain movie plots:
Big shark. Biggest shark you ever saw. I saw it, folks. Huge. Police chief. Great guy, friend of mine. He KILLED it #TrumpExplainsMoviePlots— Scott Dooley (@scottdools) August 18, 2016
This guy, this creepy guy, he's got scissors for hands. Many people are saying this. My hands, they're great. #TrumpExplainsMoviePlots— Aaron Wiener (@Wieneraaron) August 18, 2016
The park? Poorly run, folks. Sad. In my park the dinosaurs would be bigger. I mean YUGE. Make Goldblum great again! #TrumpExplainsMoviePlots— C. Robert Cargill (@Massawyrm) August 18, 2016
Biff—great guy, good friend of mine—they ruin his life! Doc and Marty—total losers. Can't win without time machine. #TrumpExplainsMoviePlots— Alex Gookin (@_AlexGookin) August 18, 2016
"Say what you want about these Sith guys- they weren't afraid to take the gloves off & win. Not like what we have." #trumpexplainsmovieplots— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) August 18, 2016
Little Frodo, very small guy, tries to destroy a ring, it takes forever, total loser. I'd do it quicker, believe me #TrumpExplainsMoviePlots— Trevor Donovan (@TrevDon) August 18, 2016
Scar – strong leader, respected. Jungle going great. Now? A mess! #TrumpExplainsMoviePlots— B.J. Novak (@bjnovak) August 18, 2016
Guy jumps off a bridge at Christmas. Needs to be rescued. What a loser! So what, he has friends. #TrumpExplainsMoviePlots— Jose Molina (@JoseMolinaTV) August 18, 2016
So they storm the beach, trying to recover this captured private. Bad film. I like people who weren't captured ok? #TrumpExplainsMoviePlots— Travon Free (@Travon) August 18, 2016
Thank the internet for this, too: Donald Trump Holds Up White Sign, Internet Launches Assault
Apologies in advance.
Now that you're still chuckling over Donald Trump and his explanations of some of the most popular movies, we'd like to take this time to share another Trump gem with you: just replace the laughs with vomit. Why? Because there's a naked Donald Trump statue out there.
The statue is currently residing in Manhattan, with identical statues also appearing in Los Angeles, Seattle, Cleveland and San Francisco. There is a plaque near Trump's feet that reads: "The emperor has no balls." Damn.
Check out the naked Trump statue below (heads up, he's very naked):
s/o to whoever installed this Trump statue in Union Square last night pic.twitter.com/Cldd4qkgyI— JamesMichael Nichols (@jamesmichael) August 18, 2016
And here's the one in San Francisco:
This new addition to the Castro in San Francisco is getting A LOT of attention- and giggles. pic.twitter.com/zJSKp0bmk6— Amy Hollyfield (@amyhollyfield) August 18, 2016
The statues are signed Indecline, an anonymous anarchist street art group who have done controversial work in the past, too. You can watch a video of the naked Trump statue being created here.
And why did they portray Trump this way? Here's what Indecline had to say: "We decided to depict Trump without his balls because we refuse to acknowledge that he is a man. He is a small arrogant child and thus, has nothing in the way of testicles."
h/t Huffington Post
Another masterpiece: A Genius Made A Portrait Of Donald Trump Using 500 Dick Pics
That headline may be a mouthful, but it's totally worth it for the payoff. If you've been watching the Rio Olympics at all, you've likely noticed Brazil's synchronized swimming team, which consists of, among others, 28-year-old identical twin sisters Bia and Branca Feres. It should come as no major shock that all the attention being thrown their way has also lead to a major surge in Instagram followers, as their joint account has now racked up an impressive 400K fans and counting.
Speaking of "racking up," Bia and Branca are also quite popular in Brazil, as they gained a lot of media attention back home when they decided to get matching boob jobs back in 2011. They gotta keep things identical, after all. Here are a few more shots of the twins:
Ever the overachievers, Bia and Branca are also models and actresses in their spare time, meaning this is probably not the last time you'll be seeing their pretty faces. Thank goodness.
h/t The Lad Bible
Speaking of two being better than one: 'Sweet Valley High' Twins Are Back Together And They're As Hot As Ever
The average New York City one-bedroom apartment costs $2,852 per month. We took this grandiose total and compared it with apartments -- both one-bedroom and two-bedroom -- in other cities across America and beyond. These figures come from Rent Jungle, current as of July 2016.
Prepare to be depressed.
Note: All numbers below are one-month figures.
COMPARING WITH OTHER U.S. CITIES
Pueblo, CO: $555
You could live in 5.1 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Two-bedroom: $684 (You could afford 4.2 two-bedroom apartments for NYC's one-bedroom price)
Total savings per month: $2,297
Fort Wayne, IN: $597
You could live in 4.8 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Two-bedroom: $830 (You could afford 3.4 2-BR apartments for NYC's 1-BR price)
Total savings: $2,255
Davenport, IA: $633
You could live in 4.5 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Two-bedroom: $737 (You could afford 3.8 2-BR apartments for NYC's 1-BR price)
Total savings: $2,219
What You Could Buy With $2,219:
Gibson Les Paul Deluxe 2015
Tulsa, OK: $684
You could live in 4.2 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Two-bedroom: $862 (You could afford 3.3 2-BR apartments for NYC's 1-BR price)
Total savings: $2,168
Little Rock, AR: $723
You could live in 4 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Two-bedroom: $876 (You could afford 3.3 2-BR apartments for NYC's 1-BR price)
Total savings: $2,129
Boise, ID: $771
You could live in 3.7 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Two-bedroom: $916 (You could afford 3.1 2-BR apartments for NYC's 1-BR price)
Total savings: $2,081
What You Could Buy With $2,081:
1,387 Snickers Bars
Memphis, TN: $784
You could live in 3.6 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Two-bedroom: $896 (You could afford 3.2 2-BR apartments for NYC's 1-BR price)
Total savings: $2,068
Tallahassee, FL: $804
You could live in 3.5 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Two-bedroom: $847 (You could afford 3.4 2-BR apartments for NYC's 1-BR price)
Total savings: $2,048
Detroit, MI: $837
You could live in 3.4 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Two-bedroom: $958 (You could afford 3 2-BR apartments for NYC's 1-BR price)
Total savings: $2,015
What You Could Buy With $2,015:
201 Netflix Subscriptions
Columbus, OH: $887
You could live in 3.2 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Two-bedroom: $1,056 (You could afford 2.7 2-BR apartments for NYC's 1-BR price)
Total savings: $1,965
COMPARING WITH CITIES OUTSIDE THE U.S.
Belfast, Northern Ireland: $884
You could live in 3.2 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Total savings: $1,968
Dresden, Germany: $939
You could live in 3 one-bedroom apartments for NYC's price
Total savings: $1,913
What You Could Buy With $1,913:
6 Labrador Retrievers
Florence, Italy: $1,128
You could live in 2.5 apartments for NYC's price
Total savings: $1,724
Madrid, Spain: $1,214
You could live in 2.3 apartments for NYC's price
Total savings: $1,638
What You Could Buy With $1,638:
An Oculus Rift for you and your friend
Liverpool, United Kingdom: $1,649
You could live in 1.7 apartments for NYC's price
Total savings: $1,203
COMPARING WITH THE THIRD WORLD
Tijuana, Mexico: $205
You could afford 7 apartments for NYC's price
Total savings: $2,647
Medellin, Colombia: $199
You could afford 14 apartments for NYC's price
Total savings: $2,653
Damascus, Syria: $197
You could afford 14 apartments for NYC's price
Total savings: $2,655
Oskemen, Kazakhstan: $130
You could afford 22 apartments for NYC's price
Total savings: $2,722
Mogadishu, Somalia: $50
You could afford 57 apartments for NYC's price
Total savings: $2802
What You Can Buy For $2,802:
Two tickets back to New York City
Welcome to today's funny photos, the ultimate example of when the headline tells the whole story. But just in case you didn't get it from the headline, let me explain: These are photos. Photos that are funny. And they are from today. Got it? Good. Now get to scrolling and laughing and we'll all have a good time.
Follow Mandatory on Instagram.
Follow Mandatory on Twitter.
Click now for more funny photos.
Nobody likes a narc, which is why the following anonymous blurbs from Whisper from people who have gotten blazed before punching in are so awesome. No one technically knows who's getting high on the job, and yet it's safe to assume we're all doing it (but not me, because my boss is probably reading this intro). Anyways, read and compare as you have a few good laughs -- possibly while stoned.
h/t The Chive
Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
Somebody gotta explain to me how gymnasts do that 1 super jump when they jump 9ft in the air after 5 straight jumps of going 6ft in the air— Larry Beyince (@DragonflyJonez) August 8, 2016
HBO, please start doing this for The Night Of. pic.twitter.com/joFL8UOoy2— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) August 8, 2016
Well *almost* no boundaries. pic.twitter.com/q7tXcSfyG1— Matt Crowley (@MatthewPCrowley) August 3, 2016
when u don't really feel like having sex but it's his birthday pic.twitter.com/s4Svj2gRdC— errkuh (@hairicaaa) August 12, 2016
Saying "I'm not politically correct" is a very politically correct way of saying "I'm racist."— Payman Benz (@PaymanBenz) August 4, 2016
You know what..... pic.twitter.com/GwfeM5aQQt— Lazer Gun Carrier (@branfire) August 8, 2016
Numbers do not lie. pic.twitter.com/po4c7WeNs0— CAFE (@cafedotcom) August 15, 2016
the closest thing to magic irl is if u yell "SNORLAX" in a busy street its like a spell that causes evryone to stop and look at their phones— jomny sun (@jonnysun) August 8, 2016
Usain Bolt being named Usain Bolt is like Michael Phelps being named Charley O'Swimsfast— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) August 15, 2016
"Making my way downtown— Clint Smith (@ClintSmithIII) August 15, 2016
And I'm home bound"
The best part of Kevin Hart's wedding pic is him standing 10 feet in the foreground to be as tall as his wife. pic.twitter.com/EPAp3dtmms— Travon Free (@Travon) August 14, 2016
Just said out loud "if this flight gets delayed again I'm going to flip out." But honestly -- I probably won't. Will probably hold it in— Matt Ingebretson (@mattingebretson) July 31, 2016
Kinda looks like it says 'WHEAT THINS' for a split second in the "Stranger Things" opening credits pic.twitter.com/B9rEuVfwNN— Keelayjams (@keelayjams) August 14, 2016
This is all fun and games until I come home gone off the henny and drown. pic.twitter.com/5J1lBE9Onk— X (@XLNB) August 13, 2016
When they're too young to understand capital letters but old enough to be WOKE AF pic.twitter.com/LejZj2mp3m— Jelena Woehr (@jelenawoehr) August 12, 2016
please kill me pic.twitter.com/r0wmdUloyG— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) August 15, 2016
Who else panics when they're stopped next to a school bus because teens could possibly be in there roasting you— Bone Apple Tea (@shakiraaevans) May 10, 2016
This is terrible. Why not just bring a stuffed animal?? pic.twitter.com/9WIX7wYahB— nah (@JayUhOh) April 14, 2014
I don't usually get political on social media but Gildan has no right making t-shirts.— Sal Vulcano (@SalVulcano) August 8, 2016
NO GOOGLE I MEANT THIS pic.twitter.com/LFaek8aPx5— hunny... (@Spungke) August 12, 2016
Want more? Check out last week's hilarious tweets.
Yeah, that's not how you're supposed to fill 'er up.
According to The Smoking Gun, a 35-year-old Dayton man was arrested for public indecency Tuesday night after a concerned citizen witnessed him having sex with the front grill of a van parked in a neighbor's driveway.
Police said Michael Henson was only wearing gym shorts and shoes when they arrived on the scene, and he appeared to be "under the influence of some type of narcotic."
Let's hope that was the case because they were responding to a 911 call from a woman who said she saw Henson "pull down his shorts and expose his penis" before "placing" it "in the front grill of the van and humping it as if he was having sex with the van." He allegedly took the van to pound town "for a while" before stumbling over to a neighbor's yard and passing out.
The only possible positive spin on the story is that if you are Henson's dealer, it's obvious that you are slinging some pretty good shit.
Sometimes when you're in Ohio, you just want to poop on a van: Ohio 'Serial Pooper' Has Defecated On 19 Cars
Here's a new way your sweet tooth can get you into trouble.
According to the Omaha World-Herald, a 53-year-old Omaha man unloading groceries from the backseat of his car Tuesday afternoon thought he hit the jackpot when he found a random bag of brownies next to his bags of purchased grub, but it turned out to be one of the worst days of his life when those brownies turned out to be laced with weed.
Now, anybody who has ever consumed one pot brownie would tell you that after doing so, it often feels like you're having the best day of your life, man. But when you scarf down four of those fuckers, well, may God have mercy on your soul.
Unfortunately for the Omaha man, he partook of four of the brownies and began experiencing "bad anxiety." He called one of his kids who had borrowed the car earlier in the day, and he told his dad he was "pretty sure it was just marijuana in the brownies."
The man's wife called police and paramedics, who said the man's vital signs were normal despite the fact that he was "crawling around on the floor, randomly using profanities and calling the family cat a 'bitch.'"
The man's wife eventually put him down for a nap, and he's expected to be fine. His relationship with the cat might need a little work though.
This couple's dog found a bag of weed and then they blew it by calling the cops: A Dog In Mississippi Brought Home A Bag Of Pot
I'm not married, but I'm going to assume from the misery I see painted on most couples' faces that marriage is rough. But even with that said, cheating is never the solution. And even though this woman was caught cheating at a baseball game and this dude was caught cheating thanks to Facebook, that still wasn't enough of a warning to stop the spouses below from cheating.
Thanks to Whisper we get to read these cheating spouses' darkest confessions.
Well, there's always this: English Woman Dumps Cheating Husband Using Massive Road Sign
Anybody who has every watched golf on television has witnessed a pro miss a four-foot putt that even he or she would tell you should have easily found the bottom of the cup.
But missing a tap-in putt that is no more than two inches from the hole? Well, that has to be a first.
Meet Haru Nomura of Japan. She is representing her country in the Rio 2016 Olympic Games, and all she has to do is tap in this ball that's a mere inches away from the cup, and she'll par the 11th hole.
Let's see if she can do it:
Despite the putting gaffe, Nomura was tied for 12th and just four shots off the lead following the round. And hey, it's still more honorable than creating a media shitstorm after lying about getting robbed at gunpoint.
h/t Barstool Sports
Damn you, people. This is golf! Shooter McGavin Is Still Having Fun On The Golf Course 20 Years After 'Happy Gilmore'
Here's a life lesson: If you're going to have an issue tipping your servers, it's probably best you stay at home and stuff your face with some mac and cheese. And if you're a total racist and idiot, it's best you stay away from people all together. Unfortunately, the idiots in this story didn't do any of those things.
Sadie Elledge, an 18-year-old waitress who works at Jess' Lunch, in Harrisonburg, Virginia, was waiting on a couple who had ordered just two gyros and a salad. And all was fine and non-racist until the $26.11 bill came in and Sadie saw what the couple had left as a tip.
Check out what the tip was thanks to John Elledge's (Sadie's grandfather) Facebook:
"We only tip citizens." Yep. It was also signed "Adam Dart."
John posted a picture of the receipt on his Facebook where it went viral, causing the restaurant to pull surveillance video from the incident, and according to John the police got involved:
"The way I understand it, the woman who signed the receipt is at the restaurant this very second with the police," he told Huffington Post. "She's angry and the police are there. Apparently, she just signed the receipt. She didn't write the comment."
And if you're interested, Sadie is a U.S. Citizen, and her father was born in Honduras, while her mother in Mexico. Sadie also has some words for that couple:
"It doesn't matter whether I'm Hispanic or American or whatever you want to call it. I'm still a person and you should still treat me with respect."
And it has happened before: Some Douche Left A Horribly Racist Comment Instead Of A Tip At Thai Restaurant
Now that you've dived into things you probably didn't know about Disneyland, it's time we learn some facts about some Disney. From more recent hits like "Inside Out," to classics like "The Lion King," even the biggest fans don't know some of the facts below. So kick back and read up, and make sure to take these facts in to your trivia team next time you see them -- you may start to finally get some respect from them (you won't).
Via The Chive
And then there's this doozy: 4 Points About Disney Movies That Will Change How You Think About Them Forever
Thinking of having to walk long distance anywhere is enough to give me the runs, but it's not so bad for me since I'm not an Olympian. I'm also not on live TV. But the same can't be said for French race walker Yohann Diniz.
Diniz was taking part in the 50k endurance event, a 31 mile hell-trek, when something that appeared to look like poop began running down his legs. Take a look at proof of this thanks to this tweet:
did the leader in the race walk shit himself? pic.twitter.com/aNc6lx4hJn— nick pants (@nick_pants) August 19, 2016
And you didn't ask for it, but here's a closer look:
Diniz was leading the race, which proves that if you want to win a medal you need to put everything on the back burner. Even taking a shit.
Unfortunately for Diniz, he did eventually collapse. Take a look at it below:
Officials rushed to Diniz, but he got up on his own and continued the race.
Good for you, Diniz! No amount of shit will bring this dude, down.
This has to be worse: MMA Fighter Craps His Pants All Over Ring After Getting Decked